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Naughty or Nice?

If you survived Thanksgiving and all those well-intentioned relatives asking about your dating life, congratulations!  You cleared the first holiday without sinking into a funk about your lacking love life. Being single and dateless during the holidays doesn’t have to spell doom.  For all of us who are single during the holidays, here are some tips on holidating:

Mingle: You know all those e-vites that are sitting in your inbox for holiday gatherings? Open them! Even if you don’t know who you want to take, just RSVP and go! The goal should not be to  score phone numbers, though. Relax, be yourself, and laugh. When you aren’t focused on the numbers game, I think you are able to enjoy the people/experience more. Trust me. I’ve had the most fun at holiday parties without a date.  I played the card games, sipped on yummy drinks, and grabbed random hot guys to stand under some mistletoe! (Yes, I have been known to carry my own. Don’t judge me.)

Venture out: It’s getting cold, the days are shorter, and the single people seem to disappear! This just means you need to be more creative and go where lots of people are gathered. Ice skating rinks, sporting events, bookstores, museums, or a cozy restaurant/cafe with comfy surroundings. Relaxed people are sexy.  I bet you could strike up a conversation with interesting people who share similar interests.

What are other activities single people can do during the next few weeks? Lots of days off which means plenty of leisure time! What do you plan to do for fun during the holidays?

Do single people try to  avoid meeting someone new because they don’t want to get caught up in that holiday trifecta: Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s Day?

Do you ever “relax” your dating standards just so you can get a snuggle buddy for the cold, winter nights? I have to admit that the thought of having a sweetie to curl up with in front of the fire is awfully tempting!

Is it wrong to do the “expiration” dating thing just for the holiday season? How does one even pull that off? Yes, this would fall in the naughty category, have you done it before?

What are the perks for being single during the holidays?

448 comments Add your comment

no odds, even $

December 22nd, 2009
12:58 pm

holiday hook-ups are not a bad idea. just treat them accordingly. keep TRUE friends and fam first!

czBrat

December 22nd, 2009
1:05 pm

Why is it the dudes that take care of their kids get sooo much grief but the ones that dont want anything to do with their kids get all the passes on Earth?

because you’re THERE. sad, but true.

Raqi

December 22nd, 2009
1:07 pm

I was reading over in ChaPan one day and they were discussing the many goggles that people can find themselves wearing that could possibly land you in situations you would rather not be in. They tend to change your view and alter your thinking when it comes to meeting folks. The holiday loneliness goggles are definitely a pair that should probably be avoided.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka B.A. BARACUS

December 22nd, 2009
1:08 pm

No odds – First off Babe My Son was the best thing that ever happened to me.. Im not asking for a pat on the back because thats not important.. Whats important is my Son has a positive role model in his life thats his Dad.. Its more important that my son knows He is my Son, he is Loved and with him I am well pleased. It is more important that my son have both parents to give him that balance he needs.. My reward will come when my son grows up to be a fine young man.. Nothing from anybody else matters. I was asking a simple question about why do Excellent Fathers get the long road to Hoe? Because by all standards I am an excellent father and go about that business out of love and concern for my child. No monikers or pats are needed here. The way my son runs to me and hugs my legs and yells “Dadddddyyy” is enough..

SlimOne...just called me Nicety!

December 22nd, 2009
1:15 pm

@Infamous “patented Dennis Rodman shorts with my business hanging out the bottom as we spoon” :lol: Reminds me of my dad when I was little. He was anti-underwear and I’ll never forget when I told him a dead snake was coming out of his shorts.

Raqi

December 22nd, 2009
1:15 pm

Infamous, what do you mean by a long road to hoe? Are you talking about good dads getting grief from the mothers or an outside source?

THE INFAMOUS DK aka B.A. BARACUS

December 22nd, 2009
1:16 pm

Raqi – Whats the dang gone deal chica? Hows the Christmas Cheer in the house coming? And by the way where’ve you been?

THE INFAMOUS DK aka B.A. BARACUS

December 22nd, 2009
1:17 pm

Raqi – Check my 12:37 post

Sessy Coooool

December 22nd, 2009
1:17 pm

I love it when a plan comes together.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka B.A. BARACUS

December 22nd, 2009
1:19 pm

Slim – Well you already know bout the Dennis Rodman Shorts and You are familiar with the business hanging out.. So yeah baby yeah!! Let the spooning begin.. Oh and I plan to be in your kitchen cooking eggs like on baby boy when ya folks come..

MsM

December 22nd, 2009
1:21 pm

Well folks, I’m single this holiday. Me and s/o just couldn’t keep it together, and to tell the truth I’m relieved (something about a dead horse and letting go kept ringing in my ear :) ). Anyhoo, next!!!

I need a new moniker… Oh wait, I’ll go back to LoveLife411

And, no I don’t want a holiday hook-up or a grown azz man with two last names >>> still laughing :)

LoveLife411

December 22nd, 2009
1:22 pm

Hello, my name is LoveLife411 and you are?

Raqi

December 22nd, 2009
1:22 pm

I think the ones that get grief, if coming from the other parent, it’s because they do not want to see you happy no matter what you do.

The only reason the deadbeats get a “pass” is because some mothers are too lazy to make them do what they are supposed to do or some of the mothers have become tired of chasing a losing case. Sometimes it’s easier to just do it yourself instead of chasing someone down to get them to do the right thing. It’s a sorry good-for-nothing man that makes a baby and won’t take care him/her.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka B.A. BARACUS

December 22nd, 2009
1:23 pm

MsM – Well like I was telling Slim.. I got these Dennis Rodman shorts and I want them to be seen.. I want to let my business hang out the bottom and get the party started.. And of course Imma act like I dont know its hanging out..

czBrat

December 22nd, 2009
1:24 pm

MsM. sorry to hear it and happy for ya all in the same breath :) how long were you together, and how long past the expiration date did you hang on?

THE INFAMOUS DK aka B.A. BARACUS

December 22nd, 2009
1:24 pm

Raq Dogg – Preciate ya fer taking the time to break that there down for me..

Dream_n~ What would Santa say?

December 22nd, 2009
1:28 pm

and how long past the expiration date did you hang on?

Why is this so common (for me too)… I mean hanging on to a useless relationship…

But then when you’re out you feel stupid for staying for so long.

Melo

December 22nd, 2009
1:31 pm

LoveLife411??

so u vacant now…im telling u,real estate is so cheap now in the A.. :lol: I told u not to ignore me like that,u see what karma does?? :lol:
U 46,right LoveLife??…im doing some calculations and thinking..which side of town u on??…….
So the s/o didnt wanna spend money on presents etc?? Why do holidays do that to single pple..and u ladies shld stop putting too much stock in this commercialization and giving ur boyfriends grief about presents..just have fun even when there is no money.
Yeah,but spending holidays alone sucks..i can understand Wise and Luvbug situation…just get under smeone jus for a few days till it gets warmer…

lurker

December 22nd, 2009
1:32 pm

Maybe it’s you? Ever think of that? I’m serious. There are always two sides to every story with the truth lying somewhere in the middle. We only hear your side. I’m sure she’s venting and saying the same thing to her circle/girls/friends and I’m more than certain the reaction you get here, or empathy I should phrase, the same probably goes for her. You seem VERY VERY angry and it’s just not good ALLOWING someone to get your goat, especially if you say there aren’t any feelings at all left. The thing you said last week about doing her stylist was mean and vindictive. If I were her, even if we’ve moved past cohabitating in a marriage, that would have stung, as I’m sure you intended. I’m not knocking you parenting skills at all and I’m sure you feel duped more than but probably no more than the average dude with a similiar situation but you seem awfully angry and under such anger it’s hard (us being the bystander) to read and see things clearly from what you reveal. You seem jaded.

czBrat

December 22nd, 2009
1:33 pm

:lol: @ Dream_n. we all have our flaws. i guess hope (in this case) is one.

lurker

December 22nd, 2009
1:33 pm

Oh, that was for DK

Raqi

December 22nd, 2009
1:33 pm

Infamous, everything in good in my part of town. We had our Christmas party last night and I was busy yesterday getting all that together. We hope to finish up all of our shopping tonight. Tomorrow we are going to a party of one his business associates. Thursday I am going to sleep in and we are going to just hang around the house and get our Christmas dinner started.

Luvbug

December 22nd, 2009
1:38 pm

Eyyyyyyyyyyy Melo?! What Luvbug situation? I started out saying I didn’t feel a difference between a single/nonsingle holiday. If I were with someone, I would be trying to get him to travel or something.

My issue is not singleness during the holiday…I’m bored with the whole family or family only part. It’s like when I take a week or two vacation and only spend time at home or catching up on chores.

I just wanna do something different…a vacation vacation.

Melo

December 22nd, 2009
1:38 pm

Raqi?

is that heifer coming to dinner or u rescinded the invite….??

Sessy Coooool

December 22nd, 2009
1:40 pm

Raqi – How did ol’ girl do?

Willie Dynamite (Naughty as I Wanna Be)

December 22nd, 2009
1:41 pm

Afternoon All,

Lets see, Single for the holidays was always good to me. I mean for the majority of my life the holidays were basically a grab bag fulla goodies. If I was booed up then no problem I was all in. When single lets jus say I took advantage of ALL the Holiday cheer that I could.

I’ll admit that I was definitely one of the ones that took the hiatus from T-giving to Valentines Day. It was easy because If you were not the one then I just kept it moving after a few.

Dream_n~ What would Santa say?

December 22nd, 2009
1:42 pm

cbratz.. I do believe that’s one component.

How’s the situation going with your “state of mind”? Are you getting in the “together” mode yet?

LoveLife411

December 22nd, 2009
1:43 pm

@ czBrat… starting dating in Aug. 07′ split in Sept. 08, got back together in Jul 09. If I must tag the toe (expiration) it should have been Sept. 08. I’ve always said, if you can make me angry/cry ya still have a chance… I’ve not been moved.

@ INFAM & SlimOne… my dad wore the Dennis Rodman’s too, never, ever pj’s, robe,etc. To be honest I don’t think he ever noticed… now mom would fuss at him all the time… in one ear and out the other. And of course Imma act like I dont know its hanging out.. LOL

LoveLife411

December 22nd, 2009
1:45 pm

@ Dream_N …But then when you’re out you feel stupid for staying for so long.

Not at all, no regrets. I was an active participant, so I will acknowledge my part in whatever was good or bad with the relationship. I don’t feel stupid in the least… live and learn.

czBrat

December 22nd, 2009
1:47 pm

Oh, that was for DK. on that note, lemme go to lunch to avoid getting hit by the shrapnel that’s about to fly.

Dream_n, nope. gotta have a lil sit-down bout that.

Melo

December 22nd, 2009
1:48 pm

@Luvbug??

but then again u said u dont have the balls to travel alone..assuming if s/o was around,u wldnt have all this talk coz he wld be taging along, i suppose? “Two is company” and that has been proven right,esp in these holiday cheer moments.

LoveLife411

December 22nd, 2009
1:48 pm

@ Melo …So the s/o didnt wanna spend money on presents etc??

That’s not it.

Dream_n~ What would Santa say?

December 22nd, 2009
1:51 pm

@ LoveLife411

That’s good attitude to have, but for me I felt very stupid.

Once out, I mean really out, I had time to look at the situation, analyze it, and realize quite a few things.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka B.A. BARACUS

December 22nd, 2009
1:51 pm

Lurker – OK.. Merry Christmas…

Melo

December 22nd, 2009
1:55 pm

LoveLife411

give us some more nuggets to chew girl,its slow in here and hes gone,so whats the deal?? why protect him…?? :lol:

:lol:

Raqi

December 22nd, 2009
1:56 pm

Sessy and Melo, she was at the party last night. She helped me in the kitchen keeping the platters stocked with food and drinks filled. She seemed happy to help me out. She stayed pretty busy until she sang her rendition of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause on the karaoke machine which was hilarious.

I don’t doubt that I will hear next week if she took mental pictures of what folks were wearing. LOL

Melo

December 22nd, 2009
2:01 pm

I don’t doubt that I will hear next week if she took mental pictures of what folks were wearing.
@Raqi..
Good,see..she was a sport..

Now u stop her from the gossip etc by pinpointing pple in the pics at the party and saying,”oh,that in white dress,thats my daghter’s godmom,that one in red,we go waaaay waaay back,the one with short hair,i luv her to death that lady etc”"

So her mouf is shut on all fronts!! :lol:

LoveLife411

December 22nd, 2009
2:03 pm

Melo, Melo, Melo… what we go’n do with you?

I’m not protecting him. I love this blog…

1. Baggage
2. Drama
3. Selfish

It’s not important anymore.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka B.A. BARACUS

December 22nd, 2009
2:07 pm

LL411 – So how did ya’ll end it?

Willie Dynamite (Naughty as I Wanna Be)

December 22nd, 2009
2:08 pm

Fellas,
Ifn you single you just might want to check out the Ice Skating Rink at Centennial. Over the weekend I’m telling you it was Chocfulla chicks 2 n 3 deep having a good time.

LoveLife411

December 22nd, 2009
2:08 pm

@ Dream_N… I understand the analysis piece, went through all those emotions and like you said realized quite a few things…

Dream_n~ What would Santa say?

December 22nd, 2009
2:19 pm

Anyone asking Santa for anything special this year?

czBrat

December 22nd, 2009
2:20 pm

I’m bored with the whole family or family only part. i’m right there with ya on this. matter of fact, next year’s plan for thanksgiving is to be in st. thomas and christmas will, hopefully, find me skiing. i just gotta get away from the holiday family gathering for a minute.

Melo

December 22nd, 2009
2:23 pm

LoveLife411??

I can understand Drama, I can understand Baggage..but “Selfish” to me just means its a woman,looking at a man’s pockets,with an eye… :roll: :lol:
Is he tight fisted??

Ibeen laughing here,my 2 brothers arecalling to ask me if i have heard from mum back home.They have both received texts messges to say ‘cll mum’and they wondering coz if it was really urgent,i wld be the first to know..hence they wondering.

These knuckleheads are so tightfisted,they havent send her none for Xmas….im just laughing at their tom foolery!

She wants some Xmas cheer,Wake Up! :lol:

Dream_n~ What would Santa say?

December 22nd, 2009
2:23 pm

That’s why you do the family thing early, then schedule some “me” time once you’re finised.

Sometimes family just wants to see your face and chat it up a a bit :)

Raqi

December 22nd, 2009
2:27 pm

Melo, I was prepared to tell her to leave but when I asked her if she could help me out she gladly stepped to it. I said the other day that she when I first met her I thought she was pretty cool person for the most part. I haven’t spoken to her since the party last night because she is off for the week. I don’t know how she feels about me after being at my house and spending times with my family and friends. I just will not tolerate the negative energy in my space if she comes with it again.

Luvbug

December 22nd, 2009
2:30 pm

For me alone doesn’t mean without a guy. I wouldn’t mind traveling with girlfriends or a group of friends or family or a platonic guy friend or girlfriend or boyfriend (if I have one).

Now when I think of traveling alone, I imagine talking and laughing to myself and that makes me sad cuz I’m as goofy as they come…and joking and laughing with myself will land me in some institution.

I know it’s silly and I should get over it and roll like DK and Mdot suggested

Willie Dynamite (Naughty as I Wanna Be)

December 22nd, 2009
2:31 pm

Raqi – Do you think that maybe she doesn’t know she’s constantly being negative? Has it been brought to her attention?

Melo

December 22nd, 2009
2:31 pm

was prepared to tell her to leave but when I asked her if she could help me out she gladly stepped to it.

she was at ur house already and u were contemplating that?? She must have done some again then??? Giirrrrrrrrrrrl………are u kidding??

some bullshizzle…! :lol: what she say this time??

Dream_n~ What would Santa say?

December 22nd, 2009
2:34 pm

@ Luvbug

I’m with you on the traveling alone thing. I think I’d much rather have company. A good friend will do… for safety reasons more so.