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Top Ways to Get Approached

In any social setting, single people tend to sabotage themselves without even knowing it.  If you, in fact, want to be noticed and approached, you really need to find ways to signal that you are not going to reject someone who is interested.

While we may look fabulous in our outfits, a lot of women are oblivious about their body language. Crossed arms, eyes on their blackberries, or no smiles can pretty much guarantee you will not be approached!

So ladies who get approached, what is your secret!? Do you find a way to stand out and get a man’s attention? Do you ever approach men? If you have or would, what about the man would compel you to do so?

Guys, what are the top ways women can get approached? When you see someone that catches your eye, what is the first thing you notice that sends you over to where she is? What would make you do a u-turn and go the other way? How long does it take before you decide that you will get her number?

221 comments Add your comment

Willie Dynamite

November 9th, 2009
1:23 pm

Hey Leggs, how ya doing today?

Dan – Me too, glad to be out the game.

Leggs

November 9th, 2009
1:26 pm

Excellent. Nice you don’t have to guess!

Hi, Dan. You’re definitely sounding old, especially channeling Karl Malone!

Raqi...Oh,oh,oh,Oh,oh,oh

November 9th, 2009
1:27 pm

the confusion in approaching them is partly attributed to women wanting men to approach them that they only might be interested in.

That is true CoolShadow, and I myself have been guilty in times past. It’s like when a woman plays hard to get when she really wants to be gotten. But the problem is when men are told by women that a woman playing hard to get just wants you be work harder and be a little more aggressive. (Which I must say is some of the dumbest information we woman have been known to publish.) The men hear this and may tent to act accordingly. But guess what, all men hear this and may tend to act according. Even that slightly unattractive guy wearing yesteryears baby blue polyester suit and making color shoes. He approaches gets the mean mug yet assumes that’s his signal to try harder. And that he does. The woman becomes annoyed because he will not let up however is doing what he has seen work with some and been told by many that it will work. The problem it’s the game gone wrong. Some women play the game yet only wanting certain challengers to play back.

Sorta like hide-n-go-get when we were kids. You played but you really only wanted that certain boy to catch you. However he was not the only boy playing.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 9th, 2009
1:27 pm

Dan that’s what’s up. I understood your POV and am glad you understood mine…

Dan - The Karl Malone of Love

November 9th, 2009
1:30 pm

@Raqi

THANK YOU!!!

Thank you for confirming that information. May I copy and share that comment (@1:27pm)? somebody owe Dan $20!!

Raqi...Oh,oh,oh,Oh,oh,oh

November 9th, 2009
1:30 pm

tend, matching,

czBrat

November 9th, 2009
1:31 pm

Cool Shadow, like Sassy said, it’s really not that difficult. Just approach the women who are clearly sending the ‘come hither’ signals. Others are either genuinely not interested (in which case, leave ‘em alone), or … as Raqi said … playing hard to get (in which case, leave ‘em alone).

Poppa Grande

November 9th, 2009
1:33 pm

Thank u Willie Dynamite.

Meeting and talking to people shouldn’t be rocket science.

In my single days, it really didn’t matter if there was a pack or not. If there was someone that I wanted to speak to, I walked over and talked. If she was with her friends, I just used manners and spoke to everyone. It was just the polite thing to do. I always had confidence. I was brushing rejection off my shoulder wayyyyy before Shawn Carter came along and made a song popular about it.

Dan - The Karl Malone of Love

November 9th, 2009
1:35 pm

@Raqi (and any one else who’d like to answer)

Then why not approach the men you want?

In the post, WD asks about getting approached. And for me, it’s flattering, but it’s also affirming. Not of myself, but her.

I’m all about a woman capable and willing to “get it in” in any situation, including with her man. I don’t consider it agressive and assertive. Be a woman, speak yo mind.

Yet, culturally Sisters don’t really do this (unlady like), may I ask why?

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9++

November 9th, 2009
1:37 pm

My grandma used to say that common sense ain’t all that common.

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 9th, 2009
1:38 pm

@SexyCool – Cloud Status – 9++

Oh yeah I meant to mention this earlier in regards to your Know it all guys…I dont know what it is but on Friday me and some of my Chicago friends made a quick stop at JR Crickets on Camp Creek to have some drinks before we went out…So behind me were 2 really attractive girls at a table and then this older kinda Know it all guy was talking to them….they were playing him to the left so he leaves and I proceed to start talking to the girl, introduce my friend, and everything was cool. Then I give the girl my number (she was from Chicago also) and out of nowhere comes GRANDPA again with a half full pitcher of margarita’s like “Yall need to be drinking this!” and tries to pour his margarita in their glasses…The girl proceeds to check him (rightfully so) who does that? Young guys either buy a drink or not. They dont walk up trying to donate drinks out of the same pitcher they were drinking out of disgusting…..

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9++

November 9th, 2009
1:39 pm

Dan – To your question, I point back to my 1010a response and add to it, I get approached enough that I don’t have to approach anyone.

Poppa Grande

November 9th, 2009
1:41 pm

SexyCool

In law school, we say “common sense isn’t common, but we aren’t complaining because it is profitable.”

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9++

November 9th, 2009
1:42 pm

Mdot – LMAO!

The Tavern is one of MY spots. And if you ever see me sitting at the bar alone, drinking an apple martini with a sugar rim, it’s because they make perfect apple martinis there.

Poppa Grande

November 9th, 2009
1:46 pm

Katt Williams in the Coweta County Jail charged with burglary. Go figure.

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 9th, 2009
1:47 pm

@Blog Women:

What do you think/how do you react when a younger guy approaches you? Do you give him a fair chance or do you hold their age against them?

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 9th, 2009
1:48 pm

@SexyCool – Cloud Status – 9++

That’s cool…There is a bartender there and I taught her how to make one of our specialty drinks and she and her buddies were tipsy from it and she remembered me lol

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9++

November 9th, 2009
1:48 pm

Mdot – Depends on how much younger and what sort of approach and his maturity level.

MND is five years younger than me. It causes me no issues.

Willie Dynamite

November 9th, 2009
1:49 pm

Mdot – That was definitely foul by the ol playa. But dont get it twisted alot of young guys dont have a clue either. See it all the time and for the most part its just funny.

abc

November 9th, 2009
1:50 pm

Make eye contact and exchange a smile. If no eye contact, or no smile, then forget about it. Pretty simple, really!

czBrat

November 9th, 2009
1:53 pm

Then why not approach the men you want? if i’m genuinely interested i have nooooo problem initiating conversation. however, you won’t catch me blatantly coming onto a guy or offering up my phone number.

What do you think/how do you react when a younger guy approaches you? Do you give him a fair chance or do you hold their age against them? my reaction is the same regardless of age. i’m polite. i don’t turn on the feminine wiles in an attempt to mess with the younguns’ head (or boost my ego).

Poppa Grande

November 9th, 2009
1:53 pm

Willie Dynamite

But dont get it twisted alot of young guys dont have a clue either.

That is correct. Age does not necessarily mean mature.

Raqi...Oh,oh,oh,Oh,oh,oh

November 9th, 2009
1:54 pm

Yet, culturally Sisters don’t really do this (unlady like), may I ask why

Dan because many of us were taught not to. We were taught nice young ladies do not pursue men. Good girls don’t call on boys. Make a man work for it.

Making a man work for it is not the same as playing hard to get. Playing hard is just that, playing.

They weren’t wrong in what they taught us. Because most men do not respect women that chase them because most young boys when growing were told girls that did those things were not good girls to deal with.

While things have changed somewhat, the truth is really not that far removed from what we were taught back then. Taking it from back then, A woman is to show the interest and the man is to pursue.

Dan - The Karl Malone of Love

November 9th, 2009
1:57 pm

@Brat

Few walk up and hand someone their phone number, flash a smile and leave (or rather, few can).

It’s all about a conversation of shared interests and desires. Soooo, ion really get your post – but thank you for answering.

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9++

November 9th, 2009
1:58 pm

Like Raqi, nobody likes them fast tailed gals – at least not for the long haul. They are not the kind that ya’ take home to momma. ~lol~

Dan - The Karl Malone of Love

November 9th, 2009
2:00 pm

@Raqi/SC

Thanks for answering.

But I disagree on the “fast tail girls” issue. I call it confidence (to a point).

For Real

November 9th, 2009
2:00 pm

What blog fam! The ladies tend to smile and stare at me more when I have my hand puppet.

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9++

November 9th, 2009
2:01 pm

Like Raqi SAID…

Raqi...Oh,oh,oh,Oh,oh,oh

November 9th, 2009
2:03 pm

Yeah I saw you call me fast tailed, SexyCool.

For Real

November 9th, 2009
2:05 pm

Raqi: “Making a man work for it is not the same as playing hard to get.” = Playing Games which every woman on here profess to hating more than sour cream left sitting out for 6 days.

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 9th, 2009
2:06 pm

@SexyCool – Cloud Status – 9++

MND means what? So if he approaches correct, has his act in tact, than he gets a fair shot? That’s good. We went to Taboo 2 for a friends birthday party once, and the older women were like you too young to be up in here lol…

@Willie Dynamite

I agree WD. The problem with the young culture is that we celebrate trickin. That’s not the business…

Raqi...Oh,oh,oh,Oh,oh,oh

November 9th, 2009
2:06 pm

While the features of the houses may have changed over the years, the foundation still stands the same.

I understand we are living in a different day, some things are still the same. I know. I am married to A MAN. There are certain things men will not let go of and with some of those things I am glad.

For Real

November 9th, 2009
2:07 pm

Mdot: “The problem with the young culture is that we celebrate trickin.” – So true and it’s celebrated by both sexes.

Leggs

November 9th, 2009
2:08 pm

How foolish of him to walk up with half a pitcher. He could have laced with something. Surely he didn’t expect the women to actually accept a drink.

@M.(dot) ~ actually, I’m flattered. Always have been. In the beginning, I tended to hold a young man’s age against him, but numbers don’t necessarily indicate one’s level of maturity. There are some very mature young men out there and some rather foolish older ones!

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9++

November 9th, 2009
2:12 pm

Mdot MND – My New Dude – except he ain’t that new anymore. LOL.

And as to them old chicks…well, that goes back to the Smart Aleck-ness that you talked about earlier. That – and a bit of inner issue combined with a tad bit of aversion to the cougar label. LOL!

Hey, KIMMIE!!!

Raqi...Oh,oh,oh,Oh,oh,oh

November 9th, 2009
2:15 pm

ForReal, making a man work for it merely means a woman should not be so accommodating on certain things. A woman should not settle for a man not taking her out but just coming by the house laying up on her couch, eating out of her cupboard day after day. A man should know how to plan a date. A man that pursues a woman should have plan. A man should know where he wants to go in life before he brings someone else in to ride with him.

In the days we are living in so many women make it too easy for men. We are making them lazy.

Willie Dynamite

November 9th, 2009
2:16 pm

Mdot – 4Real – “The problem with the young culture is that we celebrate trickin.” – So true and it’s celebrated by both sexes.

Thats is really the Sad part of the game right now. Dont make no dayum sense if you ask me.

Leggs

November 9th, 2009
2:24 pm

MAKES NO DAMN SENSE WHATSOEVER! To think people laugh at c……!

Dan - The Karl Malone of Love

November 9th, 2009
2:26 pm

@WD/For Real/MDot

Let’s not act like this sprang up from nowhere.

It’s an up and coming aspect of isht that’s been going on – like Drake and dudes wearing skinny jeans.

The ‘young’ folk don’t create nothing, they pick up and hyper inflate stuff they grew up seeing.

Cool Shadow

November 9th, 2009
2:26 pm

czBrat- I agree w/ your 1:31 assessment of simplicity in the approach but it never seems to play out that way…

Raqi- Thanks for confirming my suspicions. Maybe things would be easier in social settings if women would hold up green cards for a welcomed approach vs. a red card for an unwelcome approach, kind of like when you’re at a churrascaria. lol

Ms. Main

November 9th, 2009
2:31 pm

ForReal, making a man work for it merely means a woman should not be so accommodating on certain things. A woman should not settle for a man not taking her out but just coming by the house laying up on her couch, eating out of her cupboard day after day. A man should know how to plan a date. A man that pursues a woman should have plan. A man should know where he wants to go in life before he brings someone else in to ride with him. In the days we are living in so many women make it too easy for men. We are making them lazy

Say it girl…the old adage that a man will do only what you allow, is not exclusive to the tattered, abused, misused and cheated on…we can spin it in any direction that will allow half stepping. That’s not to say all men are worthless or useless, because I don’t believe that. However, for those men that don’t feel the need for “efforts” then no if they ain’t gotta the won’ta….and yes, if you’re too accomodating in getting minimum fed, then so be it

czBrat

November 9th, 2009
2:32 pm

:lol: @ Cool. great idea! next time i’m @ fogo i’ll just ‘borrow’ one of those cards :)

Ms. Main

November 9th, 2009
2:33 pm

Sorry…not man bashing, just agreeing

For Real

November 9th, 2009
2:33 pm

Raqi: Do you give the same advice to your sons?

1. making a (wo)man work for it merely means a man should not be so accommodating on certain things.

2. A man should not settle for a woman that will not cook but just want to eat out of his wallet day after day.

3. A woman should know how to plan and pay for a date.

4. A woman that wants a man should have plan.

5. A woman should know where she wants to go in life before she brings someone else in to drive for her.

Or are only “fast ass girls” taught reciprocity?

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9++

November 9th, 2009
2:35 pm

Ms. Main…or if someone undesirable walks up to you, you can just yell out “RED LIGHT!”

Dan - The Karl Malone of Love

November 9th, 2009
2:36 pm

Wow, ForReal just wow…..

well put my friend.

For Real

November 9th, 2009
2:36 pm

Ms. Main: What does “being too accomodating” mean and does it mean the samething for men?

Raqi...Oh,oh,oh,Oh,oh,oh

November 9th, 2009
2:37 pm

Yes, ForReal, I do teach my son what he is supposed to do as a man and what not to allow a woman to do to him.

For Real

November 9th, 2009
2:40 pm

Raqi: “Yes, ForReal, I do teach my son what he is supposed to do as a man” – How do you know what a man suppose to do? Shouldn’t that come from Mase? I mean Mase didn’t/don’t treat all the women in his life the way he treats you. So, if you tell your sons to treat women the way Mase treat you then you are setting them of for failure and heartach.

abc

November 9th, 2009
2:41 pm

For Real and Raqi, if a man or woman gets slack simply because one allows them to, I think that speaks louder than anything about the character of that person, and merits consideration of whether one can overlook such a lack of character and invest of themselves in that other person. It’d be a case-by-case judgment call. I don’t think it’s a matter of training through playing hard-to-get or other games, that will only confirm what you already think of them.