It’s Your Own Fault
A group of us met up for dinner recently at Flip Burger Boutique to catch up with each other and nosh on some food. It didn’t take long before the topic turned to dating and sex. (They like to blame this on me, but I am rarely the one to bring it up).
Shauna was complaining about the fact that she was let down with how her new man “performed”. I thought she should cut him some slack. Things could improve and he probably was just as disappointed as she was. She said she wasn’t going to mention anything to him because she didn’t want to come across as bossy in bed.
One of the men told her not to let it go on for too long. If she ended up in a relationship with a man that didn’t satisfy her, it would be her own fault, not his. Of course, this sparked a debate about who was responsible for bad sex people are having.
Do you blame the people who lack bedroom skills or their partners that don’t tell them?
Of course the central argument for some was that people fake satisfaction too much to keep the peace and protect the egos. What do you think?
Should you bring up how to improve things in the bedroom when you have just started a relationship? Do you wait to see if it improves with time and umm… practice?
Happy Friday!
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330 comments Add your comment
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:19 pm
The blog is holding my post. It’s okay though. As I said, ain’t you glad God is God and not people. Whew, we dodge a bullet seeing we don’t answer to one another, we dodge a bullet seeing the good book, it’s rules, it’s laws are applicable to all. We dodge a bullet seeing it’s not just the strumpets that’s going to pay, all because they are deemed hos. Thank goodness the rules and laws apply to all.
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:21 pm
DreamsMaterialize – In my post that was confiscated, I answer that you get a yes sir ONLY because I respect you. lol
SexyCool - Still Feeling Good
January 22nd, 2010
2:22 pm
My question is whatdahell was he telling her for 8.5 years THAT SHE WAS BELIEVING? I guess money will make you turn a blind eye to some things.
And what about the wife? Where was she while all this globetrotting was going on? And what was he telling her THAT SHE WAS BELIEVING?!?!?
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:22 pm
Good gracious he’s flaunted his misteress all around and now that he’s bored with that he decides to go back to the wife and whoomp there it is?….did he really think it was going to be that simple
Yep, according to society, HE’S JUST A MAN doing what a man does.
MusingLee w/beads of sweat on his forehead
January 22nd, 2010
2:23 pm
Musing is falling out of his chair listening to the freaky blog ladies; wondering if there are tiny buzzing noices coming from under their desks?!?!
Cemeeli
January 22nd, 2010
2:24 pm
@Sassy – Do you like shrimp? I have one that i want to do for guest that includes lime and mango chutney? It’s for shrimp kabobs actually.
I cain’t wait til i can grill in decent weather!!!
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:25 pm
Hes back with his woman.Not divorced……Thats how these things always end up like,esp for black folks…
Bill campell=still married
Bill clinton=still married
Vernon jones=still kicking it
Melo you write that as though he’s (or aforementioneds)are winners. Blank stare goes here.
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COMMON DENOMINATOR
January 22nd, 2010
2:26 pm
Look ya’ll Dude is the Pres of Oracle with houses on all coasts.. He aint gotta tell her nothing. He can spend time with her and go home and spend time with his wife.. He’s always on Business even when he aint trickin…
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:27 pm
Sorry, I’m irked because I KNEW some onesided mind dude was gonna pop off with that chicks short comings and the deservedness from the likes of ho-ism/stankiness/strumpetdom. Yep she’s lived and carried on like one but he’s not excused. I digress.
Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)
January 22nd, 2010
2:28 pm
according to society, HE’S JUST A MAN doing what a man does.
Chile puhlease…..
LoveLife411
January 22nd, 2010
2:30 pm
I’m with you SC what was dude saying??? Inquiring minds want to know LOL:)
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:30 pm
Carry on with the Friday freakiness
Melo
January 22nd, 2010
2:30 pm
Sassy Me??
his wife had wanted to file for divorce prior to his rendevous with this whrre…and then after a cpple of years,decided not to go ahead and do it..
Thats what i read from the article…so they reconciled and got back tgether….
The wang is still the same,tho a lil more experienced,her puddsy is still there..and the whrre is tossed aside.
I dont see the problem with them renewing their vows again and getting remaining married.
I mean,cmeon pple..its no different to getting maried to a guy or chic with kids from prior relations or a non virgin………
If u make it new,its New!
Melo
January 22nd, 2010
2:32 pm
Melo you write that as though he’s (or aforementioneds)are winners.
@Just saying
No!!
I write that to mean:
Some things neva change!
Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)
January 22nd, 2010
2:32 pm
CeeMee I love seafood and that idea sounds great!! I’ve had a variation of the kabobs with that mango chutney and it was soo good, I was rocking from side to side humming in my chair
Musing umm what you over there doing that’s got u sweatin’?….u ain’t alone are you?
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COME'RE
January 22nd, 2010
2:33 pm
See ya’ll got it twisted. Most times a dude aint gotta sell no dreams a chick will sell it to themselves.. She knew he was married but she figured she could get him when he gave her an opportunity to get on. The dream was alreayd sold by the time they got to knocking boots and she sold the majority of it to herself.
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COME'RE
January 22nd, 2010
2:33 pm
All he had to do was fill in the blanks..
Leggs
January 22nd, 2010
2:33 pm
All parties involved are looking as stupid as John Edwards and his baby drama.
@SexyC ~ whatever he was telling her made her go ballistic when she realized they were all empty words.
Sweet words not backed with any form of committment = sweet nothings! Never understood why women got caught up with the sweet nothings!
Cemeeli
January 22nd, 2010
2:38 pm
@Sassy – Alright maam. I’ll send it. Later on if you get more good ones…dont’ be telling me it’s my fault you eatin’ like the QUEEN of England and cain’t get in ya bustier…ain’t my fault.
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:38 pm
whatever he was telling her made her go ballistic when she realized they were all empty words.
Sweet words not backed with any form of committment = sweet nothings! Never understood why women got caught up with the sweet nothings!
but he was talking. She ain’t pulled that out of her azz crack alone. Fell for the okedoke yeah, but AND STILL, he was in on it just as much. I find it incredible that a man is willing to put himself out there like that, especially when she’s such a nothing and buying pipe dreams. We see the outcome of this type behavior repeated time and time again. So, at this point and for all the times we see the same thing happening EVERYBODY deserves whatever comes their way. NOT, why she tripping, sheen know she was a ho?
Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)
January 22nd, 2010
2:38 pm
Never understood why women got caught up with the sweet nothings!
For real,though. Then they want to get upset with the guy but they have just as much accountability as the man they’re layin up with.
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:39 pm
Leggs, that wasn’t at you.
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COME'RE
January 22nd, 2010
2:39 pm
Since some peoples panties are in a wad and theyre acting like a lil ole B1Tch, let me clarify.. That goes for both parties.. Both parties that took place in the jumpin are wrong and should get what they deserve.. The Jumper and the Jumpoff.
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:40 pm
They get caught up because whatever he’s selling, they’re buying. No matter if it’s ocean front property in Arizona. She’s a dummy. He’s a liar. He’s not excused though.
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COME'RE
January 22nd, 2010
2:40 pm
Just Saying = Somebody’s EX Jumpoff..
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:41 pm
Your clarification worked wonders in me getting my panties (albeit pretty) out of my azz crack.
Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)
January 22nd, 2010
2:42 pm
dont’ be telling me it’s my fault you eatin’ like the QUEEN of England and cain’t get in ya bustier…ain’t my fault.
CeeMee you ain’t right…lol I’ll just have to do more bonding with my treadmill, that’s all
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COME'RE
January 22nd, 2010
2:42 pm
Just Saying – Im Just playing but You are getting upset like this is hitting close to home.. So dont cuss me out just yet.. You might later but not right now..
Melo
January 22nd, 2010
2:42 pm
@Legss?ladies??
If i were that lady, i wld go ahead and snag another single dude with as much much…then..
go ahead and put billboard pics of new man with me, in NyCity,Atlanta and SanFransisco saying:
IAM TAKEN
SexyCool - Still Feeling Good
January 22nd, 2010
2:43 pm
DK – preshate the alternate look. I could see that. BUT FOR 8.5 YEARS – naw, not the kid. I’m not good in limbo. Hell, I’m struggling after 5months. LOL!
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COME'RE
January 22nd, 2010
2:45 pm
Sexy – But how difficult would it have to be.. I mean he has homes everywhere and is always on business, so he’s telling wifey he’s on BI and telling Girlfriend he’s on BI.. I mean once or twice a month can stretch to a few years before you know it..
Melo
January 22nd, 2010
2:45 pm
DK??
both wrong yes but the guy is saying right now:
phew,I dodged a bullet..
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:47 pm
Infamous – Jumpoff? Not hardly. EVERYTIME I hear hypocrisy, IT’S MY DUTY to check it. Some of ya’ll come on here and EVERY subject is the woman’s fault. He ain’t interested, it’s her fault. He can’t screw, it’s her fault. He ain’t being fed, she should know how. He’s a cheater if you’re the wife you should do better at keeping his attention and if you’re the ho you should have known it’s was only for sex. He’s broke, you should be understanding. He’s rolling with it, you should be able to keep up. Trust love, I waaay above be jumped, a jumpoff, a ho, somebody dugout girl. Not that you need to know I can count on 1 hand how many partners, can your wife oh wait, EX wife say the same. Bet some dude is blowing that back out right about now. Handling what you should have.
SexyCool - Still Feeling Good
January 22nd, 2010
2:47 pm
Further to my last statement – I don’t really feel like the relationship is in limbo. It’s more that I’m eager to see a resolution with the current situation that we’re dealing with.
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COME'RE
January 22nd, 2010
2:47 pm
Then while she putting up billboards it aint doing nothing but making other women take a closer look.. Like Whoa I wanna know what he was telling her Ha Ha!!
Luvbug
January 22nd, 2010
2:47 pm
Just getting back…
Melo – I wanted to assume that was the meaning, but sometimes I’m not sure…so I had to ask.
We touched!
To end with the topic at hand…I think people should let the other person know and work to please them – but weigh whether it’s worth working out before bringing it up. In that situation, I preferred to save his ego and keep the 10+ years of friendship we had already established before sex
…and if it so pleases the moral misfits and/or blame women for everything aspect of a relationship crowd (whomever that applies to)…I’ve not only been used and abused and should feel desperate and ashamed but also give the worst sex ever and will forever be damned to whichever religious purgatory for my whorish sins of (fill in the blank) gada gada.
I have no regrets…it gave me a measure against what I was use to. I was actually grateful for the past after it happened…hope he’s happy rubbing up the next woman…hope she’s happy too.
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:48 pm
both wrong yes but the guy is saying right now:
phew,I dodged a bullet..
Hindsight is always 20/20….now I digress
SexyCool - Still Feeling Good
January 22nd, 2010
2:49 pm
See, I’m the kinda chick that needs more than once or twice a month. And besides, my attention span ain’t that damn long when it comes to a relationship that is not moving at a sure pace towards real commitment.
Dream_n~ Priceless
January 22nd, 2010
2:52 pm
Afternoon All,
Popping in for a quick minute..
On Topic: Simple and easy.. Tell him and go from there.
Off Topic: Not sure where you guys are right now.. LOL
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COME'RE
January 22nd, 2010
2:56 pm
Just Saying – Somebody’s EX Jumpoff. Look babe Pull yaself together. You on here taking shots at the KING but your the one on here crying bout the ladies.. Let me guess.. You like girls.. Huh.. You one of them feminazi’s huh.. Oh wait every dude you had cheated on you and took a dump in your mouth.. Get over it Baby, Your past doesnt define you.. Step into the brand new and whatever happened in your past LET IT GO.. Breathe.. Cause everything in you past deserves to be there.. Hey Baby guess what.. Youre Beautiful. So Beautiful.. I want you to remember that because with the attitude you have now you wont ever even get a chance to be anyones wife so they can divorce you.
Melo
January 22nd, 2010
2:58 pm
I have no regrets…it gave me a measure against what I was use to. I was actually grateful for the past after it happened…hope he’s happy rubbing up the next woman…hope she’s happy too.
@lUVBUG??
Are u informercializing on ur own billboard??
seems like u got ur own story to tell…
What is it??
Raqi…Baby love, My baby love, I need you, Oh, how I need you
January 22nd, 2010
2:58 pm
I will say if the mistress was expecting something different after 8.5 years she was fooling herself.
Leggs
January 22nd, 2010
2:59 pm
I’d rather get back to Zane/Raqi!
I am whatever you say I am
January 22nd, 2010
3:00 pm
@DreamsMaterialize – Are you ready for the weekend? I’m so happy my faucets are fixed. No more leaky water! No more fear of high water bill!!!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!
On the billboard jumpoff- $50,000 * 3 cities is a lot to be spending to air dirty laundry. I think the only person made a fool of was her for doing it.
THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING
January 22nd, 2010
3:00 pm
Baby don’t you
Baby don’t you know
You’re so beautiful (beautiful, beautiful)
Baby don’t you know
You’re so beautiful
Baby don’t you
Baby don’t you know
You’re so beautiful
Baby don’t you
Baby don’t you know
You’re so beautiful
Cemeeli
January 22nd, 2010
3:00 pm
Catch that SassaFrass.
I am whatever you say I am
January 22nd, 2010
3:01 pm
also regarding the wife: some women don’t care what a man does as long as $$$$ keeps flowing in.
Ask Kobe’s wife
Leggs
January 22nd, 2010
3:03 pm
@i am ~ have to agree with you and glad your leaky pipes are fixed. Hear that DreamsM, she fixed her pipes so if you hear any other mention from her, you know she’s talking about internal plumbing.
Leggs
January 22nd, 2010
3:03 pm
hell ask Flava Flav’s woman!
SexyCool - Still Feeling Good
January 22nd, 2010
3:03 pm
I know I’m pleasing by the way he trembles and sighs as he’s whispering my name.
“Damn, C. You got me so hard right now.”
“You are so soft.”
“You are so wet.”
“You are so hot inside.”