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Single-ish During the Holidays

If you have a current person of interest things can get tricky.  Holidays has this weird double-edged sword effect.  From the awkward gift exchanges, to meeting friends and family,to  accompanying each other to parties – it can  accelerate a good thing, or hit the brakes on a bad one.

If you have only just started seeing each other, expectations during the holiday should be kept in perspective.  I think it is a good idea to use the extra time you have together to do fun activities that allow you to showcase your personalities.

Instead of conforming to the idea of being a “couple during the holidays” why not seize the opportunity to be relaxed and silly. No expectations or obligations.

If you don’t get to spend a lot of time with the your new person of interest, don’t count it all bad. They may have had prior social obligations or trips already scheduled. It doesn’t mean they are not interested.

What are you planning for the holidays? Will you be going to a lot of events solo or do you plan to take someone you are spending time with now?

What will you do about gift exchange? Do you plan to bring it up? Ignore it altogether? Would you be uncomfortable giving gifts to someone you just started dating?

If you have only just met, but you are really enjoying the person’s company, what kind of gift would be appropriate?

Are you single or single-ish for the holidays?

Happy Monday!

255 comments Add your comment

Lady J

December 14th, 2009
2:10 pm

MELO I AM SCREAMING LAUGHING @ YOU!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really tried not to post you are a riot! LOL

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 14th, 2009
2:11 pm

Slim – Nah babe I rather save that for the shaggin.. It makes the explosion more intense for the both of us.. I mean it aint no substitute for the real thing.. It aint nothing like being between the banks of the amazon..

Grace

December 14th, 2009
2:13 pm

one comes in for 4 motnhts,they push,she out,then in anoher – Melo you’ve got a point there, this has happened to me minus the “push”. :evil:

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 14th, 2009
2:17 pm

@Professor

LOL that is crazy…lol so will your uncle be at the Christmas festivities…lol

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 14th, 2009
2:17 pm

Its the weather ya’ll.. I just want to be at home tangled up with somebodys daughter.. Chasing her round the house and everytime I catch her I get to get her..

Ahh but theres work to be done.. Gotta make the donuts..

Melo

December 14th, 2009
2:19 pm

M(dot) the best way to learn dating and stuff and chics is to actually be involved.
U make ur own mistakes,u get played by chics a cpple times,u meet good ones and u the one who phluck up etc..thats the way to learn.

Asking qstions on the blog..it wont get u very far coz most folks wil be fronting anyway..they may not tell u the real deal…this is a singles blog for the most part,so u in competition…why wld smebody want u to get Proffessor and not get her for themeslevs?/ makes sense to u??

So go out there,have fun,shang it..ull learn ur lessons.

Raqi

December 14th, 2009
2:24 pm

Its the weather ya’ll

Yep this weather makes you want to exchange body heat.

It was so cold Saturday if felt like the inside of my body was cold.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 10 days til my birthday :-)

December 14th, 2009
2:29 pm

Yeah this weather’s got me feeling rather “friendly”,too DK….

SexyCool - looCyxeS

December 14th, 2009
2:29 pm

Spent the weekend cuddled up under blankets, drinking cherry rum and watching movies and finishing up season one of 24.

A bonus of working underground in this kind of weather – I can’t see it; so, it’s easier to forget that I’d rather be in bed.

Dan

December 14th, 2009
2:31 pm

@Melo

That (re – 2:07) ain’t a rotation, that’s life homie.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 14th, 2009
2:38 pm

@Melo

LoL I got you and I am dating I just dont have a starter that I am confident in yet…. (I live in Atlanta so the opportunity is always there). You did make a good point. Some people do front and they come off like they never make mistakes or never slip up. They probably getting played right at this very moment…

They think their spouse is at work…lol thats what she told you. LOL j/k.

@ Melo & Blog. Lets have some truth…So whats the biggest mistake you made, thing that happened to you, or simpish thing you have ever done?

I wonder who will be honest?

Melo

December 14th, 2009
2:39 pm

That (re – 2:07) ain’t a rotation, that’s life homie.

naw,thats undercover,”dignified” rotation.

If u 37 and up,let alone 40 and u still kind find one girl,not 2,just one that u can date for 2 years at least..u like to rotate!
U a rolling stone.

Melo

December 14th, 2009
2:39 pm

cant find! (angst)

SexyCool - looCyxeS

December 14th, 2009
2:41 pm

Trying to believe Shthead when he said he wasn’t cheating on me.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 14th, 2009
2:44 pm

Melo

December 14th, 2009
2:46 pm

So whats the biggest mistake you made, thing that happened to you, or simpish thing you have ever done?

I will tell u..

me,it was geting married first time…I became a victim of peer and societal pressure.

Never do that!
At 27,u young,…..phluck as much as u want,lick that cootie,smash on it,kick it,do everything u can possibly do and do three some 2 if u neva done it…just be safe but dont be shy…

Thing is,u get tired of it and it will get outta ur system at some point..

dont worry about Jesus and God coz hes a kind and forgiving God..

Pudsy will make u full and feel kinda cheap at some point..when u get to that point..find one starter,u be good by then!

The smell of good cootie is all the same… :lol:

U wont know this, unless u have phlucked a cpple! :lol:

Lord Velonese

December 14th, 2009
2:48 pm

I wonder who is going to read between my lines today?

The "preaching" Professor

December 14th, 2009
2:54 pm

M (dot) Yes he comes out and tell all of his business. That mess was funny to me about 10-15 years ago he would pop his fingers and move all around looking like a drunken chicken that was having a seizure. However it is no longer funny to me to watch this old man with all of these ailments of fixed income spending his maintenance medication money on “Extend” and playing these women. He will be at the dessert table rambling on.

Scool Is new dude your first relationship since feces head? If so how difficult has it been to open up and trust again? If you don’t mind sharing

The "preaching" Professor

December 14th, 2009
2:56 pm

:shock: I am sitting her in :shock: after reading that 2:46 let me read it again to make sure it is real…LMAO

The "preaching" Professor

December 14th, 2009
3:00 pm

So whats the biggest mistake you made, thing that happened to you, or simpish thing you have ever done?

I stayed in a relationship long after that mess was over…I stayed when I should have been gone. The best thing I did was to….ohhhh I cannot say that but I had to put my foot down so that he would stop calling because I was done and I did not want to be dragged back into something that was not working.

Dan

December 14th, 2009
3:00 pm

@Melo

Gotta disagree again. ‘Cootie’ isn’t the problem, it’s how you chase it that makes you feel cheap.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 14th, 2009
3:04 pm

Theme Song #2 – Mind Sex – Dead Prez..

SexyCool - looCyxeS

December 14th, 2009
3:04 pm

Prof – I have done my share of dating in the past year. However, this is the first that has really gone to that next level. And as strong as I like to think I am, I allowed myself to be wounded quite deeply and in ways, the scars are still rather freshly healed, if even totally healed at all.

And while all this feels like sunshine, a certain shade of terror lurks just inside the shadows.

Melo

December 14th, 2009
3:06 pm

@Dan ,u wont neva get cheap coz u chased a girl a ceratin way…

u certainly feel cheap when u in rotation for an extended and endless time and the cootie aint giving u no tangible satisfaction.

U wont realise that till u realize it.

Thats when u decide to seek smething deeper,not just endless cootie.

Boy stop! coz ur experience level is kinda green! :lol:

M. (pronouced M do)

December 14th, 2009
3:08 pm

@Melo

Thanks for being honest. I commend you for keeping it real. Its funny that you mentioned marriage because I am to the point where all my friends are in SUPER serious relationships, engaged, or about to get married. I am not trying to follow suit like that. If I find someone, cool, but like you said, I dont want to succumb to societal pressure and like I said, I need a STARTER.

I was seeing a girl who was trying to preessure me into a relationship and I generally was not ready so I stood my groud.

Also the most sucker thing to happen to me…

I went out with a woman who claimed she was single. We go out, eat, have a good time, the night is flowing, so next we go to hear live music etc. We at the bar chilling and suddenly she goes…OH NO…THERE GOES MY EX!!! And starts trying to hide! Im like what is up with this…

Next the guy comes OVER to where we are…introduces himself like its all good….I was like wow…next hopped in the car and was ready to roll….never spoke in the car….I felt disgusted with her…LOL women can be real slick at times…lol She knew he was going to be there.

Raqi

December 14th, 2009
3:09 pm

Men folk, give me some gift ideas please.

The "preaching" Professor

December 14th, 2009
3:11 pm

Thanks for sharing SCool that is how I felt after a long relationship. However I can remember getting back out there only to retreat again because I just didn’t feel right.

Melo

December 14th, 2009
3:15 pm

M. (pronouced M do)

dont get mad at her coz thats how it is out there….

now if i were u, i wld simply take a mental note,tell her u going to get drinks,move to to to th other side of the bar and come back when they done talking with dude..

but take her home,smash and kiss good bye….
U need some of those for ur pudsy/wang meter and experience,but her game is lame and off, so charge her to the game.

2CPTG......heavily guarded heart!

December 14th, 2009
3:18 pm

Afternoon y’all……been lurkin and peepin’,

but ummm, this right here, is some real shyt!!!!
“u certainly feel cheap when u in rotation for an extended and endless time and the cootie aint giving u no tangible satisfaction.

U wont realise that till u realize it.

Thats when u decide to seek smething deeper,not just endless cootie.”

only a true play a can attest to that! after awhile the endless rotations even become a bore……

Leggs - Danced Hard and Long and is now paying for it!

December 14th, 2009
3:18 pm

@M. ~ “We at the bar chilling and suddenly she goes…OH NO…THERE GOES MY EX!!!” Whenever I hear things like this I think of my ex. We are walking in the mall with lil leggs and he spots his ex walking toward us. Do you know what this fool did. He ran in the nearest store and left us standing there. I had no idea who he was talking about because I never met her, but how cowardice can a man be that he can’t even have his ex walk up in a public mall and not run and shyt on himself. I’m looking left and right not know WTH just went down. He finally tells me he hasn’t told her he’s remarried because he ows money for a car they bought together but when he left NY he left her with the payments. He said he didn’t even know she was in Georgia.

Most know my story, so I didn’t want to keep harping, but mine was staying entirely too long.

Dan

December 14th, 2009
3:19 pm

@Melo

Are you calling me green? Really?

See, to dignify that would mean exposing my hubris and the final vestiages of my younger self, because part of me wants to explain to you just who I is.

But, I’m trying to be more adult these days, so I’ll just say that those that have seen me, and those that have seen you would likely describe the situation much differently.

To the other point, it is the chase that makes you feel dirty. Whether method or time in the game, you and I both agree that at some point the ‘game’ isn’t that fun anymore.

2CPTG......my gift is me!

December 14th, 2009
3:19 pm

damn, forgot to change my phrase for today…..how’s this….

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 14th, 2009
3:20 pm

@Melo

Oh Im not tripping. That was like 3 years ago almost when I first got to Atlanta.

I should have just left her there. Would that be wrong? I mean let your ex take you home.

Has any of you on the blog ever left a date and just bounced?

SexyCool - looCyxeS

December 14th, 2009
3:21 pm

Right now, I am working to make myself stop wondering if I am seeing Shthead’s tendencies in any of TheDude’s actions.

It’s unwarranted and not fair to TheDude, but still, a bit easier said than done.

Dan

December 14th, 2009
3:25 pm

That 3:21 is why I like Ms. SexyCool.

Good isht, kid; good isht.

Melo

December 14th, 2009
3:26 pm

To the other point, it is the chase that makes you feel dirty.

@DAN,if u calling “hunt and kill” as “chase” then we agree..but if u saying “chase” as in the game of it ot the wooing part,then i disagree….

im not sure how old u are so i wld really know if u still chasing or what….

u dont have a girlfriend to speak of,so u proly still on the hunt,kill,and rotate kinda of gmae,meaning u still hungry and not feeling cheap yet…..

If u experienced with, one girlfriend,then u kinda tired of the chase and kill, u want to havae a deeper relationship with one….

Just tell me how many women u slept with this one whole year,if u dont mind, that way i can gauge ur progression..young like M(dot),in rotation or settled??

(hopefully no crickets this time) :lol:

I like tit tay milk

December 14th, 2009
3:28 pm

@sc….We hold on to the past because we fear the future

Therefore in my view when the courtier wishes to declare
his love he should do so by his actions rather than by
speech, for a man’s feelings are sometimes more clearly re¬
vealed by . . . a gesture of respect or a certain shyness than
by volumes of words.
—BALDASSARE CASTIGLIONE

if his actions are matching up to what you believe love is to you..go with it

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 14th, 2009
3:28 pm

@Leggs – Danced Hard and Long and is now paying for it!

LOL DANG! That’s how I felt like what am I missing? She was like trying to hide and then play it off.

The worst part of it all was that I bet she was still dealing with this guy and he obviously moved on…

Grace

December 14th, 2009
3:29 pm

Call Girl Linked to Ex-N.Y. Gov. Eliot Spitzer Writes N.Y. Post S3x Column – this should be very interesting!

Melo

December 14th, 2009
3:29 pm

me he hasn’t told her he’s remarried because he ows money for a car they bought together but when he left NY he left her with the payments

funny Leggs LMAO!!! :lol:

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 14th, 2009
3:32 pm

She smiles, I smile
She walks, no she glides softly by me changing night into day
She opens her mouth to speak, and so sounds ring in my head
She speaks, and i want to dance to her rhythm
She moves ever so gently, increasing my desires,
As i place my arms around her waist,
Hold and squeeze unto me,
I want to melt into her body, and discover the base of her warmth
Her beautiful black body that, no human mind could ever conceive
She’s love
She’s truth
She’s real, as real as the stars that shine in the heavens
As real as the sun that bathes her body,
As real as the moon that glows and the birds that sing and the rose
That blossoms in spring for she is that rose
And not just any rose,
But a black rose,
Black rose stands tall and stronger than any other plant
A black rose, that stands as creator, of nations of
Black rose
That never loses her petals, and blossoms all year round
Black rose,
Sweet rose,
Thornless rose
Eternal rose
Please look my way,
Please look my way
Please look my way
Black rose

SexyCool - looCyxeS

December 14th, 2009
3:32 pm

Hey, Rell – ~lmao~

Dan

December 14th, 2009
3:33 pm

@Melo

Given some of your past statements regarding the anatomy of other males (and my aforementioned privacy concerns): I respectfully decline your request.

But to say that I haven’t had a deeper connection is false. I’ve had it, lost it, and like others I haven’t been eager to go down that road again.

And as I step back out, I venture with a better knowledge of self; including what I want in the person I’ll spend my life with.

Leggs -U C the F and F went out the window, but still F!

December 14th, 2009
3:35 pm

@M. ~ Just shady. We were already married, but I knew nothing about cosigning on a car. After a while I started receiving phone calls asking if I would help repay this loan. After the 3rd phone call in no uncertain terms it was their last call ever made to ME.

@Melo ~ nothing funny there…simply childish and inexcusable!

DreamsMaterialize

December 14th, 2009
3:38 pm

Hey Blog Crew. Hope everyone is well.

People have a tendency to ADD difficulty to things that should be easy. Holidays aren’t difficult. If I didn’t take you to meet my family the day before Thanksgiving, then you’re probably not going on Thanksgiving. If I didn’t give you a gift before Christmas, don’t hold your breath for one on Christmas. The holidays are like all the other days…our relationship will be on the holidays what it was all the days leading up to it.

Melo

December 14th, 2009
3:39 pm

Given some of your past statements regarding the anatomy of other males

I wld think that wld be a good opportunity to fend me off if i wanted to phluck u (coz im gay?) coz u have a girlfriend or girlfriends and dont do males??

But NO,im gay(accrding to u) but U dont have a girlfriend nor girlfreinds to prove that u str8 and have phlucked a girl this year??

Now who is gay?????? :lol:

LOGIC?????

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 14th, 2009
3:40 pm

Hey guys knock off the Gay comments cause Im a Lesbian and Im taking offense to your commentary..

The "preaching" Professor

December 14th, 2009
3:41 pm

Has any of you on the blog ever left a date and just bounced?

Yup

SCool you and TheDude has been kicking it for like 3 or 4 months now so that is enough time to see patterns. When I say patterns I am talking about in you and him. I PMS so I know if things go wrong during that time 9.7/10 it is ME. Look at things both ways, but I feel you girl it is hard.

Dan

December 14th, 2009
3:41 pm

Dude, I’m not blog fighting with you.

I’m just saying:

1) you’ve made some suspect statement in the past and;

2) I’mma grown man, I don’t need you to tell me where I’m at in my life.

To prove what to who?

Man please.

DreamsMaterialize

December 14th, 2009
3:42 pm

@BK
That Dead Prez is tight. Cats sleep on them.