It’s Your Own Fault
A group of us met up for dinner recently at Flip Burger Boutique to catch up with each other and nosh on some food. It didn’t take long before the topic turned to dating and sex. (They like to blame this on me, but I am rarely the one to bring it up).
Shauna was complaining about the fact that she was let down with how her new man “performed”. I thought she should cut him some slack. Things could improve and he probably was just as disappointed as she was. She said she wasn’t going to mention anything to him because she didn’t want to come across as bossy in bed.
One of the men told her not to let it go on for too long. If she ended up in a relationship with a man that didn’t satisfy her, it would be her own fault, not his. Of course, this sparked a debate about who was responsible for bad sex people are having.
Do you blame the people who lack bedroom skills or their partners that don’t tell them?
Of course the central argument for some was that people fake satisfaction too much to keep the peace and protect the egos. What do you think?
Should you bring up how to improve things in the bedroom when you have just started a relationship? Do you wait to see if it improves with time and umm… practice?
Happy Friday!
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330 comments Add your comment
Melo
January 22nd, 2010
12:50 pm
“don’t touch”?
@Luvbug??!
screwing without touching u..like that mecahanicsville guy was doing to u!
or the “hit job”,if u like! 
Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)
January 22nd, 2010
12:50 pm
a lot of his “experience” was doing it in different places and nailing (rough housing and/or rabbiting)
Melo
January 22nd, 2010
12:51 pm
The mistress looks good too
@EPO??
thats what i thoght initially……
untill i saw that bikini pic of her at sea….
I changed my mind…..what was he feeding her those 8 years??
East Point's Own
January 22nd, 2010
1:03 pm
Oncet ta giin.. I don’t see da problem with the bikini pic, especially the topless one. Are we looking at the same pics??? LoL
But she is looking pretty crazy now with all these billboards and putting their life on the web like that, she is acting like the man and his wife were not seperated. I mean I don’t see the big deal, other than the fact that she feels like a fool for dating a man she thought was getting a divorce…But really most folks in the world would have never known if she had not posted billboards. She created this embarrasing situation.
M. (pronouced M dot)
January 22nd, 2010
1:08 pm
@Sassy
Ok. My friends are contractors for the CDC. Are they working you nerves or is everyone getting along? Very much so a bottleneck at times.
@Melo
I was just trying to put it in terms everyone could understand.
@For Real
It’s not about trying to protect anything but it is about not falling for the okiedoke. The 30 min thing was a joke.
@DreamsMaterialize
I respect your opinion to. We still have that right to express it any way we see fit.
@Raqi
You asked what I was talking about, I was saying how age doesnt necessarily equal wisdom. We have alot of people who are old and think they know it all. That’s what I was saying.
Ok. I addressed everybody.
Raqi…Baby love, My baby love, I need you, Oh, how I need you
January 22nd, 2010
1:10 pm
Sassy, what I am awaiting is all man meat. Engorged, solid, throbbing while massaging the silky warm lining of…
Let me stop. LOL
Tazzee - still praying for Haiti
January 22nd, 2010
1:12 pm
Melo – no superbowl party for me. This is the first year in a long time when I don’t like any of the teams in the SB. I REALLY don’t want the Saints to go, so I’m rooting for the Vikes this weekend.
Leggs
January 22nd, 2010
1:16 pm
@Raqi ~ I encouraged cuz I thought I could handle it, but your 1:10 has me, let’s just say……
Cemeeli
January 22nd, 2010
1:17 pm
@Sassy – Okay maam. I think i’ll try my skills at some swiss chard this weekend.
@Tazzee – I’m the last one standing.
as far as the SuperBowl…i would just love to be in the mix for all the festivities. Plus it’s in Florida, my other favorite place.
Tazzee - still praying for Haiti
January 22nd, 2010
1:28 pm
Cemeeli – you should go down there, enjoy the festivities. If I go to a SB party, it has to be the kind I normally hate – where folks are playing cards, talking and little focus is on the game, LOL
Raqi…Baby love, My baby love, I need you, Oh, how I need you
January 22nd, 2010
1:31 pm
LOL Leggs. Sorry.
I have been here 7 hours already and I am ready to go. Some of these people are about to drive me to drink.
Cemeeli
January 22nd, 2010
1:32 pm
“Oncet ta giin”…HA!
…it’s quiet…What happened?
Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)
January 22nd, 2010
1:32 pm
all man meat. Engorged, solid, throbbing while massaging the silky warm lining of…
Now see there iRaq you trying to start some stuff talking like that…but I hopes you get puhlenty
M.dot I don’t let the folks here get on my nerves…anymore. I just look at the bigger picture and keep it moving.
CeeMee I just wanted to do sumthing different this weekend. I love me some lemon pepper wangs but I think I’m wanged out(that sounds nasty doesn’t it). Anyhoo, I digress….
PRINCESSNIK
January 22nd, 2010
1:33 pm
@Raqi ~ you should really try writing an erotic novel cause you surely have the lingo down, they guys keep walking by my office trying to figure out what i’m laughing about
Leggs
January 22nd, 2010
1:35 pm
FYI ~ She paid approximately $50,000 each for the billboards – one in New York Times Square, one in Atlanta, and one in San Francisco where Wilkins lives.
Raqi…Baby love, My baby love, I need you, Oh, how I need you
January 22nd, 2010
1:36 pm
LOL Sassy, Me too. I hopes I get pah-len-tee. And the boy is not home this weekend either…
Cemeeli
January 22nd, 2010
1:36 pm
@ Tazzee – Yea, I know those kind of SB parties. Lol…but that reminds me of my sister, She and my brother in law had SP parties EVERY year right up until they started having babies. And at that time she was 36, while he was 39, they’d been married 7 years already.
I gotta remind her…she has sold out to them babies, and forgot all about her famous SuperBowl parties.
Leggs
January 22nd, 2010
1:36 pm
FYI ~ Charles E. Phillips, an advisor to US President Barack Obama!
kinderbabe--TGIF!!
January 22nd, 2010
1:36 pm
@Leggs–I just finished reading that article….wow! girlfriend wasn’t playin’! lol
Cemeeli
January 22nd, 2010
1:37 pm
I know you Tazzee really watch the game…while all the other rukus is going on.
A true football fan at heart.
Raqi…Baby love, My baby love, I need you, Oh, how I need you
January 22nd, 2010
1:38 pm
PRINCESSNIK, it’s not just lingo, it’s the real thing. LOL
Leggs
January 22nd, 2010
1:38 pm
Blog topic = It’s your own fault….well, it’s his fault for being so careless and comfortable!
DreamsMaterialize
January 22nd, 2010
1:38 pm
I am whatever wassup girl. you looking for me? cmon over here.
Melo I’m lmao at the “quick hits video”
you got the gift of embellishment man, like a griot. lol
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
1:38 pm
Guess it’s all her fault now? Amazing
Cemeeli
January 22nd, 2010
1:43 pm
@ SassaFrass – I feel you on the wangs and thangs. Speaking of…’m having my treat day tomorrow at the baby shower (wings and meatball should def. be there!) and then again at the book club meeting they girls are catering Chinese and Thai cuisine.
@ Leggs – They’ve been emailing me to make sure i come. And I got one this a.m. asked me is my “plan” okay to have asain food. That was nice….
Raqi…Baby love, My baby love, I need you, Oh, how I need you
January 22nd, 2010
1:44 pm
My babysitter just called to confirm the time I need her to arrive tonight. I don’ got myself all flustered I forgot we were going out tonight. LOL
DreamsMaterialize
January 22nd, 2010
1:45 pm
Guess it’s all her fault now? Amazing
Just Saying Did really the read the posts? You know that’s not what everyone is saying…cut that out.
Raqi…Baby love, My baby love, I need you, Oh, how I need you
January 22nd, 2010
1:47 pm
an advisor to US President Barack Obama
Leggs, I can’t understand why these folks just allow themselves to be photographed. Do they not realize they just incriminate themselves?
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COMMON DENOMINATOR
January 22nd, 2010
1:48 pm
Ok who sings the song.. I want you to know youre beautiful..
Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)
January 22nd, 2010
1:51 pm
I don’ got myself all flustered I forgot we were going out tonight.
That’s alright chirl…you two will be coming home at some point….bom-chick-a-waw waw
abc
January 22nd, 2010
1:52 pm
To reduce sex to the mechanics of it shortchanges what it’s really all about.
If sex is unsatisfying, it’s more than likely that one or both parties really aren’t that into each other. Otherwise, sex would be something that they actively pursued in terms of what satisfies the other person as the main motivation.
Plainly, if the sex is unsatisfying, then you probably shouldn’t be having sex with them anyway, as a moral issue, much less the aspect of wasting your time in bed with them due to their supposed lack of ’skills’.
Leggs
January 22nd, 2010
1:54 pm
@Raqi, you have me cracking up. That was funny. Your blue lips have you forgetting about the babysitter and a nite out…that’s rich!
He got too comfortable and why not, he’s been in for 8.5 years later. That’s where he messed up, he never should have gotten comfortable if he never planned on leaving his wife.
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COMMON DENOMINATOR
January 22nd, 2010
1:54 pm
Man if your Folks dont know how to Rock Their Hips by now.. Come on with the jokes.. Yeah the occasional nervous poof happens to all of us but seriously.. You gotta shock the Monkey when you get on..
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COMMON DENOMINATOR
January 22nd, 2010
1:58 pm
Nevermind Musiq.. So Beautiful..
Raqi…Baby love, My baby love, I need you, Oh, how I need you
January 22nd, 2010
1:59 pm
Sassy, yeah makes from some extra flirting opportunities to help build up the expectations. From showering, to getting dressed to riding in the car to exchanging looks from across the room.
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:00 pm
@DreamsMaterialize Did really the read the posts
Yes sir I did. I was just amazed at someone saying she’s embarrassing herself and implied she’s less than a lady for blasting. She quit being a lady when she entered into the affair. Long before the billboards happened, when they consumated, that mess hit the sidewalks then. She’s just kicking it around now. I’m sure sometime somewhere during his day he’s not exactly proud right about now either.
PRINCESSNIK
January 22nd, 2010
2:01 pm
@ abc “If sex is unsatisfying, it’s more than likely that one or both parties really aren’t that into each other.”
that is definately true! when i’m into a guy it doesn’t matter if we only have 15 minutes or if we have all night, we both gonna enjoy it.
@sassy ….”bom-chick-a-waw waw”
toooooo funny
Raqi…Baby love, My baby love, I need you, Oh, how I need you
January 22nd, 2010
2:01 pm
Leggs, 8.5 years? He got comfortable long time ago. At 8.5 years he just stopped caring.
Tazzee - still praying for Haiti
January 22nd, 2010
2:03 pm
Infamous – that’s the ringtone for when my fiance’ calls. Although I might have to change it to The Point of It All.
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:04 pm
she is acting like the man and his wife were not seperated.
Ummmm, SO DID HE. On the yacht, the love letters – SIGNED BY HIM, the money he spent, the years he spent, the sex he had. But you’re right, what a strumpet she is
Cemeeli
January 22nd, 2010
2:04 pm
…some’n was posted that i didn’t read.
Who got got?
Cemeeli
January 22nd, 2010
2:06 pm
The Point of It All. – Taken! lol…now you know.
but us share.
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COMMON DENOMINATOR
January 22nd, 2010
2:08 pm
Ok that chick knew she was the jumpoff so dont be trying to go public with it now.. You werent trying to go public when you were sleeping with that lady’s husband.. Oh now you wanna feel some kinda way about the situation after he didnt leave his wife for you like he said he was gonna do.. Thats apart of the game.. Thats the number 1 lie told by cheating husbands.. Number 2. We’re just not happy at home.. You lose you self respect when you sleep with someones husband/wife and deserve whatever comes to you because its bad energy.
Leggs
January 22nd, 2010
2:08 pm
Yeah, I realized he got comfortable way before then. Let’s go with he just stopped caring!
DreamsMaterialize
January 22nd, 2010
2:08 pm
Just Saying my bad. I thought you were talking about the blog topic. My fault. Now are you calling me “Sir” because you respect me, or are you just being facetious? lol
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR COMMON DENOMINATOR
January 22nd, 2010
2:11 pm
Tazzee – That song has been hitting me all of sudden.. It must be because mating season is right around the corner.. You know the Spring time..
Melo
January 22nd, 2010
2:12 pm
She paid approximately $50,000 each for the billboards
Im not so sure what shes achieving by doing that,other than showing to everybody that shes aggrieved.
Hes back with his woman.Not divorced……
She looking like a used condom..kinda wrapped and ruffled up and in da garbage!
Thats how these things always end up like,esp for black folks…
Bill campell=still married
Bill clinton=still married
Vernon jones=still kicking it
Melo
January 22nd, 2010
2:15 pm
To reduce sex to the mechanics of it shortchanges what it’s really all about
abc??
that sounds more like a defence of “missionary sexx”!
style and substance matters!
Just saying
January 22nd, 2010
2:17 pm
I’m so glad God is God and don’t view things the way society and hypocritical folks does. People KILL me when something of this nature happen. In the eyes of the GREAT ALMIGHTY, they’re BOTH responsible. He dont’ get a pass cause she’s a ho. That’s why he’s on blast. Not because she’s a jumpoff and whore, because he’s married and should have thought about that 8.5 years ago. We dodge a bullet eh, seeing we answer to the ALMIGHTY.
DreamsMaterialize – ONLY because respect you! lol
Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)
January 22nd, 2010
2:19 pm
8.5 years? He got comfortable long time ago. At 8.5 years he just stopped caring.
My questions along with that is 1. Did his wife NOT know? and 2. If she did know is she really going to take him back? Good gracious he’s flaunted his misteress all around and now that he’s bored with that he decides to go back to the wife and whoomp there it is?….did he really think it was going to be that simple
iRaq girl by the time y’all get to it you two gone be actin like wild animals. I’m rooting for ya!!