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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

This Time I Want It All

Have you ever taken the time to think about your past relationships to realize what exactly went wrong?  In some cases, I can pinpoint the moment I figured out the person wasn’t right for me, yet it was not the moment I ended things.

When we are single and dating, we are collecting data about who we think is a good fit for us.  It wasn’t until I dated a really impatient man when I decided that patience is something I truly like in a man.  Now that I have been ignored by a “really busy” boyfriend, I can say with certainty that I appreciate the man that has balance and makes time for what is important.

You see where I’m going with this?  We may have endured tough times on the dating scene but it wasn’t a complete waste of time.  We should take all that we have learned about ourselves and other people to make the best choices in selecting a mate.

When it is time and the right person comes along, there will be no settling.  There should be no confusion, apprehension, fear, or trepidation. This is why so many of the married people tell us, “You will know” when we meet the one.

I tell myself that when I make the decision to commit, the guy will have it all. Not just partially right for me, but truly right for me. What would be the point, otherwise?

Do you think that settling is necessary to be with someone?  Is it possible for us to find a person that has everything we want?  Can we expect to have it all or is it a fantasy?  How realistic are we in our expectations?

330 comments Add your comment

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
12:08 pm

Yes, yes thunda thighs…LOL that is still funny. Go on Lil Mo, with the chicks waiting on him. That is too cute. Did Lil Mo get your dimples, I bet he is so cute?

Luvbug…the crying Indian made we want to cry. There was this letter that used to be in the reptile section on the wall at Zoo Atlanta…every time I read that letter that the Indian Chief sent to the President would make me get all full inside. I need to find a copy of that letter and have it framed and placed in my house.

Whoa!

December 3rd, 2009
12:08 pm

Wonderwoman

December 3rd, 2009
12:10 pm

Wow, to have a 5year old…that was a good age. Still sweet, not too babyshish, but so simple. My daughter is 9 in 3rd grade, and I think she slipped and fell on her head cuz she is trippin this school year. They go through so many phases!

Whoa!

December 3rd, 2009
12:10 pm

A guy from my past took one look at my child and told me he might be the father. Im beside myself.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
12:14 pm

Professor – Thanks! I have to still laugh at that too. Lil Mo was so sincere..”you know mommy, she’s fat, has a face and has thunda thighs”…LMBAO! And yeah he has mommy’s smile! :smile:

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
12:14 pm

MO/Proff/Dream..seems its a common trait with kids round that age..my 4 yr old sone stresses on doing stuff himself too,no help needed.

And like urs MO,he has a lil girl at school thats his best buddy,the teachers even asked me bout it..But he says,”shes not my girlfriend,just my friend”
Yu buy him some at Mcdonals,he wants a toy for his lil budy at school too,talk about,”hw about Kanaee”"…
Now if dude attracts girls like that when he gets to middle school,im in trouble! :lol:

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
12:18 pm

Melo

You might have a young stallion on your hands.. :lol:

@Wonderwoman.. that’s so true. I know I’m in for many more phases as she gets older.

Whoa!

December 3rd, 2009
12:19 pm

Not going to trip. I know I wasnt with him at that time. He is going to purchase the D.N.A home kit. I feel terrible.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
12:19 pm

and Mo, that was funny..

Thunder thighs.. I’m still laughing.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
12:22 pm

@Whoa! I feel terrible??

feel terrible why?..just confront the dude who dont know yet he got a new kid…

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
12:23 pm

You don’t know who your child’s father is? Really?

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
12:23 pm

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 3rd, 2009
12:26 pm

reading that Not One time did WD say what she did in the reklationship.. Only that the person was not right for her.. Thats not being accountable or taking responsibility for your part in the demise of the relationship.. Because it takes two to build or kill a relationship.

Whoa!

December 3rd, 2009
12:26 pm

Im 99% sure of who his father is. The fact that he put this in my mind and making me think that there may be a possibility thats where the 1% comes from.

Whoa!

December 3rd, 2009
12:30 pm

I know it’ll be fine. No worries.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 3rd, 2009
12:31 pm

Dream_n – it took EVA-THANG in me not to holla with laughter when he said that! I was like :shock: ! LOL!

Melo – now Lil Mo isnt looking out for the lil ladies but they sho’ takes good care of him. He pays it no attention! But he had one lil friend that was a dead ringer for my sister at that age, I almost passed out when I saw that child. He really did pay her attention and she isnt at his school this year. :sad:

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
12:32 pm

LMBO

Okay. It’s cold out there.

3 shots, one cranky 19 lbs. baby.

My favorite pharmacist is leaving the location where I shop.

Raqi

December 3rd, 2009
12:33 pm

Whoa, if you know you were not with him during the time of conception why the 1% doubt?

For Real

December 3rd, 2009
12:34 pm

“A guy from my past took one look at my child and told me he might be the father. Im beside myself.” – Dayum I bet the dude with the burnt beard is interested in that DNA test too.

Wise: After reading your post you failed to mention your contribution to the failed relationships. You only mentioned that they were not right for you. Now do you want us to believe out of all of the relationship you have had “they were always” not right for you and that your relationship did not end because you were not right for them? Can I get at least a spoon full of accountability from you?

Whoa!

December 3rd, 2009
12:37 pm

I cant remember how long it was between him and the real father. I truly believe around two months.

Wise Diva

December 3rd, 2009
12:42 pm

If you have read my past entries, I always address my bad choices, behavior, and I show the lessons that I have learned in them. My accountability IS important, which I feel I have written about ad nauseum before. It was not omitted in an attempt to spin it as if I am a perfect flawless individual with no personal responsibility.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
12:43 pm

@Whoa!

And both encounters were unprotected?

Dan now looking for the Lysol/spermicide – just in case

I’m kidding, but not really.

Luvbug

December 3rd, 2009
12:43 pm

Im 99% sure of who his father is

Besides this guy, is there some other guy walking around 100% sure he’s the father?

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
12:44 pm

@WD

The question is: do you keep making the same bad choices and behaviors in these relationships?

If you were honest, or could ask the dudes, what do you think the common theme would be?

Love, Beautiful

December 3rd, 2009
12:44 pm

*It was not omitted in an attempt to spin it as if I am a perfect flawless individual with no personal responsibility.*

i love this. gonna have to steal . . . i mean save for future use.

Leggs

December 3rd, 2009
12:44 pm

WOW, I can’t even imagine havin that 1% in my mind. That’s why I never believed in double teaming!

@Dream_n, yes indeed going on 16. I’m blessed cuz she really is a good girl with just a lil mouf.

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
12:45 pm

Whoa~who does the baby look like (a) 99% or (b) 1%? Are you married to 99%? I am trying to see if you can get the hookup on child support from both :shock:

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
12:47 pm

I cant remember how long it was between him and the real father. I truly believe around two months.

Did your baby come early or late????

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 3rd, 2009
12:49 pm

Whoa! – If you were 99% sure you wouldnt be out here freaking out.. Come on with the jokes.. Something you did in the dark is coming to light.. You thought you could take this one to your grave..

Luvbug

December 3rd, 2009
12:53 pm

How old is the child?

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
12:56 pm

Dan,

Was that you that mention raw dogging yesterday?

~Whoa I think a DNA test is in order.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
12:57 pm

@Prof

Yes, as in “who still does this”?

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
12:57 pm

Professor..

Don’t worry about Dan and his people..lol
Cause men don’t rawdog where he comes from!

Right Dan :wink:

lurker

December 3rd, 2009
12:58 pm

this is so dang funny on a daily. i keep this site up and rolling all the time so i can laugh laugh laugh while i work. ha-la-ree-us, not sure about yo baby’s daddy.

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
1:00 pm

I am trying to see if you can get the hookup on child support from both

u silly Proff :lol:

I think Whoa flunk the test.When dude asked for the DNA test,she shlkd have just went into a rage….

Dude would have cowed and forgot about it…

See,ladies,smetimes in ur eagerness not to dissappointy a good dude, u go soft and look like a door mat instead.

Guys get into a rage everytime the woman gets them for smething.

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
1:01 pm

I try really hard to not be hypocritical with the sht that I post or lie or project a persona that is not who I am. I think I do pretty good most of the time.

But sometimes….just sometimes…

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
1:03 pm

@DreamN

That’s riiight!

I don’t have children outside of marriage. I don’t deal in BMD. I have a few friends that have followed that model.

SlimOne

December 3rd, 2009
1:06 pm

Prof that was me who mentioned the rawdoggin. Dan said they don’t do that where he comes from. In Dan’s hometown, dudes are born with condoms already on. LOL! (Dan, you know i lub you)

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
1:07 pm

who wants to buy me lernch today and i return the fav on friday..so hungry and broke??
I aint broke broke,but im broke today
ladies only..

SexyCool - Loves Orange LifeSavers, too.

December 3rd, 2009
1:08 pm

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
1:09 pm

Y’all buggin’,

but it’s logic. What’s cheaper, the box of condoms, the baby, or the lawyer?

Real quick decision for me most times

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
1:11 pm

:lol: Thanks, Whoa! I was just starting to get sleepy over here…

Melo — I know there must be some questions you want to ask Whoa!;-)

Ahhh, I can always count on MIA to keep me entertained. ;-)

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:11 pm

@ Dream

lol.. I could’ve bet you a million bucks you were going to go in that direction. No children out of wed lock.. High 5!
But I bet you still have sex outside of that union.. come on folks kill me with that.

Now if you have 3 or 4 different kids outside of wedlock with 3 or 4 different men. Then that may get a side eye. That means that you have not learned anything.

As for the BMD.. why do people associate.. Being a single parent with drama???

( :mrgreen: .. it’s all in good humor though Dan, please don’t take this too seriously.. it’s okay to welcome a couple of laughs into your life)

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:12 pm

opps @ Dan.. lol

Melo

December 3rd, 2009
1:13 pm

Qstion i always want to ask Swiss/slimone etc and i forget only to remember when i get home and WD has closed the office door…

anywhere i can get edible/candy/lickable nikkas for a female.Like at the sex shop or sme..wld they have that??

If its a set,edible bras and undies,even better..!!!

Please chime in my lady slut friends as well..

thnking bout taking this to some level i neva been tooo..ever! :lol:

Lernch calls! :lol:

i'm swiss

December 3rd, 2009
1:16 pm

“anywhere i can get edible/candy/lickable nikkas for a female.Like at the sex shop or sme..wld they have that??”

I believe Fredrick’s of Hollywood has edible undies. At least they used to. Uh, allegedly. :lol:

Professor~in for a minute

December 3rd, 2009
1:18 pm

Slim,

Born with condoms…Funny as hell!

Dream, You know folks bump and grind outside of the union :grin: BTW I can never make the green face…let me try it again :green: :green:

Oh yea even if I had a baby I would not have the drama! Two mature people can work things out for the child and put their feelings aside.

Dan

December 3rd, 2009
1:19 pm

@Dreams

To answer your question, life experience (the BMD).

Of course I have sex outside the union of marriage, I’m not beholden to that concept (plus, have you seen me?). However, a child should not (potentially) be made to suffer becuase of my laspe in judgemnent.

Having to deal with somma of the things friends and family have regarding kids and lost love, I’da been under the jail.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:21 pm

it’s :mrgreen:

Proff!!!

Now I’m not saying it was the best decision. What I do advocate is learning from those experiences and making a concious effort not to let them happen again. And that is the bottom line.

Dream_n~ Soaring above the Fray

December 3rd, 2009
1:21 pm

sorry proff lol

i meant it’s colon mrgreen colon…