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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Bonnie & Clyde

I was having a friendly debate with my friend Mark about loyalty in dating relationships. I don’t think it exists.  As humans, we are self-preserving, self-serving people.  Loyalty extends about as far as it can until we decide that our own needs are more important than someone else’s.

He disagreed and said that loyalty is one of the things that people should be willing to prove in dating to lead to a relationship.  Mark and I  joked about how Bonnie & Clyde were known as the most loyal couple in history.

In some twisted way, the fact that she not only stuck by Clyde and covered for him, she  also joined in his crime sprees of robbery and murder. Are women expected to break the law to prove loyalty to their man, though!?

Do you think that loyalty is a realistic expectation in dating? Is it important to you when you are getting to know someone?

How do you know when someone is loyal to you? Is it something you can really prove or a feeling you give?

Do you think that couples have to “keep” their mate loyal?  What kind of person is more likely to be loyal? Is that the kind of character trait you can suss out in dating?

302 comments Add your comment

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
2:56 pm

Cee – you just gotta get real crazy acting and he’ll shut down cause he aint never seen momma get outta character..

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
2:58 pm

@ Dream_n – I’ve done the hit in the chest already gurl…He is 10…I did it one day and he told me i knock a lil wind…but when he shock it off i was like “ok…not going to jail”…lol

@ Kym – We can get lil retarded when the seed thinks he’s going to try some’n…but I brought him here…so you know.

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
2:59 pm

It is like some genetic code

Yep, that voice starts changing and they get some height and weight on ‘im.

One Saturday morning the doorbell rang and this voice outside our door said “I’ll get it”. I didn’t even recognize my own son’s voice. It was nasally and scratchy for so long then like over night it snapped into place and was like 3 octaves deeper.

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
3:01 pm

Cemeeli make him think you gonna drown him. I threw a glass of water in my oldest face once. He was getting ready to talk back. I just doused him with it. And then made him clean up the mess.

Kym

November 5th, 2009
3:06 pm

@Cee girl I thought the last two years I was going to loco myself. I was ready to hurt him and I do mean hurt. But a male co-worker who knows my youngin stepped in and said, here take that boy to family therapy. He’s angry he dont know why…none of us knew why at that age. Let him go and let him get it all out. I asked him how he knew and he said cause he told me. I was floored..but I realized there are somethings menfolks can relate to that we can’t and it worked. It was a helluva year..but it worked. He is only half-crazy now. Plus I learned that his behavior..such as it was(is)…its normal. **Men are just crazy** The End.

Melo

November 5th, 2009
3:06 pm

care to continue sharing your stories on when your father was about to or actually did show you who the “man of the house” was?

back then,it was neva cool to have ur hair all shaved off.But my dad always made sure we were clean shaven,for religious purposes and i didnt like it.I was gonna rebel early on but i come from a big family of uncles,aunts etc and most of my uncles always told me not to rebel on my dad.
But after my 17 birthday,one morning,my dad left me money in da house so that i cld get my hair cut, as he left for work.I didnt utter a wrd,i just gave him a nasty eye.
He came back home that evening and asked me why i hadnt had my hair cut and i told him,”I didnt want to”

He told me to pack up and leave that evening and i called my aunt went to leave with her for a while,till I had my own spot.

We have never been close, ever since!

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
3:06 pm

Cee – Just be sitting there while he sleep and let him wake to you just chilling right beside him. Then whisper to him.. “If you ever disrespect me again remember this moment”

Willie Dynamite

November 5th, 2009
3:07 pm

See what I’m reading is Dads/Men will get physical and straight Man-up. But if yall paying attention you see how the women get very creative and sometimes Medieval with it. Dad just may knock you out but Mom will have you limping for a few years cant breathe and isht. Thats why to this day I’m scared of Ma Dukes. LOL!!!

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
3:10 pm

I realized there are somethings menfolks can relate to that we can’t and it worked.

I know…on point!!!

lol @ Men are cwasi…hehehe

Leggs

November 5th, 2009
3:10 pm

I can actually feel the chills! That’s a good one and memorable!

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
3:11 pm

Kym – Thats why we be trying to tell ya’ll send em to their dad’s house at a certain age cause its inevitable that he’s gonna try Momma.. Momma is just not scary because it comes a point where you know Momma cant do nothing with ya.. I remember when my Mom ran up on me because I told her I wasnt going to church no more.. She ran up and tried to grab me and I just stood there while she went all in to try and budge me, she was getting no traction. My Dad got up and turned the corner and didnt say a word but I was getting dressed for church..

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
3:11 pm

Just be sitting there while he sleep and let him wake to you just chilling right beside him. Then whisper to him.. “If you ever disrespect me again remember this moment”

Oh I like that Infamous.

Uh, does that work on husband’s also? LOL J/K

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
3:12 pm

WillieD – Check dat 3:06….I’m getting school from ya boy Infamous…

…tombout us Moms!!

Kym

November 5th, 2009
3:12 pm

My next move is..He is going to wake up to dirty plates in his bed if he keeps forgetting to wash them and load the dishwasher. Nothing like a fork to the backside to make you remember.

Dream_n

November 5th, 2009
3:13 pm

Just be sitting there while he sleep and let him wake to you just chilling right beside him. Then whisper to him.. “If you ever disrespect me again remember this moment”

DK I am dying over here…. He!! yeah that would scare the sh!ts out of him…. especially at 10!!!

Please let us know the look on your son’s face when you put the above into action!!!

Leggs

November 5th, 2009
3:15 pm

@Raqi, yes indeed that one is memorable!

I also like the dirty dishes in the bed. However, may roll over wrong and we’ll find ourselves at the hospital w/lil leggs getting stitches.

Kym

November 5th, 2009
3:15 pm

Well DK my son’s father is among the dead. So all he has is me. I figured I show him my crazy now..I beat him now so the police will never have to beat him later. (I hope)

SexyCool - Ride or Die.

November 5th, 2009
3:16 pm

Need SALMON recipes. Thanks.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
3:16 pm

Dad just may knock you out but Mom will have you limping for a few years cant breathe and isht.

WillieD-

…i ain’t gon’ lie…i was s.c.a.r.e.d. when i bust him in the chest that day…thank God he’s played football..basketball, soccer…kinda helps…

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
3:16 pm

Kym I kicked over a bucket of mop water once while my oldest was mopping. I kept telling him to get off the phone until he finished. Which he knew by the time he finished his phone curfew would have passed. After the 3rd time telling him I kicked over the bucket and it took him like 5 time longer to get up all that water than what it would have taken him to just get off the phone and mop the floor.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
3:18 pm

Oh I got a million of them.. My Father was crazy when I was growing up.. For school he would just come up there and stare thru the rectangular glass in the door and do the come here finger.. He was the embarrass you tactician.. You didnt act bad in school cause he was subject to do anything.. If you didnt do your chores and he came home late at night while youre sleep he would wake you up.. I remember raking leaves and emptying trash at 3 in the morning.. I mean my last whoopin was at like 8/9, he did other things to just keep you straight.. Dang its funny now cause he’s a pussycat for my son..

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 5th, 2009
3:19 pm

Just be sitting there while he sleep and let him wake to you just chilling right beside him. Then whisper to him.. “If you ever disrespect me again remember this moment”

:shock: I don’t even have kids but that right there scared me.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
3:20 pm

@ Kym – I keep telling my son he is BLESSED to have the dishwasher on tap!!

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
3:20 pm

Kym – send him over there with me.. I wont even put my hands on him but he will understand not to ever disrespect Momma again..

Leggs

November 5th, 2009
3:21 pm

SCool ~ Crunchy Lemon-Dill Salmon with French’s® Fried Onions
Ingredients:

1 1/3 cups (2.8 oz.) FRENCH’S® Original French Fried Onions
1/2 tsp. dill weed
1/2 tsp. lemon pepper
6 portions salmon fillet (1 1/2 lbs.)
2 tbsp. FRENCH’S® Spicy Brown Mustard

Directions:
MIX French Fried Onions, dill and lemon pepper in plastic bag. Crush with hands or rolling pin.

BRUSH salmon with mustard. Coat top of salmon pieces with seasoned onion crumbs; press firmly to adhere.

BAKE salmon on a foil-lined baking sheet at 350°F for 20 min. or until opaque in center.

Deeeeelish!

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
3:21 pm

SexyCool, I normally cook mine on the grill on a wood board with some lemon juice and little butter and salt. Nothing fancy.

Dream_n

November 5th, 2009
3:22 pm

Sassy

You so sily…but yea i was a wee bit scared too lol

Kym

November 5th, 2009
3:23 pm

Raqi I am all about waking folks up out of sound sleeps. And taking stuff. Last year I packed the boys entire room I mean everything minus clothes and the bed. And took it out of the house. He was crying “Can I at least keep my DS?” Nope. Gave away the tv and a old video game system.

Willie Dynamite

November 5th, 2009
3:26 pm

With all these stories going back and forth bout boys 2 men. I’ll tell you what I am scared of. Raising a Girl. I’m shook right now just thinking about it.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
3:26 pm

@ Dream_n – My son longs for the relationship with my old man…he actually thinks that loser is cool…If i do the “sitting by the bed talkin crazi” thing, he’d probably call my old man and ask him to rescue him.

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
3:27 pm

LOL Infamous. Try going to the school where your mother was a teacher. Talk about embarrassing moments.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 5th, 2009
3:28 pm

I too remember my mother waking me at 4am to wash dishes, dust or whatever other chore I forgot! Whoa the memories…..

okay so has anyone heard the new Ryan Leslie CD? Or B McKnights?

Dan -fighting for (inner) peace

November 5th, 2009
3:28 pm

@WD

I have this theory….

The rougish dudes that I know (colder than I could’ve ever been to a woman) all have daughters.

Among 3 dudes, 8 kids, 6 daughters.

In about 12-14 years, I’mma laugh…

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 5th, 2009
3:29 pm

You so sily…but yea i was a wee bit scared too lol

Dream sumthing like that’ll have a kid tryna sleepwith one eye open chile….he’ll be thinking she crazy……

Tazzee - ready for the weekend

November 5th, 2009
3:29 pm

Afternoon Folks!

On Topic – Loyalty is VERY important to me. I agree that loyalty is earned over a period of time. Once a person is ‘in’ with me, they REALLY have to nut up to get out. When hurt, I may have to step away for a second but I forgive almost everyone.

My fiance’ and agreed early in our relationship that we don’t allow grown folks to live in our homes. The conversation came about when his Aunt’s grown kids were living in her house. After we left there I plainly said that I don’t allow any grown folks to live in my house. As we grew closer and started talking marriage – we discussed in relation to his kids.

My nephew has asthma, so I’m afraid to punch him in his chest. But I did hem him up against the wall by his neck one time. Only had to do that once – for the most part, he’s a good kid. Plus, he thinks I’m crazy.

SexyCool - Ride or Die.

November 5th, 2009
3:29 pm

Got my Dream’n style notepad over here and am scribbling furiously…

I’m lying. Selected text and hit print. LOL!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 5th, 2009
3:29 pm

Raqi – i went to school where my mother taught…….OMG! My brother had mom as a teacher….I did not envy him

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
3:29 pm

My dad would wake you up in the middle of the night.. I remember raking leaves and emptying trash at 3 in the morning.. Then if I was really trippin that belt at 1 in the morning aint nothing nice.. From dead sleep to a butt whooping.. Its like going 0 to lightspeed..

Dream_n

November 5th, 2009
3:29 pm

Me too Willie D Me too…..

but I have no choice but to take it day by day…

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
3:30 pm

Raising a Girl

Raqi faints again and assumes fetile position while weeping

Lord please don’t let her be anything like me. PLEASE!.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
3:31 pm

I’ll tell you what I am scared of. Raising a Girl. I’m shook right now just thinking about it.

WillieD – I DO NOT wanna switch places with you! I’d rather let that lil dude go through puberty 5 times before raising a me for example…

Leggs

November 5th, 2009
3:31 pm

@WillieD ~ you’re absolutely right, it’s frightening. Just watching the little girl grown into a beautiful teenager is frightening. I’m very thankful that at least the boys in her school and in the neighborhood know that I will give it my best try and jack them up if they mess with her. Whether I will or not, I want them to believe that I’m crazy enuf to do it. It starts with the belief!

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 5th, 2009
3:32 pm

The rougish dudes that I know (colder than I could’ve ever been to a woman) all have daughters.

Isn’t that weird how it happens like that. I know a few ruffians myself and they all have daughters albeit,some of them have multiple “baby mamas” but the majority of their children are girls.

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
3:32 pm

From dead sleep to a butt whooping

Infamous, Can you too recall that sudden flash of cold air when your dad threw back the covers? When you felt that you knew what was coming next. LOL

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
3:35 pm

Mo my oldest brother and sister both had moms for their teacher. I never had to live thru that agony. But I tell you I know she had these antennas that went off when I was acting up, ’cause when I would look up she would be standing right there. And her class was all the way on the other side of the building. LOL

Dan -fighting for (inner) peace

November 5th, 2009
3:36 pm

@Sassy

It ain’t weird, I keep telling them it’s instant karma…and I laugh some more.

Leggs

November 5th, 2009
3:36 pm

I see many of us was shaken awake between the hours of 3-4:48 am to either a butt whoooopppingg or to do some more cleaning cuz a minuscule piece of dried up food was found inside the prong of one the forks.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
3:37 pm

@ Mo – Girl my mom pull the covers back open the windows in my room and waited for the cold air to come in…when i got up to closed the window she was in my room…whaapp, in the back, and pushed me..then said to go clean the kitchen.

It only happened ONCE!

Dream_n

November 5th, 2009
3:37 pm

before raising a me for example…

Cee that is so funny…

Willie Dynamite

November 5th, 2009
3:38 pm

Dan – Karma is right, that why I’m scared as heyal.