accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

I Blame Hollywood

“I blame Hollywood,” Jeff said with a straight face.  My buddy was trying to convince me that romantic comedies and films about love have contributed to relationship fantasies.  He thinks they set us up for unrealistic expectations because we see what romance “looks like” on the big screen then feel let down when we don’t have the same thing.

I don’t know, I felt rather insulted.  I consider myself pretty realistic.  Do I love romance in films? Of course! Am I expecting the men I date to be the Darius Lovehall to my Nina Mosely (Love Jones)? Not so much!

I argued that if women have distorted views about relationships from romance films then men should consider their porn consumption.  Some men watch porn and expect the same in real life.  I know, it was a weak counter argument, but I kept a straight face anyway!

If men can distinguish from their sexual fantasies that are played out in porn, why can’t women do the same with romance in film? What do you guys think?  Are romantic movies just “chick porn” as Jeff jokingly replied?

Is it hard to stay in reality when we are watching so much fantasy on tv and in film? Do you think our mass media consumption influences how we date and relate to each other?

Just for fun, what is your favorite romantic moment of a film or show?

Check out these great Cheap Date Ideas courtesy of our Atlanta Bargain Hunter, fun stuff!

349 comments Add your comment

Lady J

December 17th, 2009
8:31 am

AWWWWW Diva for me Love Jones nad Spider Man 3 that came on last night!!!!!!!! Love these two movies!!!! I watched Random Hearts the other night and that was good and Unfaithful is the bomb!!!!! Richard Gere is great!!!!!

Lady J

December 17th, 2009
8:38 am

I will admit a small part of me wants that fanasty ending but rally knows realty is not what is on TV….But is is great to watch but for the most part I don’t make it apart of a relationship or even a courtship bc it is two different scripts and roles…reality vs tv…..no denial here!

Good Morning and Happy Thursday! The end is near!:)

MsM

December 17th, 2009
8:41 am

Love and Basketball… the challenge at the end. This scene is so deep it always makes me cry and I love the music (Me’shell Ndegeocello).

Lady J

December 17th, 2009
8:44 am

@ MsM just here recelty have I really embraced Love and Basketball and it is a great movie….He made me understand that friendship is important…

Professor~rocking a ponytail, again

December 17th, 2009
8:58 am

Happy Thursday…a week from now it will be Christmas Eve!

I like Grease and the Notebook. However I am a reader so if you ask me about romantic books my list would be much longer. So here you go for the books: Lone Eagle, Granny Dan, Thurston’s House and the Notebook just to name a few. We cannot forget Romantic Poems by Danielle Steel

Dream_n~ I live in the real world

December 17th, 2009
9:01 am

Morning people…

Do I expect my “love” story to imitate what’s on the big screen? Uh no, and if any adult is expecting that, then they have doctors to help them cope with the inevitable…..

Just for fun, what is your favorite romantic moment of a film or show?

I absolutely love the line..

“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her”

*I am so misty eyed righ now* :lol:

Dream_n~ I live in the real world

December 17th, 2009
9:05 am

Ditto for the notebook Professor…

Luvbug

December 17th, 2009
9:07 am

You know what Ms. Diva? This reads a more detailed description of the practical, calculated risk scenario you posted yesterday. Two people meet and live happily ever after and if you ask the two separately how this love blossomed into a forever status, the unfiltered guy version may be she was a wise choice and happened to be the woman I was with when I decided to settle down…you ask the women? The stars aligned and he couldn’t live without me.

Romantic love is a new American construct…most of the world still abides by the old rules of practicality…even many men do (and keep it a secret).

I guess it’s not wrong to live a fantasy if it keeps the relationship alive.

NY2GA, Inc.

December 17th, 2009
9:17 am

My favorite romantic movies:
(new school) Brown Sugar and Titanic
(old school) Mahogany with Diana Rosss and Billy Dee Williams and Claudine with James Earl Jones and Diahann Carroll

Le Siren- I'm baaaack!

December 17th, 2009
9:17 am

Of course women are affected by what we see in Hollywood. So many of us, subconsciously or not, use what we see on t.v. and in the movies as a model for what we think our lives should be all about. This not only covers relationships, but also wealth, status, and even what we look like. How many of us know people who strive to “have it all” because Hollywood makes it seem so simple. They constantly show people living the life without the realities of what it took to get there. Then there are those women who strive to have that “Hollywood” look that is totally unrealistic for 98% of us. Newsflash, actresses and models don’t even look like that in real life…it’s all smoke and mirrors.

I have to admit, I’ve seen romantic movies where I’ve thought to myself “why can’t I have a love like that” or “why can’t ________be more like him”? Luckily, I usually snap out of that love-drunk stupor and remind myself that this is just a movie!

Professor~rocking a ponytail, again

December 17th, 2009
9:17 am

Is it hard to stay in reality when we are watching so much fantasy on tv and in film?

No. I think you have a some folks that need to see the doctor Dream suggested, but for the most part life is not a fairytale or a rock and roll concert. So if you feel that way and you are looking for that UNreal mess…well your feelings are going to be hurt everytime.

Willie Dynamite

December 17th, 2009
9:22 am

Morning All,

Umm WD, I beg to differ. On any given night in the Dynamite household it is closer to the Porn movie than some Romantic film. With a better soundtrack of course. Don’t get me wrong we’ve had plenty of the Romantic moments and all that but at the end of the night – Boom chica wow wow.

Luvbug

December 17th, 2009
9:22 am

Just for fun, what is your favorite romantic moment of a film or show?

I think the fight scene in Mr. & Mrs. Smith at the end when they’re battling to stay alive is pretty romantic…I like the Bourne Identity type romance…low key renegade

Translation into real word…I’m more likly to gravitate toward a low key, creative guy…Marcus Samuelsson, Clint Eastwood type.

Raqi

December 17th, 2009
9:23 am

WiseDiva I agree with a couple of points made in this entry.

Yes, I do feel that television somewhat skew the views of expectation for some when it fail to show the realities of life.

I agree that the misleading of romantic comedies can very well be compared to that of the false expectations of porn.

Just like every man would love his woman to have porn star capabilities every woman would love to have her knight in shining armour.

Relationships are good when both parties are realistic in their expectations. When both realize that life happens. Many times on television things are just glazed over and soon forgotten but IRL you have to deal with these things.

Professor~rocking a ponytail, again

December 17th, 2009
9:25 am

Let me follow the logic here and it is sort of what Wisey said about the porn. One or two things are happening here. (1) We are saying that women are dumb because they cannot separate the real from the fake. Women believe romantic movies are real, just as men believe playing play station makes them a better athlete. (2) If society as a whole cannot distinguish the real from the fake we would have more bizarre stuff going on that is a direct result of not being able to distinguish fact from fiction. I am NOT talking about the balloon boy. I am talking about folks eating rats and roaches here in America because they saw it on TV, or folks doing jackass stunts at work YES on the job because they saw jackass the show do it for work.

Raqi

December 17th, 2009
9:36 am

One of the best movies is one I just watched for the umpteenth time the other day, As Good As It Gets.

“You make me want to be a better man” is the most awesome line I have ever heard in a romance movie. Being with a person that makes you want to be the best person you can imagine being is awesome. Being with someone who brings out the best in you.

Beautiful

December 17th, 2009
9:37 am

BROWN SUGAR hands down baby! i’ve watched this movie a zillion times. it sits on my dresser ready for me to pop it in. the music is just awesome. the song that plays while the credits are rolling at the end . . . yea my jam!

morning beauties!

Dream_n~ I live in the real world

December 17th, 2009
9:37 am

Distinguishing real from fantasy should not be the hard of a concept, I think we mastered that back in “middle school”.

I am fully aware that a prince is not going to come sweep me off my feet, or I’m going to fall in love at first glance, or any of that Hollyweird crap…

Come on now…. I think we should all be a little bit more practical at this time in our lives….

Beautiful

December 17th, 2009
9:38 am

*Being with someone who brings out the best in you.* love it!

Dream_n~ I live in the real world

December 17th, 2009
9:40 am

men believe playing play station makes them a better athlete

Now that’s funny.. Prof

Raqi

December 17th, 2009
9:42 am

One of my other favorite movies is When A Man Loves A Woman. And I just love Rod and Marcee Tidwell in Jerry Mcquire.

Lady J

December 17th, 2009
9:42 am

I Think I Love my Wife is a great reality one for me too! It gives the male perception of thinking of cheating and weighing the pros and cons…

Dream_n~ I live in the real world

December 17th, 2009
9:43 am

Anyone that knows me can tell you that I’m in love with love….

But real love, that love that makes you work through ish, that love that loves you in the mist off all your flaws and faults, that love that makes you cry, makes you laugh, makes you want to do all you can to keep him/her happy…

Wonderwoman

December 17th, 2009
9:44 am

When I think I romantic movies…uhmmm my favorite hands down are Love & Basketball, Brown Sugar, and Disappearing Acts and my fav ole school movie is MO’Better Blues.

2CPTG...."art imitates life"..so they get that mess from somewhere!

December 17th, 2009
9:45 am

mornin’ y’all….

yeah, that scene from love and basketball was a good one…..I also liked the end of Boomerang, when ‘ol girl told Eddie she’d break his fvckin’ neck if he turned around!!! I love a chic who lets me know I’m hers!

Professor, I started on “Thurston House” but it was too sappy for me.. (yeah, I read Danielle Steele!) amongs others……I like Zane’s “love stories”…..heheheheheheh

Raqi

December 17th, 2009
9:46 am

The worst portrayal of great romance/sex is doing it in the rain. I tried it and it’s not that great. The second worst is on the beach. There is nothing romantic about having sand all over you.

Raqi

December 17th, 2009
9:48 am

Boomerang was on the other night. Not one of my favorites however a few tidbits of comedy every now and then.

Dream_n~ I live in the real world

December 17th, 2009
9:49 am

Poetic Justice… tupac was one fine man… :)

Jason’s Lyric…

I love those movies

Dream_n~ I live in the real world

December 17th, 2009
9:51 am

@ 2CPTG

Zane???
I found her to become a bit repetative(sp?)

2CPTG...."art imitates life"..so they get that mess from somewhere!

December 17th, 2009
9:51 am

Beautiful, I bet you’re a sap when in love…..you just read like you’d smother a dude!

2CPTG...."art imitates life"..so they get that mess from somewhere!

December 17th, 2009
9:53 am

Dream_n, I was being fcetious……ain’t shyt bout love in Zane’s books……all about uninhibited sex…..yeah, they are repetitive…..

abc

December 17th, 2009
9:53 am

The first film ever was 20 seconds of a couple kissing. Romance and movies go together like peaches and cream. These are the stories that film makers wish to tell. Whether they’re based in reality or fantasy, they represent the muse of their makers.

For me personally, romance between me and my girl make romance flicks seem boring. People tell us that our lives are a Hallmark movie. I’m down with that.

Beautiful

December 17th, 2009
9:53 am

i think love stories are boosters. it can help someone want more out of their current situation if there is no romance, etc. or make the romance better.

does that make sense?

Dream_n~ I live in the real world

December 17th, 2009
9:53 am

Please tell me someone has seen

“Pride & Prejudice”

Hands down one of the best love movies ever…

Wonderwoman

December 17th, 2009
9:55 am

I thought this was a good point you brought up WD: “Some men watch porn and expect the same in real life”

Movies are an over-exaggeration of thoughts we have, they should be kept in a more realtisic perspective on the woman’s and man’s part.

Leggs

December 17th, 2009
9:55 am

Good morning. I made the easiest $100 bucks yesterday. Focus group on credit cards for 45 mins. Very thankful I don’t work in the Lenox area. Traffic is unbelieveable!

@Professor ~ Grease is lil leggs favorite. I loved the movie 9 1/2 weeks. Absolutely loved the scene where they were all over each other in the alley in the rain.

Also loved Lifetime’s movie A Message In A Bottle.

I don’t blame Hollywood. I’d be a fool if I thought what I saw on tv is what exists in the real world.

Beautiful

December 17th, 2009
9:57 am

@two can play that game
stop actin’ like you know me!!! wait . . . you do. giggle.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 7 days til my birthday :-)

December 17th, 2009
9:58 am

Just for fun, what is your favorite romantic moment of a film or show?

Man where do I start?

1. Jason’s Lyric-the part where they’re(Allen & Jada’s chracters) at the bayou and he was holding her foot in his hand,gently pouring water on it and telling her his life’s dreams…then they rolled around in the grass and “made love”. I was young then okay :)

2. Love Jones-the whole move but especially “the morning after” and he cooked her breakfast.

3.Love and Basketball-Cute movie but the end when they’re playing one on one and at the last game Sanaa’s character wants him to play one last game…for his heart. I almost cried.

4. The Notebook-The whole thing just tugged at my heart really hard.

DreamsMaterialize

December 17th, 2009
10:00 am

Morning Everyone.

I think people blend reality and fantasy alllllllll the time. On any given night in this city we can go to a social gathering and find a bunch of people trying to live a life they know is not theirs. The chick who spent her rent a purse or some shoes to appear to be more than what she is. The dude who lives with his moms but has an Escalade to appear to have more than what he has. People trying to sound scholarly when they were C+ jackasses in college. Anything that is not YOUR reality is a fantasy. People try to live outside their reality everyday.

Lady J

December 17th, 2009
10:00 am

Sassy I can’t even finish Notebook but it is a good one…..I guess

Grace

December 17th, 2009
10:01 am

The worst portrayal of great romance/sex is doing it in the rain. I tried it and it’s not that great. The second worst is on the beach. There is nothing romantic about having sand all over you. @Raqi I second that!

I don’t like watching romantic movies, too muchy touchy for me. I’ll lurk and savor on the posts though.

2CPTG...."art imitates life"..so they get that mess from somewhere!

December 17th, 2009
10:02 am

“I’d be a fool if I thought what I saw on tv is what exists in the real world.”

What you see on T.V. does exist in the real world! for every romance movie, there’s a romance story someone can attest to; I mean damn near all of ‘em….Pretty Woman – dudes have fell in love with a prostitute (hell, they even try to cake strippers), Indecent Proposal – gotta lotta dudes with bread who pay for coochie; I mean as fictional as they seem, better believe someone has had that situation happen……somewhere.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 7 days til my birthday :-)

December 17th, 2009
10:03 am

Please tell me someone has seen “Pride & Prejudice”

Dream I’ve seen that and I loved it! Have you seen “Wuthering Heights”? It’s rather old(black N white) but a good romance movie. I read the book in high school but loved the movie much more.

Willie Dynamite

December 17th, 2009
10:04 am

Brown Sugar was cool 2 me. The MosDef and Latifah characters were funny. No way my wife wouldlet me have a female friend like in that movie forobvious reasons.

Dan

December 17th, 2009
10:05 am

@Raqi

I don’t expect her to have porn star capabilities….but the desire to get close doens’t hurt;

@Prof

No man believes a video game makes him a better athelete (coach, arm chair quarterback, maybe).

On topic:

Hollywood and those romance novels have a lot of women crazy in the head. “Grand gestures of love”, “[his] determination to win [her] heart”, and “friends to lovers” are at some point something women fantasize about. And worse yet, some women want a man in their life to live up to that “romantic” ideal.

As far as dudes go, we’re victims of it too. You won’t win her over, you don’t have to fit some stereotype, it’s okay to be yourself, and (the cope de grais) the woman you end up with…..may not be a model (or anything close to it).

So yeah, believing that what TV and movies show is real, is a fault of a lot of disillusioned people. Then again, over 50% of the American public believes that angels are real. So…..

Beautiful

December 17th, 2009
10:05 am

i love love love Pretty Woman. *i want it all!*

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 17th, 2009
10:05 am

People trying to sound scholarly when they were C+ jackasses in college. Anything that is not YOUR reality is a fantasy.

Dreams Mat – Thats was a good comment

Leggs

December 17th, 2009
10:08 am

Perhaps I should have said I’d be a fool if EVERYTHING I saw…..

The “Notebook” has been mentioned here for many months now. Must see that.

@Cee ~ did you do your homework assignment and watched The Orphan???

Jason’s Lyric – when he talks about he just wants to be where she is even if its in the back of the church (something like that)

Professor~rocking a ponytail, again

December 17th, 2009
10:10 am

@ 2CPTG~ You are the MAN! Any man that will read Danielle Steel or allow me to read it to him is simply AWESOME!

@Dream~yes on Pride and Prejudice

@Leggs~see that is why I like hearing about lil leggs, lil leggs and I are because Grease is the junk>>>>here<<<<

@Sassy! I forgot about Wuthering Heights the book was better than the movie

Beautiful

December 17th, 2009
10:11 am

i remember in Pretty Woman when he offered her money and a place to live. i was like shiii*t, i’d take that! but after she said she wanted it all . . . that got me.