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This Time I Want It All

Have you ever taken the time to think about your past relationships to realize what exactly went wrong?  In some cases, I can pinpoint the moment I figured out the person wasn’t right for me, yet it was not the moment I ended things.

When we are single and dating, we are collecting data about who we think is a good fit for us.  It wasn’t until I dated a really impatient man when I decided that patience is something I truly like in a man.  Now that I have been ignored by a “really busy” boyfriend, I can say with certainty that I appreciate the man that has balance and makes time for what is important.

You see where I’m going with this?  We may have endured tough times on the dating scene but it wasn’t a complete waste of time.  We should take all that we have learned about ourselves and other people to make the best choices in selecting a mate.

When it is time and the right person comes along, there will be no settling.  There should be no confusion, apprehension, fear, or trepidation. This is why so many of the married people tell us, “You will know” when we meet the one.

I tell myself that when I make the decision to commit, the guy will have it all. Not just partially right for me, but truly right for me. What would be the point, otherwise?

Do you think that settling is necessary to be with someone?  Is it possible for us to find a person that has everything we want?  Can we expect to have it all or is it a fantasy?  How realistic are we in our expectations?

330 comments Add your comment

Be Content?

December 3rd, 2009
8:28 am

My man has done something new to me. We have not had sex in 19 days. I know he is out of work and stressing, but I refuse to be in a non-sexual relationship. He tell’s me he is trying to get closer to God and do things differently in his life and that has led to his lack of sexual desire, we are not married. I trust him and we are together almost all of the time. Is it wrong to give him the sex me or we ca not be together ultimatum? If so, I am in trouble because I did it this morning. Should I just settle and hope for the best?

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
8:41 am

@WD – you’ve been listening to John Legend’s joint. I see you!

Two points on the topic:

1) No man or woman (born of a woman alive) will have “it all”. All in this context being all of what you need to make you happy with this person. That takes me to point 2) in our past relationships, we (should) have learned what another person can do to complement our happiness.

That’s what the older people meant by “you will know”. By that time you will know yourself, what makes you happy, and what doesn’t. You will not need to ask your SO to help you find happines, you will have attained it on your own. Consequently, this person adds to your life.

‘All’ is what you make it. ‘All’ is the role you ask another person to play in your; and if in wanting it ‘All’ you’re asking too much of someone else, then the only settling you should be doing is with yourself.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
8:42 am

“play in your life”

JG

December 3rd, 2009
8:57 am

I don’t think of it as settling as much as it is compromising. Think of relative you really love parent , grand parent cousin whoever now there are things you would change about them, but you still love them just because they are who they are. Unconditional love I think is the key, yea developing an unconditional love between you and your mate should take care of it all, maybe. I’m guessing communication and putting thier needs in front of yours could get you to that point but that’s pretty deep and you have to know that you are going to get the same in return but if not move on. Just sit down put it out there and be totally honest how you feel and don’t worry about what that person thinks. Lastly and I read this somewhere I think we have to be willing to be the person that we expect the other person to be. Like if we expect a person to be perfect then we have to be perfect too. Realistically there’s no way so we have to except faults.

ImAPeach404

December 3rd, 2009
9:15 am

Is it wrong to give him the sex me or we ca not be together ultimatum?

@Content – YES! It is wrong – any ultimatum is wrong. You shouldn’t have to “force” anyone into any thing or any decision. All I can say is if you’re going to give an ultimatum, be ready to accept the decision made by your S/O.

I don’t think of it as settling as much as it is compromising.

A lot of things in life are about perception – the above statement is clearly (to me) about how you perceive the relationship. I believe if you’re happy with your partner, you can view yourself as compromising. If you’re unhappy in the relationship, you may feel as though you’ve settled.

But… who am I?

Good morning all!

C tha 1

December 3rd, 2009
9:16 am

@ Be content?
So you basically went 3 weeks without no ding-a-ling and you ’bout ready to cut this dude loose? Boy this is gonna be goooood 2Day. I feel you though, I guess. Do you love him? How old are you?

ImAPeach404

December 3rd, 2009
9:17 am

To add to Cs line of questioning for Content, how long have you all been together?

Be Content?

December 3rd, 2009
9:23 am

We have been together for 18 months. We are both 36. I do love him. I really messed up this morning.

mytw♥cents - mytw♥tatas - d♥scentavos - Fallen Angel - Albino Tigress

December 3rd, 2009
9:24 am

I think we have to allow someone to be ‘enough’ for us. Many won’t ever recognize that the one who chooses to be with them is doing the same. Fulfillment in any relationship takes acknowledging the fact that s/he is giving you all of what you need. It’s just that we can be full till our cup runneth over…yet we still (selfishly) WANT more. Sometimes we’re too greedy for our own good. How many folks were on plate #2 when we were stuffed & hadn’t digested the first?

BE CONTENT? If you’re in a purely sexual relationship you’re o-tay. But if you’re supposed to be in a full fledged on it’s lookin kinda shaky…dude told you he’s stressed, among other things & that can affect his level of desire. Was the ultimatum cuz you’re really bout to wither away from needing a release, do you not think he can love you but not be making love to you or do you kinda wonder if he’s gettin it elsewhere?

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
9:24 am

You know what WiseDiva, that word settle often get used out of context at times. We all settle for something. If you don’t believe me ask your married friends. There is something, although quite small, that you will not care for in the man that captures your heart, mind and spirit that you will have to settle for to have a life with him.

Perfection is something that we grow into. :wink: And by that I mean upon meeting you will be two separate entities from two different walks of life. You will have to learn each other. You will grow together. You will perfect each other over time. So people should be taken aback by that word settle because everyone does it. All or nothing is the reason a lot of folks are still looking.

As we have discussed here many times it’s just a matter of being truthful with yourself about what you are willing to live with and without. And more importantly being realistic about our expectations of mere mortals. We are human, we err.

I am married to a guy that still makes me giddy on the inside. He makes me smile. But in order to have him and have a life with him I have to settle for his occasional moody ways. Of all the things that he loves about me he has to settle for something that he does not like.

Take your average newly united couple and ask them what is it they don’t like about each other and you will probably get “Nothing. I love everything about him/her”. Give them 6 months and ask again. “I love him/her to pieces but there is this one little thing…”.

We don’t have it all but we damn sure have those things that matter the most.

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
9:26 am

@ Content — Ahhh…. I see it’s going to be an interesting day today… :lol:

Got a quick meeting, so no time right now, but I’ll be back shortly to give you my $.02. (I’m sure you’re all tingling with anticipation) ;-) :lol:

Morning, all!

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
9:30 am

Be Content, you call 3 weeks of no play a non-sexual relationship? Why jump to that conclusion so fast?

Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Listen to his response without being judgemental of the decisions and path he is choosing to take. Either you are there for the journey or not. You giving him an ultimatum is your choice and your right, however be prepared for his honest response.

ImAPeach404

December 3rd, 2009
9:30 am

@Content – one more piece of advice… get a removable shower head. You may find that you won’t even need him to give you some :D

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
9:32 am

@Raqi

I swear I was typing that EXACT thing (about ’settling’) before I hit refresh.

I like that you see that too. Question (to you Raqi) why do you think is it so difficult for some folks to see it[settling] in that light?

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
9:34 am

@content

He told you what was up when you brought it up the first time (ie his stress, his rededication to his spirituality, etc.).

Now, esp. with your ultimatum, you either roll with him during this time or roll on.

Be Content?

December 3rd, 2009
9:35 am

“do you not think he can love you but not be making love to you or do you kinda wonder if he’s gettin it elsewhere?”

Him getting it somewhere else has not crossed my mind once. He loves me, this I know. I have a problem with the whole religion thing and him “getting closer to God”, I lost both of my parents at an early age and I do not understand how a God can do that to a child. He on the other hand is “growing” as he puts it. And is stating he wants us to live right by God’s eye. He is even talking about marriage now. I really don’t know what is going on with him. But to answer your question again, I feel that he loves me(he has even been more affectionate lately trying to compensate for the lack of sex) and is just not making love to me. I trust him, if I had any inkling that he were with someone else I would leave. Maybe I am just over reacting and this is better for us in the long run.

C tha 1

December 3rd, 2009
9:36 am

Dang Be Content? you grown as hell. Did you mess up? Ahh, yeah. You done F’ed up now. But you’re in a salvagable situation. Dude says he’s stressed so help him get through his situation. Having a high sex drive can be a real B sometimes. How often you’re used to gettin’ it?
Oh before I forget…thank you for throughing some Lawrey’s on the blog this morning.

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
9:39 am

Be Content, and if you know he is stressed you should be more understanding. We sometimes allow our selfishness to take over. That is a downfall of us all.

Dream_n--1 day until lil dreams bday

December 3rd, 2009
9:39 am

Is it possible to have it all?

I wish it was, but unfortunately it’s impossible to have it all. *sigh*

There’s nothing wrong with having realistic expectations when choosing your mate. Life is too short to waste time on numerous bad relationships. It’s funny because people want you to make the mistakes that they did, and when you don’t or take the necessary measures to avoid the prolonged dating saga they had to endure, they want to sit back and wait on your destruction.

Right now I’m on a much needed find yourself, get your career in motion kinda track. I’m much for proccupied with trying to raise my daughter to be a productive member of society, than trying to find Mr. Right. He’ll come to me, I’m not searching for him.

What I have learned is kinda what WiseD described, I’ve learned what I can’t really tolerate. I need patience, understanding, self control, respect,and other necessitites to attain a healthy relationship. I don’t look at dating as some sort of sport or some sort of game. It’s too dangerous to let any and every man that winks at you into your life.

I had a friend tell me that my 20’s are for you to make mistakes and date numerous men and your 30’s are for you to regret all of your mishaps. I kinda laughed it off, and thought to myself. “Are you serious”?

Naw not for me…

Be Content

Don’t jump to conclusions.. That’s probaby the worst thing you can do. Have you been on MSN, this very topic was being talked about a couple of days ago.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
9:43 am

He tell’s me he is trying to get closer to God and do things

Content?? I almost lambasted u for stressing on a man who is on a Godly path untill u said this,we are not married!!

ditto..that did it for me…

Either,1)the man is truly thankful for the sexx,but it was empty and after he got his thirst quenched,he realises…eehhhhh,he needs something deeper..so dont even go there coz God will still win.
Or 2)..hes on his way out,thanx for the sexx but the game is now over..The God excuse is just an excuse in escapance(wrd)..a parachute…hes waiting on u to do what u did today,give ultomatum,so that he can leave with a good conscience.

The cow is milked!

ON TOPIC

Can we expect to have it all or is it a fantasy?

WD?? i dont know where the nearest book store is for u but go there,buy a cindirella book and u be good….my 11yr old can help u if u want.

Good merning creamers,back strokers and uall squiters! :lol:

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
9:45 am

Morning all!

I think women tend to make more of a deal about a man they are with not giving up the D as opposed to a man not getting it from a chick they’re dating. I’m sure it goes back to being told that all men want is the vah jay jay..so when they aren’t after it, or accepting it when it’s being thrown at them, we automatically assume something major is wrong. Whether it be he is getting it elsewhere, no longer desires you or whatever…even when buddy is saying it’s due to the rut of not having a job we just can’t fathom them STILL not wanting it after a whole 3wks. JMO but what do I know

Dream_n--1 day until lil dreams bday

December 3rd, 2009
9:46 am

Be Content

See there lies the underlying problem. His faith versus your lack of. Two people joining into a union should not be unequally yolked. If you are not on the same road as your SO, my suggestion is to cut your loses now. No since in prolonging the inevitable.

But if you can see yourself trying to be more understanding and sympathize with what he’s going through, and allow him to follow his heart, then stick it out. Stand behind him and do something that shows him that you are going to be with through his journey.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
9:51 am

@Dream

What does “equally yolked” even mean?

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
9:52 am

I have a problem with the whole religion thing and him “getting closer to God

I knew that was going to be the problem from reading your first post. Be Content, you are not the one for him and he is not the one for you. Period.

He has the right to seek a closeness with God and should not be made to feel bad about it. My suggestion is you need to go find someone else that is more suitable for you. He needs to do the same.

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
9:54 am

Also, Be Content….the fact that you say you don’t understand how God could take both your parents at such a young age but yet be with a man who now feels desire to pull closer to that entity you have no understanding of is really going to be the BIGGER picture. If you feel betrayed by God due to your past experience, it’s only going to grow into a bigger deal (aka resentment) the more he pulls to in that direction.

DO you feel God is now trying to take your SO away from you in some shape form or fashion? (just a question)

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
9:56 am

Well said, Raqi!

Now, back to Content

Admittedly, I can be a pretty cynical b@stard, so my first inclination upon hearing your story was to think, “he’s getting it somewhere else.” But you seem certain that’s not the case, and you should know better than anyone else.

So… if it really is all just a matter of him wanting to get “closer to god” then you’ve just got to decide if you’re down with that long-term. Personally, I think religion in general is BS & attempting to repress one’s sexual desires in the name of religion just leads to more perversion (just ask an alter boy) — but that’s another blog. :lol: As for your ultimatum… well, I don’t necessarily think there’s anything wrong with ultimatums, so long as you’re okay with the fact that the person has 2 choices in that scenario & may not choose you. Bottom line, if the lack of sex is a deal-breaker for you, then it’s good that you let him know that.

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
9:58 am

Enter your comments hereDan, I think it is because many only look at the word from one perspective. The word has been used in a negative way when it comes to relationships. Yes there is a bad “settling”. But there is also a definition of settling that means to be content with. That person posting as “Be Content” probably did so because the topic is about settling. She used a positive term yet posted in a negative tone.

We all should learn to be content with reality. Reality is no one is perfect in every sense. We must decide within ourselves what is really important.

czBrat

December 3rd, 2009
9:59 am

GM All!

Seems most are on the same page with this topic. It is entirely unrealistic to want it all, unless you know that you bring ALL to your relationship (i.e. are you perfect???). Me, I fully realize I have imperfections that my s/o must deal with …. in return I deal with his. That’s compromise (or ’settling’) on the smaller things for the joy of the greater things we have found in each other.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
10:02 am

@Raqi

Is that maturity though? Because for me it’s logic.

I’m not everything I want to be and I recognize and accept my own failings as a human, why would I not do the same for someone else? I mean, I just don’t get it.

How (I’m asking for an opinion) are there still females walking around with this mindset?

Dream_n--1 day until lil dreams bday

December 3rd, 2009
10:02 am

Dan

“unequally yolked”

Means when two people are not spiritual intune with one another.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 3rd, 2009
10:06 am

Hey WD.

Good topic and I will make this short and sweet: 2 points:

Have you ever taken the time to think about your past relationships to realize what exactly went wrong?

1. I was thinking about this while on my trip to Dallas last week and I dont want to sound chavunistic, but I know EXACTLY where my last relationship went wrong. I am honest enough to admit this but I did not check disrespect early in the relationship. How you start is how you finish. She would talk real slick at the mouth and I dont know why I accepted it at first. Looking back, it was a test for her to find her boundaries from know own. I learned that respect is primary in a relationship.

Do you think that settling is necessary to be with someone?

2. Settling is something that I have been discussing alot lately with my friends. Settling is not necessary in order to be with someone. To me, it is directly tied to STANDARDS. It is important for guys that you have a certain level of integrity and standards for the women that we deal with. It’s like saying “I will not go under this” in any area, career, number of kids, looks, whatever. I am at the point where I would rather have nothing than a half stepping relationship. Plus I dont want to force any issue with a woman. I am comfortable enough being single and dont have to have a woman under me all the time.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
10:06 am

@Dreams

Happy birthday to you daughter, BTW.

But here’s my thing about “yolked”, the Bible is interpreted in many different ways (for different reasons), if the way I interpret the Bible isn’t the way you or your pastor interprets it, does that make us ‘unequally yoked’?

That’s assuming we even believe in the same interpretation of God.

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
10:10 am

Good morning. I guess it’s just me, but 19 days w/o is not a long time factoring all that’s going on. Stress is a killjoy all across the board. Tolerance, understanding (and perhaps that removable showerhead ImAPeach refers to) can go along way. No one should give another an “ultimatium” on anything. Why would you want something you “forced.” The pleasure can’t possibly be of high quality. You might as well ask for a dry hump w/your clothes on. I’m just saying…

@Dan, “equally yolked” means the fabric of the relationship has more smoother lines than wrinkles!

Luvbug

December 3rd, 2009
10:12 am

Do you think that settling is necessary to be with someone? Yes. At least I would hope so. I would hate to have a guy require I be perfect…but then – this is a loaded question. Settling means different things to different people…many times extremely different.

Is it possible for us to find a person that has everything we want? Don’t think so.

Can we expect to have it all or is it a fantasy? No, I think it’s a fantasy. Happily single or married or whatever arrangement, nobody has it all or will…no matter what their selling.

How realistic are we in our expectations? Can’t speak for others, but I think I am fair in my expectations…when presented with the options and the consequences, I’m generally content in my choices so far…and the consequences too.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
10:12 am

Three Words Daily – Do for others.

Luvbug

December 3rd, 2009
10:13 am

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
10:14 am

Dan,equally yolked means we on the same path… its that simple

The clever pastor will want to add some goldy mystique to it,to make his message appear more annointed hence drawing the Big crowd and consequently a fuller collection plate. :lol:

Entrepeneurship runs deep in America! :lol:

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
10:15 am

This time I wanted it all….and I’m getting it. :)

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
10:16 am

No one should settle, but one should recognize the difference between settling and compromising.

Luvbug

December 3rd, 2009
10:17 am

@Content
First things first…don’t take the advice of complete strangers when it comes to your relationship… or at least take it with a grain of salt

Now my advice: 1) Apologize, if you feel you’ve rushed to judgment on your ultimatum. 2) Deeply consider his reasoning for less sex and state your understanding of his trouble and new religious direction to him in detail and sympathetically so he knows you understand his struggles. 3) Let him know you’re struggling with his newness and want to make it work for both of you.

Again…GRAIN OF SALT…the real answers are probably in the small details we don’t know and you’ve not written about.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
10:18 am

@Dan

Thanx for the bday wishes.

I see where your’re going.

Interpretation and beliefs are two different things.

When it comes to that term “unequally yolked”, I see it as two individuals believing in different things. Beliefs are very sacred and important in most peoples lives. I can’t be with someone who does not believe in jesus christ, and some one who is a muslim would most likely not want to entertain a relationship with me. So why try to force something… We would be polar opposites.

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
10:19 am

Dan, I agree with you. Maturity or not I can’t say. One fault many are guilty of is thinking more highly of ourselves than we really are. Sometimes it takes others to show and tell us where we are going wrong. Many choose not to listen because they think they are perfect.

It’s sorta like this. You have a spot on the back of you left sleeve but when you look at yourself in the mirror you find no flaws. You walk up to a woman that has a spot on her right pants leg and you say “she has a flaw. I don’t like her”. Now whether or not she knows about her flaw is one thing but her being judged as flawed by a person that does not see or recognize his own flaw is something totally different. That is what many of us do.

Some after being made aware of their flaw will try to mask it and pretend it does not exist. As far as they are concerned as long as you don’t know about it, it does not exist. Then some just learn to live with their flaws and make the most out of life all it has to offer. Those that recognize and live with them trying to better it are those that accept that no one is perfect and probably have better success at connecting with others.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
10:19 am

No one should settle, but one should recognize the difference between settling and compromising.

Exactly Legss!!

C tha 1

December 3rd, 2009
10:21 am

You know I guess I’m having a similar issue. My wife hasn’t given me any in 3 months!! 3 MONTHS!!! Then again she did just have a 8lb baby through C-Section but still the grace period is over. I’m just sayin.

The irony is that while she was pregnant she was horny as hell. By month 6 she was showing pretty good and wanted it all the time. I didn’t. She got pissed. When she asked why I wasn’t feeling it anymore I told her the truth . . . the sanitized version.

Me: Baby, your stomach is in the way

Wife: I’m still sexy. What’s wrong with you? I’m carrying your baby.

Me: Yeah you still got it going on, but the thought of you carrying my baby don’t do it for me, feel me.

Wife: I think your testosterone is low. I don’t want to be one of those couples that’s in a sexless relationship.

By the time she went on about it like that I felt sort of bad. I broke her off, but it was more of a chore than anything. And sex should never be a chore. What can I say, I’m a visual guy. If I said what I really thought I would’ve kissed any future lovin goodbye.

Me: Baby, you’re big . . . ger . . . today . . . than you were last week. I need some time to process it all. Rain Check?

Wife: (Disgusted Eye Roll)…..Asshole, forget I even asked. . .just forget it.

But now she’s in Mommy mode and Daddy ain’t gettin no lovin. I know its hormonal, but I’ve noted in the Mental Married Record Book that I took several for the team when I wasn’t feeling it.

Jeff

December 3rd, 2009
10:22 am

Simple answers to the main topic and the subtopic:

If this man you want has “it all”, what are you bringing to the table that is going to make him pick you over others?

He hasn’t been interested for 19 days? Welcome to our world sunshine.

Be Content?

December 3rd, 2009
10:23 am

Thank you all for your input, he has tried to include me in his journey. All I have done is pushed back. He just called me from work and was upset with the ultimatum. He told me that even though he loves sex that it does not rule him and that I need to do what I need to do. i asked him what does that mean. He say’s that he may want to come home and sex me down or that I may need to get a “toy” but if I do anything that violates “our trust” that he is putting me out. I think he just gave me an ultimatum. I thank you all for the different perspectives. I am going to meet him for lunch. Have a good rest of the day.

abc

December 3rd, 2009
10:25 am

Chances are, the things that you feel are right for you in another person, yet to be met, are probably off the mark. You don’t really know what it’s going to be until they’re there, and that little light bulb goes off.

Be Content, you really flunked the grace and compassion test. 18 months is a lot of time to give away due to a slip like that, but it’s such a telling characteristic, if I were him, I’d be out of there. I can’t imagine it’d be just that one thing, such a strong ultimatum, that jumped up out of nowhere. Good luck, though.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
10:27 am

Enter your comments here

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
10:28 am

M.
I just read your post.. and I agre with your statement.

“I am at the point where I would rather have nothing than a half stepping relationship.”

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
10:30 am

Luvbug from reading Content’s comments the problem is not the lack of sex. Her problem is more of the fact that he is choosing to seek a relationship with God. Whether or not his search is the true reason for the 3 weeks of no sex that is what she does not like about him so she is making her issue with God be the reason.

She mentioned work and stress. Why not have a problem with the company that employs him that is making him stressed? To be fair and all.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
10:30 am

we forgot to ask Content hw often they do it and how often she likes it….

might need to send lil wayne ova there!

KP (http://www.chatkafeonline.com)

December 3rd, 2009
10:32 am

Wow! One of the few times I hear about a man on the other side of the “I don’t want to have sex” coin.

Hmmm…ultimatums come with decisions. You have to be willing to accept the one he makes. Most likely the man will abort his course because he’s been backed against the wall. MEN HATE ULTIMATUMS!

My questions are these…Is your relationship only validated because of the sexual relationship you have with him? What if he IS truly stressed? Why not serve as the vessel of comfort men so desire from women they eventually want to call their wives? That will earn much more respect from him than focusing on temporary desires of your flesh.

Some points to ponder, but true LOVE won’t allow you to bounce on him just because he’s going through a temporary season in his life.

Wonderwoman

December 3rd, 2009
10:33 am

Good morning all,

BeContent- I see it two ways for you. 1) it sounds like u hv some unresolved issues from your past, with the passing of your parents. Which I’m truly sorry to hear. But maybe, just maybe this could be a blessing. Maybe God is given u an opportunity to resolve your past issues with Him, through this situation you and your SO are going through. Maybe He is using your SO the fact that he has a desire to get closer to God, maybe you can as well. Then your relationship with your SO can be stronger by together you and your SO growing in the word. But you have open you heart even if its just a little for the Word. 2) But if your not willing to even try to join your SO journey, then as someone said to be unequally yolked the relationship will not last. If its love don’t be afraid to grow in love together!

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
10:34 am

@Dreams

I’mma say this and end my little rant on religion.

I don’t really care that or who someone prays to. What matters to me most is that persons actions in life (I’m not the one that determines anything about their afterlife).

When you get to talking dating and religion, it kinda goes with the crux of this topic:

Is this a good person?

Do they treat others with respect and understanding?

Is that a result of how they live their interpretation of their faith?

Is is different from mine?

Do I love who she is?

Is our only problem our interpretation of the Divine? Am I willing to tie my happiness to this person?

So I guess I’m more in the actual act of Paul and Jesus, accepting all for who they are, and responding accordingly.

To each his/her own about it though.

mytw♥cents - mytw♥tatas - d♥scentavos - Fallen Angel - Albino Tigress

December 3rd, 2009
10:42 am

BE CONTENT? Thanks for your response. What’s confusing is how many times you’ve said you don’t know what’s going on, yet you’ve given us a thorough explanatiion. And the fact that he’s trying to pleasure you outside of the act itself suggests he is concerned about your happiness. Why aren’t you as concerned about his?

As for God, I really wish you knew Him. His goodness surpasses my hurts and that’s part of how I’ve coped with the messed up stuff life has thrown my way. But if you choose to hold onto yours, after all of these years, it’s on you. Beyond spirituality and religion, embracing a Victim Mentality daily must be wearing you down.

Wonderwoman

December 3rd, 2009
10:43 am

Leggs & Dream_n I’m with ya’ll today.

There is a difference between settling and compromising. And a very early post summed it up, it was exactly what I was thinkin. I think ImPeach said it great…happy = compromise unhappy = settling.

I have settled many times in a relationship. The unhappy moments out weighted the happy ones and I stayed around instead of ending it, that to me is settling.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
10:47 am

@WW

Do you have the job you want? The position within the company?

Is your job your passion? Do you love going to work everyday?

Does your job fulfill you (overall)?

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
10:52 am

@ Dan..

I respect your opinion/belief…

I can accept all your faults and your flaws. I’m not a religious person. I do not belong to any denomination, b/c I believe, belonging to a group or certain religion seperates us.

Example: A realtionship between you and I would be like trying to make like ends of a magnet attract. Especially if our beliefs are battling eachother.

But yeah let’s jump off this ride… :grin:

Luvbug

December 3rd, 2009
10:57 am

Raqi- The initial post I read mentioned sex, joblessness and religion. My advice was she understand his struggle (whatever it is) and discuss her struggle (whatever it is) and try to resolve it together…I made sure to open and close with “don’t take advice from strangers” (especially me).

I can’t (won’t) confirm that God is her primary issue, nor the other things she mentioned, even if she states each a million times. I’m not a trained psychologist or relationship therapist. I’m guessing a person with that skill set would pull out all the details of both parties and get past the surface complaints.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
10:59 am

@Dream

One last comment: that’s just it. My beliefs have nothing to do with yours. I care more about how you live in faith, than how you practice it.

And where’d this me and you come from? Kinda feelin’ the D huh? It happens.

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
11:01 am

First things first…Sending Plenty of Birthday Wishes to Little Dream

@Content…I agree with most of the bloggers (Dream & Melo) you have to be equally yolked. You need to decide what works for YOU! If you need a four hour session of the wild thing…go for it! If you are seeking a true well rounded relationship that is not a fairytale…this is one of those times you will have to stand the rain…singing it like new edition…sunny days everybody loves them….

On topic the only way you can have everything you want in a relationship is this way…reduce folks to a fraction i.e he gives me 25% of what I want and seek the other 75% with others. So if you want the real deal you need to say WHAT WORKS FOR ME THAT IS A MUST HAVE, and you might have to compromise and negotiate on the rest.

Wonderwoman

December 3rd, 2009
11:02 am

Dan- I’m going to answer in order…Yes, Yes, No, No, and No. I guess I don’t tie emotions to a job the way I do a relationship.

Ok I answered…whats your point?

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
11:03 am

I care more about how you live in faith, than how you practice it.

Isn’t that the same thing. Living/practicing.
And
You did read the “example” part… right?

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
11:03 am

Luvbug Thanks for that 10:57!

…I want to catch up, but I cannot do all that reading.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
11:06 am

Hey there Prof..

I’ll send the pics your way at the nights end.. I’m doing kinda a story board.. Starting out in the morning and ending after we have opened the last gift!!!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
11:07 am

Morning All

Leggs – you pretty much summed it up for me with this..”There is a difference between settling and compromising”.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
11:10 am

Ok I answered…whats your point?

:lol:

Comparing a job to a relationship in “the context” we are talking about is funny..

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
11:10 am

@WW

My point is you’ve ’settled’ in your career for less than what fulfills you. You’ll likely stay there until retirement if its your choice. But you’ve come to terms with how that job makes you feel (for good and ill) because of what it provides outside of negative emotions.

How is that any different in a relationship?

Someone that has all, but (whatever the but represents) and you can get past the but to stay in it.

More rhetorical than anything. Thank you for answering, and feel free to respond to this if you so choose.

@Dream

Yeah, I caught that. So you’d give up the (possible) love of your life because he doesn’t pray to the same God? Even if you both ask for the same things?

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
11:10 am

Hey Dream,

That sounds really nice and she is so cute! So, I know she will have a great day and a wonderful birthday…I like the story board concept.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
11:10 am

There is also a difference between settling, compromising and deciding that some things that you once thought were dealbreakers or disqualifiers are no longer that big of a deal.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
11:11 am

can’t get past the ‘but’ – my bad.

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
11:13 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL DREAM_N ~ Big Dream_n, the years are going to fly by even faster now. Remember all her impish grins and wide-eyed wonderment at just about everything!

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
11:19 am

@ Dan

I was going to go into a long drawn out explanation, but I’ll just give the short version.

Yes. We can work on faults and flaws, but for me at least there’s no compromising on who God is, and who his son is. JMB though.

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
11:20 am

When it is time and the right person comes along, there will be no settling. There should be no confusion, apprehension, fear, or trepidation. Solely because the desire to please your mate and enhance the relationship is effortless. Nothing is looked at as being a “chore.” With the right person, love, joy, care and concern will always be front and center and any negative task (disagreement) will be put to bay rather quickly!

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
11:23 am

@ Leggs

Yes, It seems like 4 years has sped by. And yes I remember and still see her little grin and amazement at everything. Thank you for the bday wishes.

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
11:23 am

Dan and Dream

I will say this (not to add any fuel), but I have seen people marry for love (in my own family) and not being equally yoked tear them apart. When children, Holidays and invites started pouring in, it was against one person’s religion to go or celebrate and the other party did not want to go alone year after year and explain why the spouse was at home. One person wanted Christmas decorations up and the other person did not believe and did not want that in the house.

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
11:24 am

good morning Mytwo, KP, Slim, all!

*there will be no settling* this topic has me written all over it. thanks Wise! at 41, i’m willing to wait for him whoever he may be. i want to do it right this time, cus there’s no divorce!

my number one priority will be making sure i’m happy and satisfied. my second priority will be showing him that he is all that matters and supporting our love throughout our journey together.

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
11:25 am

So, Dream, are you taking cupcakes and ice cream to the school? Is that something that parents still do…take cupcakes to the entire class?

Wonderwoman

December 3rd, 2009
11:28 am

Dan- I defintely would not retire here..trust that. I don’t see it as me settling here. I’m here to do a job, get the work done. Do I want something better, of course. I guess I say I don’t tie emotions, because regardless whether I’m happy or unhappy I have to work to pay bills. For me there is no compromise at work, ‘it is what it is’. I can’t say oh today I’m leaving this job. Where in a relationships I guess I put more emotions into, it makes it harder to leave because you established attachments,and caring for a person.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
11:30 am

LOL @ is that something parents still do.. :lol:

Actually I picked up cake and ice cream. The ex and I are getting off early to go to the school and sing happy birthday and cut the cake. The cake is in the shape of a princess castle with all the princesses in diffferent parts of the castle. (which will be included in the pics.)

Leggs.. How many birthdays until the excitement wears off..lol. Should I still be this giddy!!! lol

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
11:32 am

*How realistic are we in our expectations?* i’m being very realistic, because i’ve had it before. my bar is set and has never been lowered. i have no problem finding a man, no problem with getting married. i’m approach almost every week with dates, etc. i decline because i don’t see or feel any connection with said person after a nice friendly conversation.

the issue i have with settling is that person being miserable and unhappy. sh*it, i can do that all by myself.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
11:32 am

Leggs I like that 11:20..

But I do want to say, that while I don’t think a relationship should be a chore. It may take some work. In a relationship there are those obstacles that pop up that need team work between both parties to endure.

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
11:33 am

Sidenote: There’s a mom in Roswell (?) that is trying to ban parents from bringing cupcakes to school. She feels it should be up to the individual parents to feed there own kids junk, and that children should not be tempted when one brings bday cupcakes to school. Her children know not to touch nare one of those cupcakes!

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
11:35 am

Make sure you send a pic of the cake…that sounds pretty! I need one of those for my birthday coming up in 19 days.

Beautiful~I agree I do not believe in divorce, but I know that can change if you are stuck and see yourself dying a little each day. If I get married I am going to go in with ’til death do us apart.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
11:37 am

KP, i agree and disagree with u…

If her sexual apetite is off the charts and his is so so,she needs to bounce coz settling for a slow tortoise will lead to cheating..

As a 36 yr old,shes old enough to know..unless ofcourse she believes sexx makes the man luv her more and better..which really is a low, self esteem women who usually think that way.

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
11:38 am

@Dream_n ~ the excitement nevers wears off! I’m giddy planning lil leggs’ Sweet 16!

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
11:39 am

I can see where that mom is comimg from, but trying to ban cupcakes is a bit much. Just instruct the school to not give cupcakes to your children, hand them a bag of carrots instead. People waste too much energy on nonsense I tell ya.

@ professor.. I have 24 more days until my bday. Might have to get us both one of those..lol

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
11:41 am

Of course there are, Dream_n. My point is if one begins to look at the “obstacles” as “chores” and begrudge having to deal with them, the relationship is doomed. When you care, things usually don’t fester and solutions are usually meted out quickly.

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
11:42 am

since i’ve never been married and never had the experience of being blessed with such commitment, i know that I’ll BE ALL IN and will ride it out like a champ.

i love hard. i can make any relationship work. BUT! i desire a relationship where it will be effortless on my part. what Leggs said.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
11:47 am

Dream_n – happy burfday to the lil one! I still get excited as well for Lil Mo’s b-day. We are turning the big 5 this year and Im all excited about planning a party.

Professor – I have taken cupcakes to school every year since the age of two and dont plan on stopping til maybe 7! LOL! Its fun to see all the kiddies faces when they sing “Happy Birthday” and eat their cake (cupcake)and ice cream. Thank goodness for whoever came up with pull apart cakes! Heaven Sent!

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
11:49 am

Dream I agree that mom should not let her kids eat cupcakes, but I would send her kid a soy alfalfa sprout berry cupcake

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
11:51 am

Hey Mo!

Does Lil Mo still talk about that girl in his class I forgot what he said about her? I remember it being funny…like something about her thighs or something.

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
11:51 am

@Dream
happy b-day to lil dream and many many more! :) my baby will be 16 in feb. he reminded me that he will be getting his driver’s license. didn’t i jus change his poopie diaper the other day? lol. time flies.

Luvbug

December 3rd, 2009
11:51 am

Thanks Professor

Luvbug

December 3rd, 2009
11:52 am

Just instruct the school to not give cupcakes to your children, hand them a bag of carrots instead.

Man, I’d hate to be that kid… Luvbug now standing with one tear rolling down her cheek like the Crying Indian on the anti-pollution commercial (completely old reference)

KP (http://www.chatkafeonline.com)

December 3rd, 2009
11:54 am

@Melo…Of course we disagree on the content situation! We’ve debated this situation before.

I realize there are women who desire to be fed (sexually) as part of a relationship expectation. That’s why I try to express my spiritual position in advance so I can nip it in the bud early on and keep it moving.

I do sympathize with her though because it’s difficult to make this change midstream. I counsel a lot on these situations and it’s usually a challenge for the person who didn’t receive the same memo from God.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
11:55 am

Luvbug – I still LOVE the Beautiful Land commercial. ~lol~

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
11:56 am

Professor – oh Ms Thunda Thighs…..yes Lil Mo FINALLY pointed her out to me. I also had to mention that he cant say she has ‘thunda thighs’ (even though he had no clue what that was). LOL! That is still funny to me.

When I dropped him off the other day, there was a lil girl in his class being dropped off by her dad. (The kids have to go to another class room in the AM to wait for their teacher.) So the lil girl tells her dad “you go on Im waiting for Lil Mo”. So I asked Lil Mo who she was and he told me. She clearly was serious and waited for my baby. I had to laugh, he has one every year that always ‘looks out’ for him.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
11:58 am

Thanx ladies for the bday wishes..

@ Leggs wait.. I thought lil leggs was like 5 or 6.. 16 wow. You have a maturing adolescent on your hands..lol

@ Mo 5.. so you’re in the same boat as I. The question stage/trying to read things/wanting to dress himself stage?? lol

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
12:06 pm

Dream_n – wants to correct me on is name now, no nicknames. everything is “I can do it, no dont help me”. Which most times is cool but when mommy is in a hurry, I do need to help you! But yeah you are right!

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
12:08 pm

Yes, yes thunda thighs…LOL that is still funny. Go on Lil Mo, with the chicks waiting on him. That is too cute. Did Lil Mo get your dimples, I bet he is so cute?

Luvbug…the crying Indian made we want to cry. There was this letter that used to be in the reptile section on the wall at Zoo Atlanta…every time I read that letter that the Indian Chief sent to the President would make me get all full inside. I need to find a copy of that letter and have it framed and placed in my house.

Whoa!

December 3rd, 2009
12:08 pm

Wonderwoman

December 3rd, 2009
12:10 pm

Wow, to have a 5year old…that was a good age. Still sweet, not too babyshish, but so simple. My daughter is 9 in 3rd grade, and I think she slipped and fell on her head cuz she is trippin this school year. They go through so many phases!

Whoa!

December 3rd, 2009
12:10 pm

A guy from my past took one look at my child and told me he might be the father. Im beside myself.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
12:14 pm

Professor – Thanks! I have to still laugh at that too. Lil Mo was so sincere..”you know mommy, she’s fat, has a face and has thunda thighs”…LMBAO! And yeah he has mommy’s smile! :smile:

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
12:14 pm

MO/Proff/Dream..seems its a common trait with kids round that age..my 4 yr old sone stresses on doing stuff himself too,no help needed.

And like urs MO,he has a lil girl at school thats his best buddy,the teachers even asked me bout it..But he says,”shes not my girlfriend,just my friend”
Yu buy him some at Mcdonals,he wants a toy for his lil budy at school too,talk about,”hw about Kanaee”"…
Now if dude attracts girls like that when he gets to middle school,im in trouble! :lol:

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
12:18 pm

Melo

You might have a young stallion on your hands.. :lol:

@Wonderwoman.. that’s so true. I know I’m in for many more phases as she gets older.

Whoa!

December 3rd, 2009
12:19 pm

Not going to trip. I know I wasnt with him at that time. He is going to purchase the D.N.A home kit. I feel terrible.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
12:19 pm

and Mo, that was funny..

Thunder thighs.. I’m still laughing.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
12:22 pm

@Whoa! I feel terrible??

feel terrible why?..just confront the dude who dont know yet he got a new kid…

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
12:23 pm

You don’t know who your child’s father is? Really?

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
12:23 pm

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 3rd, 2009
12:26 pm

reading that Not One time did WD say what she did in the reklationship.. Only that the person was not right for her.. Thats not being accountable or taking responsibility for your part in the demise of the relationship.. Because it takes two to build or kill a relationship.

Whoa!

December 3rd, 2009
12:26 pm

Im 99% sure of who his father is. The fact that he put this in my mind and making me think that there may be a possibility thats where the 1% comes from.

Whoa!

December 3rd, 2009
12:30 pm

I know it’ll be fine. No worries.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
12:31 pm

Dream_n – it took EVA-THANG in me not to holla with laughter when he said that! I was like :shock: ! LOL!

Melo – now Lil Mo isnt looking out for the lil ladies but they sho’ takes good care of him. He pays it no attention! But he had one lil friend that was a dead ringer for my sister at that age, I almost passed out when I saw that child. He really did pay her attention and she isnt at his school this year. :sad:

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
12:32 pm

LMBO

Okay. It’s cold out there.

3 shots, one cranky 19 lbs. baby.

My favorite pharmacist is leaving the location where I shop.

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
12:33 pm

Whoa, if you know you were not with him during the time of conception why the 1% doubt?

For Real

December 3rd, 2009
12:34 pm

“A guy from my past took one look at my child and told me he might be the father. Im beside myself.” – Dayum I bet the dude with the burnt beard is interested in that DNA test too.

Wise: After reading your post you failed to mention your contribution to the failed relationships. You only mentioned that they were not right for you. Now do you want us to believe out of all of the relationship you have had “they were always” not right for you and that your relationship did not end because you were not right for them? Can I get at least a spoon full of accountability from you?

Whoa!

December 3rd, 2009
12:37 pm

I cant remember how long it was between him and the real father. I truly believe around two months.

Wise Diva

December 3rd, 2009
12:42 pm

If you have read my past entries, I always address my bad choices, behavior, and I show the lessons that I have learned in them. My accountability IS important, which I feel I have written about ad nauseum before. It was not omitted in an attempt to spin it as if I am a perfect flawless individual with no personal responsibility.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
12:43 pm

@Whoa!

And both encounters were unprotected?

Dan now looking for the Lysol/spermicide – just in case

I’m kidding, but not really.

Luvbug

December 3rd, 2009
12:43 pm

Im 99% sure of who his father is

Besides this guy, is there some other guy walking around 100% sure he’s the father?

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
12:44 pm

@WD

The question is: do you keep making the same bad choices and behaviors in these relationships?

If you were honest, or could ask the dudes, what do you think the common theme would be?

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
12:44 pm

*It was not omitted in an attempt to spin it as if I am a perfect flawless individual with no personal responsibility.*

i love this. gonna have to steal . . . i mean save for future use.

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
12:44 pm

WOW, I can’t even imagine havin that 1% in my mind. That’s why I never believed in double teaming!

@Dream_n, yes indeed going on 16. I’m blessed cuz she really is a good girl with just a lil mouf.

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
12:45 pm

Whoa~who does the baby look like (a) 99% or (b) 1%? Are you married to 99%? I am trying to see if you can get the hookup on child support from both :shock:

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
12:47 pm

I cant remember how long it was between him and the real father. I truly believe around two months.

Did your baby come early or late????

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 3rd, 2009
12:49 pm

Whoa! – If you were 99% sure you wouldnt be out here freaking out.. Come on with the jokes.. Something you did in the dark is coming to light.. You thought you could take this one to your grave..

Luvbug

December 3rd, 2009
12:53 pm

How old is the child?

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
12:56 pm

Dan,

Was that you that mention raw dogging yesterday?

~Whoa I think a DNA test is in order.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
12:57 pm

@Prof

Yes, as in “who still does this”?

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
12:57 pm

Professor..

Don’t worry about Dan and his people..lol
Cause men don’t rawdog where he comes from!

Right Dan :wink:

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
12:58 pm

this is so dang funny on a daily. i keep this site up and rolling all the time so i can laugh laugh laugh while i work. ha-la-ree-us, not sure about yo baby’s daddy.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
1:00 pm

I am trying to see if you can get the hookup on child support from both

u silly Proff :lol:

I think Whoa flunk the test.When dude asked for the DNA test,she shlkd have just went into a rage….

Dude would have cowed and forgot about it…

See,ladies,smetimes in ur eagerness not to dissappointy a good dude, u go soft and look like a door mat instead.

Guys get into a rage everytime the woman gets them for smething.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
1:01 pm

I try really hard to not be hypocritical with the sht that I post or lie or project a persona that is not who I am. I think I do pretty good most of the time.

But sometimes….just sometimes…

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
1:03 pm

@DreamN

That’s riiight!

I don’t have children outside of marriage. I don’t deal in BMD. I have a few friends that have followed that model.

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
1:06 pm

Prof that was me who mentioned the rawdoggin. Dan said they don’t do that where he comes from. In Dan’s hometown, dudes are born with condoms already on. LOL! (Dan, you know i lub you)

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
1:07 pm

who wants to buy me lernch today and i return the fav on friday..so hungry and broke??
I aint broke broke,but im broke today
ladies only..

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
1:08 pm

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
1:09 pm

Y’all buggin’,

but it’s logic. What’s cheaper, the box of condoms, the baby, or the lawyer?

Real quick decision for me most times

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
1:11 pm

:lol: Thanks, Whoa! I was just starting to get sleepy over here…

Melo — I know there must be some questions you want to ask Whoa!;-)

Ahhh, I can always count on MIA to keep me entertained. ;-)

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:11 pm

@ Dream

lol.. I could’ve bet you a million bucks you were going to go in that direction. No children out of wed lock.. High 5!
But I bet you still have sex outside of that union.. come on folks kill me with that.

Now if you have 3 or 4 different kids outside of wedlock with 3 or 4 different men. Then that may get a side eye. That means that you have not learned anything.

As for the BMD.. why do people associate.. Being a single parent with drama???

( :mrgreen: .. it’s all in good humor though Dan, please don’t take this too seriously.. it’s okay to welcome a couple of laughs into your life)

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:12 pm

opps @ Dan.. lol

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
1:13 pm

Qstion i always want to ask Swiss/slimone etc and i forget only to remember when i get home and WD has closed the office door…

anywhere i can get edible/candy/lickable nikkas for a female.Like at the sex shop or sme..wld they have that??

If its a set,edible bras and undies,even better..!!!

Please chime in my lady slut friends as well..

thnking bout taking this to some level i neva been tooo..ever! :lol:

Lernch calls! :lol:

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
1:16 pm

“anywhere i can get edible/candy/lickable nikkas for a female.Like at the sex shop or sme..wld they have that??”

I believe Fredrick’s of Hollywood has edible undies. At least they used to. Uh, allegedly. :lol:

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
1:18 pm

Slim,

Born with condoms…Funny as hell!

Dream, You know folks bump and grind outside of the union :grin: BTW I can never make the green face…let me try it again :green: :green:

Oh yea even if I had a baby I would not have the drama! Two mature people can work things out for the child and put their feelings aside.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
1:19 pm

@Dreams

To answer your question, life experience (the BMD).

Of course I have sex outside the union of marriage, I’m not beholden to that concept (plus, have you seen me?). However, a child should not (potentially) be made to suffer becuase of my laspe in judgemnent.

Having to deal with somma of the things friends and family have regarding kids and lost love, I’da been under the jail.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:21 pm

it’s :mrgreen:

Proff!!!

Now I’m not saying it was the best decision. What I do advocate is learning from those experiences and making a concious effort not to let them happen again. And that is the bottom line.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:21 pm

sorry proff lol

i meant it’s colon mrgreen colon…

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
1:23 pm

Prof — That’s my bad. I had the wrong code for that one on my formatting cheat sheet:

http://www.karaokebus.tzo.com/blog_formatting.txt

It’s mrgreen — not green.

Corrected now…

:mrgreen:

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

December 3rd, 2009
1:23 pm

Professor type mrgreen between two colons and that should do it for you.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:24 pm

However, a child should not (potentially) be made to suffer becuase of my laspe in judgemnent

I wholeheartedly agree with that statement, ans ubfortunatley this happens all too many times. But as Proff says, there are adults out there who are adament about working together for the sake of the child even if those individuals decide to seperate.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:24 pm

*and unfortunatley*

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
1:24 pm

Melo Try Starship or Inserection. I’ve never tried them but i’ve seen them at those two spots…oh yeah, even Spencer’s in the mall has them back in the Naughty Section.

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
1:25 pm

Dream send me that code when you email the pics. Now I am going to show you all the faces I can make if I am missing something send me the code.

:smile: :lol: :oops: :cry: :evil: :twisted: :roll: :!: :?: :idea:
:arrow: :green:
:grin:
:sad:
:eek:
:shock:
:???:
:cool:
:mad:
:razz:
:neutral:
:wink: …stepping out brb in 15 minutes or so.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

December 3rd, 2009
1:26 pm

You know what?…I don’t even know why I just posted that b/c I should’ve KNOWN the Swiss one would come thru with the cheat sheet like BAM!…here you go. Good looking out Swiss. :)

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
1:26 pm

Sometimes, I’m left speechless.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
1:26 pm

@Dream/Proff

Given the evidence (just of people you know) what percentage would you attribute that attitude to? Better than 80?

See me, I’m not willing to take those chances, not on behalf of anyone else.

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
1:27 pm

Thanks Sassy :mrgreen: I did not know he was a “Mister” lol

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
1:28 pm

I’m here to serve, Sassy;-) :lol:

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:31 pm

@ Dan

You know what the percentage is very low in my world also, but there are those few diamonds.

And that’s the attitude to have Dan seriously. You may make bad decisions in life, but we should try not to repeat those.

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
1:31 pm

SexyCool, what’s on your mind?

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

December 3rd, 2009
1:38 pm

I’m here to serve

Swiss do you take requests?….

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:39 pm

Professor,

I think you have more than I have (icons)

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
1:40 pm

“Swiss do you take requests?….”

As a matter of fact I do, Sassy. However, now that I’m a married man, all requests must first go through Mrs. Swiss…. ;-)

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
1:44 pm

Raqi – You’ve got mail.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
1:46 pm

Dan starting the golf clap for swiss on that 1:40 clap…clap…clap

Professor

December 3rd, 2009
1:47 pm

Dream,

I used every icon on Swiss cheat sheet :lol:

So what are we talking about now? Where is Whoa we have some unanswered questions still lingering out there? Is Whoa a regular scared to say she slipped up? :mrgreen:

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
1:47 pm

You guys are funny. When I post the cheat sheet, no red carpet for me. When i’m swiss post it, confetti falls from the sky. Never cease to amaze me! :lol: :shock: :lol:

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
1:49 pm

Leggs – you know that happens all the time. One person can post something that elicits no response. Someone else can post the same thought (almost word for word) and it’s like manna.

I just consider it a part of the entertainment.

Professor

December 3rd, 2009
1:52 pm

Correction I used the cheat sheet Leggs posted! I bet Leggs had the right green man code too…tell ‘um Leggs

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
1:52 pm

kimmie in here?

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 3rd, 2009
1:54 pm

@Leggs

Regarding your cheat sheet comment, I was wondering if you or some of the blog ladies can let us in on some of the tricks of the trade and game that women run on guys. I know its always different, but I have a good amount of them that I have heard but am always ready to learn something new. Thanks!

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
1:55 pm

Leggs,babes,take no sweat,pay it no attn..

u no we have plenty ladies in here…

so the cheerleaders wld be female mostly..

but Swiss has that juicy sausage U dont have…..

pple/females graviatae where there is potential fulfillemnt…

Potential..

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
1:55 pm

But see, Leggs, I actually made the cheat sheet & posted it on via my web server at home. So I get props for being a Super Nerd. ;-)

Thank you, Dan, thank you. I particularly enjoy requests that also involve Mrs. Swiss. :lol:

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
1:56 pm

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:57 pm

Did scroll, refresh and land back in highschool?

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
1:57 pm

“but Swiss has that juicy sausage U dont have…..”

Um… Somehow I feel flattered and dirty, all at the same time… :lol:

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
1:58 pm

And thank u Swiss/Slim for answering the candy nikka call..

u 2 guys are my bestest,most colorful, blog friends ever…

I value ur sexual wisdom!

Professor

December 3rd, 2009
1:58 pm

Leggs

Do you agree that it is better than it used to be, as it relates to the cheerleading the men get? Hell we had one blogger that had a fan section when he spoke along with the flower girls from coming to america. I think it is the way people are like Melo said.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
1:59 pm

@Swiss

Wait til he reads the last sentence in 1:55. Prolly shouldn’t have opened that can o worms

Professor

December 3rd, 2009
2:00 pm

Dream…LOL at that 1:57 yes this is Blog High and the mascot is a Jackass! So you are correct…

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
2:01 pm

Dan — Good point. I should probably have clarified that I only take requests from females;-)

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
2:02 pm

Leggs,one more pieace of advice..

smetimes to ellicit a response,u need strategy..thats why I have a niche.

For me,i get a response 90% of the time..
Thunk bout it!

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
2:04 pm

@SCool ~ you’re absolutely right. It’s funny and had to comment on it. Yes indeed, pure d entertainment!

@Melo, no sweating on my part. It cute!

@i’m swiss, ok, you’ve upgraded the cheatsheet! Nerds rock!

@Professor, girl sssshhhh! I am crying over here with the “flower girls from Coming to America. Pure comedy. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
2:04 pm

Hmmm so who’s the jackazz??? :lol: :lol: I kid I kid!!!

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
2:06 pm

Dan, u spoil the fun..ur sense of humor is so subdued.

do u have sexual insecurity??

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
2:06 pm

Melo,

I’m sure Leggs can elicit responses w/out adding sexual ineundos (sp?).. lol

She’s a smart cookie!

Professor

December 3rd, 2009
2:07 pm

Leggs…I wrote that one without cracking a smile, but I am happy it made you laugh! Usually I get the first laugh, but it is cute.

Dream~shall I list some of the blog high students? Most Common Sense, Mr. Nasty, Cutest couple and most likely to succeed after failure?

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
2:07 pm

@Melo ~ you’re niche seems to revolve around sex, creams and squirts. My one niche I’d rather not run in the hole, although I have at times. I don’t always need to elicit a response! But, thanks.

@i’m swiss, reading Melo’s remark about the sausage has left you with the right feeling….flattered and dirty at the same time!

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
2:08 pm

jammin’ 2…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoDHdpfYc9Y

@Whoa
hi mommy! what’s shaken? just get it done! don’t waste anymore VALUABLE time.

jus my .02

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
2:09 pm

Denroy Morgan – I’ll Do Anything for You (1981)

Professor

December 3rd, 2009
2:09 pm

Dream, you better be glad I saw the kidding part I had to hit delete. Whew that was close! You trying to make WD put me out

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
2:09 pm

most likely to succeed after failure?

:mrgreen:

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
2:11 pm

@Melo

Of course I do. I’m human.

But like every other fault: I accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can, and pray to know the difference.

What does that do with my sense of humor?

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
2:11 pm

Professor,

I had to put that to keep myself from being booted..lol. I almost half believed that “I kid” part.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
2:11 pm

flattered and dirty at the same time!

@Leggs

Dan read it diffirently than i did..

My take was that Swiss spoiled his pants,no wonder dirty..

czBrat

December 3rd, 2009
2:11 pm

Denroy Morgan – I’ll Do Anything for You (1981) wow! you just took me back to my first crush :oops:

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
2:11 pm

Prof — Now I’m dying to know… hand out those blog awards! :-)

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
2:12 pm

What does that do with my sense of humor?

see my 2.11

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
2:14 pm

I read it the same way as swiss did, I think.

Still ????

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
2:14 pm

Professor – Im LMAO @ the Blog High students! Most Likely to Succeed After Failure!! HEE-LAR-REE-US!!

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
2:16 pm

@czBrat
comcast channel 708 is the r&b oldies. instead of watching tv, i sit on da couch, listen to some feel good music, and write my heart out.

i love the 80s.

and in the morning getting ready, i’m dancin’ all ova the house. lol.

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
2:17 pm

“My take was that Swiss spoiled his pants,no wonder dirty..”

Well now my pants are spoiled, ‘cos I just laughed so hard I p!$$ed myself… and threw up a little. :lol:

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

December 3rd, 2009
2:19 pm

Well now my pants are spoiled, ‘cos I just laughed so hard I p!$$ed myself… and threw up a little.

Swissyou krazy!! :lol:

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
2:20 pm

@Swiss
r u sure you white?

czBrat

December 3rd, 2009
2:21 pm

ahhh yes, Love. i do my housework to that channel.

Professor

December 3rd, 2009
2:22 pm

Swiss I cannot hand out the awards, but I just peeped in one envelope and it says… the Big Juicy Sausage Award goes toooooooooooooooooooo Mr.Swiss.

I might pass them out on Friday

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
2:23 pm

Dream_n ~ get out of my head…that was good! Thanks

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
2:23 pm

Still ????

@Dan…

see,thats why i said ur sense of humour is subdued..well,maybe not even that..

proly neutered!
coz everybody is laughing but u!

now go there and argue with Dream_n,ur sparring partner :arrow: :lol:

Professor

December 3rd, 2009
2:25 pm

MO/Dream since we are all grown I had to throw in failure. We have heard everyone story so we all know the winners (male and female) for that award.

Another one~Drama of the Year…like album of the year. Who had the most drama in 2009….the award goes to ______________and __________. Y’all shhhhhhh lets hear the acceptance speech.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
2:25 pm

Professor – Awwww dayum! I will miss the awards ceremony?!?! Im off tomorrow….dammit! :smile:

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
2:26 pm

@Melo

I’m not neutered, just heterosexual.

Where I’m from (read: America) only a certain kinda dude make jokes or even references to another dude’s junk.

So, um, yeah I got the joke; it just wasn’t funny and slightly ghey

Professor

December 3rd, 2009
2:26 pm

Mo~ you know I am BET I will have reruns on Monday! So, don’t worry just bring your popcorn

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
2:26 pm

i loves me some african american men, but i wouldn’t mind bumping into a brotha like you. with some flava. i like reading you. a white guy with swag is hard to find.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
2:26 pm

Love, Beautiful – Swiss is White Chocolate, dont you remember? :wink:

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
2:27 pm

@Dan
oh boy!

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
2:28 pm

Mo,

I will inform you of the outcome on Monday… I am in charge of the production of the show.. And trust me it will be unforgettable…

Now who get’s the “Most likely to contract at least 2 diseaes by 2011 again…

Professor~in a silly azz mood

December 3rd, 2009
2:29 pm

Dan where are you from in America? I want to see how they do dat there (in my Master P voice). :mrgreen:

I might get you an award

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
2:29 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
i kid i kid!!!

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
2:32 pm

@Dan

u heterosexual,like Hill Harper..but dont have a girlfriend coz its kinda hard for u to date due to ur busy lyfe.

I thoght wearing male pants and talking male makes u heterosexual

I gues we all need loud speakers now to validate!

HEY IM MALE TOO! :lol:

:lol:

Professor~in a silly azz mood

December 3rd, 2009
2:33 pm

“Most likely to contract at least 2 diseaes by 2011 again…

Dream we finally have a winner!

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
2:34 pm

Leggs

I’m outta here in about 30 min.. I wanna send you pics too!! What’s your email address??

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
2:34 pm

*Swiss is White Chocolate* hehehe. i missed that one!

question to self… will i get wit a white guy or take an interest if he is as phine as Brad but lack swag?

toughy.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
2:36 pm

Dream_n – now please cut out the delay when you re-air the show monday, I want to see everything! LMAO!

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
2:36 pm

@Melo

There you go making assumptions.

Who says I don’t have a girlfriend? I’ve neither confirmed nor denied, for it is not my place to violate someone else’s privacy.

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
2:37 pm

@ladies
has any of you been with a white guy who knew how to put it on ya? i’m curious. cause that’s important.

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
2:38 pm

SexyCool, you got mail.

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
2:38 pm

@Dream ~ you got mail!

czBrat

December 3rd, 2009
2:39 pm

Professor, I’ll catch Monday’s rerun. Should I win anything, please accept in my absence and remember to thank God and my mommy in the speech :)

Dream_n that 2:28 was YIKES!!!

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
2:40 pm

@ Mo..

Done… and there will be a complimentary bag of popcorn waiting for you to enjoy :grin:

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
2:42 pm

I’ve neither confirmed nor denied, for it is not my place to violate someone else’s privacy

ooh please….
but I noiminate u for The Proff blog awards for being technically sound BUT practically confusing.. in that above statement.

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
2:43 pm

Who’s privacy are you violating? You’re at liberty to reveal if you have a gf or not. It’s your privacy. Now, the gf may not care to say whether she’s has you as a bf or not…that’s her privacy.

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
2:44 pm

happy b-day to the Sags!

i remember a couple of years back wishing i was one. this is the first time in a long time loving to be a Cancer. it has its benefits.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
2:44 pm

Dream_n – thanks chica! And like czBrat if I win an award, thank God, Lil Mo and my mama’nem and let Cemeeli throw up some tres for me! :smile:

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
2:45 pm

Some people want it all
But I don’t want nothing at all
If it ain’t you baby
If I ain’t got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain’t got you, Yeah

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
2:46 pm

but I noiminate u for The Proff blog awards for being technically sound BUT practically confusing.. in that above statement.

Melo your comedy should be your niche… :lol:

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
2:48 pm

That was on point, Melo!

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
2:50 pm

I will search for you at the place that sunlight sleeps.
I will wait for you at the spot that the wind stop blowing.
I will listen for you in the space between heartbeats.
I will hold you until the earth passes away.
I will love you as long as the heavens whisper your name.

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
2:51 pm

Melo is really good at pulling you in, twisting yo s* and making you look stupid.

good job darling.

y’all been warned!

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
2:52 pm

Mo/czBrat~ I am still working on some nice categories so for now you guys are NOT winners, but that is a good thing. This is one award you do not want.

now watch some lame azz lurker post some awards on my behalf tomorrow…they better be funny now

Dream, Sr. Production manager get off the blog you know little dream is peeping out the door waiting on the cupcakes!

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
2:54 pm

@Prof
how you know about the blog awards? you ain’t been on here that long.

Dream_n~ Going to go party with the lady of the day!

December 3rd, 2009
2:55 pm

Thank you for all the blog birthday wishes today for the lil lady.

Everyone be safe and smile… It’s not all bad!!!

Night!

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
2:55 pm

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
2:55 pm

@Dream_n/Leggs

Im taking a bow to u VIPs in the front,as the confetti falls down the huge ceiling! :lol:

(lights,cameras flickicking..klakla klakla tata tata tata)))))))))

Lord Velonese (insert trendy quote here)

December 3rd, 2009
2:56 pm

Lord have mercy listening to yall makes glad I’m single.

Dream_n~ Going to go party with the lady of the day!

December 3rd, 2009
2:56 pm

Sr. Production manager

lmao!! you are silly..

I know she’s anxious.. I’m leaving now see above post… :mrgreen:

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
2:59 pm

Love, Beautiful…I know about everything and just because you did not hear me does not mean I was not here

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
2:59 pm

buying my oldest *Hancock* for xmas. we were in target shopping and i seen him from the corner of my eye reading the cover, then telling me later how cool the movie was.

bingo!

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
3:10 pm

@Prof
oh, so you lurked a lot. i can dig it. just didnt remember you from back then. and how in da h3ll did you lurk w/o coming out of lurksville? that would be hard for me . . . to just read w/o wanting to comment or cuss someone out. lol.

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
3:13 pm

Infamous are you here? I would like to ask you a question.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
3:13 pm

good job darling!

I digg that Love!

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
3:14 pm

Beautiful~Well sometimes you don’t feel like talking in these less than meaningful conversations with strangers.

czBrat

December 3rd, 2009
3:14 pm

so for now you guys are NOT winners, but that is a good thing

that is a VERY good thing! considering the nature of the blog, i’d just as soon be a seat warmer instead. :lol:

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
3:16 pm

Cz,yes ma’am now is the time to be a seat warmer or wall flower. Nothing good is going to come if I shine the spot light on you. Swiss got the best award anything else is gutter.

Wise Diva

December 3rd, 2009
3:18 pm

Dan, I am so very late in responding, sorry. I think the common theme is that I don’t show how much I truly like I guy when I should. It takes me a long time realize it, a long time to admit it and then when I do, I act too aloof. In a way, I think I am trying to suss out why the guy is spending time with me, trying to determine if we want the same thing. A lot of guys tell me that I acted like I don’t care

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
3:20 pm

So, we should cower in the corner in order that in hopes that you don’t point out our flaws, mistakes, shortcomings, or what have you whatever they may be.

Girl, quit playin’.

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
3:21 pm

SexyCool, so are you cooking dinner for YD and family for Christmas?

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
3:23 pm

WiseDiva, does it make you feel vulnerable when you show your true feelings for a guy?

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
3:25 pm

*does it make you feel vulnerable when you show your true feelings for a guy?*

i know you didn’t direct this to me, but a big yes!

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
3:25 pm

So, we should cower in the corner in order that in hopes that you don’t point out our flaws, mistakes, shortcomings, or what have you whatever they may be.

Girl, quit playin’.

Is this question for me? If so would hope the person step to the virtual podium and accept the award. Why should they “cower in the corner”? Did they cower in the corner when they put their business on the blog? So no they will wo/man up and be recognized.

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
3:27 pm

why is it that most of you guys have nothing nice to say about this blog but yet you sit here all day and chat? am i the only one who appreciates this room? smdh.

leaving work early to do some shopping. toodles.

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
3:29 pm

“Big Juicy Sausage Award goes toooooooooooooooooooo Mr.Swiss.”

Thanks, Prof. You like me! You really like me! :lol:

Now looking at the trophy wondering how in the h3ll am I going to get this thing to the car with my dignity intact??? :lol:

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
3:30 pm

Ladies If you met a guy that seemed to be cool and you found yourself interested in, BUT he was unable to have kids, how would you proceed? (if you haven’t had any and aren’t opposed to having any but haven’t necessarily stated you DIDN’T want to have any)

Men answer the same question but of course flip the tables to if you met a chick that was unable to have kids..blah blah blah…Would you continue a courtship with her into potential serious r’ship, OR would you just use her as your personal sperm bank since she can’t get preggo anyway? ;-)

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

December 3rd, 2009
3:32 pm

Now looking at the trophy wondering how in the h3ll am I going to get this thing to the car with my dignity intact???

Just hold ya head high and step…if somebody looks at you funny just smile and say “Yes they made it in actual size”….smile again and keep walking.

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
3:32 pm

Slim~I would be okay with his situation. I am open to adoption…

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

December 3rd, 2009
3:38 pm

Slim if I met a man that couldn’t have kids and didn’t want kids then that wouldn’t be an issue for me b/c I don’t plan on having any….well let me re-state that…I said if I didn’t have any before the age of 30 then I wasn’t going to and umm 30 has come and gooone.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
3:39 pm

would you just use her as your personal sperm bank since she can’t get preggo anyway?

we cldnt have kids with my first wife and i really wanted a fam..but what created disharmony was what seemed like her inability or unwillingness to want to take corrective action..it created tension and an unhealthy cohabitation…..shes late so i dont dwell on this stuff that much…

well,i wasnt ready too,mentally..so there is culpabability on both sides..

Im not a Biggie on adoption unless im adopting from my blood fam…

sperm donor wld sound harsh Slim for a serious qstion but i doubt i wld want to continiue without kids….
Now at my age..if Queen walks…yeah,it will be sport all the way! :lol:

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
3:41 pm

random thought why do bloggers tell each other they have an email awaiting? i mean will that person not see their email once they check their email? if you want them to get it instantaneously can you not send an im or better yet call them and say what you want them to read so hurriedly?

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
3:42 pm

Sassy I often wonder if I want to still have one or not. Granted i’m only 31 but I really don’t want to wait too much longer if I do feel that’s something I want to do. If it happens, it happens, if it don’t it don’t

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

December 3rd, 2009
3:46 pm

I totally understand Slim. I was talking to one of me good friends last week and she said if she could do it over whe wouldn’t have any or at least she would’ve done it earlier. Right now she’s 42 with a 16 yr.old and an 8 yr. old.

Wise Diva

December 3rd, 2009
3:47 pm

Raqi, oh yessss, and I don’t do vulnerable well at ALL. I certainly have worked to correct this, though. All I need now is a risk worthy candidate *grin*

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

December 3rd, 2009
3:47 pm

Oops sorry about the errors but you guys get my jist. Read y’all in the merrnin’.

Peace

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
3:47 pm

Raqi – Me? Cooking for Christmas? Whew…………ONLY if TheDude wants me to.

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
3:48 pm

Sassy, are you going to extend the age range from 30 to___?

Wise Diva

December 3rd, 2009
3:48 pm

hey Beautiful, you nailed it with that comment. I am always glad to see participation but I wonder how many comments are misplaced anger from what is going on in someone’s personal life. LOL

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
3:56 pm

Melo what was the ‘corrective action’ that you say she seemed unwillingness to deal with?…if you don’t mind me asking.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
3:57 pm

SlimOne – I could deal with a guy that couldnt have kids, especially since I dont plan on birthing anymore myself

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
3:58 pm

@lurker, some don’t check their personal email accounts everyday. There’s a few on here that will go 2-3 days w/o checking!

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
3:59 pm

How do you find out what your Messenger pin is on your Blackberry?

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
4:00 pm

WiseDiva, I remember being scared to death the first time my marido told me he loved me. I didn’t want to get hurt again and even though he said it first I just…you know. But it’s all good now. LOL

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
4:02 pm

Mo, if he wanted you all to adopt so that you could raise a child together would you do that?

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
4:02 pm

Melo what was the ‘corrective action’

going to the doc to get checked and see if there is need for a medical remedy…

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:03 pm

some don’t check their personal email accounts everyday. There’s a few on here that will go 2-3 days w/o checking!

for real? but some days there are back and forths on responding and replying. like check your mail, wait a while, and the receiver will read and respond for the sender to check their mail. if you get an email wouldn’t it be almost naturally that you’re going to reply? just a random thought but thanks

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
4:05 pm

Yep, why exist to only hurl insults?

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
4:08 pm

lurker…??

it depends on who is doing it man..jesus,why do u care??!!.

when I do it, im marking territory so the other guys on here see who im hitting so they leave her alone! :lol:

(are u lonely..u wanna do email back and forth with me?)

For Real

December 3rd, 2009
4:09 pm

Slim: For Real I want to have a baby

For Real: Huh?

Slim: I said I want to have a baby

For Real: In the frig behind the sardines

Slim: WTF!!! I SAID I WANT TO HAVE A BABY!!!

For Real: Oh okay come on (kiss, suck, lick, pump, pump, pump, kiss, suck, lick, pump, pump, pump)

17.2 second later…..

For Real: Awww Dayum Slim your Cudda Kat is that FEYE! Now all you have to do wait until your next period.

Slim: Cool, Aunt Flo fos-ta-be here in 2wks.

2 weeks later….

Slim: Awww Dayum For Real Aunt Flo here what Imma do

For Real: Take her to see Precious.

Slim: WTF!! Naw boy!!! My period is here and that means I’m not prego. We gon have to do it again.

For Real: Ok come on

Slim: Im on my period!

For Real: I mean you got me kinda started now…

Slim: Ewww you so fuggin nasty

After 37 sexual encounters….

Slim: For Real I think something wrong with sperm.

For Real: Naw it comes out in 17.2 second like it’s suppose to. Hell member last night it came out in record time 4.3 seconds. Hell if my sperm would a top 5 pick if it was football player.

Slim: You actually bragging about how fast you come??

For Real: There are positive in everythang Slim.

Slim: Well why do you think I’m not preggo yet.

For Real: Might have something to do with where I’m from.

Slim: Huh? What the hellz that got to do it?!

For Real: Me and Dan are homeboys.

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
4:09 pm

SexyCool Go to ‘Options’ then go to Status and it shows your pin

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
4:09 pm

Raqi – I have always been open to adoption so yes.

Melo – okay Im confused. You said you couldnt have kids with your first wife but yet she wouldnt take corrective action. If she couldnt have kids what was she supposed to do? OR are you saying she had trouble getting preggo?

For Real

December 3rd, 2009
4:11 pm

“All I need now is a risk worthy candidate” – Wise look behind zipper number 1.

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
4:11 pm

FOR REAL YOUS A FOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:11 pm

jesus,why do u care

why do you care that i care?

when I do it, im marking territory so the other guys on here see who im hitting so they leave her alone!

ummm, okay. whatever your reasons, do you.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
4:16 pm

lurker – You’ve got mail.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
4:17 pm

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:18 pm

jokes on you. which lurker?

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
4:19 pm

Thanks, Slim. Then he tells me that it’s not a Blackberry. It’s a Treo.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
4:21 pm

Come now – you know I was being facetious.

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
4:22 pm

Sexy How in the world do you not know what type of phone you have? lol I love BB’s for the Messenger Network. PING! :-D

CMS

December 3rd, 2009
4:23 pm

I had a woman from my past who had me completely open recently tell me how she had deep feelings for me, but was just scared of how she felt when we briefly dated. I was completely underwhelmed by her words as she quickly dated other people while harboring these phantom deep feelings for me years ago. It could have been special if she was woman enough to get over herself. I heard through a mutual friend that she was open to a possibility of reigniting something between us. But in my opinion the fuse is long gone. Silly rabit.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
4:23 pm

It’s TheDude’s.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
4:23 pm

If she couldnt have kids what was she supposed to do?

she cldnt coz i pumped,for three whole years…..

Nothing..
now u speaking semantics coz having diffcutly and not being able is one and the same thing to me,if u talking about 3 mths or so…then thats having difficulty..3 yrs is inability unless u get checked to prove otherwise

Zulu dont play..on average..

2 hits, a woman i do shld be good. :lol:

I wanted to check that out at the doc,she wldnt want to go…..

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
4:28 pm

@Melo, not every hits their target. Did you think perhaps God felt the two of you together should not be parents! I’m just saying. I two g/f here in Georgia w/me and we’ve been friends since h.s. Two of us have children and the other desperately wants a child but can’t. Doctor says there’s nothing wrong with her nor her husband. My g/f and I believe since her hubby is such an Ahole and a cheat perhaps God has blessed them but not letting them become parents!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
4:29 pm

Melo – LMAO! There are some women who cant BEAR children (i.e lacking or something happening with her reproductive organs) and some women just have problems getting/remaining pregnant (carrying a baby to term, ectopic pregnancies, etc). I was just trying to understand what you were saying was the case.

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
4:30 pm

Melo I wonder if she already knew what her issue was since she wouldn’t want to go to at least find out what the deal was. If it were me, I’d want to know. I would see a man being more hesitant about getting his jewels checked out than a woman.

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:31 pm

Come now – you know I was being facetious.

I know…you guys are a riot

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:32 pm

CMS – silly wabbit makes the both of you. why even mention if you’re so past it? are you getting your ego stroked over this. i’m sure life goes on for her as well. sometimes you men are about as silly the women you the same about

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:33 pm

Come now – you know I was being facetious.

I know…you guys are a riot stupid

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
4:33 pm

SlimOne – I wondered that too, she may have known that she couldnt have kids….or she was doing something to ensure she wouldnt get preggo and didnt want Melo to know. Most women will get checked more willingly than men so that seems odd to me too

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
4:36 pm

Did you think perhaps God felt the two of you together should not be parents
@Leggs
now if u bring Him..im gon let it slide :lol: he calls the shots so maybe,it was meant to be… there is a tricky/drama part to the whole saga but the blog wont hear it….u will

@MO YES u right,there are some woman who cant have kids and i think thats why she didnt want to go have checked fopr 2 reasons:
1 u know some pple dont wanna hear the truf
2 there is a stigma ova there if u cant have kids,worse when u are a man tho.. i was str8(thats the drama part u wont hear) :lol:

i thihnk she didnt want to be ostaracised if we found out the truth..
i dont blame her..we talking 3rd world!

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:36 pm

that’s the problem with us lurkers, can’t ever tell which one came from under the bridge lol

i didn’t say stupid but i can agree some days

CMS

December 3rd, 2009
4:36 pm

Lurker-Why mention it? Because someone introduced it as a subtopic, and I wanted to comment. Is my ego stroked over this? Over what, I’m sort of in the middle of an ongoing conversation? Yes life goes on for every one but tricks are still for kids.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
4:36 pm

Yeah…that too.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
4:39 pm

Melo – Ok, then yes I could see her being VERY hesitant. That sheds a different light on the situation.

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:40 pm

i didn’t say stupid but i can agree some days every day

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
4:40 pm

I can definitely see how it could make one feel, whether male or female, to not be able to reproduce…especially men because they all think their SEEDS are gold. And i’m sure some female in the world has gotten terribly mad at her impotent man and made the mistake of having to pick her face up off the floor cuz she called his Golden seed——-Dog water

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
4:41 pm

@MO ansd Slim

actually,there is a number 3 MO to ur answer..yes,she proly had sme to hide..that was my read altho i wasnt sure..

prior,when we waere dating,she had an op on her tubes…i found out by chance when i visuted her house to find her and her big sister not talking..i inquired as to the reasons,nobody cld tell me altho it related to some female gossip tween them 2 and presumably about sme big sis had said to a friend/sibling etc..not sure.

when we cldnt have kids for 3 yrs, i had a flashback…

that destroyed it!

Ostrasized(sp)4.36

I was str8 ( only LEGGS privy to drama) :lol: killing uall! :lol:

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:43 pm

CMS nothing to get all giddy over. you was open at one time she wasn’t now she is and you ain’t. bad timing. nothing to get hyped over

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:43 pm

4:40 lurker, you funny

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:46 pm

CMS, i hope you ain’t married cause you being open times past, like tiger, don’t count if you already taken. just sayin lol

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
4:46 pm

Stop messing with the residents, Melo!

Apparently quite a few of the lurkers like “stupid.”

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
4:50 pm

LURKER??

mail call!

oh shyt!..do caps on the spell matter? :lol:

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
4:54 pm

Alright Im outta here, ya’ll behave tomorrow and I will read ya’ll monday!!

L8tr!

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
4:54 pm

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:55 pm

Melo yep, that’s a different LURKER lol

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:55 pm

a riot i tell ya

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
4:55 pm

Good night everyone….And This Time, I Too Want It All!!!!!!

“Excuses can be lies packed with rationalization” ~ Dedicated to Mr. Tiger Woods.

Enjoy your evening and stay warm cuz it’s gonna be colder than a witch’s tit!

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