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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

This Time I Want It All

Have you ever taken the time to think about your past relationships to realize what exactly went wrong?  In some cases, I can pinpoint the moment I figured out the person wasn’t right for me, yet it was not the moment I ended things.

When we are single and dating, we are collecting data about who we think is a good fit for us.  It wasn’t until I dated a really impatient man when I decided that patience is something I truly like in a man.  Now that I have been ignored by a “really busy” boyfriend, I can say with certainty that I appreciate the man that has balance and makes time for what is important.

You see where I’m going with this?  We may have endured tough times on the dating scene but it wasn’t a complete waste of time.  We should take all that we have learned about ourselves and other people to make the best choices in selecting a mate.

When it is time and the right person comes along, there will be no settling.  There should be no confusion, apprehension, fear, or trepidation. This is why so many of the married people tell us, “You will know” when we meet the one.

I tell myself that when I make the decision to commit, the guy will have it all. Not just partially right for me, but truly right for me. What would be the point, otherwise?

Do you think that settling is necessary to be with someone?  Is it possible for us to find a person that has everything we want?  Can we expect to have it all or is it a fantasy?  How realistic are we in our expectations?

330 comments Add your comment

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
3:10 pm

@Prof
oh, so you lurked a lot. i can dig it. just didnt remember you from back then. and how in da h3ll did you lurk w/o coming out of lurksville? that would be hard for me . . . to just read w/o wanting to comment or cuss someone out. lol.

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
3:13 pm

Infamous are you here? I would like to ask you a question.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
3:13 pm

good job darling!

I digg that Love!

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
3:14 pm

Beautiful~Well sometimes you don’t feel like talking in these less than meaningful conversations with strangers.

czBrat

December 3rd, 2009
3:14 pm

so for now you guys are NOT winners, but that is a good thing

that is a VERY good thing! considering the nature of the blog, i’d just as soon be a seat warmer instead. :lol:

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
3:16 pm

Cz,yes ma’am now is the time to be a seat warmer or wall flower. Nothing good is going to come if I shine the spot light on you. Swiss got the best award anything else is gutter.

Wise Diva

December 3rd, 2009
3:18 pm

Dan, I am so very late in responding, sorry. I think the common theme is that I don’t show how much I truly like I guy when I should. It takes me a long time realize it, a long time to admit it and then when I do, I act too aloof. In a way, I think I am trying to suss out why the guy is spending time with me, trying to determine if we want the same thing. A lot of guys tell me that I acted like I don’t care

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
3:20 pm

So, we should cower in the corner in order that in hopes that you don’t point out our flaws, mistakes, shortcomings, or what have you whatever they may be.

Girl, quit playin’.

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
3:21 pm

SexyCool, so are you cooking dinner for YD and family for Christmas?

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
3:23 pm

WiseDiva, does it make you feel vulnerable when you show your true feelings for a guy?

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
3:25 pm

*does it make you feel vulnerable when you show your true feelings for a guy?*

i know you didn’t direct this to me, but a big yes!

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
3:25 pm

So, we should cower in the corner in order that in hopes that you don’t point out our flaws, mistakes, shortcomings, or what have you whatever they may be.

Girl, quit playin’.

Is this question for me? If so would hope the person step to the virtual podium and accept the award. Why should they “cower in the corner”? Did they cower in the corner when they put their business on the blog? So no they will wo/man up and be recognized.

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
3:27 pm

why is it that most of you guys have nothing nice to say about this blog but yet you sit here all day and chat? am i the only one who appreciates this room? smdh.

leaving work early to do some shopping. toodles.

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
3:29 pm

“Big Juicy Sausage Award goes toooooooooooooooooooo Mr.Swiss.”

Thanks, Prof. You like me! You really like me! :lol:

Now looking at the trophy wondering how in the h3ll am I going to get this thing to the car with my dignity intact??? :lol:

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
3:30 pm

Ladies If you met a guy that seemed to be cool and you found yourself interested in, BUT he was unable to have kids, how would you proceed? (if you haven’t had any and aren’t opposed to having any but haven’t necessarily stated you DIDN’T want to have any)

Men answer the same question but of course flip the tables to if you met a chick that was unable to have kids..blah blah blah…Would you continue a courtship with her into potential serious r’ship, OR would you just use her as your personal sperm bank since she can’t get preggo anyway? ;-)

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

December 3rd, 2009
3:32 pm

Now looking at the trophy wondering how in the h3ll am I going to get this thing to the car with my dignity intact???

Just hold ya head high and step…if somebody looks at you funny just smile and say “Yes they made it in actual size”….smile again and keep walking.

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
3:32 pm

Slim~I would be okay with his situation. I am open to adoption…

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

December 3rd, 2009
3:38 pm

Slim if I met a man that couldn’t have kids and didn’t want kids then that wouldn’t be an issue for me b/c I don’t plan on having any….well let me re-state that…I said if I didn’t have any before the age of 30 then I wasn’t going to and umm 30 has come and gooone.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
3:39 pm

would you just use her as your personal sperm bank since she can’t get preggo anyway?

we cldnt have kids with my first wife and i really wanted a fam..but what created disharmony was what seemed like her inability or unwillingness to want to take corrective action..it created tension and an unhealthy cohabitation…..shes late so i dont dwell on this stuff that much…

well,i wasnt ready too,mentally..so there is culpabability on both sides..

Im not a Biggie on adoption unless im adopting from my blood fam…

sperm donor wld sound harsh Slim for a serious qstion but i doubt i wld want to continiue without kids….
Now at my age..if Queen walks…yeah,it will be sport all the way! :lol:

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
3:41 pm

random thought why do bloggers tell each other they have an email awaiting? i mean will that person not see their email once they check their email? if you want them to get it instantaneously can you not send an im or better yet call them and say what you want them to read so hurriedly?

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
3:42 pm

Sassy I often wonder if I want to still have one or not. Granted i’m only 31 but I really don’t want to wait too much longer if I do feel that’s something I want to do. If it happens, it happens, if it don’t it don’t

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

December 3rd, 2009
3:46 pm

I totally understand Slim. I was talking to one of me good friends last week and she said if she could do it over whe wouldn’t have any or at least she would’ve done it earlier. Right now she’s 42 with a 16 yr.old and an 8 yr. old.

Wise Diva

December 3rd, 2009
3:47 pm

Raqi, oh yessss, and I don’t do vulnerable well at ALL. I certainly have worked to correct this, though. All I need now is a risk worthy candidate *grin*

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

December 3rd, 2009
3:47 pm

Oops sorry about the errors but you guys get my jist. Read y’all in the merrnin’.

Peace

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
3:47 pm

Raqi – Me? Cooking for Christmas? Whew…………ONLY if TheDude wants me to.

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
3:48 pm

Sassy, are you going to extend the age range from 30 to___?

Wise Diva

December 3rd, 2009
3:48 pm

hey Beautiful, you nailed it with that comment. I am always glad to see participation but I wonder how many comments are misplaced anger from what is going on in someone’s personal life. LOL

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
3:56 pm

Melo what was the ‘corrective action’ that you say she seemed unwillingness to deal with?…if you don’t mind me asking.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
3:57 pm

SlimOne – I could deal with a guy that couldnt have kids, especially since I dont plan on birthing anymore myself

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
3:58 pm

@lurker, some don’t check their personal email accounts everyday. There’s a few on here that will go 2-3 days w/o checking!

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
3:59 pm

How do you find out what your Messenger pin is on your Blackberry?

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
4:00 pm

WiseDiva, I remember being scared to death the first time my marido told me he loved me. I didn’t want to get hurt again and even though he said it first I just…you know. But it’s all good now. LOL

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
4:02 pm

Mo, if he wanted you all to adopt so that you could raise a child together would you do that?

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
4:02 pm

Melo what was the ‘corrective action’

going to the doc to get checked and see if there is need for a medical remedy…

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:03 pm

some don’t check their personal email accounts everyday. There’s a few on here that will go 2-3 days w/o checking!

for real? but some days there are back and forths on responding and replying. like check your mail, wait a while, and the receiver will read and respond for the sender to check their mail. if you get an email wouldn’t it be almost naturally that you’re going to reply? just a random thought but thanks

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
4:05 pm

Yep, why exist to only hurl insults?

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
4:08 pm

lurker…??

it depends on who is doing it man..jesus,why do u care??!!.

when I do it, im marking territory so the other guys on here see who im hitting so they leave her alone! :lol:

(are u lonely..u wanna do email back and forth with me?)

For Real

December 3rd, 2009
4:09 pm

Slim: For Real I want to have a baby

For Real: Huh?

Slim: I said I want to have a baby

For Real: In the frig behind the sardines

Slim: WTF!!! I SAID I WANT TO HAVE A BABY!!!

For Real: Oh okay come on (kiss, suck, lick, pump, pump, pump, kiss, suck, lick, pump, pump, pump)

17.2 second later…..

For Real: Awww Dayum Slim your Cudda Kat is that FEYE! Now all you have to do wait until your next period.

Slim: Cool, Aunt Flo fos-ta-be here in 2wks.

2 weeks later….

Slim: Awww Dayum For Real Aunt Flo here what Imma do

For Real: Take her to see Precious.

Slim: WTF!! Naw boy!!! My period is here and that means I’m not prego. We gon have to do it again.

For Real: Ok come on

Slim: Im on my period!

For Real: I mean you got me kinda started now…

Slim: Ewww you so fuggin nasty

After 37 sexual encounters….

Slim: For Real I think something wrong with sperm.

For Real: Naw it comes out in 17.2 second like it’s suppose to. Hell member last night it came out in record time 4.3 seconds. Hell if my sperm would a top 5 pick if it was football player.

Slim: You actually bragging about how fast you come??

For Real: There are positive in everythang Slim.

Slim: Well why do you think I’m not preggo yet.

For Real: Might have something to do with where I’m from.

Slim: Huh? What the hellz that got to do it?!

For Real: Me and Dan are homeboys.

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
4:09 pm

SexyCool Go to ‘Options’ then go to Status and it shows your pin

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
4:09 pm

Raqi – I have always been open to adoption so yes.

Melo – okay Im confused. You said you couldnt have kids with your first wife but yet she wouldnt take corrective action. If she couldnt have kids what was she supposed to do? OR are you saying she had trouble getting preggo?

For Real

December 3rd, 2009
4:11 pm

“All I need now is a risk worthy candidate” – Wise look behind zipper number 1.

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
4:11 pm

FOR REAL YOUS A FOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:11 pm

jesus,why do u care

why do you care that i care?

when I do it, im marking territory so the other guys on here see who im hitting so they leave her alone!

ummm, okay. whatever your reasons, do you.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
4:16 pm

lurker – You’ve got mail.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
4:17 pm

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
4:18 pm

jokes on you. which lurker?

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
4:19 pm

Thanks, Slim. Then he tells me that it’s not a Blackberry. It’s a Treo.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
4:21 pm

Come now – you know I was being facetious.

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
4:22 pm

Sexy How in the world do you not know what type of phone you have? lol I love BB’s for the Messenger Network. PING! :-D

CMS

December 3rd, 2009
4:23 pm

I had a woman from my past who had me completely open recently tell me how she had deep feelings for me, but was just scared of how she felt when we briefly dated. I was completely underwhelmed by her words as she quickly dated other people while harboring these phantom deep feelings for me years ago. It could have been special if she was woman enough to get over herself. I heard through a mutual friend that she was open to a possibility of reigniting something between us. But in my opinion the fuse is long gone. Silly rabit.