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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating Quid Pro Quo

I find it so fascinating to hear a man’s perspective on dating.  I often wonder what it is like on their end because men can have different expectations. I have talked with men who believe that a successful relationship has a balanced “quid pro quo” (or something for something)  situation.  They think that they offer something to women and expect the same, or something else in return.

Ideally, I suppose it would be beneficial for both people who are dating to feel that they are getting a return on their investment, so to speak.  So what happens when it doesn’t work out that way?

Do you think that dating should be a quid pro quo situation? If women are giving their time, energy, etc. to a guy, what is she expecting from him in return?  When men are seeking to offer their time and energy on a woman, is it appropriate for a quid pro quo situation to exist?

It seems as if balancing it out would be challenging, at best, but shouldn’t we try anyway?

A friend of mine told me that he doesn’t feel the need to be rewarded for chivalry or being a gentleman. It’s just a part of being a grown man. What is the reward for chivalry, though?

206 comments Add your comment

Luvbug

December 21st, 2009
11:54 am

You’re right. It’s wrong for any person to treat another as if s/he is superior (if that’s the intention and belief). I guess, I was thinking in the area of perception. Sometimes what looks to be rude may not be (at least intentionally). Regarding the paying – yeah, to each his own…and I’m sure you read my “whining” retraction after your post.

Luvbug

December 21st, 2009
11:55 am

Forgot – @ Cool Shadow

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
11:55 am

Okay.. now I am officially cracking up.

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
11:56 am

and my dawg Rell….lotta y’all cain’t dig where he comin from, but ain’t no fakin in him either……nikka stay consistent in who he is……

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
11:58 am

This is a blog for christ sakes.. please let’s not take the comments and sacastic banter to heart…

Geez…and here I thought I was blogging with sensible adults. Folks whining and carry on about a bunch of nothingness…

None of these blog men/women owe anyone anything. Take the comments and do what you will with them…. Damn smh

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR NO BOLOGNEY ALL CHEESE

December 21st, 2009
12:00 pm

Yeah I second that Sexy get my vote for a stand up chick.. Leggs too.. Cee.. Raqi.. Love ya’ll.. Always keep it 1 hunnid.. Ya’ll just tell the truth no matter what, even if the resident BS-ers dont like it. If Im forgetting you I’ll get you through out the day..

2can – And yeah Ive been thinking about steppin out to let people see me so they can look in my eyes and know what it is..

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:00 pm

what was real funny was back in the day when email addys were visible, and them gals talkin bout they weren’t cuttin nuttin…….yeah, ok!

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR NO BOLOGNEY ALL CHEESE

December 21st, 2009
12:02 pm

Dream – well stop making random statements and talk to the people you talking to.. If its just a blog..

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
12:04 pm

I’m sorry DK was it something I said that offended you. (personally)

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR NO BOLOGNEY ALL CHEESE

December 21st, 2009
12:04 pm

Dream – Naw Youngsta You good..

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:05 pm

“And yeah Ive been thinking about steppin out to let people see me so they can look in my eyes and know what it is..”

yeah, then you can see for yourself who really “bout that!”……I remember when I used to smoke weed…..I met this chic from the blog, and I was bout to fire one up, and she talkin bout, “what you doin?”…I was like what it look Iike I’m doin……shiiiid, you knew this already!

Sexy is SCool.

December 21st, 2009
12:05 pm

Toucan – What’s up, kinfolk?

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
12:09 pm

I think people don’t understand the fact that not everyone is going to agree on the same thing, and when you don’t agree you’re A) lying B) on B.S.

And that’s sad if you belive that women/men all fit in the same category. We all were raised differently, come from different walks of life. So everyones POV or opinion is not going to match everyone else’s. Consistancy will help you weed out the fakes vs the real if that’s your intentions….

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:11 pm

just chillin, Sexy…..you know how I get down!!!

DK, I met this one cat from the blog….now, on-line this cat talked mad shyt ’bout how he was just slayin’ ‘em left and right…..man, we met up for lunch one day and this nikka was not only lame as hell, but trynna pick me bout the very same gals he was claimin’ to have slayed….then, got right back on the blog after lunch talkin out the side of his neck, again……I didn’t call him out….I just laughed at his ass…

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:13 pm

Dream_n, of course folks gon differ on various subjects……but when a mu’fvcka just say shyt to appeal to the masses, or try to say what they think is “right”, and ain’t livin’ it…….then I got issues with that….

Professor...in a great space

December 21st, 2009
12:16 pm

I will add this to that 12:09 dream_n said people are complexed you may have someone that get “saved on” Sunday and backslide Saturday although there intentions were good they changed a lot in those days.

Also I will say this…this is a blog not some party at your BFF house. If you by chance connect with these nameless and faceless folks good for you, and if you don’t that is good too. However there is no way I would allow blog folks to get my BP up.

I think a lot of folks on here have seen each other so we all know who is who?

czBrat

December 21st, 2009
12:18 pm

Dream_n, i think many of the bloggers have been around for years. they’ve come to know each other fairly well and accept (or dismiss) each other as ‘keepin it real’ or ‘full of bs’ based on what’s been read over time. some of us are still very new here and our POV may seem suspect, but over time who you are will become clear. no worries. just be you.

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
12:18 pm

@2C

Why take issue with that.. That man/woman has so afffect on your personal life. Folks looking for validation on a blog is straight carzy and sad all at the same time.
Hell I don’t agree with half of what some of these folks say on here. And half of those stories people put out is straight whack…

But I don’t care, I just go with the flow and read/answer questions/put my opinion out there… no matter how anyone else thinks or feels. Do I try to stay respectful b/c I can’t force my opinions or views on anyone, Yes (the operative word is try).

It’s in fun.. and if you come away from here with knowledge, some good advice, or even some new buds… all should be well.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR NO BOLOGNEY ALL CHEESE

December 21st, 2009
12:18 pm

Or say things without addressing the person youre addressing.. Thats weak.. See how this works without even saying who Im speaking with.. Just make sure youre not insulting anyones intelligence.. The difference of opinion is welcomed as long as its real and not biased.

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:22 pm

naw, lil mama, they have no affect on me at all…….I was just sayin’…….(that’s where my note pad comes in handy!!!!!!)

Sexy is SCool.

December 21st, 2009
12:23 pm

Chunking in my two pennies about my blog participation.

I have been on this blog for five years. And I am certain that you could probably go back and find posts that would directly contradict some of the positions that I currently hold. To that I say, ya’ live and ya’ learn, dammit. And ish that made sense to me five years ago or even five months ago may not make sense to me now.

I would also admit that I’ve learned ‘truth in posting’ and to be true to myself in posting. Not that anybody really gives a sht if I’m assuming a blog persona that is different than my own or attempting to cast myself in the best light possible. Hell, I just feel freer when I stick with the SexyCool edition of Keeping It Really Real.

Oh…and the other thing…you learn to take all of this ish with a grain of salt.

~giggling~

Luvbug

December 21st, 2009
12:23 pm

Just curious – how long has this blog been here?

Sexy is SCool.

December 21st, 2009
12:26 pm

Since April 2004.

czBrat

December 21st, 2009
12:26 pm

Thanx SexyC for that much needed comic relief. now where’s Leggs????

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:26 pm

“Just curious – how long has this blog been here?”

5 years…….and our girl Sexy was the first poster-ever!

Sexy is SCool.

December 21st, 2009
12:29 pm

If only blog hours were billable…..(sighs)…

Luvbug

December 21st, 2009
12:31 pm

Wow…thanks for the answer SexyCool.

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
12:32 pm

@ DK

Come on now.. I know you Mr. Tough exterior (on the blog) is not acting simple over a little comment.

Sometimes random thoughts come in my mind and I post them… and if you apply them to your life without me directing them at you.. That’s on you :wink:

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:32 pm

“If only blog hours were billable…..(sighs)…”

ok!!!!! ‘member they used to have “top commenter”…..and all kinds of other stuff…..this som’bytch don’ came a long ways!

Luvbug

December 21st, 2009
12:32 pm

Cool Shadow

December 21st, 2009
12:32 pm

Luvbug- I did catch the retraction after I posted; it’s appreciated, we’re cool, just digging the discourse.

Luvbug

December 21st, 2009
12:34 pm

and 2CPTG

@Blog comment thingamajig
Duplicate? I didn’t see the first one.

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
12:35 pm

Sometimes random thoughts come in my mind and I post them (after reading some of the posts)…. Gotta be clear and direct now :wink:

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:36 pm

Dream_n, calm down gal…..and hur’up and make them flight plans……so I can show you I’m “fa sho, and nor for show!” heheheheheheheheh….

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:37 pm

nah, Luvbug……they used to keep a running tally of your posts, and had a side section that revealed the top commenters.

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
12:40 pm

I’m not up 2C.. really.. lol

Don’t think you could hang with a city girl like myself.. :grin:

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:42 pm

matta fact…..(some blog history…correct me if I’m wrong Sexy)

this was the first blog the AJC had….they had another “relationship pilot” that only updated comments once a day….then, when this one took off, along came the others….

Luvbug

December 21st, 2009
12:42 pm

@2CPTG – In my previous post, I was adding you the my thanks for answering with SexyC and the duplicate comment was literally to the comment thingamajig that ate my post and told me it was a duplicate…LOL – sorry for the confusion.

Sexy is SCool.

December 21st, 2009
12:42 pm

Toucan – you were the first person that I talked to offblog.

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:43 pm

“Don’t think you could hang with a city girl like myself”

gal, you just don’t know!!!! This “ism” ain’t nothin’ to play with!

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:46 pm

“Toucan – you were the first person that I talked to offblog.”

damn sho! that’s why I got love for yo ass…..we can disagree, have spats, and still got love for each other…..ummmm, you might wanna warn Dream_n…….

Professor...in a great space

December 21st, 2009
12:47 pm

Dream is acting like Atlanta is Cordell, GA. Atlanta is the city Dream and we have city slickers too!

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:49 pm

yeen gotta tell her nothin’ Professor……I’ll play Jethro for her ass…….

Professor...in a great space

December 21st, 2009
12:51 pm

I have to tell her because you can go an hour outside of Chicago and find corn fields.

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
12:53 pm

Yup Professor is right… I took a road trip to Milwaukee( my home town) and rode through many of many corn fieds…

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
12:54 pm

I’ll play Jethro for her ass

umm okay… lol

Professor...in a great space

December 21st, 2009
12:55 pm

How was your trip? Did you get some cheese and beer?

2CPTG........tit for tat!

December 21st, 2009
12:56 pm

or better yet, like Steve Urkel…then all of a sudden, Steph-an Ur-kel done popped up on ya!!!!

Dream_n~Feel'n all warm and tingly inside!

December 21st, 2009
12:56 pm

LOL…

No, but the trip was absolutely worth while. Celebrated my bf’s birthday. Haven’t seen her in years, but seems like we didnt skip a beat talking back with her.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR NO BOLOGNEY ALL CHEESE

December 21st, 2009
12:57 pm

Dream – And I know youre not out here acting like a little girl playing those high school games.. With someone else Padawan try the mind tricks because a seasoned jedi such as myself anticipates your juvenile chicanery.