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Let Your Guard Down

I am not sure if men are always aware of this, but it takes some women time to let our guard down with a man sexually.  A lot of us believe that it is your job to make us not feel self conscious about our bedroom activities.  If a woman can see that you respect her and she can trust you, it allows her to let her guard down.

So what happens when a man doesn’t seem trustworthy? Well, a lot of women take the risk anyway. Sometimes we want it as badly as you do! We may or may not regret that, but that is part of our ongoing dilemma of when/if we decide to sleep with someone.

Ladies, are you ever concerned about maintaining a “good girl” image when it comes to your bedroom behavior? Do you think that you hold back because you worry about a stereotype of some kind?

Guys, do you ever have a problem with getting women to let their guard down with you? Do you make an effort to gain trust from the women you date?  Are you ever slow to let your guard down with a woman in the bedroom?

Happy Friday!

364 comments Add your comment

2CPTG......heavily guarded heart!

December 11th, 2009
8:53 am

mornin’ y’all…

lotta questions, Diva….Do I have a problem with getting ladies to let their guard down? Actually, no…seems like all that I meet say the same thing, “seems like I’ve known you forever.” So, that tells me they feel an immediate sense of comfort in my presence – guess it’s the aura that I give off..and no, it takes me no effort at all; I just be “me.” Am I slow to let my guard down in the bedroom? Why would I be? If we’ve made it that far, what’s to hold back? That one baffles me….you can get some coochie this time, but it’s gon’ take another six months to get some “dome.”!!!!

MsM

December 11th, 2009
8:54 am

Key word… TRUST If I trust my partner the sky’s the limit.

Le Siren- I'm baaaack!

December 11th, 2009
9:01 am

Ladies, are you ever concerned about maintaining a “good girl” image when it comes to your bedroom behavior?

Simply put, no. I am a grown woman and I do not feel the need to be a “good girl” in the bedroom. I am a lady everyday, all day, but I have absolutely NO boundaries with my man when it comes to intimacy.

Professor

December 11th, 2009
9:03 am

May, I just sit here and read, learn and take a few notes?

Good Morning all!

Raqi…He Got into My Head…Then I Got into His Bed

December 11th, 2009
9:04 am

After getting to a point where it takes me a long time to trust people it was nearly impossible to get me to let my guard down. It took getting me to get me.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 11th, 2009
9:07 am

Something is going on with the blog it takes forever to refresh on my computer.. I couldnt get in the mix yesterday afternoon..

On Topic.. No not really I have a slow burn effect goin.. I chill and let them take their own panties off so its no pressure.. I just relax and enjoy the show while they feel free to ride the scream machine with no hands or how however they like..

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 11th, 2009
9:08 am

I mean when we make it to the bedroom I know she aint no virgin so she can come on with it.. Ive been with someone before her and she’s been with someone before me, so theres no shame or judging from me..

Dan

December 11th, 2009
9:12 am

Like to 2C most women I date tend to open up emotionally with little to no problem.

The few that ‘hold back’ physically, are one’s that don’t stay around.

As I’ve stated in prior posts, if I can’t have all of you, I don’t want any. Reciprocity.

Dan

December 11th, 2009
9:14 am

@DK

You know that a woman doesn’t want to be thought of as a ‘freak’ so she’s only going to want to reveal a little in the beginning if she wants something more.

Now when they don’t care about a future, it’s whatever it is.

2CPTG......heavily guarded heart!

December 11th, 2009
9:19 am

Dan, I see what you’re saying; about ladies not wanting to be considered a freak….but that’s nonsense. Naked is naked…ain’t no levels to nakedness….

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 11th, 2009
9:20 am

Dan – Im like Ol boy in love Jones. I want it all right now..

2CPTG......heavily guarded heart!

December 11th, 2009
9:26 am

“Dan – Im like Ol boy in love Jones. I want it all right now”

DK, I’m of the thinking the majority of fellas feel this way……..waiting to hear from these ladies – if we can get naked, why can’t we get freaky?

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 11th, 2009
9:26 am

GM All…..

Ladies, are you ever concerned about maintaining a “good girl” image when it comes to your bedroom behavior? Do you think that you hold back because you worry about a stereotype of some kind?

No & No…

If we’ve gotten to the point where I’m in your bed, then we’ve connected on every other level and we’re in an exclusive relationship. You’ve already tapped into the other aspects of me and I’m comfortable sharing me with you.

So as 2C put it Naked is naked…ain’t no levels to nakedness…

Dan

December 11th, 2009
9:26 am

@2C – she’s likely not to tie herself to you like that, it’s an understandable decision given how some tie the physical to the emotional.

@DK – I don’t drink anything warm; so hot, cold, or I don’t want it.

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 11th, 2009
9:32 am

May, I just sit here and read, learn and take a few notes?

Naw Professor.. not today!!! lol

SexyCool - looCyxeS

December 11th, 2009
9:34 am

Three Words Daily – Above. Beyond. Further.

East Point's Own

December 11th, 2009
9:36 am

Why do some women feel the need to cover up with a sheet when going to the bathroom after getting it on??? I have already seen all you have to offer… And now I am getting cold waiting for you to bring the sheet back to the bed… LoL

http://hispointofview.com

THE INFAMOUS DK aka MR. FRESH BAKED BREAD

December 11th, 2009
9:36 am

Dan – then there is a hppay medium.. Im not gonna take no points off for a little dome but dome while choking, slobbering and gagging with Pornstar flair.. Yeah that might leave me with an impression.. If she’s classy with the freaking it’ll be ok..

Professor

December 11th, 2009
9:36 am

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach!!! Wassup Dream aka GA Peach!

Please let me sit back and read. You all have heard my position as it relates to this topic so I just wanted to lurk for a minute or two…LOL

SexyCool - looCyxeS

December 11th, 2009
9:37 am

If you can’t get to the freak in me, well…it’s not because it’s not there. ~lol~

As I have stated a few times in recent weeks, learning myself and knowing what I want out of life and in a partner has made me a better “chooser.” At this point in my life, I couldn’t imagine choosing someone who I can’t be all of me with.

Do all of the ‘tricks’ come out immediately? No. Regardless of the “Darius Lovehall – I want all mine now.” complex, it is better than the lovemaking be a journey of discovery that opens up like a dew kissed morning glory instead of the show and tell on the first day of school.

mqew

December 11th, 2009
9:42 am

Ladies, are you ever concerned about maintaining a “good girl” image when it comes to your bedroom behavior? <—-Ummmm NO. (To maintain, you'd have to have one in the beginning, which is/was soooo not the case.)

Hold back? Naaa, why? At this point I'm sure he would have simply melted the panties away :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 11th, 2009
9:42 am

@ East Point’s Own
LOL… So we have to freeze walking to the washroom??

2CPTG......heavily guarded heart!

December 11th, 2009
9:43 am

So Sexy, you just gon’ keep that throat spray hidden til the right time? Then when you feel “comfortable” enough, you gon’ whip it out, and be like……”baby, I’ve been waiting on this for a long time…now that we’ve made it, sit back and let mama take you to heaven!”

Hey, Professor...

December 11th, 2009
9:44 am

Just what “position” is it that you like?

Sassy Me...juicy fruit..feeling yummy with 13 days til my birthday :-)

December 11th, 2009
9:45 am

……..waiting to hear from these ladies – if we can get naked, why can’t we get freaky?

BRANG IT!! :mrgreen:

Dan that 9:14 has some truth to it, but I also agree with Siren in that if I’m with my man then we gone throw it down like Maxwell said…Til the cops come knockin’
This could go either way b/c both scenario’s can/have/will happen. Some women will not go “there” immediately with a man they may want a relationship with and then there are those that will ryde him like no tomorrow if he’s Mr. Tonight and not Mr. Right….we’re complex creatures :)

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 11th, 2009
9:46 am

Let me say this intimacy is great, hell it can be grand with the right person.

Letting your guard down comes with time, some women are quick to show all of their tricks and moves while others want to ease into it.

Just like we we were talking about yesterday, its kinda like a conversation…. You don’t want to go to deep to quick, you wanna let it flow~~~~~

Leggs - F and F

December 11th, 2009
9:46 am

“Am I slow to let my guard down in the bedroom? Why would I be? If we’ve made it that far, what’s to hold back?”<—-That's the bottom line. My good girl image in bed took a vacation once I knew what I was doing and how to do it!

I'll be over here in the corner with my fan on high! Carry on! :cool:

Professor

December 11th, 2009
9:48 am

I will say this I always enjoy reading Tazzee as it relates to this topic IMO. I remember her talking about giving herself to someone physically and mentally and the power she is giving that person over her. Although I am not quoting her directly I do believe when it comes down to a serious committed relationship and not some freak show there are certain things that must take place. These things cannot be conqueror in one text, date and phone conversation preceding the freaky deaky.

I never trust anyone that is in a rush. I always think why the sense of urgency???? :???:

Cemeeli

December 11th, 2009
9:48 am

…morning…

Well, alrighty then…Auh, yes i’m unhurried to ‘show and tell’ in the bedroom…it takes time to see all seven wonders of the world…let alone the 8th.

:lol:

Happy Friday!

Melo

December 11th, 2009
9:50 am

Why do some women feel the need to cover up with a sheet when going to the bathroom after getting it on???

these are church women KP…LIKE 2C said,nekked is nekked!

Le Siren hey lady! i like ur freaky bedroom antics babeey!

Dream_n,U on it sweetie…

Now where are my freaky ladies at???

Good morning folks!

Proff..bring it! :lol:

SexyCool - looCyxeS

December 11th, 2009
9:53 am

Toucan – I’m good without the throat spray.

Melo

December 11th, 2009
9:53 am

altho freaky for u ladies,is a double edged sword……!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Cemeeli

December 11th, 2009
9:54 am

p.s. told ya’ll ‘jack frost’ would visit us today!

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 11th, 2009
9:55 am

it takes time to see all seven wonders of the world…let alone the 8th.

“I never trust anyone that is in a rush. I always think why the sense of urgency????”

Yeah Prof…things that make you go hmmm??

Well alrighty then Ms. Cee :wink:

Leggs - F and F

December 11th, 2009
9:58 am

“Am I slow to let my guard down in the bedroom? Why would I be? If we’ve made it that far, what’s to hold back?”<—–That is the truth.

Ladies, are you ever concerned about maintaining a “good girl” image when it comes to your bedroom behavior? Not at all. I’m glad the freak in me killed the “good girl” image many moons ago!

I’ll be sitting here in the corner with my fan on High! Carry on! :cool:

mqew1

December 11th, 2009
9:59 am

Morning

Blog ate my first post, but it was something like -
if we are to the point where the drawers has melted away, like when you try to recall the evening, you have no idea how they got off, it’s on :lol: :lol:

Although I understand the blog ladies saying the entire freak doesn’t come out the first day.

That make sense… A woman’s crazy takes time to come out, so why not the freak as well :lol:

Like the crazy will match the freak :lol: :lol: :lol:

Luvbug

December 11th, 2009
10:02 am

Don’t think trust factored into my initial decision…maybe something similar to but not exactly that. I didn’t sleep with the first guy I loved. We were not compatible in that way (area). I even tried it out later in life – still nothing (numb). The first guy I had sex with, I had no love for (I don’t think he loved me either), but we hit it off in that way…I don’t know why. This was college. I never cared who he was sleeping with. I assumed he dated other people. I dated other people and I only slept with him. It was a pretty comfortable situation for me (even several years after college). I could spend my whole life with him or spend none of it with him and still feel okay with us. I’ve only had a few (roughly 1 3/4) random exertions since, but nothing that comfortable.

Actually, I’ve been getting by. Even with him, I didn’t go as far as I could have…maybe the trust thing is suppressed in my not going that far…just far enough. I guess I’m saving all the good stuff for the right guy (or time). Don’t want to waste my good memories in that area on some guy I don’t plan to keep (or who don’t plan to keep me). I’ve been known to once over a situation with a guy and think to myself, “You can have this much- but not THIS much”…”I’ll do this – but NOT THAT with you”.

Tragic – I know.

mqew1

December 11th, 2009
10:04 am

Oh, and to maintain a Good Girl image in the bedroom, you’d have to have one outside of the bedroom. Soooo, that’s not a problem for me.

I’ve never had a Good Girl image :wink:

Professor

December 11th, 2009
10:05 am

I think there is a consensus for the most part among the blog ladies that they do not mind giving their all they just don’t want to feel rushed or pressured. When it gets down to it guards are there for a reason. Guards are a security defense to help prevent harm, to keep one safe and prevent intrusion. So if a man is really game sincere he will let her know that he is not an intruder or foe, but a friend and a protector, which is willing and able to serve as her protector, and he is not there to do any harm. However if he is rushing like a thief in the night her guard is going to be on high alert. IMO.

Cemeeli

December 11th, 2009
10:10 am

Dreamn – Now lil chica when you go out don’t use that…real women don’t us pick up lines…we just chill.

Dan

December 11th, 2009
10:11 am

Yeah, wanting it all now can be a bit much, but I make no apologies for it. There’s are (more than few) women out there that have no problem giving it to me.

Engendering trust, is a process. Something that from [this] guy’s perspective is a job you have to sign up for. And I like to read every contract I sign my name to anyway, so I’m cautious.

SexyCool - looCyxeS

December 11th, 2009
10:18 am

If I give it all to you right up front, you’re just going to get bored with the sameness of it all sooner. By letting there be a process of discovery, it helps to maintain some freshness and creativity in the bedroom.

It would me like me cooking for you and the first meal that I make for you, I give all the dishes that I am really, really good at. Then the next time, I boil some hot dogs and slap em on some plain white bread. No, I am going to present you with a delight each time I feed you and when I have to start repeating meals, I am going to try to make it better than it was the first time I served you.

But, that’s just how I see it.

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 11th, 2009
10:19 am

@ Professor, I agree with that 10:05 :wink:

Professor

December 11th, 2009
10:22 am

Dream~ that is just the way I see it.

I will not eat a hotdog or turkey burger without a bun…that is one of my quirks

Dan

December 11th, 2009
10:22 am

@SC

I concede your and the Professor’s point. It’s an accepted fact (at least here) that some men and some women are on different schedule’s with love, sex and intimacy.

The job is to find someone compatible with your timeline and roll with that person(s).

That’s why I like this forum, to acknowledge that there are differences in the sexes.

Dream_n~ Honorary GA Peach

December 11th, 2009
10:22 am

Yeah, wanting it all now can be a bit much, but I make no apologies for it.

And I like to read every contract I sign my name to anyway, so I’m cautious.

Okay, I may be reading you wrong, but You want it all from a woman, but it’s okay for you to play it cool and be cautious???

mqew

December 11th, 2009
10:23 am

Ceemee – the 8th wonder… I LUV IT!!! :lol:

2CPTG......heavily guarded heart!

December 11th, 2009
10:27 am

mqew1…..you seem to get it! If you gon’ play the “role,” and that’s just what it is, then follow through with it….for the life of me, please help me understand the concept of “giving my all.” Methinks, once you give up the nanny, which should be your most precious commodity, then what are the drawbacks to “other” stuff? Hell, with somma y’all line of thinking, appears that giving up the nanny would be the last thing you do, not the first! I could even understand a female saying, we can have oral sex, but intercourse gon’ have to wait…..

Raqi…He Got into My Head…Then I Got into His Bed

December 11th, 2009
10:33 am

I could even understand a female saying, we can have oral sex, but intercourse gon’ have to wait…

2CPTG, that could be because a lot of guys give women the notion that they value oral more than nature’s intended. Just reading this blog most days alone will give any woman that idea.

Nature’s intended is where the connection happens and is the most intimate for me. Sexual compatibility is very important. Me and mine are matched pretty well.

Luvbug

December 11th, 2009
10:35 am

Methinks, once you give up the nanny, which should be your most precious commodity

I don’t consider my nanny my most precious commodity…more my spirit and love. I guess I see my nanny as my house – not my home.