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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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It’s Human Nature, Really?

There is nothing more distracting to a good weekend of football then breaking gossip news reports about a high profile sports figure having an affair.  I take that back, there is one thing more distracting, when said prominent sports figure allegedly argues with his wife and wrecks his SUV about having an affair.

While Tiger Woods is making all attempts at damage control, a lot of people are speculating about the entire situation.  As always, a lot of people subscribe to the school of thought that anyone who is wealthy and powerful will never remain faithful.  Then others think that monogamy is simply not natural.  This argument always perplexes me because I have yet to see it this way.

What does it mean that it’s human nature to cheat? Is that logic simply based on biology?

I remember telling a guy that I wanted to be like the penguins and mate for life.  He argued back that they ALL look alike, so of course it is easier for them to mate for life. GREAT.  So much for my envy of penguin love!

Why do you think our society today views infidelity as a “natural” thing?  It no longer shocks or awes us, does it?

Do you think our generation is learning a different perspective about fidelity? Ladies, were you told outright or indirectly that all men cheat? Is it something you were conditioned to prepare for and deal with when it happened?

Guys how do you think your views on fidelity were shaped?  What is your position on monogamy being unnatural?

258 comments Add your comment

Leggs

November 30th, 2009
10:55 am

I saw Blindside and Precious this weekend. Both very good movies. That last scene in Precious showcased Mo’nique’s acting. Really liked the strong attitude and open heart the mother in Blindside had. I can see me doing the same thing she did!

Living in the Moment ~

Married Man: Wow, that woman over there looks hot. Let me approach and strike up a conversation.

Woman: Why is this man walking over to me.

Married Dude: Hello, my name is MD and I was admiring you from across the room and had to meet you.

Woman: Thank you.

MD: Are you here alone?

Woman: Yes, I am. Just taking some time to myself.

MD: Well, can I sit and buy you a drink?

Woman: Thank you, but no thanks!

MD: What’s wrong? I can’t buy you drink?

Woman: I’m not in the habit of taking drinks from men I just meet.

MD: Well, we can get to know each other a little more if you like.

Woman: Sorry, but I’m married and can’t get to know you any better.

MD: Well, I’m married as well so we have that in common.

Woman: No, we don’t have that in common because I’m willing to stop right here and you want to proceed to get to know me better!!

Raqi...The Ringless One

November 30th, 2009
10:56 am

Lady J

November 30th, 2009
10:56 am

Raqi that emotional cheating is not what anyone wants….it is though a coward way out…just be adults and handle the internal issue or plan the exit plan…seriously…

Lady J

November 30th, 2009
10:59 am

no lie Leggs this one dude told me I would be ok if I were married bc he is and it wold be easier…he is 12 yrs older than me go figure…also this other dude was talking to me recently on how him and his gf are doing well and his wife of 18yrs is like is bff however there are two girlfriends in the mix and he just let one go and really vibe with the other….man grown folk do what the hell they want most times without regards…

Professor is.....

November 30th, 2009
11:03 am

Dan…yep like 5 am in the morning…it is a tradition with my sisters and I and we love it…this year I had something special to get for one of my nephews so the crooked smile on his face was worth it!

Leggs…my sister was telling me about this lady that met this guy and he told her straight up that he was married. The guy was an engineer for a major fortune 500 company and retired officer from the army. Long story short the lady took his number and continued to talk to him. Before the guy left he told her I told you up front I was married so you must want to get with me because sex is all I have to offer. The lady was mad saying she cannot deal with all this upfront talking and stuff.

Melo

November 30th, 2009
11:03 am

whats the topic again???

SlimOne

November 30th, 2009
11:04 am

Leggs – I saw Precious too…Can ANYONE tell me what was so great about Mariah Carey’s performance??? I mean just because she went without makeup & a bad wig constitutes a nomination for an award? Yeah whatever…guess it’s the same sort of thinking when Halle got an award for Monsters Ball…”make me feeellll guuuuddd” said while humping around naked looking like a dayum fool!

Professor is.....

November 30th, 2009
11:04 am

Dan I forgot to add that we should have been up at 4am, but I need my beauty sleep so I still paid full price for the item…it was still worth it, though

Lady J

November 30th, 2009
11:04 am

one more story another guy acknowledged is mistress of nine years and the divoce came after the baby was born to the mistress and the wife lost her bay and now he’s not with either…yeah raqi it is too much wasted energy….life is what one makes it…

Raqi...The Ringless One

November 30th, 2009
11:07 am

Leggs I agree. The problem is marriage and commitment are just not sacred to many these days. Especially to those that step outside of their relationship. Many people want to fault the outsider but the outsider is not the one going against their vows and tainting the marriage. Pleasure it the downfall of the younger generation now.

While cheating is nothing new, it’s wide spread these days.

abc

November 30th, 2009
11:08 am

Elaborate? Christopher Columbus’s theories about the nature of the planet, at a time when over half of it was unknown to the civilization he lived in, was a burning passion that consumed him for years until he was able to persuade anyone to finance his exploration, and then due to the extreme financial windfall to be realized if a more direct trade route to the orient was reached. Now, everyone knows that — elementary school children know that. To characterize it as an example of male disregard for consequences is just stupid!

Einstein didn’t directly participate in A-bomb development.

Just sayin. It’s all for entertainment, sure, but even jokes need to be funny, else they ain’t jokes — just that stupid thing you said. Get it? Not to diss you too badly. It’s all in fun, really, even when the fun is in making fun of someone else.

Professor is.....

November 30th, 2009
11:09 am

I did not know that Chelsea Clinton was engaged

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/34206010/ns/today-white_house/?GT1=43001

Melo

The topic is what animal most resembles your dating escapades? Are you a rat, swan, dog, lion etc. and why?

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 30th, 2009
11:11 am

The lady was mad saying she cannot deal with all this upfront talking and stuff.

Married (wo)men, give that “I’m married shpeel” upfront b/c that’s always an easy out and they think it absolves them from any ensuing drama/guilt but it doesn’t. They think if they say it upfront and the other person still decides to give it a go then all is good b/c they knew upfront what the deal was….that’s bull.

Lady J

November 30th, 2009
11:13 am

Raqi what do you mean by younger generation would that include late 30s early 40s….they seem to be IMO very busy to me looking for instant gratification also…what do you think???

Melo

November 30th, 2009
11:13 am

Proff..

Lion is my totem,so maybe i resemble that, dont know 4 sure….

My zulu folk hunt,like lions..they wrk hard for their families,they make big fams,pop 4,5,6…8 kids easy… but theyr’e twinkle toes too with their instruments. :lol:
Make sense??

SlimOne

November 30th, 2009
11:13 am

And try this on for size

Male co-worker to female coworker: Hi there, what’s your name again?

Female: Slim

Male: So when are we going to talk?

Female looking confused: Um..talk?..Talk about what, I thought you were talking to me just now.

Male: I mean talk talk. So do you have a boyfriend or anything?

Female: Yes I do. And you?

Male: Well…I’m in a situation.

Female: A situation? Is that what they’re calling it these days?

Male: Um, something like that. SO, when are you going to let me take you out to lunch or dinner?

Female: I don’t see that happening. I’m quite sure my bf would not find it appropriate going out with someone and plus lawd knows what your ’situation’ is.

Male: Well you’re in a relationship and I’m in a situation. There are ways around that.

Female: I don’t think so.

Another female coworker to the one being hit on by Mr. Situation: Hey, was ole boy trying to holla at you?

Chick 1: Yeah and even kept on after I told him I was in a r’ship and after he said he had some sort of situation.

Chick 2: Gurrrl, he always try to talk to the new girl. He tried to holla at the last 3 chicks that started working here. And his little situation is he has SIX dayum kids! ha ha ha!

Chick 1: Ohhhh hayo naw..how are you going to call 6 kids a ’situation’? That’s funny.

Chick 2: And they are different baby mama’s too. Not sure how many though

Chick 1: Well I sure as hayo hope he’s not looking for someone to have the next kid with. I need to make sure he doesn’t even breathe on me.

(Chick 1 now taking long way to the bathroom as to not pass by his office to catch that Baby Mama Flu)

Been Thru It All

November 30th, 2009
11:20 am

@abc…dawg let it go…you don’t like what I wrote, don’t read…simple

killn me with this crying in your wine ish….if you can do better, DO BETTER……

Leggs

November 30th, 2009
11:25 am

The lady was mad saying she cannot deal with all this upfront talking and stuff.

Now, that was funny because I think she may have been offended that he called her out. She may have been thinking “engineer w/$$$ (so what he’s married)” and he’s knowing all he has to offer was sex, no $$$.

@SlimOne, that about sums up Mariah’s character. So what she turned away to wipe a tear from that one eye when Mo’nique was telling her story. If you want to show some range of emotion do it so the camera/audience can see it. Hell, I can cock my head to the side, turn away and wipe a tear away. Don’t need any acting coaches to show me how to do that!

Off topic ~ I stopped at a neighboring waterhole after the movie yesterday with a girlfriend. I was casual with sneakers, jeans, sweatshirt and cap on my head. She was in boots, tight jeans and sweater with a long arse horse’s hairpiece clipped to the middle of her head. It was nice, but very long. Anyway, we’re sitting there with our beer and wings. This guy walks up to us and asks me my name. I told him and introduced him to my friend. He asked if he could sit with us for a moment. Just then her phone rang and it was from a dude she’s been waiting to hear back from for the past 7 days. She eagerly steps outside and the man sits down next to me. A few idle chatter and she comes back in. She sees him give me his number and he walks away. This heifer had the nerve to say: Here I am dressed in a nice outfit and you’re sitting here with cap and sweatshirt on getting someone’s number. I told her plain and simple, some men like the naturalness of a woman and kept it moving….

Professor is.....

November 30th, 2009
11:27 am

Melo I hear ya with the lion esp as it relates to the twinkle toes lions are good on their feet.

I am an eagle they are majestic and beautiful plus they mate for life…there is no need in sneaking around it wears ya down and age you.

i'm swiss

November 30th, 2009
11:28 am

I would say it probably is human nature to cheat, but that’s not a justification for doing so. Fidelity is a conscious choice to defy those carnal temptations for the sake of your relationship — and that’s what makes it a special thing. If it were human nature to be monogamous, then doing so would be no big deal.

As for Melo’s hypothesis of the air-tight, no-chance-of-getting-caught situation… I can only answer for myself in saying that I honestly don’t know what I would do in that situation. I would like to say that I wouldn’t, but the truth is, I can’t say that for certain.

What I can say, and what I make a point to do always, is that I try to handle my business in such a way so as to never put myself in that situation. Aside from the obvious situations to avoid, I also make sure that Mrs. Swiss has access to all of my financial information, knows all of my computer passwords, phone passwords, etc. — so that I have no easy way of keeping secrets from her. Temptation is part of life, but it can be mitigated if your SO means enough to you to do so.

Yoni masseuse

November 30th, 2009
11:29 am

@slim..now that is funny….thats why you dont dip your pen in company ink

Melo

November 30th, 2009
11:31 am

@Proff..do u guys have/use totems in ur fam tradition…what is that eagle symbolism??

totem or zodiac sign??

Professor is.....

November 30th, 2009
11:32 am

I think cheating is the same today as it was any other time period in history. Long time ago people swept things under the rug and gave an illusion of a happy family not to mention most men back then could do as pleased because they were the provider…no child support laws and divorce was an abomination so people just accepted more and got away with more back in the day.

abc

November 30th, 2009
11:33 am

Only an idiot is promiscuous. Rather than realize up front the extreme hassles of having to deal with more than one chick at a time — and/or thinking that they won’t have to deal with them — idiot-boys go for easy scores and fill up entire baggage trains. Newsflash, it ain’t worth it, and everyone already knew that. To be married and promiscuous is even more idiotic. There are no situations in which there’s no way you can get caught — that would require both parties to not be idiots, and promiscuity already demonstrates that both are idiots!

Don’t bother asking a promiscuous chick their real ‘number’, because they’ll never tell you the truth about it — nope, never. Don’t bother. In fact, just don’t ask, anyway. Chances are you don’t really want to know.

Melo

November 30th, 2009
11:33 am

can only answer for myself in saying that I honestly don’t know what I would do in that situation. I would like to say that I wouldn’t, but the truth is, I can’t say that for certain

Thank u for the validation Swiss!! :lol:

Ur doubt is good enough 4me…..

Lady J-When we start having unchangeable expectations, we will start to see unquestionable change

November 30th, 2009
11:33 am

I agree Professor….

Melo

November 30th, 2009
11:34 am

Don’t bother asking a promiscuous chick their real ‘number’, because they’ll never tell you the truth about it — nope, never

:lol: :lol: :lol:

abc is mad at chics now!!

Leggs

November 30th, 2009
11:38 am

I thought the new blog was suppose to STOP being a greedy machine and not eat our posts!!!

“The lady was mad saying she cannot deal with all this upfront talking and stuff.”

I think she may have gotten mad because he called her out. She saw an “engineer w/$$$”, and he saw a woman willing to take his number after being told he was married for a sexual encounter.

Off topic ~ I met a gf at the movie casually dressed. I had on sneakers, jeans, sweatshirt and cap on my head. She had on boots, tight jeans tucked inside and a tight sweater with a long horse tail hair piece stuck to the middle of her head. After leaving the movies yesterday, my gf and I stopped at a neighboring waterhole for beer and wings. A little into our time there, this man stops my our table and introduces himself to me. I introduce the both of us to him. Her phone rings and it’s the guy she’s been waiting to hear back from for the past 6 days…6 days and he hadn’t returned any of her calls or texts. She jumps up and eagerly exits to the parking lot. When she returns she see him writing his number down for me. When he says bye to the both of us the h e i f e r says she surprised anyone approached me with me so casually dressed. I looked at her and said as politely as I could muster “you know, a lot of men like to see the naturalness of a woman, and not all that beauty hype and hair accessories.” That shet her up for a few!

SlimOne

November 30th, 2009
11:41 am

Awwww Swisss…. :-)

I know dudes who say they won’t even change their phone number if they were to get married, let alone give their SO access to anything other than the kitchen. lol

Professor is.....

November 30th, 2009
11:46 am

MeloNo we do not have a family crest or totems. Besides the bald eagle being our national emblem I just think it is a beautiful and majestic creature.

i'm swiss

November 30th, 2009
11:50 am

“I know dudes who say they won’t even change their phone number if they were to get married, let alone give their SO access to anything other than the kitchen. lol”

Hi, SlimOne

The way I see it, if I wanted to continue being a man-wh@re, I would have stayed single. I’ve had my share of (risky) fun, but I’m older now & past all that foolishness. I wouldn’t have gotten married if I didn’t want it to last, so I’m going to do everything I can to make sure it does. And, of course, it helps that I’ve got the finest lil’ mama I’ve ever laid eyes on waiting for me at home… :lol:

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 30th, 2009
11:52 am

Morning Ya’ll!

okay I had a great time with the fam in VA! Saw my new niece and had some great Auntie time!

Food was great, gotta love seafood!

Shopping – did some online for Lil Mo thursday night and made out great! I will finish him off this friday then its on to the easy folk (brother, sister, mom & dad)

On topic:…..yeah, well. I was never told that all men cheat, just that women of yesterday tolerated a lot more than I HAVE to.

abc

November 30th, 2009
11:53 am

Nah, I ain’t mad at chicks! That’s an easy one, though — you can double the number a chick will tell you, and cut the number in half a man will tell you, or something like that.

Professor is.....

November 30th, 2009
11:53 am

Dang Leggs~ even if she thought that she should not have said that mess. We were talking about the same thing this weekend. About how everyone dresses up in Atlanta and you do not see blue jeans and sneakers instead you see nice stilletos with premium jeans and the LV or Gucci bag. Well I am happy to know that it is still appreciated. Have you spoken to dude yet? Keep us posted on the connection.

Melo

November 30th, 2009
12:00 pm

you can double the number a chick will tell you, and cut the number in half a man will tell you

@abc,sexx theory!

loosely translated,females whore more than they tell and guys whore less than they tell.

See females,we arent as bad as uall! :lol:

U,need Jesus

SlimOne

November 30th, 2009
12:02 pm

@Swiss (I wouldn’t have gotten married if I didn’t want it to last, so I’m going to do everything I can to make sure it does)

Well, you are one who walked into the marriage with what it was intended for. Many folks get married these days to shut the nagging gf/baby mama up…or just to keep the chick from going elsewhere so they get married but continue to live life of a single person. Or some chicks get married for sake of money, living the life, etc…folks to it all for different reasons.

bluestocking

November 30th, 2009
12:02 pm

Immature men tend to cheat, for sure. I’m a firm believer in the “sowing your wild oats” theory for both men and women. Try the book Act Like a Gentleman, Think Like a Woman for an unusual but true take on this stuff.

Raqi...The Ringless One

November 30th, 2009
12:11 pm

okay I had a great time with the fam in VA! Saw my new niece and had some great Auntie time!

Mo were you in Richmond? You probably know who stole my rings then. I’ll give a $1000 if you throw your cousins under the bus. LOL

Professor is.....

November 30th, 2009
12:14 pm

Raqi I am hoping and praying that these are not your wedding rings that were stolen.

SexyCool - Um, yeah. So.

November 30th, 2009
12:14 pm

Are you the author?

Leggs

November 30th, 2009
12:18 pm

@Professor ~ I know, right! Oh well. She kept running her hands through that hair distracting me. Listening to her last night reaffirmed what a lot of us talk about on this blog. He has verbablly told her what he want and what he doesn’t want, but she’s not hearing him. I had to take her by her shoulders and repeat what he said thinking if she heard those same honest words from my mouth she might get a chance to really hear. Here it goes:

Dude: I’m sorry I haven’t been returning your calls but I’ve been thinking.

Her: Thinking about what?

Dude: Thinking about us and that although I really like you, we aren’t going to work out. I don’t want to to date a parent on the team. I want to keep my dates out of my business being a coach. But you can come over tonight and we can talk.

Her: Ok, I’ll come over so we can talk.

ME: If you go over there you will be talking on your back because he already told you the two of you won’t work. He’s doesn’t want to date any parents on the team.

Her: No, he wants to talk so when he calls I’m going over.

Her call to me this morning: Whining…he didn’t call me back.

ME to her: Well, listen to what he said by not calling back. Keep it moving and don’t push up on someone who doesn’t want to be pushed up on!!! The scent of eagerness/desperation on any woman stinks!

Leggs

November 30th, 2009
12:21 pm

@Mo ~ glad you had a good time with your kinfolk and your new niece.

@Rai ~ someone stole your rings….how trifling!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 30th, 2009
12:23 pm

Raqi – Now see you are soo wrong! LOL!

Your rings were stolen?!?!? I was in Richmond and I have an uncle who is a cop. What happened? I can also call “Pookie-n-Nem” to check around if need be! :wink:

Melo

November 30th, 2009
12:23 pm

If you go over there you will be talking on your back

:lol: :lol: :lol:

@Leggs,with that type heifer,if a man phlucks her,its an even bigger problem.

Some females think a man sleeping with them is validation that they luv them….

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 30th, 2009
12:25 pm

Cheating is cool when its not happening to you.. See its no fun when the Rabbit got the gun.. Once you have gone thru a situation where you have been cheated on by the one YOU love.. It Sucks Donkey Ballz.. The random thoughts of your babe being plowed by another dude should be enough to wake you up to cheating.. Its way easier to be honest.. Tell people what you want and expect so when its not there you bounce without the guilty conscience.. I used to be a big cheater but now I tell it upfront as to what it is so the chick can say whether or not she wants to get with this PIMPIN..

SexyCool - Um, yeah. So.

November 30th, 2009
12:26 pm

And the wouldn’t be dating, they’d just have a ’situation’.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 30th, 2009
12:26 pm

Cheaters are also Liars and I didnt want to be affiliated (for real) with being a known liar..

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 30th, 2009
12:28 pm

BlueStock – Thats the Problem.. Too many Dudes acting like B!tches..

SexyCool - Um, yeah. So.

November 30th, 2009
12:28 pm

IDK – That song has been stuck in my head all morning.

Baby boy, can you get with this pimpin’?

That and All the way turned up!!!! – they KEPT playing that during the Tech/GA game Saturday. ~lol~

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 30th, 2009
12:34 pm

Too many Dudes acting like B!tches..

Ain’t that the truth….

Baby boy won’t you get with my pimpiiin…..try it out,try it out…..try it out,yeaaaahh