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Full Disclosure

In an attempt to understand the male psyche, I asked a few men the question that a lot of women have pondered.  Why won’t men tell everything? I got a lot of great insight about this.  Apparently, it’s one of those “be careful what you wish for” kind of things that we think we want but probably won’t like it.

What makes some men avoid telling it all is the reactions they think they will get once the disclose what they are truly thinking.  It’s not about any fear (well not physical fear, hopefully) of women, but it is the dread of getting the cold shoulder, bad attitudes, and having the sex come to a screeching hault.

It takes a long time for some men to even trust their mate with their inner thoughts.  During that time, he is observing how the woman responds to stress, disappointment, anger, etc.  This tells him a lot about her character and maturity.  Once they get that trust, often times they are more willing to share with you what they are thinking and feeling.

Guys, when do you feel that you can give full disclosure to the women you are dating? How can a woman show that she is trustworthy?  Why are some men drawn to the type of woman they can’t trust fully and stay in a relationship with her?

Ladies, have you ever dated someone who told you everything? I am talking full disclosure and honesty about who he was, his intentions, etc. Was it a great experience? Did you find that you had to adjust to that type of honesty all the time?

When you are exploring a relationship, do you want to know everything about the person you are dating?

238 comments Add your comment

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
2:25 pm

Melo manipulation? No. I wouldn’t try to use that on him. I just did it the second just to see. He is not that gullible either.

Believe me I know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.

SexyCool - Something Church About Me

November 11th, 2009
2:28 pm

Cemeeli – I always wonder how long people leave some of that ‘crap’ in place once the cameras were gone.

Leggs

November 11th, 2009
2:28 pm

I don’t wear slips every day. I’m wearing a jean skirt today w/o a slip simply because you can’t see through the material.

@Dream_n, try making your own sauce. Can or 2 of tomato paste, water, italian seasoning, garlic, oregano, salt, pepper and sugar (to ward off the tanginess) and season to your liking.

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
2:28 pm

Cemeeli, yeah I am. Lined skirts don’t require wearing a slip. That’s why I buy camisoles and half slips also. I can wear a cami for the top when I don’t need a slip for the bottom. And then there are certain times when I wear the whole slip.

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
2:29 pm

Dream_n you need to try making your sauce from scratch. It takes longer but it is good and taste fresh.

abc

November 11th, 2009
2:30 pm

Funny how yall equate ‘deep conversations’ and ‘arguments’ as having to do with each other. As soon as it becomes an argument, a man will simply remove himself from the situation, period. Arguing with a woman is a losing proposition.

Proverbs 21:19 says “It is better to live in a desert land Than with a contentious and vexing woman.”

Proverbs 27:15 says “A constant dripping on a day of steady rain And a contentious woman are alike;” (compare with Proverbs 19:13, “A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.”)

“An obstinate, argumentative woman is literally like a leak so unrelenting that one has to run from it or go mad. Here are two ways to devastate a man: an ungodly son and an irritating wife.”

Cemeeli

November 11th, 2009
2:32 pm

@ Ms. Leggs – That show came on TLC. You chose a room to be decorated, video tape your interview and my girlfriend sent it in and they called back saying her’s had been selected. This particular taping was for Armed Services Week -segments. It was fun. I did lamps and curtains…didn’t like when they were talking while i was tryna paint and stitch though. I’m not camera friendly…

They tried to do purple and black for a man cave…me and her after that day were like “no” at the same time…it’s funny now.

Dream_n (One action can change the course of your life forever..Be wise think first

November 11th, 2009
2:34 pm

I’m trying to at least make the surface things first, then graduate to the hard stuff.

What’s funny is, I used to pass by the house and get a whole dinner to take back home. Now that I’m temporarily a house guest she ain’t playing that… lol
We well I made spaghetti garlic bread w/ chicken.(well the chicken is debateable lol)

This lady called me at work and was like what are we eating today.. and I told her what I wanted on the menu. That’s when she told me I was cooking.. *blank stare* She said she’d pick up the chicken (uncooked) on her way home… I said don’t worry ma I’ll get it…

I came home with a LARGE bucket of KFC… she was just shaking her head… I couldn’t help but laugh.

Cemeeli

November 11th, 2009
2:35 pm

@ SexyCool – It’s not worth it…i was called at work…took off to help my girl of course and afterwards i was like her – what have we done to his room! When he got home he was just overwhelmed and happy by the cameras, t.v. staff… and his mom, dad, best friend from Marines all there to do something for him.

My girlfriend had that room redone eventually though.

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
2:35 pm

Cemeeli and SexyCool the show that used to get me was Trading Places. Some of those decorators on that show were clowns. They would purposely put stuff in those folks houses that they cleared said not to put.

I was reading a discussion board some years back that one of the people that had been on the show started. I would say about 75% of the people from the show were displeased with the outcome and ended up changing it.

There was this one lady that they glued feathers to her wall. She was so upset. On the discussion she said that her friend with whom the traded places with pleaded with the decorator (when the camera was not on them) to not glue those feathers to the wall. The two families spents two weekends getting those feathers and that glue off the walls.

Had I been on that show they would not have aired my episode because I would have went off on somebody. It would not have been pretty.

LURKER

November 11th, 2009
2:35 pm

Disclosure I want me some Cee right now! I know yousa flirt! Lunch on is on me! :wink:

Drean-m you better layoff that pecan pie before you bust out of everything! Disclosure yousa got a big butt!

Cemeeli

November 11th, 2009
2:38 pm

@ Dream-N – Cute story…You and moms roommates?…She want you to cook too…lol @ KFC

Lord Velonese (Hardy Har Har)

November 11th, 2009
2:38 pm

Twee words daiwy – HA HA HA

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
2:39 pm

abc Deep conversation and arguments are NOT the same.

Wise Diva

November 11th, 2009
2:40 pm

it takes a lot of courage to have full disclosure, most of us don’t like being that vulnerable to other people.

Dream_n (One action can change the course of your life forever..Be wise think first

November 11th, 2009
2:42 pm

Cee..

Yeah for now… It’s me my mom/dad and the lil one..

I think they only good thing for them is getting to see the lil one on a consistant bases… Mann their eyes light up when she comes in or they get home…

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
2:43 pm

most of us don’t like being that vulnerable to other people

That’s why men should keep their drawers on. LOL

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
2:44 pm

WiseDiva, did you just intercept my comment?

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
2:44 pm

Nevermind, there it is.

Cemeeli

November 11th, 2009
2:47 pm

“Had I been on that show they would not have aired my episode because I would have went off on somebody. It would not have been pretty”

@Raqi – Yea…i assauge one of those “bout to go-off”.

Dream_n (One action can change the course of your life forever..Be wise think first

November 11th, 2009
2:50 pm

WiseD

I think you’re absolutely correct. I don’t think anyone likes feeling vulnerable.

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
2:50 pm

The shows I like watch sometimes is Divine Design and Designer’s Challenge. Those homeowners put some real money into those decorating projects. And it’s looks good and high quality when they are done.

MELO

November 11th, 2009
2:51 pm

2.30 pm.abc..was the bible written by a man or men??

Ur quotes smack of male oppression literally.
U Republican abc???

No wonder progressives are breaking away from bible stuff in droves.
Those quotes right there smack of male bigotry and dwnright disregard for the woman’s opinion,feelings or opinion.

Its like if a woman and a man are querrelling,its a woman’s fault! :lol:

Leggs

November 11th, 2009
2:53 pm

The show I like to watch is “Moving Up” where people by homes and redecorate to their liking and the previous owners come back and assess the changes.

@Dream_n, no need to disclose a lot on this blog, but was your friend sad to see you end the relationship. Glad you were able to go back to Mom’s and regroup! Some can’t even do that.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 11th, 2009
2:55 pm

okay what possessed me to think I could eat a WHOLE potato from Jason’s Deli?? WHEW!!

okay now what are we talking bout??

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
2:57 pm

abc what your desired reaction for your lady when something goes awry? Particularly when it’s YOUR fault?

Is she not allowed to speak of it?

I am not condoning arguing and whatnot, but it’s just how things go sometimes. When there are two equal adults under one roof disagreements and arguments will surface.

MELO

November 11th, 2009
2:59 pm

a WHOLE potato Mo???

u got sme planned tonite for that BIG apetite??
u need lots of stamina and energy:
:lol:

Dream_n (One action can change the course of your life forever..Be wise think first

November 11th, 2009
2:59 pm

Leggs.

I like that show too, and I also like the show where they do all these upgrades on their house… and its kinda like a contest between 3 houses. They are trying to figure out which house would have a better return on their upgrades… I luv it.

And to your question.. Let’s just say he wasn’t happy and still isn’t… but my lil one and I are, and that’s all that matters right now.

Cemeeli

November 11th, 2009
3:00 pm

I don’t watch t.v. i had to get the dvd of the show i was in.

I really don’t do much t.v….

SexyCool - Something Church About Me

November 11th, 2009
3:01 pm

The thing about the vulnerability of full disclosure is that it puts all of your faults and flaws – especially the ones that you want to forget about – on Front Street.

And no one wants to have the worst of themselves, the things that they may hate about themselves, are ashamed of or are regretting, spread out for someone to pick apart and judge or give someone as reason to reject them based on things that they used to do, have done or someone that they used to be but aren’t anymore.

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
3:02 pm

Mo we are talking about why a man shouldn’t eat Dream’s spaghetti in the nude while watching Cemeeli paint her friends house purple while wearing Leggs slip and trying look Sexy and Cool.

Leggs

November 11th, 2009
3:04 pm

That was good, Raqi!

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
3:06 pm

Cemeeli I used to have only 3 shows that I liked to watch and other than those I was off doing something else. But now since I married someone that likes to watch television and insisted on having a tv in the bedroom, I watch more now than I ever have.

Cemeeli

November 11th, 2009
3:07 pm

Did you have chicken or turkey chilli on you potato, Mo?

Cemeeli

November 11th, 2009
3:11 pm

the re-cap! funny.

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
3:12 pm

OMG Have you all seen Sammy Sosa’s face? He looks awful.

abc

November 11th, 2009
3:12 pm

Melo, King Solomon wrote most of Proverbs. I don’t think he was a Republican, and I’m not either. I don’t think that ‘progressive’ and ‘breaking away from the Bible’ have much of anything to do with each other.

Raqi, when we have a problem, I insist that blame is not assigned. After all, assigning blame does nothing to solve whatever the problem is. My position is that it doesn’t matter how we got here, compared to what we’re going to do from this point. It was tough for her to deal with this at first, as she expected that blame would be assigned to her all the time. Hey, everyone messes up, no need to get mad and throw rocks. Blame is unimportant.

Assigning blame to each other is a mistake. It’s counterproductive to the union. And, we don’t have arguments. Now it could be that at least some of the reason why is that my girl knows that as soon as an argument fires up, I will disengage and the conversation’s over — I’ll talk through problems for as long as it takes, but I won’t argue about them. Period.

Leggs

November 11th, 2009
3:16 pm

@Raqi, he looks horrible. He looks gay and he says he changed his eye color just to do something different. The only thing that still looks like Sammy Sosa is his nose. He even texturized his hair. The lights may have something to do with it (.03%). He looks a hot mess!

Leggs

November 11th, 2009
3:19 pm

How come you can’t eat just a couple candy corn? Looking down half the bag is gone

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
3:19 pm

I insist that blame is not assigned

When it’s my fault, it’s my fault. There is not blame being assigned, it’s just the truth.

I agree that the issue should be dealt with instead of attacking the person. If you go back and read I said that earlier. But it sounds as if you are saying any time a woman is frustrated or angry to offending the man. We all have a right to get angry. If you screwed up own up to it. Most of woman’s “irritations” stem from something the man has done. Or didn’t do.

I think those verses you posted are talking about just being quarrelsome just because you can. Nobody likes a nag, but when it’s a legitmate frustration, it’s all good.

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
3:22 pm

angry to offending the man

Insert :arrow: angry she is offending the man

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 11th, 2009
3:24 pm

Leggs – Hey Babe..

Leggs

November 11th, 2009
3:27 pm

@InfamousD ~ Hey Sweetie….

abc

November 11th, 2009
3:31 pm

At my age, I’ve had way, way enough of angry chicks. Women can somehow feel justified in getting mad at any little thing, blowing it completely out of proportion. I’m completely over that — if you want to be mad, welcome to it, but I’m out. “We all have a right to get angry”… now, WTF is that all about? Nobody has the right to inflict their own frustration and malcontent on others.

The verses describe women. Acknowledging exceptions to everything, and that nothing is ever absolutely so, for the most part, chicks get mad when they don’t get their way, and most of the time, they don’t know what it is they really want; and if they do, it’s 50/50 at best that they’ll tell you the truth about it. Complicates things; doesn’t mean I have to cater to it.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 11th, 2009
3:38 pm

Cemeeli – Chicken. And I am so done! LOL!

Raqi – thanks for that recap, I think I got it now!

okay so is anyone else REALLY surprised at the whole Shaq fiasco?!?! Other than the fact that there is yet another woman out there that can understand what the heck he says when he talks?? Sounding like a grown azz Mush Mouth from Fat Albert

Willie Dynamite

November 11th, 2009
3:41 pm

Mo – Mush Mouth. That aint right, aint saying you wrong just that aint right.lol!!!

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
3:43 pm

So abc you assign “she just an angry woman” to any frustration or irritant that you a woman has? And if she tries to address it you take the route of tuning her out as if her frustration has no merit in your book because she just a woman?

It’s easy for the other person (i.e. MAN) to say it ain’t that big of a deal or you just being argumentative when they don’t want to deal with it. That’s just like telling me my opinion of POV does not matter. A argument is not necessary yelling to the top of your lungs and all that nonsense. It’s an argument when we don’t agree and we both have the right to say our peace in the matter. It’s not his way or nothing.

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
3:45 pm

Raqi

November 11th, 2009
3:46 pm

Okay I am done arguing with abc. I have stated my POV. LOL

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 11th, 2009
3:47 pm

Willie D – im jus statin the obvious! LOL! That dude irks the heck out of me…..King Big Dummy! :smile: