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Ring Barrier

Getting engaged should be an exciting and happy experience. The woman has the easy part, she just has to be happy and say yes. The gentleman, however, has to navigate all that comes with proposing. Talking to the parents (if he so desires), plotting out the proposal plans, and ring shopping.

I didn’t realize how much guys worry about engagement rings. A friend of mine said that he did not want to disappoint his girlfriend so he made sure to get her sister involved. My co-worker said that his wife didn’t like the engagement ring he selected and she told him as much.  They nearly broke up because of it.  I know of another couple who delayed their engagement until they could afford the ring she they wanted.

Perhaps I just don’t get it,  but what is it about rings that can cause so much stress? It’s supposed to just be a symbol of a couple’s love and commitment, isn’t it?

Have you ever had a ring cause a breakup? What is the “proper” etiquette for women who receive rings they don’t like? What do you think men should spend on engagement rings?

What happens to the ring if the wedding is called off? Do you think the ring should matter as much as it does?

407 comments Add your comment

East Point's Own

January 29th, 2010
2:19 pm

Until a year or two ago I had never heard of women who demanded a certain engagement ring. I was told that the man should buy the ring the woman wants because she has to wear it every day. I always thought that the proposal was squarely up to the man, I never thought that the woman should know its coming. If you go out ring shopping with your lady then she knows the engagement is coming. At most I would say that the man should pay attention when they aare out and she admires certain rings, or take note when she leaves magazines open on the table with a ring on the page…LoL

But I would say that if I bought a woman a ring and she was displeased with it we would have a problem because that shows that she cares more about the ring than what the ring means.

If the couple breaks up the ring should be returned, I mean why woulkd you want to keep a reminder of a failed relationship anyway?

But that’s just http://hispointofview.com

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
2:19 pm

There was a guy that worked here that constantly went out of his way to make himself sound “smart” but failed miserably because he constantly used words in the wrong place. He would be talking and someone would just blurt “That’s not what (insert word) means”.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 29th, 2010
2:22 pm

Raqi – Yeah that dude on in living color too..

But honestly.. If Dan wants to express himself then so be it.. Let him do him.. Ya’ll should be used to it by now..

Leggs

January 29th, 2010
2:23 pm

Did I do dat…..

SexyCool

January 29th, 2010
2:27 pm

Raqi – Shthead used to do that. And HATED to be corrected. So, I just started letting his ass go around sounding like an idiot especially towards the end.

Dream_n

January 29th, 2010
2:27 pm

Raqi

I know what you’re talking about. At my job, when I was fairly new my co workers would be having conversations. This older woman would feel the need to say a word while having the conversation, then look at me and give a brief meaning. I didnt pick up on it at first, but when i finally did. I told her dont do that.She would say a word, then look in my direction and say “you know when blah blah blah”

SMH at her giving me a definition of the word before continuing.
I chalk it up to her being an older white woman and me being the only black at my location. (and the youngest)

Dream_n

January 29th, 2010
2:28 pm

Leggs

January 29th, 2010
2:28 pm

LOLOLOLOL…that was funny, SexyC!

Dan - my invented truth

January 29th, 2010
2:28 pm

How about a compromise?

I continue to not lash out at the overuse of “lol” and emoticons (I mean really, if your joke was funny would lol be needed?)

and

y’all forgive me and my “word of the day”

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
2:29 pm

LOL SexyCool. It wouldn’t be so bad if people like that were just making normal mistakes but to make yourself sound dumb trying to make yourself sound smart? LOL

Leggs

January 29th, 2010
2:29 pm

Sheesh, SexyC. Your post was posted while I was typing my response and now my response is before your post. Weird.

SexyCool

January 29th, 2010
2:29 pm

You go first.

Dream_n

January 29th, 2010
2:29 pm

Sassy you have now used your maximun emoticons for today.. please refrain from using anymore.

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 29th, 2010
2:30 pm

D K of course nothing’s with it ;)

My bad CeeMee :oops: You know how I get sumtimes…lol

Dream_n

January 29th, 2010
2:30 pm

Cemeeli

January 29th, 2010
2:31 pm

SassaFrass this week – Two Bean Chili…

Tazzee – Catch that mail.

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
2:33 pm

Dream_n, we also had one of them here. Felt the need to give meanings as if other didn’t know them already. If you feel you need to give definitions try talking on a level everyone can understand.

Beautiful

January 29th, 2010
2:33 pm

i kept my ring. he didn’t ask for it back. i made it into a beautiful pendant necklace. i wear it everyday. :o ) that was my 2nd one. the first one jus sits on my dresser. i used to wear it, but found out the hard way that it scared off men!

SexyCool

January 29th, 2010
2:33 pm

Leggs – I would cringe when I would hear him say “numerous OF times.”
Double you tee eff?

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
2:36 pm

Dan, the use of LOL and emoticons are strictly because when reading a forum you cannot see each other facial expressions to know that they are just kidding or making a joke.

Sometimes those disclaimers are needed and sometimes folks still get offended.

so sad

January 29th, 2010
2:36 pm

This whole idea makes me sad. I remember the day when a young man could ask a young lady to marry him without an engagement ring. The wedding band was the symbol of love, a circle of never ending love.
The engagement ring is the cherry on top not a requirement. Any women or girl that ask for a specifice ring or an amount spent on a ring should be reconsisded as a future mate. A diamond can always be a nice anniversary gift when money is not as big an issue.
Broken engagement what happens to the ring?? Groom breaks off the wedding the ring goes with the girl. The girl calls off the wedding the ring goes back to the guy.

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
2:36 pm

Leggs, there’s an Omen. The other day I asked Infamous a question and saw my question on the screen. But when I refreshed his answer to my question was before my question.

Beautiful

January 29th, 2010
2:37 pm

went out last nite. i’m paying for it now. my eyes hurt. but the band *legally blind* was hot!!! six of us had a great time. a lot of old friends from high school was n da house! TN who is my son’s VP at his high school was there. he is so phine. they called him LL Cool J all nite. he hugged me and didn’t want to let go. awwww. another guy came up to me and said *i see you on FB all the time*. really? gotta look for him on there later.

gotta run! have a good w/e y’all!

Melo

January 29th, 2010
2:38 pm

Dan?? 2.04??
iI havent said anything in an hr,let alone to u…must be some melo ghost,if smebody addressed u with my blog name…

Anyway..uall now onto Judgemental..blah blah??

DONT judge Morgan then,coz u dont know the facts…

what im gleaning:

he phlucking ex step daughter

she not blood altho he called her daughetr at some point

started when it was legal for her to be smelt..aka 18 yrs old

he 75..means he can breath in,make it rise,breathe out..make it calm down :lol:

the state where he lives,let alone any other state in america says,”its fine”

the wife may not have been upfront with delivering the matrimonial gifts..refer to Raqi if in doubt… :lol:

hes in Holywood..u need eye candy on ur arm over there…

at 25 now,after 7 years of receieving it,she must be satisfied.

MELO says..THERE IS NO PROBLEM…….she is a former step daughetr!

Uall Jealous..U wld step in her shoes,all u females if it were u being approached by HIM!

SexyCool

January 29th, 2010
2:39 pm

Oh…and the other thing that I used to tell him, “Having an extensive vocabulary does not make you a good communicator. So, are you more concerned with ’sounding’ intelligent or being understood?”

Dream_n

January 29th, 2010
2:44 pm

LOL @ Melo (Dan i only did the LOL b/c Melo has no idea that I actually gave a hearty laugh out loud at my computer while reading his post) Am I going to have to do this every time??

So, are you more concerned with ’sounding’ intelligent or being understood?”

My sentiments exactly

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
2:44 pm

SexyCool, yeah then they want you to believe that it’s your fault that you cannot understand on the level that they are speaking when in reality they haven’t really said anything.

Dan - my invented truth

January 29th, 2010
2:44 pm

@Melo

My bad, homie

@SC

I’ve heard that before (re 2:39), but here’s my thing: if you can’t understand me given the resources at all our fingertips (blackberry’s, iPhone, etc.) then really, is it my fault or your problem? (the nebulous “you”)

Leggs

January 29th, 2010
2:45 pm

“Double you tee eff?” CUTE!

“Having an extensive vocabulary does not make you a good communicator” You’re absolutely right!!!! Take my boss, he’s a freaking geninus, but can’t form a simple question. It must take him 3 mins just to ask me to go make a copy of a document! By the time he’s finished talking, I have no idea what he asked me to.

I know Raqi. Weird

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
2:46 pm

Dan, when it’s just a easy to talk on a level that all can understand? Why the need to pull out the “thesaurus and dictionary” just have casual conversation with every day folks?

Leggs

January 29th, 2010
2:47 pm

“…if you can’t understand me given the resources at all our fingertips (blackberry’s, iPhone, etc.) then really, is it my fault or your problem?” HELL YEAH it’s your fault. Who brings out gadgets to discern what a person is saying in everyday convo?

SexyCool

January 29th, 2010
2:47 pm

So, I have to have a frickin’ dictionary on hand to converse with you? Again, stop it, Dan. That mess is tiring, tiresome and a turn off.

Cemeeli

January 29th, 2010
2:48 pm

@ Melo – I’m gonna call touchback on your foolishness! It is his grand-daughter that he at some point help rear.

I don’t care what you say…that’s nasty!!!…gone somewhere

Leggs

January 29th, 2010
2:51 pm

Dan, you need to talk to robots!

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
2:52 pm

Dan, what do the following terms mean?

1. Conversate

2. Interpretate

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 29th, 2010
2:53 pm

Dream guul Stop it I say!…lol

Dream_n

January 29th, 2010
2:53 pm

SO to be Dan’s 1 true..

You have to be okay with a $30 meal at a restaurant. Don’t even think about a penny more. Have on hand a gadget to understand what the he!! he’s talking about. Be at least of the age of 40. And dont expect an extravagant wedding casue we got bills to pay.

SexyCool

January 29th, 2010
2:54 pm

Cem – I was going to say that it’s disgusting and creepy and Granddaddy Freeman ain’t got enough money…mattafact…ain’t that much money in the world.

Sybil

January 29th, 2010
2:54 pm

It is obvious that Dan is quite impressed with his own intelligence.

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
2:56 pm

Dream_n, yeah a $150 device just to have dinner and conversation with a guy that does not want to pay more than $15 for your meal.

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
2:58 pm

Dan, you know we just messing with you. We all have our day. Don’t get those suede elbows dirty now.

Oh yeah, I forget. “LOL”

PRINCESSNIK

January 29th, 2010
2:58 pm

@ MELO Uall Jealous..U wld step in her shoes,all u females if it were u being approached by HIM!

Don’t nobody want worms!!!!! :)

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 29th, 2010
2:58 pm

Who brings out gadgets to discern what a person is saying in everyday convo?

Well sah….

The Theory of Reciprocity states that… I couldn’t help it…just couldn’t.

Melo

January 29th, 2010
2:59 pm

Grand daughter or step daughter

@Dan??

growing without, in a single parent home and poor and aspiring to be learned is no excuse for speaking above those u trying to communicate with..coz now if u think u do have the tools to be able to speak in a sophisticated way..

If the folks u talking to(at??) aint understanding,that aint communication,per definition..coz communication is a 2 way convo…u commune,i(they) decode,i hit u back,u decode.Like dat.

Non-Communication is NOISE!

Dan - my invented truth

January 29th, 2010
2:59 pm

@Raqi

1. Nothing; but it is used as a colloquailism (and it’s irratating);

2. I’ve never heard in my days.

@Sybil

As the conversation(s) have developed, clearly it is not I who is impressed by what for me is casual conversation (project much?).

@Dream

Here’s my thing, if you (the nebulous you) want someone that can speak, write, or communicate on a given social level at his discretion, then that is your choice in life, I wish you luck in it.

So, the synopsis here is “Dan is DTM”…..well alllrighty then

Dream_n

January 29th, 2010
3:00 pm

The Theory of Reciprocity states that… hahahahahhahaha.. Sassy you a mess!

In all seriousness I’m juss mess’n around with ya!

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
3:01 pm

Some of the richest of the rich, more famous than not can’t spell worth a darn and don’t attempt to talk over common people’s head.

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 29th, 2010
3:01 pm

what do the following terms mean?

Now he’s about to write a dissertation on said terms…..

CeeMee you gone send that 2 bean my way?…..please.

Leggs

January 29th, 2010
3:02 pm

:wink: ing at your Melo (that’s winking)!

Melo

January 29th, 2010
3:02 pm

Dan/School

I want to buy a house with room for a garden