Meeting the (Crazy) Family
Let’s face facts, people. Some of us come from families that are a little…eccentric. You have to be sure that when you bring someone home for the holidays they can actually handle seeing you in your family element.
If you are brave enough to take someone home for the holidays this week, you should warn them about what to expect. Especially if you have a wide cast of crazy characters in your family that could possibly embarrass you. Let them know what to expect!
Have you ever gone home with your date for the holidays? Did it end well? How do you know if it is a good time to bring someone around your relatives? May I suggest you watch Meet the Fockers for homework before bringing someone over. You can learn what to do when you meet crazy relatives of your date!
Who is the most outrageous family member that you actually worry about introducing your date to?
What are your Thanksgiving Day plans this year?
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351 comments Add your comment
Leggs
November 24th, 2009
10:41 am
@Melo, yes the ex and I are very cordial because that’s how I chose to handle things from day one. I see no need in harboring any palpable bitterness that she can see or feel. I’ve been trying to teach her that all divorces don’t have to be mean, nasty nor ugly. If you want to be cordial especially when children are involved it’s not hard. My dislike for how he handled things has nothing to do with her so she doesn’t need to see that part. She hasn’t seen us argue since the day he moved out (almost 4 years ago).
Menu ~
Fried Turkey (ordered)
Collards
Mac n Cheese
Yams
Rice n Gravy
Cornbread
Cranberry Sauce
Apple Pie
Sweet Potato Pie
Vanilla Ice Cream
(I will have some type of spirits availabe for myself cuz I will need a few). It’s all good, he’s her father. I chose him, I bed him, I had child by him, I married him and then divorced him (LOL). She will never be penalized for what I did!
SexyCool - The Upgrade
November 24th, 2009
10:44 am
Oh, yeah…the spirits. Need to get MND’s input on that. I have what I like. Need to find out if he wants to add to that.
Melo
November 24th, 2009
10:45 am
;.)
Leggs
November 24th, 2009
10:47 am
I applaud all of your doing volunteer work Thanksgiving Day to help another…..CLAP, CLAP, CLAPPING!
@SCool ~ your menus sounds delicious and I’m sure you’ll do just fine.
JtJ
November 24th, 2009
10:48 am
Hello Everyone…….Long, long time no blog!!!! I have been lurking lately mostly after the blog closes. I look for the crazy comments from you all that give me a good laugh for the day.
I just wanted to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving and be safe!!! I am traveling to Albany and Quincy, FL, so I pray that we make it there safe and sound. I am cooking mostly side dishes and pies to take to 2 family dinners. Enjoy your time with your family.
SexyCool - The Upgrade
November 24th, 2009
10:52 am
JtJ – I’ve got family in Quincy. Slow down by my Auntie’ house on Rittman Lane and yell out the window that I said, “Hey!!!”
SexyCool - The Upgrade
November 24th, 2009
10:54 am
I considered doing the HTF volunteering again, but then the cooking thing came up. Didn’t want to be too ambitious.
Wonderwoman
November 24th, 2009
10:57 am
My thanksgiving plans as usual is with the Mom’s family. This is my Mom’s side (the gorgeous lady’s). My mom has three sisters. This is the calmer side of the family (except for the family gossip that women do). My daddy side won’t be visited, too much drama goin on down there!
My dilenma just about every holiday, is actually getting my special “friend” to introduce me to his family. We have been dating for two years and I have not meet his Mom or other family members (except his daughter). I find it odd and a bit frustrating.
Any advise? should I give him to time to bring it up? Is not meeting the family a “red flag?
Raqi
November 24th, 2009
11:00 am
Leggs it’s going to be just you, the lil and the ex? Cool. Are you going to hang out in the kitchen while they spend time together?
SexyCool I was glad when I found out we are going to someone else’s house this year, but after being given all the details just this morning I would gladly fly solo myself and make the full meal.
Tazzee we all got at least on crazy in the family. It just depends on who you ask. LOL
Peachy good luck with that.
My biggest pet peeve with family and gatherings is some folks just don’t know when to go home. And the other is when folks will not regulate their bad kids.
czBrat
November 24th, 2009
11:00 am
GM All!
most important thing i learned when i met the ex-hubb’s fam (and i was NOT forewarned) is that he came from a long line of addicts (drugs and/or alcohol). i was only 17 at the time, so that was a bit overwhelming. current s/o & i both have great fams. they’ve met and we’ve all socialized so it’s all good. thank you God!
Dream_n i recently had my very first grown-up card/domino night so your plans to play after dinner sound GREAT! i think we should do that too.
things have been hectic for me lately so i’m not cooking. i will just make peanut butter/chocolate mini-cheesecakes and my signature cheddar mashed potatoes as an offering to whomever’s doorstep i show up at
my nieces and my brother have all issued invites to their homes, so we’ll be in good company no matter what.
btw …. still haven’t decided if i’ll be making the trip to the s/o to share a lil time @ his Tday throwdown
Melo
November 24th, 2009
11:02 am
I have not meet his Mom or other family members (except his daughter). I find it odd
u got ur answer already,kinda..the fish is smelly for real..2 years????
Careful now,we dont wanna read ’bout ur head being found in the dumpster!
Raqi
November 24th, 2009
11:03 am
Yall talking about those SPIRITS, now you really want folks acting out their true crazy. Liquor tends to make folks a little braver than normal and they lose all sense of tact.
Raqi
November 24th, 2009
11:08 am
I was forewarned of not so much the crazies but the leeches and deadbeats in the family. The ones that always got a sad story and looking for a hand out.
Dream_n- 2 days til turkey day
November 24th, 2009
11:11 am
peanut butter/chocolate mini-cheesecakes
Cbratz.. those sound absolutely delicious..
And do the game thing.. it’s great to unwind after all the family mingling….Plus you can do it at the family gathering.. After all the catching up and food.. incorporate a game and it’ll add a great spin on the evening
czBrat
November 24th, 2009
11:12 am
onderwoman, how old is his daughter?
Raqi i’m feeling bad for you already
Raqi
November 24th, 2009
11:13 am
WonderWoman I was about to say that dude sounds like he is probably married but when you mentioned meeting the daughter that a great indicator that he is not.
Maybe his mother gives women a hard time and he is trying to protect you from that. However, if that’s the case IMO he should be willing to at least introduce you to her and tell her to be on her best behavior.
i'm swiss
November 24th, 2009
11:13 am
“And the other is when folks will not regulate their bad kids.”
Amen to that, Raqi! Makes you want to distribute some beatings for the rug-rats and their non-disciplining parents….
Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)
November 24th, 2009
11:14 am
My dilenma just about every holiday, is actually getting my special “friend” to introduce me to his family. We have been dating for two years and I have not meet his Mom or other family members….Is not meeting the family a “red flag?
There are certain angles from which one could answer this question. Are you two in an exclusive relationship?….has he met your fam? I ask b/c the fact that he’s allowed you to meet his daughter is a big step for some in a relationship. That being said,therein lies my dilemma b/c most people don’t take introducing an SO to their children lightly…so why not the rest of the fam,right?…plus it’s been TWO years. Anyhoo, it could be that he just isn’t ready OR for whatever reason he’s apprehensive about you meeting erryone else….he could possibly be embarassed or something BUUUT whatever you do let HIM be the one to decide when the intro happens…DON’T PRESS. I can understand your wondering if that’s a red flag or not and maybe a conversation needs to be had between you two…just remember not to seem confrontational about it. Ultimately you will have to make a decision on what to do should this not change, just don’t let it be a dicision made rashly in haste.
czBrat
November 24th, 2009
11:14 am
Dream_n my family always does board/trivia games when we gather. the s/o introduced me to spades and dominoes and we had a blast. whatever we do, i know we desperately need the love and laughs this year.
M. (pronounced M dot)
November 24th, 2009
11:14 am
@Wonderwoman
The meeting the family thing is a touchy issue. From a guy’s perspective, a guy is not necessarily quick to bring a woman around his family because maybe he is not that SURE of you and/or CONFIDENT in you and the relationship YET. My mom has only met 1 girl that I ever dated. Guys dont just like to bring a woman around because of 2 reasons:
1. You dont want to be looked at as a guy who is unstable with women. What happens when the next family gathering happens and you are not with him. Suppose if you two break up? He know his nosy Aunt Sally is going to ask a ton of questions and he just doenst want to be bothered.
2. You dont want to come across that you have to many women. It’s ok for your friends to see your dating rotation but your parents wont look at it as the same.
My advice to you, dont worry about him bringing it up to you but also dont frame your plans around him and his thanksgiving either. Have yourself some flexible plans and dont just wait around for him to bring it up. Flip it on him. If you have plans go ahead with them.
SexyCool - The Upgrade
November 24th, 2009
11:18 am
Aw, hell, especially depending on how old the kid is – her being introduced to him could mean diddly squat. Shthead had other chicks around his 5/6 year old kid when he was with me – telling him that they were Daddy’s “friends.”
If you haven’t met any of his folks in TWO YEARS, there is something rotten in the state of Denmark.
Dream_n- 2 days til turkey day
November 24th, 2009
11:19 am
I think I’m with SexyCool
on this one… 2 years is a very long time not to meet the parents.. or hell a cousin or an aunt.
Is family in another country????
Melo
November 24th, 2009
11:21 am
Is family in another country????
Leggs
November 24th, 2009
11:22 am
@Raqi ~ I’ve invited another girlfriend and her daughter over just a little while ago to balance things out for me. She wants her father there and he will be. I don’t want to give the allusion of a happy family sitting down to dinner, so I have to put a little crack (other guests) in the picture just to keep things real.
SexyCool - The Upgrade
November 24th, 2009
11:22 am
Have ya’ met any of his friends? Does he take you OUT? Or do y’all spend quality time inside? (House dating?) Have you been to his house?
czBrat
November 24th, 2009
11:22 am
Wonderwoman my thoughts are that if he daughter is very young and not likely to understand who you are, then if he has something to hide he feels she’s no thread to telling on him. but on the brighter side, if he does not have a good relationship with the rest of his family but his daughter means the world to him, then don’t stress and don’t read too much into his choice to delay your intro to the rest of them.
Raqi
November 24th, 2009
11:23 am
czBrat I have met some of them. The good thing is the worst ones do not live here so they are quite easy to avoid. Just don’t answer their calls. LOL
Back in August when we went on our road trip I met this one cousin that if you talk to her for longer than five minutes she will totally zap every ounce of energy you have with her sad stories. She sorta moves around the room until she can find someone she can trap into listening. Unfortunately that particular day I was the trapped one. When you look back you notice things. Every time she walked up to someone or a group of people with seconds they were finding reasons to walk away. She cornered me and I was stuck. I didn’t know anyone else there to at least pretend like I had something to go tell someone else and Mase had left the house. My break came when the baby woke up and needed changing. LOL
Thankfully I will not have to worry about her this holiday, however I don’t really know what to expect because we are going the God-mother’s house and the only other people I will know outside of Mase is the one cousin who just so happen to be a god-son of hers also.
czBrat
November 24th, 2009
11:24 am
“his” and “threat”. sorry
Raqi
November 24th, 2009
11:26 am
a guy is not necessarily quick to bring a woman around his family
M dot a guy does not know after two years of dating a woman if she’s the one or not?
Professor~First again?
November 24th, 2009
11:26 am
@Dan~ I have a few onions you can chop before heading down to Hosea…
@Dream~ my mom cooks this chicken with no head and puts dressing around it. For some reason that made me laugh…I would not eat a chicken with a head on have you seen a real chicken before? My grandma used to have biddies I even had a pet chicken before.
@MYTWO things like that gives HR a bad name…I really hate to hear that…being fair and consistent is a must…respect is a must…personal feelings aside.
@Scool…I think we should give “MND” a new name he is no longer new…he is fitting right in with your like…I would say “MD” but let me think some more.
Hey Melo!
Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)
November 24th, 2009
11:26 am
most important thing i learned when i met the ex-hubb’s fam (and i was NOT forewarned) is that he came from a long line of addicts (drugs and/or alcohol). i was only 17 at the time, so that was a bit overwhelming
Aaawww then,why they do the baby like that? I’ve been around a family here that’s JUST LIKE THAT and I was full grown when I met them so I can only imagine enduring that as a 17 yr.old cz. I promise you I was sitting there the whole time thinking to myself “they crazy”…and I’m talking from the grand mama to the itty bitty baby.
Raqi
November 24th, 2009
11:29 am
Have ya’ met any of his friends? Does he take you OUT? Or do y’all spend quality time inside? (House dating?) Have you been to his house?
WonderWoman, in other words SexyCool is asking you “Is he married?” LOL
Melo
November 24th, 2009
11:29 am
czBrat,any man/woman who does not have a good relatiosnhip with any of his fam members,unless they are all murders and so ville, u gotta have ??????.
Now u are a man/woman coming and looking in,why even be tempted to be on her/his side..why bother??
If it were me, im taking my side, im walking….instead of wondering about sme thats not mine.
Raqi
November 24th, 2009
11:30 am
LOL Leggs. Yeah cracks indicate separation.
SexyCool - The Upgrade
November 24th, 2009
11:31 am
Prof – I have been thinking that exact same thing.
Leggs
November 24th, 2009
11:32 am
LOL @Dan. I too have never eaten a chicken with it’s head still on.
@SCool, you have mail.
czBrat
November 24th, 2009
11:32 am
I promise you I was sitting there the whole time thinking to myself “they crazy”…and I’m talking from the grand mama to the itty bitty baby.
ROFLMAO
SassyMe i cannot tell you how much i needed that belly laugh! but yeah, his fam is chock full. and they’re a bunch of mean drunks. throughout our 18 years together i left his family gatherings in tears more than once.
Raqi sounds like you figured out how to handle his gente, so why are you reluctant to go?
M. (pronouced M dot)
November 24th, 2009
11:34 am
@Raqi
“a guy does not know after two years of dating a woman if she’s the one or not?”
I think they are still getting to know each other and the jury can still be out. I think so many people value the opinions of their families that they are waiting to see something in their SO that shows them that this is the one for sure…no doubt about it.
Also I think a guy could be scarred to bring her around his family and mother because your family does not have the LOVE GOGGLES on like you do…therefore, they can see through your SO alot better than you. So in that sense, reality will kinda of set in.
Like if you bring your guy around your dad, your dad can spot a player.
Like if you bring your girl around your mom, your mom can spot an alter motive.
Like for me, I am a twin. My twin sister is good at screening women for me, picking up the nonverbal language and stuff that I may not see. Get it?
Melo
November 24th, 2009
11:35 am
hey Proff!
Dream_n- 2 days til turkey day
November 24th, 2009
11:37 am
Prof
When I re-read it, it did sound kinda odd.. lol.
It’s a full body chicken with no head. She used to scare us with it when we were younger!
Raqi
November 24th, 2009
11:40 am
czBrat because I just found out this morning that we will be driving to her other house in Virginia. That’s a 9 hour drive that I am not looking forward to. Not to mention the cousin and his wife will be tagging along. I thought the dinner was going to be here at her Georgia house. I didn’t know she had another house 500 miles away.
I was looking forward to still being at home tomorrow and then driving to her house Thursday afternoon. It’s not that I don’t want to go. I don’t want to take the drive there and back. It’s totally messes up my plans.
SexyCool - The Upgrade
November 24th, 2009
11:42 am
Dream’n – I don’t know anybody who bakes a chicken with the head still on.
Wonderwoman
November 24th, 2009
11:43 am
SexyCool- His daughter is, or will be eight, mine is nine. I don’t know why I let it drag on for two years ( I do know why: I really like him, and I’m trying to be patient). We do go out like we have been out of town together with the kids and everything. But its odd because he is a family good, he spends time with his cousins and he is close to his mom. When I have brought the issue up he has said his mom don’t like people over, so he rarely brings people by (never heard that reasoning). And he says there is plenty of time for meeting the fam. I have never been in a situation where the Mom doesn’t want to meet someone you’re dating,exspecially since I have been around the grand-daughter grandchild.
Thanks for the advise everybody
Professor~First again?
November 24th, 2009
11:43 am
Dream-LOL it was so funny. The cook in me thinks your mom is baking a hen with some cornbread dressing on the side.
Melo
November 24th, 2009
11:44 am
I don’t want to take the drive there and back. It’s totally messes up my plans.
Raqi!!???
woman,tho shalt obey thee thy husband!!
(wheres that verse from thumpers?)
Raqi
November 24th, 2009
11:44 am
think they are still getting to know each other and the jury can still be out
M dot so what have they been doing for the past two years (730 days, 104 weeks) if not getting to know each other?
I think so many people value the opinions of their families
Naaah, after two years (in fact even less than that) you should be telling your family this is who I have chosen to be with, either like it or shut up.
SexyCool - The Upgrade
November 24th, 2009
11:46 am
Wonderwoman – Patience is a virtue and everything, but it should also have a frickin’ expiration date.
Dan
November 24th, 2009
11:46 am
Um, 2 years, not meeting the family? Ion know, smell fishy.
After 2 years, that’s proposal time to me(unless we jus been “dating” in the nocturnal visit sense).
@Prof
No onions for the kid, I do not need my nose that wide open for that event. Matter of fact, I’m thinking about catching a cold.
Wonderwoman
November 24th, 2009
11:47 am
I’m pretty sure he’s not married. I have been to his house. Maybe he takes the family more serious, like only a wifey will meet the fam.
He has meet my Mom and brother. Not dad.
czBrat
November 24th, 2009
11:48 am
Melo, of course it’s going to depend on the reason for the distant relationship. if her s/o is someone who wants to better himself but his fam thinks that makes him uppity and has never been supportive, then that’s something you’re going to understand and probably side with him. if there was a history of abuse that he has had a difficult time overcoming or something they feel he should just accept and/or hide, that would be another reason he is distant from you but should you “walk” because of that? i’m just saying, there could be circumstances.