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The Tipping Point

It is so easy to get stuck in a relationship that is not going anywhere. Trust me, it happens all the time, even when you have said that you aren’t “dating just to be dating”. Somehow complacency sets in, red flags get ignored, and before long you both reach your tipping point.

When a new romance reaches its tipping point, one or both of you are faced with choices to make. You can communicate and express your needs and desires to redefine your connection, or you can cut your losses and move on.

The tricky part (to me) is figuring out when to salvage the relationship and when to chuck the deuces and move on. When there are no major hurdles for you to cross, shouldn’t you want to work out personality clashes?

Is it possible that reaching a “tipping point” is just another relationship milestone to reach? Don’t some couples go through it and come out stronger than they were before?

Have you ever dated someone and things were going “alright”, but just got a little stagnant? How did you figure out if you would invest more time and effort? How do you know when it’s worth putting in the work?

427 comments Add your comment

Dan

January 28th, 2010
8:43 am

“Chuck the deuces?” Really, WD, really? A lil hood there, yeah?

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

January 28th, 2010
8:53 am

Yep….that’s my last relationship all the way. Lasted off and on for a decade. Stagnant is not even the word. But let me get this coffee on before I try to wrap my brain around this topic. Danny Boy…you already know my story. ;-)

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
8:54 am

When there are no major hurdles for you to cross, shouldn’t you want to work out personality clashes?

Sometimes personality clashes are a MAJOR hurdle in themselves. For example my sis and her bf, she is a neat freak almost to the point of ocd and he is a bona fide slob. I believe they are currently at their tipping point.

How did you figure out if you would invest more time and effort? How do you know when it’s worth putting in the work?

You have to know what’s important to you and what’s worth working on. Betty Wright said it best “anything worth having at all is worth working for and waiting for………….No Pain, No Gain”. Everyone is going to have their diff opinions as to what is worth investing more time and effort.

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
8:59 am

“How do you know when it’s worth putting in the work?”

When I see that he too wants to make it work. Can’t have a one-sided relationship.

Dan

January 28th, 2010
9:03 am

How did you figure out if you would invest more time and effort? How do you know when it’s worth putting in the work?

That’s an easy one; when you want to.

I’ve dated a few ladies that I felt were worth the extra effort and some that weren’t.

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
9:06 am

Morning

You just have to decide which “personality clashes” you can live with and which ones you can’t. Sometimes you can tell it’s time to roll when things you once found “cute” or “different” become a major irritation. I dated this chick who always ate her meat last at a meal. In the beginning, no biggie, it was even fuel for some jokes. It’s when it started fueling arguments that I knew it was time to go. When things that shouldn’t cause arguments do, then you’ve got to “chuck the deuces”. WD are you from Cali? Have to start calling you OG Dub D.

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
9:06 am

When I see that he too wants to make it work. Can’t have a one-sided relationship.

Ameen Leggs!!!

Good Morning

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
9:08 am

DreamM good point you made me think of something from the past….lolol it was good it ended somethings just runs its course really…

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
9:12 am

Have you ever dated someone and things were going “alright”, but just got a little stagnant?

Yes. And we actually parted ways once. Like you said you have to determine when to completely cut it loose and when it’s worth holding on to. I had to learn that no matter how much I liked a guy and no matter how much we were into each other, it is unrealistic to live in an utter state of elation at all times. It’s just not happening. But the question is how do you recover? Can you recover?

You have to be truthful within yourself first as to what the person means to you. Do you like them? Is it worth working at? If it’s worth working at that’s the time you may need to get creative. Plan a weekend getaway. Surprise them with a candlelight dinner. Something to see if that spark is still alive. However, if you go thru the motions just to find yourself at the very same place after just 3 days, it’s more than likely over.

Professor

January 28th, 2010
9:16 am

Hola!

I am in agreement with Leggs and DreamsM. I would like to add I govern with my head a lot, so if we both decide the relationship is worth it and it is logical to proceed I go for it…my head rules by 52%, because this heart will get me in trouble.

@SlimOne…a decade. Now that was a long one off/on…if you are okay with it please give us a summary especially on when you knew it was over. I have seen a few of my associates do the on/off thingy for 5 years or less…hoping he would grow up or get himself together money wise, or just things like that…hoping the outcome would be a ring. What held you two together for so long?

I hope you don’t mind me asking.

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
9:16 am

DreamsMat, I agree. If you find yourself arguing over the dumbest, most tedious crap something is definitely wrong.

IMO if you are apart for 3 days and you don’t miss that person at all, chances are it is over. When you stop looking forward to spending time with that person, it’s over. When the thought of that person’s touch no longer excites you, it’s dead. When you start looking for excuses for why you can’t go out, stick a fork it, it’s done.

ThirdWheel

January 28th, 2010
9:18 am

Good Morning people! I am going through the same thing right now. Have been with my SO for a year now and I am about to get the U-Haul and dip out. I don’t even know where to begin… I am tired of picking up after him… He is a huge time slob and I am a clean person. I thought he would become cleaner after living with me but no… Then he eats all the food so when I come home I have nothing to eat… Then when I had a good paying job I loaned him money all the time… he only paid back half but I never said anything. Now that I am down on my luck and need a loan and he is doing better than me he is like ummmmm can’t help you…. But I think the last big kicker is that he doesn’t want to have sex because I lack experience.. well if he wasn’t so fat and lazy maybe I could get some experience…. GAHHHH I am just done… Ok stepping off my box now….

Pookie Mae

January 28th, 2010
9:19 am

my baby dady dont wont me to date nobody elce but hr do. i dont thant it rite.

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

January 28th, 2010
9:20 am

“How did you figure out if you would invest more time and effort? How do you know when it’s worth putting in the work?”

When you reach a point where you two have either grown apart, or when the basic goals, wants, or needs aren’t pointing in the same direction.

When a person’s hunger, drive, or want to put in effort is no longer there.

When you feel there is nothing productive coming from the relationship…

when there is no longer any further growth…

Like Katt Williams said before, if 10yrs ago you were selling nicks & dimes but you haven’t moved up to kilos or coke 10yrs later, then maybe that’s not what you need to be doing…knowutumsayin LOL!

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
9:22 am

This make me think of John Legend’s song “It’s Over”!!!!!!! LOL I played that song silly…..

Dan

January 28th, 2010
9:22 am

@Thirdwheel

Wooow. You ‘loaned’ him cash and he didn’t return all of it; and now can’t ‘loan’ you any? Eating all the food? And he don’t wanna knock?

And you’re just thinking of leaving, as opposed to being gone…..okay

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
9:23 am

Dan, I was thinking the same thing. All the evidence seems to say that Thirdwheel’s guy is no longer in the relationship.

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
9:23 am

people are who they are and noone can alter that like raqi mention you either like it or you don’t….good point

Professor

January 28th, 2010
9:24 am

Dang ThirdWheel

He sounds a little selfish especially as it relates to the money part. As for eating all of the food…I have seen both men and boys do this, but they will pay for the groceries so it is no biggie more like “who ate my cheesecake and took Mo’s Pepsi.”

After reading that one post it sounds like you might as well bounce. As for the intimacy part, I will let the blog men handle that one!

Regardless of the outcome…I hope you do what is best for you and everything workout in your favor!

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
9:30 am

I think a few other it’s over no brainers would be when you are the only one making an effort to do things in the relationship. When you find that nothing happens or gets done unless you initiate it or just do it, it’s over.

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
9:32 am

When you are no longer a priority but merely an option to them, it’s over.

For Real

January 28th, 2010
9:34 am

What up Blog Fam!!

Wise: This sentence really struck me. “It is so easy to get stuck in a relationship that is not going anywhere.” – What does “not going anywhere” mean. Is marriage the only place a relationship can go? And once married where does the relationship go from there? I’ll bring my point home after you or any of the blog chicks respond.

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
9:34 am

I think a few other it’s over no brainers would be when you are the only one making an effort to do things in the relationship. <——-My red flag that Iplayed the fool for but NOT ANY MORE as I shout it out with my sunday shouting shoes on!!!!!! Boy Raqi if that ain't the truth I don't know what is sistah!!!!!!

ThirdWheel

January 28th, 2010
9:35 am

Thanks yall! I keep hoping he would change for the better but it’s been a year and I am tired! I would rather be on my own than put up with his crap. He does help pay for the food but he should still be sharing.

kimmie

January 28th, 2010
9:35 am

Morning Gang!

Slim, every time I see your “nicety” moniker I think of that song where she says “just call me nicety”! Who sings that, do you know?

On topic:

Sometimes, things just run their course. You cannot force it. No matter how nice the person is, how great you guys look on paper together, sometimes it just is not meant to be. I like the 4 things that Slim listed. And these are the things that break people up quite a bit, stuff that’s not so obvious like infidelity, abuse, money issues, etc.

I also agree with Raqi – when you’re not even looking forward to seeing that person, you know it’s over. I understand it won’t be fireworks every single day, but the thought of seeing each other should put a smile on our faces.

Dog, this is all kinda sad, really.

There are so many things that me & SO want to do together and achieve together – I don’t know if there will be enough time & money to do it all, but the thought and pursuit of it is exhillarating!

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
9:35 am

think a few other it’s over no brainers would be when you are the only one making an effort to do things in the relationship.<————–If that ain't the truth I don't know what is and a sistah does the happy shout know that I know playing the fool and ignoring that sign alone when he ain't making things happen it is nothing but a waste of time to even think he remotely wants you or to be with you…..that thing holds no man or woman for that matter….

Dan

January 28th, 2010
9:36 am

@For Real

From ‘dating’ to marriage; from marriage to death. <– the relationship timeline

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 28th, 2010
9:36 am

Good day…

“How do you know when it’s worth putting in the work?”

I think it’s worth putting in the work when the consistency outnumbers the issues. Meaning, if she is usually cool, but maybe she is having a bad week, then I can understand. We just have to make sure that the other person is not always taking issues out on us.

I think it’s important for singles not to become a punching bag or reservoir for their partner’s waste. Meaning, that everytime there is an issue, you find yourself being a psychologist rather than a SO.

Another way to prevent things from being stagnant is to have some balance and space. I know when it’s fresh and new, you guys cant live without each other, but you have to give them space, let the tension build up, and let them miss you. We have to keep some parts of our lives seperate at times.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
9:36 am

@Dan
we all have a lil hood in us. sometimes can’t hold it in. the gurls and i stepped into a club fri nite and let go. we vibed to the music . . . we felt at home. especially when the dj playd r kelly’s *feelin’ on ya boo’ooty*!

lol.

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
9:37 am

When I see that he too wants to make it work. Can’t have a one-sided relationship.

Ditto on that Leggs.

ThirdWheel let it go….he already has. He sounds selfish and sounds like a user BUUT please know that you,too have to accept some accountability for the situation also. Albeit, it’s not the situation you hoped for but at present it is what it is and you have to do what’s best for YOU. You can do it.

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
9:38 am

Professor

January 28th, 2010
9:39 am

ThirdWheel

I would leave him point blank, but remember that is just my opinion. As for the changing thingy…do you really think he is going to walk in, with a “sack” of food, clean the house, make dinner, feed you strawberries and love you down????

You need to consider what you will and will not do for “love” and stay true to yourself. Do you think he is seeing someone else, because of the lack of intimacy? Do you think he used you to get over the his financial hump? I am just asking…

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
9:39 am

hmmm my other two post din’t make it a sign to step away huh…have a good one folks!!!!:)

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
9:42 am

@lady j
c-ya chica!

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
9:43 am

@ Kimmie “just call me nicety”! Who sings that, do you know?

Michel’le

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
9:44 am

I’ll say this.. I have made many decisions and stayed longer than I should.. So I guess I dont know much about when to leave or when to work. However I do know this.. When its time to go you will know. You will know.

For Real

January 28th, 2010
9:45 am

Trike: Acknowledge you made a mistake by choosing ole boy. Acknowledge your shortcoming in the relationship and apologize to ole boy. Then give him a big azz hug and step. And remember this quote to ensure that you have learned your lesson.

“It’s often true that the most important lessons any of us have to learn are the lessons we have to learn more than once.”

Dan: You ain’t neva lied!!!

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

January 28th, 2010
9:45 am

@kimmie “I think of that song where she says “just call me nicety”! Who sings that, do you know?”

Um it was that chick with the real squeaky little kiddie voice that used to date Doc Dre back in the day. Me’chelle something…can’t recall her last name. SOmebody help me out here….???

Dan

January 28th, 2010
9:47 am

@For Real

Come on, Son!

You know that (some) ladies never make mistakes, especially in choosing men. It the male species fault. All ‘men’ are the same.

Don’t ask for miracles.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
9:47 am

@ third wheel, girl you shoulda “chunked da deuces” long ago. I had a similar situation about a year ago, tried to be understanding because buddy had been laid off but ummmmmmm he had to go

kimmie

January 28th, 2010
9:49 am

3rdWheel – Something about you & your story about this guy sound strangely familiar!! I believe you’ve mentioned this guy before – the thing about him being fat kinda stuck out.

I remember you! You say you’ve been with this guy for a year now. If memory serves me, things have not been too right from the jump with this guy. You were looking for reasons to hang in there and work on it with him back then. When you are truly fed up, you’ll know what to do. Nothing we can say will change your mind until then.

Start with working on yourself & being the best YOU. Stop referring to yourself as 3rd Wheel! When you begin to want better for yourself, you’ll be able to react quicker to all of these blazing red flags when they present themselves.

Good luck sister!

ThirdWheel

January 28th, 2010
9:50 am

Hi **Professor** Thanks for the advice! I know people can’t change over night but I was hoping that maybe he will stop leaving his underwear in the living room and start putting the toilet seat down so I won’t have to look at the crap stains on it. I thought maybe he would start putting out but none of that has happened. I am just tired.. I always thought when I had my first real relationship that the guy would be just like me. Clean, loving, educated and just an overall nice person. I got none of those. Granted I can’t put all the blame on him because I have my issues as well. I am working on mine though. He is not working on his. He won’t lose weight… even though he is a walking heart attack and then I think he has an online gambling problem. I am about to turn 30 and I can’t live like this anymore. I guess I would rather move back with my parents and suffer in silence. I wish someone wrote a manual about living with a guy for the first time….I don’t think he is seeing anyone else by the way because he is very lazy. He likes to watch movies all the time and eat. But I could be wrong…

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
9:51 am

An object tips when off balance. When you put more weight on side than the other it will tip over. There has to be a counter weight if you are going to have balance. When it’s all one sided it is going to eventually fall.

ThirdWheel

January 28th, 2010
9:51 am

Thanks for the advice Kimmie! Yep I am same person you remember from a year ago. I decided to stick it out and work on it. It was ok but then I lost my job three months ago and it just went downhill.I am back working now but things are different…

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
9:51 am

@ Raqui

AMEN! AMEN ! AMEN !

kimmie

January 28th, 2010
9:57 am

3rd – At the end of a blog day, one day about a week ago, Melo gave some great advice to single ladies about allowing a man to make his own way & letting them move in. I am going to search for that & post it when I find it. It sounded like some stuff my dad & uncles used to say to me.

It does not seem like you took into account the red flags before you moved in with him & started loaning him money. Of course he’s lazy, he has no incentive to be otherwise, especially if he has no ambition and self-motivation of his own.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
9:58 am

@ Third Wheel I feel for ya girl, I had the “let’s make it work” syndrome also. But it takes balance as Raqui so elegantly stated. I re-confirmed my no-cohabitation beliefs. I should have never compromised that one! When we parted ways he went back to live with a cousin and now there are like 6 people living in a double-wide and he is content cause he can spend all his dollars on fixing up junk cars instead of household bills. When i realized that he could be content living that way I KNEW THEN it would have never worked between us. Now that I have purchased a house he tries to come over and is always asking me if i cooked, WEll good buddy didn’t appreciate it the cooking while it was being offered to hime so don’t look for it now.

Sorry ya’ll flashback LOL

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

January 28th, 2010
10:02 am

@Professor Um…initially it was a love thang that held us together..young…growing & experiencing together. Naturally, being young we didn’t necessarily have our eyes on any real grown-up goals..we were having fun. We definitely had a bond because I guess of the time we spent together..so there in lies that big ole C word —> Comfort. As often as we broke up, took breaks, space etc…for one reason or the other always ended up back into our same ole groove. His goals remained the same which included having fun, no real life goals, friends, hanging out clubbing, women status quo. Nothing wrong with those things but there were no other meaningful ideals on his part to balance it out. No concept of setting foundation for legacy of the future according to ME. So my desire/want/need for more substance became more important to me to want to move on. A certain blog buddy told me this:

whatever he helped you though you should thank him and move on. You have more than satisfied any debt to him. 9 yrs and neither one of you have done a got dayumm thang. He is a mama’ s boy and he’s your emotional crutch. The past is the past. You nor him are the same people when yall first met. Your goals aren’ t the same. Y all don’ t want to live the same way. Learn to deal with each other without the emotional attachment. He is your best friend and you are his best friend. Now stop fugging each other so yall can go off and have kids that fugg each other

LMAO

For Real

January 28th, 2010
10:02 am

Dan: I know there are alot women like that but nothing will ever progress without first acknowledging YOU are 100% for every single thing that happens in YOUR life.

Raqi: Your 9:51 is on point but let me add “balance” does not equate to “equal”. “Balance” is dependent upon how strong the “Fulcrum” and in your case I you appear to have a strong one.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
10:03 am

i’m really good at ditchin’ a relationship. expert actually! last nov i met Marcus. i found out that he was the most selfish, stingy guy i’ve ever met.

the last straw was when we were suppose to spend some quality time and do the bowling thing. well, he told me that he didn’t want to go cause he didn’t make it to the bank. wth does that have to do with me? and on the same day when he called while i was xmas shopping for kel, he said *boo you didn’t ask me what i wanted for xmas!*

done! that was the last day i spoke to him. did the punk move and sent his as*s a text msg. lol. not one regret.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
10:04 am

Third – Get yourself together. Are you fat also? If so you cant trip on him if youre not in shape. Just work on getting yourself together because me reading you fro the beginning I have read self esteem issues with this chick.. Your self depricating tortured humor is not funny. Please understand you can be happy content and secure with yourself but it starts with you. Pick yourself up look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful.. Start right there and people will start to notice the change.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 28th, 2010
10:06 am

@INFAMOUS

“However I do know this.. When its time to go you will know. You will know.”

Good point. It’s funny because we all know the obvious reason’s when it’s time to go; she put her hands on you, she cursed your mom out, you saw her kiss another guy or switch numbers in your face, etc…

But what are some of the passive aggressive sign’s that it’s time to go?

I think the passive aggressive times that its time to go are when she is real combatitive and disrepectful. Once the respect is gone, it is gone so you have to check it. That’s the first sign and if it progresses past this, then it is on us if we are still staying.

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
10:06 am

Of course he’s lazy, he has no incentive to be otherwise, especially if he has no ambition and self-motivation of his own.

Cosign but also to add he didn’t have the impetus to get up,get out and get sumthing b/c he had/has YOU….so if he already has someone cleaning after him and giving him mone(among other things) then he’s thinking why change….change for what? You must know your self worth…cause you’re worth more Third. You can hear this all day long but until YOU internalize it,believe it and manifest it….it means nothing.

For Real

January 28th, 2010
10:07 am

Awww dayum I feel a Mary J. Blige song coming on……

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
10:08 am

PRINCESSNIK – Mechel’le …with the apostrophy L-E…does that qualify as bouge-ghetto? I can imagine her arguing people down about the way they spell it…in her high voice.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
10:09 am

and i didn’t give him a reason of our demise. he grown. he can figure it out on his own why he single.

czBrat... proud new grand-auntie!

January 28th, 2010
10:09 am

GM All!

my head rules by 52%, because this heart will get me in trouble. so true Professor i’ve not been the same since my divorce, and i’m afraid the s/o’s have had to deal with my being logical about relationships (more so than romantic). oh well. what keeps things from being stagnant is sharing. always sharing your thoughts and plans. knowing that, for the most part, the two of you remain on the same page and working together as a team toward whatever goals and aspirations you may have.

GladdToBeBad

January 28th, 2010
10:10 am

I knew it was over when I looked at her, planning to ask her to get me some juice but accidentally said “I don’t want to be married anymore.” I felt so horrible, I wanted to cry, but them my lovely wife said “Me either but I didn’t want to say it first so I could keep the house. How soon can you leave?”

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
10:11 am

I don’t think he is seeing anyone else by the way because he is very lazy
Whenever you come up with reasons why your guy isn’t cheating, that’s when he is. You think because you don’t want him, no one else will. If he’s not stroking you, he’s stroking someone. Believe it or not, there’s a chick out there who appreciates him exactly the way he is, good or bad.

kimmie

January 28th, 2010
10:11 am

3rd Wheel – Exerts from Melo, January 15 – Yeah, he does drop gems sometimes!

My only advice to chics, i dont care how much u luv him,dont let a dude come live in ur house/apartment or sign on his lease.Let his brother,his friends etc do that.Let him be a man and hustlke on his own without burdening u with his responsibilities be4 u are even married.

The moment u chics realize that,thats when ur men are gon to be real standup dudes!

That advice applies even if you don’t want to get married

YEP..IF u gon to be committed to him,he needs to think thru aome things in advance…credit,saving etc…coz he wants to have a gerl for keeps..

Let a man be a man and let him demonstrate that thru action rather than u bailing him out on tricky stuff!

My young cousin was jailed one time,back home over a thang he neva did.
we kept that on the low low and none in the fam got wind of it and we got himn out as boys.
Ur man must do likewise,wake up everday gon to work,food on the table,aprtment is looking good,his wheels are decent and there is food in the home and he asks u for nothing except to put some on the stove for him!

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
10:11 am

@ Luvbug i would def qualify that as bouge-ghetto, i think that was in the early stages of “created” names LOL

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
10:15 am

@thirdwheel
think of three reasons why you should stay. if you can’t come up with at least three, well . . .

a must for me: selfless, i’m #2 (only if he has kids), care about my happiness.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
10:17 am

@GladdToBeBad
dayum!

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
10:17 am

One time for Melo, January 15!

Ur man must do likewise,wake up everday gon to work,food on the table,aprtment is looking good,his wheels are decent and there is food in the home and he asks u for nothing except to put some on the stove for him!

I wholeheartedly agree with that, If he maintaining on his own, and i’m maintaining on my own…..should we decide to take the next step and get married it should technically be all good.

I will never ever let another dude that is not related to me move into my space nor will i move into theirs! NO DEAL, it only took me 3 months to realize i had been right all my few years of adulthood with the no-cohabitation rule.

czBrat... proud new grand-auntie!

January 28th, 2010
10:18 am

But what are some of the passive aggressive sign’s that it’s time to go? indifference.

For Real

January 28th, 2010
10:19 am

“i’m #2 (only if he has kids)” – What about God? His job? His mamma? You can’t be #1 or #2 everyday. It ain’t possible.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
10:20 am

Glad2 – That was funny

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
10:20 am

Awww dayum I feel a Mary J. Blige song coming on……

You sure do….ThirdWheel gurl when this is said and very much DONE you’ll be Just fine….fine…fine.

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
10:20 am

I knew it was over when I looked at her, planning to ask her to get me some juice but accidentally said “I don’t want to be married anymore.”

Now that’s coldblooded…also…just curious – is the GLADD in your moniker just a coincidence or the reason for the divorce?

Barack Obama

January 28th, 2010
10:21 am

I say that if things get stagnant, bring out the vibrator. That worked for Michelle and I.

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
10:21 am

@ThirdWheel ~ time to go find your true 4th Wheel. You don’t have a man so don’t fret too much over leaving. When a man is as insensitive as yours appear to be, that should be your fuel to get the heck out of dodge. Take your power back and do right by yourself!!

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
10:22 am

Take your power back and do right by yourself!!

Okay?!

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
10:22 am

@For Real
gotcha! and noted.

@Kimmie
you just described a Alpha Male. a must for me. a take charge kinda man! love it.

Professor

January 28th, 2010
10:22 am

@3rd Kimmie, Melo did drop a gem that day and it applies to this situation.

@SlimOne…thanks for sharing I feel you on that especially when you are young and in love, and start changing and growing. Your post hit home…I have an ex that always talks about “us.” I finally told him that I am not the same little girl he knew, but a grown azz woman with hopes and dreams. We are so far apart as it relates to life and goals…I would not have him now! BTW there is nothing wrong with him he is a cool dude, but he would be better off with someone else and so would I.

GladdToBeBad

January 28th, 2010
10:22 am

Yeah, that was a good broad, I miss her sometimes. Sho is lonely is this big a$$ house

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 28th, 2010
10:23 am

@3rd Wheel

“….I don’t think he is seeing anyone else by the way because he is very lazy. He likes to watch movies all the time and eat. But I could be wrong…”

Who knows 3rd. Alot of times people gravitate towards people like them good or bad. Maybe he is not seeing anybody or maybe he is just in a routine with you.

For Real

January 28th, 2010
10:23 am

Glad2 – Dayum!!! That’s some funny ish!!

Peace of Mine – (Marriage + House)/Divorce = Quit Claim

kimmy

January 28th, 2010
10:23 am

Hi,

The tipping point is if you continue to argue about the same thing over and over again. There will always hurdles the question is is it the same hurdle. If you argue about something important to you and there is no progress then maybe that person is not for you. It is okay to make reasonable sacrifices for the sake of your relationship, but everyone has things that are important to them and essential to a successful relationship so roll out if your needs are not being met and further more if your partner doesn’t seem to care. Wow….That opened a wound.

For Real

January 28th, 2010
10:25 am

Awww hell naw “KimWhy” and “KimEye”!!! Somebody do something!!

Dan

January 28th, 2010
10:27 am

Yeah 3rd wheel, the standard rule applies here:

“Men like sex”;

and if he isn’t getting it from you, he’s getting it from somewhere.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
10:28 am

@GladdToBeBad
ummm. question. whose house was it? both of yours? if yes, why in da heyo are you there? was this a mutual agreement?

*breath Beautiful*

Melo

January 28th, 2010
10:28 am

even when you have said that you aren’t “dating just to be dating

uall everywhere with the topic but that there is what WD is talking about..a relationship that aint going nowhere,not necesarily where u have arguments per se but the one like Slim’s maybe,where things may even be ok..but there is no progression..to the next logical step!

Good morning!

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
10:32 am

Yeah, that was a good broad, I miss her sometimes

Okay, I’m gonna assume coincidence unless you tell be otherwise.

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
10:32 am

ForReal, I agree but how is there balance if it’s not equal. The support or fulcrum can be strong as ever but if everything teeters to one side there is no balance. And for me equality in creating balance does not mean I cook one day and he cooks the next. Or I change the poopy diaper this morning and he changes it tonight. Or we both pay equal halves of the bills. Equality in creating our balance is seeing the needs and we both contributing according to our strong points. It’s equal when both are giving 100% in their strongest areas.

Now even in that, that’s where you better make sure before even getting into a relationship as what your needs are that you want the other person to fill and “value” that you put on it.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
10:33 am

Beauty – Why shouldnt he be there? The woman is just not entitled to the home.. Jesus!

kimmie

January 28th, 2010
10:34 am

But what are some of the passive aggressive sign’s that it’s time to go?

M dot – These are the ones that some folks have trouble recognizing, especially when you are “in it”. And they are the things that will drive you crazy too!LOL!! Have you trying to rationalize the unrationable – well maybe if I just hang in there, maybe he/she had a bad day, maybe he/she just needs a little push, he/she isn’t SO bad, etc!

Professor

January 28th, 2010
10:35 am

Hey czBrat! congrats on the new baby….

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
10:37 am

@DK
let’s say they both own the home. a man will leave and allow her to stay. that to me is a man. *shrug*

if you’re saying otherwise ———->

Dan

January 28th, 2010
10:41 am

@Angie

If it isn’t a community property state, he’s under no obligation to leave, neither is she.

At the end of a relationship, it’s not about ‘man’/'woman’ it’s about “mine” and “yours”; and may the best person win.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
10:41 am

*The woman is just not entitled to the home* and i didn’t say this. you’re a man, act like one!

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
10:43 am

@Dan
it’s obvious that you two miss my point. it has nothing to do with the law or court.

ThirdWheel

January 28th, 2010
10:44 am

I just want to thank everyone for their advice. It has really given me something to think about. As for the sex part he told me that sex was overrated and not the most important thing in the relationship. He calls me a horn dog…. So I don’t think he is getting it from somewhere else. Yes, I am fat but I am working on that issue as well. Also my cousin was telling me that since we live together and he makes the most money that he should be contributing more to the household until I get on my feet. What do you think about that? Right now everything is 50/50 and I am struggling…

Dan

January 28th, 2010
10:45 am

@Angie

I understand your point; I just don’t agree.

Unless their are children involved, no way I’m just giving up my home for some misguided notion of chilvary. At the point we decide we don’t want one another, I have no further ties (unless kids are involved).

Professor

January 28th, 2010
10:46 am

uall everywhere with the topic but that there is what WD is talking about..a relationship that aint going nowhere,not necesarily where u have arguments per se but the one like Slim’s maybe,where things may even be ok..but there is no progression..to the next logical step!

…now that is the truth…Slim did mention a relationship not going anywhere and I thing For Real may have asked a question or two to get things on track. I think most of us are trying to offer a little advice and kind words to third wheel, though.

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
10:46 am

@Raqi ~ I like words and had to look up fulcrum. Never heard of it. Tks.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
10:48 am

*As for the sex part he told me that sex was overrated and not the most important thing in the relationship*

yea, it’s time to bounce!

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
10:48 am

and now there are like 6 people living in a double-wide

Where are those rib sanmmiches WillieD? That is mos def a rib sandwhich moment.

hahahaha…oh naw!

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
10:50 am

For Real, Raqi Balance does not mean equality, it means equilibrium. Equilibrium depends on the center of mass of the fulcrum in relation to the torques (rotational forces) being applied. Equilibrium only means that one set of forces doesn’t overwhelm another set, not that they are equal.

Beautiful
If they bought the house together, then they should SELL it together.

czBrat... proud new grand-auntie!

January 28th, 2010
10:50 am

Thank you! Thank you! Professor. i couldn’t be any happier if it were my own grandchild :)

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
10:51 am

@3rd wheel Also my cousin was telling me that since we live together and he makes the most money that he should be contributing more to the household until I get on my feet. What do you think about that? Right now everything is 50/50 and I am struggling…

Suze Orman recommends that you add both incomes to deterimine the total household income, then determine what your percentage of the total household income is, if its 40% you pay 40% of the household bills.

Now don’t jump all over me this is not my idea, just passing on…….

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
10:51 am

@Dan
that is your wife! i hope you tell this to the chick you plan on marrying. sad.

so you will fight her over who stays. that’s a shame man.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
10:52 am

@Dream
yep! i agree. that’s what we did. in my situation, i agreed to leave.

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
10:53 am

Equilibrium only means that one set of forces doesn’t overwhelm another set, not that they are equal.

Cheers!!

Dan

January 28th, 2010
10:56 am

@Angie

Understand. I’m not saying she got to go that night.

Find a place and stay til you do. I’ll buy you out and go on with the go on. Or we can sell and split the profits (with the one making the least taking the lion’s share).

But there’s no way I walk away from an investment of that size for some notion of chilvary – that’s dumb on my part.

And yes, I do plan on telling her. Just after explaining that “til death do us part” means just that.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 28th, 2010
10:56 am

@kimmie

“Have you trying to rationalize the unrationable ”

That is so true. I was dating a woman who was frustrated with her career and every day it was an issue with her not being satisfied with where she is and I just felt like she would always try to take it out on me. You have to give them their space!

For Real

January 28th, 2010
10:56 am

Raqi: I think we are saying the same thing different ways but we as human cannot achieve perfection which is what “equal” is. 50/50, 100%, is not realist. Balance simple put mean you have not fallin off your fulcrum. Balance can be achieved at 73/30, 80/20, or even 98/2 it all depend on the strength of your fulcrum. Woman like this idea of equal when nothing in our life is “equal”. And exactly how long can any human sustain 100% output with all of the thing going on in our lives. You can’t give 100% to your husband, 100% to your child, 100% to your job or 100% to God all in one day let along a lifetime. So lets dispell the myth of “equal” cause it can only be reached for a monment but it just can’t be sustained. So whatever your balance is with your husband it ain’t 50/50 it’s probably more like 70/30.

GladdToBeBad

January 28th, 2010
10:57 am

@Luvbug

It was a typo and I just went with it.

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
10:58 am

Maybe the investment is upside down…in that situation a person would fight to not keep the house.

kimmie

January 28th, 2010
10:59 am

This discussion you guys are having over who gets the house, and I know Beautiful you say you are not talking legal or financial – but msn.com had an article on it’s front page yesterday. It said the one thing that divorcing couple are not fighting over anymore is – who gets the house. With home values dropping and people losing their jobs & not having the money to maintain it on their own, the fights over the house are dwindling.

Dan

January 28th, 2010
10:59 am

Equalibrium, equal, fulcrum, balance = reciprocity

jussayin

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
11:00 am

@Dan
i see you gon do you. selfish!

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
11:01 am

@ dan good summary, its all about reciprocity

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
11:01 am

gotcha Gladd…nothing wrong with GLADD, but I had to ask…this is Atlanta

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
11:01 am

@Kimmie
i’m talkin’ straight character.

GladToBeBad

January 28th, 2010
11:01 am

@PRINCESSNIK

I also watch me some Suze and yo right she say base it on the percentage you bring in…..HOWEVA…since he a man he needs to be paying for the roof! So he pay rent, maybe heat and gas or whatever the essentials and you pay stuff like food and cable or something. The man needst to provide the essentials and if he got a problem wit that thats the sign that you will not be his wife eve! cause a man won’t have a problem takin care of his wife/future wife that way. Don’t think yall gone split it 50/50 hen all of a sudden when you get married things gone change, heck no. its gonna be half and half the rest of your life, and he will neva take his rightful place as provider. Also know that Suze Orman is a lesbian so she may know whats fair but have no clue about gender roles.

For Real

January 28th, 2010
11:02 am

Dan: Reciprocity is subjective thus doesn’t equate to “equal” ie 50/50 which is the myth that women like to promote.

Beautiful: Why is selfish for the man to want the house but unselfish of the woman to want the house?

Melo

January 28th, 2010
11:02 am

Other than marriage,what are the other fulfilling options for u ladies?
Where else wld u want ur relationship to go if marriage is not one of ur desired options?

To answer the qstion,for those that are seeking marriage, i think you chics must have some sort of mental monitor/calendar.Ur relationship can vibe and be so very good but if u truly desire marriage with this guy,there shld be a time u must feel comfortable to ask him if he desires marriage…not too much pressing but just a lil nudging..
By doing that,u ensure that ur’e investing time in a project that has the potential to come to some frution. There after, all u have to do is maintain being best that u can be in the relationship so that the guy can see u in the same light and potential long term value to him.
If u are lucky to have met the right guy,there comes a time when his light bulb really lights up and tells him what he needs to do…
From WD asking of the qstion, i kinda see what she means,especially with u chics becoz some of u maybe doing everyting possible in ur relationship but for some reason,he is not expressing anything new to make butterflies in ur tummy. Thats where,logically and sometimes in anger,some chics will ask for a sit down…”can we talk?”

When u get to that point…the end is proly near….coz most guys dont want their chics to get ahead of them…..Soi it can be a dble edged sword.

For me personally,it helped that as I zoned in on Queen,my cousins and other relatives my age esp, wld pass on good comments..”dont sleep on her,this is the one etc” so I made the logical next step in confidence.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
11:03 am

@Glad 2 ……..like i said not my idea LOL I was just sharing AN idea

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
11:06 am

@ For Real: Why is selfish for the man to want the house but unselfish of the woman to want the house?

If children are involved, in most cases a real man would want to ensure that his children have a roof over their head.

However, If no children are involved i agree it could go either way.

GladToBeBad

January 28th, 2010
11:07 am

@ Beautiful ♥

It was OUR house, we bought it together while we were married, but as a man, yes, I felt like I should give her the house in a divorce. Not because of chivalry like some other dude said, but because I know my strength as a man and I will walk out into the storm before I send a lady out there. This was my wife, so if I can stop loving or caring about her like that then that says alot about what type of man and husband I was. But, luckily she passed away right before things was official so I got the house afterall. Its all to tha good

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
11:09 am

@ Glad2 But, luckily she passed away right before things was official so I got the house afterall

wow, LUCKILY……….

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
11:10 am

@For Real
my first question was regarding if the agreement was mutual. in my situation, i asked him to stay (since other bi*atches slept in my bed) and i left. that agreement was healthy for me and him.

if Dan’s wife asked if she could stay and he proceed to fight her on who is staying in the home . . . that’s not being the man i would WANT to deal with.

whether their selling or not.

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
11:12 am

oh! I have a “That’s what’s up”

I’d got home 1hr or so, later than my usual time and was TIRED from grocery shopping…then the savior came…my kid made use dinner last night – which consisted (for my dinner) 2 slices of smoked turkey deli meat, and approximately 15 weat thins. and a cold glass of water. offer to bake a frozen pizza if i was still hungry.

That’s what’s up!

Dan

January 28th, 2010
11:12 am

@For Real

I know that, thus my continued use of the word.

Life and relationships ain’t neva 50/50.

@Angie

I don’t deal with weak people in life. Coming into it she knows that separately we’re storm fronts and together, we’re a hurricane.

But when that ends, should it end, then we revert back to out individual identities.

For Real

January 28th, 2010
11:12 am

“If children are involved, in most cases a real man would want to ensure that his children have a roof over their head.” – You right a MAN (what’s up with the “real man” you either one or not) will take care of his kids but that’s not the only roof he can put over his kids head. A house is an investment plain and simple.

GladToBeBad

January 28th, 2010
11:13 am

@PRINCESSNIK

I meant lucky fo me

Dan

January 28th, 2010
11:15 am

@Angie; please read my 10:56am.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
11:15 am

@Glad
thanks for clearing that up. and sorry about you losing her.

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
11:15 am

@GladToBe ~ I wasn’t going to respond on this house topic but I like your post. My ex wouldn’t give me a divorce unless I agreed to sell the house. I pay the mortgage every month out of my check while he supposedly paid everything else. It was so important to his ego that not another man step foot in a house that had his name on it. WTF, are your kidding me. Anyway, I agreed to sell so I could get my divorce. Then, BAM, the housing market fell through the biggest crevice we’ve seen in a long time. Seems like he understands but gripes that he can’t move forward fast enough with his name on the mortgage and wants to know when I will sell. I’m not going to give my house away like it’s a prize in a cracker jack box.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
11:15 am

@ for real (what’s up with the “real man” you either one or not

a real man, not just a male who refers to himself as a man

czBrat... proud new grand-auntie!

January 28th, 2010
11:16 am

I know my strength as a man and I will walk out into the storm before I send a lady out there. i could be wrong, but i think some would consider that chivalry.

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
11:16 am

@Melo – 11:02 GOOD!

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
11:17 am

Beauty – Youre not talking about the law unless it benefits you.. Please stop talking about act like a man.. Act like a lady first.. Worry about you being a lady. Thats the funniest thing to me women alwas trying to tell a manhow to be a man but take offense when a man tries to tell yall how to be a lady.. So I wont tell you how to be lady and you dont tell me how to be a man.

For Real

January 28th, 2010
11:18 am

“if Dan’s wife asked if she could stay and he proceed to fight her on who is staying in the home . . . that’s not being the man i would WANT to deal with.” – Hence the reason for the divorce. I still don’t understand how giving you an investment makes me a man?

Why do women always seem to know what a man is or isn’t and know what a man should or shouldn’t do but always seem to choose dudes that aren’t men or simply can’t find one?

GladToBeBad

January 28th, 2010
11:19 am

@Leggs

Just wait awhile, maybe he’ll die before the market bounce back

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
11:19 am

So far, I’ve only left relationships for major issues – cheating, character differences, etc. Boring, stagnant, and sometimes annoying aren’t qualifiers for me (yet).

Off the top, one habit I cannot adjust to is constant lateness and/or being less than 98% dependable.

I’m getTING ANGRY JUST WRTING ABOUT IT. (The Hulk)…uh-oh there goes my sleeves, slacks and knee highs.

ThirdWheel

January 28th, 2010
11:19 am

I talked to him last night about the 50/50 and how he makes more money than me and maybe he should be paying more of the bills. He looked at me and said are you crazy?? We are not married!! It’s time for me to go…I think I know why his first wife left him now…. she made more money than him and she was taking care of him. She was fat as well. Then she lost weight and decided she could do better… I see this now…

Dan

January 28th, 2010
11:20 am

@Brat – it is; but misguided in my opinion.

@For Real

Me either (on both questions)

kimmie

January 28th, 2010
11:20 am

Melo – Like your 11:02

I’m not getting deep into this whole “balance” discussion, but I will mention something that I’ve heard several successful couples say. Folks like to quote that things should be 50/50 or each person should be giving 100% all the time. Neither are just not possible. There will be certain times where things will be 70/30, 10/90, 0/100, 60/40, etc. It will ebb and flow. Each side will put in the “extra”, so that things are 100. One person may be too tied up with a work project to give that 50% they usually give to chores around the home, so the other pitches in a little more during that time. One is ill and bedridden, so the other has to do everything. One loses their job in a 2-salary household, so the other has to hold it down for awhile.

That’s what a relationship should be – a partnership, have each other’s back. When one has to carry much of the load themself ALL THE TIME, that’s where the issues come in.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
11:20 am

@ glad2 I meant lucky fo me

that is no better it sounds like you didn’t care but i think i understand what you meant

GladToBeBad

January 28th, 2010
11:20 am

@ThirdWheel

When yo say she was fat as well do you mean fat as well as you or fat along with making more money than him? #imjustsayin

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
11:22 am

ForReal, I disagree. You can give 100% in many areas. Giving 100% is just fulfilling a promise or an obligation.

If I promise you I am going to empty your trash every day, “weather” permitting, and I do so, I am giving 100%.

If I agree with Dan that I will rake his yard every other day, weather permitting, and I do so, I am giving 100%.

And if I am obligated to Infamous to make him an egg sandwich every other Sunday afternoon, weather permitting, and I do so, I am giving 100%.

Fulfilling all of my promising and obligations as agreed is giving 100% of me.

GladToBeBad

January 28th, 2010
11:22 am

@ czBrat… proud new grand-auntie!

naw thats confidence as a man. If i put her out I would feel like less of a man to myself, I wasn’t worried about pleasing her. Chivalry is when you tryin to be nice to a woman but i was just makin sure I could still look at myself in a mirror without hearing my daddys voice but like I said it all worked out.

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
11:24 am

@Glad ~ literally laughed out loud!

@3Wheel ~ you already know what to do!

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
11:24 am

Wow – sorry for your loss Gladd.

ThirdWheel

January 28th, 2010
11:28 am

She was overweight but bringing home the most money too. I think she took care of him

GladToBeBad

January 28th, 2010
11:29 am

@Luvbug

what loss? I said I got to keep the house

2CPTG......"won't be ova til that big guhl from decatur sang!"

January 28th, 2010
11:29 am

’sup y’all…..interesting comments, thus far…..whens it over? when all y’all do is fvck and fight…

who gets the house? depends….shorties involved? then the noble thing would be to let her have it…..no shorties? now we got issues….Leggs, I can understand where your ex is comin from….hell, why is “new” dyck trynna reap the benefits of another man’s hard work? If he had his shyt together, you’d be moving in with him! Akin to what I said yesterday about these lame dyck ass men…..da hell is up with dudes movin in with females……get/have yo own shyt……A female cain’t neva tell me to “get out!”….all she can say is “go home”! Cause best believe I’mma have mine!

czBrat... proud new grand-auntie!

January 28th, 2010
11:30 am

kimmie luv that 11:20. that’s just truth … plain and simple.

kimmie

January 28th, 2010
11:35 am

2C – See my 10:11 – reposted some gems Melo dropped about dudes moving in with women.

Thanx czBrat, just call em like I see em. Anything else is okey-doke.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
11:37 am

@ 2CPTG “da hell is up with dudes movin in with females……get/have yo own shyt”

a question I ask all the time! now let me add to that:

“y u tryin to move outta yo mom’s crib and into mine”

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
11:37 am

This may be the coldest thing I’ve read in a while:

“The problems is three-fold. First, it takes my necessarily limited, and necessarily blinkered, experience with the fairer sex and builds it into a shibboleth of invented truth. Then it takes that invented truth as a fair standard by which I can measure one’s “woman-ness.” So if football and beer don’t fit into my standard, I stop seeing the person as a woman. Finally instead of admitting that my invented truth is the problem, I put the onus on the woman. Hence the claim “I forgot you were a woman,” as opposed to ‘I just realized my invented truth was wrong.’”

source: http://ta-nehisicoates.theatlantic.com/archives/2010/01/i_remembered_chris_matthews_was_white_tonight.php

For Real

January 28th, 2010
11:38 am

KimEye: That’s what I have been saying. 50/50, 100% are myths. I said this before but I will say it again. “The faster you can get a chick out of fantasy and into reality the better the relationship will be.” That’s seems like what those successful couple you mentioned did.

Bratz: In what context was that quote given?

Raqi: “Giving 100% is just fulfilling a promise or an obligation.” – That’s cute but not realist and overly simplist. 100% is not just a laundry list of “Things To Do”. If that was the case marriage wouldn’t be so much work. “Fulfilling a promise” only uses one aspect of your person as a whole (character). So you kept your promises now what about the other 37 things that life require of you? Again, perfection can be achieved every now and then for a short period but it cannot be sustained because none of us are perfect.

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
11:39 am

@2C ~ no hard work on this part…I pay the mortgage and have been for the past 10 years. He didn’t put in any hardwork in that house. I did. Well, pushing the lawn mower might be considered hardwork, not paying utilities might be considered hardwork. Hardwork is keeping foreclosure away from your front door while raising a child in an unhappy marriage. So, any new dyck would be reaping the benefits of my hard work in coming to my senses and divorcing!!

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
11:39 am

Beauty – Unfortunately when it comes to a divorce everyone takes a side and there is no such thing as playing nice in a contested divorce. Things such as property, assets, stocks and other investments become bargaining chips.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
11:39 am

@DK
how am i not acting like a lady? you just told me you would fight your wife over who stays. that’s not a good look homie. YOUR WIFE!

Dream_n

January 28th, 2010
11:41 am

Am i the only one cracking up at these embellished stories.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
11:44 am

@DK
not true. you only hear about the horror stories.

2CPTG......"won't be ova til that big guhl from decatur sang!"

January 28th, 2010
11:44 am

Kimmie, I read it…and it’s the truth….Princess, unfortunately, that’s the reality of these dudes nowadays……

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
11:45 am

Glad to sad just that quickly…you jokin right?!

Don’t answer. I won’t take no for an answer.

For Real

January 28th, 2010
11:46 am

Beautiful: “you just told me you would fight your wife over who stays. that’s not a good look homie. YOUR WIFE!” – If they divorce/divorcing how is she still his WIFE? Divorce means you don’t get the WIFE benefits NO-MO!

2CPTG......"won't be ova til that big guhl from decatur sang!"

January 28th, 2010
11:51 am

yeah, good you came to your senses, Leggs….

shiiid, a dude may as well get castrated when he moves in with a female……that’s her shyt, and she gon flaunt it when the situation arises…..recall what Sexy always say….she kicked him out…..

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
11:51 am

Beauty – You want the honest truth.. She’s no longer my concern any more hence the divorce.. If I cared about her well being I would still try and make the marriage work.. I figure she dont care about me so why should I care about her and her needs or place to stay. Let her new D1CK figure it out for her.. I was getting off he pot..

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
11:52 am

while @ work got a vm msg from one of the gurls from Vegas trip. we’re headin’ out to see one of our friends perform 2nite. so excited that we’re keeping our promise making our friendships a priority.

jus rec’d a text . . . now it’s four of us. :o )

Professor

January 28th, 2010
11:52 am

Leggs, I have seen a lot of men fight the women over the houses. How do you feel about this situation. A single woman that has her own home 6 years prior to meeting Mr.Husband that is a renter. Well when they get married he moves in with her and they stay their two years and sale the house. Now he wants to take the money or at least split it down the middle. How should the money be handled since he was not there those first 6 years and she had always planned to use that 25K for retirement and a nice vacation?

lurker

January 28th, 2010
11:53 am

Wow GLADTOBEBAD that was deep! Well, the first one was but for this –>But, luckily she passed away right before things was official so I got the house afterall. Its all to tha good…I’m speechless. Sorry for your loss. Are you sad/glad what? You don’t seem to broken about it.

I say reinvent the wheel. If that don’t rev or get things jiving again or after the novelty has worn off it’s time to go. That’s why there should be something substantiated and not just total bliss because when the smoke clears what’s left is all you have. If it’s something you’re good, it ain’t nothing left and it was only a smoke screen, cut your losses.

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
11:55 am

ForReal, you fulfilling your end of the responsibilities, promises and obligations is all one can and should ask. How much you go over and above that is added bonuses.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
11:55 am

@DK
i understand.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
11:56 am

Beauty – Now I let my wife have the home we lived in because I had other properties but make no mistake about it if that were the only home I invested in somebody wouldve had to buy somebody out. Then that being the only home my son knew played a factor.. Love hs nothing to do with an investment.

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
11:57 am

2CPTG, that’s why you make it both yours legally on paper. His and yours become ours after the nuptials.

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
12:00 pm

Correction: “…both of yours…”

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
12:00 pm

“y u tryin to move outta yo mom’s crib and into mine”

Never understood men like that….why wouldn’t you want your own isht? I’ve always had a problem with that and I know that’s one of the reasons I’ve never shacked up with a man.

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
12:05 pm

@DK
don’t get it mixed up now. if you and i were together right now and we both decided to end it. who would stay in the home until it sells or divorce is over?

this is the topic that i’m on.

and i say that a man should allow the woman to stay if that is her wish. don’t fight with her about you staying and her needing to find somewhere to go. da he*ll!

Melo

January 28th, 2010
12:06 pm

who gets the house? depends….shorties involved? then the noble thing is to leave it to her!

I agree 2CAN!

For Real

January 28th, 2010
12:10 pm

Professor: The money belongs to her 100%. The house was pre-marital property unless she added his name to deed or loan (quit claim). If that’s the case then he is entitled to 50% of the proceeds.

DK: Now that’s the absolute truth. I don’t love you no-mo and you don’t love me no-mo = strickly business

Raqi: “ForReal, you fulfilling your end of the responsibilities, promises and obligations is all one can and should ask. How much you go over and above that is added bonuses.” – You just proved my point, responsibilities and obligations do not equal 100% because you can give “over and above that as an added bonuse”. Your Honor I’m done with this witness. You may step down.

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
12:11 pm

You lose all husband priveleges once the divorce takes place. Protector, provider, sacrifice, going through the fire…all terminated. Just like I don’t expect any of the wife priveleges. We’re both on our own at that point.

About these dudes moving in. I have zero tolerance for boys in grown bodies. Most of those dudes grew up having people and society making excuses for them, crippling them. “Oh he was poor”, “You know his daddy wasn’t around”, “He’s all I got”. So, they grow up and people make the same excuses for them as adults. “Look at how he grew up”, “His momma spoiled him”, “It’s hard out here”, “He got issues”, “He really is a good person”, “He really is trying”, “He just needs someone to believe in him”. All garbage, just enabling the behavior. Grown men acting like babies. Beating on his woman ain’t nothing but a temper tantrum. Quitting his job is just the grown-up equivalent of pouting ’cause you had to do your chores. Not paying child support ain’t nothing but taking your basketball home so no one else can benefit from playing. Throw these these little boys in the pool and make their a#%es swim. Time to take off the floaties and become a man.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
12:11 pm

Whaddup ya’ll!

Sassy – I am co-signing your 12pm chica!

Dudes should never move in with a chick (not long term), its bound to be an issue at some point. However it happens everyday, SIGH. (Been there, done that…got a t-shirt and a divorce to show for it. )

For Real

January 28th, 2010
12:11 pm

“Never understood men like that” – Or women like that… I need to know you have some experience taking care of yourself so you will not be looking at me to take care you like your daddy did. Cause you ain’t my daughter you my wife.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
12:13 pm

Beauty – Actually if kids were involved we would be up in that thang together because who ever leaves determines custody. The child is accustomed to the home. You could go but the child wouldnt be going anywhere.

Melo

January 28th, 2010
12:13 pm

that a man should allow the woman to stay

IF its jus entitlement u talking about then HELL NO..u not entitled…esp if there are no children involved…we split it 50/50 and might even live tgether untill its sold..belongs to us both…

Now if there are kids,then its gentlemanly for the guy to leave so the kids are protected from all the drama.

Quit that mentality Angie!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
12:13 pm

Dreams – on that 12:11…..Well dayum, there it is then!!! I agree!!

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
12:14 pm

i’m wonderin’ what ya daddy would say about this? hmmmm

lurker

January 28th, 2010
12:16 pm

Wow DreamsMaterialize – great post – I agree

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
12:16 pm

@DK
awwww. i like that. ^5

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
12:17 pm

@Prof ~ knowing me, I wouldn’t split it 50/50. She has 6 years of equity in that home prior to him coming on the scene. I say this cuz I don’t have the heart that speaks “we,” “us.” If and when I sell my house I will reluctantly give him some. It won’t be 50/50. It just won’t be. His income helped qualify for the home, but that’s where it stopped. Once in the home, I had to do it all in order to keep it above our heads. So, as far as I’m concerned all the equity is mine. But, the law speaks a different language!

depends….shorties involved? then the noble thing is to leave it to her! So many think differently! I’ve heard horror stories.

Professor

January 28th, 2010
12:17 pm

@For Real his name was never added to the house, but he is saying during those two years when she went from have a $1400 overhead to a $700 overhead (he paid 1/2)…he is due the money or at least 50%.

This happened a before the market crashed. He even said he was not going to move in the new house until he knew he was getting some of that check. Dude was talking about leaving. I always think about that mess…probably because I am a single woman and I do own some property.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
12:17 pm

Mo – Dudes should never move in with their chick period.

Now you on the other hand can move in with me.. I like dinner around 6 or 6:30..

For Real

January 28th, 2010
12:19 pm

DM: Those type of dudes sound like chicks. Ain’t nothing ever their fault. Funny thing tho chicks are drawn to these type dudes which explains why they are such experts in knowing what a man ain’t but have no clue what a man is.

Melo

January 28th, 2010
12:19 pm

i’m wonderin’ what ya daddy would say about this?

why do u think a woman shld be the one to stay in the house..whats ur reasoning Angie?

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
12:21 pm

Me personally would rather go stay in one of my patnas basements before I move in with my girl.. I just couldnt take the “This is My House” comment one day cause you would surely hear it..

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
12:23 pm

@Professor ~ he’s an opportunist and love doesn’t speak that language. His name isn’t on the mortgage, with him talking like that he can bounce.

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
12:24 pm

I feel what you’re saying in that 12:11 b/c there are some spoiled daddy’s girls out there. Waaay before my parents divorced my mom stressed the importance of being self sufficient…my sperm donor on the other hand, well that’s another story cause dude was/is a severe mama’s boy.

Mo, that’s what’s up. One of my gfs that I’ve talked about on here a time or two did the same thing ~8yrs ago with a dude that’s at least 10yrs her junior. They met in July and she was preggers be August and they were living together shortly after that….in her house. This boy had just gotten out of jail and was still living at home when they met and for some reason she thought he would man up once he moved in with her…NOT. I’m on the side thinking he’s got two mamas..the one that burfed him and her. Needless to say they broke up and this fool is still in and out of jail….chile pleaze :evil:

lurker

January 28th, 2010
12:25 pm

Funny thing tho chicks are drawn to these type dudes which explains why they are such experts in knowing what a man ain’t but have no clue what a man is.

Well, there you have it…SMH

For Real

January 28th, 2010
12:27 pm

Professor: “she went from have a $1400 overhead to a $700 overhead (he paid 1/2)…he is due the money or at least 50%.” – If he can prove he directly invested in the property then he is entitled to a ROI but not 50%. I see alot women are not starting be in the position men have been in forever when it comes to assets gained prior to marriage. It feels like that person is only there for your ish when they (she) make demands to have her name placed on your ish. My suggestion to you is to keep your pre-marriage assets separate in a Trust Fund with you as the overseer. That way if anything happens he can’t touch it and you will always have access to it. And trust me it works. Thank you Paw-Paw!!!

Beautiful ♥

January 28th, 2010
12:31 pm

@DK
you got the guest room! lmbo.

lurker

January 28th, 2010
12:32 pm

dudes laying up on chicks are leeches

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
12:32 pm

DK – you are right, a dude should never move in with a chick. Dudes that do, its something missing there (maturity, responsibility, drive, motivation…somthing)

Leggs – Ive heard some horror stories too, people dont think the same on that house issue

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
12:33 pm

On the other hand at a certain age A Dude shouldnt have a room mate. If he cant maintain shelter then something is wrong. Maybe he has to downsize from the Mc Mansion to the Partment in the hood with the stick up against the door but a dude should always keep a roof over his head.

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
12:35 pm

I always think about that mess…probably because I am a single woman and I do own some property.

I’m with you Professor..I’ve met a few men who,once learing I have a house,car,career and NO kids like literally/instantly talk about tryna move in or all of a sudden they want to get all super serious,super quick and that is soo not my style.

he’s an opportunist and love doesn’t speak that language.

Gone ‘head and call a spade a spade.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
12:41 pm

@ For Real : I need to know you have some experience taking care of yourself so you will not be looking at me to take care you like your daddy did. Cause you ain’t my daughter you my wife.

Same thought here except I’m not your momma!

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
12:42 pm

What’s the topic now? They got me on the grind today. I’ve been craving a bag of Fritos and I can’t even escape long enough to get it.

Someone please give me a round up…

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
12:43 pm

Funny thing tho chicks are drawn to these type dudes
I know. Usually, it’s chicks who have been enabling them to act like this all their lives. And NO I’m not saying that it’s the woman’s fault that dudes act like this. (have to put the disclaimer out there for those who will immediately and falsely draw that conclusion) Once you’re grown, you are 100% responsible for your life. It’s up to you to honestly assess how your past has helped/hurt you and make the appropriate adjustments.

For Real

January 28th, 2010
12:43 pm

“dudes laying up on chicks are leeches” – Don’t give leeches a bad name. At least leeches have some medicinal use. What good is a dude that lays up on a chick?

Heading lernch!!! Cee meet me at Chow Baby!!!!

?????

January 28th, 2010
12:44 pm

..I’ve met a few men who,once learing I have a house,car,career and NO kids like literally/instantly talk about tryna move in or all of a sudden they want to get all super serious,super quick and that is soo not my style.

just an mmm mmm mmm for this

lurker

January 28th, 2010
12:47 pm

Don’t give leeches a bad name. At least leeches have some medicinal use.

True, so true

Melo

January 28th, 2010
12:47 pm

Maybe he has to downsize from the Mc Mansion to the Partment in the hood with the stick up against the door but a dude

Actually this is a good time to buy a spare crib..houses are selling for a song in the A..like 20k or sme like that…

When u a 65 old and creaky, and all the women in ur lyfe are gon, a 25k 3 roomed crib wont look so bad in da hood.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
12:49 pm

Ok to quote CEE i have a that’s whats up!

My daughters father agreed to paint my garage for the mere cost of one homemade roasted lemon pepper chicken.

now that’s whats up!!!!

Raqi

January 28th, 2010
12:53 pm

Okay leeches and guys wanting to move in, I think I can update on imagination alone.

Ummmmmm!

January 28th, 2010
12:54 pm

Since this is the liberating age, why is it o.k. for a woman to move in with a man, but not a man moving in with a woman. So all men who move in with a women is lazy and lacks motivations huh! Wow what a statement!

A lot of judging going on in this camp! Raqi during chores has nada to do with equal effort!

Desperate times = desperate measures… Hence men and women living together because its tight out here!
Keeepppp Dropping FOR REAL….The truth will help some of these knuckleheads out here!

Snoop Dogg

January 28th, 2010
12:57 pm

somebody is da bombdiggity. house, car, career and make more den 60 gggs a year? da bombdiggity

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
1:06 pm

Princess…that’s what’s up :)

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
1:08 pm

We are all da bombdiggity one way or another.

Snoop Dogg

January 28th, 2010
1:13 pm

We are all da bombdiggity one way or another.

fa shizzle. eveybody got a crib, job and career. we all da bombdiggity.

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
1:20 pm

Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me….

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
1:25 pm

Pick up on this….awwww push it!

Owww baby, salt n pepa’s here…….wait a min this dance is only for the sexy people…..get up there and dance!

Professor~the jury

January 28th, 2010
1:25 pm

Melo,

What do you know about a stick up against the door?

Professor

January 28th, 2010
1:31 pm

Awww watch me do my dance on push it. Can y’all see me? Okay let me do it a little harder….that is may jam!

Now I am making my face…you know that ugly face you make when you are dancing hard…

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
1:32 pm

@Melo

There not that low…at least not requiring major repair.

Average is $50-$100 (+ taxes) foreclosed

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
1:33 pm

Princess Now dat’s your baby daddy?! cool.

ForReal couldn’t meet you at Chow’s…

stirfry sounds good and easy for dinner though.

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
1:35 pm

Man…just caught the song on the end. (awww push it…awww push it)

That’s right on time. I heard supersonic not too long ago on comcast.

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
1:35 pm

Missy Elliott and Ciara – “Work” song had me geeked-up, at lunch fa real!!!

Tazzee - still praying for Haiti

January 28th, 2010
1:37 pm

Afternoon Folks!

Leggs and Professor – either of you going to the Fresh Fest? I’m going to be a dancing fool at that concert – hope the folks behind me are the type that like to stand up.

On the house thing – it tickles me when I hear about a relationship on the rocks and the wife tells the husband to get out. In most cases, the man is the one paying the bills – I don’t understand it.

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
1:39 pm

Taxicab confessions: Yes, Luvbug had stacks – riding boots – hoop earings – and ….dun,dun,dun,dunnnn…a jery curl

DON”T JUDGE ME!!!

Melo

January 28th, 2010
1:40 pm

What do you know about a stick up against the door?

@Proff??!

stick up against the door??

well thats another lingo but i took it to mean that the door dont have a proper or good key or latch that can be locked,so u put a piece of wood or sme against it,say at night, so the door can remain shut….

(altho Trey Wingo can always knock it with a zebra kick if u aint answering his calling and hes following up on that debt u owe him!) :lol:

I grew up cntry and in da hood so i think i know dat!

Am, i right tho Proff??

Professor

January 28th, 2010
1:40 pm

Hey Tazzee I am not going to the Fresh Fest. I am still trying to be young and that will tell my age if I get caught going.

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
1:41 pm

@Tazee ~ I tried to win tickets twice…10th caller once and again 12th caller while they were looking for the 14th caller.

Professor

January 28th, 2010
1:42 pm

Melo you are right…it just took me back when you said it!

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
1:43 pm

Luv – I spit my coffee out at the Jheri Curl.. I know that was a sight to see. The only reason I didnt have a dreasy Micheal Jackson is because my Moms wasnt having it.. Especially since my older sister just went out and just got one.. Moms was hot.

Melo

January 28th, 2010
1:44 pm

Average is $50-$100 (+ taxes) foreclosed

@DAN..

IN SW Atlanta?

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
1:45 pm

Prof – Check out DK at 12:33. Melo out here byting without giving proper writing credit..

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
1:46 pm

Yeah DK- I too was just letting my soul glow….Now? All pictures confiscated.

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
1:50 pm

I need to take myself to the Fresh Fest. Let me look up the cost of tickets

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
1:51 pm

Confession: I had a shag…and a tail.

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
1:52 pm

NOT THE TAIL!!!

Melo

January 28th, 2010
1:52 pm

DK said it Proff..

i like how uall folks say some things and some aspects of ur daily living in ur lingo..it brings me back home,when i think about it..

I cant wait to go on some trip to the carribean to see some of my homies there,raw..im sure we will pick up some thangs/culture that came str8 up from zululand and is unadulterated.
We got got news today that Queen’s green card has been processed and is on its way,so we all very excited….and cant wzait to travel.

Somebody is swallowing, taaaatataaa, tonite! :lol:

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
1:54 pm

DK – Not sure if you’re from Atlanta…you’ll never guess looking at me, but I use to be in a dance group that did talents shows too

YEEK!!

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
1:55 pm

it tickles me when I hear about a relationship on the rocks and the wife tells the husband to get out. In most cases, the man is the one paying the bills

Tazzee – Right. When i shacked up, we moved in together. He paid all the house bills, i paid the electric and that was it….oh, and grocery. that was also when i was Dream_n’s age…EARLY 20s. Even then being a young guy, he never thought to say that the place was his, even though he could have…he was paying for the place! When we had a big argument he’d leave and go stay at a friends spot…along with hittin’ up the BodyTap, Magic, and a few other places…but, I never was the “get out” trick. Bills always paid and my own independence lead me to leave him…getting out was my choice.

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
1:58 pm

@Melo

I’m talking courthouse steps sales; and all over

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
1:59 pm

Luvbug – LMAO!! I know about dat YEEK shawty!! Too funny!

Dreams – not the shag AND the tail!!! OMG!!!!

Unfortunately my father didnt let me rock the ‘latest and greatest’ back in the day (no finger waves, etc) but I still had some wild hair choices. Now college was altogether different….SCISSOR HAPPY!!!

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
1:59 pm

Luv – What you talkin bout.. This my pinky this my thumb…

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:01 pm

@Melo – I understand the “man law” moving in concept too…but i was not going to move into his Condo either. So, like i said…we can get an “us”..but not moving in “yours”.

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:03 pm

Mo – they are called “fanga waves”. lol :) I learn how to do those in the 6th Grade.

Melo

January 28th, 2010
2:04 pm

I’m talking courthouse steps sales; and all over

@Dan..u saying as low as 50.00$ not 50k?

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
2:06 pm

Cemeeli – LOL! I forgot, my Decatur got away for a moment! It is Fanga Waves, :smile:

I rocked so many different hair colors once I went AWAY to school….my father was like “dayum, I never know who I may pick up from the airport!” LOL

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
2:06 pm

Hey now DK had some push waves and a big worm perm. Awww man I thought I was killing em with my Shirley temple curls or the rollers, the guess jean, guess sweatshirt and the jacket with the ostrich or snakeskin boots. Oh and dont forget the super thick herringbone..

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
2:08 pm

Mo/DK – that’s funny…look at me now…you could have a million guesses and never land on that one…straight Mary Poppins…not made up…just grew in that direction.

I do miss the energy and how life felt at that time though

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
2:08 pm

I hated the herringbone

One false move…and it was ruined

@DK

So you were straight outta Locash huh?

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
2:09 pm

The herringbone too?! Don’t kill em DK!!…man, memories memories

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
2:09 pm

Awww you shouldve saw me a 112(on Piedmont) 1 Tweezy up by rooms to go.. I was killin em. Russell at Mouchez(sp) use to set me straight..

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:09 pm

Mo I was like “finger waves??”…get bourgeois on ya girl then!…lol

‘member popcorn waves?

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
2:10 pm

Beating on the lunchroom tables

Yeek

Instant dance offs

Yeek

Rap battles that ended when the bell rang

Yeek

and the invention (at Harper High School) of the “Bankhead Bounce”

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
2:14 pm

Cemeeli – most girl’s popcorn waves looked just like popcorn too…straight crusty. Those required a special skill/stylist.

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
2:14 pm

@Melo

Yes, $50-$100K

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
2:15 pm

DK – NOT THE HERRINGBONE!! OMG!! ROTFLMAO @ the Big Worm Perm… :shock:

Cemeeli – yep, popcorn waves…..the memories!

czBrat... proud new grand-auntie!

January 28th, 2010
2:19 pm

ya’ll are funny. got me picturing a bunch of random faces in those ‘yearbook yourself’ pics on facebook. :lol: :lol:

Dream_n

January 28th, 2010
2:19 pm

What the he!! did I just walk into. Confessions of 1960/70 babies…

LMAO

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
2:20 pm

Awww Ya’ll better know it.. My whole dope boy crew had perms. We would make sure we had that bounce to them curls.. Wow! That ish is funny as I sit here and type it.. DJ Quik didnt have nothing on me..

Cee – You remember when your Rocky Ford Homies had the perms..

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:21 pm

Luvbug – You tombout my Auntie ‘nem popcorn waves and all that black gel i put on their heads to make it stay “tight” longer? and crusty….hahahaha…lol :)

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:23 pm

@ Infamous – Stop! Do you remember the Players Balls?

oh, and i had me a fat FAT herringbone to go with my anklet …yep, it was a set. I had a rope set too.

Boy, you better gone….

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
2:23 pm

I always wanted a herringbone, but they did kink up quickly.

112 was the joint back in the date…sorry, we’re talking an entire different generation of folk. I almost forgot!

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
2:23 pm

Then go switch it up and get Lo’d out and put the Olo hat on over the big curls with the Polo Jacket, shoes, shirts and the whole nine..

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

January 28th, 2010
2:24 pm

Slim walking in with the big Gemini gold earings, fanga waves, and blue jean shirt with the Pleather patches in front….All i wanna do is zooma zoom zoom in a boom boom, just shake ya rump!

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:24 pm

The lil Korean lady said he already took care of my tab. I would just walk up to the glass counter and pick out what i wanted.

that was not good….

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
2:24 pm

There’s a white girl in town…name is cocaine…get inside yo brain…PLAY YOU LIKE UH LAME!!

Long Scratchin…(slow down…song change)

Dun da da da Dun da da da…my mine playin tricks on me

Dream_n

January 28th, 2010
2:25 pm

@ Luvbug

I was scared of that song/video.. My dad used to play that.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
2:25 pm

Playas Balls!!! WOOOOOOW! Now that brought back some memories! Right up there with the good ole days of Freaknic (before it went haywire).

High School talent shows…..lol

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
2:27 pm

Yeah Players Balls were they the best thang going sinc Pimpin and O’in..

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:27 pm

@ Luvbug – i see you tryna get these folks going. lol Kilo,…wow!

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
2:29 pm

Freaknic….woooooowwww (best thing EVER)

@Slim

We are reminiscing, why are you describing your outfit for today? We talking comin up days…

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
2:29 pm

str8 afternoon party huh folks….lmao @ the back in da day stuff…

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
2:29 pm

Playas Balls!!! WOOOOOOW! Now that brought back some memories!

I went to college in SC and we always came back for Playa’s Ball!

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
2:30 pm

I remember the club 559 when I was in college in sc to visit the A was big time fo me lololol

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:31 pm

Freaknic was crazy…up there with Daytona Beach.

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
2:31 pm

Luvbug tryin to get somebody hurt

You’ll tear a muscle if the DJ went from “Cocaine” to “My mind playin tricks on me”..

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
2:32 pm

Does anybody remember Orange Crush?

Dream_n

January 28th, 2010
2:32 pm

I know I’m going to regret asking this question…

Please inform me of what the “Playas Ball” consisted of??? Did you win a cup or something afterwards??

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:32 pm

@ LadyJ – Do you remember the biiig guy that owned Club 559? He’s still around, and still THE same.

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
2:32 pm

Dan – you right

Mo- didn’t Atlanta Live air on channel 69 or something too?

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
2:33 pm

Lady J – my spot was Atlanta Live!! LOL! And I who didnt hit 112!

Now back in the day…..Sharon Showcase……Club XS……. :shock:

Dream_n

January 28th, 2010
2:33 pm

@ PRINCESSNIK

Soda?

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:33 pm

Princess – You betnot be a former Tiger, up in here?

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
2:33 pm

@ DreamN Please inform me of what the “Playas Ball” consisted of??? Did you win a cup or something afterwards??

The Playa’s Ball I recall was like freaknic except it was in Statesboro.

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:34 pm

@ Dan – OrangeCrush is Savannah’s version of Freaknic…’cept there’s a Beach.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
2:34 pm

@ CEE I am a former tiger but not Savannah State, Benedict College in Columbia SC. But we had friends at Sav. State

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
2:34 pm

When I got here we went to a club called Babe’s off Candler Road, and on Wednesdays, Buster’s right across from So. DeKalb Mall, 112, but of course Mr. Vee’s was the spot. If you wanted to really get your “bumpkin” on Sansuchi (sp?) was the spot. Haaaaa, I’ll never forget the sawdust floor.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
2:35 pm

Nik – Orange Crush in Savannah

Melo

January 28th, 2010
2:36 pm

Do you remember the biiig guy that owned Club 559?
@CEE

Thats a hood club, right,on the west side..??

I passed thru there back then..1997,if thats it

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

January 28th, 2010
2:36 pm

@Dan OH SNAP, You tryin to jone on me? You betta talk to da hand fo i stomp you with my Hi-Tech Boots and my Cross Colors Hoodie on :shock:

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
2:37 pm

I’m sorry

I’ve done Daytona, The Kappa beach party at FAMU and in Galveston and none of ‘em beat ‘95 Freaknic.

NOT ONE.

@Luvbug

Atlanta Live…..wooooowwww

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
2:37 pm

Mo – Atlanta Live was when Atlanta was live

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
2:38 pm

Dan – I never went…wasn’t it (Atlanta Live) on tv or something?

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:38 pm

@Princess – Benedict? oh, okay. You came and hollered at us country Savannah State folks, hunh?

Melo

January 28th, 2010
2:39 pm

Bil Campbell killed freakyneeky and Shirley broght the recession!

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
2:39 pm

@ DK Nik – Orange Crush in Savannah

yep!

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
2:39 pm

cee cee I do girl those were the days 1999 was all that Daytona I only did once and prayed to my father if he got me back sober I would never drink brown liquor again….I don’t drink it any more my first time introduced to crown str8….in 100 degree weather….whew back in the day!!!!!

Mo I wished I could have frequent those spots back then….lol

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

January 28th, 2010
2:40 pm

czBrat... proud new grand-auntie!

January 28th, 2010
2:40 pm

omg Leggs. how long have you been here?

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
2:41 pm

Hi-Tech Boots…Das Efx?!

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:42 pm

@Melo – It still there as in the structure,…yeah that one. Right the westside.

ummmm, you have “business” over there? My in-law did at one point.

Luvbug

January 28th, 2010
2:42 pm

Dang…just remembered…Black Moon…Don’t front you know I gotcha open

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
2:43 pm

@ CEE: Benedict? oh, okay. You came and hollered at us country Savannah State folks, hunh?

Yea BC is an HBCU also, right across the street from Allen University and down the block from Univ of S.C. We made our rounds around the local HBCU circuit LOL

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
2:43 pm

Dan – cosigning that about Freaknic ‘95 (hell ‘94 too). I did the VA Beach Greek Parties and the one in Philly. Still nothing on Freaknic ‘95

Infamous – I was a regular at Atlanta Live when I was home! LOL

Lady J – I did Daytona too and I made it through sober. I cant say the same for the HU vs HU game (Howard vs Hampton), NC A&T’s homecoming and a few other road trips. LMAO! WHEW!

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
2:44 pm

@PRINCESSNIK I am a proud SCSU Bulldog Alumni!!!!!!:)

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
2:44 pm

Lol, a long time! Went to Atlanta Live. I remember “Lite Up Atlanta” where throngs and throngs of folk were in the streets. Didn’t know Altanta had it in them. We had fun.

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:44 pm

@LadyJ – yeah I was, and will always be a lame. Daytona was my very first tipsy, i think. Well my girls got wine coolers and boones farm…and we drinking like we some debutantes.

funny now. One of my homegirls we called her waht the kids call “Oreos” nowadays…she to this day is still like that. So whiteboy silly, and she still smokes…I think it was from her working in Spencers during those days. lol

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
2:45 pm

@ Lady J, I had some good times at SCSU also, and Clafflin too

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
2:45 pm

@Luvbug

I think so, late Saturday night. All you could see was the lights flashing and maybe a few folks got interviewed.

While Atlanta Live was straight, the 112 (off Old NatL) was the best.

@Slim

Watchoutshawty

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
2:47 pm

cee cee I promise it was my first time drunk and i thought they would have to call my mom bc i wouldn’t stop throwing up but I recovered….lol and NEVER went back LAME is an understatement I do regret never just seeing what freaknic was about….lol but the stories and being from sc by myrtle beach it reminds me of bike week….

yes PRINCESSNIK SCSU has great memories all the way around….my best days of my life were in college!!!!

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
2:48 pm

Awwwww shooot, ya’ll talkin’ ’bout the real A. 559 was off the chains. Or Club Illusions on campbellton rd., mardi gras at fat tuesdays in the underground., Nikki’s VIP on stewart, when lenox mall had a movie theatre

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
2:50 pm

Dreams Mat – I’ll take you back a lil further.. Purple Onion on Stewart..

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

January 28th, 2010
2:50 pm

Mirror mirror on the wall
Tell me mirror what is wrong?
Can it be my DeLA clothes
Or is it just my Dela Soul
What I do ain’t make believe
People say I sit and try
But when it comes to being Dela
Its just me, myself and I

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
2:51 pm

DreamsM in the 559 was my first time seeing a star up close Da Brat of course was holding it down!!!!!! LOL

Willie Dynamite

January 28th, 2010
2:51 pm

Afternoon All,

Dayum did I walk into Throwback Thursday or what. Alright just for today going for the low I got 2 vintage 95 freaknic T-shirts. who want 1?

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:52 pm

mardi gras at fat tuesdays in the underground – Oh yeah. and Hooters.

@ LadyJ – I thank GOD he watched over our silliness then, and now. I just never like the way that felt…I feel you.

@ BikeWeek – Very cool. I don’t remember why we went though. Lots of jsut riding around.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
2:52 pm

Dreams – Fat Tuesdays on piedmont as well! And I totally for that Lenox did have a movie theater!

Melo

January 28th, 2010
2:53 pm

ummmm, you have “business” over there?

CEE..one of my home boys was married to this fat afr/american chic back in the day and they lived on Martin luther kind dr, ova there on the west side…told me 559 was off da meter…

I know Ritz on old nat hwy was popping some time back in da day,dont know ’bout now…

112 on cheshire

atlanta live on piedmont

I used to go to glenridge at that hood club but one time,smebody almost popped their gun,while having an argument,when we were in line to get in and we ran for cover ….

I neva went to a hood club after that,till now.
I remember meeting Monica back there in the hood on time.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
2:53 pm

@ Lady J ….my best days of my life were in college!!!!

being from sc by myrtle beach it reminds me of bike week….

Yes Lawd! Going “away” to school was the best decision i could have made. I grew up 15 minutes from FVSU and am so glad i chose to attend elsewhere. Bike Week, i don’t even have to say anything you already know!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
2:54 pm

meant forgot that Lenox has a movie theater!

And I never went INSIDE of 559. I couldnt see enough entrances and exits so I stayed in the parking lot…..til a guy got pissed that I wouldnt give him my number and threw his drink at me (yes threw his drink at me…my 2nd and last time at the fi-fi-ni)

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
2:54 pm

Wait, y’all were in college….dag I’m young…

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:56 pm

@ WillieD – You got any rib sandwhiches to throw in the back seat of the bowling ball purple Cutlass you rollin in over there? lol

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
2:56 pm

Not the Purple Onion! Freaknic, Daytona, Myrtle Beach Bike Week, NC A&T homecoming, Playas Ball, Virginia Beach, I even did Freezenik Ski weekend in Gatlinburg…WHAT!

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
2:56 pm

Dan where you in middle school?

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
2:57 pm

mo don’t act I had a GREAT time in the 559 and ain’t nobody bother us!!!!! LOL!!!!!

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
2:57 pm

Princess

High Schoolish

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
2:57 pm

@ Dan now i was in h.s. in 95……..don’t age me LOL

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
2:57 pm

Mo – Im throwing my drink at you cause all my requests/come ons have been ignored.

Dream_n

January 28th, 2010
2:57 pm

@ Willie D

I’on know what the “freaknic” was about… and judging by the name I can only imagine.
But how much them t-shirts going for??

@ Dan.. Sorry bruh you are not young. :lol:

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
2:57 pm

LMBAO I thought he said he was 30 one time PRINCESSNIK so he would have been in college too….lmao @ you PRINCESSNIK

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
2:58 pm

high school ish, would that be 8th grade

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
2:59 pm

@ Melo – Yeah, you beeeen an ATLien for a minute.

The woooorsstest hood spot me and a friend ever spent the worst 5 minutes of our life was at SpeakEazy. Her brother had to use her car and we had to go in to find him OMYGAH!

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
2:59 pm

yeah hs in 95 grad high school in 97 grad college in ‘01 means I would have been born in ‘79 and i am soooooooooo HAPPY TO BE 30 baby!!!!! Anticipating 31 gracefully!!!! Time is on my side! Ha! lol

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
2:59 pm

Cee – Ok Ive been actually looking for a 84 Regal… I want a clean one just to kick it in.

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
3:00 pm

Alright just for today going for the low I got 2 vintage 95 freaknic T-shirts. who want 1?

Man do I remember my first Freaknic up all and thru the AUC and getting stuck in the best traffic jams ever. Those were the daaaaayzz

Dreams that 2:48 is what’s up. I remember my first time at the 559….I was new to the “A” and the whole night all I was like :shock:

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
3:00 pm

Lady J

I am 31.

In 1995 I was kinda still in high school but went to a Freaknik (<–spell it right) set at the OMNI hotel

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
3:00 pm

@Lady J, same here! we probably ran into each other in O’burg a couple of time LOL

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
3:00 pm

Duggan’s on Ponce was the hot spot for a long time after we finished clubbing!

Melo

January 28th, 2010
3:00 pm

my best days of my life were in college!!!!
@Lady J

now there, i agree..

U drank in college?? im surprised esp when i look at u now..

But college days were my best ever as well,back at home……

And i didnt drink beer….!

Just music,soccer and the V!

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
3:01 pm

Oh yeah. and Hooters.
Don’t even talk about that Hooters in the underground. It was off the chains. might could mess around and get a lap dance from the girls working in there. think some of em got off work and went to Magic or the Gentleman’s club. lol

And the 559 parking lot would be crackin after it let out.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
3:02 pm

@ Dan how were you “kinda sitll in high school” either you were or you were not, and at 31 you got me beat LOL

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
3:02 pm

Of course Tuskegee was the best days of my life

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
3:02 pm

Infamous – now I thought you had love for the ‘resident 5 footah’?!?! C’mon dont do me like that. here’s a kiss….MMMUAH!!

Dan – you were in high school in ‘95? I was a sophmore in college…..

Lady J – had a many a good time at ole Hampton U (lawd all that ocean/bayfront water made me a bad girl…hehehehe). Va Beach, Norfolk Live, Ebony Showcase….hanging at Norfolk St, then riding to VA State (and making sure my big brother didnt see me)..WHEW!!

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
3:03 pm

koff, koff, in ‘95 I was in my first house!

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
3:03 pm

You got any rib sandwhiches to throw in the back seat of the bowling ball purple Cutlass you rollin in over there?

And make sure you use that Merita white bread….you know the kind that gets all sticky from the juice/grease once we mash it together…lol

Willie Dynamite

January 28th, 2010
3:04 pm

Similac – how’d you know that. 1980 Cutlass Supreme sittin on dem 30’s and Vogues. Ahhh memories.

Dream_N – Come on ovah here with me and we can um discuss/negotiate and I’ll let you know what Freaknic was all about.

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
3:04 pm

Dan thought we were close in age but I never got to GA then it wasn’t until I left home…..got you dude where did you do undergrad…MO lov ya for HBCU but we don’t do no HAMPTON U!!!!! LOL

Melo you are funny!!!!!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
3:05 pm

Lady J – my BFF went to SCSU as well so I made a homecoming or two there as well. All the drankin and err um…..smo(cough)kin…..LOL. Had a blast….oh we hell that was at Hampton too! :smile:

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
3:05 pm

@ Infamous – I was and old school car junkie. Cain’t roll up at JJs Ribshack and holler at Tiny in something new, she’d look at me sideways.

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
3:05 pm

Awwwww I forgot about Hampton, Norfolk, Virginia beach area. Norfolk was NOOOO joke…country ghetto. lol Got stuck in the tunnel one time cause some folks got to shootin in the tunnel. I was like, are you REALLY serious…in the tunnel?

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 28th, 2010
3:06 pm

Mo – well D@mn I done asked you to meet me at the pawn shop. Its ok I can step my game up.. Meet me at the jewelry shop in South Dekalb..

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
3:07 pm

@ sassy And make sure you use that Merita white bread

what you know bout that merita !

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
3:08 pm

Ok headed to Argosy University in Dunwoody to turn in my Admissions packet!!! Thankful for the great motivation today!!!! Enjoy your evening folks! I gots to get my MA before 35 I put it off long enough…..lol Peace!

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
3:08 pm

@ Sassy – The between the ribshack and the carwash i don’t know who was seen more. Me and Cynt and ‘nem, or Big Boi and Ceelo…the borhters ate good and washed cars….it was so funny.

Lady J

January 28th, 2010
3:09 pm

State is more than a party school Mo but i gots you the BEST homecoming EVER!!!!!!!:)

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
3:10 pm

Yeah I know about that SC State too. My cousin went there.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
3:10 pm

Dreams – I HATED that daggone tunnel! And yes, Norfolk was country ghetto with a Naval base added in! That whole tidewater area was something else!

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
3:11 pm

“how were you “kinda sitll in high school” either you were or you were not”

@Princess – I am crakin’UP at you.

Leggs you too.

Beautiful

January 28th, 2010
3:11 pm

jus seeing wussup!

Melo

January 28th, 2010
3:12 pm

(lawd all that ocean/bayfront water made me a bad girl…hehehehe).

uuughhh hu!

(u filled and send in ur census papers from yesterday MO?) :lol:

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 28th, 2010
3:13 pm

Infamous – you are right, hence why I sent the kiss your way. :wink: While we are in S.Dekalb I need to get a pretzel also.

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
3:13 pm

we hit all them schools. Tennessee State, Fisk, ‘Skeegee (TeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeUuuuuuuu!). But what ya’ll know about Bayou Classic in the NO? Whewwwww!

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
3:15 pm

@ Dreams I don’t care what anybody says the HBCU experience is one that cannot be matched WHICHEVER one you attended/vistited.

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
3:16 pm

@ Dreams – Hooters was there forever. Is it still in Underground?

Mo (aka Moeisha )

January 28th, 2010
3:17 pm

Melo – whet?

PRINCESSNIK – co-signing that 315!!

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
3:19 pm

what you know bout that merita !

Shyyd Princess back in the day you know that’s all we had….but why did the sammich seem to taste better after we smushed it together. Speaking of sammiches umm Willie you got any “poke chop sammiches”. Wow that just made me think about Ms. Annes ghetto burger.

I see you CeeMee and Cynt and ‘nem…lol.

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
3:20 pm

btw – Mo I looooooveee Hampton’s campus. Love it!

and Howard too. The way the party is different though in DC. They like house musci.

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
3:21 pm

Cemeeli naw it’s not there anymore. They moved it to Peachtree, across from the Hard Rock Cafe. That one isn’t bad either, but still not like the one in the underground. Now the fellas might wanna check out this new spot called the Tilted Kilt…puts Hooters to shame.

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
3:22 pm

@Ms. Cee ~ this talk is making me want to grab my yellow and white shawl that took me 2 months to crochet, get on my houveround and mosey on down the road!

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
3:23 pm

I was enrolled in High School

But me, school, and the streets were doing the Hokey Pokey.

@Mo

I told you about my affinity for older women

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
3:23 pm

“grab my yellow and white shawl that took me 2 months to crochet, get on my houveround and mosey on down the road!”

Oh lawd! got me! i’m done.

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
3:25 pm

But what ya’ll know about Bayou Classic in the NO?

Lawd..lawd…lawd. For a while I just knew somehow my momma was gonna find out what I did those years I begged her to let me go….the dabauchery….the a-a-a-a-a-lcohol :oops:

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
3:25 pm

@ Leggs – You know what this old school stuff makes me think? …in one sentence.

….He don’ brought me a mighty long way….

Melo

January 28th, 2010
3:25 pm

@PRINCESSNIK/MO/CEE

I wldnt want my gerlz or my boy to go to an HBCU but ill sure urge my boy to go party with them students ova there,for an out an out good exshperience..

must be fun,if uall are to be believed! :lol:

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
3:26 pm

this talk is making me want to grab my yellow and white shawl that took me 2 months to crochet, get on my houveround and mosey on down the road!

Alright now keep in mind there’s a 3 mph limit on those things :lol:

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
3:27 pm

this talk is making me want to grab my yellow and white shawl that took me 2 months to crochet, get on my houveround and mosey on down the road!

Oh my!

Mo (aka Moeisha )

January 28th, 2010
3:27 pm

Dan – lol, okay Mr West End

Cemeeli – I love that campus too and your right, alot of house and go-go up there in DC! Mighty long way indeed!

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
3:28 pm

….He don’ brought me a mighty long way….

That’s a very nice summation!

I know we all can look back in amazement that we even got out alive over half the stuff we knowingly walked into! WE HAD FUN!

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
3:31 pm

@ Melo I wldnt want my gerlz or my boy to go to an HBCU but ill sure urge my boy to go party with them students ova there,for an out an out good exshperience..

don’t believe the negativity!

And don’t get it twisted it wasn’t all partying, I graduated with honors and with the 2nd highest GPA in my major.

Melo

January 28th, 2010
3:31 pm

I graduated with honors and with the 2nd highest GPA in my major.

@PRINCESSNIK

and thats the thing I observbed back in college,the gerlz that partied and were debauchered the most,had brains too…! :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
3:33 pm

I wldnt want my gerlz or my boy to go to an HBCU
Mine generally don’t have a choice. I tell my son “You can go where you want, but the check is going to Morehouse”. My dad told me the same thing. My daughter has just a little more flexibility.

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
3:34 pm

@Melo – My lad DOES NOT want to attend an HBCU. Now one of his teachers is a Morehouse Man (for some reason that MM is a mantra)…anyway he enjoys his teacher’s HBCU stories. But if you ask him where he’s going he speaks Duke.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
3:38 pm

@melo : and thats the thing I observbed back in college,the gerlz that partied and were debauchered the most,had brains too…!

I’ll give you that, but i wasn’t one of those gerlz, but i sure knew some i always wondered how they kept their gpa up when their legz were open all night everynight

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
3:39 pm

@Dreams

Thazzzz Riiight.

Dan - my invented truth

January 28th, 2010
3:41 pm

@Melo/Cee

Do you best to visit the schools before sending them off; Duke is a shock to most people (specifically, us).

@Mo

That’s Mr. SW Atlanta….

lurker

January 28th, 2010
3:41 pm

Who said Freaknic?

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
3:41 pm

I know we all can look back in amazement that we even got out alive over half the stuff we knowingly walked into! WE HAD FUN!

Yessiirrr!!!

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
3:45 pm

@ Dan – The closest he’s been to Duke is Wake Forest (i have fam in NC)…and that visit he was 8yp. He’s only 10…we got time to talk him down…lol i kid.

I support/encourage whatever choice…

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
3:45 pm

Lurker Willie D started it when he was tryna sell one of his Vintage Freaknic ‘95 shirts…he only had two though :)

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
3:48 pm

Who was Mayor during freaknic 95 or 96? I remember a News interview and the Mayor was shoooocked at all the people that came to Atlanta.

lurker

January 28th, 2010
3:48 pm

Willie D started it when he was tryna sell one of his Vintage Freaknic ‘95 shirts…he only had two though

I’m take one for old times sake

lurker

January 28th, 2010
3:50 pm

Mayor was shoooocked at all the people

So was my mama. She wanted to call the police. LOL

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
3:50 pm

It was Bill Campbell. He destroyed it after 95.

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
3:51 pm

Who was Mayor during freaknic 95 or 96?

Wasn’t it Bill Campbell CeeMee ?

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
3:52 pm

Andrew Young was the mayor!

Mo (aka Moeisha )

January 28th, 2010
3:52 pm

alright ya’ll Im out! This stroll down memory lane has been fun!

Ya’ll be easy!

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
3:52 pm

@ Lurker – lol…O.k.! that’s right ma.

My mamma bbq’d for me and all my friends come over and hung out. She just wanted us to be safe.

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
3:53 pm

You’re right SassyMe. I forgot all about his greedy behind.

PRINCESSNIK

January 28th, 2010
3:55 pm

Deuces ya’ll, i’m going to put in my kilo cd for the ride home and continue the stroll down memory lane LOL

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
3:55 pm

He destroyed it after 95.

He damn sure did :evil:

Read y’all tomorrow…peace.

lurker

January 28th, 2010
3:56 pm

@ Lurker – lol…O.k.! that’s right ma.

Girrrrrl, I won’t even speak on it.

Professor is.....

January 28th, 2010
3:57 pm

Bill Campbell in 95
Andrew Young 80’s

Maynard Jackson before them R.I.P

Sassy Me....I'm soo ready :-)

January 28th, 2010
3:57 pm

kilo cd for the ride home

Do you hear what I heaaaaar!…that boom ,that boom….

I am whatever you say I am

January 28th, 2010
4:01 pm

Shout outs to the following:

M dot (where you at boo?)
Dreams MAT
and Lady L
….and I’m out
R.I.P Apache

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
4:02 pm

Yeah Bill Campbell did that interview. He seemed scared, but said that City embraced the young people. – Auh NO, not when the APD was arresting left and right for some things unnecessarily.

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
4:05 pm

Yeah and APD had exits blocked off until you got outside the city limits. They wanted to make sure you were leaving. lol

I am whatever you say I am

January 28th, 2010
4:06 pm

Shout outs to the following:

M dot (where you at boo?)
Dreams MAT
and Lady J (typo earlier! my bad!)
….and I’m out
R.I.P Apache

Cemeeli

January 28th, 2010
4:07 pm

@Dreamns – Some folk had to get Hotels way in Newnan and farther than that.

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
4:09 pm

much love I am whatever

Willie Dynamite

January 28th, 2010
4:16 pm

yeah I ws pissed when they shut it down. That was a hustlas paradise. Whatchu want whatchu need. The Eastside was all about partying. Them Westside cats decided to start rioting and running thru Greenbriar. They had to do something bout that. The whole city was shut down. That did it. All left now is memories.

Melo

January 28th, 2010
4:18 pm

SO UALL Think Bill Campbell was:

THE TIPPING POINT?

in Atlanta’s demise,party wise?? :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2010
4:21 pm

Naw it wasn’t really Bill Campbell. He was just the figurehead or the mouthpiece for Atlanta residents who had influence. The whole elimination of the party scene from Buckhead was well orchestrated by the Buckhead Alliance. They bought people out and put strict requirements on what types of businesses they would allow to replace them.

For Real

January 28th, 2010
4:26 pm

All I know is it is amazing that my liver, lungs and kidneys still work and I’m sure Obession has some type of chemical in that was good for the skin and I don’t know what possessed me to perm my mustache and beard. And who in the hell invented high right low left? My hair does grow evenly till this day. But all I know is it all seemed to work in Charles Disco or when I was ridin around in Cut-Supreme listening to The Formula on my $386.36 brand new blaupunkt stereo system with factory speaker and two component-set speakers wired in.

Melo

January 28th, 2010
4:29 pm

what year was that when it was shut coz i wld have partaken of some of those benefits had i known?? :lol:

lurker

January 28th, 2010
4:38 pm

what year was that when it was shut coz i wld have partaken of some of those benefits had i known??

Not surprising. LOL

But all I know is it all seemed to work in Charles Disco

Charles Disco Lounge. I’ve never been but my nephew’s mom won the big booty contest a number of times. During her days of cohabitating with my brother, that prize money would always get them both a nice pair of jeans and pampers dropped at mom’s for the babies (while they ran the streets).

LoveLife411

January 28th, 2010
4:40 pm

85′ >>> Marco’s, Cambellton Rd, 21 Grand and Frozen Paradise, Old Nat’l and oh what is the name of that club off Glenridge, begins with an S?

lurker

January 28th, 2010
4:40 pm

Strange days, during the existence of Charles Disco Lounge. A classmate was killed in the parking lot there.

lurker

January 28th, 2010
4:41 pm

Didn’t do much clubbing but yeah, Freaknic, Dugans on Ponce and Fat Tuesday at underground was the spot to be in…whew!

Melo

January 28th, 2010
4:42 pm

Not surprising. LOL

lurker??

u hurt my feelings!

do i really show a horny dyck on my forehead?? :lol:

lurker

January 28th, 2010
4:45 pm

do i really show a horny dyck on my forehead??

Ummm yeah but nothing out of the ordinary for you. LOL

Melo

January 28th, 2010
4:45 pm

@lurker

we gon cut down on fufu then…

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
4:48 pm

@LoveLife411 ~ nothing like leaving Mr. V’s on Campbellton and heading over to Marco’s….a bunch of wannabee mack daddies up in that camp!

LoveLife411

January 28th, 2010
4:53 pm

Leggs .. .a bunch of wannabee mack daddies up in that camp!

How right you are. I was married, so we’d cop a couch and watch the happenings, eat, drink, dance and be merry.

Ellerery’s kinda reminds me of Marco’s … I don’t think I’ve been any place with players and playetts as old as those in Ellerery’s LOL :)

Leggs

January 28th, 2010
4:53 pm

Old school sayings in the 90’s:

Yo, those shoes are dope, girl!”

Peace Out!

Melo

January 28th, 2010
4:54 pm

I was married

so whats ur status now..free wheeling?

LoveLife411

January 28th, 2010
4:55 pm

@ Melo… so whats ur status now..free wheeling?

Sho u right!

Melo

January 28th, 2010
4:56 pm

@LoveLife411, OK,well talk some more!

geed nite

LoveLife411

January 28th, 2010
4:57 pm

Good Night All!

sharongilo

January 29th, 2010
3:09 pm

Invest time when it feels good and right for you …. and if it’s mutual …
http://www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.com