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She’s All In

Sometimes women have a hard time just outright admitting how much she likes someone.  Although we really don’t like it when men do it to us, we can be just as bad with sending a guy mixed signals and being vague.

So how can men tell when a woman really likes him? Sadly, just because she is agreeing to go out on a date doesn’t necessarily mean she actually likes you.  There are other ways to tell she is happy you are in her life though:

1. She is genuinely concerned about your well-being. You may notice that she pays attention to something you need and then fulfill those needs.

2. She doesn’t criticize you harshly.  Women definitely pay attention to your behavior and can see when you are acting like a bonehead.  When she likes you, she can call you out in a respectful manner, handling your ego with care.

3. She doesn’t make outrageous demands on you to prove to her you like her.  A really smart woman does not require a man to spend a boatload of cash on her. In fact, when she really likes you, she will treat you and pay for things. If you feel like a sponsor after only a few months of dating, it’s probably because you are.

Ladies, how can men tell when a woman really likes him? How do you let a man know that you are truly interested? What ways to you show him?

Men, do you know when a woman is leading you on? Can you tell when she is interested in you, for who you are?

It’s not fun being used by anyone, how can we manage to avoid that in dating?

241 comments Add your comment

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
8:58 am

Happy Monday!

How do you let a man know that you are truly interested? What ways to you show him?

Hmmm I don’t do anything special to let a person know that I am interested…I just tell him I am interested…the end

Although I am a bit shy I will say this if I am interested in a man it always comes out sooner or later. Plus whatever we do is fun to me whether we ride around looking at houses and tripping out, or if I show him some of the hidden treasures here in GA…simply put the ability to enjoy each other’s company without all the bravado.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
8:58 am

Ohhhh me first!

???

November 23rd, 2009
9:21 am

So, it’s just the men you don’t like that you want to spend boatloads of cash on you? Why don’t I find this surprising?

abc

November 23rd, 2009
9:27 am

This is a crazy post, WD. What gives? Did you get kicked in the head at the rodeo or something?

M. (pronoucned M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
9:32 am

This is an interesting topic. As you said WD, “just because she is agreeing to go out on a date doesn’t necessarily mean she actually likes you”. This is true because women will take a free dinner even if they dont like a guy. Just because she goes out with me doesnt mean she likes me, it just means she is human and has an appetitie!

Men, do you know when a woman is leading you on? Can you tell when she is interested in you, for who you are?

Honestly, it is hard to know when a woman is leading you on. But one aspect to always watch out for is the flakiness. If a woman is acting flakely or playing the busy game, she really is not that interested.

It’s not fun being used by anyone, how can we manage to avoid that in dating?
I think from a male perspective, we can avoid being used by simply not giving to much to fast and to early. Guys need to qualify women more rather than automatically give them everything. We have to not put so much stock into her early. That way if it doesnt work out, then we really havent lost much. I did not say dont put any EFFORT into dating her, but I am saying dont give her your life either. A common mistake that I have made and I am sure other guys have made is giving a woman to much UNWARRANTED attention to soon. Let them earn your time guys and stop being so eager!

NY2GA, Inc.

November 23rd, 2009
9:38 am

Maybe it’s the way I’m reading this, but wondering if someone ‘likes me’ seems kind of high schoolish. Grown folks take the risk, throw the signals and test the waters. By this stage in the game we’ve learned to know who is interested us and who isn’t because our advances have either been accepted or rejected over the years. If our efforts are rejected. We keep on truckin’-

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
9:50 am

Three Words Daily – Know the rules.

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
10:07 am

GM All!

I’m with Professor on this one. What’s wrong with me just telling you how I feel and you trusting that I’m not playing games???

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
10:11 am

M.Dot – Cosigning the last paragraph of your 932a. It goes both ways.

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
10:16 am

M.

Great comment.

As far as the “leading me on” she can only take me as far as I let her.

If I’m fool enough to invest heavily in someone without any (or not enough) reciprocity, then that’s on me.

I only bet what I can afford to lose.

‘Supper Folks!

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
10:23 am

I only bet what I can afford to lose

right on the money!

Morning gang!!

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
10:23 am

He likes me, he likes me not, he likes me, he likes me not

Morning all!

NY2GA, Inc. pretty much summed it up for me….

LMAO in ATL

November 23rd, 2009
10:26 am

This has to be either the funniest or saddest column I have ever read about relationships. It’s obvious the author has never had a “real” relationship with a “real” man, and at least half or the posters haven’t either. All this posturing, posing, preening and pouting! No wonder you’re confused.
This is the “dating scene you people subscribe to? Really? Really!?!

Real people are confident enough to let other people know who they are, and are strong enough to handle the truth.

Real people don’t need validation from a date or a GF/BF.

Real people know that if you’re looking for something specific, the odds of finding what you’re looking for decrease.

Real people don’t need to play games, and they will leave you flat on your arse if you start playing them, unless they just want a short term companion for a specific reason.

If you really want to get to know someone, and see how compatible you are, take a trip together for 3 or 4 days. And not a 5 star resort. Something a little grittier. Go on a few dates that take you out of your comfort zones. Loosen up and have a real conversation.
Real men can handle the occasional emotional outburst. But if you’re psycho, go get treatment, or he will leave you flat on your arse in heartbeat.

It sounds like the author and half of the respondents on here never emotionally left high school.

That’s my two cents. And I’m secure enough to say it.

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
10:30 am

Good morning everyone! I have played chauffeur the ENTIRE weekend. I think I need to get lil leggs a bigger bike (j/k).

Anyway, I’m one for telling you I like you with verbal and non-verbal communication. My time spent with you, my attentiveness to your likes and dislikes will tell you if I’m interested.

@M ~ you are on point with your last paragraph.

For Real

November 23rd, 2009
10:36 am

What up Blog Fam! Dating is just not that hard people. You see, you like, you ask then go from there….

Real people wipe the back of their ears and then smell their fangas

Real people dig into their nose and thump boogers

Real people dig food out between their teeth and eat it

Sorry I couldn’t help myself

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
10:37 am

I agree with M (dot). Yes, many women would take free dinners even if they don’t like the guy. They say if a guy “wants to pay for my company, I let him” (someone’s exact words). Do the women actually make it clear to these guys that that’s why they are going out with him???

LMAO has some valid points too (real people are confident enough to let other people know who they are, and are strong enough to handle the truth and don’t need validation from a date or a GF/BF).

Yes, I did leave the above-mentioned girl “flat on her arse in a heartbeat”.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
10:37 am

Folks I think we have to factor in all of the players when we talk about the datinggame:

So here are a few of the players, which I feel cause people to hold back and not say how they feel because they are afraid of being hurt or taken advantage of:

1. Wounded…once bitten twice-shy person…this person is ready but afraid to make the first move. They are simply protecting themselves from hurt and pain.

2. Just want company type…if you can’t be with the one you love than love the one you with person this person has not dealt with their heartache and just want someone there to ease the pain. If you date this person you are merely being a court jester as this person (a) get back with the one they love or (b) find someone more compatible.

3. Looking for $$$ or S3X…money money money money as the O’jays say it or you sing Lyfe with me girl (insert boy) its just your s.e.x we have all seen this person around town…looking for the vulnerable and the low self esteem person to use and sometimes abuse.

4. Lame goes Hollywood…Atlanta can make those that were once lame in high school become top tier with the right clothes, car etc. Well these folks are superficial and they are only looking for someone cute to hang on their arm, because they never had the cheerleader or jock in high school so now it is a game to conquer and see what they missed out on

5. Firecracker…The romance starts off hot and heavy and it crash quickly. Like a firecracker it lights up the sky and it is beautiful, but it goes out fast and it leaves the participant feeling like what happened. Nothing happened you started out hot, fast and heavy and the life cycle played out.

Now you might ask, Professor I have experienced this before and why so. Well my darling you did not take time to analyze your date. Also I will add it is possible to experience one or more of these at the same time!

:wink:

dw

November 23rd, 2009
10:41 am

Well dayum (in my Gucci voice), I guess she likes me!

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
10:42 am

If I don’t like you, I’m not eating with you! You can keep your dining dollars.

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
10:45 am

I usually take a woman out for drinks or coffee (depending on the time of day) on the first date. That way, we can see if we have enough compatibility/chemistry (from both sides) to go on a second one. After 3 dates, I see if she at least offers to pitch in (eg., cover the tip or pay for drinks if I pay for dinner, etc.). If not… :(

I do see many women trying to talk me into taking them to a concert or a fancy restaurant on the first date. They never get a call back.

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
10:46 am

Leggs, good and respectable attitude, but not many think like that… :)

Jeff

November 23rd, 2009
10:52 am

Re: LMAO in ATL…

Thanks for saving me all the typing. Couldn’t have said it better and won’t try.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
10:52 am

What happens, if, after three dates, she doesn’t offer to pay anything but on Date Four cooks you a homemade meal?

And once, you become intimate and you start staying over and waking up some Saturday mornings at her house and she makes breakfast on those mornings, do you offer to buy some milk and eggs after the third time?

I’m just saying…

Luvbug

November 23rd, 2009
11:03 am

Using past relationships…and considering things I have done (just my natural/knee jerk responses) in the past when I enjoyed a guys company

1. I am available to hang out with you on the regular bases.
2. If I trust you, I fall back and am agreeable, not because I want you to lead or because I’m scared, but because I trust you to lead and I feel secure with you (and your ability to lead)…I try to contain it…but sometimes I get all old school girly
3. On small matters, I take one for the team (don’t call you out), even when you’re wrong… For instance, if we end up being the couple barely making the intro and needing the usher with the flashlight to get us to our seats cuz you took a “shortcut” to get us there…sorry I digressed…but you know what I mean…speed walkin in the isles, bumpin folks knees and blockin the view and whatnot.

I can’t say that these are mature or good/bad signs, but just observations about myself.

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
11:03 am

I think it’s sad that just because one is hungry one would accept a date and blatanly use someone for a meal or even a chance to get out of the house. Hell, stay home and cook yourself something to eat and entertain your damn self. Sorry, I don’t like using people.

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
11:04 am

but on Date Four cooks you a homemade meal?

shes In,…I mean In….She’s All In

aint that right WD??

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
11:05 am

Yes, I certainly would, SexyCool. What I meant was whether she actually brings something to the table (not necessarily money). I thought that was implied.

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
11:07 am

I think it’s sad that just because one is hungry one would accept a date and blatanly use someone for a meal or even a chance to get out of the house.

Now that’s some funny ish.. Men using women for s!x and women using men for a plate…

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
11:07 am

Sexycool, there’s nothing that says “I care about you” than cooking them a meal. That’s awesome and far surpasses any pitching she would do with money!

Leggs, sad as it does seem, going out just because one gets a free meal is much more common than you would think!

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
11:09 am

“Men using women for s!x and women using men for a plate…”

Dream, that’s true, except some women eat the meal and go home – without “give it up”. My ex used to do that to her ex.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
11:11 am

Dream your 11:07 says it all! Not to mention we do have some hungry men out here on the dating scene as well.

I will add this to the topic…If I know someone is going through a difficult time, problems at work, death in the family, winter blues etc. I will chime in and treat them to a nice dinner…maybe homemade or a decent steak if that is something they like. However I have seen some folks try to even take advantage of that small gesture.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:13 am

Oh…and on the concert thing, if it’s a concert that I want to see, I’m paying.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
11:15 am

I think I have been sheltered…after three dates do folks really spend the night with each other and cook breakfast in the morning…I was thinking you send them packing to Ihop or something?

I cannot see anyone sleeping on my sheets after three dates and using things around my home I am still trying to get to know them I don’t need to meet their body parts that soon and have their dead skin cells falling around my house.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
11:17 am

Scool~ are you paying for both tickets or will you suggest going dutch as it relates to the concert?

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
11:18 am

@Prof

I have the winter blues, and like my steak medium rare…..

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:19 am

And on the going out for a meal with someone that I didn’t like, that was a waste of my life. I’d rather stay at home and eat a bologna sandwich than spend my time with someone who I don’t want to be interested in.

That being said, I have allowed some of my FZ dudes treat me to the occasional meal and am perfectly fine with it. (They knew what position they played when they called me up and asked me out.)

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
11:20 am

Professor…

We must have been sheltered in the same location then :smile:

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:21 am

Prof – If I like a dude enough to suggest a concert to him, then I am going to pay for both tickets.

Otherwise, I won’t even mention it other than to say, “Yeah, me and my bff are going to the concert next week.”

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
11:21 am

Good tying the topic into the post, Melo!

Be Still and Let God

November 23rd, 2009
11:24 am

PEER PRESSURE

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools will be destroyed.”
Proverbs 13:20 (KJV)

Monday November 23

Today’s Focus: Spiritual Life

Peer pressure is often viewed negatively; however, there is a positive aspect. The old adage, “Association leads to assimilation” is quite true. We become like those we hang around. If you want to grow spiritually, surround yourself with individuals who are actively praying, reading the Word, and aiming to live a life that is pleasing to God. Their influence will inspire you to walk the same path. Likewise, avoid inner associations with individuals whose primary focus is selfish ambition: acquiring wealth and material gain to enhance personal pleasure. Their persuasion will lead you outside God’s will (James 4:3). Remember, “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.”

Today’s Thought: To grow spiritually, build associations with people who are spiritual.

Today’s Prayer: “Lord, help me identify companions who will encourage my spiritual growth!”

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
11:26 am

@Dan…LOL…shall I add a baked potato and what kind of salad dressing would you like?

@Dream…thanks for the 11:20 I thought I was a prude or something.

@Scool that is nice for you to pay for both tickets…I guess I am stingy…I would go dutch in that situation.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:27 am

On the date three/four staying the night and cooking breakfast, I wasn’t necessarily grouping those dates together – although I have done it.

You can very easily cook someone a simple meal and send them home without taking them to bed. I have done that too.

However, at the point, that I decide that I like you enough to bump and grind on you, I have no problem cooking you a meal. Hell, I woke up hungry and I’m sure you did too. If I ever slept with a dude and sent him home before the night was over or sent him out the door without at least offering to make breakfast the next morning, he didn’t get the job done. (And wasn’t invited back – lol)

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
11:28 am

Also, whenever out to dinner with a guy and he’s paying I always ofer to leave the tip! Only fair!

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
11:32 am

Leggs, that’s right!

SCool: If I ever slept with a woman and sent her home the next morning without at least offering to make breakfast, she didn’t get the job done (this does happen)… :)

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
11:33 am

@SexyCool – Definitely All In

“That being said, I have allowed some of my FZ dudes treat me to the occasional meal and am perfectly fine with it. (They knew what position they played when they called me up and asked me out.)”

Question for you and everyone, isn’t this a form of the using also? Do you ever treat some of your FZ guys out? Be honest. It’s intriguing because like I said, a woman does not have to like you to let you take her out. And also it is kinda the guy’s fault for letting this happen?

I see this alot in Atlanta where women kinda want the benefits of a relationship but since they don’t have it all in 1 package yet with the guy they want, they PIECE it together. Jason is her dinner guy. Joe is her concert guy. Bob is her movie guy.

I think if a guy is in the FZ he shouldn’t have to treat a woman to anything because you guys are friends. I would aim my energy and resources towards a woman I actually have a chance with. But like I said, if a guy allows this, its his fault.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
11:34 am

As for the paying vs. not paying for a date. My Daddy always told me not to go anywhere depending on anybody. So I always have my money to pay for my dinner when I go out and he told me you always have enough money to get back home. So I cannot see not offering to pay. Also I will say this I think it is childish to keep tabs on who pay and how often. If I invite a guy out I reach for the ticket.

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
11:34 am

LOL @ Dan 11:18

All I can say is, ‘figuring out’ what’s up with the other person is so 20 years ago for me at this point. What happened to communication? As Leggs said, the verbal AND the non-verbal. Be honest about what each wants and where you’re headed. If what (s)he is saying does not jibe with what they are doing, make a common sense decision and act accordingly.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:39 am

M.Dot – Notice I said “occasional.” And whereas I may or may not have actually taken them out and paid for a meal, I have had them over for dinner or given them free help on their resumes (something that I do as a business and get paid rather well for) or offered to pass their resumes along if they were looking for employment or sent them referrals for their various business interests, invited them to my house for holiday meals and/or parties and bbq’s, bought them a drink if I ran into them out on the town and I could go on.

You know, sht I would do for a friend.

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
11:41 am

lol…WD i have female friends that do the same thing in your list…and they have ZERO intrerest in my O face….lol…i really know when a women is interest when i leave the babies across her pearly whites….until then she is a friend..lol

LURKER

November 23rd, 2009
11:42 am

Professor… While you are cooking for everyone could you find some time and teach dreamn how to cook!

Where is my JAMACO?
Where is RED/AMAZON? How is magnnum treating you? I mean marcuussss!

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
11:43 am

If I ever slept with a dude and sent him home before the night was over or sent him out the door without at least offering to make breakfast the next morning, he didn’t get the job done. (And wasn’t invited back

so in ur estimation,sexually the dude was not salvageable??

Maaane,!!!! :) what was he doing all nite?? smdh and in deep thoght right now,ur pic, in ma mind and thinking real hard??? :lol:

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
11:43 am

@sexyc…why are you explaining yaself…you are the bestest friend a guy could have…and you loyal den a mofo…i love you!!!!….and if anybody got a prollem SEE ME…lol

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
11:43 am

Call me a lame, a prude, stuck up (which I was called this past saturday, or any other name in the book… but you are not getting in after 3 or 4 dates. What isn’t that like a month and a half????

Leggs
That’s what I used to do with the ex (pay for the tip)…

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
11:44 am

@ Lurker… Funny funny.. I’m actually in training. but thanx for look’n out :)

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
11:45 am

wayyyyy off topic…where is the outrage over that hom o closing to the AMA last night….i mean we are cosigning this moist boot ish way too much

but props to my new wet dreams – rihanna..wow…and alicia keys…

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:46 am

Rell – Whassup, Family? Just answering the question asked. LOL!

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
11:47 am

@Dream…LOL I have been called and those names and some added. At the end of the day after 3 or 4 dates 4-8 weeks I am not trying to go there with dude. That is just too soon for the kid.

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
11:48 am

Call me a lame, a prude, stuck up (which I was called this past saturday, or any other name in the book… but you are not getting in after 3 or 4 dates

- lol…yes ladies hold on to your moist holes…lol…is that all you are….why the big focus on when he going to hit…versus showing him all that you are….if you like me i will hit….if you spend money on me i will hit….so why all this he going to wait x amount of time BS….if i have to wait longer then 21 days then its not happening…we friends…and i am cool with that….

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:48 am

Dream’n – You do it your way. I’ll do it mine.

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
11:50 am

@ RELL

It’s not about setting a time table… It’s about people and their own personal preferences.
You do it your and I do it mines.
Hell if I give it up easy… I’m a hoe
If I wait… I’m a prude
So you know what… If you don’t like my approach go get it the way you can…

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
11:51 am

hey all you FAKE prude type chicks need to stop…..in this dating climate now….i am getting that georgia dome date one….come off it…women are selling it for that secure dollar…yes even you type that claim prudish behavior…LMAO..you ladies are dillusional…lol…i have seen it go down sooner rather than later with my eyes…lol….hilarious…by date 4 you might still be around the way things are going out here….lol..and you make it to date 8 were in a relationship by that date…lol

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
11:53 am

@Prof

I’m trying to eat healthier – so some brown rice would do it.

@MDot

This (11:33am) is what dudes are on these days. Why would I let you label me a friend and then be dumb enough to treat you as a more than that.

That’s why some women try and get over these days; cause dude’s are playing WAAAAYYYY out of pocket.

@Brat

I don’t have to figure anyone else out. This is my world, you sign up to play in it or not. Either way As-Salamu Alaykum.

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
11:55 am

@Dream_n, I’ve been teaching my neighbor (she just turned 35) how to cook. I’ve never tasted such bland, unappealing looking food in my life. Have faith you will learn how to cook. It starts with a desire to want to know how! I see you have that.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:56 am

Hell, I’ll even visit my friend in the hospital and take him flowers.

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
11:58 am

@Dream_n, I’ve been called all those names (perhaps most women have) simply because I won’t settle….oh well! I’ve settled once in my life, can’t do it a second time.

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
11:59 am

@Dream

It’s [life] not about anyone else’s expectation or judgment. You live it how you feel it.

That is, if you’re in the mood on date 1,2, or 6 – act. And if it takes til date 17, that’s on you too. But being considered a “ho3″ or a “prude” is a completely arbitrary standard.

And after the 9th grade does it really matter what other people think about you?

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
11:59 am

@ Rell.. lmao you are a funny dude

Your post exudes the type of calibur of women you entertain, and that’s totally okay. I am not knocking anyone for the way they live their life…

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
12:05 pm

Dream I am with you on that 11:50, not to mention this is my body and I refuse to let some limp dyck sucker tell me what to do with my body after some chips and dip. I have always felt that my body was the Lord’s temple and I refuse to let everyone I meet have a little playtime with me????? That is crazy with all of the diseases going on and not to mention those that don’t take care of themselves…annual visits to the doctor…seeing the dentist twice a year etc.

As for spending money my blog fan club are aware on where I stand so there is no need for me to worry about some broke down joker pinching off his bill money hoping he will get lucky because he just paid for dinner. Social prostitution is not me dinner does not equal S3X. ?????

For Real

November 23rd, 2009
12:12 pm

Dream: “but you are not getting in after 3 or 4 dates.” – What if I gave you a chico-stick?

For Real

November 23rd, 2009
12:13 pm

S3X = Sex 3 times?

LURKER ( Cobweb Remover)

November 23rd, 2009
12:13 pm

After 3 or 4 dates I am hitting dat azz! We are going to seal the deal and I will make sure you enjoy it to the fullest! I am too please!
It is my duty to hit and please dat booty!

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
12:14 pm

type of calibur of women you entertain

- we back on the type…i mess with your type…lol…..you ladies are no different really…all this projecting is funny

@prof…how did you know i used chips and dip and magaritas to stick em on there knees…lol…seem like someone must have tried you “like a freak at a cut part”….lol….the lord temple…question do your curse…do you drink….have you smoked weed….if you answered yes to any of the above….then you faking…the lords temple…why when the convo turns to sex or how quick you should do it…the dayum “kirk franklin” come out of black women….lol

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
12:16 pm

@Prof

I’m fairly certain you wouldn’t let some “limp dyck sucker” that far into your life, or would you?

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
12:16 pm

I’m panicking….I can’t find my damn pound cake recipe.

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
12:17 pm

@lurker…most men should be able to hit either on date one or prior to it…we usually talk to much and give her reason not to those legs in the air….i have alot of female friends and things i hear…i am like dang dude is lucky..they are usually every time they see you if you handling your biz and giving her the FEELINGS she needs..its all a FEELING thing with the woman….so if i am giving her the warm fuzzies then i am hitting period…so i wish chicks like ol quasamoto would get off this fakery

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
12:19 pm

Rell Now how do you know I love chico sticks.. the candy that is …lol

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
12:19 pm

You want mine, SCool?

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
12:19 pm

well looks my post are being watched

basically i said – men you can hit the first night..we talk ourselves out of the fun….if you giving her the FEELINGS that she needs…then you should be able to hit without all the checklist…thats what its about feelings….

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
12:22 pm

Please, please – you know the email addy and if you’ve got a red velvet send that one along too. (Although, that may be a little bit ambitious – considering doing red velvet as cupcakes.)

(You’re a lifesaver – LOVING ya!!!!)

For Real

November 23rd, 2009
12:23 pm

Dream: “Now how do you know I love chico sticks.. the candy that is” – Awwwww yeah, chico sticks, red kool-aid and the Commodores. I’m gon make you love me!

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
12:28 pm

SexyC.. I was going to direct you to the local grocery store.. The have a nice pound cake in the aisle where all the desserts are… I forgot what the brand was, but it tastes homemade after being unthawed. It has a red top and in comes in a tin pan. :grin:

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
12:29 pm

@Dan…we do have some folks out there that lead two lives and put on a different persona so you never know.

@Rell you know I don’t even recognize you. IMO you are the epitome of ignorance. You cannot have a decent conversation without going off on the deep end. So please do not ask me any questions and I will do likewise. OK? Because if you notice I do not blog with you…I was raised if you play with trash you get your hands dirty.

…stepping away to wash and sanitize my hands…even my keyboard feel grimy after typing to you YUCK!

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
12:29 pm

See how folk that don’t cook do ya’. LMAO!!!

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
12:30 pm

WOW! Today’s generalizations are truly astounding. I reazile this blog is for people to share dating experiences, but just how bad are things out there? Is there no tolerance for each person’s right to choose what suits them (and their body) best without coming under attack?

For the rare woman who is selective and patient with her decision to become intimate, there is also the rare man who will value and respect that. For everyone else, there is the BS that some of you are bragging and complaining about.

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
12:30 pm

basically i said – men you can hit the first night..we talk ourselves out of the fun….if you giving her the FEELINGS that she needs…then you should be able to hit without all the checklist…thats what its about feelings…

Please spare me this foolishness… This only applies to a woman with low self esteem issues, that’s in need of a man to make her feel worthy…. So if that’s the case.. a mere “I could marry you” will have her droping the drawers in 2.5 seconds..

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
12:31 pm

Dream that is a good pound cake…I use that one when I make strawberry shortcake in the summertime and I don’t feel like baking

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
12:32 pm

yea i see you did not answer those questions…its only a lords temple when a dude trying to screw you….seems like you have been on the wrong end of a couple exchanges…dont worry lady it happens to the best of us…i am ignorant…lol…lmao…going off the deep end…why because i can see thru your BS…lol…

LURKER ( Cobweb Remover)

November 23rd, 2009
12:32 pm

Leggs… That cobweb remover statement is for you! I am available to eat food and other things this weekend! UN-ZIIIPPPPPPPP!

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
12:33 pm

CzBrat…so true I agree with your 12:30

Dream…so true that is why I gave a list of players in the dating game on my 10:37

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
12:33 pm

czB – girl, you a’ight wit’ me. We gone have to hang out sometime. ~lol~

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
12:36 pm

For the rare woman who is selective and patient with her decision to become intimate, there is also the rare man who will value and respect that

- LMAO…your right….i value a womens choice and i respect them all..but what i cant stand is folks only giving me one side of the coin….like there is not another part that exist – plus i willing to bet some of you polly perfects have experienced being that jumpoff..so why we adults know that its not all about screwing for fun…why not talk about how you came thru to know..versus proclaiming you have never been dirtied or hurt..thats what makes my arse itch…all this bs…hell i even had a weekend vistor that tried the whole weekend to give it to me..but after a couple of drinks and her loose mouth about her recent sexual exploits i passed….i did not want my turn on the bicycle i just looked out and provide her temporary room and board…see even us “trash men” can clean up nice…beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeench!!!

LURKER

November 23rd, 2009
12:38 pm

Wise One…. How was the rodeo? Did you go with a male or female? Did you learn how to ride cowgirl style? This will help you with securing a long term relationship! :smile:

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
12:40 pm

@ CBRTAZ … Ahhh.. a breathe of fresh air :)

LURKER

November 23rd, 2009
12:44 pm

Dreamn everytime you post about food you are picking something up at the grocery store! I am sending you a cookbook for Christmas! :wink:

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
12:45 pm

@ Rell..

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I will again speak about me!

NO, matter of fact HEll NO!!

I have never been a man’s jumpoff, FWB, night girl, casual sexer, quick lay or any other name you want to appoint…

Why is it so hard for you to understand, that S!X is not at the top of some women’s list of things to accomplish if a man shows his “feelings” to her… come on now..

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
12:47 pm

@Dream_n that post about Sara Lee Pound Cake had me howling. No you didn’t!! I’m hungry! Time for lunch.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
12:50 pm

Dream…girl some folks don’t get it and I learned a long time ago you cannot argue with a fool

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
12:55 pm

@ Leggs.. there you go! Sara Lee.. lol

LMAO in ATL

November 23rd, 2009
12:56 pm

I’m still LMAO in ATL – these comments are getting better and better.

You know, you get what you look for people.

Don’t want a playa, don’t be a playa.

Want a friend, be a friend.

Want to get married? Work on yourself, to make yourself “marriage material” instead of looking for “marriage material” (when you are probably not in their league yet) and oh yeah, meet a lot of new people. As friends.

You need to get some? Then get some. Just don’t confuse the two and be surprised when prince charming turns out to be the pumpkin, when the whole time you’re the cleaning lady hiding behind the “princess” you think that you’re projecting. (Men aren’t fooled ladies.)

I needs repeating. You want real? Be real.

You want to date and have fun. Do it. Plenty of ups and downs, so what?

You want companionship, no physical relationship. You can probably find someone into that too.

You want a life partner? Be partnership material.

Just leave the HS BS behind. Some people do grow up. Maybe it’s time you should start?

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
1:01 pm

btw Dream_n …. update that countdown :)

(why am i not surprised that the responses to my ‘grow up!’ post are the mature, responsible ladies of the blog)

also liking your 12:56 LMAO

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
1:01 pm

LUAO in ATL??

u male or female??

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
1:04 pm

czBrat,u back from the mtns??

hw was the weather up there??…tell me u were skin to skin up there! :lol:

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
1:06 pm

I will say this – this society is way too weird about sex.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
1:07 pm

Melo you better hush before Uncle Peaches get you.

czBrat I hope you had a wonderful birthday weekend too!

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
1:08 pm

@SexyCool – Definitely All In

Good point. So when guys are in the FZ, is there ever any coming back? I think thats the hardest thing in the world is to get out of the friend zone.

Another thing I notice that women in Atlanta are pulling is when they meet a guy, they want to be friends first. I dont think they mean that. If its a guy they really like, they want to date him not be his friend.

Thoughts?

@Dan

True that.

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
1:13 pm

thanx.. cbratz.

I am welcoming this very short week.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
1:21 pm

M.Dot – I have slipped and fell on an FZ dizzle in the past, but it didn’t bring them out of the zone.

And I’m not going to tell a guy that I truly believe there could be something with that I want to be friends first. (I refuse to intentionally place MYself in the FZ.) Because if I say that, then I have just put into place different rules of engagement on how we interact and I have forfeited some of my rights. (lol) And IF I say that to a dude, I have determined that I have very little romantic interest in him.

LURKER

November 23rd, 2009
1:29 pm

To WISE DIVA….

I know the it’s complicated feeling can occur during the dating process but I will provide you with full disclosure to ease your fears so that the Alice in Wonderland fantasy that you want can be achieve! Since you have a sense of adventure I will think outside the box during our dating phrase because I do subscribe to the men with-out fear club.

Since it takes one to no one thru the dating process I will give you all the time you need because playing it cool will not put a smile on your face. We will not worry about when the time is up inregards to sexing, because once I know she is all in I am going to put dat luving on you so you can say this luving hurt so good!

:wink: :smile: :lol:

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
1:30 pm

M dot: I see this alot in Atlanta where women want the benefits of a relationship but since they don’t have it all in 1 package yet with the guy they want, they PIECE it together.

Agree.

SCool: yes, this society is not direct about sex. Sex is still a taboo. It’s different in Europe and South America, for example, where sex is treated as a fact of life.

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
1:32 pm

Thanx Melo & Professor. We had a great time and, yes, plenty of skin-to-skin :wink: The weather was quite mild actually, but Sunday back at home was all yucky & rainy so we continued the cuddling with an afternoon of football: Steelers :( Colts :)

SexyCool you’ve mentioned before that your s/o did not (physically) fit your pre-conception of ‘your type’. do you mind sharing how and when you decided to let him know you wanted to pursue a relationship if he wasn’t initially someone of interest? if i’m wrong feel free to correct me. i ask because that situation sounds similar to my own.

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
1:34 pm

@quasimoto…a fool…lol…yea you still not answer the questions…lol…fake arse

@lmao..i cosign

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
1:38 pm

@SC

This society is not weird, people are.

I’ve stated my interactions with truly sexually liberated women (love them to Deaf!), and it’s not a age, race, socioeconomic or even religious objection that they have overcome; they’ve (IMO) shed the expectations of others.

At some point, the imaginary “haters” and “people that judge you” really shouldn’t matter.

Regardless of religious affiliation or nuture, I like people that think for themselves. These people have questioned long held beliefs and come to a decision. Now, if that means she wants me to wait 6 months to a year before she expresses physical intimacy – cool; that’s my decision to wait.

What irks me more than anything dating in the “A” is that platitudes and the lemming logic has replaced substantial thought. Few people actually have original thoughts anymore.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 23rd, 2009
1:39 pm

Whaddup.. Mayne ya’ll make this dating ish too hard.. Its as simple as Do you like me? Check Yes or No and go with the flow from there..

If a chick ask me comeon lets go out then she paying cause for one you cant just call me up and Im at your disposal to take you on a date..

you know whats even funnier.. Women think just cause they are giving you some tw@t then you should be all good.. That for suckers.. I want you to bring more to me than just your wet spot.. Or prepare to be dismissed.. Seriously.. I can get cooch when I cant eat..

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
1:42 pm

@SexyCool – Definitely All In

LOL I agree with your 1:21 post. Its funny because I have met women that have said and believe that logic. They know deep down if this is a guy you like, you dont want him treating you like a friend mainly because you wont be a PRIORITY. You can be cool, but if you really like a guy, you dont want to be a backup. You want to be the starter, #1 chick. Also if you become friends and really get to know the guy and he will become more real to you and you will get to see his flaws so the chances of you wanting to be with him the same as the beginning wont really be there as much.

Is that a true statement?

LURKER

November 23rd, 2009
1:42 pm

In America we have created the princess/queen syndrome: That is why so many people are single and cannot find a mate! Standards are great to have but superficial requirements/wants will wreck a potential relationship!

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
1:43 pm

czB – you are correct.

From probably about our third date, MND was asking me what my intentions were with him. While I initially found him to be a really ‘nice guy’ and was learning that he seemed to also be a ‘good man’, I wasn’t as into him as he was into me.

And while from jump he was pretty much saying that his intentions were to see how far we could take the relationship because he was ready to settle down, I was telling him that I was looking forward to getting to know him and figuring it out as we went along.

After we had been dating for a little more than a month, he came over one night and we starting mixing cherry rum and cokes. We got a little tipsy and a little amorous. One thing led to another. He rocked my world and I’ve been gone every since.

The very next time he asked me about my intentions, I told him that I wanted to see how far we could take the relationship because I was ready to settle down.

LOL!!!

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 23rd, 2009
1:46 pm

What irks me more than anything dating in the “A” is that platitudes and the lemming logic has replaced substantial thought. Few people actually have original thoughts anymore

@Dan- I thought it was just me.. Everybody dressing like everybody, everybody go to the same spots, everybody doing the same thing.. No one is clever anymore..

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 23rd, 2009
1:49 pm

Computer love (computer, computer love)
Computer love (lookin’ for my computer love)
Computer love (hey)
Computer love (computer love)

You know I’ve been searching for someone
Who can share that special love with me
And your eyes have that glow
Could it be your face I see on my computer screen

Need a special girl (ooh yeah)
To share in my computer world
I no longer need a strategy
Thanks to modern technology

Chorus:
Shooby doo bop shoo doo bop I wanna love you
Shooby doo bop (I wanna love you) computer love
Shooby doo bop shoo doo bop I wanna love you
Shooby doo bop my computer love

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
1:50 pm

@dk…word i have gotten more sex offers then offers to line my pockets with green or women wanting to foot the tab for a night out…but they will let me hit first then say hey can you mind taking me to pappaduex…lol

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
1:51 pm

@THE INFAMOUS DK

“I want you to bring more to me .. Or prepare to be dismissed.. ”

I am with you on this because in Atlanta, alot of women think just because they are attractive that that’s all it takes. What else are they bringing to the table besides curves and a weave? What is messing it up for guys like me in Atlanta is that other guys are not REQUIRING anything more than her physical appearance. As long as she is thick everything is supposed to be cool? They are either bringing something to the table or taking something away from your table….

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
1:53 pm

Actually, Dan – it is THIS SOCIETY that is weird about sex. As Timeless points out in his statement, other cultures do not have the kinds of hang ups that American people do.

Is it better for you since I included YOUR word – people? LOL – totally teasing….

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
1:54 pm

What else are they bringing to the table besides curves and a weave

Now that is some funny ish.. right there.

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
1:55 pm

@m/dk…thats why i dont mess with weave queens..most of there money is going to the upkeep of that yaki…which means less dollars invested on me….two…i am really tired of the term thick…no yousa a heavyweight..and you need to leave the cheddar biscuits alone and pick up a jump rope…thick is only cut below the mason-dixon line..anywhere else you would be a BBW….lol

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
1:58 pm

@DK

No one wants to be clever. It’s much too easy to “seen” than to be original.

It’s soooo superficial sometimes, it makes me think of moving. But I’m an optimist.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
1:58 pm

The sugar cravings always set in after lunch.
Sheesh….I’m struggling. I can hear the vending machine calling my name.

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
2:00 pm

@SC

Society affects/creates limitations. I’m all about the subculture.

I’d rather find my personal level of hell (shout out to My2) and stay in it. I’ll deal with the consequences when they arrive.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
2:01 pm

czBrat…I am happy you all had a great time. I am hoping that is nippy Thursday because I do want to use my fireplace.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
2:02 pm

I’m eating an apple, but in my mind, it’s a powdered donut.

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
2:03 pm

What is messing it up for guys like me in Atlanta is that other guys are not REQUIRING anything more than her physical appearance

Ofcourse u not serious!
U be true to urself and what u looking for,u find it plenty.

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
2:03 pm

@ Rell

“no yousa a heavyweight..and you need to leave the cheddar biscuits alone and pick up a jump rope”

LOLOLOL

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
2:05 pm

I have to disagree on the weird part. So am I not weird if the panties are off within a couple of weeks, or if I’m down for anything on the first night out with you.

Let’s just call it what it is, it isn’t weird it’s called “Personal Preferences”.

In this society SEX is a major component asn id you’re not on the banwagon to give away the goodies rather quickly then you are A. putting the puddy on a pedastool or B. Being weird about sex (wateva that means) …. You aren’t just trying to weed out the posers,imposters, or lymp dyck men…

I GOTCHA :wink:

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
2:06 pm

…stepping out it sounding like the lonely hearts club in here.

:wink:

Willie Dynamite

November 23rd, 2009
2:06 pm

Afternoon All,

I agree with most of the posts today. It is a very personal choice as to when to give up the goods. Some women are shocked that there are men that will turn down your puddy. Some Men really do not subscribe to the whole ‘Girl he havta wait 6 mos for this pot o gold’. I understand both sides of the equation. Me personally, I dont want it if its that easy (never did). I am also not gonna wait for 6 months because thats what you have in your mind as an acceptable time frame. If we dating and things are flowing then its the next logical step. If not then I guess its just my lost, right. My thing has always been what else you have besides your puddy. I mean if you make that the goal then when I conquer that whats next?

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
2:07 pm

*and if you’re not*

M. (pronoucned M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
2:08 pm

@Melo

I got you. That’s why I am not lowering my standards rather than just settling. Sometimes you dont always have to make lemonade when you are given lemons….

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
2:08 pm

I’m eating an apple, but in my mind, it’s a powdered donut. LMAO :lol:

Dan & DK, may I ask what you guys do that is clever and original when dating?

THANK YOU! to Melo’s 2:03.

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
2:09 pm

Dan, you said “This society is not weird, people are.”

Isen’t society made up of people??? :)

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
2:11 pm

What is messing it up for guys like me in Atlanta is that other guys are not REQUIRING anything more than her physical appearance.

The above, unfortunately, is true.

Some women are shocked that there are men that will turn down your puddy.

Also true! You should see the shock in their eyes when I tell them “Have a nice life!”.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
2:14 pm

Dream’n – okay, first off. I am not the one who started the whole “Who’s a prude? Who’s a ho3?” conversation. I don’t care what any other chick does with her va-jay-jay and I don’t have an opinion or judgement about it.

But when I say that THIS SOCIETY is weird about sex, that’s exactly what I mean. THIS SOCIETY as a whole is way too freakin’ concerned about what goes on in other people’s bedrooms and what they do with their bodies? Why is @nal sex still illegal in some states? Why was it ever? When was it ever any body’s business what Johnny wanted stuck in whatever orifice of his body that he wanted something stuck in?

No, I’m not judging you personally. You can have your pristine pouch surgically removed and preserve it in a freakin’ jar for all I care. It ain’t mine and I ain’t got nothing to do with it.

Like I said, you do you and I’ll do me. MY statements about what I do with MY body are not meant to be an example, a case study, an indictment, a suggestion or any doggone thing else about what YOU do. It’s just me talking about ME.

I’m just saying….

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
2:16 pm

Willie Dynamite

I like the way you think.

And to clarify for you, It’s not about putting a time limit or time table on when you are to have sex. It’s about not letting your sexual desires control you. You should want to feel out that person, get to know them, learn them, see if their action match up with what they are telling you. We talked about the representative being sent in about a month or so ago.. and many people agreed that within the 6 week time period you are still grasping who that person is. You dont truly know them. I’m not knocking anyone for having S!X, that’s part of being a human.. We’re going to have sex. But let’s not let every tom dick and harry stick it in and play with it…

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
2:17 pm

@Willie Dynamite

I agree with your 2:06 post. That’s a slippery slope and that’s where a lot of WOMEN mess up at because they make themselves a QUEST. What do you do once you conquer a quest? You find another one. She is not a challenge anymore. I am not saying women need to close the deal super fast, but also dont make a guy chase your around 285 even while you know you like him just to stroke your ego, make you feel sweated, desired, and give you notes to compare with your girlfriends.

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
2:17 pm

now if i had Rell’s mentality, i would say to Timeless, M dot and WD that you’re all full of crap because all men chase the kitty and nothing but the kitty. but i am NOT of that mentality! instead i say good for you for being men with morals and standards. there are women out there equally moral and happily waiting to meet you :)

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
2:18 pm

“I’m eating an apple, but in my mind, it’s a powdered donut.” You are crazy.

That’s why I am not lowering my standards rather than just settling. Sometimes you dont always have to make lemonade when you are given lemons…. Couldn’t have said it any better. Just look at the lemon, recognize it’s rotten and keep it moving….

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
2:18 pm

@dream – love its cool if you wait…i have no problem with it…if thats you..what i hate is chicks that feel the need to bring it up..sometimes its not on our minds right away specially if find the one that piques our interest…its only when we smell blood in the water is when the game changes…meaning you telling us how we not going to get ect etc…you do it to yourselfs really…most men want that one ….we all know one good women is worth 20 bustdowns

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
2:19 pm

And that last post came across kinda angry…but it’s not…

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
2:19 pm

@Timeless

A society is a collection of people, cultures and traditions. The components of each being individual and collective.

@Dream

Weird is different; and as I live by my own standards, weird (for me) is anything different from how I do things.

@WillieD

Right on to that whole 2:06!

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
2:23 pm

@ca…bench fluck you…do you know me…of course not…so you dont know my mentality…you benchs kill me thinking ya ish is gold…bench

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
2:25 pm

SexyC

Okay let’s back away from the comp and take a deep breathe…

I am not judging anyone personally. I was defending my stance on not giving up the goods within a couple of dates. I could care less what you or anyone else does in the comfinement of their bedroom, but as for me it takes more than a couple of drinks and a cute smile to have me on my back screaming. If what I said in my posts offended you or struck a chord with you, I apologize. I am not one to judege nor point fingers at someone b/c of their choices.

You and I differ on this particular subject, and that’s quite okay. No need to spasm out on a difference of opinion.

MsM

November 23rd, 2009
2:26 pm

Like I said, you do you and I’ll do me. MY statements about what I do with MY body are not meant to be an example, a case study, an indictment, a suggestion or any doggone thing else about what YOU do. It’s just me talking about ME.

@ SexyC … Alright then. I’m a straight up freak, but I don’t freak with just anybody… LOL

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
2:27 pm

speaking of spasms …….

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
2:27 pm

Not spazzing, Infant. Trust.

The post was more tongue-in-cheek-@ssholish than anything that closely resembles a spasm.

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
2:27 pm

@Dream

Desire controls us all. It’s acting on those desires that get us into trouble.

Like Willie, I’ve never been concerned about just the sex of any particular woman (if it happens it does), for me it’s about how responsible she is for her own happiness. And to my mind, that includes sex – irrespective of whether an action occurs or not.

@Brat

That’s a loaded question. If I told you, it wouldn’t be original (the game is to be sold, not told). But for real, my dating is based on the woman. If I want to get to know her head, I invite her places that allow us to explore one another that way; for her heart, another place; and for her body, my place. j/k

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
2:28 pm

@czBrat

LOL

For real though, I am learning more and more to be more selective because for guys it already hard enough in the dating realm. Also I really cant risk just dealing any woman because that’s how check’s get garnished lol…

Also if you are a guy and you get rejected by a woman, that’s not always a bad thing…you dont know this woman from a can of paint so you dont know what kind of issues she has or what you just avoided. Sometimes it’s the people that you dont deal with that makes up who you are also. Let that marinate!

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
2:29 pm

Oh…and I just caught that little dig in there about a “couple of drinks”. And I could come back really nasty on ya’, but that ain’t my style.

Let’s let this sht ride.

Willie Dynamite

November 23rd, 2009
2:29 pm

Hold on, I’m actually agreeing with most of what Rell is saying. I also see the other side. Doesn’t really matter either way to me. I tend to take a harder line against Men. For the most part Men make most women into that person. Most women have to go through so much BS when dealing with men that when they have that Real in front of them its Kryptonite to their system. On the flip side you dont have to be a guy with morals and standards to get PLENTY of puddy nowadays. As evidenced on this very blog the same ones talking bout they cant be got and all that end up getting got.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 23rd, 2009
2:29 pm

CZBRAT – Seeing if you and old Girl are cool before you start flashing your bank at her, thats first off.. Doing stuff off the beaten path instead of rushing to Atlantic Station or Lucky Lounge for the first date.. Everybody trying to show off..

Oh and there are some of out here who dont chase Kitty.. Some of us chase something else..

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
2:30 pm

I was defending my stance on not giving up the goods within a couple of dates

- why is that even your focus…again most men are willing and want to wait..we like things of value..but if i had a dollar for every lil hood rat that moved from small town america to the city with this i am going to reinvent myself crap i would be rich…be you..we will find out if you are a dirty w h ore or not…if you are on the “AC Green” plan…then live like it….meaning no night time dates…no home visits…no house dates….etc….again you create the scene to get fluck over with your double tongues and ruses you play to seem more than what you are – you dirty w h ores…..we can respect a pro if she tells she is one from day one…we dont want to be the dude that wifes up the hood bicycle….

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
2:31 pm

Dan, the reason I ask is because it seems to reason that if you’re being original in your pursuits then you should be running into women who are also different. no? if that’s the case, why would there be a need for you to abandon the city? or are you meeting people in very typical setting and finding it hard to get with someone who is willing to try something new?

Willie Dynamite

November 23rd, 2009
2:40 pm

DK – 2:29 Oh and there are some of out here who dont chase Kitty.. Some of us chase something else..
Chuuuuch

Rell – AC Green Plan, mayne yousa fool.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
2:40 pm

@THE INFAMOUS DK

“Doing stuff off the beaten path instead of rushing to Atlantic Station or Lucky Lounge for the first date”

That’s another problem in Atlanta. I try to mix it up. I know alot of people in the service industry that work at unique restaurants and bars around town. But some of the women have been dumbed down so much that they look at your crazy for not taking them to Atlantic Station. I stopped by Fox Sports Grille last night and them women were in there skinnin and grinnin like they were at the state fair just because they were in Fox Sports Grill….lol

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
2:42 pm

@Rell

I guess when you’re talking abou re-inventing yourself. YOu’re talking about these women that have had numerous partners and move across state lines to start over and if that’s the case, that’s not me…

And my “V” is not the prize you get while dating me. That’s just apart of the process of dating… whether it be sooner or later. But later works best for me because I have gotten to know you, and I clearly like what has been shown. And you get to know me on the outside and when you get to get inside… then it will be more than just sex…. You’ll find out that I’m the total package :smile:

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
2:43 pm

What is so jazzy about wanting to go to Atlantic Station for dinner. Is it the food, the atmosphere or the hopes of seeing a celebrity. Perhaps I don’t get it cuz I’ve never been at night. Yeah, that must be it. Sheesh!

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
2:45 pm

@Brat

My pursuit(s) are of women that I find interesting. That, during our tenure together, I find that are in fact not interesting is entirely a function of my selection process.

As Willie stated, the presentation of an original option throws an ordinary chick. Some try and fit, some don’t.

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
2:47 pm

What is so jazzy about wanting to go to Atlantic Station for dinner

not sure either….but its a young,showy kinda pple hangout.
U knw what i mean..

I got money(see my borrowed clothes) but i got no money to buy a drink!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
2:48 pm

running into women who are also different

- yous a dummy for real…again re-read M post about those bustdowns skinning and grinning cause they at lame as fox sports…stats is better and will gladly take a sports fan to a sports bar…if you not a fan…applebees or chillis will do..if i like you i might move the interview process to a place more proper for a bustdown on the come up plan..the cheesecake factory…that covers all bustdown checklist and i will even allow you to take some food home for you and your friends..lol

@PYT
But later works best for me because I have gotten to know you

- Scripple this in your pad….what you seek is comfort you will really know someone…shows like AMW, SNAPPED, and UNSOLVED MYSTERYS have plenty of stories on folks who thought they knew there spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend…etc…so we are talking comfort…you need to know he not going to shoot on your azz and call you a dirty w hore when we done..we get it…but you will never truly know someone

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
2:48 pm

@Leggs

It’s like taking the Red Lobster bag to work (how you suddenly don’t know how hungry you were?). More about where than with whom for somma these chicks out here.

@Dream

But the process you describe (re: 2:42) really shouldn’t take that long if both of you are being honest and up front brokers.

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
2:52 pm

Me personally, I dont want it if its that easy (never did). my mistake, WD, if i misunderstood that statement. Since you see both sides, I still choose to applaud you :)

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
2:59 pm

@Rell – da rake

LOL you said bustdown…are you from chicago?

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
3:01 pm

@ Dan 2:45. so in the getting-to-know-you process you’re finding that there’s just not enough beneath the surface to excite you? that makes sense. i don’t know how much of that has to do specifically with atlanta, but it sounds like a common problem we all run into while trying to find the right fit.

one thing that my s/o and i have in common is how much we talked about all the things we wanted to try and places we wanted to go right from the start. we decided to date and share all those experiences together and have been “checking them off the list” ever since.

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
3:02 pm

@ Dan, but that’s the problem you don’t know if both parties are being honest. It takes you two, to have conversations and for you to observe their actions as it relates to their words. Hey.. we’re beating a dead horse here…

Do what works for you and keep it moving..

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
3:03 pm

@M – i am from virginia..but i served in the marines for eight years and hung around alot of dudes from the chi and the D….last four years it was dudes from the bottom, sip, da boot, and bama…and we were all station on the west coast…lol

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
3:04 pm

bustdown

I just cracked up over here…a Chicago term at its best…lol

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
3:06 pm

Well, you should know if at least one party is being honest.

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
3:08 pm

@Dream

We’re not “beating a dead horse”, I actually thought we were having a discussion, but if you want to end it, that’s cool.

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
3:10 pm

@ Dan..

My bad.. I just feel like I’m saying the same thing ans we’re going in circles…

I don’t have the answer as to how long you should wait to become intimate with a potential SO. This is determined by the individual.

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
3:13 pm

@Dream

Naw, I get it. I’m not asking you for an answer; I’m more interested in discussing the issue.

We all good.

Can we talk about how I just realized that after 10 games into the season the entire league knows to throw to whereever Chris Houston is?

Dag.

Luvbug

November 23rd, 2009
3:13 pm

The weird part of society to me is that people assume that a woman is either being manipulated into it by a man when she says yes or is manipulating a man when she says no…it is possible that people just do it because they want to.

What’s sad are the women who get talked into sex for fear of other’s opinions or who copy-paste other people’s standards of sex (without making sure it’s right for them) or who use it as a means to negotiate or manipulate a situation. It’s all about a person (woman) deciding what she’s comfortable with…now if she knows she is doing opposite of what she wants to do…again, that’s a sad situation.

Wise Diva

November 23rd, 2009
3:13 pm

thanks Lurker for the laugh, that’s a first, seeing all the title to my posts in a comment. LOL

I had a great time at the Pro Bull Riding event. It was AWESOME. I took a boy, he didn’t like it, he kept leaving to check the football scores LOL. That was fine by me because I was busy gawking at the riders, there were some hotties in there.

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
3:23 pm

or who use it as a means to negotiate or manipulate a situation.

LuvBurg??

but if its wrking for them and the men they dealing with, whats the problem??

sad are the women who get talked into sex for fear of other’s opinions or who copy-paste other people’s standards of sex

Is it not possible that this is ur opinion of why they do it,and not why they do it??

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
3:28 pm

“…women who get talked into sex for fear of other’s opinions” Who does this? Surely not women, but perhaps teenagers!

Love, Beautiful

November 23rd, 2009
3:28 pm

hey NY2GA, SexyCool, Ladies!

i had a dreamy w/e. hoping yours was fab also.

i let a man know i’m interested in so many lil ways. don’t have time to list them right now. you know, the obvious ways.

bbl.

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
3:32 pm

women who get talked into sex for fear of other’s opinions

:shock:

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
3:35 pm

women who get talked into sex for fear of other’s opinions

:nice:

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
3:38 pm

East Point's Own

November 23rd, 2009
3:40 pm

women who get talked into sex for fear of other’s opinions
Plenty of adult females do this. How many women can’t make a real decision about their life or relationship without getting advice from someone first? These types of folks are easily swayed by the opinions of others… especially since someone else is always in their bees knees…

http://hispointofview.com

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
3:42 pm

Anybody with open invite to ur thanxgiving lernch/dinner???

I wanna try some of ur food pple….

Anybody wanna hosea me,hello out there!!!!

thanx

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
3:44 pm

Plenty of adult females do this

East, I have yet to encounter these women..honestly.

I mean like Leggs said, I can see of you were in high school, the only virgin.. All your friends were doinf it, and you didnt want to be the outcast. As sad as it sounds it has happened and continues too. but as far as a GROWN woman having sex b/c of others opinions.. That right there is krazy talk to me.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
3:47 pm

…stepping back in.

Well I just did a quick look at what I missed. Whew! smh

Luvbug
I agree, with your 3:13

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
3:48 pm

If you are influenced by the opinions of others, you will have no DESIRE of your own. – Napoleon Hill

i posted this on my facebook last week

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
3:49 pm

Whew! smh

we missed u Proff,what u shake ur urhd for?? the verbal(fire) works??

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
3:50 pm

women who get talked into sex for fear of other’s opinions

Not, I said the Professor! There is no way I would worry about what others think

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
3:52 pm

Melo,

Yes I am smh at the verbal fireworks…it never cease to amaze me. As for lernch or dinner I will send you a plate next year.

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
3:54 pm

If you are influenced by the opinions of others, you will have no DESIRE of your own.

I like that quote. Be you..

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
3:57 pm

ditto Dream_n 3:44. i just find that hard to believe. but i often find myself smh at the behaviors that are considered common these days.

East Point's Own

November 23rd, 2009
4:00 pm

I don’t know specifically of a case where an adult woman had sex because of influence from another, but I have seen women make decisions based upon what their girlfriends told them…etc. You know the single friends are always relationship experts…LoL
It is not a stretch in my mind that a person influenced in such manners would have sex with a dude if the single chick commission decided that he had waited long enough and it is not time to give it up.

East Point's Own

November 23rd, 2009
4:01 pm

that should say… it is now time to give it up.

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
4:02 pm

Melo, you and Queen always has an open invite…you know this!

@EPO, disagree, I find it hard to believe that plenty of adult women do not do this….just because they’re tall, doesn’t mean they’re adults!

East Point's Own

November 23rd, 2009
4:03 pm

plenty does not mean all, or most, just more than I can count on my fingers and toes… OK???

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
4:04 pm

@East Point:

How many women can’t make a real decision about their life or relationship without getting advice from someone first?

Ain’t that the truth! Often, dating a woman means dating ALL of her friends and trying to “undo” the advice her friends give her. This makes things harder esp. if her friends are “man-haters” (of which there are many)!

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
4:08 pm

East</strong… Gotcha!

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
4:10 pm

And How many men can’t commit to a relationship because all of their boys are calling him whooped for blowing off a bb game to take the potential on a romantic walk on the beach……

It goes both ways :smile:

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
4:11 pm

thanx Leggs!

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
4:14 pm

romantic walk on the beach……

where in altana is there a beach to take a romatic stroll again..lol…you bustdowns kill me with all that “tyler perry” ish…lol

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
4:17 pm

@Dream

I DO believe that was some equivocation like a mugg.

Men routinely dismiss their homeboys for some soft leg. Matter of factly, you get clowned if you don’t.

Woooooowww….never heard that one. But then, I’m from Atlanta, aint too much “walking on the beach” no way

Luvbug

November 23rd, 2009
4:19 pm

“…women who get talked into sex for fear of other’s opinions” Who does this? Surely not women, but perhaps teenagers!

Plenty of women do this. They hear what people should be doing my such and such time or listen to women talk about what is needed to keep a man (sex included) and follow suite. I witnessed plenty of following women.

And the statement also includes the opinion of the person the woman is dating as well. Some guys put the pressure on and some women bow to it.

They may be grown and fall short in that area.

Uncle Peaches

November 23rd, 2009
4:20 pm

Heeeey Melo. What’s popping? Hot topic.

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
4:20 pm

lmao @ Rell.. bustdowns.. come on now

I’m a resident of the chi my friends :)

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
4:23 pm

Uncle Charlie?? hey!!

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
4:23 pm

@Dream good point…

No to mention a lot of men have enough money that a their dates extend outside of I-285, so I do understand the walk on the beach. I’ve experienced those dates before.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
4:24 pm

Lake Lanier Beach
Lake Allatoona Beach
Jonesboro Beach

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
4:24 pm

how about going down to savannah for an afternoon stroll with ur girl Dan,cples arent allowed to do that anymore coz there is no beach in the A..cme on pple??.

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
4:24 pm

My point is they may be “women” but they aren’t ADULTS. An adult is not easily swayed by the opinions of others especially when is th eright time to have sex or not to have it. let me back up, a “confident, self-assured ADULT” is not easily swayed. I don’t know many weak minded women.

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
4:25 pm

altho ofcourse Savannah beaches are derty,one time was good for me…

Luvbug

November 23rd, 2009
4:26 pm

@Melo

First one – Manipulation implies not willfully agreeing

Second one – I’m not saying that this is why they are doing it. I’m saying “if” these are the reasons they are doing it, then it’s sad.

Brownsugarvixen

November 23rd, 2009
4:26 pm

Hey all!

I think it’s safe to say that when you you find someone that is genuine and truly interested in getting to know you as a person it’s obvious. Their words and actions won’t contradict one another be it male or female. If you encounter posers then take it as a lesson learned and keep it moving! Can’t miss what you didn’t have.

I personally let you know I’m interested and that’s it. My actions always follow suit no need for games, life too short!

Uncle Peaches

November 23rd, 2009
4:27 pm

Don’t act Melo, you know it’s PEACHES, uncle to you. You’re trying to act in front of company?

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
4:28 pm

I don’t have fond memories of beaches…Orchard Beach and Sabago Beach were horrible growing up and sand and I have never been friends.

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
4:28 pm

hello Peaches then!

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
4:32 pm

@Luvbug
Manipulation implies not willfully agreeing

manipulation implies cajoling using some leverage.

The other party either succumbes to it or does not..either way,they make the final decision.
If u do not have a strong argument to want to not engage in sexx and u do it anyway,u cant blame me!!

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
4:34 pm

UPS is hiring loooots of drivers…..

Luvbug

November 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm

No one is one dimensional, so every adult has shortcoming or underdeveloped components. One issue doesn’t make a person a non adult or weak person. It could mean that they are weak in that area.

In that regard, that’s what good friends are for…to positively influence your underdeveloped areas and not compare their strengths to your shortcoming as if they don’t have shortcoming.

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
4:44 pm

to positively influence your underdeveloped areas

underdeveloped areas???

now Luvbug?? u getting into scandalaous territory! :lol:

which area is underdeveloped?? the brain or what???

:smdh: seee?? :)

Luvbug

November 23rd, 2009
4:45 pm

If u do not have a strong argument to want to not engage in sexx and u do it anyway,u cant blame me!!

Blaming aint the issue. What’s done is done, but it’s hard to witness the aftermath…the tears…the self doubt/blame…especially if she repeats the same cycle over and over again.

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
4:47 pm

the falcons lost and uall forgot about footbal tday?? ha??

:lol: 2 in a row

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
4:47 pm

Ok, luvbug, I concede!

Luvbug

November 23rd, 2009
4:47 pm

which area is underdeveloped?? the brain or what???

Sometimes

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
4:49 pm

Because your point is valid!

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
4:50 pm

why tears?? Luvbug?

if the mindset is,”im gonna enjoy myself” and she protects herself and her mind is right,it can be done.

What brings the tears is the weak mind coupled with the negative connotation,if u listen to purveyors of pure doctrine.
If u dont,u str8! Think prostitutes..not in the same breath..but..she wants to eat,she got no other skill to sell,she sells coochie…

Right??

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
4:51 pm

@Melo stop talking about my Falcons.

…I wonder if Uncle Peaches a Falcons fan, or if he likes soccer

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
4:51 pm

…stepping out have a good evening!

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
4:52 pm

u phool proffessor at that 4.51 pm…

My liverpool aint doing good this year,past 15 yrs matter of fact.

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
4:55 pm

Blaming aint the issue. What’s done is done whether it be the 1st date of the 100th, DO NOT take that step toward physical intimacy unless and until you’re prepared to deal with the aftermath. he may whip out a ring or he may run, but the choice was YOURS and you have to be okay with that …. even if you made that choice based on the advice of another (although i don’t understand why anyone would do that). i will take whatever time i feel i have to take and place whatever requirements i feel i have to place on a relationship because in the end, i will blame no one for my decision and i will not live with regret. some might call that position fake or bs, but i just call it being mature and responsible and having a healthy dose of self-respect.

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
4:55 pm

Good night!

“Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

Keep smiling!

Luvbug

November 23rd, 2009
4:57 pm

@Leggs – Preciate

Luvbug

November 23rd, 2009
4:58 pm

@Melo – I’m hoping you don’t have a daughter?!

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
4:58 pm

thank you Leggs. always luv your final thoughts :)

ciao!

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
5:00 pm

That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
(think weaved girl and light skinned) :lol:
now thats real talk!!!

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
5:01 pm

I’m hoping you don’t have a daughter

i do,but im teaching them other skills!

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
5:24 pm

@Dream

“And How many men can’t commit to a relationship because all of their boys are calling him whooped for blowing off a bb game to take the potential on a romantic walk on the beach”

You wouldn’t have this problem if you dates a MAN instead of a BOY!

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
5:25 pm

@Dream

“And How many men can’t commit to a relationship because all of their boys are calling him whooped for blowing off a bb game to take the potential on a romantic walk on the beach”

You wouldn’t have this problem if you dated a MAN instead of a BOY!

Dream_n- 3 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
5:42 pm

“And How manymen can’t commit to a relationship because all of their boys are calling him whooped for blowing off a bb game to take the potential on a romantic walk on the beach”

Boys as in HIS friends, potnah’s..
READING IS FUNDAMENTAL MY FRIEND…
I hope you’re a woman b/c b$chtAZZness is not cute on a man… :lol:

What happend to my first explanation WD??? lol

NIGHT ALL