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Tone down your sexy

It is really interesting how things shift once you get into a serious relationship.  The very thing that has drawn you to someone, suddenly is a big problem. Perhaps the best example of this is when a man meets a really sexy woman and once she becomes his, he isn’t comfortable with her displaying her beauty as much.

Raqi sent me an interesting article that mentioned singer Shakira and her boyfriend.  Apparently, Shakira’s man saw a recent video of her dancing in a cage in a neutral colored bodysuit.  He made a remark about how she needed to “put some clothes on” and tone it down a bit. I’m assuming that when he met her, she was no wallflower. This is the “hips don’t lie” girl, right?

Raqi wrote: “We know that men are very visual when it comes to their attraction to women.  It’s what they see that initially attracts them.  So what happens after you two have formed a relationship and he tells you that he now wants you to dress less sexy? It’s now a matter of “For his eyes only”.  Does a “boyfriend” have that right? ”

I am not sure what I would think if a man wanted me to dial it down a bit for his personal taste.  I believe I would wonder what made him so insecure about how I carry myself. If that was a real issue, then why would he be with me in the first place?

Why do you think we are drawn to people for certain things and then when we get in a relationship, our perspective changes on these same things?

Guys, if you date someone who dresses “provocatively” would you want them to take their sexy down once they are in a relationship with you?

Ladies, have you ever had a man tell you that he was uncomfortable with the way you dressed or carried yourself?

Happy Wednesday!

447 comments Add your comment

Professor

December 9th, 2009
8:42 am

czBrat

December 9th, 2009
8:43 am

GM All!

i think that scenario is actually quite common. my experience, though, has been the opposite. dudes have asked me to “turn it up a bit” once we’re involved. they seem to want that sex appeal projected more openly for all the world to see. i’m not one to close my mind completely to change, but i will always stay within my comfort zone.

Professor

December 9th, 2009
8:47 am

Hmmmm considering the fact that I dress very nice and I am not “out there,” and I do have good looks I will lurk, because I don’t have this problem. And, the men I date are great…these brother are secure, accomplished and they have it together so they are not sitting around picking their cuticles worried about what outward appearance look like.

Grace

December 9th, 2009
8:51 am

Good morning!

If you’re sexy, you’re going to be sexy regardless of what you’re wearing ~ from the love of my life

I’m not one to dress inappropriately when I step out of my house, what’s that saying “be classy and not show all your a$$y”.

Lady J

December 9th, 2009
9:00 am

Sade’s new song is the truth!!!! The lyrics say everything!!!! Soldier of Love!!!!!!!!

Dan

December 9th, 2009
9:01 am

First, Happy Birthday to SexyLeggs!

Second, asking your girl to “tone down” or change anything about herself after you start dating is a sign of insecurity.

Modesty has it’s place, to be sure, but getting with the D does not preclude your sexy. Matter of fact, it’s likely to get you closer to a better encounter sooner.

@Brat – let that sexy loose, gal. Nothing worse than feeling a difference in how someone behaves and how they are.

D out

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray/With 18 more days til my Bday

December 9th, 2009
9:05 am

Tone down my sexy! ha!

This is a natural thing, so toneing (sp?) down is impossible… :lol:

As far as attire goes, I’m not out there. I definately keep it classy but even my sutle wear exudes sexiness sometimes. I’m a sexy person! Don’t blame me blame the genes!

My ex liked the way I dressed, so never had a problem with the guy complaning…

Morning Professor, Cbratz, Grace!!!

Grace

December 9th, 2009
9:10 am

waving @Dreams

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray/With 18 more days til my Bday

December 9th, 2009
9:14 am

@ Lady J

I heard the song too, I am waiting in anticipation fr the CD to come out. Her voice is amazing…

Cemeeli

December 9th, 2009
9:16 am

Morning…

It is possible to be a lady and sexy…but if you don’t have the lady part down then….

Perhaps the best example of this is when a man meets a really sexy woman and once she becomes his, he isn’t comfortable with her displaying her beauty as much.

hmmm…I hear “Spotlight” ringing in my head.

Cemeeli

December 9th, 2009
9:17 am

Lady J – Get outta my collection girl!…i’m buying that one…actually i need to get the single right now!

mytw♥cents - mytw♥tatas - d♥scentavos - Fallen Angel - Albino Tigress

December 9th, 2009
9:20 am

Well this is the wrong day to Tone Down Your SEXXY LEGGS! Have a Happy Hump Day Birthday… and remember to ‘forget’ ya umbrella ;)

I don’t think it’s necessarily a fair expectation that s/he will change attire and outward appearances. However, if I were overtly sexy all the time, it would probably cross my mind to tone it down a bit so that the times I do vamp it up seem especially for him. He wouldn’t have to ask me.

Been missin my buddies @ the blog bar…and especially My MELO. How you doing without your beloved shiny darky monitoring your behavior?

Lady J

December 9th, 2009
9:20 am

Dream_n and Cee Feb can’t get here soon enough!!!!!! I can’t wait!!!! It will bump my Maxwell to the left….yeah I am still blasting Bad Habit by Maxwell!!!!! LOL

Lady J

December 9th, 2009
9:21 am

Happy Birthday Ms Wise Sexxy Leggs!!!! I enjoy your timely quotes on the blog day in and out!!!!:)

mytw♥cents - mytw♥tatas - d♥scentavos - Fallen Angel - Albino Tigress

December 9th, 2009
9:22 am

ANGIE Hope life is as beautiful as can be. You dip in when I dip out… but wishin’ you & the boys a Happy Holiday season.

Cemeeli

December 9th, 2009
9:23 am

Happy Birthday tooo you Ms. Leggs!

Hey Tigress! been missin ya girl…

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray/With 18 more days til my Bday

December 9th, 2009
9:25 am

HAPPY BDAY MS. LEGGS!

I hope you enjoy this day!

Grace

December 9th, 2009
9:29 am

Happy Birthday Leggs!

MsM

December 9th, 2009
9:36 am

Left work to meet a guy for lunch, he was very complimentary of my dress . Fast forward a few months… I put on the same damm dress and he fixed his mouth to say “I know you’re not wearing that” mind you I was wearing it to work again. That was the last time I saw him.

Believe me my work attire is cool.. not all breastes hanging out or too tight/short. I’d peeked other signs of controlling behavior, and I was so out.

Cemeeli

December 9th, 2009
9:37 am

@ Grace…i didn’t forget today.

Fish and grits ready and hot for you maam. :)

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 9th, 2009
9:40 am

“Guys, if you date someone who dresses “provocatively” would you want them to take their sexy down once they are in a relationship with you?”

I think guy’s would have to make sure not to get into a situation like this in the first place. How she starts is how she ends. It has to be a balance. No a guy does not want a nun but also he doesn’t want diamond from players club either…

That provocative dressing thing is usually for women who crave attention. They may not admit it but they get a rush knowing you are sweating them, other guys are sweating them, and other females will be discussing them in some capacity. I have seen women get their attractive point across without putting all the goods on display. You can achieve this without putting everything out there. I like a conservative look, throw a cardigan on and still get your point across opposed to the cat suit…lol

I heard a great quote last week that is perfect for this post….

“Only dogs chase exposed meat”…..now let that marinate!

Melo

December 9th, 2009
9:42 am

Guys, of you date someone who dresses “provocatively” would you want them to take their sexy down once they are in a relationship with you?

There is a difference between being dressed sexxy and classy and dressed provocatively.
I wld not date a woman that dresses provocatively coz if i date her, i want to be able to walk and spend time with her without worrying about the gwaking eyes.

However,sexxing her is another matter,yes, i cld sexx her but neva be out there with her in public.For the record, i wld neva take 2/3 steps out there in public with Pamella Anderson,hence my thinking there if u dont understand! :lol:

I will date a woman that dresses nice,sexxy and classy but not provocatively..no way…

Happy birthday Sexxy..where is the party at this year?

Morning folks..
hey Mytwo..dark and chocolate ha!!! :lol:

SexyLeggs - Fit and Fabulous @ 51

December 9th, 2009
9:44 am

Good morning everyone.

Thank you all for the b-day wishes.

Toning down one’s sexy. To everyone out there, if you got it you got it. No need to tone it down. Doesn’t the saying state “you need to keep doing what you did in the beginning to get me.” My sexiness, spirit, character, etc. got you to me, so why should I stop simply because you now have me? All that reeks of is INSECURITY. Go sit down!

(Note, leave umbrella at desk :lol: :lol: :lol: )

MsM

December 9th, 2009
9:45 am

I met a guy at a club that told me he was actually 1st attracted to me because I didn’t have everything hanging all out. Nothing popped for me romantically, but hey we like each other and we are friends a year later.

SexyLeggs - Fit and Fabulous @ 51

December 9th, 2009
9:48 am

“Only dogs chase exposed meat”….

Well said!

SexyLeggs - Fit and Fabulous @ 51

December 9th, 2009
9:53 am

@LadyJ ~ Thanks. I especially liked yesterday’s quote. Just look around, everyone has troubles. The grass isn’t greener on the other side anymore! As Biggie said “the more money you have the more problems.” I like the lane I’m in with all its patchy grass spots!

Professor

December 9th, 2009
9:57 am

Happy Birthday Leggs!!!!

Wassup Dream and Mr. Melo!

I agree with all my blog buddies it is difficult to tone down what is God given…I did not create this hot, sexy, mocha, sweet and tender baby doll face and grown and tone body I was given. I just thank my Creator and he really did the thing when he gave me brains to match…whew I need to shout because I am blessed!

czBrat

December 9th, 2009
10:04 am

:lol: @ Professor

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEGGS!!! and HiYa Dream_n.

2CPTG......sexiness is a lifestyle!

December 9th, 2009
10:05 am

mornin’ y’all

Happy Birthday, Leggs…

nah, don’t think you can tone down someone’s sexiness……nor, can you expect them to stop doing what they were doing prior to getting involved with you….

czBrat

December 9th, 2009
10:08 am

got something i wanna share with the blog to get your opinions, kinda on topic for today too. i’ll give the convo a while before i switch it up :)
brb

Grace

December 9th, 2009
10:08 am

Thank you Cee!, now where’s my hot sauce….

Grace

December 9th, 2009
10:09 am

Thank you Cee!, now where’s my hot sauce….

SexyLeggs - Fit and Fabulous @ 51

December 9th, 2009
10:10 am

@Professor, isn’t it wonderful to love yourself! You are funny. Now, I know what you look like (Jessica Rabbit)! :wink:

Outrageously SexyCool

December 9th, 2009
10:15 am

Three Words Daily – Celebrate your sexy!

Lady J

December 9th, 2009
10:15 am

@Outrageously SexyCool I like those Three Words!!!!!:)

Cemeeli

December 9th, 2009
10:16 am

@ Gracie! Omygah what was i thinking!?…lets see, you want koolaid or co-cola with it? :)

Outrageously SexyCool

December 9th, 2009
10:17 am

Um, yeah. My sexy is more in my attitude and personality than it is in the way I dress. In fact, I tend to dress rather casually and comfortably. So, no. I’ve never had anyone ask me to cover up or any of that.

Leggs – When/where is da party?

Grace

December 9th, 2009
10:18 am

@Leggs All that reeks of is INSECURITY and controlling.

Grace

December 9th, 2009
10:21 am

LOL….Dr Peppa please!?! thanks suga!

2CPTG......sexiness is a lifestyle!

December 9th, 2009
10:23 am

“My sexy is more in my attitude and personality than it is in the way I dress.”…….yep! hence my phrase for today, “sexiness is a lifestyle!”

Cemeeli

December 9th, 2009
10:26 am

Ever have someone change their mind ’bout the date…I mean straight 360 after they’d planned the entire night and then have a change of heart after they’ve peeped what you are wearing?…like maybe they were not “dressed” enough…

Lady J

December 9th, 2009
10:27 am

“sexiness is a lifestyle!” @2CPTG……sexiness is a lifestyle! SOOO KOOL BRUH!!!!!:)

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 9th, 2009
10:31 am

Happy Birthday Ms Leggs! Do it up and enjoy yourself! God Bless

On topic: chile please, I have dealt with an insecure man and its not easy. Its WORK in the worst way! I have always dressed well, but since I have ‘junk in my trunk’ some things cant stay hidden no matter what! :wink:

Mawning Ladies!!

Melo

December 9th, 2009
10:35 am

I have ‘junk in my trunk’

Oooooooohh,Shaka Zulu!! :lol:

2CPTG......sexiness is a lifestyle!

December 9th, 2009
10:37 am

Lady J, it very well is……and sexiness isn’t to be confused with physical attributes; as SexyCool, stated, it’s an attitude….I’m sure guys can agree, you have ladies that are pretty, some attractive (fine), and then you have some that just exudes sexiness….the three aren’t mutually exclusive..

lurker

December 9th, 2009
10:38 am

cause he don’t want no one to think he’s playing footies with a skank. can’t turn a skank into a woman, can’t make a ho housewife. ya’ll know the cliches’ she should be honored that her man don’t won’t her displaying her skankiness. ain’t nothing sexy about walking round half nekked. the t & a girl. being skanky don’t require brain cells. plus what do you have that the rest of the women ain’t got? it’s what you ain’t showing that catches the eye.

Outrageously SexyCool

December 9th, 2009
10:38 am

Yeah, Mo – you are really blessed in the junk department. :)

lurker

December 9th, 2009
10:39 am

imma sag

happy burfday leggs

Outrageously SexyCool

December 9th, 2009
10:40 am

Toucan – I miss you, dude. When are you throwing another shindig?

SexyLeggs - Fit and Fabulous @ 51

December 9th, 2009
10:41 am

Ding, ding, ding…sexiness is an attitude, an aura, a vibe!

Going to have a b-day celebration at a party I’m going to this Saturday. Next Saturday, using a gift card I got and take lil leggs and myself to Oceanniare’s Seaford for dinner next Saturday.