Love in a flash, Love on the dash
Single people are busy! There are projects pending, children rearing, and loads of “important stuff” on our to do list. This means that unless you really carve time out of your schedules to mix and mingle in a social setting, you can find yourself dateless for what seems infinity.
Of course, our microwave society answers this dilemma with the romantic concept of speed dating. Now, to be fair, the idea of spending less than ten minutes flirting with someone I probably would have never met doesn’t sound like a complete waste of time. I like to flirt so at the very least I would flex the flirting muscle for a couple of minutes.
I just wonder if speed dating is a sign of our impatience and poor time management as single people! Do you believe that events like this are good environments to gauge chemistry and compatibility? Have you ever tried it before?
How long does it take to impress someone? If you were to attend a speed dating event, would you go armed with questions to toss out in an attempt to screen people out?
Guys, what would a woman do in these circumstances to get your attention in a flash? (uh besides showing up looking smoking hot?) . If she is naturally flirty, is it best to keep it toned down or should she let it all hang out? No pun intended, really. If she is usually reserved and shy, do you think she should come out of her shell a bit to showcase her friendly side?
Ladies, have you ever been impressed by a guy in a really short period of time? What was it about him that made you take a second look? What would you like to see in a man at a speed dating event to garner some interest?
I have not heard of a “love at first sight” romance from these speed dating events, but do you think it is possible? Is it possible to have those “you had me at hello” moments in this kind of social setting?
I got an invite to a really nice speed dating event and I joked with my friend Paul that I would probably be engaged by the end of the night. He said that being engaged after a short courtship isn’t necessarily a bad thing (well, not within a few hours!). A lot of people who meet and get engaged quickly have managed to last longer than those who dated for years.
What do you think? Are many of us falling in love and jumping the broom too fast?
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487 comments Add your comment
czBrat
January 6th, 2010
8:33 am
GM All!
i’ve never tried speed dating. with my impatience and short attention span, you would think the concept should be a perfect fit for me, but i’m not at all interested in meeting people in a pressure cooker. seems like the time issue and competitive nature of the event would have everyone on edge.
A lot of people who meet and get engaged quickly have managed to last longer than those who dated for years. do you think the ones who move quickly just know when it’s right (or are they desperate), while the ones who take their time may be trying to convince themselves (or are they being cautious)?
Raqi...The Million Dollar Bill
January 6th, 2010
8:43 am
Some people just know what they want and get it sooner than later preferring not to play the games. Some people start out wanted one thing and the situation or person can turn them in a different direction to getting what they now want. And some people want too much or don’t know what they want at all and will never get it.
IMO the outcome of every situation depends on the individuals involved. There is really no way to determine how fast or not people can and/or should fall for each other. Marriage is a big step. You should be certain it is what you want however the time frame it takes to get there all depends.
While I feel that there is no time that one should want to marry someone I do agree with something that my BFF told me last night that she heard on the radio. She was saying that MB was talking about the length that some people feign being engage just to never get to the wedding day. I think once you have decided that person is the one you want to marry and spend the rest of your days with, you should just go ahead and do. I have never understood the 2,3,…8 year long engagements.
What are you waiting on? What is it you are wanting to happen or change to make you move forward? I would assume that the two have been dating so they know each other. And I would assume that they were already exclusive seeing that there is a marriage proposal on the table. Why the long wait?
One thing I do know is some marriage proposals are implemented just to appease one of the individuals. The problem is the marriage itself in those situations hardly ever take place. Being engaged for 10years? What kind of sense does that make?
Both of the men at dinner last (my husband and the bff’s husband) stated that when they asked they were ready to do the thing right then and there. Us, within 10 days, and my bff and hers in 2 months.
If you are not ready then don’t ask or accept.
Raqi...The Million Dollar Bill
January 6th, 2010
8:47 am
Just a quick short sidenote…Alphabet Man did I read right yesterday that you got married?
LOL I was riding down in the elevator yesterday going home and it hit me that I read where you said you are married. So you went ahead and did that thing? If so, Congratulations.
Okay, back to the topic.
IDK
January 6th, 2010
8:57 am
I actually want to try a speed dating event! Anyone know of any? Just for kicks, seems like it’d either be fun or something I’d never do again!
Raqi...The Million Dollar Bill
January 6th, 2010
9:01 am
czBrat, I don’t think I could have ever done the speed dating because it seems like it would feel forced. I know that most can determine within minutes of meeting someone if that person is someone we want to get to know more about. But being placed in a situation where you are being clocked and in the position to potentially maybe might like to date that person, it would be rather comfortable and you may miss a good vibe or mistake a bad one.
But I do believe that some people don’t need an eternity to determine if someone is the one they want to be with. My mom and dad met and married in eight months and were married going on 41 years when she died.
He had been scoping her out and found her to his liking. He walked up one day and asked her if she was, she said no. He then asked her if she would marry him and she said yes. I know this is one of those situations that you really don’t find that often, but as my mother told me you don’t know a person until you live them. So I guess she felt she knew enough of the basic stuff about my dad after those short 8 months to know that he was worth going thru with the marriage.
Leggs
January 6th, 2010
9:04 am
Good morning, everyone!
I too want to try speed dating for the fun of it. Not sure if I would go with a set of questions or not, but the concept is entertaining.
Cemeeli
January 6th, 2010
9:09 am
Raqi – Hey….i saw that too…
yes, abc – he said…he said it!
unh-hunh!!
Cemeeli
January 6th, 2010
9:13 am
He woke me up this morning…started my day off quite well Melo.
DreamsMaterialize
January 6th, 2010
9:14 am
Morning Blog
I’ve never tried speed dating, but I know people who have, and at least one of them ended up in a long term relationship with someone from one of those events. Market research shows that those types of events are seeing an exponential growth. There is obviously a demand for it. There are lots of different people with lots of different lifestyles. If speed dating is the venue that fits your lifestyle, then do the damn thing. There are some pluses: the effort is minimal, it’s quick, you can leave with several dating options, and it’ll probably cost you less than buying drinks at the bar.
I think you can DEFINITELY know within minutes if you’re interested/attracted to someone.
Cemeeli
January 6th, 2010
9:19 am
The Nook at Piedmont, and The Mosaic have speed date parties.
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR GONE IN 60 SECS
January 6th, 2010
9:23 am
It aint the length of the conversation.. Its what you put in it..
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR SIDEWAYS TO THE NEXT LIGHT
January 6th, 2010
9:25 am
Speed dating is a waste.. I need this to marinate in you brain for a sec and we soak up the moment..
2CPTG......"gal, hur'up ain't got time to be playin wit' you!"
January 6th, 2010
9:26 am
speed dating…….hmmmm……yeah, I’d have a shyt load of questions…I mean if you went, why not enjoy the festivities, and play along……
akin to chumps who go to strip clubs tom’bout they ain’t tippin’……ok, so why go? so yeah, gang of questions comin atcha….’pending on how you answer, could/would lead to more….but if your subject/verb don’t agree, or you can’t properly enunciate your words, or form a coherent, and cohesive sentence…..I’d be like, next…..
2CPTG......"gal, hur'up ain't got time to be playin wit' you!"
January 6th, 2010
9:28 am
“He woke me up this morning…started my day off quite well”
sounds like some’n a Southern Baptist Deacon would say while leading devotion……..
Cemeeli
January 6th, 2010
9:30 am
That tagline, and that daggon latter part of your 9:26…i choked on my juice!!!…
2C you are a fool, omygah!!!
…”next!”…oh lawd, i cain’t breath!
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR SIDEWAYS TO THE NEXT LIGHT
January 6th, 2010
9:33 am
Am I trippin.. Or is someone calling themselves.. IDK.. Well Damn! Sorry Player but there could be but one IDK and that is THE INFAMOUS DK.
Sassy Me...Black Koffe...no sugar, no cream :-)
January 6th, 2010
9:34 am
Mornin’ errbody
What do you think? Are many of us falling in love and jumping the broom too fast? For me, the answers are no and no….I’m suspicious by nature so it’s not gonna be an instant/immediate thing. For me love is too serious to be a fly-by-night situation.
Yeah the alphabet manslipped it in there real slick like with the nuptial announcement yesterday.
Leggs
January 6th, 2010
9:34 am
As InfamousD pops his collar….
Raqi...The Million Dollar Bill
January 6th, 2010
9:35 am
Cemeeli, LOL. That’s all imma say.
But, uh, yeah I think the Alphabet Man jumped the broom. Let’s see if he comes on and verify our findings.
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR SIDEWAYS TO THE NEXT LIGHT
January 6th, 2010
9:35 am
I can see my speed date questions..
1. whats your name
2. do you work
3. can we get outta here
I mean hey you dont have much time so Id have to be quick about it..
Dan
January 6th, 2010
9:36 am
‘Sup
Attracted sure (that’s the easy part), but beyond that attraction, what else is there? Can I hang with this chick? Is she L7 or cool?
10 minutes is only time enough to know one of 2 things, whether I would or wouldn’t?
Sassy Me...Black Koffe...no sugar, no cream :-)
January 6th, 2010
9:36 am
sounds like some’n a Southern Baptist Deacon would say while leading devotion……..
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR SIDEWAYS TO THE NEXT LIGHT
January 6th, 2010
9:37 am
Oh and if its Mo on a speed date.. I would have to ask cant grab it and lay my head on it.. ..
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR SIDEWAYS TO THE NEXT LIGHT
January 6th, 2010
9:38 am
Can I.. Shouldve been Can I
Dan
January 6th, 2010
9:42 am
@DK
Would I. (Becuase I know I can).
S(a)ngleGirl (formerly NY2GA, Inc.)
January 6th, 2010
9:44 am
I have done a speed dating event just to try something new. They were both by Flirtingtime(not sure if they still exist). The positive is that they try to keep the number of men and women attending balanced. This is good considering in Atlanta there are often more women than men at most events. Another positive is that you know within the week who is interested and who is not. So, if they reject you…you can preserve your ego because they didn’t do it to your face
lol. Both times I attended I had a good time.
Personally, I love the emotion of being “in love” with someone and do not mind the work associated with maintaining a relationship. But, it takes two to tango. Do I think people are jumping the broom too soon? Nope. I think that marriage is being downplayed these days like there is no value to it. IMO there are too many folks that want to fast forward having RELATIONS, but put having RELATIONSHIPS on pause. Such a shame.
Leggs
January 6th, 2010
9:44 am
@Dan and InfamousD ~ should have been MAY I….
abc
January 6th, 2010
9:45 am
‘Speed Dating’ speaks of desperation. It seems to me to be an avenue for the clueless.
Sassy Me...Black Koffe...no sugar, no cream :-)
January 6th, 2010
9:49 am
IMO there are too many folks that want to fast forward having RELATIONS, but put having RELATIONSHIPS on pause.
True,true. I think some of that goes back to that “microwave mentality” that has stricken much of the dating scene…
Leggs
January 6th, 2010
9:49 am
Now, now, abc…clueless! Congratulations!
Cemeeli
January 6th, 2010
9:49 am
im so done with 2C.
I’m thinking speed dating can be a lil expensive. You gotta pay to be in the initial party…then what if you choose her/him as your date ya’ll go out again? or is that party the “date”?
Tazzee
January 6th, 2010
9:49 am
Morning Folks and Happy New Year!
I went to the first Af-Am speed dating event in Atlanta back in 2002. It was fun, met a guy, dated him for a bit, then found out he was married. Y’all know that story…
Some may say that I’m jumping the broom too fast. My fiance’ and I got engaged less than 6 months after our first date. We would be married by now if it weren’t for the fact that he has a child and it will take a little bit to merge our households. Don’t want his son to transfer schools mid-year. Also, I want us to finish our pre-marital counseling before getting married. I doubt anything will come out of it that we don’t already know, but I still want to do it.
Y’all got me wanting to go back and read yesterday…
Raqi...The Million Dollar Bill
January 6th, 2010
9:50 am
Alphabet Man did you make her your wife or not?
Cemeeli
January 6th, 2010
9:51 am
lol @ Raqi!
Leggs
January 6th, 2010
9:52 am
Good for you, Tazzee. Pre-marital counseling is very beneficial.
M. (pronouced M dot)
January 6th, 2010
9:53 am
Atlanta has an influx of these events. Also there is lock and key (www.lockandkeyevents.com/) which guys get keys and girls get locks. Its kinda of an ice breaker to walk around and ask are we a fit?
“How long does it take to impress someone? If you were to attend a speed dating event, would you go armed with questions to toss out in an attempt to screen people out?”
I think this is the first problem right now. People especially guys going out of their way to impress a woman. Spending $300.00 on the first date, buying drinks, tricking of money etc. People need to just be themselves. If they like you they will like you. You can only impress and keep up an image for so long.
I really dont like to coregraph questions to ask. I may have some general topics and things I want to find out but I will let it flow.
Like I said yesterday, women are really honest when you first meet them and this is the most honesty you will get out of them. In the beginning of the encounter. So listen up guys!
IDK
January 6th, 2010
9:53 am
@ cemeeli thanks 4 the places! @ infamous..lol, i thought bout that earlier 2…my IDK means ‘i dont know’. not sure what ur infamous DK is…care 2 share???
Leggs
January 6th, 2010
9:55 am
Who spends $300 on a first date? Definitely not the average Joe!
Melo
January 6th, 2010
9:56 am
He woke me up this morning…started my day off quite well Melo.
CEE!
I get it..and..umm,its on, i guess!
u can elucidate that for other bloggers if u like….
U and another female fav blogger of urs are good at massaging the message! lol
Hello folks..
Speed dating is just entertainment,masquerading as a dating services….
Its Not!
Cemeeli
January 6th, 2010
9:59 am
@ Leggs…no maam, not the avg Joe…if you date a certain class, he’ll pretty much shows his ballin’ m.o….yeah, some hundreds on a date.
Leggs
January 6th, 2010
10:00 am
@Melo, you and I are on the same page, even if its crumpled!
Raqi...The Million Dollar Bill
January 6th, 2010
10:00 am
$300 for a first date? Leggs who be doing that?
Melo
January 6th, 2010
10:02 am
If u have to pay to go into the speed dating thang,u sure better off at QT then!
Leggs
January 6th, 2010
10:04 am
@Cee ~ no doubt. That was a dumb question on my part.
DreamsMaterialize
January 6th, 2010
10:06 am
abc
the “clueless” have to date too. lol
Cemeeli
January 6th, 2010
10:08 am
off topic – Who leaves their water dripping when there’s a freeze warning? I’ve heard of it, but i don’t practice it.
czBrat
January 6th, 2010
10:08 am
is it that much different from your average club or bar? isn’t everyone giving each other just a couple minutes to decide if they want to move forward or move on? just asking.
Leggs is on point this morning. every post got me crackin me up
Raqi...Accepting The Challenge
January 6th, 2010
10:09 am
A,B,C,D,E,F,G why are you not answering me? LOL
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR SIDEWAYS TO THE NEXT LIGHT
January 6th, 2010
10:10 am
Actually its not that uncommon to spend 2 something on a date..
Check it..
Dinner 70.00 to 100.00
Movie 30.00
Drinks 50 to 60
Cover Charge 20 to 40
Parking 10 to 20
Gas 40
Im saying.. Dating is hard on a jokers Pocket if he aint careful and creative..
Raqi...Accepting The Challenge
January 6th, 2010
10:10 am
Cemeeli, it’s not really necessary unless you are going away for a few days. My marido’s friend says that as long as water is going thru the pipes every day you are pretty safe. However that can change depending on the conditions of the pipes in your house.