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I’m Not Happy

I know a lot of us would like to be in relationships right now but sometimes we tend to forget that they take a lot of work and effort.  When the tough times hit, like they inevitably will, we aren’t always prepared for it.  This is when you find out what your relationship is really made of, good or bad.

When a woman is unhappy, she probably has a change in her behavior towards her partner. Because men have innate differences from women they feel the need to want to fix it.  They actually care a lot about why their woman is unhappy and want to do what they can to improve it.  It’s almost as if they take it personally when their woman isn’t satisfied and fulfilled.

Ladies, have you ever dated a really moody guy? I am not referring to the random cranky mood but a guy who has a lot of bad moods, how did you handle it?

Guys, do you think that your woman’s unhappiness is a reflection of your relationship with her? Does it bother you when she is unhappy?

Do you think we are responsible solely for our own happiness in a relationship?

209 comments Add your comment

Melo

November 6th, 2009
9:04 am

Do you think we are responsible solely for our own happiness in a relationship?

That woman who faked her own kidnapping and was frolicking with another guy in a secluded location, for 3 days was unhappy!

Good morning!

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
9:11 am

Do you think we are responsible solely for our own happiness in a relationship?

Yes and No.

Yes because neither a person nor their deeds can alter your emotions unless you allow yourself to be touched by them. Happiness as well as despondency is something we allow or disallow. A person can do all they know to do to fulfill your needs and wants but you have to choose to be happy. Or not.

No, because we get together in an effort to fulfill needs and desires. I need my husband. I desire his companionship. I need his love. I desire his support. I need his touch. To be in a relationship void of those things I cannot be happy.

We are together for what we provide each other. Love, support, companionship, physical touch. Those things make us happy.

Now this is not to be confused with an individual that feels that they cannot be happy unless in a relationship. That’s something very different. But, however, when you are in a relationship your desire should be to see your partner happy. And that happiness partly comes by those things we provide.

So yes when we see the other maybe having a bad or off day, we will ask what the matter is, or is there something I can do help or make it better.

When he is happy he makes me happy which makes me make him happy leading him to make me happy leaving me wanting to make him happy.

C tha 1

November 6th, 2009
9:12 am

Yes you are responsible for your own happiness…It’s YOOOOUUURRR SELFF ESTEEEM!! If you’re like Oprah and don’t realize your own happiness until you’re 50 then you missed the big picture some where down the line. F’ed up things are going to happen…get over it. They happened yesterday, will happen tommorrow, and chances are it will happen today. Your SO is not responsible for handling all of YOUR life’s challenges.

Dan -fighting for (inner) peace

November 6th, 2009
9:21 am

Between Raqi and Ctha1 posts, there lies a truth.

“A person can do all they know to do to fulfill your needs and wants but you have to choose to be happy. Or not.” <— why I like Raqi

I state often that you have to love yourself before loving anyone else, or allowing anyone to love you. At 31, I'm finding that I might be ahead of the curve in that respect because a lot of people don't seem to realize this fact.

"Yes you are responsible for your own happiness…It’s YOOOOUUURRR SELFF ESTEEEM!!" “But, however, when you are in a relationship your desire should be to see your partner happy.”

These are the same side of the coin. You can’t expect your partner to provide for your happiness everyday, augment, yes; provide no. People that “don’t know” what they’re looking for (myself included) in a partner or potential mate, should ensure that their not requiring more from the other person, than of themselves regarding the day-to-day happiness.

Sufficed to say, you shouldn’t be with someone that makes you miserable. But as an adult, the person you choose to be with shouldn’t be responsible for providing anything but a welcomed addition to your day/life.

sorry about the diatribe

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
9:25 am

hey…

Oh so he’s moody ‘n cranky?…well, my cute little silver shoes, and my fuchsia Pashmina says that I should not be unhappy…

I’m my own happy….

Lady J

November 6th, 2009
9:26 am

Happiness is an internal state and we are responsible for that state…a relationship can’t determine it or other people…overall it does affect every area in your life if you are not….Happy Friday!

ImAPeach404

November 6th, 2009
9:28 am

omg WD, can you puh-leez get outta my relationship! :lol:

I’m currently dealing with a moody guy. But… I’m understanding for two reasons: 1. He’s going through a divorce and is absolutely devastated that his kids are no longer in the house and ole girl is giving him a h3ll of a time and 2. He is very aware that he is moody and is always, always, ALWAYS open to talking and working things out. He is a great communicator and 95% of the time he comes to me wanting to get things cleared up.

I can tell ahead of time when he is in a funk and I’m more likely to give him some space.

Do you think we are responsible solely for our own happiness in a relationship?
Solely? Ehhh… I have mixed feelings about this one. YES because I do realize that if I’m not happy on my own I’ll never be truly happy in a relationship. And NO because I can be happy with everything else in my life but if my relationship is upsetting me, I cannot fix that alone.

Good morning children!

ImAPeach404

November 6th, 2009
9:32 am

When he is happy he makes me happy which makes me make him happy leading him to make me happy leaving me wanting to make him happy.

@Raqi – pure poetry my sistah!

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
9:34 am

Happy Friday… :)

While I do agree your happiness should come within yourself. When it comes to being in a committed relationship the game kinda changes. While you may not be dependent upon your mate to be happy. Things that he says/does can affect your happiness.

I dated a really moody guy. You know how you come in the house happy, just picked up your chica/chico and work was suprisingly good. Then you come home to someone who already has a really bad attitude. Although you try not to let it get to you, for me it did. Especially if that person gives off a negative vibe.

Kym

November 6th, 2009
9:34 am

Good Morning All,

Yes, you are responsible for your own happiness. No one not even your partner can make you unhappy without your permission. If you are angry or upset with something someone did to you, or said to you. You have given yourself permission to be angry. Your moods are your moods. It is asking alot of one person to sing and shout you happpy because you are in a mood. Allow the mood to pass or let them know hey I am feeling funky today…but err expecting that person to make you happy..not fair.

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
9:35 am

Guys, do you think that your woman’s unhappiness is a reflection of your relationship with her? Does it bother you when she is unhappy?

I think a your woman’s unhappiness is not necessarily a reflection of your relationship with her, but maybe an IMBALANCE in her life. It would be great if everyone was 100% in relationships, but let’s be honest, if something is wrong at work, with her family, kids, or if she is not where she thinks she needs to be in life; goals, career, marriage, etc. (NOT ALL BUT SOME) women may see you as a PUNCHING BAG rather than a resource and take issues out on YOU.

I know there have been times where I was putting in 110% and she still was not satisfied. Sometimes they need to get over themselves and the personal pity parties. When she is unhappy, I dont try to play Dr. Phil…I just let her be and not force anything and when and if she is ready to talk it out, Ill be around….

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
9:42 am

No one wants feel like they are in relationship all by themselves. And that’s what happens when one partner fails to provide what it takes to make their partner happy.

I have been in that type of relationship. I was very unfulfilled. I was happy with other aspects of my life, but I was not happy in the relationship. And he just would not do what I needed for me to be happy while with him.

I hate to bring this up because I don’t want the topic to change but that is why a lot of people cheat. I don’t condone cheating at all. I think it’s wrong and anyone that does it is a low life. If you are not happy you need to get out. However, I cannot deny the fact that I have known people to cheat because that other person is giving them what they need. It’s not right but it’s real.

And it’s not always physical needs that drive people into the arms of someone else. It can be an emotional need. A person can feel like their partner is not supportive of them and their goals. Then one day they meet someone that shows an interest in them and their dreams or goals. That person is giving them what they need.

It ain’t right but it happens.

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
9:44 am

you come home to someone who already has a really bad attitude. Although you try not to let it get to you, for me it did. Especially if that person gives off a negative vibe.

Dream_n – Remember our discussion about peace at home…i’ve found that when one person is “dealing”, let them deal…and just lurk. You can be there for them, be happy, and keep the peace.

Sometimes your good positive energy transfers…sometimes it doesn’t…but your focus should be that PEACE.

I always say “this too shall pass”… even when i’m in a funny mood cause being is upset/mad is funny to me…because it’s wasted energy really.

Bible Plug: The bible says…”be angry and sin not” Ephsians 4:26…do not allow the bad energy to pull you into some wrath of anger.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
9:44 am

And NO because I can be happy with everything else in my life but if my relationship is upsetting me, I cannot fix that alone

EXACTLY.

abc

November 6th, 2009
9:46 am

Everyone is responsible for their own happiness in any situation, period, no matter the venue.

SexyCool - Cruising.

November 6th, 2009
9:47 am

Three Words Daily – Design your destiny.

ImAPeach404

November 6th, 2009
9:48 am

but err expecting that person to make you happy..not fair.

@Kym… I think there is a difference between what WD is asking and what you have stated above. Like Dream mentioned @ 9:34, you come home to someone who already has a really bad attitude. …having to deal with that day after day after day can start to affect your happiness “in the relationship”. That’s different than them making you happy/unhappy.

We are together for what we provide each other. Love, support, companionship, physical touch. Those things make us happy.

@Raqi – well stated.

SexyCool - Cruising.

November 6th, 2009
9:49 am

Yes. I am responsible for how I choose to react to a situation, but that does not mean that I can always control that reaction.

If there is an imbalance in my life, whether it be relationship, work, family, with self, whatever, I am going to react to it, hopefully in a positive manner. But regardless of my action, reaction or attitude, I still take total responsibility for it.

mqew

November 6th, 2009
9:49 am

Morning

I am indeed responsible for my own happiness, and my SO is indeed responsible for his. However, I am extremely elated to also say that we both try to make each other happy. Just the fact that we try to make each other happy, makes us happy. In other words, finding someone that wants and loves to make you happy is the shizzzniggity :-)

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
9:52 am

@ Peach – If any person deals with an unhappy home…day after day, after day..they are playing themselves…it’s constantly effecting you negatively?…Do something about it.

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
9:54 am

@ mqew – On a lighter note…some things your SO does that brings you happy to tears…now that’s the business!

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
9:54 am

We are together for what we provide each other. Love, support, companionship, physical touch. Those things make us happy.

I also like what Raqi stated above.In a relationship it’s 50/50 a two way street as I’ve heard so many people state on here before. So why is it that in the happiness department you are solely alone???

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 6th, 2009
9:55 am

TGIF!!! So glad its friday!!

okay off to grab a pepsi, BRB

Melo

November 6th, 2009
9:59 am

I have known people to cheat because that other person is giving them what they need

NEEDS??

A lot of times,thats all they get,SEX coz the other party does not really have anything of substance to make they stay for a long time.

I wld not stay in an unhappy relationship coz iam responsible for my own happyiness.The other party can only complement the happyiness I already have.
No way i wld go seek to live or date somebody if iam not happy myself.
People who cheat becoz they think they can get happyness outside are not,in my own opinion,seeking happiness.They are seeking a temporary fix, a thrill,to feel the void caused by the constant unhappyness.
To get real substantive happyiness,they need to get out and heal so they can be happy within themselves.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
10:00 am

The one thing I learned is Im not responsible for my mates happiness.. I used to feel that way because it made me feel good to see her happy.. In my marriage I often times put her happiness before mine because I was raised “If mama is happy then everybody is happy” but thats not always the case.

ImAPeach404

November 6th, 2009
10:02 am

But regardless of my action, reaction or attitude, I still take total responsibility for it.

@SexyCool – yea? can you be total responsible for a partnership? I know that I am in TOTAL control of my career, education, finances, credit, attitude, outlook, how my household is run… those are the types of things I feel I am solely responsible for. However, I don’t feel I can take total responsibility for b/c it requires participation from another individual whom I cannot control. I have power over what I put in, but not what I get out…

@Cee – I totally agree with your 9:52, do something about it. Stay or go. Work on it or give up. Deal or no deal. But that doesn’t negate the fact that it can affect your happiness in the relationship.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 6th, 2009
10:04 am

okay…..Morning Eva-body!!!

Cemeeli – I like this chica “If any person deals with an unhappy home…day after day, after day..they are playing themselves…it’s constantly effecting you negatively” ^5!

Infamous – I learned that lesson too! Then I woke up one day and realized that no matter what I did, dude was just pissy and stopped giving a phluck. Granted there were other issues but the bottom line was I couldnt make him happy and he was actually looking for me to do that. Now I like to see my mate happy, adding to what is already there. But I cant MAKE your happiness.

Chink

November 6th, 2009
10:04 am

Raqi

I am confused when you are in a relationship and you are not happy …Leave… why cheat?? Cheating means you dont want to leave but what alittle something something too. It boils down to communication…people can’t read each others minds.

On the happiness ..I do control my happiness while there may be bad days I dont expect anybody to fix it but the most imnportant thing to me is just being there with me.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
10:06 am

I agree that we are responsible for our happiness, however I cannot get with the train of thought that our partners do not hold a certain amount of responsibility for giving into the relationship. Chances are if that person is not providing the need you have you will seek it elsewhere. Yeah that does equate to you finding your own happiness but it also means that your happiness is outside of that relationship.

Which takes us back to the question at hand. And again yes, your partner is responsible for providing for your happiness within the relationship.

Hell if you ain’t giving me what I need to be happy, I don’t need or want you in my life.

mqew

November 6th, 2009
10:06 am

Ceemee (said in an New Orleans dialect)
Yes Indeed :-)

Chink

November 6th, 2009
10:07 am

People who cheat becoz they think they can get happyness outside are not,in my own opinion,seeking happiness.They are seeking a temporary fix, a thrill,to feel the void caused by the constant unhappyness.
To get real substantive happyiness,they need to get out and heal so they can be happy within themselves

Agreed!

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
10:08 am

Mo – Happy Friday to you!

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
10:08 am

Chink why are you confused? Leave is exactly what I said one should do. However, not all people do that. Why? I don’t know. They would have to tell you.

But in the case of my former relationship where I was not happy, I left. But not everyone choose to do that.

Dan -fighting for (inner) peace

November 6th, 2009
10:10 am

I’mma try this one mo time:

You are responsible for your own happiness, your chosen partner in life should augment that happiness.

In fact, that’s why you chose them in the first place, right?

SexyCool - Cruising.

November 6th, 2009
10:11 am

Peach – I never said I took responsibility for the partnership. I take responsibility for my reaction.

Can my partner do something that makes me feel unhappy? Well, yes, he can. However, it’s still MY feeling and MY reaction for which I am responsible for.

I also concede that some of this happiness is ish is subjective and we can spend all day on this merry go round.

BTW, It makes me happy to know that MND wants to make me happy. (Which again proves that we can go round and round on this topic. I, for one, am choosing to get off the ride.)

Kym

November 6th, 2009
10:12 am

If a person I love is constantly miserable. I may have to love them from afar..because there is no way I will continue to let their unhappiness cast a shadow on me. Yes I understand that you can be in a relationship with someone who always has a funky attitude. But my question is not to them but to you. Why in the heck are you there? It may hurt your heart to leave or let go..but what is holding you there..other than hoping for the moment they snap out of it and get right. I mean we can support and love a person without falling into the darkness with them.

Let’s take for example a person who goes out and cheats because they are not feeling appreciate, respected, loved, or whateva at home. 1st that person made a choice to start this relationship, marriage or whatever, no one forced them into, they chose. 2nd they make a choice to be unhappy in said relationship. He doesn’t show me he loves me, she doesn’t listen to me..so I am unhappy. Okay, did you tell them what you needed..yes..did they try..no. Is that person happy with you?..most time that question is the million dollar one. Well if you are unhappy are they unhappy to? Did you ask? Heck that person maybe just as miserable as you are, or not feel anything is wrong.

By the way the pretend kidnapping in Clayton. Seriously Clayton Co..ya’ll got major issues down there.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 6th, 2009
10:12 am

Ladies, have you ever dated a really moody guy? I am not referring to the random cranky mood but a guy who has a lot of bad moods, how did you handle it?

I did ONCE and it like literally cast a huge cloud over what we were trying to build. Life happens and it’s not always good…it’s when bad things or trying situations arise and the attitude we have with regards to it that can make a bad situation worse. That being said, this guy seemed to like to always be the “woe is me” victim almost constantly wallowing in self pity. His moods reminded me of Sybil(not blog Sybil but the one played by Sallie Fields from that movie) b/c I never knew who I was going to see when we met.

Needless to say that didn’t last long and that was like ~6-7 years ago. Funny thing is I heard through a mutual friend that he’s STILL doing the same thing.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
10:12 am

But Infamous in your situation it seems that you were doing what you needed to do, it’s was on here from there.

That’s what I said in my first comment. We are only responsible for providing those things that we are in the relationship for. Anything other than that it’s up to each individual to be happy with it or not.

But all in all we are with who we are with for what we need and want and for what they provide. When the provision is not there, it affects our happiness within that union.

ImAPeach404

November 6th, 2009
10:12 am

Leave is exactly what I said one should do. However, not all people do that. Why? I don’t know. They would have to tell you.

@Raqi – you know why. Most people (mainly women) would rather have a piece of a relationship than say they are single.

Chink

November 6th, 2009
10:14 am

Raqi

The bottom line is they are afraid to leave …they are gambling on borrowed money.

When people leave they are confident and know that it will not work. When they don’t it can only mean apprehension something is holding them back.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
10:14 am

Guys, do you think that your woman’s unhappiness is a reflection of your relationship with her

If she is unhappy(long term unhappyiness),she needs to step coz more than likely,we have failed to compromise!

mqew

November 6th, 2009
10:16 am

Raqi -> Hell if you ain’t giving me what I need to be happy, I don’t need or want you in my life. YEPPP! :-)

Say it again for the crowd :-)

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
10:17 am

To answer your question…

Yes Dan – I chose him because he increases my happiness.

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
10:17 am

BTW, It makes me happy to know that MND wants to make me happy. (Which again proves that we can go round and round on this topic. I, for one, am choosing to get off the ride.)

Girl help me off too!!!

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
10:20 am

Peach and Chink just from talking to the person that I know that has cheated, it seemed like she held on to her relationship because it did provide the fulfillment of some areas but what it was lacking she found elsewhere. Obviously what was lacking was not so dire that it was worth leaving the other behind.

It ain’t right, but it’s real.

Chink

November 6th, 2009
10:23 am

It’s really funny I wouldn’t even know how to cheat if I had the opportunity.

Hef

November 6th, 2009
10:23 am

It’s been a week or so-hello all. Topic-I’ve been single for 51 years(now engaged),and it has always been easy for me when things got a liitle tough to pack-up and leave so to speak.My EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL Wife to be will not allow that to happen(so far), she makes me work at our relationship,something I’ve never had to do before. So when I detect her down,I now try a little harder to 1st understand, 2nd rectify,& 3rd learn.She is quite a bit younger than me,so there are many things to deal with, generation gap,political diferences & difference of race to name a few. We are both college educated & successful in our chosen fields, which does’nt make us any better or wiser to the pros & cons of relationships but it does make us driven( thanks mainly to her) in our relationship.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
10:25 am

Ain’t nothing wrong with being in a relationship and saying “look this is what I need to be happy in this relationship”. It’s your right.

When you allow things to go unstated resentment will set in. You will start to feel the burden and the weight.

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
10:26 am

@ Hef – Congrats…

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
10:26 am

Moving forward I am not going to be with a man that feels like he does not have any responsibility for my happiness nor I his. That’s what a relationship/committment is about.

If you are truly in love with a person you will do anything (legal) to make them happy and vice versa. I’m not referring to this very moody person that always has an attitiude and is impossible to please. Just like everyone said.. You have to learn to move on from that. I’m talking about your best friend/ your mate/ your right hand wo(man)/ the person you are spending your life with/ the person whom you love with every ounce of your body.

If we are working together to be in a happy loving relationoship..
Why the heck wouldn’t I try to make him happy?? Makes no sense if you ask me….

ImAPeach404

November 6th, 2009
10:32 am

His moods reminded me of Sybil(not blog Sybil but the one played by Sallie Fields from that movie) b/c I never knew who I was going to see when we met.

LMAO!!!!!!!

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
10:38 am

Either your partner will oblige within reason or reject. It’s up to you from there.

I say within reason because situations that a bringing the unhappiness outside of the relationship are out of your control. At that point all you can offer is support and advice. The support and advice alone can be enough to show that you at least care for your s/o happiness. It may not help change the situation but it takes care of the internal needs within the union.

No one should subject undue burden onto their mate. Don’t expect them to change the world for you because they can’t.

I do know this, if I started having problems at work that affected my happiness my marido would offer me advice on how I can maybe change somethings. I know if having tried all I can do he would offer me a way out so that I can possibly find other employment. His support alone is that is needed. The rest is up to me.

i'm swiss

November 6th, 2009
10:38 am

“If you are truly in love with a person you will do anything (legal) to make them happy and vice versa.”

…And several things that are illegal — well… in GA, at least… ;-) :lol:

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 6th, 2009
10:43 am

Peach you ain’t right…lol. We all have bad days once in a while but with him it almost seemed constant and that becomes draining eventually. It’s like he looked for happiness from the external instead of starting with himself.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
10:48 am

Raqi – Yeah I wanted to keep my household straight but I invested too much of my happiness in it. Eventually you figure out nothing you do is good enough or acceptable in this persons eyes.. The person has to be responsible for their own happiness and me for mine.. Then we can come together and be one big bundle of happy happy Joy Joy and not a ball of confusion. Investing so much of your happiness in it leaves you questioning yourself and waivering on well dang is this right or would that be right, when all your life youve never questioned your decisions.. Please Im glad I shook the spot it was the best thing I did for my HAPPINESS.

ImAPeach404

November 6th, 2009
10:55 am

@Sassy – I aint right? YOU said it!!!

Hef

November 6th, 2009
11:00 am

I’ve dated some women that in hindsight were either truly evil or mentally touched.One who was divorced and had 3 children(suprise),her children were in Columbus being cared for by a friend.I asked how she could be away from her children,so low and behold she shows up on my doorstep with kids in tow thinking that I meant for her/kids to move in-youch! Another was a beautiful woman that was a caring nurse who worked the night shift.Well she did work the night shift and did play a nurse,but just was’nt the type I was thinking. She also turned out to be a “crack” dealer,convicted felon(forgery),& thief (stole my secondary car for drug runs).There have been other dingdongs along the way,thus being single for all these years.To be fair tho, I’ve screwed up my fair share,and let some really good women get away.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
11:05 am

I am guilty of actually making the statement twice to my marido of “I want you to fix it” and one was concerning something that was within the reigns of our union and the other was not. I admit that was an unfair statement to make both times, but I did make it. One instance I felt that it was his fault and he needed to fix it. Although he couldn’t, he tried and I had to leave it alone after that. The second instance had nothing to do with him, but I was offer estimating his abilities as a mere mortal man due to my frustrations.

I am not perfect, just human. And the same goes for him.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
11:11 am

Three Words Daily – Peter Piper Picked

abc

November 6th, 2009
11:18 am

Whether one pursues their own happiness with their mate or not depends on how much of that pursuit is common between them. If one is mired in doldrums and the other pursues their happiness on their own, an emotional distance starts to form and grow. Everyone should have their own interests and pursuits, but if it comes to pass that there is nothing shared between them in pursuit of happiness, it’s unlikely that their relationship will survive.

That’s where a bit of the work comes in. Become like-minded in at least a few things that you can pursue together for find happiness.

Hef

November 6th, 2009
11:19 am

I’m at an age now where I allow my fiance in her eyes the belief she is making me into a better person/stepfather. Before I would rebel and go onto the next conquest,now if its not to out of character I comply and for the most part there is happiness in “mudsville”. I’ve decided that I don’t have to be the main focus of the relationship,and am quite content with her believing she is at the helm.I’m more at ease & life is good.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
11:29 am

Vicky is having an awesome sale. I may check her out tomorrow.

While it is not necessary it would make me “happi” er if the marido paid the expense. :lol:

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
11:41 am

It’s amazing how certain little things can just brighten your day.

An unexpected note

A baby’s smile

Wearing something super sexy even when no one knows you have it on

The sound of children laughing

An unexpected increase in your pay, no matter how small or large the amount

Buying yourself something new

The smell of your favorite dessert

A clear blue sky

An unexpected gift from your honey

A comfortable bed with fresh linen

A smile from a stranger

Elijah ....

November 6th, 2009
11:44 am

Good Morning blogging superstars!

Happiness… One must truly have happiness within yourself in order to start the process being happy. I will have internal and external happiness by accomplishing goals that I have set for myself. In a relationship I will express to that person what I require from them to add to my happiness and if they put forth the effort I will be pleased.

Hello Super, Sexy Sassy! :wink:

Hello Sexy Coooooooollllllllllllll! :smile:

Dan -fighting for (inner) peace

November 6th, 2009
11:54 am

A ‘nasty’ (in a good way) text message/email

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 6th, 2009
12:12 pm

Peach I was joking when I posted the “you ain’t right”,hence the “lol” after it…..didn’t really see a need for all of those !!!!!! but if that’s how YOU feel….run it chica.

Hey Eli ;) How YOU doin?

LURKER

November 6th, 2009
12:23 pm

Women take notes to borrow a line from For Real.

Peach when your SO complains this is what you do ZZZIIIPPPPPPPP!

When I am watching the game and the Falcons are losing ZZZIIIPPPPPP!

After I take you to dinner and we are driving home ZIIIPPPP!

More to come!

SexyCool - Cruising.

November 6th, 2009
12:32 pm

SexyCool - Cruising.

November 6th, 2009
12:38 pm

So…during the month of October, I COMPLETELY fell off my workout plan and because of the weather, was playing very little softball, but did not change my eating habits ONE bit.

Messed around and gained almost five pounds…..AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!
However, I’m back on it…FOR REAL….again…LOL!

Melo

November 6th, 2009
12:42 pm

Although he couldn’t, he tried and I had to leave it alone after that

do u manipulate ur man or is he that amenable to manipulation??

but I was offer estimating his abilities as a mere mortal man due to my frustrations??

???????????

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 6th, 2009
12:43 pm

LOL! Hang in there SCool! :smile:

Raqi – music always brightens my day

waking up and its friday

my weekly phone call with the siblings

fresh air

Melt_me

November 6th, 2009
12:45 pm

I have I been in a relationship with a moody guy. When we initially dated I assumed he was a more quiet, reserved man but I was wrong, he was either emotionless or sad. Nothing could be done for this man to stay happy for more than one day. I had to take a good look at the situation and realize that he was unhappy with himself not me or the relationship. It was unhealthy for me to try to walk on egg shells or try to “entertain” him every day. Now that I look back on it he was unhappy in every area of his life- work, kids, love life…He was miserable, no passion for anything. It didn’t take me long to realize I had to go.

Tazzee - I'm Happy!!!

November 6th, 2009
12:46 pm

Afternoon Folks!

Raqi seems to have covered my response in her posts. When you are in a committed relationship, you and that person are essentially joined together. When you give your heart to someone, they do have the ability to make you happy or cause you pain. Yeah, yeah, yeah – we say it’s our choice to respond to what they do – but if you’re totally in you can’t help to respond in a manner that correlates with that action….well at least that’s how I am.

My fiance’ and I were having a discussion this morning about how he wants me to be happy and will do what he can to make sure I’m happy. That alone makes me happy and that makes me want him to be happy.

I’ve had a busy morning and now I’m taking this brief break to get some lunch.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
12:53 pm

I crossed paths with my former BFF’s sister while out getting lunch. She says he and his wife are getting ready to have their second child. That’s nice to hear. I am glad he is doing well.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
12:53 pm

Hey Tazzee. How’s it going?

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
12:55 pm

waking up and its friday

LOL Mo. Saturday mornings make me ecstatic.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
12:56 pm

Messed around and gained almost five pounds

Yeah SexyCool it’s so easy to find those extra pounds, but 10 times harder to get rid of them.

2CPTG's #1 Fan

November 6th, 2009
12:58 pm

where is he anyways? wit his phine self.

happy friday bloggers!

bbl.

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
1:12 pm

@Blog Ladies

I know that society wants guys to put and keep women on a pedestal, but what if a guy genuinely came out and said he was not happy with you and told you the area. My friend has a great relationship except in 1 area and she is not budging…Do you compromise yourself for this relationship to survive?

Chink

November 6th, 2009
1:18 pm

M.

If its something that I can do I will do it. But if its something that “is not me” I can’t because I will hate him later. And will prbably be the cause of our demise. I wish people would just put all their cards on the table before you get in too deep!

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
1:20 pm

Mdot it all depends. How important is the thing that is wanted? Is it legal? Is it worth losing the relationship for? Will it cause the person to compromise their integrity or moral beliefs? It is a selfish “me” request that the relationship could function just fine without?

M. (pronoucned M dot)

November 6th, 2009
1:25 pm

@Raqi

It’s interesting because it’s nothing that she has not done before. I think the issue is deeper because to me if you did it for others but if its a problem with me then it’s a problem right?

It’s like she kinda reformed. They have NEVER closed the deal but have done everything else. This has been torturing him for 2 years! This is a grown woman. I would rather have nothing if I were him than to be TEASED.

LURKER

November 6th, 2009
1:27 pm

When MND wants a sandwich from SC can you ZIPPPPPPPP while I am eating this great sandwich!

When Raqi wants Mason to hold the baby and Mason is tired from working…..ZIPPPPPPPP O.K. bring me my little precious daughter!

Downtown Heffa

November 6th, 2009
1:27 pm

OK, let’s be honest. Most of us are unhappy due to the unrealistic expectations we’ve placed on our partners. They haven’t changed. They were the same when we met them OR we couldn’t see the forest for the trees. It’s been so long since we’ve had someone in our lives that anything was better than being alone. Now, we’ve found ourselves in a proverbial crisis. As I’ve state many times before, let your expectations known upfront to avoid added stress.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
1:35 pm

LOL Mdot I kinda figured it was of a sexual nature.

He can’t force her to something she does not want to. Obviously he nor any other guy at this time is worth her going back on what she now believes and wants. That’s her right.

If it’s that important to him why don’t he just marry her, then he could get it. And again obviously he doesn’t care enough about her or it to marry her.

Not in a manipulative way, but if that’s her belief and he cares enough, he should be willing to make it right.

Sex should not be used as a tool of manipulation, but its rightful place is within the marriage.

Tell your friend to stop asking her to go to lengths he himself is not willing to go.

It’s been two years, why he is still trying to “break” her?

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
1:35 pm

@Downtown Heffa

Excellent point! I forgot that part….The movies and books, (Tyler Perry, Zane, etc) has dictated to people a cookie-cutter version of what happiness should be and if people dont have it they get mad!

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
1:36 pm

Unrealistic expectations ???

like?

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
1:39 pm

@Raqi

Good points but also if he is not happy he can easily opt out also tactfully. He doesnt have to pressure her or anything but also he doesnt have to get settle and get married just to close the deal. Marriage shouldnt be taken that lightly I dont think.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 6th, 2009
1:42 pm

They have NEVER closed the deal but have done everything else. This has been torturing him for 2 years! This is a grown woman. I would rather have nothing if I were him than to be TEASED.

Wow :shock: is that loyalty or just plain crazy?

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
1:43 pm

Mdot Seriously, you, him or whomever needs to move on.

One of two things will likely happen if she gives in. She will hate and resent him afterwards which will probably lead to the demise of the relationship. Or once he gets it he will no longer be interested because it seems to have become a challenge for him.

Why date someone for two years void of physical intimacy and not marry them? It’s futile to date that long under those circumstances and it leads no higher grounds.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
1:43 pm

My friend has a great relationship except in 1 area

if she wont go dwn on him,sooner or later he will find smebody who will and that may end it for them….

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
1:49 pm

You are right Mdot it shouldn’t. But if he wants her that bad then it’s a small price to pay. The only people that I know that are holding on to the goods that are in relationships are the ones that want to wait until they are married to have relations with their spouse.

Forget what they did in the past. If it’s their desire to want more from a relationship and not just spread the love, they have that right.

No one can be or should be judged for their beliefs whether they are new found or from jump.

Cut her loose and move on.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 6th, 2009
1:50 pm

Raqi – Im thinking b/c they “did everything else” he felt like he would eventually get it. I still dont get why he stayed 2 yrs but that is just MHO. Something is missing here….

Kym

November 6th, 2009
1:52 pm

Okay what is really going on office shoot in Orlando..17 wounded 2 dead and the shooter is on the loose. Did we not just do this yesterday? What the hell? What the hell?

Kym

November 6th, 2009
1:52 pm

sorry office shooting

SexyCool - Cruising.

November 6th, 2009
1:53 pm

Um, yeah. At this point, dude should know whether or not he wants to marry her. It appears that he doesn’t. They should let each other get on with their lives.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
1:54 pm

Yeah Mo, two years is a long to stay with someone under those conditions and it’s not to marry.

Why he is still there? What are his motives?

I personally would think after all that time it is to break her. He possibly has an agenda.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
1:54 pm

Mdot??

he shld make himself happy be4 he waits and marries this woman.Otherwise hes gonna be dissappointed.This is the exact reason why pple divorce,wrong and high expectations that neva pan out.
If he wants that stuff now and isnt getting it,hes undermining himself and when he gets married,that woman is gonna go that route when she needs smething outta him.
Thats a pantsy move!

SexyCool - Cruising.

November 6th, 2009
1:56 pm

And yeah, I, too, would be suspicious of his motives at this point. Especially since er’thang else is so great.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
1:59 pm

Man that dude like that chick and she treats him nice otherwise. He’ll end up marrying her and soon.. A total sucker move because she should feel he’s an equally good catch. Be honest with her and let her know..

Her – Baby Im celibate
Him – Im not and i like to have sex.

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
2:01 pm

Maybe he’s not ready to get married, and in that case he can either deal with it or keep it moving… i guess

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:03 pm

@Raqi

LOL Raqi, slow it down pimpin! It’s not me. We were just discussing solutions. I actually told him if he was certain this was the one to stay, but also know that you have rights and dont have to if you dont want to.

I think besides the marriage angle, 4 things are REALLY going on:

1. This is an attention thing (from him and maybe even her friends? not sure)
2. She is trying to maybe establish some dominance and to see what kind of guy she has, like a test.

3. She is making herself a quest. (like raqi said, once the deal is closed then what?)

4. She may be hiding something….

@Melo

I agree with you to. He’s is going to turn to a little puppy. You want a snack, jump high and get it!

It will be manipulated into a barganing chip. Which is just an bartering and an exchange not a marriage.

GA Girl

November 6th, 2009
2:07 pm

@Dream_n…. Unrealist expectations???

*He/She will change….
* They may not be where I want them to be, but I’ll help them get there……..
* No one understands him like I do……
*He would have been more established had it not been for his “baby mama”….

There’s so many more. I’m sure you can fill in the blank!

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:07 pm

Infamous who’s to say she does not feel he is a good catch. Heck she probably does since she has been with him for 2 years and he hasn’t married her yet.

Seeing him as a good catch does not have to be acted out in physical intimacy. She has made a decision to not engage and she has that right. She is not wrong for keeping her goods. He is a fool for staying if it’s not working for him.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
2:07 pm

She is trying to maybe establish some dominance and to see what kind of guy she has, like a test.

Mdot??
even if ur above statement is not true,the perception of it is there.That wld be a problem to me,anyway.

Well,maybe,coz, for me, i like my woman to make our agreed move, when she sees my wink!
:lol:
This man friend of urs will be paying homage to that woman,trust me.

SexyCool - Cruising.

November 6th, 2009
2:10 pm

If she’s hiding something that hasn’t come out in two years, she’s good – damned good.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:13 pm

@THE INFAMOUS DK

LOL that is funny

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:13 pm

Mdot, to your entire 2:03 comment…

For 2 freakin’ years????

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
2:13 pm

Raqi – Two years aint long enough to be together before I try and marry you.. Please.. Me.. Man Gone you better hold on tight and ride this thang out until Im ready.. If not get somewhere where they love you.. I will not, i repeat will not be coerced, manipulated, threatened or pressured into marriage.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:14 pm

If she’s hiding something that hasn’t come out in two years, she’s good – damned good.

Exactly.

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
2:14 pm

They have NEVER closed the deal but have done everything else.

Is that really being celibate??

Melo

November 6th, 2009
2:16 pm

she’s good – damned good.

SCool,shes as good as the guy is horrible.

U know some guys cant aim good on a gaping, open urinal! :lol:

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
2:16 pm

DK

I’m with you on that 2:13

SexyCool - Cruising.

November 6th, 2009
2:16 pm

Peace up. ATown down. I’m out dis piece.

Take it light.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
2:16 pm

I keep telling ya’ll in Atlanta its way easier to find a good woman than it is to find a good man.. Women always talking about knowing their worth but dudes better know their worth.. I know mine..

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:17 pm

Infamous it’s not manipulation. Did not you read where he is the one complaining about not getting it, yet he choose to stay with her?

Why would a man stay with a woman that long and he is not getting his needs met? What could he possibly be getting that is good enough to hold him, yet not good enough for him to seal the deal on paper?

I am not man so please help me understand…

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
2:22 pm

RAqi – It is manipulation. She know exactly what she’s doing

Its about the challenge and when they do get it on she better have that ddynomite or they will be in divorce court faster than you can say “Bust it open”

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
2:25 pm

Raqi – Stupidity keeps a dude with a woman thats not getting his needs met.. He sacrificing his happiness for hers.. Already.. So this trend will continue thru the marriage because she will figure out something else she can manipulate him with.

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
2:28 pm

@ Tazzee – When you give your heart to someone, they do have the ability to make you happy or cause you pain. – if you’re totally in you can’t help to respond in a manner that correlates with that action….

I am riding the bus with you on that ^^^ note…Consiously i have to decided how i’ll react to moods though.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
2:29 pm

What could he possibly be getting that is good enough to hold him

Intimidation….some men are intimidated by the women they are with,when begiining to date and subsequent.
If a man dont get his intentions known to the woman when he approaches,he may become a suckker like that..tagging along.
He becomes emasculated in expressing and acting on his desires with her.
I awlays made my targets know within the first 45 to 1 hour,where we were going with this.Thats aggressive, but thats me.
For the average guy,make it known, at least within the first 48 hrs.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:31 pm

Mdot tell your potnah he needs to move on.

It’s easy for folks to ask why should he give in to her just to get her goods, if marriage is what she wants. But I ask why should she give in to him and go over what she wants.

Her wants are just as important to her and his to him.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:35 pm

Infamous you are right he is stupid. But I still say it is not manipulation if you know up front that a woman does not want to engage in intercourse and don’t do it. She is holding to what she wants.

He is stupid for thinking he can stay there and break her.

Tazzee - I'm Happy!!!

November 6th, 2009
2:35 pm

Mdot – your friend needs to move on. This is the second time we’ve discussed him on here and if he hasn’t come to grips with the fact that he’s not getting ‘it’ until marriage – then he needs to move on.

Right now it appears to be a power struggle between the two of them and if one of them caves in, the other is going to be resentful.

Tell him to just move on and get with a chick that will give him some. As DK said, there’s a plethora of good women out there and if what you stated in your 2:03 is true, why would he want to be with her anyway?

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
2:36 pm

I think I’m with the guys on this one…

I see it as a tool of manipulation if you’re doing everything else, but not SEX… That is not the actions of a celibate woman.

she’s using it as a tool.. now for what I don’t know… but it’s not hard to spot a game.

BSandwich

November 6th, 2009
2:36 pm

I think it’s my nature, but if she’s happy, then I’m happy. If she’s unhappy, then I’m going to try my best to rectify that

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:39 pm

I went to get some prinouts and wow….it got crazy in here lol

@THE INFAMOUS DK

Very True. She will find something next to use as a weapon.

@Dream_n

I am with you and this is not really the real deal. Since she is only giving 80% or whatever percentage is placed on closing the deal, can he drop his efforts to around 75%?

@Raqi

I agree they aren’t on the same page. I cant imagine how he feels right now…

The worst part is that this girl is VERY average and couldnt stop traffic on 400 in Atlanta on a friday afternoon…

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
2:41 pm

@ Tazzee Mae – You’re reading like a momma. :) kiddin’ kiddin. Mail call.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:43 pm

This reminds of a time when my sister was all heartbroken over this guy to the point of being miserable. My mom asked her what is so magnificent about that guy that she had to have him. With all the other guys out there to have, what was it about him that she was making herself miserable.

It wasn’t the sex because they had not even had sex. My mom told her to find somebody else to like, she would soon get over him. And she did.

That’s what that dude is doing. With all the women in America, or Atlanta if that is where he lives, there are hundreds of thousands that are okay with having physical intimacy in a relationship outside of marriage. And about 1/2 that many are willing to have it outside of a relationship. And too many to count that will have it outside of knowing your last name.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
2:43 pm

The worst part is that this girl is VERY average and couldnt stop traffic on 400 in Atlanta

:lol: :lol: :lol: is he ur friend u say….??

what advice are u giving him?

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:45 pm

@Tazzee – I’m Happy!!!

The reason I brought it up again because he told me he was going to tell her they needed a break and she did EXACTLY what I knew she would:

Tell him what he wanted to hear so he would shut up!!! WOMEN DO THIS!

The problem is they are back at square one.

I think he is caught up on that power couple image. He is placing his happiness on the tangibles (her career, what she brings to the table etc.)

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:45 pm

she’s using it as a tool

No one can use a tool on you without you allowing it to be used. If she is using him, he’s an idiot. And has been for about a year and a half.

Tazzee - I'm Happy!!!

November 6th, 2009
2:46 pm

Cemeeli – I’m with you on that moody stuff.

arSON

November 6th, 2009
2:49 pm

**horns blowing**
STEP IN LINE TO RECEIVE YOUR TRIBAL NAME!!

RAQI you will now be known as SHE WHO IS LONG WINDED(apache) or SHE WHO SLEEPS WITHIN THE TRIBE(cree )

** moving to the next tepee**
SEXYCOOL your new tribal name is POKEHERhontas or eagle with low rupte for short. (Algonquian)

** moving to the next tepee**
TAZZEE from this day forward you will now answer to SHE WHO IS UNCHASTE.

now lets all gather for the fire dance…

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:50 pm

Tell him what he wanted to hear so he would shut up

Instead of show him what he wanted to see?????? LOL Your friend needs help.

I think he is caught up on that power couple image. He is placing his happiness on the tangibles (her career, what she brings to the table etc.)

So your friend is in fact using her? Now the plot thickens.

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
2:50 pm

Well apparantly he’s allowing her to use the “tool”… Whatever it is.. If he’s unhappy then it’s time to make break… ot juss continue getting watever sexual satisfaction he is receiving until

A) he marries her
B) she gives in

Tazzee - I'm Happy!!!

November 6th, 2009
2:50 pm

Mdot – Women do that?!?!? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Men do it all the time – he’s just getting it back. Men propose to women with no intention on getting married so a woman will shut up.

This scenario is hilarious to me because he’s getting what a lot of woman have gotten many times… She gives in for the promise of marriage and the ring never comes. Or the ring comes and they’re engaged for 7 years. Or they acquiesce by moving in together.

Then to see that he’s hung on the power couple image, her career, what she brings to the table…sounds like he’s the female in this relationship to me.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Melo

November 6th, 2009
2:51 pm

Tell him what he wanted to hear so he would shut up!!!

what did she say??

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
2:51 pm

@ Tazzee – I knew you’d catch my drift.

Mood: Sometimes life throws you lemons…it’s up to you to make lemonade.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
2:52 pm

sounds like he’s the female in this relationship to me.

yep!

Beautiful

November 6th, 2009
2:52 pm

**know that society wants guys to put and keep women on a pedestal, but what if a guy genuinely came out and said he was not happy with you and told you the area. My friend has a great relationship except in 1 area and she is not budging…Do you compromise yourself for this relationship to survive?**

yup!

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:52 pm

@Raqi

Dang fam! You just run with everything lol…The man can have some standards right Raqi? Jeez…. :)

Some people want that mate’s to compliment them that’s all. He is going to be finishing business school so he can just link up with some hood rat from Stockbridge…lol

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:55 pm

So know we know the rest of the story…

The dude does not care for the woman, nor does he care to marry her. He is just in it for what she has to offer, however to his dismay the cashmere is not part of the package.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:55 pm

@Melo

You know the usual….she would straighten up and fly right, get her act in tact…lol

Tazzee - I'm Happy!!!

November 6th, 2009
2:56 pm

The hood rat from Stockbridge might give him some though, LOL

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
2:56 pm

Tazzee really need to continue her voyages cause she comes back and preach-it…

Girl, what about this:

This scenario is hilarious to me because he’s getting what a lot of woman have gotten many times… She gives in for the promise of marriage and the ring never comes. Or the ring comes and they’re engaged for 7 years. Or they acquiesce by moving in together.Then to see that he’s hung on the power couple image, her career, what she brings to the table…sounds like he’s the female in this relationship to me.

…well Harpo…Sophia’s home!

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:56 pm

she would straighten up and fly right

And he actually waited longer than one day for that to happen? :lol:

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:57 pm

The hood rat from Stockbridge might give him some though

LMBO

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:58 pm

@Raqi

Cashmere…he should just go get him a wool sweater and go about his business without the pricetag…lol

Tazzee - I'm Happy!!!

November 6th, 2009
2:58 pm

M dot – I’m sorry, I’m just having fun with your friend’s issue on a stressful day. Seriously, he needs to consider what’s important to him and make a decision. I forgot – how old is this couple?

arSON

November 6th, 2009
3:01 pm

**horns blowing**
STEP IN LINE TO RECEIVE YOUR TRIBAL NAME!!

RAQI you will now be known as SHE WHO IS LONG WINDED(apache) or SHE WHO SLEEPS WITHIN THE TRIBE (cree )

** moving to the next tepee**
SEXYCOOL your new tribal name is POKEHERhontas or eagle with low rupte for short. (Algonquian)

** moving to the next tepee**
TAZZEE from this day forward you will now answer to SHE WHO IS UNCHASTE.(Cherokee)

now lets all gather for the fire dance…

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
3:03 pm

how old is this couple

Tazzee, that’s the question I want to know the answer to.

Grown folks playing sex games??? I sure hope not.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
3:07 pm

@Tazzee – I’m Happy!!!

Its all good. He is 32 and she is 29 I think. Also he was married before. He was one of those guys who got married to early and didnt get to finish his player stage. I think he got married like mid 20’s.

LURKER

November 6th, 2009
3:08 pm

Happy moments!

When I come over and cut the grass, edge and clean up around the house! Time for you to ZIPPPPPP!

When I change your flat tire on I-285! Time for yout ZIPPPPPPP!

When I take you on vacation! Time for you to ZIPPPPP in the morning, noon and Evening!

M.Dot… Dude needs to step out tonight and get his groove on, Go to the club tonight and get some of this hot ATL Booty! Problem Solve ZIPPPPPP!!

Willie Dynamite

November 6th, 2009
3:13 pm

Afternoon All,

mdot – what advice did you give you buddy?

Melo

November 6th, 2009
3:14 pm

got married to early and didnt get to finish his player stage

u in god place to help him out…

Tell him, this one wil go the same distance if he persists with her.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
3:14 pm

u in good place to help him out

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
3:15 pm

@Willie Dynamite

I told him dont worry about what her tangibles were. If you really are cool with the holdout and want to stay with her, stay, but if you know deep down inside you are NOT, leave. That’s alot better than cheating on her and her labeling you a jerk forever. Dont feel bad walking away. He needs to value himself, his happiness, and most importantly his MANHOOD.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
3:18 pm

M dot??

u like this homie?? u grew up tgether…

If it were me,he wldnt be my friend,let alone give him advice on this.

:lol: :lol:

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
3:18 pm

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
3:19 pm

and that’s about all you can say… and leave it at that.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
3:20 pm

@Melo

We real cool. I just think he succumbed to the pressure from society and a woman to get married rather than hang fun take his time and get married when HE was ready.

Willie Dynamite

November 6th, 2009
3:26 pm

good advice, other than that stay out of it. I’d go so far as to let him know not to discuss this with you anymore. That is unless you like hearing a grown azz man whine about something that is totally in his control. furthermore, he’s too old and been there done that to bring up the societal pressure angle.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
3:30 pm

pressure from society and a woman to get married
Mdot??
I dont know if i can draw a pic,dream or imagine a beautiful enough pic of a woman i wld be pressured enough to marry without compromising her first.

Even Dianne Sawyer still has to be prequalified same way! I jus wont hit her at the same frequency tho.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
3:30 pm

That chick smells desperation on dude.. She knows he will marry her if she provides the right pressure..

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
3:33 pm

Oh they ram rodding Chris breezy.. That chick said that it was a dangerous obsession on both parts.. Equally.. Diane just let her skate on to the next question instead of asking her what equally meant and did she ever hit Breezy..

Leggs

November 6th, 2009
3:35 pm

Just got back from a funeral, what’s the topic? I’m drained and too much to read.

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
3:35 pm

Mo – I need a Pepsi and some fiyah popcone…what cha got chica.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
3:35 pm

@Willie Dynamite

I agree…Good tips.

@Melo

You know what I mean…like that person that you went to school with that HAD to get married ASAP. That guy that signed up with the first team that gave him a tryout….

@THE INFAMOUS DK

You are probably right…she is a lawyer and maybe got caught up in that Cosby Show image….

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
3:37 pm

@ Ms. Leggs – They (my dizzy co-workers) have been messin wit me…can i get you to hire the slap-a-h tribe? :(

…sniff…I had to take a silly 30min break, my boss left early…nobody wanted to work after 11, and my best team player is on vacation.

Chardonnay

November 6th, 2009
3:40 pm

This topic is pretty simple and straightforward, and in light of tonight’s interviews with Chris Brown on MTV and Rihanna on ABC, I will say this: When you are unhappy in a relationship, you leave—point, blank, period. No one deserves to be mistreated and/or abused because the other person is unhappy with themselves. It is not my fault that someone else’s life sucks!! One thing that I have learned is to never settle for less than I deserve, and had I learned that sooner, I would not have had so many inappropriate and abusive relationships where I was being abused on a regular basis. My advice to young women is to get yourself together, get your education, build a career for yourself, and as my paternal grandmother taught me, leave these men alone! If it is meant for any of us to have a meaningful relationship, it will happen on its own when the time is right. Life is too short to be unhappy, especially in a relationship when half the time the person is not good enough anyway.

LURKER

November 6th, 2009
3:42 pm

@Arson…. The reason Raqi goes on and on when she is blogging is because when she gets long winded with Mason he goes ZIPPPPPPPPPPP!

SEXYCOOL has SUPER C and she got to put that in play! It’s a blessing!

Lioness ….W8 you my man? W8 yes I am ZIPPPPPPP!

Melo

November 6th, 2009
3:42 pm

M dot??

proly some other lawyer is hitting her when she does those long,complicated cases and she has to stay late at the office or fly outa town!
That “im reformed” talk will work on a lame dude.

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
3:43 pm

This day is dragging….

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
3:44 pm

Infamous I have my DVR set to tape that interview tonight on 20/20.

Willie Dynamite

November 6th, 2009
3:44 pm

DK – True dat 3:30

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
3:45 pm

when did the Chris B. and Rihanna interviews air?

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
3:46 pm

Chardonnay – You come across as a angry lesbian that just jumped the fence recently and went to the otherside..

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
3:48 pm

Chardonnay – and abusive..

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
3:50 pm

@Melo

That may be true. That’s why if he is not happy, he should have been left.

LURKER

November 6th, 2009
3:52 pm

Chardonnay… Where you on the RAY-J love show? If so you are fine! :wink: I will handle you with tender luving care!

THREE WORDS to live by…… ZIPPPP,!ZIPPP,ZIPPP!

Now that’s power, power for the people! :smile:

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
3:52 pm

Melo – thats the crazy part.. She prolly got some dude on speed dial that she can call to dust her off..

I met a chcik that was celibate but she would do oral.. come on ma’am. You play wayyy tooo much..

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
3:54 pm

@THE INFAMOUS DK

LOL That’s what this chick does. I would rather have nothing than her sending me out all blue in the face…

Willie Dynamite

November 6th, 2009
3:54 pm

That lewinsky or Becky is not considered Sex nowadays. Ha ha ha. Just another way to stay reformed and born again.

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
3:54 pm

hahaha…an angry lesbo…good Lord.

…enjoy your weekend folks.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
3:55 pm

Mdot let me ask you a question.

What cave did this guy crawl out of and how long has he been mopping floors at McDonald’s?

I mean, any half way decent looking guy that is gainfully employed will not have any problem getting a woman these days. I am not trying to put your friend down in my sarcasm, but there are just too many women out there looking for him to be chasing his tail.

Now on to other news…Has only seen Couple’s Resort or Retreat (which ever it is)? I am going to see that tonight and was wondering if it’s going to be worth the cost of a babysitter. :lol:

Leggs

November 6th, 2009
3:56 pm

When dating, there will be moments of happiness as well as moments of unhappiness. The difficult part is finding out which one when you seem to be dating yourself. (lol).

@Cee ~ slap-a-h tribe consists of some dangerous women. Be there in 6.5 mins!

Melo

November 6th, 2009
4:04 pm

Mdot??

does she carry a bible with her all the time,or talk Jesus eve now and then??

she prays publicly be4 she has a meal??

That may not even matter tho.
I know women here at wrk, who will solemnly bow theri heads down on the table when about to eat lunch,rise up and lace u with a funky &*()%$$! exepletive in the same breadth if u cross them.
Thst why my prayers are always silent count.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 6th, 2009
4:04 pm

Cemeeli – here is a pepsi, slightly frozen and some cheddar popcorn w a lil caramel popcorn mixed in! Enjoy!

Melo

November 6th, 2009
4:05 pm

Thats why my prayers are always silent count

Wise Diva

November 6th, 2009
4:05 pm

Raqi, I want you to get a date night but that movie choice, um no. Not worth the $, not even on a matinee

Melo

November 6th, 2009
4:10 pm

I met a chcik that was celibate but she would do oral.. come on ma’am

DK??

was she ok with u finguring her as u enjoyed her talents??

Leggs

November 6th, 2009
4:12 pm

How come oral is not considered sex. I don’t get it!

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
4:14 pm

@Raqi

I think he is a well qualified guy and why he wants her I am not sure. You like what you like.

Now me being a young bachelor in Atlanta, here is my breakdown on the women/dating scene:

Pros:

1. Alot of well qualified people.
2. A melting pot.

Cons:
1. First, the ratio is not as high as people say. Maybe 3-1 not 20-1.
2. Atlanta women (not all but some) have HUGE ego’s and most guys dont want to wait out for her to come around and cooperate.
3. Also we have alot of AVERAGE looking women here who pass of fat for being thick.
4. Alot of immature women who still like to play games (the Im busy game, phone games, chase games)

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
4:17 pm

@Melo

I dont even know…lol

Leggs

November 6th, 2009
4:17 pm

@Raqi, you could honestly look at the promos and see it’s not worth a babysitter.

For Real

November 6th, 2009
4:18 pm

“How come oral is not considered sex. I don’t get it!” – Cause you can’t get prego!

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
4:18 pm

Melo – I would just enjoy the fellatio then proceed to plaster her face.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
4:18 pm

Mdot??

If that woman does oral,then its a qstion of dude’s handling.

Its wack!
How many of u guys here ask ur wet women,”so can i come inside now??”

:lol:

For Real

November 6th, 2009
4:18 pm

Raqi: Save your money and go see Black Dynomite.

For Real

November 6th, 2009
4:21 pm

Leggs: Oh and doing it in the butt ain’t sex either.

Leggs

November 6th, 2009
4:22 pm

Have a great weekend everyone!

Leggs

November 6th, 2009
4:28 pm

Before I go, it’s all a form of sex, oral, anal, behind the kneecap, dyck in ear, whatever freaky plane you’re on….it’s a form of sex!

Tazzee - I'm Happy!!!

November 6th, 2009
4:34 pm

Raqi – I recommend Law Abiding Citizen

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
4:36 pm

Thanks yall. I guess that one is out.

What else is there to see? I don’t do horror flicks.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
4:37 pm

Sorry.

Black Dynamite and Law Abiding Citizen.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
4:38 pm

Cause you can’t get prego!

FOR REAL???

u not serious?? u mean a dude hitting it but misfiring on getting her prego aint doing no sexx??

they wld be offended.

Leggs

November 6th, 2009
4:43 pm

Finger snaps in Z formation.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 6th, 2009
4:47 pm

Have a good weekend everyone!

Leggs

November 6th, 2009
4:51 pm

“Quit settling and start making your dreams a reality!- Quit being afraid and START LIVING YOUR LIFE! CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT! If you want something different than what you have had in the past….you must quit doing what you have done before and DO something different! JUST QUIT IT …… and START DOING something to create the experience you want!

Be watchful!