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Breakup Etiquette

If you are one of those individuals that decided to break up with someone to avoid giving gifts and holiday craze, stay classy!  This is the type of behavior that gets filed as bad breakup etiquette.

A friend of mine was telling me that he doesn’t think there is such a thing as good etiquette when you are dumping someone.  There is simply no good way of saying I don’t want to sleep with you anymore. Fair enough,  but that doesn’t mean you get to act like a total jerk, either.

I’m beginning to wonder if the disappearing act is the nicest way to dump someone. Is it the lesser of all the evils? Perhaps, if you consider having an awkward conversation about why you aren’t going to work our gut wrenching torture. In comparison, fading away can look to be easiest, but not to the person who is left wondering what happened.

In your experiences, do you have good breakup etiquette? Can you outright tell someone that they aren’t the one?  When things start to go south, why does it take people so long to speak up and admit it to each other?

A strange question, but what is the best breakup you’ve ever had? How many of your exes do you still respect and love? What do you think prevented your breakup from becoming a bad episode of Cheaters?

301 comments Add your comment

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
12:47 pm

Waving @ The “preaching” Professor .
Thanks for the welcome

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
12:48 pm

new topic: Lawd pray for me. I can’t stand my coworkers. Especially the one sitting next to me.

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
12:48 pm

if i break it off witchu, there’s gonna be some hollerin’. believe dat! my emotions and thangs will be involved obviously. i will be upset because it didn’t work out and i prolly put a lot of work, sweat and time into our relationship.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
12:49 pm

@Melo – but yet you still want us!

@Grace..i luv my ladies when they are their vulnerable self..sexxy,lovable,hot,fierce..u name it.

The moment a woman is raging hot in temper,neva a good look coz some lose all semblence of rationality.
I wld rather move on….ghost! than tell them,”oh,im leaving”

U might just leave but with a dagger stuck on ur back!

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
12:49 pm

hollerin’ = i cared.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
12:50 pm

I heard you was looking for me.. Here I go!

I sure was DK :) Since we’ve got part deux of the weather that had you feeling some type of way yesterday I didn’t know if you’d let loose on somebody’s daughter..lol. You alright today?

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
12:53 pm

Question for the fellas:

Why break up with a girl when down the road you want her back?

I have several exes that refer to me as the one that got away and they are still trying to get with me.
If it was bad, why did they dump me?

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
12:53 pm

Scool~I think when it is at the end of the road and you are very calm it says a lot more than yelling and cursing. I know with my ex I told him that it was dangerous to come to my house again and I did not visit his side of town and I kindly request the same…I said that looking him square in the eyes. He got the message!

Melo~I try not to do the public humiliation thing. For the most part I like to say bye leave me alone including but not limited to birthdays, holidays, and calls to see how I am doing. Know that I am well and I do not want to see or hear from you…if we are in a public place we will “avoid each other as much as possible without appearing to do so” ~Lord Byron.

Now if that fool push me I will make a fool out of him.

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
12:54 pm

my 10 yr old asked me for a housecoat for xmas. that’s original. guess i’ll get him one (along with another surprise from santa). the math test given by the state, the max score you can get is 600. he got a 600 last year (4th grade)! the school district just honored him last night at the school board meeting.

good job Jr.!

The "preaching" Professor

December 15th, 2009
12:57 pm

@I am whatever you say I am

***waving back with a loud Heyyy there!**** As for those coworkers I know the feeling I just don’t talk to them…nada,…no small talk..nothing.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
12:57 pm

Why break up with a girl when down the road you want her back?

that maybe a figment of ur own cobweb infestation sweetie! :lol:

u read and interpret “want u back” how ever way u want but for most guys,it jus means they want to hit!

:lol:

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
12:58 pm

congrats on your 10 year old @ Beautiful

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
12:58 pm

@Melo
you on point today!

Beautiful

December 15th, 2009
12:59 pm

thanks Whatever!

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
1:00 pm

@ the preacher, I have to communicate when it’s work related but this lazy bafoon always passes calls to me she can handle.
She betta watch out for the karma.
Lil miss she’s been engaged 3 times to 3 different dudes and is not planning wedding la lala.
When the day comes, I am so tempted to tell her “Make sure you show up at the church”
She’s trifling.

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
1:01 pm

typo: meant to say she is now planning….

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
1:13 pm

Sassy – Yes ma’am I am great today. I’m doing lovely today.. How are you doin?

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 9 days til my birthday :-)

December 15th, 2009
1:26 pm

Yes ma’am I am great today. I’m doing lovely today.. How are you doin?

I’m grreat as well DK but I think this weather has me feeling like you did on yesterday…plus the fact that I drove into work jamming the Isley Brothers didn’t make it any better.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 15th, 2009
1:34 pm

You can always call me and we can listen to the Isley Bros.. Atlantis I’ll always come back to you..

mqew

December 15th, 2009
1:40 pm

Enter your comments here

mqew

December 15th, 2009
1:42 pm

Hey, I commented. I said

Eminem – What Melo said… they just wanna hit. If they were serious, they would have made it known seriously!!!

Professor

December 15th, 2009
1:46 pm

3x to 3 different dudes is a bit much!

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
1:49 pm

I don’t know what you’re taling about Prof, but I agree :lol:

Melo

December 15th, 2009
1:53 pm

u mean 3 PSH performances to 3 dudes is too much Proff??

it depends,if u aint tgether anymore,it dont matter….

(were u jus ruminating and thinking out loud there Proff?) :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
1:54 pm

In my situation, they weren’t just about hitting it.
There were a couple wedding proposals involved but I declined.

Professor

December 15th, 2009
1:56 pm

Hey Dream I am talking about I am 1:00 post you just don’t plan 3 weddings unless you are elizabeth taylor

mqew

December 15th, 2009
1:56 pm

So, if they were talking marriage, then it sounds like they found the grass isn’t really greener over there :-)

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
1:56 pm

A soft, mean voice packs a more hurtful wallop in most arguments. Remember the words to it’s A Thin Line between Love and Hurt!

mqew

December 15th, 2009
1:58 pm

Leggs- what words?

Professor

December 15th, 2009
2:00 pm

Melo~ wrong chick you have never heard me talking about giving the BJ or PSH! No I was talking about the heifer that works with I am…get your mind out of the gutter :wink:

Leggs~I like doing the soft mean voice with the evil eyes :evil:

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 15th, 2009
2:00 pm

OH… I didnt go back and read that.

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
2:01 pm

I mean Love and Hate!

Melo

December 15th, 2009
2:02 pm

There were a couple wedding proposals involved

tell me u not just saying! :lol:

a dude breaks up with u..then comes back few months later with a ring in hand??

thats a good script to sell to Lyfetime movies! :lol:

Professor

December 15th, 2009
2:06 pm

Fellas, is it ever ok to keep the ring? You know like have something else made out of the diamonds…I am thinking a nice right hand ring

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
2:06 pm

@ Melo, maybe you misunderstood. He didn’t come back after few months. He came back after years. I declined because I had already moved on by that point.

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
2:08 pm

@ Professor-it’s best to give back the ring.
You don’t want to block your blessings.

Professor

December 15th, 2009
2:08 pm

I am~how old are you if you don’t mind sharing? Also I have seen guys go back to the one they love in one case it was after his divorce. Steve Harvey spoke about keeping tabs/asking about his current wife through mutual friens and stuff…it can happen

Professor

December 15th, 2009
2:10 pm

Thinking out loud: I want some peach cobbler and a small scoop of ice cream.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
2:14 pm

@ajc…The four adults were identified as Javorris Redding, Jonquavious Hood, Tavorris Seays and Tomarkus Thomas.

look at those first names above!

They are all thieves,burglars etc.

Now,u give a kid that kinda of name as a mother or daddy,whtcu expect the kid to become??

Try President Javorris Redding?? NOPE dont sound right? :lol:

How about President Jonquavious Hood?? Ouch, my tongue and teeth got tangled,Wont do it! :lol:

President Tavorris Seays?? Naw dude,wrong profession!

President Tomarkus Thomas then ??? mayne or mayne,even kunta kinta wldnt have taken that one. :lol: :lol:

So,mama or daddy,why do u give ur kid such names?? :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
2:15 pm

@ mqew maybe not.

I am whatever you say I am

December 15th, 2009
2:18 pm

@ Melo I know a Tijuanna and a Chiciquilla.

Why did their parents name them that? Why!?!!

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
2:21 pm

mayne or mayne,even kunta kinta wldnt have taken that one

Melo, you are a nut. LOL

SexyCool - Imagine Me.

December 15th, 2009
2:21 pm

I had a resume client who I fought like the dickens to get her to use her middle name – Denise, instead of her first name – Shandrika on a resume. She refused.

Six months later, I received a phone call from her. She finally relented and followed my suggestion. She got three calls for interviews in the first week.

Dan

December 15th, 2009
2:23 pm

Same could be said for a Barack Obama, Melo.

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
2:23 pm

Fellas, is it ever ok to keep the ring?
Never give what you can’t stand to lose.

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
2:24 pm

SexyCool, I have seen that happened a couple of times. We hired one lady here and found out later she would be called her middle name. It sounds much better.

There is something else one of my friends told me about names and resumes but I will not say it on here. However I take her word for it.

Melo

December 15th, 2009
2:25 pm

@I am whatever you say I am

I may like her resume (Chiciquilla)but if i have to hazard pronouncing her name right but also up my disability tongue insurance,im better off picking a safe choice!

Leggs

December 15th, 2009
2:25 pm

It’s a thin line. It’s 5 o’clock in th morning
And I’m just getting in. I knock on the door
A voice sweet and low says, who is it?
She opens up the door and lets me in
Never do she say once where have you been?
No, she says, are your hungry?
Are you hungry honey? Did you eat yet?
…………….

The sweetest woman in the world
Can be the meanest woman in the world
If you make it that way, you keep on hurting her
She keeps being quiet
She might be holding something inside
That’ll really really hurt you one day…..

Here I am lying in this hospital bed
bandaged from feet to head
In a state of shock
Just that much from being dead
I didn’t think myh woman could do something like this to me
Didn’t think she had the nerve, so here I am
I guess action speaks louder than words….

It’s a thin line, between love and hate.

Raqi

December 15th, 2009
2:27 pm

Leggs, who wrote that? Tiger Woods?

LOL Just kidding.

DreamsMaterialize

December 15th, 2009
2:27 pm

I’m with Dan on this one. Your birthname is your birthname. Never downplay it to cater to society’s inadequacies.