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Time’s Up

I think my date double-booked on me. Last weekend, we agreed to meet up after work for a little “happy hour” and flirting.  After a couple of hours, he seemed to be ready to move on to the next stop. Needless to say,  I wasn’t invited.  He wasn’t exactly checking his watch every few minutes but sometimes a girl just knows.

He sent a text message the next day, I declined to meet up with him later in the weekend. It was not because of the double-booking, I had other plans already. I am actually guilty of double-booking guys in one day, so I couldn’t really get mad that someone did it to me.

When you schedule dates or agree to go out with someone, do you pay much attention to the time of day or the day of the week that they suggest?  If you are “penciled in” for drinks or meet up for coffee, do you consider that insulting?

My friend Greg said that he “threw me a date bone” because I only was granted the less then desirable happy hour hook up. I have to admit, I thought he was just being frugal, it never crossed my mind that he was selling me short with an after work meet up. There goes my ego, again.

Do guys send some kind of hidden message by the amount of time they spend with you on a date? Do men notice what days/times women are available to see them?

What is the acceptable amount of time for the first couple of dates with someone you like? What if you are “lukewarm” about them and need some time to find a deeper attraction?

I really think the “outside the box” dates really are helpful in these cases. The pressure is off to be “on” the whole time or slip into a date interview mode.

I am trying to figure out who I should take to the Professional Bull Riding. It needs to be someone who enjoys shaking things up and would make it even an more fun experience.

How open are you for a non-traditional date? Do you think daytime dates that last a significantly longer time then an evening date is a good idea? Do you ever put a time limit on your dates?

243 comments Add your comment

Cemeeli

November 19th, 2009
8:54 am

oh-wee Wise Diva –

I saw the poster advertising PBR Invitational at the Quick Trip this morning! I immediately said “this bull fighting stuff is going to be in my dreams”…

Fyi…if you ever visit Waycross GA. ask the locals about the black cowboys that rally there…o-kay…off that…

…now i’ll lurk until someone come in on a buckskin mare for me.

Professor

November 19th, 2009
9:17 am

Good Morning!

Well well well. WD, I like the nontraditional dates, but I’ll be damned if somebody throws me a bone. I guess when I go out…my time is so valuable and I do not have much of it as it is, so I do not want to play the games. I do not want someone trying to rush through our conversation to make it to the next event. If something like that happens I would call for the check pay my portion and leave his azz there. I always drive for that reason plus a few more. I just think that it is rude as hell if nothing else I think dude should say I have a meeting or gathering at (insert time), but I would like to see your face and have a drink.

As for the double booking when I have done the double booking thingy I really did not enjoy it…it seems like the first date would flow well and I would have to pull myself away to go on the second date, which turned out lousy.

NY2GA, Inc.

November 19th, 2009
9:30 am

I am trying to figure out who I should take to the Professional Bull Riding. It needs to be someone who enjoys shaking things up and would make it even an more fun experience-Wise

@Wise
Take one of your girlfriends with you. You really seem to be excited about this particular event. So, why bring sand to the beach?

Professor

November 19th, 2009
9:35 am

Wise, I agree with NY2GA take one of your girls and enjoy the eye candy…who knows you may even find a good one there.

Dream_n- 7 days til turkey day

November 19th, 2009
9:35 am

GM All,

I am all for the non-traditinal dates. I would definately welcome them.

Now on to this double booking mambo jumbo. Rudeness at it’s best, especially if you haven’t told the first date that you have a pre-arranged engagement. Rushing through drinks or through the meal would have me packing up my stuff and heading for the nearest exit. If you didnt have time, then just schedule in a time when we can both enjoy ourselves instead of making it seem like a round of speed dating.

Leggs

November 19th, 2009
9:42 am

Do you pay much attention to the time of day or the day of the week that they suggest? Most definitely! You need to determine if you’re a tool or a date. :cool:

Do you think daytime dates that last a significantly longer time then an evening date is a good idea? Yes, it can be.

Do you ever put a time limit on your dates? No. Why do that? Go with the flow of the date and if it needs to end early due to incompatibility or whatever, then sure end it. But to go out with the mindset that I’m going to give this person 2.5 hours and then bounce. Crazy concept to me.

mytw♥cents - mytw♥tatas - d♥scentavos - Fallen Angel - Albino Tigress

November 19th, 2009
9:49 am

Enter your comments here

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 19th, 2009
9:51 am

Do guys send some kind of hidden message by the amount of time they spend with you on a date? Do men notice what days/times women are available to see them?

I think the whole scheduling game is tricky. First off, my best time that I suggest is a brunch date (saturday or sunday). This time works because for some reason in my book, women have more defenses up on a friday/saturday night date. I think brunch is different and it’s something about broad daylight and having mimosa’s that makes things go a little better to me. Also you still have the rest of your day if this date ends up being a waste of your time.

Second, I definately notice what times/days women are available to see you. Women can play the busy card but they aint that busy. People make time for what they want. The truth is whenever you meet a woman, they are always dealing with a guy in some capacity or situation. It may be a relationship, dating rotation, NSA, or whatever. They are RARELY super single and at home waiting by the phone for your call. So when she can only meet you at certain times (not saying anything negative), just know in your mind that she may be dealing with other situations that she may/may not tell you about.

mytw♥cents - mytw♥tatas - d♥scentavos - Fallen Angel - Albino Tigress

November 19th, 2009
9:55 am

Seriously, did you just find a way to weave that d@mn rodeo into this topic too? Somebody please do an Intervention…
You need to have at least two cowboys roped in by the end of the weekend, ma’am.

Time is a precious commodity. But id read less into it at the early stages cuz you’re just getting to know, which means getting to figure out how they should be prioritized on your social calendar.

Dream_n- 7 days til turkey day

November 19th, 2009
10:03 am

Women can play the busy card but they aint that busy.

Okay. that just made me laugh.

Professor

November 19th, 2009
10:05 am

Hey Dream…LOL at Mumbo jumbo :wink:

Hey Leggs, thanks for the insight yesterday. I always like to know when it is acceptable to act a FQQL. :smile:

Professor

November 19th, 2009
10:11 am

As for the busy card I do not play it I live it, for the last two weeks I have been working over 60 hours per week. Now factor in sleep, errands and just me time I don’t want to sit and look and some dude nursing a drink and munching on spinach dip while I think about all of the things still left undone. I would rather dude let me get through these next few weeks and maybe just maybe he will look a lot better sipping on that drink and double dipping those chips :evil:

czBrat

November 19th, 2009
10:19 am

GM All!

I’m not a frequent dater and certainly not a double-booker. I can’t recall ever being out with someone who seemed in a hurry to move on to the NEXT soooooo …. nothing to add to this topic :(

Thanx, Leggs, for your parting words yesterday. :)

Dream_n- 7 days til turkey day

November 19th, 2009
10:20 am

Morning Proff…

Not the dbl dipping….lol

I agree most goal oriented/professional woman are busy, but then again I’ll repeat what M. stated. And this is very true…

People make time for what they want

Professor

November 19th, 2009
10:26 am

Hey Dream, I really have five days to go until turkey day…you know I am not counting Saturday and Sunday…lol.

If making time will take away from my beauty sleep…well I am not doing it…I cannot walk around with bags under my eyes and a headache the next day…just saying. :wink:

Professor

November 19th, 2009
10:28 am

Wisey, please pretty please bring me back a cowboy…oh yea make sure he is about 6′1 ~ 6′4 with nice teeth and a cute smile. :wink:

Professor

November 19th, 2009
10:31 am

So, blogsville how do you handle a date that is not going well? Do you (a) play sick, (b) just try to make the best of it (c) just let the person know it is not working and you are going home?

Even if you are with your SO, there are times when it is too cold, too crowded or things are just not right…how do you all handle bad dates?

SexyCool - Honesty works.

November 19th, 2009
10:35 am

Three Words Daily – Set solid foundations.

Dream_n- 7 days til turkey day

November 19th, 2009
10:36 am

Professor

If this is a “new” budding thing, then I would make the best of it without wasting eachother’s time. I’m a sarcastic person and I would probably incorporate a little joke to lighten the atmosphere, but also convey that this isn’t going to well, then I politely thank him for the night/day and be on my way.

czBrat

November 19th, 2009
10:37 am

Even if you are with your SO, there are times when it is too cold, too crowded or things are just not right…how do you all handle bad dates?

that’s easy. “can we go now? i’m ready for some one-on-one.” :)

Wise Diva

November 19th, 2009
10:39 am

Good morning!

@ MyTwo..Oh Yessss, I’m riding the bull topic thing allllll week. :) You’re welcome LOL

I don’t know which of my girls would go with me to this event, I can imagine the look on their faces now, they would be all “what do you wear to a bull riding event!? I can’t ruin my shoes!

SexyCool - Honesty works.

November 19th, 2009
10:40 am

Double booking is just not cool. If you are double booking someone, you are really just not that interested in them to start. Do them a favor – don’t waste their time or yours.

Bad date – I just say so – in a sensitive, politically correct, carefully worded way. No use offending someone just because you’re not really feeling the blood splatters from the front row of the death cage match at WWF. ~teasing~

Professor

November 19th, 2009
10:41 am

czBrat…the one-on-one is a good one!

@Dream_n I have shuffled through some dates, I have pretended to have an emergency…I have leftvacated the premises in my younger years.

Leggs

November 19th, 2009
10:45 am

@Professor, you are truly funny!

If it’s too cold or too crowded somewhere nothing wrong with stating the obvious and suggest going somewhere else.

If the date isn’t going well, whether you verbalize it or not your body language and facial contortions will speak volumes!

Dream_n- 7 days til turkey day

November 19th, 2009
10:49 am

Pretended to have an emergency..

That reminds me of a dear friend of mine that used to go on dates and have me call her. I would say is everything good.. Then she would either say Yes, I’ll talk with you later or she would start the theatrics! “Oh my goodness are you serious, I just can’t believe, I’m on my way… All the while I’m on the other end saying nothing that would justify this Oscar performance. I told her “You do know these guys aren’t that stupid”….

czBrat

November 19th, 2009
10:52 am

Dream_n i’ve actually pretended i just received a text while my phone was on vibrate. then you explain whatever you want as the reason you have to go.

Professor

November 19th, 2009
11:04 am

Leggs/Dream

I am truly silly by nature…I guess I am so serious most of the time that I enjoy giggling and being silly from time to time. I have had guys put a lot of time and effort in trying to plan a good date…well it is boring or something is not right and I do not want to appear ungrateful.

Dream I need to give you my number so you can call and check on me and give me a reason to start acting out, because I will go there…lol.

Me: Not Tito tell me not Tito, ok I am headed that way now give me two minutes I got to be there!

Date: What’s wrong who is Tito? What happened?

Me: I thought I told you I was a Jackson, and Tito can’t get his hair slicked down like Jermaine. I told him to use a toothbrush and some brown gel (still crying and screaming I am on thee wayyyyyyyy).

Dream_n- 7 days til turkey day

November 19th, 2009
11:14 am

Prof

You are a fool… Tito?? lol

I am too, I am very silly. I think thats’s where the nena gets it from. At work I’m not ultra serious, but b/c I’m the youngest one here, I have to maintain that level of assertiveness so that they’ll know that I’m serious about what I do.

But after I hit that door, that’s a different story..lol

cbratz

Do you think he knew you were ditching him, and how can you do that with a straight face?? lol.. I would be lieing/half smiling…

Leggs

November 19th, 2009
11:19 am

@Professor, thank you for my belly laugh this morning. You are a nut. As you can see, I too like being silly and I love to laugh at just abou anything (especially people falling who aren’t hurt, but that’s another story). Life is hard and the things we all have to deal with doesn’t have to be heavy all the time. Lighten up and the outcome of a particular problem may just shift and a better outcome can be had.

I have never had to vacate on a date, but I’ve been asked to call many of my gfs to see if they needed a bailout or not.

Jeff

November 19th, 2009
11:25 am

No wonder so many of you women are having a hard time getting a good man to be interested in you. Nice attitudes!

Dream_n- 7 days til turkey day

November 19th, 2009
11:26 am

especially people falling who aren’t hurt, but that’s another story

Okay I thought I was the only one.. but you have to wait until they get up, brush themselves off and look around to see if someone saw them. Then you know they’re okay and it’s okay to proceed to CTFU… Those are one of those laughs that won’t stop and are very loud… I think I need one of those!

Professor

November 19th, 2009
11:27 am

Now Leggs,

(especially people falling who aren’t hurt, but that’s another story).

That is why if I ever fall and I am not hurt I am going to stay down there on the floor and ask for a tall sexy EMT, some chips and dip…grapes and some wine =

Raqi

November 19th, 2009
11:55 am

Yeah I typically considered certain days and times when agreeing to dates. And there were a few times where I double-booked. Some one purpose and others by mistake.

The only time that I find worthy of speaking of is the one time when my date cancelled because he had to go out of town. I made other plans and those plans were me accepting an invite from a friend. During the course of the date I get a call from the first telling me that he was at the airport and he wanted us to still get together later. Being that I liked him…a lot…I cut the date short so I could get back home in time to go on the date that I really wanted to be on anyway.

As for the other part of the topic I have come up with excuses to end the date because I just wasn’t feeling the person. And I know it has been done to me. It’s really not that hard to recognize.

Bo

November 19th, 2009
11:57 am

I only date strippers.

Don't be cruel

November 19th, 2009
11:59 am

Bull riding? How cruel is that? I doubt the bulls like that. Anyone that considers a bull riding event a good date is barbaric.

Don't be cruel

November 19th, 2009
12:03 pm

It’s no wonder you are still single. Bull riding?

Raqi

November 19th, 2009
12:03 pm

Now the one thing to really be careful about is bumping a date with an excuse such as a family emergency just to find yourself at a different venue bumping into the dumpee. That happened to a friend of mine once.

When you live in the same general area and you meet that person in your area, chances are you frequent the same places. Friday night, Saturday nights are mingling nights. People get out and about. You may run into the person you least expected to.

Professor

November 19th, 2009
12:06 pm

Bumping into someone after the emergency is not a good look at all.

Professor

November 19th, 2009
12:07 pm

Wisey I can never keep up with your email addy, but please send it to me again…I have some topics for ya’

True Love Conquers All

November 19th, 2009
12:12 pm

A Soulful Relationship By Reverend Ronald McFadden

If you’re not married yet, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married
couples and reflect on it. An African proverb states,
“Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after
you marry, close one eye.” Before you get involved and make
a commitment to someone, don’t let lust, desperation,
immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low
self-esteem make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don’t fool yourself that you can
change someone or that what you see as faults are not
really important. Once you decide to commit to someone,
over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves,
and differences will become more obvious. If you love
your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve,
you’ve got to learn to close one eye and not let every
little thing bother you. You and your mate have many
different expectations, emotional needs, values,
dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique
individuals who have decided to share a life together.
Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each
other? Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you
compliment and compromise with each other, or do you
compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the
relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past
hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can’t take someone to
the altar to alter him or her. You can’t make someone love
you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem,
spiritual discernment, and “a life”, you won’t find
yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or
responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy,
deceitfulness, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients
of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong
reasons to be in a relationship.

Melo

November 19th, 2009
12:17 pm

Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong
reasons to be in a relationship

I was agreeing with u,untill u mouthed this blashpemy,”seeking sex….are the wrong reasons!” :lol:

good post tho!

WD..check ur trash can and retrieve my earlier post from there pplz..its very tame,no need to quarantine my stuff…Deees!(aka Dan). :evil:

Professor

November 19th, 2009
12:20 pm

@ True Love…

I just wanted to add a few versus from Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

SexyCool - Honesty works.

November 19th, 2009
12:24 pm

I have read a lot of the articles by Rev. McFadden. He says some good stuff most of the time. But like Melo takes issue with him saying that sex is the wrong reason to be in a relationship, I take issue with him saying that security is the wrong reason.

My expectation that a certain level of security comes with a relationship will not be negotiated. Additionally, a change in status in a relationship (to a degree) is almost default – as well as an increase in wealth or at least a financial boost (If you have chosen well.)

I’m just sayin’….

Cool Shadow

November 19th, 2009
12:25 pm

Now the one thing to really be careful about is bumping a date with an excuse such as a family emergency just to find yourself at a different venue bumping into the dumpee. That happened to a friend of mine once.

I dealt with a similar situation. I tried to arrange a date with someone but was declined because they claimed they were going out of town that weekend. That same weekend I went to have lunch with friends and we were seated. Guess who we were seated next to? The same person that declined my date with one of her girlfriends. And I saw her but pretended not to know her and she did likewise but we acknowledged the situation to our respective friends… weird situation.

Any interest I had in her was definitely killed off… she played the odds that we wouldn’t run into each other and they went against her.

The American People

November 19th, 2009
12:28 pm

“Under my plan of a cap-and-trade system, electricity rates would necessarily skyrocket.” – President Obama.

Smart Azz

November 19th, 2009
12:31 pm

So do you have the hots for Obama? This is a dating blog!

Wise Diva

November 19th, 2009
12:37 pm

LOL @ Don’t be cruel. Please, man. I’m still single because I won’t date you. Don’t get it twisted LOL

DreamsMaterialize

November 19th, 2009
12:56 pm

Hey Blogsville.

Hope everyone is doing well.

I’ve double-booked and been double-booked. I don’t get upset about these things. It’s all part of the dating game. Enjoy it. Otherwise, what’s the point?

jw

November 19th, 2009
12:58 pm

If it is a first date and you are just meeting to see if there is a connection etc then it is not so bad. When making the date, the other person SHOULD be up front and tell you they have another engagement at xx:xx so there time is limited. You then have the option to go forward and accept the date under these circumstances. Keep in mind, SOME GUYS use this for an escape path when Miss Right is Miss Wrong. There is this one and the phone call from a friend. They are not that different from Girls. They also sometimes only ask you for drinks to start with to make sure they want to spend more time with you, see if you are worth a din din. Sometimes that other engagement disappears and they suddenly have more time afterall!

Dream_n- 7 days til turkey day

November 19th, 2009
1:07 pm

Keep in mind, SOME GUYS use this for an escape path when Miss Right is Miss Wrong. There is this one and the phone call from a friend. They are not that different from Girls.

Shocker!