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She’s All In

Sometimes women have a hard time just outright admitting how much she likes someone.  Although we really don’t like it when men do it to us, we can be just as bad with sending a guy mixed signals and being vague.

So how can men tell when a woman really likes him? Sadly, just because she is agreeing to go out on a date doesn’t necessarily mean she actually likes you.  There are other ways to tell she is happy you are in her life though:

1. She is genuinely concerned about your well-being. You may notice that she pays attention to something you need and then fulfill those needs.

2. She doesn’t criticize you harshly.  Women definitely pay attention to your behavior and can see when you are acting like a bonehead.  When she likes you, she can call you out in a respectful manner, handling your ego with care.

3. She doesn’t make outrageous demands on you to prove to her you like her.  A really smart woman does not require a man to spend a boatload of cash on her. In fact, when she really likes you, she will treat you and pay for things. If you feel like a sponsor after only a few months of dating, it’s probably because you are.

Ladies, how can men tell when a woman really likes him? How do you let a man know that you are truly interested? What ways to you show him?

Men, do you know when a woman is leading you on? Can you tell when she is interested in you, for who you are?

It’s not fun being used by anyone, how can we manage to avoid that in dating?

241 comments Add your comment

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
8:58 am

Happy Monday!

How do you let a man know that you are truly interested? What ways to you show him?

Hmmm I don’t do anything special to let a person know that I am interested…I just tell him I am interested…the end

Although I am a bit shy I will say this if I am interested in a man it always comes out sooner or later. Plus whatever we do is fun to me whether we ride around looking at houses and tripping out, or if I show him some of the hidden treasures here in GA…simply put the ability to enjoy each other’s company without all the bravado.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
8:58 am

Ohhhh me first!

???

November 23rd, 2009
9:21 am

So, it’s just the men you don’t like that you want to spend boatloads of cash on you? Why don’t I find this surprising?

abc

November 23rd, 2009
9:27 am

This is a crazy post, WD. What gives? Did you get kicked in the head at the rodeo or something?

M. (pronoucned M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
9:32 am

This is an interesting topic. As you said WD, “just because she is agreeing to go out on a date doesn’t necessarily mean she actually likes you”. This is true because women will take a free dinner even if they dont like a guy. Just because she goes out with me doesnt mean she likes me, it just means she is human and has an appetitie!

Men, do you know when a woman is leading you on? Can you tell when she is interested in you, for who you are?

Honestly, it is hard to know when a woman is leading you on. But one aspect to always watch out for is the flakiness. If a woman is acting flakely or playing the busy game, she really is not that interested.

It’s not fun being used by anyone, how can we manage to avoid that in dating?
I think from a male perspective, we can avoid being used by simply not giving to much to fast and to early. Guys need to qualify women more rather than automatically give them everything. We have to not put so much stock into her early. That way if it doesnt work out, then we really havent lost much. I did not say dont put any EFFORT into dating her, but I am saying dont give her your life either. A common mistake that I have made and I am sure other guys have made is giving a woman to much UNWARRANTED attention to soon. Let them earn your time guys and stop being so eager!

NY2GA, Inc.

November 23rd, 2009
9:38 am

Maybe it’s the way I’m reading this, but wondering if someone ‘likes me’ seems kind of high schoolish. Grown folks take the risk, throw the signals and test the waters. By this stage in the game we’ve learned to know who is interested us and who isn’t because our advances have either been accepted or rejected over the years. If our efforts are rejected. We keep on truckin’-

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
9:50 am

Three Words Daily – Know the rules.

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
10:07 am

GM All!

I’m with Professor on this one. What’s wrong with me just telling you how I feel and you trusting that I’m not playing games???

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
10:11 am

M.Dot – Cosigning the last paragraph of your 932a. It goes both ways.

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
10:16 am

M.

Great comment.

As far as the “leading me on” she can only take me as far as I let her.

If I’m fool enough to invest heavily in someone without any (or not enough) reciprocity, then that’s on me.

I only bet what I can afford to lose.

‘Supper Folks!

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
10:23 am

I only bet what I can afford to lose

right on the money!

Morning gang!!

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
10:23 am

He likes me, he likes me not, he likes me, he likes me not

Morning all!

NY2GA, Inc. pretty much summed it up for me….

LMAO in ATL

November 23rd, 2009
10:26 am

This has to be either the funniest or saddest column I have ever read about relationships. It’s obvious the author has never had a “real” relationship with a “real” man, and at least half or the posters haven’t either. All this posturing, posing, preening and pouting! No wonder you’re confused.
This is the “dating scene you people subscribe to? Really? Really!?!

Real people are confident enough to let other people know who they are, and are strong enough to handle the truth.

Real people don’t need validation from a date or a GF/BF.

Real people know that if you’re looking for something specific, the odds of finding what you’re looking for decrease.

Real people don’t need to play games, and they will leave you flat on your arse if you start playing them, unless they just want a short term companion for a specific reason.

If you really want to get to know someone, and see how compatible you are, take a trip together for 3 or 4 days. And not a 5 star resort. Something a little grittier. Go on a few dates that take you out of your comfort zones. Loosen up and have a real conversation.
Real men can handle the occasional emotional outburst. But if you’re psycho, go get treatment, or he will leave you flat on your arse in heartbeat.

It sounds like the author and half of the respondents on here never emotionally left high school.

That’s my two cents. And I’m secure enough to say it.

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
10:30 am

Good morning everyone! I have played chauffeur the ENTIRE weekend. I think I need to get lil leggs a bigger bike (j/k).

Anyway, I’m one for telling you I like you with verbal and non-verbal communication. My time spent with you, my attentiveness to your likes and dislikes will tell you if I’m interested.

@M ~ you are on point with your last paragraph.

For Real

November 23rd, 2009
10:36 am

What up Blog Fam! Dating is just not that hard people. You see, you like, you ask then go from there….

Real people wipe the back of their ears and then smell their fangas

Real people dig into their nose and thump boogers

Real people dig food out between their teeth and eat it

Sorry I couldn’t help myself

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
10:37 am

I agree with M (dot). Yes, many women would take free dinners even if they don’t like the guy. They say if a guy “wants to pay for my company, I let him” (someone’s exact words). Do the women actually make it clear to these guys that that’s why they are going out with him???

LMAO has some valid points too (real people are confident enough to let other people know who they are, and are strong enough to handle the truth and don’t need validation from a date or a GF/BF).

Yes, I did leave the above-mentioned girl “flat on her arse in a heartbeat”.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
10:37 am

Folks I think we have to factor in all of the players when we talk about the datinggame:

So here are a few of the players, which I feel cause people to hold back and not say how they feel because they are afraid of being hurt or taken advantage of:

1. Wounded…once bitten twice-shy person…this person is ready but afraid to make the first move. They are simply protecting themselves from hurt and pain.

2. Just want company type…if you can’t be with the one you love than love the one you with person this person has not dealt with their heartache and just want someone there to ease the pain. If you date this person you are merely being a court jester as this person (a) get back with the one they love or (b) find someone more compatible.

3. Looking for $$$ or S3X…money money money money as the O’jays say it or you sing Lyfe with me girl (insert boy) its just your s.e.x we have all seen this person around town…looking for the vulnerable and the low self esteem person to use and sometimes abuse.

4. Lame goes Hollywood…Atlanta can make those that were once lame in high school become top tier with the right clothes, car etc. Well these folks are superficial and they are only looking for someone cute to hang on their arm, because they never had the cheerleader or jock in high school so now it is a game to conquer and see what they missed out on

5. Firecracker…The romance starts off hot and heavy and it crash quickly. Like a firecracker it lights up the sky and it is beautiful, but it goes out fast and it leaves the participant feeling like what happened. Nothing happened you started out hot, fast and heavy and the life cycle played out.

Now you might ask, Professor I have experienced this before and why so. Well my darling you did not take time to analyze your date. Also I will add it is possible to experience one or more of these at the same time!

:wink:

dw

November 23rd, 2009
10:41 am

Well dayum (in my Gucci voice), I guess she likes me!

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
10:42 am

If I don’t like you, I’m not eating with you! You can keep your dining dollars.

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
10:45 am

I usually take a woman out for drinks or coffee (depending on the time of day) on the first date. That way, we can see if we have enough compatibility/chemistry (from both sides) to go on a second one. After 3 dates, I see if she at least offers to pitch in (eg., cover the tip or pay for drinks if I pay for dinner, etc.). If not… :(

I do see many women trying to talk me into taking them to a concert or a fancy restaurant on the first date. They never get a call back.

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
10:46 am

Leggs, good and respectable attitude, but not many think like that… :)

Jeff

November 23rd, 2009
10:52 am

Re: LMAO in ATL…

Thanks for saving me all the typing. Couldn’t have said it better and won’t try.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
10:52 am

What happens, if, after three dates, she doesn’t offer to pay anything but on Date Four cooks you a homemade meal?

And once, you become intimate and you start staying over and waking up some Saturday mornings at her house and she makes breakfast on those mornings, do you offer to buy some milk and eggs after the third time?

I’m just saying…

Luvbug

November 23rd, 2009
11:03 am

Using past relationships…and considering things I have done (just my natural/knee jerk responses) in the past when I enjoyed a guys company

1. I am available to hang out with you on the regular bases.
2. If I trust you, I fall back and am agreeable, not because I want you to lead or because I’m scared, but because I trust you to lead and I feel secure with you (and your ability to lead)…I try to contain it…but sometimes I get all old school girly
3. On small matters, I take one for the team (don’t call you out), even when you’re wrong… For instance, if we end up being the couple barely making the intro and needing the usher with the flashlight to get us to our seats cuz you took a “shortcut” to get us there…sorry I digressed…but you know what I mean…speed walkin in the isles, bumpin folks knees and blockin the view and whatnot.

I can’t say that these are mature or good/bad signs, but just observations about myself.

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
11:03 am

I think it’s sad that just because one is hungry one would accept a date and blatanly use someone for a meal or even a chance to get out of the house. Hell, stay home and cook yourself something to eat and entertain your damn self. Sorry, I don’t like using people.

Melo

November 23rd, 2009
11:04 am

but on Date Four cooks you a homemade meal?

shes In,…I mean In….She’s All In

aint that right WD??

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
11:05 am

Yes, I certainly would, SexyCool. What I meant was whether she actually brings something to the table (not necessarily money). I thought that was implied.

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
11:07 am

I think it’s sad that just because one is hungry one would accept a date and blatanly use someone for a meal or even a chance to get out of the house.

Now that’s some funny ish.. Men using women for s!x and women using men for a plate…

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
11:07 am

Sexycool, there’s nothing that says “I care about you” than cooking them a meal. That’s awesome and far surpasses any pitching she would do with money!

Leggs, sad as it does seem, going out just because one gets a free meal is much more common than you would think!

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
11:09 am

“Men using women for s!x and women using men for a plate…”

Dream, that’s true, except some women eat the meal and go home – without “give it up”. My ex used to do that to her ex.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
11:11 am

Dream your 11:07 says it all! Not to mention we do have some hungry men out here on the dating scene as well.

I will add this to the topic…If I know someone is going through a difficult time, problems at work, death in the family, winter blues etc. I will chime in and treat them to a nice dinner…maybe homemade or a decent steak if that is something they like. However I have seen some folks try to even take advantage of that small gesture.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:13 am

Oh…and on the concert thing, if it’s a concert that I want to see, I’m paying.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
11:15 am

I think I have been sheltered…after three dates do folks really spend the night with each other and cook breakfast in the morning…I was thinking you send them packing to Ihop or something?

I cannot see anyone sleeping on my sheets after three dates and using things around my home I am still trying to get to know them I don’t need to meet their body parts that soon and have their dead skin cells falling around my house.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
11:17 am

Scool~ are you paying for both tickets or will you suggest going dutch as it relates to the concert?

Dan

November 23rd, 2009
11:18 am

@Prof

I have the winter blues, and like my steak medium rare…..

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:19 am

And on the going out for a meal with someone that I didn’t like, that was a waste of my life. I’d rather stay at home and eat a bologna sandwich than spend my time with someone who I don’t want to be interested in.

That being said, I have allowed some of my FZ dudes treat me to the occasional meal and am perfectly fine with it. (They knew what position they played when they called me up and asked me out.)

Dream_n- 6 days til turkey day

November 23rd, 2009
11:20 am

Professor…

We must have been sheltered in the same location then :smile:

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:21 am

Prof – If I like a dude enough to suggest a concert to him, then I am going to pay for both tickets.

Otherwise, I won’t even mention it other than to say, “Yeah, me and my bff are going to the concert next week.”

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
11:21 am

Good tying the topic into the post, Melo!

Be Still and Let God

November 23rd, 2009
11:24 am

PEER PRESSURE

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools will be destroyed.”
Proverbs 13:20 (KJV)

Monday November 23

Today’s Focus: Spiritual Life

Peer pressure is often viewed negatively; however, there is a positive aspect. The old adage, “Association leads to assimilation” is quite true. We become like those we hang around. If you want to grow spiritually, surround yourself with individuals who are actively praying, reading the Word, and aiming to live a life that is pleasing to God. Their influence will inspire you to walk the same path. Likewise, avoid inner associations with individuals whose primary focus is selfish ambition: acquiring wealth and material gain to enhance personal pleasure. Their persuasion will lead you outside God’s will (James 4:3). Remember, “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.”

Today’s Thought: To grow spiritually, build associations with people who are spiritual.

Today’s Prayer: “Lord, help me identify companions who will encourage my spiritual growth!”

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
11:26 am

@Dan…LOL…shall I add a baked potato and what kind of salad dressing would you like?

@Dream…thanks for the 11:20 I thought I was a prude or something.

@Scool that is nice for you to pay for both tickets…I guess I am stingy…I would go dutch in that situation.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:27 am

On the date three/four staying the night and cooking breakfast, I wasn’t necessarily grouping those dates together – although I have done it.

You can very easily cook someone a simple meal and send them home without taking them to bed. I have done that too.

However, at the point, that I decide that I like you enough to bump and grind on you, I have no problem cooking you a meal. Hell, I woke up hungry and I’m sure you did too. If I ever slept with a dude and sent him home before the night was over or sent him out the door without at least offering to make breakfast the next morning, he didn’t get the job done. (And wasn’t invited back – lol)

Leggs

November 23rd, 2009
11:28 am

Also, whenever out to dinner with a guy and he’s paying I always ofer to leave the tip! Only fair!

Timeless

November 23rd, 2009
11:32 am

Leggs, that’s right!

SCool: If I ever slept with a woman and sent her home the next morning without at least offering to make breakfast, she didn’t get the job done (this does happen)… :)

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 23rd, 2009
11:33 am

@SexyCool – Definitely All In

“That being said, I have allowed some of my FZ dudes treat me to the occasional meal and am perfectly fine with it. (They knew what position they played when they called me up and asked me out.)”

Question for you and everyone, isn’t this a form of the using also? Do you ever treat some of your FZ guys out? Be honest. It’s intriguing because like I said, a woman does not have to like you to let you take her out. And also it is kinda the guy’s fault for letting this happen?

I see this alot in Atlanta where women kinda want the benefits of a relationship but since they don’t have it all in 1 package yet with the guy they want, they PIECE it together. Jason is her dinner guy. Joe is her concert guy. Bob is her movie guy.

I think if a guy is in the FZ he shouldn’t have to treat a woman to anything because you guys are friends. I would aim my energy and resources towards a woman I actually have a chance with. But like I said, if a guy allows this, its his fault.

Professor

November 23rd, 2009
11:34 am

As for the paying vs. not paying for a date. My Daddy always told me not to go anywhere depending on anybody. So I always have my money to pay for my dinner when I go out and he told me you always have enough money to get back home. So I cannot see not offering to pay. Also I will say this I think it is childish to keep tabs on who pay and how often. If I invite a guy out I reach for the ticket.

czBrat

November 23rd, 2009
11:34 am

LOL @ Dan 11:18

All I can say is, ‘figuring out’ what’s up with the other person is so 20 years ago for me at this point. What happened to communication? As Leggs said, the verbal AND the non-verbal. Be honest about what each wants and where you’re headed. If what (s)he is saying does not jibe with what they are doing, make a common sense decision and act accordingly.

SexyCool - Definitely All In

November 23rd, 2009
11:39 am

M.Dot – Notice I said “occasional.” And whereas I may or may not have actually taken them out and paid for a meal, I have had them over for dinner or given them free help on their resumes (something that I do as a business and get paid rather well for) or offered to pass their resumes along if they were looking for employment or sent them referrals for their various business interests, invited them to my house for holiday meals and/or parties and bbq’s, bought them a drink if I ran into them out on the town and I could go on.

You know, sht I would do for a friend.

Rell - da rake

November 23rd, 2009
11:41 am

lol…WD i have female friends that do the same thing in your list…and they have ZERO intrerest in my O face….lol…i really know when a women is interest when i leave the babies across her pearly whites….until then she is a friend..lol

LURKER

November 23rd, 2009
11:42 am

Professor… While you are cooking for everyone could you find some time and teach dreamn how to cook!

Where is my JAMACO?
Where is RED/AMAZON? How is magnnum treating you? I mean marcuussss!