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Boyfriends are NOT recyclable

Recycling may be great for the environment but it can do major damage on your love life.  Against our better judgments, we sometimes return to old flames and rekindle a romance.  Sometimes it’s for nostalgia’s sake, other times it’s out of loneliness.  A lot of people seriously consider it for the sake of the children.

I wish I could say that it worked for me but it hasn’t, ever. I tried.  Like, three times…with the same guy.  Yeah no, I don’t recommend it at all. Maybe I’m in the minority, though.  Is it ever a good idea to reunite with someone from your past? Isn’t it so so tempting to do so?  Especially when old feelings haven’t completely faded away; or worse they come barreling towards you after a random sighting.

Have you ever gotten back together with a former wife/husband/ or former significant other? If so, how did it work out?  What drew you back to the person?

How long does it usually take before you remember the exact reason you two broke up the first time? In my case, my ex would come back around and pursue me, claiming to have changed.  He said all the right things that I wanted him to say before we broke up.  It wasn’t long before we were back to the same arguments and personality clashes that broke us up.

Would you ever try to win someone back? Do you think someone from your past could show up and convince you to give it another go? What is the statue of limitations on old relationships? More importantly, who can I petition to get it shortened!!?

303 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™ - Sagittitarians ROCK

December 2nd, 2009
8:23 am

Just doing a drive by “what’s up” and wishing Staceye a very happy birthday!!! Sagittarian’s rule the world! :P

‘K Bye!

Dan

December 2nd, 2009
8:32 am

And a happy birfday to Staceye!! (and she better come on and say thanks)

What up Red?

Professor

December 2nd, 2009
9:04 am

Wassup AmazonRED! It is always good to see you on the blog! You should change that moniker you know it is the Capricorns that ROCK…lol!

Happy Birthday Staceye

On Topic: I never rewind or backtrack, but I have done it twice once it worked out and once it did not. The time that it worked out I believe it worked out because we had a solid foundation and the problems we had were due to other things.

ImAPeach404

December 2nd, 2009
9:06 am

Morning all

Not a lot to say on the topic but I did want to say thanks to all those who offered feedback yesterday. I got slammed with work and couldn’t keep up any longer :)

Melo

December 2nd, 2009
9:35 am

Happy birhtday Staceye!!

Hey Ared/Proff/Leggs/blogsville!!!!!!!!!

So G N N is reliable, haa,now u know… have a new Mayor..

Told u so Raqi/DK!!

Old old dear friend, turned flame back to friend…yea did that…

sex was bad,our relationship is still good!
Just Blaaaaaahhhhhhh!

No advice here..

Hey pple!!

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 2nd, 2009
9:42 am

“Is it ever a good idea to reunite with someone from your past? Isn’t it so so tempting to do so? ”

I really dont think this is a good idea. My ex is trying to get back in the picture and I am really not up for this.

This is never really a good idea because there is always a possibility that the old them will show up and you will remember exactly why you two broke up. All it takes is that first disagreement. Kind of like how you know the old Ike Turner is going to show up. Its just a matter of when.

I think with the holiday’s coming up, people seek that comfort from any SO even if it is an ex. People like familiarity vs the unknown and all the work of trying to make it work with someone new.

“Would you ever try to win someone back?”

I really would not try to win someone back. We are all adults and dont have time to chase someone around. I would just state my intentions, and if she is interested in getting back together, cool, but as far as me jumping through hoops and doing tricks to stroke your ego…not interested…

Luvbug

December 2nd, 2009
9:56 am

Have you ever gotten back together with a former wife/husband/ or former significant other? If so, how did it work out?

Yes, I have. It didn’t work out – he was actually worse than he had been before. It was at least 10 years later and I made a reasonable assumption that people develop upward. It wasn’t a long tryst. I had no expectations, so it was easy to drop.

How long does it usually take before you remember the exact reason you two broke up the first time?

Not much time at all. For whatever reason, he felt I was doing okay financially and decided to ask me for money, to which I replied…If you’d like to make a call please hang up…you know the rest…not picking up.

Don’t get me wrong, we were friends and all, but I’d never had a guy ask me to loan him money…especially not him. He’d become so different.

Do men ask women for money!? Is that okay?

I’ve always felt men ask men or get another job or something. Now I’ve paid for an outing or two when in a relationship or when I knew my guy was in a transition financially, but ask to borrow money straight out (in a not exclusively dating and not waiting for your call relationship)…I don’t know what to think of that.

SexyCool - Loves Red LifeSavers.

December 2nd, 2009
9:57 am

Three Words Daily – Look before leaping.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 2nd, 2009
10:00 am

I think it could work cause they would be getting a better man now.. I have gone thru some thangs and the pressure turned me into a diamond.. Im more capable now to listen and work at it as before I was into replacing Babes if they werent in line with what I thought they should be in line with.. Its not all about me anymore.. After having a child I understand sacrifice.. After going thru a divorce I understand patience, perseverance and communication.. Im a better dude now than I was and would make any one of my EXs a great dude because the things we clashed about are the things Ive truly changed.. Now the flipside of that would have to be that they have grown also..

SexyCool - Loves Red LifeSavers.

December 2nd, 2009
10:06 am

Tried it. Didn’t work for me.
(Second time posting this.)

Raqi...Seeking Residence Outside of Atlanta

December 2nd, 2009
10:07 am

As for reuniting with exes, I have seen some situations work and others that didn’t. It’s a true saying that some things are just meant to be and some aren’t. My closest and dearest friend has been with her husband nearly 20 years now and they split after the first 5 years just to reunite a year later. It’s been good for them.

I know of one other relationship that was off and on for many years and was just toxic. They are no good for each other. Thankfully she is with someone much better now.

SexyCool - Loves Red LifeSavers.

December 2nd, 2009
10:13 am

Ali – I like you.
(Second time posting THIS.)

Dan

December 2nd, 2009
10:18 am

@DK

Mayne I feel you on growing (sometimes it takes isht to develop a different perspective).

But for going back, not I. When the proposition was made by my last gf, I really thought about it. But when the underlying reasons don’t change, it’s more about comfort and familiarity than anything.

And Mdot hit it on the head, not going through Olympian trials for another shot at something that didn’t work first time out.

Dream_n--1 day until lil dreams bday

December 2nd, 2009
10:21 am

Good Morning

Can’t really contribute much to this topic….

I think its up to each individual. There are instances where a reunion could work out if both parties have worked on the differences that seperated them in the first place.

Then it would be a diaster if both parties just haven’t changed….

Leggs

December 2nd, 2009
10:28 am

Happy Birthday, Lil Sis!

Don’t believe in retracing much of anything!

Raqi...Seeking Residence Outside of Atlanta

December 2nd, 2009
10:31 am

I agree with sometimes people grow up and do change for the better. The about relationships is no one was born knowing all the right things to do and you don’t learn it all from the relationship entertained.

We have to live and learn. Life experiences are the best teachers. They help learn about ourselves and help us learn about others and how we should treat them. As well as what we should allow to be fired in our direction.

Sometimes the things we do to someone can prep to be a better mate for someone else. Sometimes things done to and by us can lead us to be that perfect mate for other. And then there are times we some run full circle and find themselves back with a former and they both being better than before.

Dream_n--1 day until lil dreams bday

December 2nd, 2009
10:39 am

And I’m a believer in change. People can change for the better. People learn from their mistakes all the time.

I can’t continue to hold someone accountable for being a cheater in their teen or early 20’s when he/she is now 30 or 35 and has learned the value of self control.

Would I ever go back to my ex????

I can day No now, but what about 10 or even 20 years down the line. He may become a changed peron. So I don’t necessarily think its a bad thing if you decide to go back to a previous lover. As long as you guys are taking steps in the healthy direction..

Raqi...Seeking Residence Outside of Atlanta

December 2nd, 2009
10:40 am

“…you don’t learn it all from the FIRST relationship entertained.”

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 2nd, 2009
10:40 am

Morning Every1!

I’ve only backtracked once and while I dont regret that I wouldnt backtrack again. I just dont see the point. I honestly feel like it would be forced and that isnt fair to myself or the former SO.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 2nd, 2009
10:43 am

Dan – It would totally have to be something that we just flowed into.. It would not be any extra on nobody’s behalf.. It would happen like a conversation here and there and letting the sparks turn into a flame.. Because even though ya’ll didnt work both of ya’ll played a part in the demise of the relationship.. Thats whats sooo funny people cam point the finger like “I wouldnt take them back unless theyve changed” but what about you.. Im sure that person has an axe to grind also..

Dan

December 2nd, 2009
10:44 am

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 2nd, 2009
10:48 am

Tiger is sooo Busted..

Raqi...Seeking Residence Outside of Atlanta

December 2nd, 2009
10:49 am

It would happen like a conversation here and there and letting the sparks turn into a flame

Infamous, that there IMO is probably the best way for any relationship to start. Instead of forcing it, let it happen naturally.

Raqi...Seeking Residence Outside of Atlanta

December 2nd, 2009
10:53 am

Tiger Woods’ wife tried to beat the snot out of him because this is not his first offense. I bet he didn’t know when he was teaching her the proper way to hold and swing a club he would one day have that perfected swing aiming at his head.

Dan

December 2nd, 2009
10:55 am

@Raqi

It’s like teaching a woman to swing a bat or shoot a gun in self defense….eventually you may have armed her with the tools for your own destruction.

Dream_n--1 day until lil dreams bday

December 2nd, 2009
10:55 am

No DK

And that’s where I have to respectively disagree. With my ex, I learned that he was a very angry/tempermental person. Sometimes you can do all you can for a person and that person can still be a complete ahole. I’m not saying I’m perfect by any means, but the most he could prolly complain about is the arguements, where I spit out his faults at him. And DK those arguements derived from his anger. He is an older guy, and looking back he wanted to have control over me. Now there are things about myself that I would seek to change, such as the mind set I had thinking that what I was in was okay, but as far as my actions towards him minus his anger. I was damn good.

and you know what, even though it’s only been a couple of weeks. He’s regretting what he’s put me through/what I allowed him to put me through. Every night I’m getting a phone call for him to just say I love you and goodnight. Not evryone treats their mate bad. There are some REALLY good women out there DK.. Trust me.

Raqi...Seeking Residence Outside of Atlanta

December 2nd, 2009
10:59 am

Yeah Dan, Mason is going to teach me how to properly shoot a gun. I hope I never have to show him how good of a teacher he is. LOL

Leggs

December 2nd, 2009
11:01 am

The media is about to rake Tiger over the coals!

Leggs

December 2nd, 2009
11:01 am

@Dan/Raqi ~ yep yep!

Dream_n--1 day until lil dreams bday

December 2nd, 2009
11:02 am

That voicemail that, the Jamey (jamie) chick received from Tiger, is incrminating enough.

Leggs

December 2nd, 2009
11:03 am

The media has been sitting and waiting for him to slip up. He was the one celebrity that everyone loved, but I guess he believed his own hype – now look!

SexyCool - Loves Red LifeSavers.

December 2nd, 2009
11:05 am

I’m giving Tiger a pass (mostly because I’m not married to him). Hell, er’body makes mistakes.

Dan

December 2nd, 2009
11:05 am

And see:

This (TW episode) is what I mean when I talk about role models.

For good and (usually) bad I got training in stuff like this. Simple conversations that don’t have to be hallmark moments, just a sentence – “if you cheat, never admit it”. Subliminal stuff like that.

It’s just sad that these life lessons aren’t being shared anymore.

Wonderwoman

December 2nd, 2009
11:08 am

I have always been the type that once I have resolved my feelings for a ex, there is no going back. So far I have not gotten back with any ex’s. BUTTTT…in recent months I re-connected with my very first beau from high school. And from talks with him, has made me wonder the very question WD is asking.

The situation is tempting to pursue a relationship but we decided to just be friends bc he is in another state, and neither one of us likes long distances relationships.

Ohhh I’m reminscing now…what if!!!

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 2nd, 2009
11:08 am

Dream – Im not saying there arent good women out there.. What Im saying is no one is perfect and Im sure if I talked to your EX he would have a few things to say about you. Seriously reading you You come across as youre above the fray.. Your conversation most times denotes your age so him being older could have had a problem with that.. I dunno. Im not attacking you Im just stating that not even you are perfect. When people are so quick to throw the EX under the bus makes me pay attention to them more because that denotes denial and the victim mentality..

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 2nd, 2009
11:11 am

Dream – Thats him now cause he doesnt want to lose you but once he faces the fact that youre gone and has a moment of clarity the truth will be out there. So he’s gonna call and try to get you back..

Raqi...Seeking Residence Outside of Atlanta

December 2nd, 2009
11:13 am

In line with the topic, I am trying to think of the one man that if I was not in a relationship now that I would not mind revisiting a relationship.

The only one that I would even dare to consider is the one man that I never had an intimate encounter with. It never got there, but his personality reminds me a lot of my husband. That’s probably why he would be the only one. I like what I have now with my marido.

Mason and I broke up a few times but it was never for an extended amount of time. We were talking to some friends one day and he says that we didn’t break up, I just stop talking to him. LOL If he “spoke” to any other women while I was not talking to him that’s on me. LOL

Leggs

December 2nd, 2009
11:13 am

Well, InfamousDK, I will throw my ex under the bus anyday. As for me, I may let one of the wheels roll over me. He gets all 4. (LOL)!

I’ve been laughing all morning. Wasn’t yesterday’s topic about men cheat. Why is is to hard for married men to keep their rubbery penises in their pants!?!

SlimOne

December 2nd, 2009
11:14 am

What did the message say on the voicemail? I haven’t been able to check it out yet

Raqi...Seeking Residence Outside of Atlanta

December 2nd, 2009
11:14 am

Yeah Leggs, he is just too pretty and perfect for some. They been waiting on him. LOL

Melo

December 2nd, 2009
11:14 am

Is Tiger a Republican??
If he is,hes in trouble,if not,ooh well,its expected. :lol:

Dan

December 2nd, 2009
11:17 am

Melo

December 2nd, 2009
11:17 am

Slimone..go to espn….

Raqi...Seeking Residence Outside of Atlanta

December 2nd, 2009
11:17 am

SexyCool, yeah none of us are beyond making mistakes but I think it’s a matter of he finally got caught. From what I heard on the radio there is more than one women that has come forth.

I don’t doubt that his wife had probably given him a warning before this incident.

Melo

December 2nd, 2009
11:19 am

For good and (usually) bad I got training in stuff like this

Dan??

are u conducting training lessons to pass on that cheating knowledge?? I will sign on if the fee is reasonable :lol:

Leggs

December 2nd, 2009
11:19 am

That was suppose to read: Why is it so hard….

Leggs

December 2nd, 2009
11:20 am

@SlimOne ~ it said please remove your name from your phone because my wife is checking my msgs. (LOL)!

Dan

December 2nd, 2009
11:21 am

@DK

Again, on this we agree.

One of my conversations when dating is about the ex’s and her relationship with her dad. As for the ex’s I listen for “I” MUCH more than “he” (or “she” it is ‘09).

The lack of accepting personal responsibility for one’s own actions is an annoyance of mine, and as stated yesterday I’m selective about who is allowed within my life.

Wonderwoman

December 2nd, 2009
11:22 am

Poor Tiger, that image tarnished. He’s not that squecky clean as people thought. The endorsements will they go or will they let it slide!

Dan

December 2nd, 2009
11:24 am

@Melo

The “training” is something I no longer use. I only remembered because of this incident.

However, I could jot down a few things for the reasonable price of $24.99.