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Bad Romance

It doesn’t matter how many times Lady Gaga sings it, being caught in a bad romance is like being stuck on a broken carousel being operated by an evil clown. The worst part of it is that we willingly hop on the ride and subject ourselves to the vicious cycle of drama.

You know what they say, the first step is admitting you have a problem. So admit it.  The bad romances you end up with is partly because you are attracting what you are putting out there.  When you have low self-esteem, lack confidence and believe that you don’t deserve better, you don’t get any better. This shows in the choices you make in people that you let occupy your mental space and time.

I was guilty of doing this and it wasn’t until I figured out how great I am  (no, seriously I was slow to realize it) that I started to discover what it was like to date someone else who is great. I had to go through too many bad romances but you don’t have to!

First, how do you define a bad romance? How do you know when it’s bad? It may sound like a strange question but a lot of times we don’t know until it’s too late how bad it is.

Second, how do you get off the cycle of bad romances? What has worked for you?

Third, once you are in a good position to find a good romance, how do you avoid messing it up?  There are definitely some adjustments to be made when you are so used to the bad romances from your past. When it is good, relaxing into it and keeping the drama at bay could be challenging but not impossible.

Getting off the bad romance carousel before 2010? Yes, please! Let’s Discuss

322 comments Add your comment

SexyCool - Loves Red LifeSavers.

December 1st, 2009
11:46 am

Unless you think this is indicative of a bigger issue, let this one ride, folk.

MsM

December 1st, 2009
11:47 am

@ Peach… I know what you mean about the slowing of calls/texts, but I don’t think anything is particularly wrong. My S/O of 3+ years and I kept it up for two full years, but now not so much. I think its because we’re entrenched now LOL! I do hate for him to say “I’ll call you right back” and doesn’t, I have to remind him about that sometimes.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 1st, 2009
11:48 am

@ImAPeach404

Well you should get something to balance you out. Get a new hobby, do something to balance you from wanting to wait around from him. Maybe he also wants to let the tension (good tension) and excitement build up. That way you arent putting everything on the line and sweating him. It also may be nothing. Don’t jump to conclusions.

Dream_n

December 1st, 2009
11:49 am

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with talking/touchy feely as long as it’s not obsessive…

I love talking, not about nonsense a.ka. gossip (that’s what the girls are for), but about things of substance.. Whether it be politicalor social, or just about how much I want you, care for you… I love a man that can talk about different subjects and express his feelings also……

Cemeeli

December 1st, 2009
11:50 am

i’ve always thought in every relationship there’s and internalizer and there’s an aggressor…

once you recognize which one you are it’s easier to understand your counterpart…

Dream_n

December 1st, 2009
11:51 am

*political, social*…

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
11:52 am

MsM – Yeah we tore ours to h3ll and back.. She doesnt like me and i dont give a Fcuk.. I mean I try and put a good face on it but she just wants to be bitter so I let her live with that.. She got a new dude but of course you know she done told him she hates me so he looks at me cross eyed.. I just speak and give him that I’ll pound you into dust if you say something wrong look.. All with a smile of course..

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 1st, 2009
11:54 am

Truth – musical instrument yes, ballet not so much! LOL! I play (correction played) 2 instruments so Lil Mo has no choice. Im hoping there will be an interest in a particular instrument, but if not there are many to chose from. Glad you are surviving the cold and you are right, heat is a beast!

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
11:56 am

Cee – You know thats what was wrong in my relaationship.. Im aggressive and she was passive aggresive.. So we bumped heads like a Mugg..

MsM

December 1st, 2009
11:57 am

@ Cemeeli >>>>i’ve always thought in every relationship there’s and internalizer and there’s an aggressor…

I know I’m the internalizer. I tend to let it ride to see where it goes vs. jumping on everything. It’s not always a good thing, but it’s who I am. I don’t see everything as a battle… pick and choose, pick and choose. I don’t handle drama well at all, I’ll stand on the side lines and when you look up I’ll be gone (no foot prints left behind).

Melo

December 1st, 2009
11:57 am

Dream_n..

me and my girl actually gossip..shes my best friend and confidant,the most trustworhty to me..so my gossip about other pple neva resemble AHWives(sheree and swiss girl type) coz we trust each other.

we gossip about our friends

about my siblings and hers

about our parents

But we do talk substance too..
The only thing we dont do that much together is watch movies..

I like to read and watch sports,she likes to watch lifetime,cooking shows(rachel ray etc) and reality shows….

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
12:00 pm

Ya’ll know what. I need to be in Sex Rehab with that Nicole Nahrain.. She is gorgeous but crazy as a bed bug..

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
12:01 pm

Or find out where that Mz Berry and Jaguar are on Ray J’s show..

That Model chick Amber from sex rehab could get it too but I fear after a 4 hr romp session she would be too hard to shake..

Cemeeli

December 1st, 2009
12:01 pm

i don’t know where i stand…maybe i’m an “internalizer”…but i dunno really.

Wonderwoman

December 1st, 2009
12:02 pm

Bad romance/relationship I think will happen. But like someone said the earlier posts when those red flags start waving recogonize them and if they keep popping up run!

I do think wanting space could be red flag. I why not talk through the issues at hand and make a decision to work through it or leave. Communication is the key.

The slowin down of the text…ohh been there too girl, hang in there it may be exactly what he says. Don’t let your thoughts take to a place where u question the trust.

MsM

December 1st, 2009
12:03 pm

@ The Infamous >>> She doesnt like me and i dont give a Fcuk.. I mean I try and put a good face on it but she just wants to be bitter so I let her live with that. At this date and time, same here. My S/O of over 3 years just met the ex and all he said is “that guys weird” we shrugged and went back to watching the game on TV. We’ve never bashed our ex’s after all we were with the for a “good” reason at some point and right about now it soooo not important.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
12:04 pm

Ladies if you wanna make sure your man is straight listen to that Keyshia Cole/Monica “Trust”..

Raqi

December 1st, 2009
12:05 pm

Cemeeli que estoy de acuerdo en que se tarda un contrapeso para equilibrar cualquier relacion.

Wonderwoman

December 1st, 2009
12:06 pm

Melo- that nice you gossip with your girl. That communicating, and even though the two of you don’t watch the same shows, you can talk about. Sometimes people just like to have someone listen to their interest.

Cemeeli

December 1st, 2009
12:06 pm

…”Trust” is a hit…i saw Monica’s show during the Thanksgiving marathon….i actually thinks it’s one of the better ones…didn’t know she had 2 boys tho.

Raqi

December 1st, 2009
12:07 pm

Sorry. Cemeeli, I agree to have balance you have to counterweight in any relationship.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
12:08 pm

MsM – Thats just it.. I look at it like I loved this chick at one point so it aint no reason to be mad now.. Just take the lesson and make lfe better going forward..

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
12:12 pm

Raqi – Yo Quiedo Taco Bell, Mon Frer..

Cemeeli

December 1st, 2009
12:12 pm

@ Raqi – Maam, i dunno…but my broken spanish says; that understanding your counterpart keeps the balance?

equilibrar = equal or balance?

Melo

December 1st, 2009
12:14 pm

thanx Wonderwoman>

Cemeeli?? whose house was that they(monica an ‘em) were braiding hair in..hers or the mama??

dang!! that kitchen was foul..u cld see dirt thru the HD tv :lol:

Chink

December 1st, 2009
12:16 pm

Wow thanks for the feedback on space!

czBrat

December 1st, 2009
12:17 pm

Hello All!

:lol: @ Melo. yeah, me & s/o gossip too. :razz:

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
12:20 pm

Chink – You can space yourself right on over here so we can get up close and personal.. I’ll pick up his dime that he just dropped.. We can make him regret it.. Then when he see us out i’ll squeeze your bottom for that extra special effect.. Nothing says Fcuk you better than that.

Cemeeli

December 1st, 2009
12:21 pm

@ Melo – That was a house she’d rented…not sure if she resided there, or Mom Dukes…

My family was STUNNED when they realized she was only in her late 20s…one of my Aunts was like…”That girl looks about 40″. now my Auntie that blurted that is 55

Cee was :shock: and just stayed out of that one! lol

Raqi

December 1st, 2009
12:24 pm

LOL Infamous. I said sorry. I was speaking with my father and typing at the same time.

Tu veux coucher avec moi, Infamous? LOL Just kidding. Lawd, j’obtendrez nous tu pour cette blague deux. LMBO

Raqi

December 1st, 2009
12:24 pm

Sorry, Cemeeli. I fixed it. But yeah I was agreeing with your statement.

Raqi

December 1st, 2009
12:25 pm

Enter your comments here

Chink

December 1st, 2009
12:26 pm

Dk Dont make me take you up on that offer…*wink*

LOL …I hate when people make things more difficult than they need to be.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
12:26 pm

Im starting the rent me foundation.. Im good for Bat Mitvahs, coronations, debutante balls, ex boyfriend get togethers and childrens functions in front of the ex.. I’ll clean up nice, bring out the sports car and generally wow the crowd by “Putting On” Oh and Im also available for reunions and weddings.. I wont even get mad when your friends call me a “Hot Piece of Arse”

Cemeeli

December 1st, 2009
12:28 pm

time for lunch…this is just outta habit, because i’m not hungry

before i dip…i saw that movie “Hangover”…omygah!!!…well well, is that what men do in Vegas!?!

funny as all get out!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 1st, 2009
12:29 pm

Cemeeli – Im an internalizer, I know this for a fact!

Infamous – that song by KCole and Monica is da truf!

okay does anyone watch that show Hoarders on A&E? OMG the way some of those people live is ridiculous!!! One lady had 4000 tons of trash removed from her house! She had 2 dead cats in there under all that and didnt know it! EEEEWWWW!

okay back on topic

Dream_n

December 1st, 2009
12:29 pm

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
12:29 pm

The good part about my foundation is.. Its free.. You know you dont have to get paid to do something you love..

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
12:31 pm

Raqi – Tu Veux a coochie to you too..

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
12:35 pm

Raqi – Le ce serait mon plaisir pour vous coucher parce que vous êtes un de ceux-là qui si vous werent a épousé travaillerait pour moi.. Im le maçon sûr vous apprécie

Professor

December 1st, 2009
12:36 pm

Hola Happy People!

Whew time is flying today, I just thought about the blog!

So what are we talking about?

Leggs did you stay up all night keeping your friend away from Coach-Good-Dyck-Drilling?

Hey Dream!

Hey Melo!

Raqi

December 1st, 2009
12:41 pm

Infamous, j’ essaie. Pas parfait, mais j’ essayer. Je pense que mon mari il apprecie. Au moins il agit comme il le fait. Il permit de revenir pour en savoir plus. LOL

Melo

December 1st, 2009
12:42 pm

Hey Proff/Czbrat

Raqi,unless u let me in on what u and DK are talking about,u trying to cheat Mason!

say it aint so! :lol:

Off topic:
i aint a football fan,but it hurt me last nite to see Brady being so hopelessly embarrased last nite..

I caught the end of the 2nd qter and the rest of the game!

Raqi

December 1st, 2009
12:43 pm

Oh et par la manière mon mari aime lorsque je parle dans ma French langue maternelle, Infamous. LOL

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 1st, 2009
12:43 pm

Cemeeli – Im an internalist!

Infamous – that song “Trust” is da truf!

okay does anyone else watch “Hoarders” on A&E?? OMG….I didnt know people would actually live like that!

Leggs

December 1st, 2009
12:45 pm

@Professor ~ see my 10:19, and in that meant to say I “can’t stand”. She’ll be alright after a while. Just text me saying she feels like an alcoholic who can’t stop drinking (just pitiful).

Ok, I need to go to a blog where they speak English.

THE INFAMOUS DK aka DK ALI

December 1st, 2009
12:46 pm

Bien Im sûr il fait et vous donnez m’espère que je trouve que la paix de relation un jour. Apprécier d’Im est libre bien que..

Dream_n

December 1st, 2009
12:47 pm

Raqi

December 1st, 2009
12:47 pm

Nah, Melo. Just playing with Infamous. I ain’t no fool. I likes what I got at home.

Raqi

December 1st, 2009
12:51 pm

Infamous, I hope you do find it because it does exist. There is nothing in this world that I would give in exchange for it. Nothing.