Recently, ABC’s Nightline did a segment entitled, “Single, Black, Female — and Plenty of Company. You can tell by the title that it’s intended to highlight, the varying reasons many women of color are still unmarried, “despite success” in their careers.
Perhaps I am a bit oversensitive to this kind of thing because I obviously fit the single, black, female criteria. I just wonder why a person’s career success should automatically translate into success in finding a mate. Did I miss something?
I know there are friends of mine of many races and backgrounds that have a desire to marry, but I don’t get the sense that they feel entitled to it simply because they have achieved success.
Whenever I hear or read stories like this, I have to really wonder, what is the point of tossing out the “forty-two percent” have not married statistic. Then they take it further and highlight the difference as “double the number of white women”. Seriously?
So wait, are black women in some kind of Amazing Bridal Race with white women that I didn’t know about? Is there some kind of Brad Pritt prize for the woman who jumps the broom before her ethnic counterpart?
I am being facetious, of course, but I want to know, what is the fascination with single black women not marrying? What is it supposed to mean? Am I supposed to feel hopeful, panicky, ambivalent? Do I give up and go get baby kittens now ?
I am not doing any of that.
Ladies, what do you think when you see stories such as these in the news? Do you disregard it as fluff pieces or does it get internalized?
I would really be interested people to hear from others to see if this is part of that annoying societal pressure to get married that so many single people endure.
In the report, one of the women- (they were all gorgeous and accomplished by the way) said that they are able to find dates. It’s just the commitment that the men they meet seem to avoid. One woman said, “If a guy can rotate quality women why would he settle down?”
I am almost positive this is not exclusive to black men, though. Why would anyone waste energy on a man who doesn’t want what they want? If he is rotating women and you know about it, shouldn’t you be thankful you dodged that bullet?
Guys, what would be your advice to women like this?
For the record, I will never give up hope. Besides, I am allergic to cats.