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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Bad Romance

It doesn’t matter how many times Lady Gaga sings it, being caught in a bad romance is like being stuck on a broken carousel being operated by an evil clown. The worst part of it is that we willingly hop on the ride and subject ourselves to the vicious cycle of drama.

You know what they say, the first step is admitting you have a problem. So admit it.  The bad romances you end up with is partly because you are attracting what you are putting out there.  When you have low self-esteem, lack confidence and believe that you don’t deserve better, you don’t get any better. This shows in the choices you make in people that you let occupy your mental space and time.

I was guilty of doing this and it wasn’t until I figured out how great I am  (no, seriously I was slow to realize it) that I started to discover what it was like to date someone else who is great. I had to go through too many bad romances but you don’t have to!

First, how do you define a bad romance? How do you know when it’s bad? It may sound like a strange question but a lot of times we don’t know until it’s too late how bad it is.

Second, how do you get off the cycle of bad romances? What has worked for you?

Third, once you are in a good position to find a good romance, how do you avoid messing it up?  There are definitely some adjustments to be made when you are so used to the bad romances from your past. When it is good, relaxing into it and keeping the drama at bay could be challenging but not impossible.

Getting off the bad romance carousel before 2010? Yes, please! Let’s Discuss

322 comments Add your comment

Professor

December 1st, 2009
12:56 pm

Melo I agree I was cheering for Brady, and the Saints Brees right through him. As much as I dislike the Saints they are headed to the superbowl…hopefully they will fumble there.

Leggs…you better to give her the tough love now! I hate to see folks make a fool of themselves in the name of love. If you make a fool out yourself in the name of love don’t keep sitting in the dummy chair

i'm swiss

December 1st, 2009
12:57 pm

Did someone say booty? Melo…? What did I miss? :lol:

RE: Peach’s talking (or lack thereof) dilemma… I think the blog dudes have pretty well summed it up. Guys just don’t like to talk as much as chics. It’s not that we don’t like you, or don’t enjoy talking to you, it’s just that we’re not wired to verbally dissect every minute detail of our lives.

I can’t remember who said it, but I heard a quote somewhere that I think sums it up very nicely from a guy’s perspective: “Intimacy is when you can both shut the h3ll up for a minute an comfortably enjoy silence” :lol:

Dream_n

December 1st, 2009
1:04 pm

it’s just that we’re not wired to verbally dissect every minute detail of our lives

I’m going to leave that one alone :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dan

December 1st, 2009
1:07 pm

@Swiss

Yeah, I’d change that minute to more time.

But there is NOTHING like a comfortable silence.

i'm swiss

December 1st, 2009
1:08 pm

What’s wrong, Dream — did I say something bad? Do I need to don a blog vest? :lol:

See, yet another reason why we don’t like to talk that much — when we do, we end up saying sh!t that gets us in trouble… :lol:

i'm swiss

December 1st, 2009
1:12 pm

Sorry for the confusion, Dan — I meant minute as in extremely small, not as in the time interval. Sucks how inflection doesn’t come across in text…

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
1:13 pm

Yeah its a bad day cause if the Aints get a superbowl before the falcons.. Its gonna be heck to pay.. Tampa Bay already got one but dang Falcons get it together..

Dream_n--2 days until lil dreams bday

December 1st, 2009
1:13 pm

lol@ Swiss… I was just kidding this time.. :lol:

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
1:14 pm

Swiss – Nevermind Dream today she has something on her mind.. She acting like “Who gone check me, Boo” today..

Dream_n--2 days until lil dreams bday

December 1st, 2009
1:14 pm

I agree Dan

Comfortable silence is always nice.

Professor

December 1st, 2009
1:15 pm

Swiss I agree with that quote…I love it when only the hearts talk and you can sit there and be happy enjoying the silence. :wink:

But, hell most men mess up the silence with the dayum tv or radio and some of these fools even break out in a whistle. :???:

Melo

December 1st, 2009
1:17 pm

Swiss???

women are smething else…..

see with me,when im content,esp after i got sme like i did,from that other side last nite, i like to just pace around,one hand in ma pocket,whistling some catchy tune….thats my sign of contentment,silent hapyness! :lol: (teereeee,terrreeeee,terrreeeee,im whislting that tune again) :lol:
Most females will want to call u up and get direct,one on one feedback, “so hw was it las nite yada.. yada…. yada”

I dont know if PEACH and dude have gon there yet or they havtnt but…u know…chics jus enjoy it if u keep rubbing on them etc….

Melo

December 1st, 2009
1:18 pm

some of these fools even break out in a whistle.

SEE…no sooner had i put my typing forefinger down! :lol:

Raqi

December 1st, 2009
1:18 pm

Professor, you statement should read: “But, hell most men mess up the silence with the dayum tv or radio and some of these fools even break out in a whistle a bullhorn fart with a funk that will kill a small village.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
1:19 pm

Ladies the answers to all your problems is a presidential.. If you want him to be quiet give him a presidential.. If you want him to talk give him a presidential… Rinse and repeat..

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 1st, 2009
1:19 pm

@Blog

Have any of you heard of or seen the movie “Diary of a Tired Black Man”? Saw it over the thanksgiving weekend and it was very interesting.

Professor

December 1st, 2009
1:20 pm

Well dayum, Melo I posted two minutes before you. I guess I should smile instead of being annoyed with dude breaking out in a whistle…I guess that is a sign that I am putting it down right :grin:

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
1:22 pm

M. – Yes I have seen it and yes its on point…

Professor

December 1st, 2009
1:23 pm

LOL not the fart…LMAO…especially the kind that comes from under the covers and make you wonder what he has been eatingdigesting.

Dream_n--2 days until lil dreams bday

December 1st, 2009
1:23 pm

Is anyone else a little disapointed in the portryal of the “black princess” and other characters in the new Disney movie…?

Wonderwoman

December 1st, 2009
1:24 pm

presidential???? Do I really what to know!!!

M. (pronounced M dot)

December 1st, 2009
1:25 pm

@THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

I am glad you saw it. I think Tyler should have picked it up, but that will mess up his money because he makes money telling women what they want to here so he would lose alot of his audience I think.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
1:25 pm

Prof – Hey thats one of my personal favs.. Under the covers.. Aww theres nothing better than a dutch oven..

Dream_n--2 days until lil dreams bday

December 1st, 2009
1:25 pm

Wonderwoman

trust me you already know… time to infer

SexyCool - Loves Red LifeSavers.

December 1st, 2009
1:25 pm

M.Dot – I have attempted to watch that movie. It’s one of the worst wastes of cinematography in creation.

Raqi

December 1st, 2009
1:26 pm

Infamous, is there anything a presidential will not cure for you men? LOL Are you all really that simple to please?

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
1:27 pm

Wonderwoman – aka a Billy Clint aka a Lewinski aka dome aka slobbin bob aka a jabberwocky aka a loosey aka brain etc..

Wonderwoman

December 1st, 2009
1:27 pm

Dream_n- I am a little disappointed with the characters that I’ve on the trailer. And the advertisement on Disney channel. But I daughter is wants to see it, so next friday we have a date.

SexyCool - Loves Red LifeSavers.

December 1st, 2009
1:27 pm

And I KNEW most men would see the movie as a work of art. It should have been named – Diary of an Angry Lame Black Man.

The “story” made valid points, but the commentary was crap. (At least what I saw of it until I couldn’t stomach it anymore.)

Raqi

December 1st, 2009
1:27 pm

Aww theres nothing better than a dutch oven

Yall should warn us of those before we pull the covers back.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
1:28 pm

Raqi – Yes we are easy to please not simple but easy to please..

Melo

December 1st, 2009
1:29 pm

“I guess that is a sign that I am putting it down right”

Professor

If dude is whistling wjhile doing some chore or whistling while sitting with one of his hands on ur thigh,tapping ur knee or sme part of ur body,u str8..no worries.

But if dude is silent,whistling but keeping his distance tween u 2,and not keeping eye contact and generally quiet all day,sme is UP!

Check to see if the house is clean,the bed is made,ur draws are clean and that u didnt leave/drop ur sod or funky smell on the sheets! :lol:

(by sod i mean the lil teeny bit of pup/dudu u may leave out in ur nikkas when u dont wipe good,dries up and pops at the most unwelcome tyme!…when his index finger slides that nikka and he gently ups ur right leg as he tries to slide hisself in der)

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
1:29 pm

SC – Dont be mad we have to see movies that ya’ll think are works of art all the time.. They have channel dedicated to them.. Dare I say Lifetime or Oxygen..

M. (pronounced M dot)

December 1st, 2009
1:30 pm

@SexyCool – Loves Red LifeSavers.

So what was your biggest issue with the movie? I agree some things were a little unrealistic, but do you think he was right about some of the issues?

Dan

December 1st, 2009
1:32 pm

@Raqi

It’s behavior modification. Pavlov has treats, give a man a Presidential as a reward – see that akright, git right.

@M(dot)

I’ve seen it. It was far to generalized for my taste. Not every cat is like the director envisions us. I know outright dogs and to my taste, he didn’t try to portray that aspect of the community either.

All in all it came off as a wee bit simpish in it’s overall tone. H

Present both sides is all I’m (ever) saying.

Dream_n--2 days until lil dreams bday

December 1st, 2009
1:32 pm

Wonderwoman

Okay.. I though it was just me, and Yes I have a date to see it also. She actually has the pajamas already.

Melo

December 1st, 2009
1:34 pm

u know im British.if one dude calls another a “sod”…

thats the greatest diss :lol:

SexyCool - Loves Red LifeSavers.

December 1st, 2009
1:36 pm

M.Dot – I thought the story line between the husband and wife raised valid issues.

(If I am remembering this correctly)
she was
attempting to project this fairy tale story onto their reality, listening too much to what her girlfriends had to say
and not allowing him to be the head of the household.

I also like the way he handled her (to a degree) when he came to pick up the child.

In the scenario outlined in the plot, I could easily see how the wife’s attitude and actions undermined the relationship.

Now as to the commentary – some of that sht was just fckery and foolishness.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
1:37 pm

Dan – It was a simple movie but I got the premise of what he was shooting for.. It called some babes out though..

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 1st, 2009
1:39 pm

Wonderwoman/Dream_n – I havent paid much attention to the trailers and whatnot for The Black Princess. What is it that has you disappointed? And I plan to see it myself though I have no lil girls to take.

SCool – someone gave me a bootleg of “Diary of a Angry Black Man” but I havent watched it. So whats the gist?

Wonderwoman

December 1st, 2009
1:39 pm

It seems the story line I wanted to be more realistic..something these young girls can relate too. And it not just be about OHH there final is a black princess. So far she likes the songs that go with the movie, I want to see the message the movie will portray.

Cemeeli

December 1st, 2009
1:41 pm

@ Mo – lol @ Internalist, me too…i know…i know…somethings are better left unattempted…

Hey Swiss…Did you and the in-laws do a Thanksgiving around Mrs. Swiss cooking skills?…

Quiet Intimacy? I have an App for that. :lol:

Dan

December 1st, 2009
1:43 pm

@DK

It did. But when you’re presenting an idea, particularly in a movie that is predicated on beginning a debate, don’t put shoe polish on boo-boo or try and hide it.

Address it and make your point in spite of/using the facts.

There was no counterwieght, and I’m sorry, but about 1:30 into it I’m looking for one. Can’t take unexamined (Read: self critical) whining from no one – male or female.

Dream_n--2 days until lil dreams bday

December 1st, 2009
1:49 pm

Mo

This princess comes from New Orleans I believe, the way the characteers talk irks me… and most of the movie, the princess is a frog. There’s also subtle little suggestions about butts and crap…

I guess I have to see it to get a full view of it.

M. (pronounced M dot)

December 1st, 2009
1:50 pm

@SexyCool – Loves Red LifeSavers.

I dont want to give away the plot but the commentary from all around was interesting because you ask 50 people a question, you get 50 answers. It was funny that some of us never want to take responsibility for our actions, like the girl who said men were garbage but she was dating a married guy for 2 years…

Dan

December 1st, 2009
1:53 pm

@Mdot

“I didn’t know he was married though. He told me after I was in love with him…” <– hilarious

SexyCool - Loves Red LifeSavers.

December 1st, 2009
1:54 pm

Like I said – fckery and foolishness.

Dream_n--2 days until lil dreams bday

December 1st, 2009
1:55 pm

like the girl who said men were garbage but she was dating a married guy for 2 years :shock:

Smh… This is why some men continue to do the dirt they do. Women let’s please do better.

i'm swiss

December 1st, 2009
1:57 pm

“Did you and the in-laws do a Thanksgiving around Mrs. Swiss cooking skills?…”

Cee — Actually, Mrs. Swiss & I had our own, private turkey day around our mutual cooking skills… :-) Dinner was quite tasty, and dessert was off the charts… :lol:

Professor

December 1st, 2009
1:58 pm

Hey Melo,

Thanks for the insight and it is not the latter.

Dream~like Mo I have not followed the trailers but I will see the movie and buy a few things from Carol’s Daughter in support of the movie. I need to look into it more, and I will let you know my thoughts though. I do remember seeing something that raised my eyebrows.