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Dating Quid Pro Quo

I find it so fascinating to hear a man’s perspective on dating.  I often wonder what it is like on their end because men can have different expectations. I have talked with men who believe that a successful relationship has a balanced “quid pro quo” (or something for something)  situation.  They think that they offer something to women and expect the same, or something else in return.

Ideally, I suppose it would be beneficial for both people who are dating to feel that they are getting a return on their investment, so to speak.  So what happens when it doesn’t work out that way?

Do you think that dating should be a quid pro quo situation? If women are giving their time, energy, etc. to a guy, what is she expecting from him in return?  When men are seeking to offer their time and energy on a woman, is it appropriate for a quid pro quo situation to exist?

It seems as if balancing it out would be challenging, at best, but shouldn’t we try anyway?

A friend of mine told me that he doesn’t feel the need to be rewarded for chivalry or being a gentleman. It’s just a part of being a grown man. What is the reward for chivalry, though?

206 comments Add your comment

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
12:58 pm

“Steph-an Ur-kel”

He was so unaatractive.

Professor...in a great space

December 21st, 2009
12:58 pm

Where is Leggs?

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:59 pm

but ya gotta admit, he flipped the script on them chics, real quick!

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
1:00 pm

Dk if my age is your only point of attack.. then I am officially waving my white flag, b/c that is something I cannot change.

Being 23 is not a negative thing.. I think everyone on the blog has been there…

*waving white flag*

Willie Dynamite

December 21st, 2009
1:02 pm

Afternoon All,

Chivalry is one of those things that if you do or don’t notice it is because you were expecting some sort of acknowledgement or return. Personally I do it without thinking no more no less. Just who I am. As for the Quid Pro Quo; I don’t have a set ratio that I looked for just that I won’t be taken advantage of or under-appreciated. I’ve never been the one to wear a cape or bake cakes so if I’m spending the time its cause I’m digging you and I’ve got reciprocation. If not then of course you either get put at the end of the bench or I keep it moving. No harm no foul.

New Topic – I hate fake azz people. Whether in person or written. It aint hard to figa out who real and what not. Same as in dating. you can tell why some of these folks have misadventures.

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
1:11 pm

If you say so 2C…lol

Willie Dynamite

December 21st, 2009
1:16 pm

Prof – Leggs is off work this week. She may drop in and blog from home (doubt it) at some point.

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
1:37 pm

On a lighter note…

I’m excited about Christmas and my birthday coming around the corner. Some much needed rest and celebrating will do me some good.

i'm swiss

December 21st, 2009
1:56 pm

Bueller…? Bueller…?

[crickets]

I know it’s a holiday week & all, but dang, this blog has ground to a screeching halt. Are we gonna have to turn this into Multi-orgasmic Monday to get this thing rolling? :lol:

For Real

December 21st, 2009
1:57 pm

What up Blog Fam.

On topic: Like my Paw-Paw used to say “mannas is mannas either you raised wit it or you ain’t” – As far as Quid Pro Quo, Reciprocity, Yeng and Yang or whatever you want to call it people will always expect something from you. – Now I read couple of post where some of the chicks talking about “A woman’s time and energy”, well ladies do you place the same value on a dude’s “time and energy”?

Fake People: Hey what are you going to do? It take everyone to make the world go round. You would think with this being an anonymous blog no one would feel the need to be fake I mean why be fake what is anyone on the is blog going to actually do?

Willie Dynamite

December 21st, 2009
1:58 pm

Swissie – Wassup mayne, hows the new house and 1st holiday season as a married dude looking for you.

Professor

December 21st, 2009
2:04 pm

@Willie…thanks I thought she had danced the night away and called in sick.

@Swiss I was getting ready to send a smoke signal because I think you missed a few days last week.

On topic/Fake people: I don’t worry about nothing counterfeit except for money.

i'm swiss

December 21st, 2009
2:08 pm

Wassup, Willie D. Except for me being broke now, the new house is awesome. :lol: Way better than anything I ever thought I’d live in, that’s for sure. Especially digging the giant shower in the master bath — it’s straight out of Cribs: right in the center of the bathroom, totally surrounded by glass, big enough to fit me and Mrs. Swiss + 4 or 5 of her girls (only the hot ones, though). :lol: Now just gotta install that stripper pole and I’m all set… :lol:

Oh, and married life is treating me very well. I don’t know what I did to get so lucky, but I plan to enjoy every minute of it, I promise you that… :-)

i'm swiss

December 21st, 2009
2:12 pm

Hi, Prof. Yeah, I was working my lily-white booty off last week (and you know I didn’t have that much to begin with):lol:

Melo

December 21st, 2009
2:21 pm

yeah Swiss…

i missed on the bachelor party,the wedding..umm im hoping this time, i will find an invite in ma box for the house warming….

its ur call,either i come solo,if there is ample bootyful supplies or with Queen,whatever u say,i be there, mayneee! :lol:

Urs in angst! :)

Melo

czBrat

December 21st, 2009
2:24 pm

awwwww Swiss, the house sounds awesome! congrats again.

i like your comments For Real (and how often does that happen????) :lol: now i have to ask an open question for all, how does one determine that a blogger is ‘fake’ based on their posts? do you just keep an eye out for contradictions to call someone out, or is it based strictly on an individual comment? if no one really knows each other here, aren’t those just rash judgements? just wondering.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 21st, 2009
2:26 pm

@ Swiss

Landing a new house and having someone there that you love/adore to share it with is great!!

Sexy is SCool.

December 21st, 2009
2:28 pm

IMO – Anyone’s whose ish don’t stank, always posts perfect and never admits to getting ish in life wrong is probably not being very real with themselves or others (er, um)…believing the best about themselves and consistently putting their best foot forward.

Thing about that…for me…is that most often, I can’t remember who said what.

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
2:35 pm

“do you just keep an eye out for contradictions to call someone out, ”
you keep a note pad!

Landing a new house and having someone there that you love/adore to share it with is great!!”

stuntman mike

December 21st, 2009
2:37 pm

Luvbug

December 21st, 2009
2:38 pm

Regarding Fakeness…I’m faking right now…I mean I’m facing the monitor and typing, but people passing my office may assume I’m working. Nope, I’m working a little bit and reading this blog every now and then.

***The following is not specific to this blog per se. I’ve never met anyone here***

It’s hard to tell sometimes b/c perception could cover a person purposefully pretending to be something s/he is not and also cover a person MISperceiving the truth about somebody else.

Akin to what DK mentioned…whatever you perceive about me, my presence or something I said/wrote…I would prefer you address me (it) head on…and be specific to what I said/did – no “vague generalizations” or random name calling that has nothing to do with what you are specifically addressing.

The middle school, gossipy side attack is where I get annoyed. If you address me head on, you may find the truth is different than what you perceive…but I think people don’t want the truth cuz when they want to hate, they do it by any means necessary…the good thing is hate, for me, is often that hot air that keeps me rising to the top.

stuntman mike

December 21st, 2009
2:38 pm

why did i get banned?

Willie Dynamite

December 21st, 2009
2:39 pm

czBrat – Hard to pinpoint exactly for me. Rarely will I call someone out but just reading the too good to be true bs. Also like SC says the perfect people in the world who never get it wrong and its never their fault. I usually skim over individual comments for the most part and don’t really get on here enough to know about contradictions unless its all in the same hour or two. Even with that being said seems like most folks can read a few comments and figa out that bish fake or that dude lying and still keep it moving unless its something thats addressed to them.

i'm swiss

December 21st, 2009
2:39 pm

Melo — You didn’t get the bachelor party invite? All this time I thought you just stood me up, man… ;-)

May be a while before any kind of house-warming party… we need to get some furniture first & after all the $$ we’ve already shelled out for the down payment, closing costs, fridge, washer & dryer, we won’t be buying much of anything until we get our tax refund.

Melo

December 21st, 2009
2:50 pm

we need to get some furniture first

Now! thats faking Swiss! :lol: who u wanna impress?? me..naw homie(?)..

u know we like the bare floor better to showcase the dancing skills…im sure Ms swiss knows that….

Better yet,u do the house warning and then on the nite,pass on a collection plate to fund purchase of furniture coz everybody will see,u didnt move no furniture around to the walls,house is bare. :lol:

Thats keeping it real bro! :lol: can i call u bro by the way or i broke an afr/american law??(is Dan here?!) :lol:

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
2:55 pm

“Better yet,u do the house warning and then on the nite,pass on a collection plate to fund purchase of furniture coz everybody will see,u didnt move no furniture around to the walls,house is bare.

Thats keeping it real bro! can i call u bro by the way or i broke an afr/american law??(is Dan here?!) ”

man…….you keep me crackin up!!! but that is some realness!

Melo

December 21st, 2009
2:55 pm

2Can,u here??

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 21st, 2009
2:55 pm

@cbratz

For the most part.. I think we’ve all read everyones individual story. So we prety much know the story behind the computer…

The idea of “fake” is generally tossed around when someone is not, or will not, or hasn’t yet commited the same mistake as another counterpart.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR NO BOLOGNEY ALL CHEESE

December 21st, 2009
2:56 pm

Melo – Ones blackness is not judged by the color of his skin, it is judged on his soul alone.. H3ll Swiss’ Ghetto Pass might have more stamps on it than yours..

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
2:59 pm

right here, Melo……reading Dream_n’s young ass trynna to spit some knowledge………(j/k………..not really tho)

i'm swiss

December 21st, 2009
3:00 pm

:lol: @ Melo — But you know what, you make some good points, my friend. By the way, you can call me bro all you want. Or half-bro or bro-in-law, whichever you prefer… :lol: Now the question is, would it be breaking a rule if I called you bro…? ;-)

Sexy is SCool.

December 21st, 2009
3:01 pm

RIP Brittany Murphy. I liked that chick.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 21st, 2009
3:02 pm

Would it sound better for you 2C if I was born in 1975 as opposed to 85???

And spitting knowledge is all relative… depending on the ignorance of ones self.

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
3:04 pm

gal…….if you don’t lighten up!!!!!

Melo

December 21st, 2009
3:06 pm

@DK..I hear u..u know me, i grew up under apartheid…u didnt see no poor swiss around,at least not around black folk..the swiss always held themselves as above u know who and if there was any negativity in their camp(aka poverty) they kept it well protected,away from the black folk.

Now i come to ther states, i see poor,cracked up feet “master swiss” and poor Ray Ray all standing tegether side by side..i tell u,initially,it didnt seem real to me…i was conditioned.

i luv america.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 21st, 2009
3:06 pm

I’m light… should I add a wink or a lol next time

Here you go :wink:

Melo

December 21st, 2009
3:10 pm

Now the question is, would it be breaking a rule if I called you bro…?

:lol: :lol: u got a some soul for real! :lol:

u eat neck bones,cow balls and feet and all Swiss?? :lol:

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
3:11 pm

“I’m light”…….hmmmm, how light? can I pick you up? toss you around? do some acrobatics?

Luvbug

December 21st, 2009
3:14 pm

Now i come to ther states, i see poor,cracked up feet “master swiss” and poor Ray Ray all standing tegether side by side..i tell u,initially,it didnt seem real to me…i was conditioned.

That’s funny…it reminds me of a convo I had with a few colleagues – one from Ivory Coast and the other a much older guy from Jamaica – about race and whatnot. I asked why black immigrants hangout with non blacks in college. They were like, ‘We can’t tell the difference’…they could tell later, but when they first came to the states they thought all whites had money and were smarter (due to schooling).

Melo

December 21st, 2009
3:16 pm

right here, Melo

@2Can, well, i just wanted to say, i replayed that joke on Raqi u made on friday,”u put on nikas to bed” sme like that..it was hilarious to me….

I guess she didnt wanna be challenged or maybe just wanted to ward off blog competition, i really dont know, coz guess how she came to bed afetr i had tucked in! :lol:

and i was like, :hello:…..! :lol:

Luvbug

December 21st, 2009
3:17 pm

just reread – I meant they hung out with white to the exclusion of blacks like we had a disease.

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
3:20 pm

ha…..all it takes is a lil persuasive coercion!!!

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 21st, 2009
3:20 pm

I’m sure you could…. :wink:

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
3:22 pm

damn, Dream_n……gimme them stats again……23…..what else?

Melo

December 21st, 2009
3:23 pm

@luvbug??

what college did u go to..

Now, in some countries,african countries included,black gang violence is hyped up…
that maybe an explanation,dont know for sure.

Oh folks may have been jus angling for scholarships! :lol: U know folks do what they can do to get where they wanna go! :lol:

I have a sad story of an african america muslim guy who gave me the run around,promising to get me a scholarship..back in the day..west atlanta area..shall remain nameless! :lol:

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 21st, 2009
3:25 pm

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 21st, 2009
3:26 pm

Didn’t I tell you I am not getting caught up in a blog scandal…

Melo

December 21st, 2009
3:30 pm

Queen has been trying these past weeks to empty my prostate..

No chance! :lol:

where is Raqi at..she gave that advice….??

I think we need plan B! :lol:

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
3:33 pm

scandal????? ain’t no scandals ‘less you run yo mouf! I don’t kiss and tell…..

i'm swiss

December 21st, 2009
3:36 pm

“u eat neck bones,cow balls and feet and all Swiss??”

I have sampled some neck bones & pig’s feet… but, um, cow balls??? First — no, I’ve never had ballz of any kind in my mouth, and second — exactly what kind of cows do they have where you’re from? — Rosie O’Donnell Holstein? :lol: