I Blame Hollywood
“I blame Hollywood,” Jeff said with a straight face. My buddy was trying to convince me that romantic comedies and films about love have contributed to relationship fantasies. He thinks they set us up for unrealistic expectations because we see what romance “looks like” on the big screen then feel let down when we don’t have the same thing.
I don’t know, I felt rather insulted. I consider myself pretty realistic. Do I love romance in films? Of course! Am I expecting the men I date to be the Darius Lovehall to my Nina Mosely (Love Jones)? Not so much!
I argued that if women have distorted views about relationships from romance films then men should consider their porn consumption. Some men watch porn and expect the same in real life. I know, it was a weak counter argument, but I kept a straight face anyway!
If men can distinguish from their sexual fantasies that are played out in porn, why can’t women do the same with romance in film? What do you guys think? Are romantic movies just “chick porn” as Jeff jokingly replied?
Is it hard to stay in reality when we are watching so much fantasy on tv and in film? Do you think our mass media consumption influences how we date and relate to each other?
Just for fun, what is your favorite romantic moment of a film or show?
Check out these great Cheap Date Ideas courtesy of our Atlanta Bargain Hunter, fun stuff!
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349 comments Add your comment
Dan
December 17th, 2009
11:09 am
@lurker
You seem to be 1) a woman (hopefully); and 2) under this now standard notion that “[you] can get any man that you want to. Allow me to disillusion you.
There are ladis, esp. in the A, that have the thought that “anyone less than who I want, I won’t give him a chance”. Thing is, there are literally 1,000 women vying for the same 500 or so men. So, unless you’re already otherwise engaged in a relationship….stop acting like you really all that and give the dude a chance.
Because, and here’s my Christmas present to all single ladies: just like there are guys that you would never consider, there are guys (more than you’d really like to think) that would never consider you.
Pass the word around.
Oh and PS, his “feelings” won’t be hurt. He’ll likely forget about you tomorrow.
lurker
December 17th, 2009
11:13 am
Why? I don’t know. I was being polite and honestly when he asked me to take his number, I was like cool but like I said, knew it would either be wallet space or trashed. He’s tried to catch me in passing a gazillion times and I’ve indicated each time, hey I can be nice (and not blow you off right here and now) so I’ll engage as I move towards the car but he just wouldn’t let it go. I’m serious, I said it over and over. “You know, I’m not interested, just came out of a relationship that ended badly that I was in for about 5 or 6 years.” He was like cool, no problem, I can RESPECT that and I can take no if you tell me no. He said, just let me show you how nice of a guy I can be. I don’t take that to me the next morning you getting all sappy with me.
looCyxeS
December 17th, 2009
11:13 am
Of course, I must point out, Danny Boy that your 1109a goes both ways.
Beautiful
December 17th, 2009
11:13 am
lol. you’re calling lurker a attention w*hore with a name like *I like tit tay milk*?
who’s really screaming for attention?
lawd.
I like tit tay milk
December 17th, 2009
11:15 am
@dan…why you waste the time explaining to that twit!…let her suffer in her weenieism…her whole post was a severe case of weenie and suckerism behavior….why bother bruh….
Professor~rocking a ponytail, again
December 17th, 2009
11:16 am
2CPTG….that is reasonable…I can see the suppliers getting him. I read another account that said he was telling too much in his novels and the federal, state and local authorities were using us books. It took me a minute to warm up to “Never Die Alone” the movie, but DMX did great in that role.
lurker-when you have no interest decline and say you are married.
lurker
December 17th, 2009
11:16 am
Dan and ti tay, you both are funny. It’s so not about I think I’m all that. As mentioned on here yesteday, I’m going for the gusto and if you aren’t it, don’t charge it to me as a crime. He’s not what I’m interested in, plain and simple. Like I said, there have been days where I’ve been as cold as a popsickle but trying to be nice quite often sends the wrong message. I stood there about 15 minutes and repeated that I’m not interested in a relationship. Even as a guy, if I thought I had a chance, I wouldn’t come off the next day with a love message. I would eeeease into it.
Dream_n~ I live in the real world
December 17th, 2009
11:16 am
lurker did you give Dan your phone number????
Leggs
December 17th, 2009
11:16 am
“…and here’s my Christmas present to all single ladies: just like there are guys that you would never consider, there are guys (more than you’d really like to think) that would never consider you.”
Sorry, Dan, but you can take that present back and get your money. You haven’t said anything we don’t already know!
Raqi
December 17th, 2009
11:17 am
Real life is awaking up at 2am with your hair all out of place, reaching in the night stand drawer, grabbing a few breath strips, placing them on your tongues, taking off the underwear and going for it. Or being awakened by having a hand shoved in your panties and the warm breath on your ear with him asking “hey babe can you wake up”. Or taking hold of the manpiece when gentle strokes until he is up and ready to go. That’s real life stuff.
On television they wake up looking like they just walked out of the salon, the covers are perfectly tucked, their breath is fresh, the background music is soft and merrily. Not in my house.
Try an old The Nanny or Roseanne rerun for background noise if you please. LOL If there is CD in the player beside the bed it may get turned on, but chances are if it’s me being awakened in the wee hours whatever is on the tube will get turned up a view notches as the sound barrier.
lurker
December 17th, 2009
11:18 am
Thank you looCyxeS and yes, you’re on it Beautiful.
Tit tay, with that name you are hopefully a guy, that have issues and so not aware. That was funny though.
Poppa Grande
December 17th, 2009
11:18 am
It is ironic that I see this topic as I hear about Cincy Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry death.
He had started to turn his life around and planned to get married in March. He gave her much of the credit for want to be better and quit living like he was still in college.
He and his fiance had one more disagreement and it was his last experience with her.
I didn’t know him personally but being a former Bengal player I heard about the strides that he had made in the past year.
Dan
December 17th, 2009
11:19 am
@SC
True. Thing is, guys learnt this say, oh….bout the 6th grade. I’ve made my peace with rejection (not to say that any others have). At this point, if [you] don’t want me, I don’t rightly care.
I’m just tired of this “I can have who I really want” notion, because if you could, (s)he’d be with you.
Leggs
December 17th, 2009
11:19 am
@lurker ~ you should have known he would be hitting you up early if he’s been vying for that number for so long. He probably feels that he melted away a small corner of the iceberg by finally getting the number, and that it will only be a matter of time before he gets you to that dinner table and then perhaps have you for dessert. He already checked off one box on his “to do” list.
lurker
December 17th, 2009
11:20 am
Professor, you are right
lurker-when you have no interest decline and say you are married.
Dream_n, no way hosea
Raqi
December 17th, 2009
11:20 am
I’ve been guilty of wanting a relationship like the one’s on TV
Tazzee we all were guilty at one time. LOL But like you said we grow and find out things are a bit different in certain aspects and you have to take the bad that is often hidden in movies along with the good.
Leggs
December 17th, 2009
11:20 am
Haaa haaa haaa, that definitely is real life, Raqi!
Guy
December 17th, 2009
11:21 am
“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her”
that was indeed one of the best lines in any romantic movie…
Dan
December 17th, 2009
11:21 am
Yet another Hollywood created delusion “the broken hearted” rejected dude…
looCyxeS
December 17th, 2009
11:22 am
And at the risk of incurring the wrath of the simpish ones around, there are many extra regular, super lame dudes running around not realizing that they will never be eligible. They have bought into the ‘ratio’ theory and are attempting to exploit dahell out of the numbers when they are not qualified.
Beautiful
December 17th, 2009
11:22 am
it’s only obvious who tit is!
I like tit tay milk
December 17th, 2009
11:23 am
just let me show you how nice of a guy I can be
- yea you were slow..that right screams he is on some weenieism…wow
@angie/beautiful….chick this is rell…i dont need attention..thats your dept….k…
lurker
December 17th, 2009
11:24 am
Leggs, you right. I didn’t do it to play games but I was trying to be nice and as I stated, it started with him handing me his number. Usually I’ll smile and whatever he’s saying I’ll nod, agree (if he walks with me) and keep it moving. Well, I was trying to be nice and polite. Won’t do that again.
looCyxeS - I sunk your battleship.
December 17th, 2009
11:26 am
Nice is often misconstrued as interested or at the very least that you can be “got.”
lurker
December 17th, 2009
11:26 am
Rell, as bad as this may sound, who else would say “I like tit tay milk” I wasn’t stumped by the mystery,neither was Beautiful probably. We just played along with your play play name for your sake.
Melo
December 17th, 2009
11:26 am
Proff..i share coz Raqi does it too,i feel she wanna compete with me
seriously tho,its coz my step is a tad quicker and bouncier each morning after a romp and it feels like im more relaxed the next day!
2CPTG...."art imitates life"..so they get that mess from somewhere!
December 17th, 2009
11:26 am
panties???? Raqi you wear panties to bed?
Beautiful
December 17th, 2009
11:27 am
**They have bought into the ‘ratio’ theory and are attempting to exploit dahell out of the numbers when they are not qualified**
when a guy my age approaches me and he’s single never married, i always think and eventually ask *what’s wrong with you?*
i hope for the answer *single by choice*. if not, . . . idk.
lurker
December 17th, 2009
11:27 am
Nice is often misconstrued as interested or at the very least that you can be “got.”
Absolutely
2CPTG...."art imitates life"..so they get that mess from somewhere!
December 17th, 2009
11:29 am
Sexy, I always chuckle when I see you say “extra regular”……
Guy
December 17th, 2009
11:29 am
now I’m all bawling my eyes out, thinking of that scene in Notting Hill…
Beautiful
December 17th, 2009
11:30 am
@2C
i know right! lol. BUT it’s nice to have them taken off.
Poppa Grande
December 17th, 2009
11:31 am
Almost all things in TV, Books, Movies, etc. have pieces of reality whether literal or figuratively.
I’ve always felt the Superman & Batman were more about the fact that some people lead double lives than anything else.
Or the insecurities in approaching a female like a Peter Parker.
Just like many women wish that their guy was a guy that shared his feelings is not really that different from a guy wanting his woman to have a real freaky lady. (Listen to Dwele’s song, “Cheating on my woman with my woman”)
I like tit tay milk
December 17th, 2009
11:32 am
@lurker…LMAO..i dont need you or that other chick to play nice withme…i am just spitting it from my POV..i changed my name because i was in a silly mood that day….you the one over there licking your wounds behind something that is dead….you should be off that…you have better days ahead…this current simp chasing you around the office…lets see you could told buddy long ago…i dont need a secret service escort to my car…..your breath stinks..anything if you dont want to be bothered…i dont get this whole…i was just being nice angle…sounds like drama and crazyness…but i guess we cant call black women on there foolishness…its only rsvp for the men….that whole situation is high school and you need attention…
Melo
December 17th, 2009
11:34 am
grabbing a few breath strips, placing them on your tongues, taking off the underwear and going for it.
Raqi,there u go again!
see Professor, i dont take kindly to that kinda of provocation
2CPTG...."art imitates life"..so they get that mess from somewhere!
December 17th, 2009
11:35 am
“I’ve always felt the Superman & Batman were more about the fact that some people lead double lives than anything else.”
yep…..said like a true academic…”look beyond whats there”……
Tazzee
December 17th, 2009
11:38 am
PoppaG Hey Stranger! Chris Henry’s passing broke my heart.
I must say – that final scene in Love & Basketball is my favorite too. Well the entire movie is in my top 5.
2CPTG...."art imitates life"..so they get that mess from somewhere!
December 17th, 2009
11:38 am
Beautiful….so you like havn’ yo panties ripped off?
scribblin’ in my note pad again…..”Beautiful don’t sleep in panties…..but if she wears them, that means she wants ‘em ripped off!”
Beautiful
December 17th, 2009
11:38 am
the feeling of having them pulled down . . . anticipation of what’s to come . . .
Beautiful
December 17th, 2009
11:40 am
lol
Melo
December 17th, 2009
11:40 am
Now I find myself experiencing some of those things I thought never happened in real life
Tazzee?? are u saying this in a gooodd way about urself…??
(im wishing for the best)
@Poppa, have u heard anything encouraging about ur boy’s situation concerning his hospitalization.They must have been into some really fierce argument.
looCyxeS - I sunk your battleship.
December 17th, 2009
11:42 am
Situations like the Chris Henry incident is the number one reason I refused to get into those heated shouting, out of control, acting like you have lost your mind arguments. It only takes a split second for some ish to happen that will end your life or change it drastically.
It was most likely accidental, but it don’t change the fact that dude got dead.
Dream_n~ I live in the real world
December 17th, 2009
11:42 am
@ 2CPTG
LMAO… That note pad has got to go dude…
Melo
December 17th, 2009
11:42 am
@2CPTG….”.. that too about Raqi surprised me..the panties i mean.Why go to bed like u an african chic/married woman.
Queen dont do that,whether i like it that nite or not….woman come ready.U neva know when the King wants to feed! (j/k)
Melo
December 17th, 2009
11:43 am
oh im late on this!
looCyxeS - I sunk your battleship.
December 17th, 2009
11:43 am
TAZZEE!!!!! – OUR boyfriend is now a minority owner in the the Falcons!!!!
Dream_n~ I live in the real world
December 17th, 2009
11:43 am
I agree SC…
Accidental deaths (concerning domestic)… can always be avoided by one person just walking away…. and staying away.
Professor~rocking a ponytail, again
December 17th, 2009
11:45 am
Melo I see…I see you as a leader and not one easily provoked. I know others do it but I was curious on why you did it. Just curious.:wink:
Poppa Grande
December 17th, 2009
11:45 am
Hey Tazzee!!
How r things going?
2CPTG...."art imitates life"..so they get that mess from somewhere!
December 17th, 2009
11:46 am
nah, Dream_n, I’m keepin my note pad….so if’n I meet one of y’all, I know your quirks……whether you know it or not, I got some entries on you!!! some’n like the feds, I gotta profile on somma y’all…..