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Archive for November, 2009

Alice in Imposterland

I’ve heard a lot of my single friends voice concerns about getting to know a person and making the decision to get in a relationship with them.  Whether you meet online, at church, or through friends, you still have to put in the work and effort it takes to peel away the layers of a person’s personality.

My male friends are especially concerned about women who impersonate a sane and mature woman when she is really the exact opposite. Psycho and immature women are the leading cause of property destruction and restraining orders. (Ok,  I just made that up but you know what I am saying!)

Men have a real fear of falling for the wrong woman who has pretended to be someone she’s not just to land him. I think this is one of the main men don’t like us to change after they get with us. Why is she changing after I am “all in to her” and who is she now?!

My friends and I have literally found that some men not only are posers, they actually make up or omit a lot about themselves in an …

Continue reading Alice in Imposterland »

Full Disclosure

In an attempt to understand the male psyche, I asked a few men the question that a lot of women have pondered.  Why won’t men tell everything? I got a lot of great insight about this.  Apparently, it’s one of those “be careful what you wish for” kind of things that we think we want but probably won’t like it.

What makes some men avoid telling it all is the reactions they think they will get once the disclose what they are truly thinking.  It’s not about any fear (well not physical fear, hopefully) of women, but it is the dread of getting the cold shoulder, bad attitudes, and having the sex come to a screeching hault.

It takes a long time for some men to even trust their mate with their inner thoughts.  During that time, he is observing how the woman responds to stress, disappointment, anger, etc.  This tells him a lot about her character and maturity.  Once they get that trust, often times they are more willing to share with you what they are thinking and feeling.

Guys, …

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It’s Complicated

There seems to be an attitudinal shift in men when they meet a sexually confident woman. Of course, the type of shift depends on the man and his outlook and moral values.  It can put some men at ease because he knows that there is an experienced woman who is comfortable with herself and her sexuality.

While other men may wonder if she is truly confident as she says. A confident woman won’t trade sex for love.  There is no need to use sex to validate her. She doesn’t think sex will get or keep a man in a relationship.

What does the traditional man think of sexually confident women? What about the modern guy? Are the younger men today more confident with a sexually confident woman then their older counterparts?

Ladies, do you feel comfortable discussing sex when you meet men? Are you the one to bring the topic up? Do you think find that the men you date are judgmental about your perception of sex? How do you handle that?

Guys, when you meet women who are sexually confident, …

Continue reading It’s Complicated »

Top Ways to Get Approached

In any social setting, single people tend to sabotage themselves without even knowing it.  If you, in fact, want to be noticed and approached, you really need to find ways to signal that you are not going to reject someone who is interested.

While we may look fabulous in our outfits, a lot of women are oblivious about their body language. Crossed arms, eyes on their blackberries, or no smiles can pretty much guarantee you will not be approached!

So ladies who get approached, what is your secret!? Do you find a way to stand out and get a man’s attention? Do you ever approach men? If you have or would, what about the man would compel you to do so?

Guys, what are the top ways women can get approached? When you see someone that catches your eye, what is the first thing you notice that sends you over to where she is? What would make you do a u-turn and go the other way? How long does it take before you decide that you will get her number?

Continue reading Top Ways to Get Approached »

I’m Not Happy

I know a lot of us would like to be in relationships right now but sometimes we tend to forget that they take a lot of work and effort.  When the tough times hit, like they inevitably will, we aren’t always prepared for it.  This is when you find out what your relationship is really made of, good or bad.

When a woman is unhappy, she probably has a change in her behavior towards her partner. Because men have innate differences from women they feel the need to want to fix it.  They actually care a lot about why their woman is unhappy and want to do what they can to improve it.  It’s almost as if they take it personally when their woman isn’t satisfied and fulfilled.

Ladies, have you ever dated a really moody guy? I am not referring to the random cranky mood but a guy who has a lot of bad moods, how did you handle it?

Guys, do you think that your woman’s unhappiness is a reflection of your relationship with her? Does it bother you when she is unhappy?

Do you think we are …

Continue reading I’m Not Happy »

Bonnie & Clyde

I was having a friendly debate with my friend Mark about loyalty in dating relationships. I don’t think it exists.  As humans, we are self-preserving, self-serving people.  Loyalty extends about as far as it can until we decide that our own needs are more important than someone else’s.

He disagreed and said that loyalty is one of the things that people should be willing to prove in dating to lead to a relationship.  Mark and I  joked about how Bonnie & Clyde were known as the most loyal couple in history.

In some twisted way, the fact that she not only stuck by Clyde and covered for him, she  also joined in his crime sprees of robbery and murder. Are women expected to break the law to prove loyalty to their man, though!?

Do you think that loyalty is a realistic expectation in dating? Is it important to you when you are getting to know someone?

How do you know when someone is loyal to you? Is it something you can really prove or a feeling you give?

Do you think that …

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What’s Wrong with Being Friends?

I know that some of us cringe at the thought of being stuck in the “friend zone” with people we are romantically interested in.  There is nothing worse then wanting more when the other person doesn’t seem interested in that.  Then I wonder why we actually don’t aim to be great friends before a romance even gets started?

I think some of the best relationships in history, the long-lasting ones, are couples who were extremely close friends.  The friendship that holds trust and loyalty can only improve a romantic relationship that comes later.

Guys, what is it about being friends with a woman that bothers you? Isn’t it possible that a strong friendship with a woman could enhance a romantic connection with her?

Ladies, do you find it difficult to begin a relationship with men who are your friends?

When you think about the people that you have dated, how do they rate on the friendship scale? Do you actually consider them people you would want to hang out with and enjoy without …

Continue reading What’s Wrong with Being Friends? »

Sex, Food & Silence

Whenever I talk with men, whether they are in a relationship or single, they generally stick to the whole “men are simple” concept.  Women often over analyze what men really want and try to make it more complicated.  Ultimately, a man is happy when he is satisfied.

I think it is great that these three “little” things are all men think they need, but what else is there? Pardon my confusion, but if it is really that simple to keep a man happy, why do so many women find it hard to handle?

Is it possible that a lot more is needed and men don’t know how to communicate it to us because they don’t want to come across too needy? It’s ok to need a women and tell  her, isn’t?

Ladies, in your experience, does the trifecta of male happiness always work? Do you find that men need you  in other ways? How do they let you know? If they don’t come out and tell you what they need and want, what other ways do you realize it?

Guys, why does it seem to be like pulling teeth to get you to …

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Bedside Manner

Most women will agree that the relationship with her doctor is not unlike the one she has with her man.  She has to be able to trust the person and feel comfortable with them.  When you consider bedside manner, very few women will put up with a rude, inconsiderate physician that makes her feel horrible.

That is why I find it so strange that so many women put up with the same behavior from the men that they date.  A man’s bedroom behavior says a lot about his personality and character. The same as for women, men probably pay attention to how she handles herself.

I found a list of tips that are recommended for doctors, imagine that these are bedroom tips:

  • Be a good listener, patients may need to be encouraged to express their concerns and anxieties.
  • Be non-judgemental, avoid stereotyping patients on appearance or cultural or social background.
  • Avoid making any unnecessary personal remarks or jokes, especially when the consultation involves matters of an intimate …

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