Single-ish During the Holidays
If you have a current person of interest things can get tricky. Holidays has this weird double-edged sword effect. From the awkward gift exchanges, to meeting friends and family,to accompanying each other to parties – it can accelerate a good thing, or hit the brakes on a bad one.
If you have only just started seeing each other, expectations during the holiday should be kept in perspective. I think it is a good idea to use the extra time you have together to do fun activities that allow you to showcase your personalities.
Instead of conforming to the idea of being a “couple during the holidays” why not seize the opportunity to be relaxed and silly. No expectations or obligations.
If you don’t get to spend a lot of time with the your new person of interest, don’t count it all bad. They may have had prior social obligations or trips already scheduled. It doesn’t mean they are not interested.
What are you planning for the holidays? Will you be going to a lot of events solo or do you plan to take someone you are spending time with now?
What will you do about gift exchange? Do you plan to bring it up? Ignore it altogether? Would you be uncomfortable giving gifts to someone you just started dating?
If you have only just met, but you are really enjoying the person’s company, what kind of gift would be appropriate?
Are you single or single-ish for the holidays?
Happy Monday!
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255 comments Add your comment
Dan
December 14th, 2009
11:18 am
@Leggs
My point exactly.
Folks be tryin to act like the holidays don’t raise expectations….
Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 10 days til my birthday :-)
December 14th, 2009
11:19 am
What kinda meat you like on your fresh baked bread??
My answer would probably read like your 10:56 except for the “no filler”(I chuckled a little reading it) part….not b/c I don’t know what you mean by that b/c I do, but I want to definitely “feel full” if you get my drift.
SlimOne...??
December 14th, 2009
11:20 am
@Mdot LOL@ your skit. This situation is sort of difficult to acertain being that we’ve been together off and on for a very long time. My hope would be that no matter what, we could still maintain a friendship, even if it isn’t a romantic one. Sure it’ll be hard to draw that line after being together so long, but time, I surely wish would allow us to redefine our existence in a cordial yet loving way.
Do i love him…yep. Does he love me…yep. He doesn’t seem to see anything wrong or lacking whereas I do. I asked him (being the crazy silly person I am) if we should just pick things back up after Football season. 
@Infamous “Grade A Black Angus Beef.. No by products.. No Fillers.. No Presevatives.. No artificial flavors.. Excellent source of Protein.”
I sure feel hungry all of a sudden.
I like quality meat on my bread…not that Chi-nee meat either…..you know the kind….it looks good, get’s you all excited but you get full too fast then find yourself still feeling empty & just as hungry as you were when started out —> no msg! 
(Congrats on the dealerblock sale)
JtJ
December 14th, 2009
11:21 am
Good Morning!!
Dating & Holidays always seem to clash for some odd reason. I think its because people always assume if a person is willing to travel/visit your family during the holiday season, then they must mean a lot to you. I have dated before and have been stood up just for a holiday dinner because the guy felt he wasn’t ready to meet my family.
@ Leggs—Why are your leggs hurting???Did you go out dancing, too?
SlimOne...??
December 14th, 2009
11:22 am
LMAO @ Prof “Dream it is obvious that Dan is single. Girl Stop! A man that is “cutting” does not engage in these conversations for this length of time!”
I think I’ll stand behind this bar…don’t wanna get hit with any blog ammo anytime soon. I suggest all others take cover. LOL!
Melo
December 14th, 2009
11:23 am
Hey Proff!
I wonder if some single pple feel pressured to invite some “friend” to tag along to a company party etc just so they can potray an impression of being coupled up??
well,if u been single year after year after year and u have never broght anybody to the company Xmas party, i get the point.
coz I dont understand how a holiday wld bring pressure to a single person,a married or single but coupled up couple.
Married with kids,maybe coz at least they(kids) expect some presents etc..
boooy..!
I miss the point!
Grace
December 14th, 2009
11:23 am
It seems that a lot want mind readers aroun this time of year.- Leggs on point!
SlimOne...??
December 14th, 2009
11:25 am
@Sassy “I want to definitely “feel full” if you get my drift”
Ha ha ha ha…guuuurrrrl, you got me cracking up over here. I ain’t mad at cha tho
Leggs - Hope to feel better 2morrow?
December 14th, 2009
11:30 am
@JtJ ~ Yes, went dancing. Had a great time.
Personally, I have one expectation this holiday season…..to see lil leggs smiling and jumping up and down doing the Running Man (or something like that) cuz she got what she wanted. Whoop, whoop!
Beautiful
December 14th, 2009
11:39 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJzm1_5pBXc
Luther Vandross
Happy Holiday bloggers!
I am whatever you say I am
December 14th, 2009
11:41 am
I’m single for the holidays and it sucks.
Beautiful
December 14th, 2009
11:47 am
@Whatever
cheer up sweetie. look at all the options we have to choose from. i’m having a good time right now. and i’m not even giving away the booty.
get yourself dolled up and get involved in the festivities for the holidays. it’s a lot of fun and you’ll meet tons of single available men!
good luck.
Leggs - Hope to feel better 2morrow?
December 14th, 2009
11:49 am
It doesn’t have to suck. People get all caught up in the hype of having someone on their arms that they miss the genuine pleasure of being, of being alive, of volunteering, smiling at the children, being w/friends and family and just simply being thankful for what you have. Hell, having a mate shouldn’t define who you are nor should it make you feel less than “whole.” To be honest, all the angst one experiences during the holidays is mostly self-induced!
Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach
December 14th, 2009
11:54 am
To be honest, all the angst one experiences during the holidays is mostly self-induced!
Where’s Prof to say it in the Southern Preacher man’s voice..LMAO.
I can totally understand if you are going through a hard break-up around these times or if you’ve been with your mate for a long time and this is the first holiday w/out them or if they passed away and you are dealing with grief at this time. Totally understandable situations.
In my case, I’m single,sexy,free and loving every minute of it
Like Leggs, I’m more concerned about showering the lil one with gifts for being mommy’s pump’kin!!!
Beautiful
December 14th, 2009
11:55 am
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=136295177149&ref=share
this link may not work. but if you want a laugh, here you go!
JtJ
December 14th, 2009
11:57 am
@ Leggs….I did too, I went to Taboo 2 Sat. night and it was packed!!! I celebrated my belated birthday along with my cousin an my sister’s friend who are both Sags!!! My fiance treated us to some reserved tables and a bottle! We had a blast!
@ Melo….my sister is single and she goes to her company party every year and enjoys her self alone! I think people just put too much into trying to impress or put up a front. Then there are those who bring a different person to the Christmas party every year and are even more embarrassed when people notice it.
I am whatever you say I am
December 14th, 2009
11:58 am
@Beautiful. I have everything I ever wanted in life except a husband.
I volunteer, when my son’s goes to his dad’s I go out and do things for myself, I surround myself around positive happy people.
If I had one wish I had a husband
Dan
December 14th, 2009
12:03 pm
@JtJ/Melo
There’s also the politics of being single.
A single person is considered (though never verbalized) to be a high risk/ high reward promotion for management. High reward in that they can work longer hours with no ties; and high risk as they can leave the company – again becuase of no ties.
Melo
December 14th, 2009
12:04 pm
I think people just put too much into trying to impress or put up a front
@JtJ
I think u right!
Im not getting this need to convene a summit or summits) be4 going out to a party or parties with “friends” thang….
just so there is no holiday expectation etc. LMAOF!! 
Oh boy,i been outa the lop for a damn long time…
Dating has become so mind game hoopla,techno/green..u name it and stuff that i cant even keep up!
Melo
December 14th, 2009
12:06 pm
@Dan
so that brings pressure when company Xmas party comes along tnat u have to take a friend there to be seen as coupled up??
Dont they know already from ur HR records??
SexyCool - looCyxeS
December 14th, 2009
12:06 pm
Two Word Week – Think rich.
Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach
December 14th, 2009
12:11 pm
I need a joke stat!!!!
Beautiful
December 14th, 2009
12:12 pm
@Whatever
it’ll come. in due time. trust me. when you’re busy and preoccupied, that’s when they seem to find you.
i found out from an old friend that her brother in law, a guy from my past Jon, has been looking for me. when we met years ago, he was married. i told him in so many words to look me up if the divorce he’s been talking about ever happens.
bingo!
we’re really good friends right now.
patience.
Dan
December 14th, 2009
12:12 pm
@Melo
Naw, there is no pressure during the holiday party (or any other time of year) it’s just ‘noticed’. As for HR, they only know what you tell them. People get married and be long gone from a gig before an HR dept knows anything about it.
Leggs - Hope to feel better 2morrow?
December 14th, 2009
12:13 pm
@Dream_n ~ if there’s been a breakup, or a death in the family that make any of the holiday hard to deal with I can understand. But to be crying, woe is me simply because a mate isn’t in the picture is not grounds to be miserable. I never understood this. The commercialism that one needs to be “booed” up for the holidays, and or that matter Valentine’s Day, is just that…commercialism and many are suckered into feeling bad if they’re alone because they see so many others in love. Remember, those happy faces you see in the street may not be all that happy behind closed doors. Never envy what another has because you have no idea what they had to do to get to where they are!
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD
December 14th, 2009
12:18 pm
Sassy & Slim – This meat fills you up for days.. It takes a little while to thru your your system.. On top of it all this meat is Kosher.. It has been given many blessing and thanks…
Beautiful
December 14th, 2009
12:21 pm
reality is that some people do feel the void when single. i do. i feel incomplete. but only you and i know this. nothing falls by the waste side just because i don’t have a man. my family is not affected at all.
it would be nice to be in a loving relationship anytime of the year, not just holiday time. sharing my life with another is priceless to me.
Melo
December 14th, 2009
12:23 pm
sharing my life with another is priceless to me.
how about ur kids??
The "preaching" Professor
December 14th, 2009
12:23 pm
Well…lets all I see ya’ll out there worried ‘bout the Holidays…yea…worried ‘bout not having someone warm in dat bed….worried ‘bout who gon take ya to the Christmas party. Well I am here to tell you that Jesus said he will give you peace…not peace that the world gives you, but real peace. Now if you are having fornicating thoughts ‘bout bedding that wo/man that is NOT what the season is ‘bout…if you are listening to J Holiday and he tells you “imma put you to bed bed bed (singing it and rocking my hips slowly) that is not what the holiday is bout. You need to clear yo mind and fast.
Shouting this time…for my single moms and dads it is not ‘bout how many toys you can buy those kids to break. Nor is it about trying to buy that FUBU or Baby Phat (church whisper Rev they want True Religion and Rock of Republic). Well ya’ll get what I am telling you STOP thinking that Christmas Eve and Christmas day is gon change yo life Saints…stop making the mall and match.com rich buying into this propaganda put on by Hollywood and the retail stores go sit yo behind down and worship! Usher Dream send that plate around again and I want you to get that ruler and hit anyone under 12 that tries to sneak some pennies in it.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 10 days til my birthday :-)
December 14th, 2009
12:24 pm
On top of it all this meat is Kosher.. It has been given many blessing and thanks…
I’m sure it has
Hercules…Hercules…Hercules
Beautiful
December 14th, 2009
12:27 pm
have a blessed day! *waving*
Raqi
December 14th, 2009
12:28 pm
But to be crying, woe is me simply because a mate
You know Leggs thinking back to former days I think the holidays were actually the times when I missed having a mate the least. Maybe it was because I had my kids but I would get so caught in making sure they were happy and doing things with my family and friends I just really didn’t have time to miss being in a relationship. When my mom was alive we would be at my parent’s house every Christmas. We would spend the night there Christmas Eve and spend the whole day Christmas with them. I just didn’t think about it much during that time.
Being with someone during the holidays is was nice but when I wasn’t I didn’t have time to miss it.
The "preaching" Professor
December 14th, 2009
12:28 pm
Melo~
As for me whether I have a man or not I go to the company party by myself. That is just how I roll, but a lot of people sit at work all year and talk this fairytale BS ish and folks want to see how their SO look and get nosey…IMO those are the people that feel the pressure. Me I go and work the room and work the crowd and leave. I know how to do the thing, though.
I’ve never felt lonely just because I did not have a SO…as long as I have my strenghth, health and family I count my blessings and keep it moving
The "preaching" Professor
December 14th, 2009
12:34 pm
Raqi
December 14th, 2009
12:39 pm
I miss my mom the most around Christmas time.
Melo
December 14th, 2009
12:39 pm
holidays is time for fam,parties,friends etc..but fam esp,for me..
If u are single,even better coz thats the time to get around,meet other single folks at parties etc and get the thang going…..
but at least u start some interractions.. which may pan out really well down the road.
U may not sleep with somebody roght away
But then,if u think of winter and holidays and sausage,then, well..u got a diff problem!
The "preaching" Professor
December 14th, 2009
12:42 pm
I agree the Holidays is a time for friends, families and parties like Melo said Now I don’t know about all this sausage talk and starting the interactions talk…
but it is all good
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD
December 14th, 2009
12:48 pm
Prof – Dont be mad.. Imma get me a crimmus date this year from right here on the blog.. We gonna swap spit unda the miseltoe and hopefully she’ll be showing her cameltoe..
The "preaching" Professor
December 14th, 2009
12:50 pm
Now, DK why would I be mad? If you can find you someone here on the blog to do all of that with (it has happened before) I wish you two the best!
I am sending a heartfelt Holly Jolly Crimmus to you and yours!
The "preaching" Professor
December 14th, 2009
12:51 pm
mail call
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD
December 14th, 2009
12:52 pm
Prof – I was talking bout you.. I just wanna feel on ya booty and do donuts in your vette.. Make sure you have that cameltoe on swole for me so I can pinch it..
Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 10 days til my birthday :-)
December 14th, 2009
12:54 pm
I just wanna feel on ya booty and do donuts in your vette.. Make sure you have that cameltoe on swole for me so I can pinch it..
The "preaching" Professor
December 14th, 2009
12:56 pm
THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD
December 14th, 2009
12:57 pm
Sassy – You know gently squeeze em together and have a good look at that there..
M. (pronouced M dot)
December 14th, 2009
12:57 pm
@ Everyone
On the opposite side, how are the males and females here handling the holidays if you are dating and/or have a rotation?
How open are you? How do you handle parties, events, dinners, and gifts? How do you decide who gets what and goes where? Do you face alot of questions from family and friends?
The "preaching" Professor
December 14th, 2009
12:57 pm
BTW~ what is “cameltoe on swole for me so I can pinch it..”????/
Rell - i want some pudding
December 14th, 2009
1:02 pm
On the opposite side, how are the males and females here handling the holidays if you are dating and/or have a rotation?
-if you have bench management skills…this typically takes cares of itself…your rotation will fall in line with your commands…if not they get cut off
How open are you? How do you handle parties, events, dinners, and gifts? How do you decide who gets what and goes where? Do you face alot of questions from family and friends?
- umm dont do any type of company or famliy party…dinners are cool..it can be a gift for a new potential or less than three months of dating..
Dan
December 14th, 2009
1:02 pm
I love how folks call on Jesus to replace of something(someone) else.
@Raqi
I feel the same way about my brother (missing him), so I’m with you on that. Feel better
Melo
December 14th, 2009
1:04 pm
males and females here handling the holidays if you are dating and/or have a rotation?
boy,u funny!
a playa knows how to shuffle their cards..they wont tell u tho….
Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 10 days til my birthday :-)
December 14th, 2009
1:05 pm
You know gently squeeze em together and have a good look at that there..
Stop it I say DK!! You so nasty….but I like it