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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

It’s Your Own Fault

A  group of us met up for dinner recently at Flip Burger Boutique to catch up with each other and nosh on some food.  It didn’t take long before the topic turned to dating and sex.  (They  like to blame this on me, but I am rarely the one to bring it up).

Shauna was complaining about the fact that she was let down with how her new man “performed”.  I thought she should cut him some slack. Things could improve and he probably was just as disappointed as she was.  She said she wasn’t going to mention anything to him because she didn’t want to come across as bossy in bed.

One of the men told her  not to let it go on for too long.  If she ended up in a relationship with a man that didn’t satisfy her, it would be her own fault, not his. Of course, this sparked a debate about who was responsible for bad sex people are having.

Do you blame the people who lack bedroom skills or their partners that don’t tell them?

Of course the central argument for some was that people fake satisfaction too much to keep the peace and protect the egos. What do you think?

Should you bring up how to improve things in the bedroom when you have just started a relationship? Do you wait to see if it improves with time and umm… practice?

Happy Friday!

330 comments Add your comment

Willie Dynamite

January 22nd, 2010
10:17 am

Sassy – I’ll take “I hurt my neck” Alex for 1000. What is …. :roll:

Cemeeli

January 22nd, 2010
10:19 am

We have a “Recipe of the week” blog/in-office messaging group, and someone just posted Egyptian Spiced Chicken, using cummin and peppercorn.

hmmmm….Sunday dinner is going to be spic-Y!~

back to regular bloggin’

Raqi

January 22nd, 2010
10:20 am

And Leggs it’s not even about the orgasm. Damn the orgasm. But it’s about wanting him. Aunt Flow took a standby flight and got here early. Although she was only here for a few days I got sick after that. I got to feeling better and you know…

I was so looking forward to having him. He started it yesterday at lunch.

I was looking forward to feeling the pressure of his weight on me.

Feeling that strong left hand gripping my right thigh. The sound of his moan. The smell of flesh. The taste of his lips. The thrust of his….

Hell I can give my own self an orgasm. It’s him that I want.

Last night was a no go. Then I get that dreaded phone call this morning that I needed to get here super early ‘cause somebody screwed up the simplest of tasks so this morning was out.

It just beez like that sometime. I just want him. I’ve had him many many times over and over again. But I want him. Bad. I guess I am weird like that.

But he promised and I know he is going to come thru.

End of vent.

Imma go down to the cafe and get a cheese danish now.

Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)

January 22nd, 2010
10:21 am

Leeeeaaaave me aloooone Willie (said in my best Lil Darryl voice).

Leggs

January 22nd, 2010
10:22 am

@Cee ~ all of the leagues are real to the kids running. What distance is she running?? Tell the parent(s) to go with a blanket, stadium chair or folding chair with cooler of things she likes to eat and drink. Those concession stands will rob you!. It’s going to be chilly.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 22nd, 2010
10:22 am

@Raqi & everyone

I only have one question, what do guys really get out of a physical interaction with a woman?

Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)

January 22nd, 2010
10:26 am

iRaq that last post read like an excerpt from a Zane novel.

CeeMee that recipe sounds good….me likes it spicey. Do you care to share your recipe? If you don’t want put it on the blog I can give you my email addy.

Leggs

January 22nd, 2010
10:28 am

@Raqi ~ although it’s been a minute, I can identify (lol). You have me cracking up over here….go girl and keep wanting that man of yours! When you stop wanting, something is truly amiss!

@M. ~ that answer will vary depending upon the man. For some a physical interaction doesn’t necessary entail penetration. There are so many levels to your question.

SexyCool - Still Feeling Good

January 22nd, 2010
10:28 am

Raqi – here, here. Because for all the planning I did for sex and the very explicit text message about it that I sent yesterday, I had a birthday party to go to early evening. By the time I called TheDude around 10p, he didn’t answer. He called me right around midnight apologizing because he’d fallen asleep waiting for me to call. (He only got four hours of sleep the night before messing with me. :) )

He still came over just to sleep with me last night. And that’s all we did. Sleep. And this morning, he was kind of congested. So, I got up at 530a, got him some orange juice and Sudafed and reset the alarm for the latest possible time so he could sleep as long as he could before work. So, no horizontal happenings this morning either.

But even so, I feel like I’m walking around with a pocket of sunshine – just because he warms me up from the inside out like that.

I feel good – like the sun is shining just for me. lol!

SexyCool - Still Feeling Good

January 22nd, 2010
10:29 am

M.Dot – huh? You’re a dude. You should be able to answer that question.

Leggs

January 22nd, 2010
10:31 am

@SassyMe ~ I too had Zane in mind when I got to his left hand gripping her right thigh. I quickly shook my head, shivered a little and quickly read the rest! :lol:

@Cee ~ I meant a cooler full of stuff THEY (the parents) like to eat.

Melo

January 22nd, 2010
10:32 am

complaining about the fact that she was let down

SHAUNA is a SELFISH WOMAN……!!!

i be back to tell u why!

geed merning folks! :lol:

Cemeeli

January 22nd, 2010
10:32 am

@ Leggs. I guess i’ll walk up right when it time for niece. I’m not sure…my sister called me lastnight and i was cooking. I meant to call her back for details…I need to call her. All i know it’s at Salem tomorrow in the morning.

Leggs

January 22nd, 2010
10:33 am

because he warms me up from the inside out like that.

Such a nice read! I’m happy for you SexyC!

Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)

January 22nd, 2010
10:34 am

I only have one question, what do guys really get out of a physical interaction with a woman?

:shock:

And this question is coming from a man?…..umm…err…aaahh :roll:

M. (pronuced M dot)

January 22nd, 2010
10:35 am

@SexyCool

Of course I have my answer, but I was trying to get dialogue from everyone else about what they think.

I think guys have to be careful who they deal with. We deal with the wrong woman and our check is getting garnished.

I think the physical interaction is just 30 minutes of entertainment. The same as watching family guy.

Willie Dynamite

January 22nd, 2010
10:35 am

Lets see yesterday Mother Nature did her part and now the Scorecard;
Raqi – No
SC – No
Sassy – hell yeah
TBD on the rest

I am whatever you say I am

January 22nd, 2010
10:35 am

Oh wow! This is a sensitive topic.
I will keep it short
You are held responsible if you are not happy and don’t say a word to the person.
The person is held responsible if after you have spoken to them their is no effort on their part to make a change.
But beware, they may not know how to and you have to be careful with how you tell the person there is an issue so they can be receptive to change.
Finally, you have to show, teach, etc…the person what it is you are looking for.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Cemeeli

January 22nd, 2010
10:36 am

SassaFrass – I can forward it to you …we share them in Word format.

But here’s the ingredients – Egyptian Spiced Chicken

1/4 cup sliced almonds
1/4 cup sesame seeds
2 teaspoons cumin seeds
2 tablespoons fresh thyme
1 teaspoon black peppercorns
2 large egg whites, lightly beaten
4 (4-ounce) boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons olive oil
Nonstick cooking spray

SexyCool - Still Feeling Good

January 22nd, 2010
10:36 am

M.Dot – I’ve seen Family Guy. You should be having better sex.

Leggs

January 22nd, 2010
10:36 am

The 200MM is the longest race cuz there usually are so many teams. Pls let me know how it all turns out!

DreamsMaterialize

January 22nd, 2010
10:36 am

Any of the other ladies feeling like Raqi this morning? Get at me. Better ask about that 8:22. ;-)

Raqi

January 22nd, 2010
10:39 am

Mdot, you mean other than a slippery chamber to slide his member in? That would depend on the relationship of he and that woman.

See go back and read my comment to Leggs. If the guy wants that woman it is more than just a wet ride. It’s the feeling that he gets from being with her. Being inside of “that” woman. Having “that” woman touch him. The thrill of pleasuring and being pleasure by “that” woman.

Only you can answer that question for yourself about you and said woman’s physical interaction.

And if you cannot get with that then I will give you the basic answer, to make babies. That’s the first main purpose of sexual intercourse. To be fruitful and multiply. Man to know woman and procreate.

Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)

January 22nd, 2010
10:39 am

I too had Zane in mind when I got to his left hand gripping her right thigh. I quickly shook my head, shivered a little and quickly read the rest!

Leggs OKAY?!…chile got me comtemplating already and it ain’t even noon.

because he warms me up from the inside out like that

How sweet…that’s what’s up Sexy.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 22nd, 2010
10:41 am

@SexyCool

I meant that it’s not the end all be all. Its just entertainment. Not an asset, not a tangible. Its the same as going to see a movie, a play, you are being entertained then its back to normal.

With the check garnishment thing, a guy gets a woman he thought was cool, then finds out she wasnt and now he is in court. All in all, guys just have to be more selective because women have more to gain from a interaction that we do. For us, entertainment, for them, playing the lottery.

I just think guys shouldnt put so much value on it because its really just entertainment. But also on the flip side, some guys, their entire existence is based on the cookie. That’s why we have tricks, captain save a women, etc.

Actually, I saw a comedian last year who put it all in perspective. He said women, when a guy reaches the high point, for those 5 minutes, he needs you the least lol. That was funny.

SexyCool - Still Feeling Good

January 22nd, 2010
10:43 am

M.Dot – With age will come more wisdom, better insight and a real love that will teach you what the interaction CAN be at times, but is not meant to be every time.

Raqi

January 22nd, 2010
10:44 am

SexyCool, yeah I feel you on that.

When he finally came upstairs I was watching Private Practice and figured by the time he takes a shower it will be gone off. When he came out of the shower his brother called again and before I knew it I had fallen asleep watching the news.

Right now I have his promise and his words are better than gold with me.

LOL It’s all good.

Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)

January 22nd, 2010
10:46 am

>I think the physical interaction is just 30 minutes of entertainment. The same as watching family guy.

That’s a traveshamockery

Willie Dynamite

January 22nd, 2010
10:46 am

DreamsM – I’m with you bruh on that 1036, I may havta start taking applications for secrets like Xscape.

Melo

January 22nd, 2010
10:46 am

For us, entertainment, for them, playing the lottery

:lol: :lol:

Cemeeli

January 22nd, 2010
10:47 am

@ Leggs – I have those soccer/football game chairs and a bleacher fold away chiar i bought at a book fair. And li Cee has a cooler that’s a backpack he likes to take that thing for his own use…i’ll just stick me some goodies in there and tag along his I pod touch.

Should be fun…my gf in Conyers babyshower’s right after the game i have to leave early.

Dan - moving away from gray and back to black

January 22nd, 2010
10:48 am

@Mdot

You slacking on your pimping if you in court behind a chick….point blank.

No way she should access to that kind of info until y’all are heading down the aisle homie….

As for the “entertainment” portion of it, your youth is showing.

Having been with a woman that made you feel like a THE man, I can tell you it’s crack. You want that isht again and again.

Raqi

January 22nd, 2010
10:49 am

I’ve seen Family Guy. You should be having better sex.

LMAO

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 22nd, 2010
10:49 am

@SexyCool

“With age will come more wisdom, better insight and a real love that will teach you what the interaction CAN be at times, but is not meant to be every time.”

This statement is kind of contradicting in a way; but ok. Define a real love exactly in regards to this statement.

“a real love that will teach you what the interaction CAN be at times, but is not meant to be every time.”

Raqi

January 22nd, 2010
10:53 am

Mdot, it is not just entertainment. It’s a bonding process. Why do you think folks catch feelings when they do it a number of times with the same person? You are bonding on more than a physical level.

Leggs

January 22nd, 2010
10:53 am

@I am ~ “The person is held responsible if after you have spoken to them their is no effort on their part to make a change.” Ok, that person is held accountable for ending the relationship because no one in their right mind would stay if the fireworks between the sheets are a dud!!

Professor

January 22nd, 2010
10:53 am

I am in and out of meetings, but Dan you never heard me say I wait on what’s for me, but I will tell you what is not for me and that is a broke man.

Hey Leggs, Melo and Dream_n

Sassy Me....Exhaling :-)

January 22nd, 2010
10:54 am

CeeMee hit me up at gyz3@cdc.gov. Thank ya ever so kindly. :)

Raqi

January 22nd, 2010
10:56 am

Mdot, I am not saying this to fire shots or anything at you but reading you surely sounds like you have been disappointed a lot when it comes to women. The questions you ask just shows let down or disappointment.

Professor

January 22nd, 2010
10:58 am

@MYTWO~I think your statement may have been for someone else.

Willie Dynamite

January 22nd, 2010
10:58 am

Mdot – If I may ask a observation, few questions and maybe a suggestion. Based solely off of reading some of your posts and ?’s lately.
I take it you are in your mid-late 20’s. You’ve had MORE than your fair share. You met a few that you thought were the One but it fizzled. Now you are at the point you dont want pointless sex. It seems as though you are searching for a purposeful meaning for all of it. All of this is resulting in you coming off as very vulnerable.

Just try to dialogue with you a bit, Am I off base?

Raqi

January 22nd, 2010
10:58 am

Leggs and Sassy, Zane huh? I am glad I left out the part about wet tongue and firm nipples. LOL

Cemeeli

January 22nd, 2010
11:01 am

SassaFrass – It has been sent.

Leggs

January 22nd, 2010
11:01 am

@Cee ~ Don’t forget to pack a couple bottles of water. You do get thirsty sitting there and cut up some fruit for yourself and perhaps make urself some sandwich wraps.

Ok folks, my horoscope said that I’m going to meet someone in my neighborhood that will have my heart soaring…I need to find my sleeping bag cuz I don’t want to be inside when he strolls by.

Leggs

January 22nd, 2010
11:02 am

@Raqi ~ thank you kindly ma’am!

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 22nd, 2010
11:03 am

@Dan

Its not about slacking. How many guys that are dealing with child support cases now knew when they laid down that they would end up in court? NONE.

“As for the “entertainment” portion of it, your youth is showing.”

There’s no issue of age or anything. It’s about control. Dan it seems like you managed to get whipped a couple of times but that’s cool if you in love.

You said “Having been with a woman that made you feel like a THE man, I can tell you it’s crack. You want that isht again and again.”

Is that a cool way of saying you let her and her package get the best of you? My angle was that you can have all this stuff as long as you dont lose control.

@Raqi

“Why do you think folks catch feelings”

I think they catch feelings because they put all their eggs into one basket and when the eggs break, thats when someone is getting their windows busted out lol.

@Sassy Me

I saw the @cdc.gov. Do you work for a goverment contractor or cdc directly?

SexyCool - Still Feeling Good

January 22nd, 2010
11:03 am

At some point, you will find yourself in a place where you transition from fckng or just having sex or watching Family Guy to making love to her, bonding (as Raqi pointed out). Showing through your actions what you feel for her from your heart. And that won’t happen everytime you are with her because sexual relations within a relationship has different meanings, uses, needs at different times. So, no, everytime you have sex with The One, it will not be a “We-were-as-one-soul.” experience. But when you have it, you will know.

Raqi

January 22nd, 2010
11:03 am

WillieD, I agree with you about Mdot. The thing that he probably don’t understand or don’t want to accept is that no matter who it is he gets with he is taking a gamble. Life is about taking risk. The only thing in life that is guaranteed is taxes and death. Other than that we all are taking risks.

Leggs

January 22nd, 2010
11:06 am

“How many guys that are dealing with child support cases now knew when they laid down that they would end up in court? NONE.”

I don’t know about that one. Some of them knew from jumpstreet they were laying down with skanks.

SexyCool - Still Feeling Good

January 22nd, 2010
11:07 am

And when they travelled out of the darkness into a bright place, they marvelled because they had not known that they were without the light of knowledge.