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I’m Not Happy

I know a lot of us would like to be in relationships right now but sometimes we tend to forget that they take a lot of work and effort.  When the tough times hit, like they inevitably will, we aren’t always prepared for it.  This is when you find out what your relationship is really made of, good or bad.

When a woman is unhappy, she probably has a change in her behavior towards her partner. Because men have innate differences from women they feel the need to want to fix it.  They actually care a lot about why their woman is unhappy and want to do what they can to improve it.  It’s almost as if they take it personally when their woman isn’t satisfied and fulfilled.

Ladies, have you ever dated a really moody guy? I am not referring to the random cranky mood but a guy who has a lot of bad moods, how did you handle it?

Guys, do you think that your woman’s unhappiness is a reflection of your relationship with her? Does it bother you when she is unhappy?

Do you think we are responsible solely for our own happiness in a relationship?

209 comments Add your comment

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
2:01 pm

Maybe he’s not ready to get married, and in that case he can either deal with it or keep it moving… i guess

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:03 pm

@Raqi

LOL Raqi, slow it down pimpin! It’s not me. We were just discussing solutions. I actually told him if he was certain this was the one to stay, but also know that you have rights and dont have to if you dont want to.

I think besides the marriage angle, 4 things are REALLY going on:

1. This is an attention thing (from him and maybe even her friends? not sure)
2. She is trying to maybe establish some dominance and to see what kind of guy she has, like a test.

3. She is making herself a quest. (like raqi said, once the deal is closed then what?)

4. She may be hiding something….

@Melo

I agree with you to. He’s is going to turn to a little puppy. You want a snack, jump high and get it!

It will be manipulated into a barganing chip. Which is just an bartering and an exchange not a marriage.

GA Girl

November 6th, 2009
2:07 pm

@Dream_n…. Unrealist expectations???

*He/She will change….
* They may not be where I want them to be, but I’ll help them get there……..
* No one understands him like I do……
*He would have been more established had it not been for his “baby mama”….

There’s so many more. I’m sure you can fill in the blank!

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:07 pm

Infamous who’s to say she does not feel he is a good catch. Heck she probably does since she has been with him for 2 years and he hasn’t married her yet.

Seeing him as a good catch does not have to be acted out in physical intimacy. She has made a decision to not engage and she has that right. She is not wrong for keeping her goods. He is a fool for staying if it’s not working for him.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
2:07 pm

She is trying to maybe establish some dominance and to see what kind of guy she has, like a test.

Mdot??
even if ur above statement is not true,the perception of it is there.That wld be a problem to me,anyway.

Well,maybe,coz, for me, i like my woman to make our agreed move, when she sees my wink!
:lol:
This man friend of urs will be paying homage to that woman,trust me.

SexyCool - Cruising.

November 6th, 2009
2:10 pm

If she’s hiding something that hasn’t come out in two years, she’s good – damned good.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:13 pm

@THE INFAMOUS DK

LOL that is funny

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:13 pm

Mdot, to your entire 2:03 comment…

For 2 freakin’ years????

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
2:13 pm

Raqi – Two years aint long enough to be together before I try and marry you.. Please.. Me.. Man Gone you better hold on tight and ride this thang out until Im ready.. If not get somewhere where they love you.. I will not, i repeat will not be coerced, manipulated, threatened or pressured into marriage.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:14 pm

If she’s hiding something that hasn’t come out in two years, she’s good – damned good.

Exactly.

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
2:14 pm

They have NEVER closed the deal but have done everything else.

Is that really being celibate??

Melo

November 6th, 2009
2:16 pm

she’s good – damned good.

SCool,shes as good as the guy is horrible.

U know some guys cant aim good on a gaping, open urinal! :lol:

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
2:16 pm

DK

I’m with you on that 2:13

SexyCool - Cruising.

November 6th, 2009
2:16 pm

Peace up. ATown down. I’m out dis piece.

Take it light.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
2:16 pm

I keep telling ya’ll in Atlanta its way easier to find a good woman than it is to find a good man.. Women always talking about knowing their worth but dudes better know their worth.. I know mine..

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:17 pm

Infamous it’s not manipulation. Did not you read where he is the one complaining about not getting it, yet he choose to stay with her?

Why would a man stay with a woman that long and he is not getting his needs met? What could he possibly be getting that is good enough to hold him, yet not good enough for him to seal the deal on paper?

I am not man so please help me understand…

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
2:22 pm

RAqi – It is manipulation. She know exactly what she’s doing

Its about the challenge and when they do get it on she better have that ddynomite or they will be in divorce court faster than you can say “Bust it open”

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 6th, 2009
2:25 pm

Raqi – Stupidity keeps a dude with a woman thats not getting his needs met.. He sacrificing his happiness for hers.. Already.. So this trend will continue thru the marriage because she will figure out something else she can manipulate him with.

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
2:28 pm

@ Tazzee – When you give your heart to someone, they do have the ability to make you happy or cause you pain. – if you’re totally in you can’t help to respond in a manner that correlates with that action….

I am riding the bus with you on that ^^^ note…Consiously i have to decided how i’ll react to moods though.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
2:29 pm

What could he possibly be getting that is good enough to hold him

Intimidation….some men are intimidated by the women they are with,when begiining to date and subsequent.
If a man dont get his intentions known to the woman when he approaches,he may become a suckker like that..tagging along.
He becomes emasculated in expressing and acting on his desires with her.
I awlays made my targets know within the first 45 to 1 hour,where we were going with this.Thats aggressive, but thats me.
For the average guy,make it known, at least within the first 48 hrs.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:31 pm

Mdot tell your potnah he needs to move on.

It’s easy for folks to ask why should he give in to her just to get her goods, if marriage is what she wants. But I ask why should she give in to him and go over what she wants.

Her wants are just as important to her and his to him.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:35 pm

Infamous you are right he is stupid. But I still say it is not manipulation if you know up front that a woman does not want to engage in intercourse and don’t do it. She is holding to what she wants.

He is stupid for thinking he can stay there and break her.

Tazzee - I'm Happy!!!

November 6th, 2009
2:35 pm

Mdot – your friend needs to move on. This is the second time we’ve discussed him on here and if he hasn’t come to grips with the fact that he’s not getting ‘it’ until marriage – then he needs to move on.

Right now it appears to be a power struggle between the two of them and if one of them caves in, the other is going to be resentful.

Tell him to just move on and get with a chick that will give him some. As DK said, there’s a plethora of good women out there and if what you stated in your 2:03 is true, why would he want to be with her anyway?

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
2:36 pm

I think I’m with the guys on this one…

I see it as a tool of manipulation if you’re doing everything else, but not SEX… That is not the actions of a celibate woman.

she’s using it as a tool.. now for what I don’t know… but it’s not hard to spot a game.

BSandwich

November 6th, 2009
2:36 pm

I think it’s my nature, but if she’s happy, then I’m happy. If she’s unhappy, then I’m going to try my best to rectify that

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:39 pm

I went to get some prinouts and wow….it got crazy in here lol

@THE INFAMOUS DK

Very True. She will find something next to use as a weapon.

@Dream_n

I am with you and this is not really the real deal. Since she is only giving 80% or whatever percentage is placed on closing the deal, can he drop his efforts to around 75%?

@Raqi

I agree they aren’t on the same page. I cant imagine how he feels right now…

The worst part is that this girl is VERY average and couldnt stop traffic on 400 in Atlanta on a friday afternoon…

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
2:41 pm

@ Tazzee Mae – You’re reading like a momma. :) kiddin’ kiddin. Mail call.

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:43 pm

This reminds of a time when my sister was all heartbroken over this guy to the point of being miserable. My mom asked her what is so magnificent about that guy that she had to have him. With all the other guys out there to have, what was it about him that she was making herself miserable.

It wasn’t the sex because they had not even had sex. My mom told her to find somebody else to like, she would soon get over him. And she did.

That’s what that dude is doing. With all the women in America, or Atlanta if that is where he lives, there are hundreds of thousands that are okay with having physical intimacy in a relationship outside of marriage. And about 1/2 that many are willing to have it outside of a relationship. And too many to count that will have it outside of knowing your last name.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
2:43 pm

The worst part is that this girl is VERY average and couldnt stop traffic on 400 in Atlanta

:lol: :lol: :lol: is he ur friend u say….??

what advice are u giving him?

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:45 pm

@Tazzee – I’m Happy!!!

The reason I brought it up again because he told me he was going to tell her they needed a break and she did EXACTLY what I knew she would:

Tell him what he wanted to hear so he would shut up!!! WOMEN DO THIS!

The problem is they are back at square one.

I think he is caught up on that power couple image. He is placing his happiness on the tangibles (her career, what she brings to the table etc.)

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:45 pm

she’s using it as a tool

No one can use a tool on you without you allowing it to be used. If she is using him, he’s an idiot. And has been for about a year and a half.

Tazzee - I'm Happy!!!

November 6th, 2009
2:46 pm

Cemeeli – I’m with you on that moody stuff.

arSON

November 6th, 2009
2:49 pm

**horns blowing**
STEP IN LINE TO RECEIVE YOUR TRIBAL NAME!!

RAQI you will now be known as SHE WHO IS LONG WINDED(apache) or SHE WHO SLEEPS WITHIN THE TRIBE(cree )

** moving to the next tepee**
SEXYCOOL your new tribal name is POKEHERhontas or eagle with low rupte for short. (Algonquian)

** moving to the next tepee**
TAZZEE from this day forward you will now answer to SHE WHO IS UNCHASTE.

now lets all gather for the fire dance…

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:50 pm

Tell him what he wanted to hear so he would shut up

Instead of show him what he wanted to see?????? LOL Your friend needs help.

I think he is caught up on that power couple image. He is placing his happiness on the tangibles (her career, what she brings to the table etc.)

So your friend is in fact using her? Now the plot thickens.

Dream_n

November 6th, 2009
2:50 pm

Well apparantly he’s allowing her to use the “tool”… Whatever it is.. If he’s unhappy then it’s time to make break… ot juss continue getting watever sexual satisfaction he is receiving until

A) he marries her
B) she gives in

Tazzee - I'm Happy!!!

November 6th, 2009
2:50 pm

Mdot – Women do that?!?!? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Men do it all the time – he’s just getting it back. Men propose to women with no intention on getting married so a woman will shut up.

This scenario is hilarious to me because he’s getting what a lot of woman have gotten many times… She gives in for the promise of marriage and the ring never comes. Or the ring comes and they’re engaged for 7 years. Or they acquiesce by moving in together.

Then to see that he’s hung on the power couple image, her career, what she brings to the table…sounds like he’s the female in this relationship to me.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Melo

November 6th, 2009
2:51 pm

Tell him what he wanted to hear so he would shut up!!!

what did she say??

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
2:51 pm

@ Tazzee – I knew you’d catch my drift.

Mood: Sometimes life throws you lemons…it’s up to you to make lemonade.

Melo

November 6th, 2009
2:52 pm

sounds like he’s the female in this relationship to me.

yep!

Beautiful

November 6th, 2009
2:52 pm

**know that society wants guys to put and keep women on a pedestal, but what if a guy genuinely came out and said he was not happy with you and told you the area. My friend has a great relationship except in 1 area and she is not budging…Do you compromise yourself for this relationship to survive?**

yup!

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:52 pm

@Raqi

Dang fam! You just run with everything lol…The man can have some standards right Raqi? Jeez…. :)

Some people want that mate’s to compliment them that’s all. He is going to be finishing business school so he can just link up with some hood rat from Stockbridge…lol

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:55 pm

So know we know the rest of the story…

The dude does not care for the woman, nor does he care to marry her. He is just in it for what she has to offer, however to his dismay the cashmere is not part of the package.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:55 pm

@Melo

You know the usual….she would straighten up and fly right, get her act in tact…lol

Tazzee - I'm Happy!!!

November 6th, 2009
2:56 pm

The hood rat from Stockbridge might give him some though, LOL

Cemeeli

November 6th, 2009
2:56 pm

Tazzee really need to continue her voyages cause she comes back and preach-it…

Girl, what about this:

This scenario is hilarious to me because he’s getting what a lot of woman have gotten many times… She gives in for the promise of marriage and the ring never comes. Or the ring comes and they’re engaged for 7 years. Or they acquiesce by moving in together.Then to see that he’s hung on the power couple image, her career, what she brings to the table…sounds like he’s the female in this relationship to me.

…well Harpo…Sophia’s home!

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:56 pm

she would straighten up and fly right

And he actually waited longer than one day for that to happen? :lol:

Raqi

November 6th, 2009
2:57 pm

The hood rat from Stockbridge might give him some though

LMBO

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 6th, 2009
2:58 pm

@Raqi

Cashmere…he should just go get him a wool sweater and go about his business without the pricetag…lol

Tazzee - I'm Happy!!!

November 6th, 2009
2:58 pm

M dot – I’m sorry, I’m just having fun with your friend’s issue on a stressful day. Seriously, he needs to consider what’s important to him and make a decision. I forgot – how old is this couple?

arSON

November 6th, 2009
3:01 pm

**horns blowing**
STEP IN LINE TO RECEIVE YOUR TRIBAL NAME!!

RAQI you will now be known as SHE WHO IS LONG WINDED(apache) or SHE WHO SLEEPS WITHIN THE TRIBE (cree )

** moving to the next tepee**
SEXYCOOL your new tribal name is POKEHERhontas or eagle with low rupte for short. (Algonquian)

** moving to the next tepee**
TAZZEE from this day forward you will now answer to SHE WHO IS UNCHASTE.(Cherokee)

now lets all gather for the fire dance…