accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Breakup Etiquette

If you are one of those individuals that decided to break up with someone to avoid giving gifts and holiday craze, stay classy!  This is the type of behavior that gets filed as bad breakup etiquette.

A friend of mine was telling me that he doesn’t think there is such a thing as good etiquette when you are dumping someone.  There is simply no good way of saying I don’t want to sleep with you anymore. Fair enough,  but that doesn’t mean you get to act like a total jerk, either.

I’m beginning to wonder if the disappearing act is the nicest way to dump someone. Is it the lesser of all the evils? Perhaps, if you consider having an awkward conversation about why you aren’t going to work our gut wrenching torture. In comparison, fading away can look to be easiest, but not to the person who is left wondering what happened.

In your experiences, do you have good breakup etiquette? Can you outright tell someone that they aren’t the one?  When things start to go south, why does it take people so long to speak up and admit it to each other?

A strange question, but what is the best breakup you’ve ever had? How many of your exes do you still respect and love? What do you think prevented your breakup from becoming a bad episode of Cheaters?

301 comments Add your comment

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
8:57 am

Me, first???

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
9:04 am

Hola Happy People!

Ok with this topic a few things are coming to mind first Ms. Chrisette Michele and her song Blame it on Me for some reason that is exactly how I feel. If I am trying to leave I will take 200% of the blame just let me go on. The first time I heard this song I said finally someone put how I’ve felt into a song.

BLAME IT ON ME
Say its my fault
Say that I left you outside in the cold with a broken heart
I really don’t care
I aint crying no more
Say I’m a liar a cheater
Say anything that you want
As long as it’s over

this is the other versus I like
Yes I love you but I really got to loose you
Freedom is where I want to be
Yes I’ll probably always love you
But I’m moving
I got to do this for me

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
9:10 am

In your experiences, do you have good breakup etiquette?

Absolutely, when I break up with someone I leave that person with dignity and respect. I do not like those long talks. IMO break ups are like terminations the person should already know things are rocky and you call them up and let them know you have decided to let go. Wish them the best, and get off the phone. A lot of folks like to do this in person, but to me over the phone is ok.

Can you outright tell someone that they aren’t the one?
Yes, and why would you not tell someone that are not the one? Anything less than telling that person is being unethical and stringing them along.

When things start to go south, why does it take people so long to speak up and admit it to each other?

Hope. People hope things will get better. Denial. People deny the red flags and signs. Fear. Some people are afraid to be alone.

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
9:29 am

Two Word Week – Take action.

mqew

December 15th, 2009
9:35 am

Morning,

I have excellent breakup etiquette :-) Ain’t nothing easier to say then Push the hell on, or I’M pushing the hell on!!! :lol: Wait, that’s etiquette right? I think the inetiquette (is that a word?) is doing the disappearing act.

People taking a long minute to address issues when their relationship is going south is self-destruction at it’s best. Whether it’s intentional or not….

I have been married for 13 years because we don’t do that…. ANYMORE!!! We learned 3-5 years in that if we want this thing to work you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT let ANYthing fester!

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
9:36 am

Coincidentally, this was something that was on my mind recently.

It is difficult to face someone that you have dealt with to let them know that you are no longer interested in dealing with them. All too often, there is no real break-up. Instead there is a change in behavior. Calls are not returned. Dates (hook-ups) become less frequent. There is a noticeable change in attitude. Or – one party will do something to intentionally offent the other party to cause a breakup.

It’s not easy letting someone down easy. – Trust me. I know. However, it is the most respectful, caring way to deal with a person.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
9:42 am

A strange question, but what is the best breakup you’ve ever had? How many of your exes do you still respect and love? What do you think prevented your breakup from becoming a bad episode of Cheaters?

Best breakup was with the last ex b/c we were just going/growing in two different directions. He didn’t want the breakup but I knew after a while it wasn’t going anywhere. In retrospect I should’ve left sooner but no need to digress. Since he and I were good friends first we’re still aiight now but we don’t talk everyday(don’t need to). I don’t think he ever cheated on me but I’m sure Tiger’s wife thought the same thing,too sooooo.

Side note: I drove to work today listening to the Isley Brothers and MAAAAN I wanted to go back home and make a phone call. ;)

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
9:44 am

I absolutely love that song Professor…

On Topic: Breaking up is hard to do,letting go, giving in, throughing in the towel, walking away, all that!! lol

I think it’s only right to tell the person that you are no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with them, especially if you guys have been together for quite some time. Now if it’s just azz for lack of a better word, then if you get closure that’s good, but if you don’t…..well you know what you signed up for.

In my case, it was easy for me to let go b/c I pretty much done 6 mnths before the actual break-up. But we sat down as adults, discussed our situation and terminated the agreement :lol:

mqew

December 15th, 2009
9:44 am

SCool – please trust me when I say, respectful and caring, does not work with alot of people. They think the fact that you are caring means that you still want them. Trust me, I know. You gotta tell them to kick rocks.

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
9:48 am

How many of your exes do you still respect and love?

I definately still love and respect my ex. Not only is he a hardworking man, but he’s an excellent father. He just wasn’t right for me. Although he would like us to try again, I feel like I would be beating a dead horse….

mqew

December 15th, 2009
9:50 am

The best break up I’ve ever had I didn’t initiate. Dude was my first real college boyfriend. We were inseperable for an entire semester. (I know an eternity but hey I was 17yrs old seemed like it to me.) Next semester not so much. I was a freshmen and feeling myself, soooo… anywhoo. During a break, he called me and was like yeah I heard such and such (which wasn’t true, but who the hell cared, I was glad he was doing the breakup) and said it’s over. I was like, COOL! DEUCES!

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
9:53 am

He just wasn’t right for me. Although he would like us to try again, I feel like I would be beating a dead horse….

That’s kinda how I feel about my ex,too Dream…he’s a good guy but just not the one for me. I think we are at two different stages in our lives and maybe had we met at a different time things would’ve worked out…then again it may’ve been the same outcome.

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
9:57 am

mqew~ They think the fact that you are caring means that you still want them. Trust me, I know. You gotta tell them to kick rocks.

Now that is so true.

Hey Dream you know that is my song!

As for loving and respecting my exes. Well I have two that are top notch. Although my high school sweetie gets on my nerves he always checks up on me. He is a great guy and he is very kind and caring. No matter what I have been through he was there with me serving as whatever I needed him to be or do. So a nod to him. I already told y’all how I felt about my college sweetheart…he is a beautiful person inside and out. Anytime I think of him my heart smile and the day gets a tad bit brighter.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 15th, 2009
9:58 am

Morning.

“I’m beginning to wonder if the disappearing act is the nicest way to dump someone”

This is the worst and most cowardly thing one can do. Especially in Atlanta. I can see if you move away, but if you are staying around for sure, this is not a good move and shows your lack of integrity.

“In your experiences, do you have good breakup etiquette? Can you outright tell someone that they aren’t the one? When things start to go south, why does it take people so long to speak up and admit it to each other?”

In my experiences, my break up etiquette is not that great. I dont really break up exactly, it kind of fades away and somebody brings closure to the situation. I had a couple of breakups where you may get a letter or an email and I think these are the worst also. I dont know which break up is better lol.

I think everyone hates that unexpected/premeditated breakup-you did not expect it, but they knew a while ago that they were going to break up.

” How many of your exes do you still respect and love?”

I always remind myself that an ex is an ex for a reason…

mqew

December 15th, 2009
9:59 am

I’m still cool with only a few of my exes. Probably because of the Kick Rocks mentality. One is still one of my best friends. The other I only speak with when he discovers something about his parents that reveals or clears up some of his messed up childhood.

Okay so maybe only two…

Melo

December 15th, 2009
10:02 am

I’m beginning to wonder if the disappearing act is the nicest way to dump someone

the Absolute best,trust me!

The most diplomatic way to tell smeone to “phluck off” without uttering a word.

Besides,in lyfe u never know who you will lean on when times are tough,cob webs need some dusting etc.It leaves you with options you wouldnt have if u uttered the ugly words in the heat of dating angst and anguish.
Well,im telling you guys what i used to do.
Me and all my exes smile,face book and say “hello,how many kids u got now” etc all becoz there were no zingers unleashed when we went our seperate ways.

Good morning pple! :lol:

mqew

December 15th, 2009
10:03 am

And YES! BLAME IT ON ME, ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Professor – it simply rocks!

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
10:03 am

think we are at two different stages in our lives and maybe had we met at a different time things would’ve worked out…

Sassy/Dream, I think one of the elements that make love so wonderful is timing. When two souls connect at the right time you have the makings of something beautiful. However if the time is not right IMO it is like baking a cake same ingrediants but if you leave it in the oven too long it burns and if you take it out too soon…raw and yucky, but with the right timing you have something special and wonderful. Nevertheless each cake was made out of the same thing. I hope I am making sense.

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
10:06 am

Good morning.

When the guys come on bet a high %age would say disappering is the best form of etiquette because they don’t need closure.

It’s never a good thing to hurt someone’s feelings, but it’s best to have this conversation either face to face or over the phone. However, never with silence by disappearing.

mqew

December 15th, 2009
10:08 am

Disappearing acts are for kids. Be grown please. Please put on the big girl and big boi underwear. I think that act is a road to endless ambiguity.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
10:14 am

“SAY IT AINT SO BLACK PEOPLE!!”

The Rev. Al Sharpton held a press conference today to blast Tiger Woods for the lack of diversity among his mistresses. Sharpton claims that the lack of African-American women among Woods’ harem will have a negative affect on the black community, specifically young black girls.

“Why is it that a man who calls himself black can’t bring himself to cheat on his wife with a black woman?” said Sharpton, speaking to a group of supporters in Harlem. “What does it say to young black girls everywhere when you pass them over? Shame on you, Tiger Woods. What would your daddy say?”

Sharpton, who has long championed taking black women as mistresses, said that today’s black athletes need to stop neglecting black women when it comes to extramarital affairs, and should follow the examples of positive black role models such as Jesse Jackson and Martin Luther King, Jr., both of whom cheated on their wives with black women. Sharpton also stressed that cheating with African-American women would help the black community financially by giving black girls the chance to sell their stories to tabloids and gossip magazines.

Added Sharpton, “I’m not asking you to cheat on your wives, I’m just asking you to give back to your own community.”

mqew

December 15th, 2009
10:16 am

Melo – why even post that mess? Who cares?

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
10:20 am

Tiger isn’t Black. He’s Caublinasian.

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
10:21 am

Melo send me the link I want to see if they have a pic of Rev. Al I want to look at his hairDO.

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
10:21 am

Break up etiquette: do not break up before or during holidays, birthdays, or right before a big event that you all intended on going to gether. Oh, definately fail if you break up the day someone lost their job.

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
10:24 am

@Melo, is this a joke. How dare he hold a press conference talking that jibberish. So what there’s lack of diversity in his mistresses. Nevermind, this has got to be joke.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
10:25 am

mqew,when i got the eamil, i thoght it was a joke and laughed so hard.

But now,smebody tells me its for real,he(AL had a press conference in HARLEM.
Proff..i will try to find it and see if its authentic.

BackandAtIt

December 15th, 2009
10:25 am

Okay, please someone say it ain’t so. Al Sharpton wondering about the negative impact this will have on black girls that Tiger did not cheat on his wife with black women. So in essence it’s best that Tiger send the message to black girls that they are good enough to cheat with but not to marry.

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
10:29 am

when Tiger is winning the golf games he’s black, but when Tiger cheats he’s Caubinasian? lol. ok.

morning MQEW! you’re a good read today.

Grace

December 15th, 2009
10:29 am

Can you outright tell someone that they aren’t the one? I can’t outright say you’re not the one, but I have said that we’re not going in a direction that’s beneficial to the both of us and I’ve decided to continue my quest of meeting a mate that I have more in common with.

What do you think prevented your breakup from becoming a bad episode of Cheaters? By being honest with myself and him, but most of all being honest with myself.

Good morning!

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
10:32 am

Hell, I ain’t the one that called Tiger that. He made that ish up himself.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cablinasian

czBrat

December 15th, 2009
10:37 am

GM All!

i think i do the slow fade. i’m a bit commitment phobic and make that clear from jump, so i don’t put a whole lot of effort into explaining why things have to end. both ex-s/o’s are still good friends, but the ex-hubbs is completely MIA.

just LUV Chrisette!

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
10:38 am

Morning Everyone.

If I’m breaking up with you, then there’s no need to tell you that you’re not the one. It’s implied in the breakup. We also don’t need long discussions. If I’m done, we’re done, let’s move on.

Melo, where did you find that “article”? Funny joke. I thought it was a real article until about halfway through the first sentence. lol

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
10:41 am

I know it’ early, but here’s a shot of Don Julio, DreamsM, just for showing up again! Good day!

“So in essence it’s best that Tiger send the message to black girls that they are good enough to cheat with but not to marry.”

THANK YOU, THANK YOU…so, this better be a joke!

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
10:42 am

**and I’ve decided to continue my quest of meeting a mate that I have more in common with.**

@Grace
have you been ease dropping on my phone conversations? a couple of weeks back i had to make it clear that “yea, we can date but you’re not the only one playin’ this game!” i had to explain to him that i dont date just to date. i date to become exclusive. he was unsure at the time whether marriage is for him or not. i honestly dont understand that. he’s 40 yrs old. you should know what you desire by now. yes or no. if no, leave me the h3ll alone!

now all of a sudden he wants what i want. idk about this one.

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
10:46 am

I have been involved in a Cheaters-esque scene a time or two in the past. The retelling of it always SO hilarious. (Ask Tazzee!)

Grace

December 15th, 2009
10:49 am

Beautiful that’s the purpose of me dating, we’ve got to be on the same page, with the same or similar outlook on life. I just can’t “date” to date these days, my time is too valuable.

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
10:53 am

**we’ve got to be on the same page, with the same or similar outlook on life** ^5!

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 15th, 2009
10:56 am

@SexyCool – Imagine Me.

LOL can you please share a story or two with us?

I remember I had JUST started talking to this girl who was a theology student. I thought she was good and narrow right? Wrong! She said she didnt drink…I ran into her at a club and she was drunk, but I was out with some of my friends and her friends approached me like who are these girls, why are you cheating on my friend etc…lol It was crazy. We went to lunch 1 time and that was it!

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
11:00 am

so M. is a guy and Dream_n is a gal. got it!

whew!

that shows you how much i paid attention. lol.

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
11:03 am

@I am whatever~ I saw your post after the blog closed. Girl we are Jay-z, Andre 3000 and Biggie fans on the blog so we probably did not get the Enema moniker. Sorry, though! Welcome to the blog!

@Melo~ I love my Rev. Al I think I am going to get my hair done up like him for my birthday!

Hey czBrat

As for Tiger I never cared for him AT all!

Melo

December 15th, 2009
11:04 am

Dream is a guy too,Beautiful..

why “whew!” Beautiful??

u on the prowl too much,its weighing u down! :lol:

Melo

December 15th, 2009
11:07 am

Prof..if ur hair dresser cant do Al’s hair,let her/him try Jermaine Jacskon’s instead!

both styles are neck twisters! :lol:

:lol:

Grace

December 15th, 2009
11:08 am

“So in essence it’s best that Tiger send the message to black girls that they are good enough to cheat with but not to marry.” – Leggs it seems that way.

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
11:08 am

@Melo
DreamM is a guy i know. but Dream_n is a girl.

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
11:11 am

lol. not on da prowl. seems like i’m in season for some reason. hehehe.

czBrat

December 15th, 2009
11:15 am

Hi Professor :)

*dippin out again*

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
11:16 am

you gotta watch the quiet ones. this is not just a saying. my ex was quiet just like Tiger.

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
11:17 am

Melo~you know how I feel about Jermaine’s hair….that brown gel and a baby brush! That was a good suggestion I might just try it, though

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
11:18 am

Break-up etiquette? if that ain’t an oxymoron, I don’t know what one is!!!! who cares what day of the week, holiday, or whatever; if it’s over, it’s over! Sparing your feelings ’cause its the season, or you lost your job, only prolongs the inevitable……hell, if we’re breaking up, then we’ve had “the discussion” and it obviously ain’t working out……so we’ll just go our separate ways, and wish each other the best……

“that which must be done eventually, should be done immediately!”

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
11:18 am

M.Dot – too much for typing.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
11:19 am

Im quiet too Beautiful,so what u saying..?? :lol:

tiger has 10 or so heifers out there..guy got stamina tho.u gotta give him props!

Grace

December 15th, 2009
11:23 am

I think the question is how long to do stay in before you know if it’s not going to work? I had the tendency of staying in longer which made breaking things off harder to do because of time invested, but now I no longer look at time invested, I see things as they are and make my determination whether to proceed or leave it alone.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
11:23 am

Proff..jermnaine has 7 kids…
did u watch them jackson 5 on th larry king show on friday, i think…fuuuuuny!
one of his brothers was messing with him about them kids and i believe baby mamas.
they are thinking of a tour and the other brothers are kinda tinkering except for jermaine..hes ready..he needs that child support thang! :lol:

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
11:25 am

not saying anything Melo. i don’t know you to say.

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
11:28 am

Melo~ LMAO :grin: not the child support thang! Yes I saw them on larry king show…if you ask me they are washed up!

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
11:29 am

**but now I no longer look at time invested, I see things as they are and make my determination whether to proceed or leave it alone.**

here you go again chica! kudos on this one too.

kids are gone to school. was just reminded that it’s present wrappin’ time.

bbl.

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
11:29 am

Dream, Did you watch the Jennifer Hudson special?

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
11:33 am

I had the tendency of staying in longer which made breaking things off harder to do because of time invested

I’ve heard of/seen women/men but especially the women saying that they’re not going to leave and meet someone else just to have to “start over” and I’m like are you serious?(in my loud Neffe voice). So you’d rather stay with BOO BOO the fool and be unhappy cause y’all got time invested…chile puhleaze.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
11:35 am

Side Note:Mr. Fresh Baked Bread where are youuuu? Lawd I hope you ain’t “tangled up” with somebody’s daughter doin the grown….but if you are I ain’t mad atcha ;)

Grace

December 15th, 2009
11:36 am

Yes Sassy Me I used to be one of those women but gone are those days, many many moons ago. BUT it wasn’t with BOO BOO the fool though.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
11:41 am

if the sex was really, really good,”BOO BOO the fool” always has a nice an polished face make over in a woman’s eyes!
:lol: :lol:

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 15th, 2009
11:42 am

@SexyCool – Imagine Me

Must be drastic lol!

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
11:43 am

Grace good for you for the lessons learned and BOO BOO was just an arbitrary name I snatched out of the air…but I get your point.

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
11:45 am

Not really. I’m just a pretty animated storyteller. So, you’ve got to hear it to get the whole effect.

Grace

December 15th, 2009
11:45 am

How many of your exes do you still respect and love? hmmmm let’s see, 0! I don’t hate any of my exes but I don’t have any kind of affection or love for any of them either. For instance if I found out any one of them are sick or passed away I would pay my condolences/sympathy and have a silent moment.

Grace

December 15th, 2009
11:46 am

LOL Melo must all things fall back to s3x?

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
11:47 am

If we get to a point where we are breaking up.. I gives a damn what you think about it or what protocol is involved.. You just got etti-cut and thats that.. And people sittin up talking bout they would be gentle, please….

Melo

December 15th, 2009
11:47 am

Grace,its always the unspoken and taboo but very important bottom line!

Grace

December 15th, 2009
11:48 am

Sassy Me – I figured that out but I just had to throw that in there :lol:

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
11:49 am

Sassy – I heard you was looking for me.. Here I go!

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
11:52 am

@ Professor

No, I did not get to watch that special. I forgot what channel it is, but they are giving nothing but christmas movies… the lil one and I were watching!

Was it good?

(I’m gettin a lil bombarded so..i’ll peak back in in a bit :grin: )

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
11:52 am

DK, that’s what I’m talkin bout….gentle in a break-up???? whatever.

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
11:52 am

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
11:54 am

DK/2CPTG

Not all break-ups are screaming, hollering, crying and throwing things…

Sometimes you both know it’s over, but just prolong the inevitable. Then one day you sit down and end it.

I can atest to having a civilized break-up….

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
11:56 am

I should have added a disclaimer earlier – depends on what point we are in the relationship as to the mechanics of the break up, but still – it’s best to be direct about regardless.

Me: My decision from last night remains the same this morning. Last month, you said you could have all of your things out of there in three hours. I’ma give you eight. I want you gone by the time I get home from work today.

Shthead: Remember the law.

Me: The law? You think I give a phck about the law at this point. I have been patient. I have been kind. And I have been reasonable. But I tell you what – if I don’t have my key and my gate card by the end of the day today, I will show you what UNreasonable looks like.

(I immediately gathered my keys and my bag and walked out the door without another word.)

When I got home from work that day, he was coming out of my gate. He flagged me down, gave me my key and card.

Shthead: I’ll be by this weekend to get the rest of my things.
Me: You can get them tomorrow.
Shthead: I can’t come until this weekend.
Me: Like I said, tomorrow is fine.
(And drove off.)

He was there the next morning. He tried to leave some of his things there. I let him know that anything that he did not take with him would be in the dumpster by the end of the day. (He took all of his things.)

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
11:57 am

Dream_n, noone said they had to be uncivilized, either…..but all this gentle talk is asinine! a simple call will do…..

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
12:00 pm

Dream – it aint about screaming hollin and acting a fool.. I actually much more of the other.. It gets to the point where the “I dont Fcuk with you” is obvious..

Grace

December 15th, 2009
12:03 pm

I still take the other person’s feeling/ego into consideration, that’s where the gentleness comes in, firm yet gentle…..the infamous disappearing act is not taking the gentle way out :wink:

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
12:03 pm

DK/2C

It all depends on the time frame IMO… I don’t want a phone call after 2 plus years of being with you… We need to sit down like adults and forgo being together, I’m not sure what the problem would be with that.

But all this I don’t F with you or phonce caling in my opinion is being a coward…

It depends on the time/nature of the relationship…..IMO

Melo

December 15th, 2009
12:04 pm

see 11.56..thats why men shld just do invisible.

U ladies stress and take it to another level(physical) sometimes..

so its better to just go ghost and not have to call the popo for peace or becoz of some foul *&^%$#(*&^%#$*^%$!!! that jus happened! :lol:

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
12:06 pm

Um…Melo – How was I gone get ghost out of my own damn apartment? I ain’t did sht, why I got to move?

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
12:07 pm

And I was really, really calm during both of those conversations.

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
12:08 pm

All that getting “ghost” crap is just rude, not called for, and just plain wimpish…

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
12:09 pm

Dream_n…….look, if we’re breakin’ up, then ain’t that saying we don’t want to see each other anymore? So why would I want to see you only to break up????? This ain’t the “Manhattans”…we ain’t gon “kiss and say goodbye!”

JtJ

December 15th, 2009
12:11 pm

@DK…..I kind of agree with you that when the realization hits that it is over, it is time to end it. I tried salvaging relationships before and would never do it again.

RIP to Charlie Murphy’s Wife Tisha Taylor Murphy

http://www.popeater.com/2009/12/15/charlie-murphy-loses-wife-to-cancer/

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
12:11 pm

Dream – You know I thought I could be reasonable before my divorce but it didnt happen that way.. Some people just dont want reasonable.. They want all h3ll to break loose.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
12:11 pm

How was I gone get ghost out of my own damn apartment

not u, i mean the dude….

the moment he knew things werent gone well, he shld have had his stuff elsewhere..

Now,any man that lives in a woman’s house..ive got 99 qstions,like jigga! :lol: :lol:

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
12:14 pm

I guess I’m looking at it from my prospective, the only window I can look from.. Given the fact there was a child involved, it’s easier for me to want the whole sit down, talk, arrangement as opposed to a (wimp) phonecall…

But, if there wasn’t a chile involved I would still want at least the decency of an in face talk… but that’s just me.

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
12:16 pm

@Melo – he wasn’t tryin’ to go anywhere. He would still be there with the same M.O. for as long as I accepted it.

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
12:18 pm

@ DK

And I can understand different sitiuations for different people. Some people can’t handle the situation like you would or like you’d hope they would….

But come on, getting “ghost” is not the “adult” thing to do…

I guess, unless it was just an azz arrangement…

Melo

December 15th, 2009
12:19 pm

Dream_n??

for a guy,whats so respectable about being told,”get outa my house”??

:lol:
the idea of talking is to get some modicum of understanding..if u brreaking up,there is no understanding going on anymore,more than likely,there has been acrimony or disharmony for a while…

If u cant smell that as a dating adult,then sme wrong with u.

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
12:22 pm

@ Melo

Telling someone to get out of your house b/c they were being disrespectful to you while living in YOUR house ain’t all that bad to me.

Sitting Pretty

December 15th, 2009
12:23 pm

I’m beginning to wonder if the disappearing act is the nicest way to dump someone. Is it the lesser of all the evils?

One word: NO

It’s the worst way to break up, IMO. Having been the victim of a disappearing act and seeing others go through the same thing, I can tell you it’s not a good idea. I know that you think you’re sparing their feelings, but you’re really just leaving them dazed and confused. Like “I don’t even know what happened”. That’s not a cool state to live in. Lol Really, just be honest and be prepared to hurts some feelings (unintentionally)…it’s better than leaving them without the answers.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
12:30 pm

of your house b/c they were being disrespectful to you while living in YOUR house ain’t all that bad to me.

and thats the thing..coz when we parting ways,its more than likely some body or both of us messed up and emotions are high..there is no civil discussion going on…

If i cheated on yu,u found out and u are mad and u want out..why sld i wait for the inevitable..the throwing out of my clothes,dumpster trashing and public humiliation..

u ladies want touchy feely in everything…with sexx,after sexx kissing,public displays etc.. :lol:

and now with break ups too…???

GTFOH!!! :lol: :lol:

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
12:34 pm

Scool do you think being calm scared him…like the calm before the storm.

Melo~ I am with you if a guy has to live in my house where everything is in MY name and he know he was not there at closing he is putting ME in a powerful position. Whatchuknowbout jigga? Like you said I got 99 question or maybe 50 cent 21 questions???

Dream~ it was real nice. I just love J-Hud’s voice

Grace

December 15th, 2009
12:35 pm

u ladies want touchy feely in everything…with sexx,after sexx kissing,public displays etc..- @Melo – but yet you still want us!

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
12:37 pm

There have probably already been more than enough discussions PRIOR to the breakup. All issues have been vented, all problems voiced. So, when the breakup rolls around, it should be quick and simple.

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
12:40 pm

There have probably already been more than enough discussions PRIOR to the breakup. All issues have been vented, all problems voiced. So, when the breakup rolls around, it should be quick and simple

That ^ is the break-up.

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
12:42 pm

Prof – I’m sure. LOL!

As I walked out of the apartment, I remember thinking, “Now, I hope his ass is gone when I get back because I don’t want to HAVE to act a fool on this negro. Hell, ain’t nobody trying to go to jail.”

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
12:47 pm

Waving @ The “preaching” Professor .
Thanks for the welcome

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
12:48 pm

new topic: Lawd pray for me. I can’t stand my coworkers. Especially the one sitting next to me.

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
12:48 pm

if i break it off witchu, there’s gonna be some hollerin’. believe dat! my emotions and thangs will be involved obviously. i will be upset because it didn’t work out and i prolly put a lot of work, sweat and time into our relationship.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
12:49 pm

@Melo – but yet you still want us!

@Grace..i luv my ladies when they are their vulnerable self..sexxy,lovable,hot,fierce..u name it.

The moment a woman is raging hot in temper,neva a good look coz some lose all semblence of rationality.
I wld rather move on….ghost! than tell them,”oh,im leaving”

U might just leave but with a dagger stuck on ur back!

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
12:49 pm

hollerin’ = i cared.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
12:50 pm

I heard you was looking for me.. Here I go!

I sure was DK :) Since we’ve got part deux of the weather that had you feeling some type of way yesterday I didn’t know if you’d let loose on somebody’s daughter..lol. You alright today?

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
12:53 pm

Question for the fellas:

Why break up with a girl when down the road you want her back?

I have several exes that refer to me as the one that got away and they are still trying to get with me.
If it was bad, why did they dump me?

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
12:53 pm

Scool~I think when it is at the end of the road and you are very calm it says a lot more than yelling and cursing. I know with my ex I told him that it was dangerous to come to my house again and I did not visit his side of town and I kindly request the same…I said that looking him square in the eyes. He got the message!

Melo~I try not to do the public humiliation thing. For the most part I like to say bye leave me alone including but not limited to birthdays, holidays, and calls to see how I am doing. Know that I am well and I do not want to see or hear from you…if we are in a public place we will “avoid each other as much as possible without appearing to do so” ~Lord Byron.

Now if that fool push me I will make a fool out of him.

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
12:54 pm

my 10 yr old asked me for a housecoat for xmas. that’s original. guess i’ll get him one (along with another surprise from santa). the math test given by the state, the max score you can get is 600. he got a 600 last year (4th grade)! the school district just honored him last night at the school board meeting.

good job Jr.!

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
12:57 pm

@I am whatever you say I am

***waving back with a loud Heyyy there!**** As for those coworkers I know the feeling I just don’t talk to them…nada,…no small talk..nothing.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
12:57 pm

Why break up with a girl when down the road you want her back?

that maybe a figment of ur own cobweb infestation sweetie! :lol:

u read and interpret “want u back” how ever way u want but for most guys,it jus means they want to hit!

:lol:

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
12:58 pm

congrats on your 10 year old @ Beautiful

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
12:58 pm

@Melo
you on point today!

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
12:59 pm

thanks Whatever!

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
1:00 pm

@ the preacher, I have to communicate when it’s work related but this lazy bafoon always passes calls to me she can handle.
She betta watch out for the karma.
Lil miss she’s been engaged 3 times to 3 different dudes and is not planning wedding la lala.
When the day comes, I am so tempted to tell her “Make sure you show up at the church”
She’s trifling.

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
1:01 pm

typo: meant to say she is now planning….

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
1:13 pm

Sassy – Yes ma’am I am great today. I’m doing lovely today.. How are you doin?

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
1:26 pm

Yes ma’am I am great today. I’m doing lovely today.. How are you doin?

I’m grreat as well DK but I think this weather has me feeling like you did on yesterday…plus the fact that I drove into work jamming the Isley Brothers didn’t make it any better.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
1:34 pm

You can always call me and we can listen to the Isley Bros.. Atlantis I’ll always come back to you..

mqew

December 15th, 2009
1:40 pm

Enter your comments here

mqew

December 15th, 2009
1:42 pm

Hey, I commented. I said

Eminem – What Melo said… they just wanna hit. If they were serious, they would have made it known seriously!!!

Professor

December 15th, 2009
1:46 pm

3x to 3 different dudes is a bit much!

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
1:49 pm

I don’t know what you’re taling about Prof, but I agree :lol:

Melo

December 15th, 2009
1:53 pm

u mean 3 PSH performances to 3 dudes is too much Proff??

it depends,if u aint tgether anymore,it dont matter….

(were u jus ruminating and thinking out loud there Proff?) :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
1:54 pm

In my situation, they weren’t just about hitting it.
There were a couple wedding proposals involved but I declined.

Professor

December 15th, 2009
1:56 pm

Hey Dream I am talking about I am 1:00 post you just don’t plan 3 weddings unless you are elizabeth taylor

mqew

December 15th, 2009
1:56 pm

So, if they were talking marriage, then it sounds like they found the grass isn’t really greener over there :-)

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
1:56 pm

A soft, mean voice packs a more hurtful wallop in most arguments. Remember the words to it’s A Thin Line between Love and Hurt!

mqew

December 15th, 2009
1:58 pm

Leggs- what words?

Professor

December 15th, 2009
2:00 pm

Melo~ wrong chick you have never heard me talking about giving the BJ or PSH! No I was talking about the heifer that works with I am…get your mind out of the gutter :wink:

Leggs~I like doing the soft mean voice with the evil eyes :evil:

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
2:00 pm

OH… I didnt go back and read that.

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
2:01 pm

I mean Love and Hate!

Melo

December 15th, 2009
2:02 pm

There were a couple wedding proposals involved

tell me u not just saying! :lol:

a dude breaks up with u..then comes back few months later with a ring in hand??

thats a good script to sell to Lyfetime movies! :lol:

Professor

December 15th, 2009
2:06 pm

Fellas, is it ever ok to keep the ring? You know like have something else made out of the diamonds…I am thinking a nice right hand ring

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
2:06 pm

@ Melo, maybe you misunderstood. He didn’t come back after few months. He came back after years. I declined because I had already moved on by that point.

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
2:08 pm

@ Professor-it’s best to give back the ring.
You don’t want to block your blessings.

Professor

December 15th, 2009
2:08 pm

I am~how old are you if you don’t mind sharing? Also I have seen guys go back to the one they love in one case it was after his divorce. Steve Harvey spoke about keeping tabs/asking about his current wife through mutual friens and stuff…it can happen

Professor

December 15th, 2009
2:10 pm

Thinking out loud: I want some peach cobbler and a small scoop of ice cream.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
2:14 pm

@ajc…The four adults were identified as Javorris Redding, Jonquavious Hood, Tavorris Seays and Tomarkus Thomas.

look at those first names above!

They are all thieves,burglars etc.

Now,u give a kid that kinda of name as a mother or daddy,whtcu expect the kid to become??

Try President Javorris Redding?? NOPE dont sound right? :lol:

How about President Jonquavious Hood?? Ouch, my tongue and teeth got tangled,Wont do it! :lol:

President Tavorris Seays?? Naw dude,wrong profession!

President Tomarkus Thomas then ??? mayne or mayne,even kunta kinta wldnt have taken that one. :lol: :lol:

So,mama or daddy,why do u give ur kid such names?? :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
2:15 pm

@ mqew maybe not.

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
2:18 pm

@ Melo I know a Tijuanna and a Chiciquilla.

Why did their parents name them that? Why!?!!

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
2:21 pm

mayne or mayne,even kunta kinta wldnt have taken that one

Melo, you are a nut. LOL

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
2:21 pm

I had a resume client who I fought like the dickens to get her to use her middle name – Denise, instead of her first name – Shandrika on a resume. She refused.

Six months later, I received a phone call from her. She finally relented and followed my suggestion. She got three calls for interviews in the first week.

Dan

December 15th, 2009
2:23 pm

Same could be said for a Barack Obama, Melo.

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
2:23 pm

Fellas, is it ever ok to keep the ring?
Never give what you can’t stand to lose.

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
2:24 pm

SexyCool, I have seen that happened a couple of times. We hired one lady here and found out later she would be called her middle name. It sounds much better.

There is something else one of my friends told me about names and resumes but I will not say it on here. However I take her word for it.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
2:25 pm

@I am whatever you say I am

I may like her resume (Chiciquilla)but if i have to hazard pronouncing her name right but also up my disability tongue insurance,im better off picking a safe choice!

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
2:25 pm

It’s a thin line. It’s 5 o’clock in th morning
And I’m just getting in. I knock on the door
A voice sweet and low says, who is it?
She opens up the door and lets me in
Never do she say once where have you been?
No, she says, are your hungry?
Are you hungry honey? Did you eat yet?
…………….

The sweetest woman in the world
Can be the meanest woman in the world
If you make it that way, you keep on hurting her
She keeps being quiet
She might be holding something inside
That’ll really really hurt you one day…..

Here I am lying in this hospital bed
bandaged from feet to head
In a state of shock
Just that much from being dead
I didn’t think myh woman could do something like this to me
Didn’t think she had the nerve, so here I am
I guess action speaks louder than words….

It’s a thin line, between love and hate.

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
2:27 pm

Leggs, who wrote that? Tiger Woods?

LOL Just kidding.

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
2:27 pm

I’m with Dan on this one. Your birthname is your birthname. Never downplay it to cater to society’s inadequacies.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
2:28 pm

Dreams Materialize – Never keep what you didnt pay for….

Seriously.. I think its chi chi to get the ring back.. I bought it for her so she can keep it and turn it into a cool necklace and earrings.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
2:28 pm

@Dan

true,but even Barack sounds tame in comparison with some of these names..
Even with an Ivy league background,to some his is a kenyan muslim possibly terrorist.

we gotta do better i think coz some of these names is just like digging graves for our kids in the business world.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
2:30 pm

Leggs – Cute..

Dan

December 15th, 2009
2:32 pm

@Melo

The name means little to nothing. My given name has never been a problem.

It’s about talk game and experience. Get me an interview, and I’ll get the job.

Besides, why would anyone wanna be Peter, Mark, John, or whatever bland name?

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
2:32 pm

DK
I’ve never asked for a gift back, and I’ve never given one back. I’ve also never paid 3 months salary for any gift, including a ring. Don’t ever plan on it either.

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
2:33 pm

I’m with you on this one.. Melo.

Thegrdiva

December 15th, 2009
2:35 pm

Way late on the convo..I have to admit that I’ve been way horrible…sending a text msg to break up…I know very pittiful. I just didn’t want to hear all of the hollering, cussin, fussing and in the end….cryin…btw..I changed my number right after that…:)

Thegr8diva

December 15th, 2009
2:36 pm

Way late on the convo..I have to admit that I’ve been way horrible…sending a text msg to break up…I know very pittiful. I just didn’t want to hear all of the hollering, cussin, fussing and in the end….cryin…btw..I changed my number right after that…:)

Melo

December 15th, 2009
2:37 pm

Get me an interview, and I’ll get the job.

i can beleive that.

The hard part will be getting the interview.

U know us black folks make a lot of noise(good and bad) but remember,we only represend about 13 % in america.
Thats means the other majority out there controls ur destiny smehow.
only that super talented giy with a wack name wil rise head and shlder,the mediocre in the middle who may have made it,wont get the looks.
Give them a chance!

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
2:37 pm

Honestly if you ask for it back youre being petty.. I aint gonna ask for it back, to do what.. Go pawn it.. Nah baby you keep everything I bought you but stay tuned… And watch for the hook.

Dan

December 15th, 2009
2:39 pm

Also, it’s case law that an engagement ring is not the property of the recepient unless the contract is fulfilled.

Meaning, if [one] keeps the ring after not accepting the proposal, the giver could ask for the ring back or the value of the purchase.

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
2:42 pm

Life is a play to win situation. I will take advantage of what I can when I can (as long as it doesn’t compromise my integrity – notice I didn’t say YOUR integrity.)

If using my middle name on a resume (or even just my initials) gets my foot in the door, best believe, the interviewer will be calling me C.C. like a mug.

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
2:43 pm

Infamous, for those that do ask for the ring back, I wonder how many have regifted it to another unsuspecting woman?

Yeah you can get it back and sell it but the resale on jewelry is not that great. But I guess for some getting back a little is enough to sooth their broken heart.

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
2:43 pm

You are right, Dan!

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 15th, 2009
2:44 pm

@Everyone

We talked about the breakup etiquette, but is there a special Get Back Together or Rebound Etiquette?

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
2:44 pm

That was a good comeback, Raqi! Tiger could have written that. But the way things are going, he may need to take up Sir Mix-A-Lot’s song, I like big butts (on white girls).

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
2:45 pm

Meaning, if [one] keeps the ring after not accepting the proposal

But Dan, what if the woman accepts the proposal but the two breakup 1 year later two months before the wedding? She accepted the proposal. Does she not get to keep the ring?

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
2:46 pm

Tijuana and Chiciquilla will propbably won’t go as far in their career as Jessica or Katherine would.

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
2:46 pm

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
2:47 pm

is there a special Get Back Together or Rebound Etiquette?

Yeah, Mdot, it’s don’t make the same mistake twice. Stay mindful of the mistakes made the first go round and try to do better.

Dan

December 15th, 2009
2:48 pm

@Raqi

It depends. If his conduct (at that point) caused her to renege on the contract, a case could be argued that she could keep the ring. If there is no malignant behavior on his part, then no.

Dan

December 15th, 2009
2:50 pm

@I am

Not necessarily, like SC you may feel it necessary to abbreviate the name or even shorten it to get the job. Once you have your position, tell HR you want your full name on your check Ronquisha Jankins

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
2:54 pm

I think its chi chi to get the ring back.. I bought it for her so she can keep it and turn it into a cool necklace and earrings.

That’s why I heart you DK. When I was in college I went throught this “I only date Caribbean men” cause I’m Trini weeeell…for about a year I dated a guy from The V.I.(St. Thomas) and whenever he got angry with me he would take away whatever he’d given me recently until he “felt like” giving them back to me. That happened once and the second time I told him to keep it and to kick rocks….dammit.

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
2:54 pm

@ Dan you receive the resumes of Tijuana ,Chiciquilla , Jessica , and Katherine . All of them have outstanding resumes and the qualifications that you are looking for.
You firm is primarily caucasion and you already have enough minorities to fit the quota of afirmative action.
No you tell me who you are going to call.

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
3:00 pm

If an employer thinks my name is somehow a reflection of my abilities and work ethic, then I don’t want to work there. His logic is faulty and not representative of a proficient business person. Someone who wants to maximize benefit to the company won’t care about a name, and that’s the company I’d rather work for. But to Melo’s point, if you’re not confident that you’re the best at what you do, then you have to use all these little tricks to get employers to give you a shot.

Dan

December 15th, 2009
3:01 pm

@I am

There is no such things as affirmative action quotas.

However, if I feel the person(s) is/are qualified, then sure I would call if I felt they would be good for the company.

???

December 15th, 2009
3:03 pm

Hell, I ain’t the one that called Tiger that. He made that ish up himself.

i know dat’s right! naw, you didn’t want to be black so keep right on rolling being everything but. philanderer at best. lol

i don’t get it either, how somma ya’ll wanna revert back. i get trying to hit again but for close to a a year?! that’s wild. at first i was mad hurting and chanting daily, “imma be alright.” now? not even tempted to answer the phone. as much as it pains me to say, your lost buddy.

names? i was told by a friend of mine when i first started here to identify myself on my resume by the first two initials of my name cause most black women names(although neither my first nor last) end with “a”, vanessa, aneisha, camelia, regina, alisha, katina, felicia, fantasia, wanda, gina, cynthia, virginia, tonya, tomeka, tierra, renita, lisa, roshanda, pamela, tamala, juanita, anita, loretha,tisha, breanna, debra, diana, sara, shalonda, angela, tawanna, tamara, kia, sherita, linda, tanisha, deidra, clarissa, loretta, erica, triketa, trenecia, sandra,bionca, wonita, fanita, canita, bonita, carla, barbara, danita, manita, malaysia, esoterica, quashanda, honda, hohunda, falunda, secunda, rowanda, mayonda, wentunda, nowanda, kenya, africa, maretta, baptista, calita, tonaca, ricola, mojita, sahara, gala, godzilla

???

December 15th, 2009
3:08 pm

chocola, motorola, crayola, payola, colada, porsha (portia the old school version), merriweatha, tadasha, mufasa

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
3:08 pm

I am grateful my parents gave me a name that is not difficult to spell or pronounce and I am grateful that when you look at my resume or talk to me on the phone, you are not able to decipher my race which keeps you focus on the main issue at hand

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
3:08 pm

falunda, secunda,

Them’s twins….

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 15th, 2009
3:10 pm

@Raqi

Ok. So you never went back before?

???

December 15th, 2009
3:10 pm

Your birthname is your birthname

until racala swanson gets your resume tossed

Grace

December 15th, 2009
3:10 pm

??? LOL @ godzilla…good lawd

???

December 15th, 2009
3:11 pm

Them’s twins…

sisters and auntie

Melo

December 15th, 2009
3:11 pm

But to Melo’s point, if you’re not confident that you’re the best at what you do, then you have to use all these little tricks to get employers to give you a shot.

DreamsMaterialize

im an immigrant,african at that and we dont get fair shots.U are on a diff planet.

I have a very english first name..i used to get calls from recruiters all the time,when i was looking,and a lot of times,its coz of my english name and resume,i know that.
Smetimes they wld call me and leave very elaborate info on my phone about the job etc..So when i called them back, i already know what they called me for.
But it gets cold once they hear u speak.Its like I came from Zambunda on same day, on the 5.00 am plane.They then wishy wash u and say:

” “ooohh ok,next time we have smething that fits ur profile,we call u”

u neva get that interview.

Ms Chelle

December 15th, 2009
3:17 pm

There is no ‘PROPER ETIQUETTE’ to breakup with someone…hell be like NIKE….JUST DO IT :)

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
3:22 pm

Who cares about a name? I don’t care if they can decipher my race or not. It shouldn’t matter, and it won’t matter when they see my credentials. On any day, you can put my resume with 9,999 others. For 9,994 of those, there’s no way you could justify to yourself, your boss, or anyone that you chose them over me for any reason at all, especially a name. If one of the remaining 5 gets picked over me, then I guarantee it’ll be because they simply outperformed me. I also look at resumes, and NEVER have I made a hiring decision based on a name. Can you add value to the company? If I determine the answer to be yes, then we can talk further.

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
3:23 pm

I heart Melo.. I can definately understand your position.

I’m not sure what category my name fits in, but I know how to work the hell outta an interview. When I talk over the phone, you’d assume I was prolly a white woman, but once I get in the interview, I have that IT factor. I’m relatable, impressionable, solid manners, intriguing, all that…

Currently, the only blk woman/person at my company and the youngest…

Damn did I really just toot my own horn like that :lol: … LMAO

Brandon St. Randy

December 15th, 2009
3:24 pm

I will say some women (I can only really talk about black women because I don’t know that many white women frankly) shoot themselves in the foot pretty early. Give you an example: I was at a bougie birthday party the other day and I was talking to a couple of girls I’d met previously who were sitting at the bar, and the talk of course went to relationships. I asked them why they were all together in their “safety cluster” with their backs to the party, and they replied that they expected a man to come over and get to campaigning. Which is fine, but for the fact that there were a million other pretty girls mixing and mingling within the party itself, so they were essentially taking themselves out of the game. I was talking to one and when we talked about bringing things to a relationship, I mentioned I could build her a house. Her knee-jerk reaction was “I can build a house myself!” I had to explain to her what a turnoff that was. I don’t know if it’s a BW thing but there does seem to be this huge emphasis on the part of our women on being socioeconomic equals vs. a great partner.

Being a true partner means being complementary and bringing things to the table your partner doesn’t, not just being able to do the same thing. I mean it’s great that we have two houses now, but wouldn’t it be better to have one house where someone cooks, the kids are cared for and tutored, the grass is cut, and someone picked out nice furniture? I think a lot of people miss that.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
3:28 pm

When I talk over the phone, you’d assume I was prolly a white woman, but once I get in the interview, I have that IT factor. I’m relatable, impressionable, solid manners, intriguing, all that…

It’s called charrrisma(using me best Latina tongue rrroll on that “rrr”) :mrgreen:

Lurker

December 15th, 2009
3:32 pm

Brandon St. Randy

Maybe you should scale back to why women, black especially, are killing all their chances by being independant and not chasing men.

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
3:34 pm

“I asked them why they were all together in their “safety cluster” with their backs to the party, and they replied that they expected a man to come over and get to campaigning.”

That has got to be the craziest thing I read since waking up!

Dream_n~ It's that charisma that get's em everytime!

December 15th, 2009
3:34 pm

lol @ Sassy.. Yes indeed ma’am.. That’s what it is.. :grin:

Dream_n~ It's that charisma that get's em everytime!

December 15th, 2009
3:35 pm

I’m with you Leggs…

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
3:35 pm

@Brandon St. Randy ~ you did say you went to a bougie party….everyone up in that camp is probably FAKE! And, that knee jerk reaction about she can build her own house only meant she knew how to build a paper doll house!

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
3:37 pm

I can see them now w/backs to the party and a gentleman walks up and taps one on the shoulder. She immediately looks him from head to toe in a blink of an eye all w/o a smile wondering why he left so fast w/o asking her her name!

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
3:39 pm

sorry for the run-on sentence….

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
3:41 pm

Ok so since everyone knows better dont name your kids no foolishness. Let the name curse go end with you.

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
3:41 pm

Melo
C’mon Melo we’re on the same planet man. My last name is very obviously latino. Have people tossed my resume because of that? Probably. I’m not saying that people don’t make decisions based on names, but I’m saying I don’t care. You’re saying that there were probably some missed opportunities because you are an immigrant and African. Do you really want to work for someone who doesn’t like immigrants and Africans? If you don’t like what I bring to the table, then keep your job.

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
3:44 pm

A ghetto sounding ass name ain’t got nothing to do with how good I think I may or may not be.

It’s dumb to not use whatever you can to even the playing field. We’re already paying the hell outta the ‘Black Tax’ as it is.

And to Dan’s point, regardless of what you have on the resume or what they call you, your check is going to be made out to your legal name regardless. Case in point, I bet ain’t ayl-nayl one of Elgin Woods’ checks made out to Tiger.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
3:44 pm

Peace out blog fam….especially you DK ;) . Time to let the Isley Brothers take me home. :)

czBrat

December 15th, 2009
3:47 pm

I am grateful my parents gave me a name that is not difficult to spell or pronounce and I am grateful that when you look at my resume or talk to me on the phone, you are not able to decipher my race which keeps you focus on the main issue at hand ditto I am.

and i’ll add that before my marriage (and since my divorce), i’ve actually had much better response and acceptance in corporate america using my maiden (hispanic) last name than my ex-hubb’s american name.

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
3:50 pm

I know I’m all late, but yeah, the hiring folks do look at your name and “cast” you aside if your name sounds ghetto…..research has shown as much…..

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
3:51 pm

Leggs
she knew how to build a paper doll house!
I’m with you 100% on that. Usually just a bunch of people overcompensating for their mediocrity. I still can’t understand how women just wait around for dudes to approach them. You’re responsible for your own happiness. If you see something that might make you happy, it’s on you to go get it. The CEO doesn’t usually knock on your door and offer you your dream job. You have to seek it out and take it. Same goes for a mate. If you’re just waiting around for dudes to “campaign”, then you can’t complain about the results you’re getting. Btw, thanks for the shot of Don Julio. Glad you remembered.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
3:53 pm

Dreams Materializez – Hee Hee Mucha..

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
3:53 pm

CZ Bratez – Aye yi yi yi

Willie Dynamite

December 15th, 2009
3:54 pm

Afternoon All,

I never had any particularly rough breakups. I’ve always made it a point to be civil. My thought process was always to look at it from the other persons POV. Besides for me it was never about just dumping a chick. I’ll admit I usually came across a better option. When I did have the rotation going then of course the Fade-Away was the best option because it really wasn’t a true break-up. And for the record EVERY ex I have I can get some cumback if I so choose.

Sub topic – For those of you talking about names I can tell you firsthand that Names do play a very big part in the selection process. It probably has less to do with you getting hired but moreso just getting the interview. That also doesn’t mean the company is that way just the person/people doing the screening may be Azzholes.

czBrat

December 15th, 2009
3:54 pm

Ok so since everyone knows better dont name your kids no foolishness. Let the name curse go end with you. :lol: :lol: @ DK

yeah. i just couldn’t get with that AT ALL. i took charge of naming both our kids cuz ex-hubb’s was talking crazy!!! Aquanita was one of his suggestions, if memory serves me :lol:

Melo

December 15th, 2009
3:54 pm

Do you really want to work for someone who doesn’t like immigrants and Africans?

If it were up to that one individual Dreams,proly not.Even here where i work,there are pple with some funky attitudes who proly dont like them…but they dont matter nor count coz im in anyway.

My thing is,why shoot urself in the foot coz at the end of the day,all u need is a foot in the door to sell urslelf.
The hiring manager maybe a jack as%5ss but the company itself that he/she works for maybe not,so why not get a chance to impress that muthfcka and then shine when u in?

Than have him toss out ur resume,even tho the company itself is fairly progressive?!!

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
3:57 pm

@Brandon St. Randy : Alot of single women don’t know how to let a man be a man when he approaches you which is why they find themselves single.

Here’s what I’ve learned that works:

A)When out and about with girlfriends wanting to be approached by men, don’t travel in packs larger than 3 women. I have never been approached by a dude when I was in a large group of women but when I’m out by myself or with no more than 2 other ladies, I get approached

B) most men probably have already figured out that I own my home, have a car, decent job, etc… but when a man is trying to impress me, I’m sure he doesn’t need to hear my “resume” and how I can do xyz by myself.
Instead, I ask a lot of questions about the guy. When the guy wants to do things for me that I can already do by myself , I sit back and let him be the man.

C) I’ve also learned not to settle. I get approached all the time by men. I ‘m single by choice. I want to be with someone that I click with and not just for the sake of having a man

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
3:59 pm

@ czBrat : the reason why I said that is because I work in an industry where clients always want to know what race you are.
I don’t feel it is important to know when I am trying to help resolve your client issues.

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
3:59 pm

“most men probably have already figured out that I own my home, have a car, decent job, etc…” How is this possible???

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
4:00 pm

That is is they’re just approaching you???

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
4:00 pm

I was thinking the same thing.

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:01 pm

Here is an interesting article about finding a job with an ethnic name: http://www.thegrio.com/2009/09/does-your-name-matter-when.php

Professor is.....

December 15th, 2009
4:01 pm

Bradon St. Randy~ I am going to leave that alone. Well I lied 1st if you just met a woman she does not want to hear about you building her a house. Folks don’t want to hear that foolishness. 2nd if they were sitting at the bar it could have been the stilletos were hurting that little toe or maybe aunt flow messed up her dress hell it could have been a number of reasons unrelated to the black man.

The word bougie is so over used and misused

Melo/Dream~ as an HR professional I have heard tales about what’s in a name but I have never exp it personally. I do know there are a lot of high performing organizations that welcomes diversity.

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
4:02 pm

So I change/alter my name in an attempt to “level” the playing field. I get the interview, and subsequently the job. Now when I get there, I realize they don’t like people with “different” names. They also tend to ostracize people who are culturally different. Now maybe they also assign high profile projects to people based on the same faulty logic that they used to hire people. I now hate this job and wish I were somewhere else. So, in gaming the system to “level” the playing field, I’ve really only gamed myself.

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:03 pm

Leggs, and Sexy……..I was thinking the same thing…..don’t nobody know nothin’ ’bout you if they’re just approaching you…….c’mon gal, tell us the truth, you wear yo credentials on yo sleeve!

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:03 pm

It should be a law that one must wear deodorant (my coworkers stink!)
:-(

Melo

December 15th, 2009
4:04 pm

thank u for that article, “I am whatever you say I am”

u need more than a degree or degrees and competency in this country,i tell ya.

wake up pple!!

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:05 pm

@Leggs : this is the 21st century.
The odds that most women owm their own home, etc… is greater than the 1940’s

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:06 pm

@ Melo: You’re Welcome

czBrat

December 15th, 2009
4:07 pm

I am i understand completely. that’s why i agreed with you 100%. i’ve always said that no one could pick me out of a line-up if they were trying to match my linguistics NOR my name to my face. and that’s just the way i like it! no need to play personal guessing games, just focus on the objective at hand.

i also believe that the hispanic last name could potentially be a negative in this society, except for the fact that i’m bilingual so it becomes an instant plus. just my opinion.

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
4:07 pm

Dreams – Seriously? Wow. What is YOUR name? It ain’t that deep, dude/chick? (not sure)

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:09 pm

Also @ Melo: ever notice how Asians in this country have “caucasion” sounding names whereas their birth certificates say otherwise.

HM Roberts

December 15th, 2009
4:09 pm

My college roommate broke up with her boyfriend by giving him a gift-wrapped copy of his marriage license over coffee at Starbucks.

I once told a guy “the voices in my head are telling me its over with you. dont you hear them?”

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:10 pm

@ czBrat : My bad! missed the ditto!

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
4:11 pm

BS….but ok on more than in the 1940s

If I was a dude and I just met you at at a bar, the high museum, Fox Theatre or Alliance Theatre, I would not know you owned a home. Nor would I know if you’re single w/a good job. This is definitely the 21st century, but would you expect every woman or man you meet is divorced just because they’re not wearing a wedding ring. Hell, they did that in the 40’s too!

Professor is.....

December 15th, 2009
4:11 pm

It has been my observation that names are not the only thing that tells your race…many folks attend HBCU so that is another deciding factor I have a mainstream that is not ethnic I did not attend a HBCU, but at the end of the day I am with Dream I do not want your job if you do not want me there or if you are going to get me there and give me a glass ceiling

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:11 pm

HM…..are you related to Oral? just heard he pased…..first prosperity preacher don’ gone home……….

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
4:13 pm

The only way I would know that is if you sat there bragging about your stucco home with the bay windows, or the carpet that needs cleaning or if I knew anyone who did pressure washing. I wouldn’t know about your job just by meeting if you if you didn’t start spewing all things about your job. I get what you’re saying, just harping on the way your said it!

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:14 pm

speakin of HBCU’s……ummmm, can we take up a collection for Morris Brown? would hate to see ‘em close……

Melo

December 15th, 2009
4:15 pm

Dreams,if its working out fine for u out there,dont change it….

Proff.i have seen it first hand.Aint pretty.

It sure helps a lot to go to a good school and get that american credential, but…….
some of my african folks sure have some funky zambunda names,its not pretty!

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:15 pm

Leggs, be easy now……you know what she was doing…..wasn’t hard to peep….

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:15 pm

at Professor is….. : many caucasions attend HBCUs to appear diverse on their resumes and to benefit from minority scholarships.
African Americans can to the same: If you attended a HBCU as undergrad attend a non HBCU for grad.

Dream_n~ It's that charisma that get's em everytime!

December 15th, 2009
4:16 pm

stucco home with the bay windows

I don’t like stucco.. I’d rather brick, but the big bay window can definatley stay…

A key West style home is in my near future….

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:16 pm

typo: meant to say African Americans can do the same

Professor is.....

December 15th, 2009
4:17 pm

I am with you on Morris Brown…founded by freed slaves we need to do something out of respect for those former slaves…I believe it was in 1881 and I love what Alonzo Herndon used to do for the AU center

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 15th, 2009
4:18 pm

Afternoon All!

Hey DreamsMaterialize! Sorry about the job thing!

Im sure some people have looked at the spelling of my first name and wondered what race I was, its sad that its that serious. Your name overshadows your skills.

Hope everyone is doing well!

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:19 pm

@ Leggs: are you looking for attention since I am not conceding your responses?

czBrat

December 15th, 2009
4:20 pm

Asians in this country have “caucasion” sounding names whereas their birth certificates say otherwise. birth names are waaaaaaay otherwise :lol: it’s no secret that other ethnicities play the game much smarter. they will rename themselves “Lynn” and “Sam” without a second thought and keep on keeping on with materializing their american dream.

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:20 pm

hmmmnnn…. I wonder if caucasion mothers of bi-racial children have thought to give their child an ethnic name.

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:20 pm

Mo…is Moeisha your real first name?

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 15th, 2009
4:21 pm

I feel bad for Morris Brown and Im wondering: where is all the alumni? And did you all read the article in the paper Sunday?

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
4:21 pm

so why not get a chance to impress that muthfcka and then shine when u in?
Because we have other choices. If a company has an a-hole repesenting them, then that’s their loss. I’ll go somewhere else, where they have the business sense to have reasonable people serve as the face of their company. HR shouldn’t really be interviewing people anyway. They rarely have enough knowledge of the position skills to make an informed decision. Not only that, but small business account for about 70 percent of businesses. So, more than likely, the person interviewing you is the person you will be working for.

Professor is.....

December 15th, 2009
4:21 pm

I am~ I know that and I realize that Morehouse top grade was white. Usually when I write I don’t deal with the small stuff, however if your name is Kenzekia and you went to Clark or FAMU folks think you are black. Just like I my name is basic and the famous folks with my name are white and I went to white schools I get the :shock: on interviews because they thought the Professor was an old white lady, and not this young fine racehorse

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
4:21 pm

No, not looking for attention, just playing with the wording. It’s what I do.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 15th, 2009
4:22 pm

2CPTG – no Moeisha isnt my real name. SJ3000 gave me that name! :0)

Melo

December 15th, 2009
4:23 pm

did they send that Prez to prison?/ the one who stole money??

whatever happened to Hightower and the Abernathy guy,both went to prison for sticky fingers?? :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:25 pm

@ Professor is….. LOL @ “get the on interviews because they thought the Professor was an old white lady, and not this young fine racehorse”

Melo

December 15th, 2009
4:26 pm

DreamsMaterialize

the Hr pple pick the resumes,send them to hiring manager,he says fine,he say no ,on this one…

urs neva makes it to the hiring manager unless he selects resumes himself.

i work for a big company tho!

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:26 pm

“they thought the Professor was an old white lady, and not this young fine racehorse”

damn, fa real!!!!!

now scribblin in my notepad…..Mo gotta big ‘ol booty…and professor is not only smart, but a stallion too……

HM Roberts

December 15th, 2009
4:27 pm

@2CPTG…holla! No relation to Oral :-) .

on the name sidebar… 1)my name ends with A 2)its Russian 3)I’m not russian

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 15th, 2009
4:28 pm

2CPTG – LMAO! Yeah I got ‘junk in the trunk’….mad at you keepin notes on that!

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:29 pm

HM…..my name is greek, go figure……my real name, that is…..

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
4:30 pm

Much love to Morris Brown. If they do have the opportunity to come back, then we have to make sure they have competent people in there who really care about the school and the students.

I am
Is it a disadvantage to have gone to an HBCU?

Professor is.....

December 15th, 2009
4:31 pm

My real name is also Biblical…so maybe Eddie Long will hire me one day or Creflo Dollar

czBrat

December 15th, 2009
4:31 pm

2CPTG… how the he!! you gonna call Professor a stallion???? :shock: i’m guessing you were thinking mare. :lol:

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:31 pm

Mo….I’on miss too much, Ms. Lady……..just didn’t comment the other day when you mentioned it….

Professor is.....

December 15th, 2009
4:32 pm

I would teach a class for free at Morris Brown, though to give back and help out.

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:34 pm

semantics, Brat, mere semantics……what, did I miss your attributes? c’mere, sugar and tell 2 what you workin’ with……

Professor is.....

December 15th, 2009
4:34 pm

czBrat, I saw that but 2CPTG is cool so I let it slide, actually I consider myself a little filly

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
4:35 pm

Melo
I know that’s how it is at most big companies. When I worked at larger companies I hated that HR picked resumes because they knew nothing about the skills set I was looking for. All the people I hired, I found myself. It would take me forever to wait for HR to find me someone that matched what I was looking for.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 15th, 2009
4:35 pm

2CPTG – LMAO! alright dude

DreamsMaterialize – I dont feel its a disadvantage to have attended an HBCU. But that is just my experience. I hope Morris Brown can bounce back as well.

czBrat

December 15th, 2009
4:35 pm

Morris Brown has been on the decline for a looooong time. it was barely holding on when i was at Clark 20 eyears ago. it will take a major community and alumni effort to make it viable again.

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:36 pm

I read the article this past weekend about Mo Brown……how can their graduates get into grad school if they’ve lost accreditation?

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
4:36 pm

Mo
wassup girl. How you been? I brought a Pepsi for you.

czBrat

December 15th, 2009
4:37 pm

LMAO @ 2C. no, no. i’m the wallflower in the room. don’t take notes on me. :)

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
4:38 pm

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 15th, 2009
4:39 pm

DreamsMaterialize – Im hanging in here! Thanx for my pepsi! I sho’ need it right now!

2CPTG – I wondered the same thing about Morris Brown

For Real

December 15th, 2009
4:41 pm

“1)my name ends with A 2)its Russian 3)I’m not russian” – What is Vodka? Alex.

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:41 pm

what you laughin’ at Raqi……..been had yo vitals down…..shiiiiid, you know what the deal is!!!!

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:41 pm

@DreamsMaterialize : No it is not a disadvantage to attend a HBCU.
I pride myself in being Howard alumni.

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:42 pm

it is a disadvantage if your school (HBCU or not) goes under.
Look at Morris Brow

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:43 pm

typo: Look at Morris Brown

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
4:43 pm

problem is that many of the alumni won’t support Mo B anymore because of the many times the institution has been mismanaged in the past.

Tom

December 15th, 2009
4:43 pm

Simple note is the best way……

Dear ______,

Welcome to Dumpsville.

Population: YOU!

Tom

Professor is.....

December 15th, 2009
4:45 pm

I guess the problem I have is Life University did not experience as much backlash when they went down, but look at Morris Brown. I really feel like Morris Brown alumni and the community should keep on moving and assist with getting the school back on track.

HM Roberts

December 15th, 2009
4:45 pm

@For Real.. although i enjoy a good martini, its not Vodka

For Real

December 15th, 2009
4:46 pm

“My real name is also Biblical” – Who is Zilla?

Professor is.....

December 15th, 2009
4:46 pm

How would you all react if you received that letter from Tom?

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
4:47 pm

2CPTG, I am laughing at you and Ms. Leggs.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 15th, 2009
4:48 pm

Professor – I feel the same way, I think Alumni needs to really step up and then others will be more ready to help.

I am whatever ……- I too am proud HBCU alum, Hampton U.

Ya’ll be easy, gotta go get Lil Mo! See ya tomorrow

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:49 pm

I AM…..HU, eh? that was one of my last choices before deciding to go where I went……I’mma be real, I regret not going to an HBCU…..all good tho, “the man” opened my eyes to a lotta shyt……like Cube said in “Higher Learning”, I was behind enemy lines…..

For Real

December 15th, 2009
4:50 pm

I believe they should merge all of the HBCU’s here and throughout the country into a single University. Atlanta HBCU’s should merge and change the name to King University. Keep the current name as schools of study.

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:51 pm

Dang Raqi, I was hopin’ you wanted to update your stats……you know, it’s been awhile, specially after baby Elizabeth and all…..

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
4:51 pm

@ 2CPTG……holla: I begged to go to Howard.
After going thru predominatly white school systems I wanted to learn more about my history other than Martin Luther King and Malcom X.
I wanted to learn from Black professors that were actively working in the fields they taught.
Ironically, my first semester at Howard, my professors were caucasion.

For Real

December 15th, 2009
4:53 pm

On topic: Keep it simple: Looka here yeahhhh this is just not working for me anymore so give me back the mood ring I gave you and you be easy.

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
4:53 pm

For Real
I went to Morehouse, and I agree with merging the schools and keeping the current names as separate colleges within the university. We should have done that years ago, but pride has kept us from doing that.

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
4:54 pm

Good night!

A great breakup line that speaks volumes is:

“I’m not over my ex”!

The sweetest woman in the world could be the meanest woman in the world if you make it that way……

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:55 pm

Howard, Hampton, Clark, Mo’house…..love it!!!!!!

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
4:56 pm

2CPTG, you mean did my hips get a little bigger? Yep.

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
4:58 pm

“you mean did my hips get a little bigger? Yep”

lawd hammercy!!!!!! ummmmm……neva mind….you might tell Mase.

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
4:59 pm

2Can, believe he don’t hate it the least bit. LOL

Good night yall.

For Real

December 15th, 2009
5:18 pm

“but pride has kept us from doing that” – It has nothing to do with pride. I all about the MONEY!!!

“you mean did my hips get a little bigger? Yep” – For Real now mummbling something manish in pig latin

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
5:33 pm

Anyone remember when Laney used to write on the blog with Wise Diva?
What ever happened to her?

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
5:40 pm

I am, she got “runned” off!!!!

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
5:41 pm

oh! she got let go!
tell me the details

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
5:42 pm

I’on know the details….was just speculating……but what da hell you still doin’ on here!

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
5:46 pm

I’m at work. That’s why I’m still here

2CPTG......holla!

December 15th, 2009
6:09 pm

well, tell ya boss you’re ready to go home!!!!