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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Billboard of Shame

If you happened to have missed the headlines last week, Atlanta was one of the cities included in the “vengeance by billboard” by YaVaugnie Wilkins.

Billboard
Photo Credit: AJC

There is certainly a lot that is not being told about the couple’s history. Mr. Phillips made his public statement about an 8-year relationship with Ms. Wilkins. I think what struck me the most was how a relationship ends up like this after such a long time.

The whole saga seems deeper than “hell hath no fury”. Maybe it is a cautionary tale about how well we know the people we are dating or committed to. Do you think a person can conceal an entire marriage without showing any signs?

What happens when someone is not the person they portray themselves to be? If you found out that you had been dating a married person, how would you react?

What is it about love gone wrong that makes us want to exact revenge, anyway? Have you ever gone out of your way to humiliate or embarrass someone who betrayed you? Did it make you feel better?

Do you think we have a sense of entitlement when it comes to breakups? Are we owed some type of retribution for being hurt?

403 comments Add your comment

Raqi

January 25th, 2010
10:10 am

Infamous, I feel sorry for the wife too, but I have to wonder how did he get away with it for 8 years without her even suspecting anything. There had to be something not right that she should have questioned.

As his wife she had the right to ask him about anything and everything. You best believe if I ever get a hint of something not being as it should Imma ask questions.

kimmie

January 25th, 2010
10:11 am

Why is it revenge to be the best you? Why does it have to do with the other person?

Dan – That’s an oversimplified way to explain a rather simple thought process. Pride. If you’ve never understood it, you would not understand it. It’s hoping that if you ever run into that ex again that they will see you at your very best, that you have not missed a beat and they see what they missed out on. A very human thought process.

After my first bad heartbreak, I did not run into my ex, but his best friend. Not only was I looking fabulous that night, but I had a guy friend with me that was some serious eyecandy. Keep in mind that my ex used to put me down all the time – I was never slim enough, cute enough, dressed right enough, etc for HIM. Oh yes, word got back.

Now it did not matter really – there was no chance we would ever get back together. And my new look had nothing to do with him, in fact, I was sure I would never see him again because he went away in the military. I felt good about ME! The fact that his friend saw me and reported back was icing on the cake.

Vanessa Williams says that was her motivation after she went thru her debacle with the Miss America incident.

A much better form of “revenge” than busting windows, don’t you think?

Demi

January 25th, 2010
10:11 am

Hey Angie…I miss me too, LOL I kid…I miss you and the rest of my blog folks…But school is kicking my behind…

Hello Lady J, Slim, 404, Leggs, Raqi, kimmie, and Mz Dreaming….Head Nod’n'Pounds to my fellas

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 25th, 2010
10:12 am

RAqi – But Whitebread was good.. Real Good.. He had the MEANS to do it and conceal his actions. Thats what I said last week..

Anyone with multiple residences can cheat at will..

Dan - moving away from gray and back to black

January 25th, 2010
10:16 am

@Kimmie

Yeah, better than the Class E felony…

Pride huh? Interesting.

I’ve never understood it (even when it was used on me). A “look at me now” got the “um, okay…and?” response from me. If we’re done, let’s be done.

Thanks for the explaination.

Sitting Pretty

January 25th, 2010
10:20 am

I’m sure the wife knew eventually. She probably made a decision to ignore the signs. People can call her crazy, but if anything, she was/is crazy in love. I’m sure he was doing just enough to make her feel like she was the only woman for him. Maybe their marriage is more of a business deal. Basically, you do you and i’ll do me, but come tax time let’s meet up to discuss our assets. Who knows!?!? Either way, the husband and the mistress were wrong. The husband disrespected his wife, himself, and his vows. The mistress was wrong for staying around after she found out he was married. (He probably was good at concealing it at first, but the truth always comes to the light and it’s usually sooner than later). This was extreme and unnecessary revenge. I wonder if she now thinks it was worth it?

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 25th, 2010
10:21 am

@Dan

“A “look at me now””

I see what you mean Dan, but you have to upgrade yourself and not be dependent on someone you used to date. Its good to see that you are moving forward and standing on your own 2 feet.

Lady J

January 25th, 2010
10:23 am

Hey Demi!!!!!!!! That game has me SICK this morning!!!!! SO wanted MINN to Win and they gave the game away 10 times over! But it was for NO in the ordered steps and I’m trying to accept that! I don’t do NO!!!! GO COLTS!!!!!:)

Leggs thanks for your wisdom!!!!:)

kimmie

January 25th, 2010
10:24 am

“look at me now”

For me Dan, it was more like the words to a song, I can’t remember who sings it, but the words are:

I was bruised, but not broken.

If you’ve ever had someone mentally and/or verbally abuse you, you understand.

IDK..

January 25th, 2010
10:25 am

@ infamous, lol im not a clone, i do at times admire ur font tho (others too). it seems like in the last year its been more females going postal and men are losing theirs LIVES over it. why take what aint yours? dan @ 10:16 im wit ya!! if its over its OVER. all parites in that situation have mental issues..LOVE does not hurt, FOLKS hurt. remember, GOD Is Love…

Dan - moving away from gray and back to black

January 25th, 2010
10:26 am

@Kimmie

I’m sorry that happened to you.

@Kimmie and MDot

I guess I’m just lost on why it’s about the other person’s response. I never really cared what people thought about me (good or bad).

And to go as far as reinventing myself for someone else….DTM. It feels like giving them way too much power…

That’s just my opinion though. Thanks for sharing, y’all.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 25th, 2010
10:26 am

People kill me with that. Yeah Im gonna work out so when he/she sees me they are gonna regret leaving me.. Bwahahahaha!! Man gone.. If I bounce on ya it wouldnt matter if you won Miss America the next day.. You would still be some chick I used to cut that got banned from the scream machine. Prolly be looking at you on TV like “I bet they dont know I painted her face”

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 25th, 2010
10:27 am

Kimmie – Phil Collins Look at Me now..

Melo

January 25th, 2010
10:32 am

@DK..Prolly be looking at you on TV like “I bet they dont know I painted her face”

u funny man! :lol: :lol:

Beautiful ♥ went to Vegas and caught feelings! SMDH. That wasn't suppose to happen dammit!!!

January 25th, 2010
10:32 am

got on FB a lil over a month ago. connected with high school friends. it’s been wild! *giggle* found out at the last minute that they had been planned a reunion in Vegas. my cut buddy from hs hit me up. *gurl, you betta get there!* this nicca is STILL phine and sexy as heyo!
fifty of us from FB showed up. kwazy! ev1 lookin’ good. i don’t drink, but they were lit the whole time. DaCl showed up first, sunday. i touched down tues. on wed we finally caught up with each other and he took me to lunch. since his rental car was actin’ up, i picked him up in mine. he stayed at the beautiful Polo Hotel overlooking the strip! a spectacular view. when i seen him i got out the car for a hug and this guy just laid it on ya gurl! the kiss was amazing and i didn’t expect it. he didn’t hold back.
we jumped in da car and hit some lil spot . . . ate and won $50 bucks on the slots. lol. shii*t lunch was on them. lol. we went back to his room and i seriously thought that we were going to just chill. we had to leave in less than two hrs to pick up a classmate at the airport.
he showed me around the suite. i stopped at the big window in the living room and stared out at the MGM, New York New York . . . just breath taking. he came over and grabbed me. it went down Vegas style!!!
*sigh*
i didn’t realize i caught feelings until we parted. this is not good.
don’t get me wrong though, i had a blast with my gurls! shout out to Soulzburry on Dean Martin Drive. Tank performed fri nite! small black club in s. vegas. we shut that place down at 3:30. anutha shout out to Queen Sheba a jamaican spot. it didn’t close till 7am. we shut that one down too! we started out at Nellis base for a drink, then headed to Pure for VIP party, ladies only. hated Pure. too many white guys. i didn’t care how much money they had. i like chocolate.

SexyCool - Still Feeling Good

January 25th, 2010
10:32 am

I’d rather be cheating on by a rich husband than a broke ass one. :)

kimmie

January 25th, 2010
10:34 am

I thought the story was that the mistress got upset because they decided not to go thru with the divorce and he decided to work on his marriage. She was probably under the impression(that he probably gave her) that once the divorce was final, they would hook up.

Kinda like one of Tiger’s mistresses being mad when she found out there were other mistresses! You have no RIGHTS at all, you’re just a mistress!

But folks are going to get enough of playing around with people! As you can see, some people are CRAZY!

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 25th, 2010
10:35 am

The best revenge to me is letting that person know that youre not bitter towards them.. A smile and let em know that you are praying for them.

I had to tell my EX something that put it into perspective for her. “I’m not angry with you, I respect you because you are my Son’s Mohter and I pray for you both daily. Have a Nice Day.” The look on her face told the story. You have to mean it though.. Really Mean that you have prayed for them because you have. Let the Man upstairs deal with your EX because revenge aint yours.. All you can do is remain positive even if you died a thousand times behind the situation. Be diligent in your valley.. Be productive after your bad breakup. Let your roots take hold in the dirt youve been thrown, sprout roots and grow a flower. Dont worry they will see the flower. Dont do nothing for them or that this will get them back.. Please.. D@mn Them..

Raqi

January 25th, 2010
10:35 am

Infamous, I agree that the way whitebread had it set up made it easier however looking back now I can see where he slipped up a couple of times yet I chose to ignore it. That’s why I have to believe that he slipped up on the other side too with the wife. And we were together only 1-1/2 years. In 8-1/2 years something had to show on both ends with Mr. Phillips.

SexyCool - Still Feeling Good

January 25th, 2010
10:35 am

Angie – You broke the “VEGAS RULE”. Came back and told EVERYthAng!!! LOL!!!

Melo

January 25th, 2010
10:36 am

it went down Vegas style!!!
*sigh*

:lol: :lol:

gerl u so easy…laughing! :lol:

Lady J

January 25th, 2010
10:37 am

hmmmm the act of cheating goes way back meaning having affairs I can’t understand good looking SINGLE brothers grown behind men who seek teen-agers…..just thinking out loud of a former educator now locked up behind a sixteen year old there are sooooo many available women….I know rhetorical and off subject but I just don’t get it….lol

Raqi

January 25th, 2010
10:39 am

kimmie, that could be the case. That’s probably why she went to just drastic measures to out him. He probably had her thinking he was going to leave the wife for her and when he didn’t after all she snapped.

Hell has no fury like a woman scorned.

Beautiful ♥ went to Vegas and caught feelings! SMDH. That wasn't suppose to happen dammit!!!

January 25th, 2010
10:39 am

forgot to add. the big reunion/b-day bash was sat nite at Treasure Island. shut that down too at 5:30a. i miss them already. lol. my azz went from club straight to airport. smh.

lil jon (not a Demi)

January 25th, 2010
10:40 am

SO wanted MINN to Win and they gave the game away 10 times over!

Yeaaaaaah!!!

.I don’t do NO!!!! GO COLTS!!!!!:)

said with a puzzle look on face

Okaaaaay?I?I?

Sorry, Pimpest….NO is a second home to me…I am going down to MIAMI to help put a dent in the drinking market…

Oh how I love them pretty South Bech ‘Oes

Beautiful ♥ went to Vegas and caught feelings! SMDH. That wasn't suppose to happen dammit!!!

January 25th, 2010
10:42 am

lol @ Sexy!

@Melo
if you were to see DaCl, you would give him some azz too! lol.

Lady J

January 25th, 2010
10:42 am

LMBAO @ U CARZY!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy boo!!!!!

Raqi

January 25th, 2010
10:42 am

LadyJ, I agree but it was going on when we were in high school. We all knew which cute fine male teacher was getting it from which very “mature” girls. There were more than a couple.

kimmie

January 25th, 2010
10:42 am

People kill me with that. Yeah Im gonna work out so when he/she sees me they are gonna regret leaving me..

DK – And putting like that, that is giving the other person power that they should not have. You are right, and if you’ve dumped me, I know it really does not matter and I don’t care if you regret it or not, I’m SO through with you! That’s never been my motivation. That’s why counselors will tell you not to lose weight, get plastic surgery, etc – FOR SOMEONE ELSE. You have to do it for YOU!

But on the real, yes if you’ve dumped me, then yes, if you ran into me later I would want you to see me looking cute and not laying in a gutter. If most folks are honest with themselves, they will admit that.

Poppa Grande

January 25th, 2010
10:45 am

Good morning all.

I agree with Infamous.

I read the story last week. I thought it was childish. What did she think that it would accomplish? He is CEO of Oracle and also an advisor to Pres. Obama. On top of that, he was still with his wife. He still has all of that.

He wasn’t right at all with what he did. However, I refuse to believe that she didn’t know what was going on. Even if he said things that strung her along, she would be agreeing to contribute to breaking up a family. That makes her actions contributory to situation.

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2010
10:45 am

You have to mean it though.. Really Mean that you have prayed for them because you have.
This is true. I used to know this chick who was in a relationship where there was infidelity and abuse (mentally and physically). She eventually left dude and got herself together. She claimed she was past it. Meanwhile, dude gets some help, stops drinking, and gets himself together too. He starts a business, the whole nine. He gets married and seems to be happy. So, when the chick finds out, she was upset because deep down she was hoping things wouldn’t go well for him because of everything he did to her.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 25th, 2010
10:47 am

Kimmie – The reality of it is no one really expects to see their ex in the gutter.. If you believe that then youre off your rocker because these people had some qualities that attracted you to them in the first place.

EX: If your EX was a hardworking person.. Why would You expect that to change. If anything you should expect they are gonna work harder because they can focus now without Love being a distraction.

Lady J

January 25th, 2010
10:47 am

yep raqi your right….smh…..

Demi

January 25th, 2010
10:49 am

I’d rather be cheating on by a rich husband than a broke ass one.

See Shaq’s EX or Kobie’s wife for more info…

SexyCool - Still Feeling Good

January 25th, 2010
10:49 am

The “I’m gonna workout for revenge.” line. Hilarious.

However, one of my co-workers recently received a text message from Shthead saying that he’d heard that I had lost weight and was looking good. (Disclaimer – Me not working out for revenge. Me working out for health.) But – I did smirk just a bit when I heard that.

Dan - moving away from gray and back to black

January 25th, 2010
10:49 am

@Kimmie

This town ain’t that big. I run into my “ex’s” all over the place. Smile, a hug, a pinch on the bootay and I’m out…

“Holla at cha boy if you need anything..” <– And I mean it. Call me if you need me (within reason and they know it).

Leggs

January 25th, 2010
10:50 am

I’ll admit. Would rather look neat, fresh and well groomed than looking broke down as I run to the store wearing my holey socks and stain smeared sweatshirt(lol)!

Poppa Grande

January 25th, 2010
10:50 am

As far as pride goes, be careful with pride. Pride did Lucifer in.

I’ve had to learn to deal with pride myself. It can be as much as a liability as it can be an asset. (Not to mention that it one of the seven deadly sins.)

Humility is important, too.

Leggs

January 25th, 2010
10:53 am

@DreamsM ~ Celie told Mister (Color Purple) that nothing would be good with him until he does right by her! It’s not always the case. I too have a gf who man broke up with her and married another less than a year later. To this day, her heart still hurts!

Professor...

January 25th, 2010
10:53 am

I think him having to tell his wife, who did not want kids, that he had gotten his mistress pregnant was enough humilation for one century. LOL

…I am sorry, but I cannot find the laugh or the humor in this sentence.

Good morning!

Lady J

January 25th, 2010
10:53 am

Demi stop lol and Dan you are right the different social crowds you run into folk you didn’t even knew hung out until your pouring a glass of wine choking @ their pressence….lol too funny!

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 25th, 2010
10:54 am

Angie – I hope you havent caught feelings.. Honestly if I hadnt seen you in many moons and as soon as I see you.. I take you to the room and Fcuk you in the window..

All Im saying is you might wanna put ya feeling back in check.

kimmie

January 25th, 2010
10:55 am

The reality of it is no one really expects to see their ex in the gutter.. If you believe that then youre off your rocker because these people had some qualities that attracted you to them in the first place.

DK- Come on, you know I was exaggerating. The following snipet of your post proves the point I was trying to make. I understand you & Dan have to play devil’s advocate toward the ladies on here, though, LOL, so I understand both of your responses.

Be productive after your bad breakup. Let your roots take hold in the dirt youve been thrown, sprout roots and grow a flower. Dont worry they will see the flower. Dont do nothing for them or that this will get them back..

Beautifully put!

THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING

January 25th, 2010
10:56 am

Kimmie – Wink

kimmie

January 25th, 2010
10:56 am

Hey SCool! Thanks sister & you too, Leggs. You all obviously get it.

Dan - moving away from gray and back to black

January 25th, 2010
10:57 am

@PG

Exactly.

Demi

January 25th, 2010
10:59 am

I take you to the room and Fcuk you in the window..

DK…pls record in HD…I am apart of the blu-ray crowd now…thats the only way i’ll purchase y’all’s sex tape.

Dan - moving away from gray and back to black

January 25th, 2010
10:59 am

@Kimmie

I’m not playing “Devil’s Advocate” in this case, I truly haven’t gotten it. Mdot was the first dude I’ve seen say it.

But I tell my female friends all the time “git right for you, not him”. It gives that other person a place in your life that they don’t deserve. Anger, resentment, hurt all lead to really bad places, and ion like to see my folk go through it – for anybody.

Beautiful ♥ went to Vegas and caught feelings! SMDH. That wasn't suppose to happen dammit!!!

January 25th, 2010
11:01 am

@DK
smh @ you dude! like i can control this. of course i’m workin’ on it. i can’t like or be in love with DaCl! he lives out of state and freshly divorced. i’m giving myself a couple of days to deal. then its back to business as usual.

kimmie

January 25th, 2010
11:03 am

I too have a gf who man broke up with her and married another less than a year later. To this day, her heart still hurts!

Leggs – See, stuff like that hurts. I’ve been there. It rips at your heart. Some folks are close to the edge and can’t handle stuff like that gracefully.