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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Ring Barrier

Getting engaged should be an exciting and happy experience. The woman has the easy part, she just has to be happy and say yes. The gentleman, however, has to navigate all that comes with proposing. Talking to the parents (if he so desires), plotting out the proposal plans, and ring shopping.

I didn’t realize how much guys worry about engagement rings. A friend of mine said that he did not want to disappoint his girlfriend so he made sure to get her sister involved. My co-worker said that his wife didn’t like the engagement ring he selected and she told him as much.  They nearly broke up because of it.  I know of another couple who delayed their engagement until they could afford the ring she they wanted.

Perhaps I just don’t get it,  but what is it about rings that can cause so much stress? It’s supposed to just be a symbol of a couple’s love and commitment, isn’t it?

Have you ever had a ring cause a breakup? What is the “proper” etiquette for women who receive rings they don’t like? What do you think men should spend on engagement rings?

What happens to the ring if the wedding is called off? Do you think the ring should matter as much as it does?

407 comments Add your comment

Cemeeli

January 29th, 2010
1:19 pm

@ Tazzee – okay. Do your MPs and Cs…

Mine is different to a many cause i have a growning child that i consider daily as well as his. It won’t be just me affected in the concept of how/where the relationship is going.

and that circles back to SwizzB, the kids…the kids.

Dream_n

January 29th, 2010
1:20 pm

They look for the same things in prison that they do in the real world i.e.love,companionship,friendship,etc

Although that statement is true, it just seems twisted.

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
1:21 pm

I’m sorry Dan but I don’t understand that question. There is obliviously a typo. Please retype.

But as for me thinking love is based on material possessions that I don’t. However I still say that there is nothing wrong with having them within reason. Yes it is very important that two people agree on the life style they want to live before getting married, but for me to get all angry and pissy about something my husband wants to buy just because we did put it on the list in the beginning stages is just crazy.

I am not saying a woman should spent all kinds of crazy money on a wedding, but I am just saying that guys like you should see our wants as being just as important to us as yours. And you have realize just because I didn’t want it today does not mean I will not want it next month. The same go for your menfolk.

That’s were communication and compromise comes in. Instead of a stern no, because you don’t see the necessity what’s wrong with considering it and maybe trying to work out a way for her to have it. Hell, most places will grant payment plans.

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 29th, 2010
1:23 pm

Although that statement is true, it just seems twisted.

I know right?…that’s why the whole time I was like :shock:

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
1:24 pm

…we did not put it….

Dan - my invented truth

January 29th, 2010
1:24 pm

@Leggs

Thus the apparently, if I was mistaken – my apologies.

So, by the fact that you still have questions about my “exasperation”, am I correct in assuming that if the opposite were true (ie she’s exasperated with me about something) that in that case my feelings come before hers given the significance to me of a given event?

I mean, if I’m to consider her feelings regarding a wedding, are mine not relevant?

Dan - my invented truth

January 29th, 2010
1:26 pm

@Raqi

Would you care to answer my question for Leggs as well?

And it isn’t about the wedding as an event. It is (for me) about the bills after or the (potential) depletion of savings prior.

We are essentially saying the same thing, that communication and compromise will get “us” where we’re both comfortable.

Cemeeli

January 29th, 2010
1:29 pm

@ Dan – Yes please consider your feeling. You would be a mess if she spent over the budget if you didn’t say anything.

And why do i get the feeling you would have a blinged out wedding…maybe not…but she (jsut cause) might see to it.

after all that talk.

PRINCESSNIK

January 29th, 2010
1:34 pm

tazzee, nevermind i googled it, wow first of all i didn’t realize he was 75 years old and she is 25 wow, i’m speechless

Professor

January 29th, 2010
1:36 pm

So Dan, how do you deal with all of the laws that govern us that are based on moral judgement? Someone had to pass those laws.

Anyway there is a difference between opinions and judgement…we had several folks on here stating Akeys and Swizz were sl.uts, but guess what we still have some sl.uts that we deal with.

PRINCESSNIK

January 29th, 2010
1:36 pm

@ Dan/CEE, Yes please consider your feeling. You would be a mess if she spent over the budget if you didn’t say anything.

And why do i get the feeling you would have a blinged out wedding…maybe not…but she (jsut cause) might see to it.

You guys ever watch that show on WE called rich bride poor pride, too funny the bride and groom always have differing ideas over the budget

Cemeeli

January 29th, 2010
1:37 pm

Mytwo – here’s some “ism” since you like hearing the dimp pimp is a little man.

today, a.m. I could sense the hesitancy in his face to ask, but he did anyway….”Momma, is it okay to have a friend of the opposite sex and be just friends?”…(my simple “Yes” reply) “aiught cause, Tarlissa is cool I like her, but I don’t like her like THAT – and I don’t want them to say we go together. She’s smart and funny I want to hang out with her”…

yuuup, “that’s what’s up” ….hmmm let’s see where this goes.

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
1:38 pm

But Dan, there will always be something. If she wants a big wedding, since this is what we are talking about today, why plan and save to give her what she wants.

The way you are talking about “bills afterwards” can go for anything. Will not take vacations because there will be bills that still occur when you get back? What about going out just within the city? Or just major purchases around the house that aren’t exactly necessary but nice to have?

The bills are going to be here no matter what. But you only live once. Don’t deprive yourself or woman from the having and doing nice things because there will be a bill that may and will come later.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 29th, 2010
1:40 pm

I bought my EX wife a nice ring because I look at the ring to be a reflection of me and at the time I thought she only deserved the best..

Luvbug

January 29th, 2010
1:40 pm

They look for the same things in prison that they do in the real world i.e.love,companionship,friendship,etc

Not talking about prison per se, but women are known to seek the above when no men are around. Women can also have one stud and live happily among other women with long gaps of sex (years and years) in between…I say all this to ask…

Do you think that nonsex is type of sex for women? Men seem to need sex. But women seem to be able to easily substitute sex-sex with non-sex-sex (companionship, friendship, conversation)

And no, I am not talking about lesbian action.

PRINCESSNIK

January 29th, 2010
1:41 pm

ooops rich bride poor bride i meant to say, and no its not always the bride who wants the extravagant nuptials

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
1:41 pm

…why not plan and save…

Dan - my invented truth

January 29th, 2010
1:42 pm

@Professor

I understand the religious tradition and history behind our current legal system and abide by them for the sake of the collective.

However, in my personal life, I try not impose my morality on to anyone else, nor use that to either condemn or approve of their choices.

I can only pray for people…

Just saying

January 29th, 2010
1:43 pm

Dan – But judgmental people make it worse

TOUCHE’ Not that I agree that blogging is judgement but I like that comeback

Just saying

January 29th, 2010
1:44 pm

Dan – you don’t agree with “each one teach one?” I know it’s suppose to be freaky Friday but just wondering

PRINCESSNIK

January 29th, 2010
1:45 pm

Do you think that nonsex is type of sex for women? Men seem to need sex. But women seem to be able to easily substitute sex-sex with non-sex-sex (companionship, friendship, conversation)

I don’t think so! I think there is a place for each of the things you mentioned. I want “nonsex” and “sex-sex” in my life.

Cemeeli

January 29th, 2010
1:46 pm

@Princess – The affair started when she was 17 or 18 years old…even more perved.

Dream_n

January 29th, 2010
1:47 pm

@ Luvbug

I can find a lot of substitutions for sex. While its natural and enjoyable. It can sometimes be overrated.

Leggs

January 29th, 2010
1:49 pm

@Dan ~ Baby Boy, I don’t have anymore questions about your exasperation. Yes, your feelings are relevant, but do you know you talk funny?

Dan - my invented truth

January 29th, 2010
1:51 pm

@Just Saying

I’m always willing to learn something…especially from a young lady

SexyCool

January 29th, 2010
1:51 pm

Head nod.

Being intimately involved in the planning of my sister’s wedding, I am overwhelmed with the sheer detail and COST of it all. It’s really making me think long and hard about what I want when I get married. I just want to sign the license, jump a broom and take some really nice pictures with me in a reasonably priced dress and him in a nice suit and call it a day.

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

January 29th, 2010
1:54 pm

Does sex with self fall under the realm of non-sex? I’m jus sayin doh

WOW

January 29th, 2010
1:55 pm

Dan - my invented truth

January 29th, 2010
1:55 pm

@Leggs

I wasn’t aware that the use of an above average vocabulary was “talking funny” (if that’s what you’re referring to)

Luvbug

January 29th, 2010
1:56 pm

I was wondering b/c, in general, when men in long term committed relationships mention what’s a turn on, it usually directly involves sex. When you pan to the women in those relationships, they mention things that lead to sex before the sex…helping out around the house, going out to eat and talk, other non sex things…then somewhere at the end…sex

So, it sometimes makes me think that most of the sex for women is actually the nonsex lead.

Just saying

January 29th, 2010
1:56 pm

Dan: I’m always willing to learn something…especially from a young lady

I just bet

Dream_n

January 29th, 2010
1:56 pm

above average vocabulary

So what’s an avergae vocabulary?

Just becasue you’ve found 12 different ways to say a word???

lmao.. some people

Leggs

January 29th, 2010
1:57 pm

Above average, nope. You know how some southerners really have that twang in their voices and we say they talk/sound funny. You got that twang!

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
1:57 pm

I used to think Morgan Freeman was gay.

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 29th, 2010
2:03 pm

I didn’t know that verbose meant above average….

SexyCool

January 29th, 2010
2:04 pm

Sex-Sex?? and Non-Sex?? WTH?

SexyCool

January 29th, 2010
2:04 pm

Stop thinking so hard, woman.

Luvbug

January 29th, 2010
2:04 pm

Does sex with self fall under the realm of non-sex? I’m jus sayin doh

lol

Dan - my invented truth

January 29th, 2010
2:04 pm

@melo

“Just becasue you’ve found 12 different ways to say a word???”

No, because I choose specific words to express my intent and try to make point as clear as possible. I appreciate, in all contexts, truthful and coherent expression (regardless of my agreement with the point being made).

Luvbug

January 29th, 2010
2:06 pm

SexyCool – LOL – I couldn’t think of another way to describe it…pretty much all that stuff you do with your partner and/or friends that makes you happy but is not sex

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 29th, 2010
2:06 pm

Just becasue you’ve found 12 different ways to say a word???

No Dream guul maybe it feels above average if they’re wearing the smoking jacket with the matching ascot…

Dan - my invented truth

January 29th, 2010
2:08 pm

@Sassy

Again, who defines ‘too’?

Dream_n

January 29th, 2010
2:09 pm

Sometimes I think you pick out specific words in the dictionary and promise yourself to use each and everyone for that day. While you may try to articulate your point to the best of your ability sometimes your posts come across as bunch of mumbo jumbo.

But I gotcha :wink:

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 29th, 2010
2:10 pm

Sassy – Hey whats wrong with a smoking jacket and ascot.. Im offended..

SexyCool

January 29th, 2010
2:11 pm

Luvbug – what am I gone do with you? LOL!!! I loveS my blog people! (Most of ya’ anyway) :)

Dan - my invented truth

January 29th, 2010
2:11 pm

@Dream_n

Believe it or not, I speak like this off-line and as casually as well.

And you’re funny with the “word of the day”

SexyCool

January 29th, 2010
2:14 pm

Aw, hell, Dan – sometimes, you just come across like you’re trying too damn hard. And I know you’re all comfortable in your own skin and with yourself and how you choose to express yourself and all that, but sht, I’m just sayin’. Boy, stop.
LOL!

Raqi

January 29th, 2010
2:14 pm

Be honest, Dan, you use the Microsoft Word Thesaurus don’t you?

Cemeeli

January 29th, 2010
2:14 pm

and there it is. @ Sassy and Dream_n – ‘com on nah! hehehehe

Dan - my invented truth

January 29th, 2010
2:18 pm

@SC

I’ll try. But it’s a function of who I am and how I think.

@Raqi

Actually, I really do use dictionary.com to hone the meanings.

Look, I read the dictionary as a child, I’m half a nerd.