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Flirting or Friendly?

I’m not the type that thinks a man is always trying to hit on me when he pays me a little attention. Sometimes, a guy is genuinely being kind or chivalrous.  This also means that I have probably missed a couple of flirting signals.

I can tell when a guy is “checking me out” as it were, but flirting..well, let’s just say that guys have told me they had to work overtime before I realized they were actually flirting with me.  I am talking about the type of flirting that should alert me to the fact that they were interested.

How can a woman tell a man is flirting with her? What are the signs?

Guys, are there times when you are really just being cordial or friendly? Should women take any male interaction as a sign he is interested or attracted?  How do women distinguish from a friendly encounter to a flirty one?

Ladies, do you have a hard time recognizing flirtatious behavior from men? Does it ever come across as  random “peacock” behavior when they are showing off whatever asset they believe impresses women?  Do you think that works?

120 comments Add your comment

Jeff

January 19th, 2010
8:23 am

Should be interesting to see the ego responses to this one

Fred G. Sanford, Jr.

January 19th, 2010
8:42 am

If guy doesn’t ask for a phone number or other contact info, don’t read too much into his actions. Even if he is interested, if he’s not willing to step up and take things further, then it’s probably not worth trying to figure out.

LoveLife411

January 19th, 2010
8:46 am

I admit I’m clueless.. I agree Fred. I’ve had men stare me down, smiling all the while never approach. I was out recently and at one point thought the guy was going to approach but I got the sense he was well conflicted… I don’t do conflicted folks, obviously there’s something else going on there.

DreamsMaterialize

January 19th, 2010
8:54 am

Morning
Flirting should usually result in some sort of action being taken, like getting a number or asking for a date. If a guy doesn’t obviously try to close the deal, then don’t read too much into it, unless you’re interested…they you close the deal.

kinderbabe

January 19th, 2010
8:58 am

i agree w/fred and dreams. good mewning all!:)

Silky Johnson

January 19th, 2010
9:13 am

Sometimes we use flirting as a gauge to judge a females interest in us. If she is receptive to our flirting then thats a green light to swing for the fences. If shes not receptive then ball 4 takes your bases, and walk away. If a guy approaches you, flirts but does not try and close the deal it could be because: A. He didn’t think you were into him, so why ask B. “He’s just not into you” C. He realized your friend is cuter.

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
9:16 am

@Silky Johnson
a hot mess!!!! LMAO but somewhat true!!!!
Morning Folks!

CoolShadow

January 19th, 2010
9:21 am

The way you can a guy is flirting if he makes an attempt to continue communication beyond the initial conversation as Fred G. mentioned. I extend baseline cordiality to every woman but in flirtation mode I tend to make an effort to pay more attention to the flirtee and engage in interesting conversation or witty banter.

kinderbabe

January 19th, 2010
9:32 am

hey lady j! how’s your tuesday shaping up?

Run4life

January 19th, 2010
9:37 am

I’ve always bought into the philosphy that if a guy is interested then he will find some way to make that known to you. He will seek you out. All a woman has to do is be patient. If he doesn’t find a way, then he is really not that interested and may just be flirting for the ego trip.

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
9:38 am

Hey kb!!!!!! It is going well!!! a great start with a big smile, I can’t complain!!!! How are you doing my buddy???!!!???

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
9:40 am

@Run4life I also feel there is nothing in the world that can keep a man away from you if he is interested and wants more….shouting my chasing days are OVER for a man….Here I go boo and if he doesn’t come it’s all good….*serenity*!!!!!:)

kinderbabe

January 19th, 2010
9:45 am

@lady j…glad to hear it’s going well. i’m w/u, started the day with a smile,no complaints.:) it’s a short work week which is good! it’ll be a 2day wk week for me next week! so january is flying by.:) next thing we’ll look up and it’ll be the long valentine’s weekend (4 days)

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
9:51 am

KB you are on it and that is one of my fav long weekend!!!! Continue to enjoy your day!!! I must say January has become friendly now MARCH is a another story!!!!!:)

Lothario

January 19th, 2010
9:54 am

Hey Lady J, you’re kind of cute. Do you come here often?

RCH

January 19th, 2010
9:59 am

Can’t there be verbal interaction between the sexes without the shadow of “more” in their thoughts?

I enjoy the conversation with many females, many of them married for the pleasure and entertainment. To me’ flirting can be defined more as a step by step process to percure a phone number or a date.

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
10:00 am

surface and shallow conversation always finds its way in I think RCH

Good Morning Lothario:)

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 19th, 2010
10:03 am

I was just thinking about this yesterday because I was volunteering and met a real attractive girl but she was kinda standoffish. I asked what she did for a living and she mentioned that she was job hunting. I mentioned that I had a friend in that field and I texted my friend to see if she had any leads, then suddenly she really opened up to me.

I think women shoot themselves in the foot alot because they think that every time a guy speaks to you or says hi in the bread aisle that they want to marry you. Some people are just having a good day and are in a good mood. Dont take this as them wanting to hit on you. It’s just them being courteous.

Sorry I Asked

January 19th, 2010
10:06 am

Men are flirting 24/7 365. If a woman is in doubt, he’s flirting. Don’t worry if he’s too old or too young, he’s flirting.

RCH

January 19th, 2010
10:08 am

Lady J,

If a man speaks to you about world events,politics, and sports bets are he is having a conversation with you. If he asks about your children,husband,or boyfriend he is probably testing the waters.

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
10:11 am

so true RCH I do understand and agree!

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
10:12 am

but my point is it doesn’t take long with detecting bs convo, I truly believe in the 4 min barrier…

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 19th, 2010
10:12 am

@Sorry I Asked

So are men flirting with every woman even the non attractive women?

Run4life

January 19th, 2010
10:12 am

@M. Sometimes men are just being courteous,and we may respond in a friendly manner. Then suddenly, they ask your name, and then phone number. Although I was only being friendly back to this stranger, I was definitely not interested (just not my type). So I then have to come up with a reason why I don’t give out my phone number. I don’t want to hurt his feelings after I have conversed with him for awhile (strictly in a neighborly fashion). All I’m saying is that there is a thin line between being courteous, and being flirty. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference.

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
10:14 am

M. you are right to…I turly believe people can conversate without wanting a daggone thing we do it daily but with dating and experience you can filter well if you learn from your past in my humble opinion…:)

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 19th, 2010
10:29 am

@Run4life

“So I then have to come up with a reason why I don’t give out my phone number.”

LOL this is funny because women always have an excuse about why they dont give out their number. Women are natural excuses makers lol.

Actually, if I meet someone who is cool in the bread aisle, I wouldnt pressure them or force myself on them. What I would do is just say “hey you seem cool, maybe we should grab a drink sometime. Here is my number. Give me a call tomorrow @ 830pm.” If she is interested, she will call. Or if she is not intersted, she may reject you right there, but hey, get over it and move on.

CoolShadow

January 19th, 2010
10:31 am

I think women shoot themselves in the foot alot because they think that every time a guy speaks to you or says hi in the bread aisle that they want to marry you.

True words; sometimes in the midst of being polite some women interpret a greeting as an approach and proceed to throw up attitude when you were only trying to say hello. And then you’re left wondering, ‘What’s up the attitude, I was only saying hello.’

All I’m saying is that there is a thin line between being courteous, and being flirty. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference.

That is why sometimes verbal confirmation of a person’s intentions is needed because a lot of people assume their non-verbal cues are universally apparent and understood when they’re not in the eye of the interpreter.

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
10:33 am

hmmmm could it be that simple M. I guess it could but hey….I guess some women meaning me over think simple stuff could be a bit guarded but oh well…still feel if he wants you nothing can keep him away he will step up and make it and and if she’s interested things will blossom…I think that is simple but I caould be again over thinking the simple act huh….hmmmm something to ponder on….smh laughing!

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
10:35 am

That is why sometimes verbal confirmation of a person’s intentions is needed because a lot of people assume their non-verbal cues are universally apparent and understood when they’re not in the eye of the interpreter.<———-Without verbal communication I feel we would be lost…It is ok to speak what you want this goes for both parties…

TexasBoy

January 19th, 2010
10:43 am

I would like to know do women think men are flirting with then when they hold door open for them? I know the ladies in my office building think men are holding the door open so they can just check out their butts.( that includes the elevator door too )

kinderbabe

January 19th, 2010
10:43 am

@ladyj when the chemistry is there and everything “clicks” there is a universal knowing that it’s right. b/c when some folks have a lot of slick talk and word games, it’s the nonverbal cues you’ll resort back to when filtering out the BS. you know?

Leggs

January 19th, 2010
10:45 am

Everyone flirts! It’s one of many ingredients the soul needs.

I’m with you M.

I remember being out and talking with a guy for quite some time. We laughed, had good convo but he never asked me for my number. I chalked it up to I simply wasn’t his cup of tea. No frowns, no worries.

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
10:47 am

I do know kb and glad you understand me and where I am coming from…i tell ya semantics! LOL

SexyCool

January 19th, 2010
10:47 am

I never assume a dude is flirting. I just think everybody is friendly (cause I’m not that hawt.) LOL!

Leggs

January 19th, 2010
11:05 am

@TexasBoy ~ I’ve heard that some women think men are flirting just by holding the door open and I think that’s crazy!

It’s one of the things that make me smile. Courtesy makes me smile no matter who dishes it out!

Well, people, got to go. I worked unto 7:45 last night only to get up this morning, drive into work and just about totaled my freaking car on LaVista Road!

A bad night moved into a bad morning! BB Later have to get it towed and damaged assessed! But, still smiling and laughing cuz neither party was injured!!

Professor is.....

January 19th, 2010
11:06 am

Hola!

Hey Dream_n, Melo and Leggs!

Lady J and Kinderbabe it is good to read y’all.

Long story short I agree with Fred G. Sanford, Silky and DreamsM.

BTW~For some reason I always miss the flirting signs, but I am a flirt myself even though I don’t try to be…I am a little flirt when it is all said and done and most guys just love flirting with me…they think it is cute :wink:

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
11:08 am

Thanks Professor right back @ ya and have a Terrific Tuesday!!!!:)

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR LOOK IN MY EYES

January 19th, 2010
11:21 am

If Im speaking to you and I dont know you.. Im flirting.. I stay Campaigning..

I believe a closed mouth wont get fed and I likes to eat..

kinderbabe

January 19th, 2010
11:26 am

thanks, professor!:) how have you been?

DreamsMaterialize

January 19th, 2010
11:29 am

so they can just check out their butts
I hold the door open for women because it’s a nice thing to do. Seeing their butts is a bonus. lol

I’m not upset when a woman has “attitude” or when she doesn’t acknowledge my chivalry. I know I approach every woman with respect. My approach might not be what makes her tick, but she can never say it lacked respect. So, if she has an attitude or decides not to acknowledge my courteous deed, that’s her issue, not mine.

Professor is.....

January 19th, 2010
11:29 am

Lady J it is a Terrific Tuesday, I am just busy, but I am loving this weather after the cold frigid cold weather we had a couple weeks ago.

Kinderbabe I am doing well, and I hope this school year is going great for you.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR LOOK IN MY EYES

January 19th, 2010
11:35 am

I dont know I like to flirt. Well let me clarify.. I just like meeting new people..

CoolShadow

January 19th, 2010
11:40 am

@ Professor

For some reason I always miss the flirting signs, but I am a flirt myself even though I don’t try to be…

Does that mean when you’re interacting with men that they take your cues as flirting with them?

Professor is.....

January 19th, 2010
11:43 am

@CoolShadow you got it! That is exactly what happens

LURKER ( Cobweb Remover)

January 19th, 2010
11:55 am

M.Dot…. Women who make excuses for not giving out the digits are just plain old liars. Flirting is just the beginning to obtaining a potential date for the future!

I am whatever you say I am

January 19th, 2010
12:07 pm

Flirting: Running out of his way to follow you out the store to fix the carpet you are about to step on as you walk out the store (dude followed me throughout the entire store when I walked in)
Not Flirting: Holding the door for you as you are both walking out
Flirting: Following you out of a store, asking to assist with bags, followed by phone number request
Not Flirting: Asking you about the item you are drinking while at an establishment.
Flirting: Buying you a drink
Not Flirting: Showing you how a machine at the gym works if you obviously appear dumbfounded
Flirting: While you are working out, coming over to show you how to lift weights properly and offerinng unsolicitated advice regarding workout routines, etc… While this may appear as friendly, it is all game according to my male personal trainer.

I am whatever you say I am

January 19th, 2010
12:10 pm

…..singing…..: When you see me in the club Imma flirt……….

SexyCool

January 19th, 2010
12:13 pm

My mother called me bourgeoius (sp?) this morning. I laughed out loud and told her that I was the product SHE created.

Elijah

January 19th, 2010
12:15 pm

Hello good folks of the blog world!

Hello Professor…So you are a flirtatious huh! I like that! :wink:

Since I am a gentlemen I could be considered a flirt, I will speak to and will converse with anyone! Their are a lot of ladies who are not use to being treated like a lady out here so flirting with them is easy!. If I am flirting with you I am going for those 9 numbers!

SexyCool

January 19th, 2010
12:16 pm

My mother called me bourgeoius (sp?) this morning. I laughed out loud and told her that I am the product SHE created.

CoolShadow

January 19th, 2010
12:20 pm

@ Professor

I’m curious; is there any differentiation between when you’re just interacting vs. flirting, i.e., do you make a conscientious effort to flirt or do you just leave the interpretation to others?

SexyCool

January 19th, 2010
12:21 pm

Blackberry blogging again. Sorry for the double posting.

SexyCool

January 19th, 2010
12:23 pm

@Elijah – dude, you’re going to need more than 9 digits.

DreamsMaterialize

January 19th, 2010
12:26 pm

I am whatever
I feel you, but I think you posted the extremes between flirting and not flirting. Flirting doesn’t have to be some dude falling all over himself, begging for a woman’s attention and company.

I saw a chick in the grocery store last week. We were both in the vegetable aisle, and she clearly wasn’t finding what she was looking for. So, I asked her what she was looking for. Said she was looking for bonnet peppers for a chili recipe. I told her habanero peppers would work just as well and asked jokingly what time I should show up for dinner. She laughed and we talked more about cooking and other things. I told her I didn’t want to hold her up but that I hoped we didn’t have to meet randomly in the vegetable aisle for us to talk again. Numbers were exchanged and that was it. I didn’t chase her out of the store, tap dancing, holding on to one leg begging for the number. lol

Lady J

January 19th, 2010
12:27 pm

see dreamsM that is what I am talking about….I’m sticking to what I want substance, consistency and time….that was a great short and sweet convo with results….good job!:)

I am whatever you say I am

January 19th, 2010
12:31 pm

Dream, I mentioned that because it was funny.
Especially since I didn’t notice him following me all around the motorcycle shop. I was with my boyfriend at the time and he noticed how this dude appeared out of nowhere following me (lurking).
My ex said that he peeped him staring at me. LOL

I think most people of sound nature are able to recognize the difference.
Just becausee someone is polite doesn’t necessary mean he is flirting however, if you willingly exchange in lengthy conversation and offer a phone number, he will glady take it.

Oh this is major game: A guy that give out his phone number but does not ask you for yours and walks away after doing so.

Sitting Pretty

January 19th, 2010
12:55 pm

Call it whatever you want…flirting or being friendly, there’s a thin line between the two. As it’s been said repeatedly today, just because someone is courteous/cordial (eg holding the door for you) it doesn’t mean they want anything from you. I just take that as good manners and a reminder that there are people out there that still have them (manners). I’m a friendly and it can be mistaken as flirting, but I think a man can usually tell the difference. I say be friendly/flirtatious….you may just be the bright spot in someone’s day. Just about everyone likes to feel flattered from time to time.

Professor is.....

January 19th, 2010
12:59 pm

@CoolShadow- I leave it to others to interpret, but I have been the same person that twist when walking and a little bit sassy since the age of five…

@Elijah- so you like that I am a flirt, huh? Does that mean you are going to deliever those wings soon with a hot Krispy Kreme doughnut on the side? :wink:

DreamsMaterialize

January 19th, 2010
1:03 pm

I am whatever
I have this image of dude peeking through wheel spokes and ducking under handlebars to get a look at you without being seen. HAHA

Oh and giving the business card without asking for the number in return has some major advantages. 1) It lets her know you’re obviously interested 2) It gives her an out if she’s not sure she wants to give her number out 3) If you don’t throw it out immediately, a business card tends to stick around for some time

good job!:)
I try. lol

For Real

January 19th, 2010
1:20 pm

What up Blog Fam!!

I think the first question that needs to be asked to clear the “flirting air” is women list the things a dudes does that you consider to be flirting. Cause I don’t consider buy you a drink to be flirting.

For Real

January 19th, 2010
1:27 pm

“Elijah – dude, you’re going to need more than 9 digits.” Elijah thought bubble (Soooooo that’s why they haven’t called me) Example of how Elijah gives his number out:

six-sevem-eight-fou-oh-sevem-quee-quee-eight

I am whatever you say I am

January 19th, 2010
1:31 pm

DREAMS- I think it’s game, leaves women wondering “how come he doesn’t want my number?” Reverse pyschology: put the urgency to call in the woman’s hands.
Dreams- I have a question: why is that if you are eating something good or shopping for grocery items, a guy always has to ask “Can I have some?” or “can you cook for me?”, “When can I come over?” etc…

From the receiving end , I’ve always found these lines to be so tired…..
I politely smile or laugh but in reality I’m thinking “Man, that line is so old. Couldn’t he have tried something different?”

Tazzee - praying for Haiti

January 19th, 2010
1:31 pm

Afternoon Folks!

I’m not upset when a woman has “attitude” or when she doesn’t acknowledge my chivalry. I know I approach every woman with respect. My approach might not be what makes her tick, but she can never say it lacked respect. So, if she has an attitude or decides not to acknowledge my courteous deed, that’s her issue, not mine.

DreamsM Love that!

Leggs I hope things work out with your car. Sorry you’re having to go through this.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 19th, 2010
1:35 pm

All,

Those with jobs should be fortunate to have them. But the question, is what do you all think if you meet someone who a great catch all around but they are currently unemployed? Women, are you cool dating Mr. Right, though he is not working?

Guy’s, are you cool dating Ms. Right, even though she is not working right now?

Run4life

January 19th, 2010
1:43 pm

I am not sure on this one. I don’t think I am that deperate to date someone that is unemployed. I guess since my income goes to funding the lifestyle of a 20 year old and 13 year old (that’s a different blog), that it is hard for me to want to fork over my money for all of our dating adventures.

DreamsMaterialize

January 19th, 2010
1:44 pm

I am whatever
They’re just ice breakers. I got in elevaror one day with some lunch, and a woman says, “Did you bring some for the rest of us?” I just figured it light convo to break the awkward silence in the elevator. I wasn’t thinking how “tired” that sounded. I mean, what would you suggest? I guess it’s easy for women to criticize guys for not being original because they’re never the ones who have to think of something “original”. Any random chick has been approached thousands of times in the course of her life. If you’re guy #3217, what’s the chances that your approach is completely different from 3216 who came before you? I mean really, how many truly “original” ways can a guy approach you? I mean I guess I could parachute out the sky, twirl a fire baton, and do a James Brown dance…

Willie Dynamite

January 19th, 2010
1:46 pm

Afternoon All,

I’m a friendly flirt. My conversation is flirtatious. Not that I’m really trying but I do get accused of being a big flirt. The wifey use to have a problem with this but she sees that its not intentional. I have noticed that I’m not good at it if I try to flirt. I leave the cheezy one liners alone and just converse. The back and forth witty banter during a conversation I can definitely get with.

kinderbabe

January 19th, 2010
1:46 pm

Mdot–i have been in that position before when Mr. Right wasn’t working. i was o.k. with it b/c of my dedication to the person. i know it doesn’t work for everyone but it can happen.

Willie Dynamite

January 19th, 2010
1:47 pm

Professor

January 19th, 2010
1:48 pm

@M. dot…great question on dating someone unemployed. I have read articles and saw a few programs on this topic. I will lurk a little to see what is said…

Professor

January 19th, 2010
1:49 pm

The James Brown dance would be nice…twirling the baton only if he is fine like Reggie Bush and take his clothes shirt off

kinderbabe

January 19th, 2010
1:50 pm

@Run4life…you know, i was just having that convo yesterday w/my guy. i told him that if i had children, there was no way i would date someone who didn’t have their duckets in order…lol. now, the reason i was able to date someone before who was unemployed was b/c they lost their job in the course of us dating AND i don’t have in children. but believe me, if i did, a brotha w/o a job would be a NO GO! lol

Professor

January 19th, 2010
1:53 pm

I think if I met someone unemployed and we clicked I would try to take things slow for a while or do the FZ

kinderbabe

January 19th, 2010
1:56 pm

@Run4life…thought i’d add that the convo i had was brought on by an episode of fantasia for real followed by let’s talk about pep…LOL. those shows are a trip!

DreamsMaterialize

January 19th, 2010
1:57 pm

MDot
If she’s Ms. Right as you put it, then the answer is an easy YES. See if she’s the right one for me then I know:
1) She has drive like I have drive
2) The unemployment situation is temporary
3) She’s doing everything she can to be in a situation where the relationship is not one sided

If I meet a chick and she’s unemployed because she’s in law school, I don’t see a problem. If she has a history of stable employment, but she’s laid off when I meet her, then we’re good. If she quit her job to get her business off the ground, then we can make it happen. This is always a one-sided question though because guys tend to be the primary earners in our society. There are many guys who don’t want their wives to work. It’s not a deal breaker for us, but for women…

CoolShadow

January 19th, 2010
1:58 pm

Guy’s, are you cool dating Ms. Right, even though she is not working right now?

I won’t hold a woman’s unemployment status against her is she’s indeed Ms. Right; they’re a lot of people involuntarily unemployed through no fault of their own right now. You have to assess where they were and where they’re going as far as getting back to being employed. If I have to solely financially support dating outings and activities, then the magnitude of the activities may have to be tempered.

However, in speaking casually with a few females about dating the unemployed, I got the general impression that some women won’t date unemployed men unless he was working when they met and have some sort of comfort in the man’s ambitions and that he won’t try to live off them.

kinderbabe

January 19th, 2010
2:02 pm

@coolshadow. you summed it up for me when you spoke of the circumstances in which it’s o.k. to be unemployed from a woman’s point of view. you’re right, i would def be most comfortable is the guy was working when we met and i knew enough about his character to know that he wasn’t in the market for a sugar mama…lol.

Sassy Me....oochie wally, wally :-)

January 19th, 2010
2:06 pm

The James Brown dance would be nice…twirling the baton only if he is fine like Reggie Bush and take his clothes shirt off

Ooh yes…yes…yes! That man is foine!

DreamsMaterialize

January 19th, 2010
2:06 pm

The James Brown dance would be nice…twirling the baton only if he is fine like Reggie Bush and take his clothes shirt off
Prof I know you’re just being facetious (maybe lol), but say a guy does all that. Then it becomes un-original for the next guy to do. So, now the next guy has to come with some extra different stuff to be considered “original”. And what is “original” anyway. Something you have never heard? Maybe it is original to the next. Anyway, I’ll take notes to enroll in that salsa class and fire-walking tutorial. lol Damn, can we write off expenses related to “being original” on our taxes? ;-)

Tazzee - praying for Haiti

January 19th, 2010
2:07 pm

On topic – I smile A LOT. Some mistake my smiling at them as flirting, but I’m just smiling. If a guy holds the door for me, I look him in the eyes, smile and say thank you. If I’m walking down the street and make eye contact with a guy, I smile and say hello. I love to smile at folks, but it’s just that – me smiling. Now if I touch a guy – then I’m flirting.

If I met a guy that was unemployed, I’d be like Professor – take it slow. I would want to know the circumstances surrounding his unemployment and then see how he handles his unemployment before entering into a romantic relationship with him. Is he actively looking for work? Can he handle the fact that I’m working? Does he have a problem with me paying for a date? Stuff like that…

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 19th, 2010
2:12 pm

@Dreams

You are right. If a guy met an unemployed woman, he can definately deal with her and understand the situation alot easier than a woman dealing with an unemployed man.

I met a woman yesterday who was cool and in the medical field so I know she is used to living a certain way. She was mentioning that 5 days a week are dedicated to job hunting.

Also one of my friends is unemployed but his gf is an Dr. with her own practice so these dynamics are different, but also he is finishing his MBA.

@Ladies,

How would you handle the dates knowing he cant take you out all the time? Will you get creative and do alot of free or in home dates and activities?

kinderbabe

January 19th, 2010
2:23 pm

@Mdot..planning would be key. i LOVE creative loafing. I would look under the happenings section and find out all the free events we could stand. lol. there are lots of things to do like free days at the High Museum, walks in the park, scrabble/monopoly nights, dinner/movie at home (or at friend’s houses). in the summer there are all types of neat festivals like wind down wednesday at centennial park and the auburn festival. it can definitely work when money is low.

Melo

January 19th, 2010
2:24 pm

M(dot) ur qstion is interesting in that,the person who only likes to be approahed by working dudes wld dump them(assuming there seeing one) the moment that dude gets laid off from their job! :lol:

Sassy Me....oochie wally, wally :-)

January 19th, 2010
2:37 pm

How would you handle the dates knowing he cant take you out all the time? Been there…done that. I’ve dated a person who just didn’t have the finances to go out like that and I didn’t have an issue doing dutch or treating sometimes. I also noticed how uncomfortable he was so I came up with different things to do(for the free and at home) that made it better for us both. Truth be told we had more fun on the dates we planned at home ;)

I agree with kinderbabe on this one b/c Creative Loafing is the bizness…it’s filled with a plethora of free things to do.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 19th, 2010
2:38 pm

@Melo

That’s a good point. They probably never dealt with that or arent expecting it so went it happens its like what now?

lurker

January 19th, 2010
2:43 pm

Well, before today I thought I knew but after reading the comments I’d say there have been times when I was being flirted with and didn’t recognize and times I thought someone was flirting but probably not.

However, I do agree with this If a man speaks to you about world events,politics, and sports bets are he is having a conversation with you. If he asks about your children,husband,or boyfriend he is probably testing the waters.

I don’t tend to flirt but I have no problem “flirting back” if you throw it out there. I’m sort of like, okay I’ll bite. I am seriously turned off if you’re an open obvious flirt. One that flirts with EVERYTHING breathing, in the open, for all to see. I tend to pass on those situations.

kimmie

January 19th, 2010
2:43 pm

How would you handle the dates knowing he cant take you out all the time? Been there…done that.

Me too, Sassy. I’ve actually had it happen twice – had the guy lose his job soon after we started dating. But something in your post was key “I also noticed how uncomfortable he was”. The issue is if the person is too comfortable and is not putting forth any effort to find a job. Drive, determination & ambition are attractive in a man. Fortunately, the guys I knew had some hustle. But yes, we got very creative with the dates and never missed a beat.

Willie Dynamite

January 19th, 2010
2:45 pm

Mdot – your ? goes back to the perception of the Good Man. MOST Women would like to know that a Dude is a provider. Granted he may be good with money mgmt, savings and whatnot he does not readily give the impression of being able to provide. However more importantly is how the Woman views his current job status. A dude that doesn’t have the ambition or get up and go couldn’t keep a GOOD woman no how. Dudes for the most part are more interested in is she good for me and does she have the GD tendencies. If you are looking for me to Sponsor you it wouldn’t matter to me whether you have a job or not, NEXT.

lurker

January 19th, 2010
2:46 pm

matter of fact, flirting is way sexy in my book, just not with all the chicks on the elevator, or the breakroom, or the lobby or the conference room, etc.

Run4life

January 19th, 2010
2:51 pm

@Mdot. Still a non-starter for me. I do not introduce my 13 year old to potential suitors. So having him hanging out at my house would not work. Just so you know, I dated a guy who was sorta working (mortage business) when I met him, but soon thereafter not working too often. He was at my house all the time, eating my steak, drinking my wine, etc. The last draw was when I had to buy my own birthday dinner. Not cool.

lurker

January 19th, 2010
2:59 pm

Sassy Me....I'm all in :-)

January 19th, 2010
3:02 pm

Kimmie the fact that I could see how me treating on dates made him uncomfortable spoke volumes b/c I knew he wasn’t trying run game and just wasn’t used to what I was doing. PLUS when it did come to the “at home” dates he went all extra,extra. ;)

Ballwood

January 19th, 2010
3:03 pm

Run4Life: “when I had to buy my own birthday dinner” – Awww come baby I told you I lost my wallet and besides you turned down my offer to use the $26.13 I had on my SNAP card.

Melo

January 19th, 2010
3:03 pm

Sorry guys!

Forgot to say,How about dem Popmpous, Dallas Cow-Girls!

And Keith Brooking wants Bret to slow down on scoring TDs.. :lol:

Hope he slows down, getting dem million$$ checks!

Professor is.....

January 19th, 2010
3:05 pm

DreamsM A man dancing and yelling like James Brown would be soooo funny and scary at the same time. I think you should try it at Publix and let us know what happens. See if the chick will give you her nine digits

:evil:

Professor is.....

January 19th, 2010
3:07 pm

Melo that nameless QB is still on the hunt for a ring…maybe this week they will be stopped! :evil:

Who said the Chargers all the way???? :roll:

I am going for the Vikings :grin:

Professor is.....

January 19th, 2010
3:10 pm

Will you get creative and do alot of free or in home dates and activities?

That can be tricky because I have to have a certain comfort level to invite someone into my home…I am all for the free dates. Shoot I do a lot of that now when the weather is right, or something good is going on…

Ballwood

January 19th, 2010
3:11 pm

“But yes, we got very creative with the dates and never missed a beat.” Such as:

1. Sock Puppets
2. Using the fashlight to make shadow puppets
3. Playing that’s my car while sitting in the parking lot of the restuarant he wants to take you to.
4. Thumb wrestling
5. Close your eyes and tell me what this smell like
6. Who can hold their breath the longest
7. Tick tag
8. Red-light green-light
9. Pitty-pat
10. Hide and go get
11. Spin the bottle
12. Jax

Professor is.....

January 19th, 2010
3:15 pm

Ballwood that is a good list…I really like #2, 3, 4, and 8. #2 is my favorite

Sassy Me....oochie wally, wally :-)

January 19th, 2010
3:15 pm

Run that dude sounded like a leech…sorry you had to go through that,especially with the birthday dinner….bummer :(

Professor is.....

January 19th, 2010
3:17 pm

Ok, are we still on page one? If so we need to get this thing moving…add an assistant to help Diva out or see if we can get the crew back.

Professor is.....

January 19th, 2010
3:18 pm

or have that sexyProfessor make the 101 comment :wink:

DreamsMaterialize

January 19th, 2010
3:19 pm

See if the chick will give you her nine digits
Aiight, I’ll check in tomorrow and let you know what happened. But if I call you collect tonight, then you know what happened. You better accept the charges too. lol

Professor is.....

January 19th, 2010
3:22 pm

DreamsM…call me collect I gotcha!

kimmie

January 19th, 2010
3:22 pm

Ballwood, I love #12, jax, but I never played with a dude!LOL!!

Sassy Me....oochie wally, wally :-)

January 19th, 2010
3:36 pm

I love #12, jax, but I never played with a dude

:shock: Me either.

DreamsMaterialize

January 19th, 2010
3:43 pm

Yeah it was EXTRA slow in here today. Newsflash: You were only supposed to take off ONE day for the MLK holiday! Dang, my folks, I tell ya. lol

DreamsMaterialize

January 19th, 2010
3:46 pm

I gotcha!
Prof Every time I’ve heard that, it never ended well. lol

Like the time we were in Tijuana and…

DreamsMaterialize

January 19th, 2010
3:50 pm

but I never played with a dude
Kimmie, Oochie that’s that Twaaaaan type behavior. lol

I am whatever you say I am

January 19th, 2010
4:41 pm

Dreams: How about the person just being themselves and saying “Hi my name is ____, I noticed that you were______ and if it okay with you, I would like to get to you?”

i'm swiss

January 19th, 2010
4:44 pm

Wow. Slow day. Anyone still here?

lurker

January 19th, 2010
4:45 pm

that 4:41 is too easy and too much like right…lol

I am whatever you say I am

January 19th, 2010
4:46 pm

M Dot: the only way that I would date someone that is unemployed is if A, they won a significant amount from the lottery where they wouldn’t have to work
B, they were a trust fund baby (dated one)
C, they are making a job out of finding a job. Meaning Mon-Fri 8:00am-5:00pm, they are sending out resumes, going on interviews, networking, attending job fairs, developing their skill sets, etc….

There are some people that use the excuse of being laid off for not being pressed to find a job so you really have to look at the individual to find out what is going on.
Also, at that stage of a person’s life, I prefer to be a true friend and help them try to find a job and once they have that area settled, then maybe the idea of dating that person can be revisited.

Mr. Lurker ( B.K.A. 007)

January 19th, 2010
4:56 pm

What happened to the blog today? People are still doing MLK holiday break huh!
What’s up Ms. Lurker someday you are I going to discuss the bible so you can become Mrs. Lurker. :wink: :lol:

If she was the one I would support her all the way, thus creating a positive supportive environment to assist her in attaining a J.O.B! The one don’t come around too often and I do not want to miss out on Ms. Lurker, I mean the ONE (AKA Matrix) :smile:

DreamsMaterialize

January 19th, 2010
5:03 pm

I am whatever
I do that as well. Humor breaks the ice and eases tensions. How is being humorous NOT being yourself? Just because you crack a joke, give a compliment, or say something witty doesn’t automatically make it a “line”. You’re just trying to put the other person at ease.

I am whatever you say I am

January 19th, 2010
5:09 pm

@ Lurker: my God I hate pick up lines!
Ugh! What ever happened when people would talk to you trying to get to know you without using a line.

There are ways for guys to flirt without using corny lines

I am whatever you say I am

January 19th, 2010
5:11 pm

@ Dreams: Hmpf!

Mr. Lurker ( B.K.A. 007)

January 19th, 2010
5:36 pm

Enter your comments here

Mr. Lurker ( B.K.A. 007)

January 19th, 2010
5:38 pm

Relax I am…. 007 will does not need lines to get at ya!

I am whatever you say I am

January 19th, 2010
6:03 pm

big ups to Mr. Lurker ( B.K.A. 007)