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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Bonnie & Clyde

I was having a friendly debate with my friend Mark about loyalty in dating relationships. I don’t think it exists.  As humans, we are self-preserving, self-serving people.  Loyalty extends about as far as it can until we decide that our own needs are more important than someone else’s.

He disagreed and said that loyalty is one of the things that people should be willing to prove in dating to lead to a relationship.  Mark and I  joked about how Bonnie & Clyde were known as the most loyal couple in history.

In some twisted way, the fact that she not only stuck by Clyde and covered for him, she  also joined in his crime sprees of robbery and murder. Are women expected to break the law to prove loyalty to their man, though!?

Do you think that loyalty is a realistic expectation in dating? Is it important to you when you are getting to know someone?

How do you know when someone is loyal to you? Is it something you can really prove or a feeling you give?

Do you think that couples have to “keep” their mate loyal?  What kind of person is more likely to be loyal? Is that the kind of character trait you can suss out in dating?

302 comments Add your comment

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
1:17 pm

Yall know the song “Taking it to the Streets” by the Doobie Brothers?

Tuesday morning my son was standing in the bathroom singing “Taking it to the Sheets”. I walked in his room and heard him and said “WTH are you saying”. I said hell before I realized it. LOL I told him it’s ‘streets’ and not ‘sheets’. But then I asked him what did he think it was talking about when he thought it was sheets?

Like a deer caught in headlights he looked at me like “oh crap”. But you know his answer was “nothing, I just thought that’s what it said”.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
1:20 pm

@ Raqi – You got a “ladies man” on your hands….do you?

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
1:22 pm

Cemeeli you won some of those Price Is Right parting gifts. A box of Polident, some Swiffer refills and a bag of Blue Diamond Almonds.

Willie Dynamite

November 5th, 2009
1:31 pm

Afternoon All,

Too much to read so i’ll just spot check to see what the topic is.

Raqi – Doobie Brothers. How old is ya lil dude?

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
1:31 pm

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
1:32 pm

I don’t need it but i want some more candy…Lemon Heads are addictive.

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
1:41 pm

Willie, he is 14 but his dad is 54 and probably listens to such music. He was there this past weekend. Oh he may have heard it at home. The housekeeper usually have the radio playing while she is there. He may have heard it when he got home from school.

Either way he bet’ not be taking nothing to the sheets.

Hopeless Romantic Diva

November 5th, 2009
1:46 pm

Leggs….right on for your 11:41 am post! You go girl

Willie Dynamite

November 5th, 2009
1:51 pm

14 hunh, bout that time. I got a 13 yr old that is showing tendencies of being a beast on these chicks. Sweet and caring but conniving and manipulative at the same time. Trying to reign him in right now before its too late.

Melo

November 5th, 2009
2:02 pm

Willie Dynamite,when u succeed,tell me what ur recipe for success was coz i might need ur help too.
My 4 year old has a best friend at school,a girl.His two lady teachers told me that the 2 “friends” are not seperable.
When i asked my son about it,he had had the nerve to explain and elaborate,”daddy,she not my girlfriend,she my friend”
I wonder where that came from.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
2:04 pm

Hurt people, hurt people
This is always how
Oh, I’ve been
Entered by evil
So someone best
Love me right now

Because I could be
A would be killer
If suddenly
I should be
I would be killer

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
2:06 pm

@ WillieD/Raqi – I’m readin’ you two on this…and then my friend’s 13 year old son “tried” his daddy this pass Sunday she shared with me.

They (son n dad) were play-wrestling and the son got mad and serious cuase dad had the upper hand…My gf said she and her husband saw when he got upset and the face expression changed…so dad told him to gone on cause he told him that he’d get mad sooner or later.

and ya’ll i’m not married…what if when i do get married my knuckle head think he’ll try my old man…i don’t see him thinking that now at 10, but what if?

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
2:08 pm

maybe it’s an overthinking…

Willie Dynamite

November 5th, 2009
2:11 pm

Melo – cant help you buddy. My son started the same way. Pretty smile with dimples and he has a way with words. Always had friend-girls and women,teachers love him. I got my work cut out for me.

Similac- He will try him, no way around it. Your old man will have to find a way to handle it without pissing you and Real Dad off while teaching a lesson at the same time.

Willie Dynamite

November 5th, 2009
2:12 pm

your loyalty will be tested

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
2:13 pm

Cee – What Willie D said cause if he gets too outta hand The Dad is gonna wanna do something to him cause Lil Buddy gonna twist it up.. Shid I say send to live with his Dad at 12/13 anyway cause thats when hes gonna get to smelling himself.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
2:18 pm

…does all this come out around 13-14 years old?…I really wanna know the whole deal on this…

@ WillieD – Of course right now i’m the enforcer…but that dude will be bigger than me ina hot minute. I prolly wont be pissed if that goes down ‘cuase i’ve seen some dudes say some’n crazy ‘n get beat by their dad for it (in front of me)…body slam…jackin ‘em up by his neck…hymned up on a wall…under a car…right.

But it’ll be my son’s DAY one day, hunh?

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 5th, 2009
2:20 pm

Cemeeli – its inevitable he WILL try your dad and/or his dad. I already had this talk with my ex, Lil Mo will go live with ex-hubby around 12-ish. I would rather we as is parents get to him before some judge.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 5th, 2009
2:21 pm

meant ‘we as HIS parents’

And yes Cemeeli, I saw my older brother and cousins get jacked up!! LOL

Dan -fighting for (inner) peace

November 5th, 2009
2:22 pm

@Cee

It’s a man thing.

Most everyone has had (father in the life or not) a situation where some older male teaches you your limits.

Not always a physical confrontation, mind you, just sometimes an psychological “I can get you while you’re sleeping” kinda thing.

It’s healthy socialization in my opinion.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
2:23 pm

Cee – its like a dog when his nuts drop.. He feels like he’s not a pup anymore and he’s a man but all you have to do is thump his lil nuts and let him know he’s still a pup..

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
2:25 pm

Cemeeli that is one of things that have to be considered when marrying with kids.

I never really worried about the oldest, although Mase did have to catch him up in his collar once or twice, but he kinda grew up as Mase being one of his father figures. And he really took to him being his father, since he grew up with a real father in the house.

Now this little one, I don’t know how that is going to go. He has father that he spends time with and I don’t if he will try to put crap in his head about Mason. So far everything is fine. The play ball together. The play chess together. Mason is teaching him how to drive. And he takes him with him when he goes to the barber and to get the cars cleaned. I hope everything stays good.

However I do know that there will be normal man versus man friction eventually but hopefully to a minimum.

Mase already told my oldest that our home is no longer his home. He will help him in whatever way he needs to be helped, money, finding a job, finding a place to live, but he is his own man now. He has got to stand on his own two feet.

He can come visit but he cannot move back in, not unless he gets sick or something. And that I stand behind.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
2:26 pm

Dang!!!

I hope i’m not around…or hope i just catch the tail end of it..but i really hope i’m NOT there

…Yea WillieD – I will be tested…i been thinkin about that joint since my homegirl shared it with me…

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
2:26 pm

Cee – Yeah the whole “I brought you in this world and I can take you out” sentence is one of very important significance.. Yeah my Dad gave it to me with that grown man I’ll kill ya dead where ya stand look in his eyes…

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
2:28 pm

dangit man!!!…talking about boo’d up…

Now that part of it can be jacked up when you have a grow’n pre teen…

Willie Dynamite

November 5th, 2009
2:28 pm

Hymmed up on the wall 2 seconds from getting choked out worked for me. After that we are able to talk like folks for now. I’m sure in a few he’ll think he can try me again. Thats when the gloves come off.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
2:29 pm

Im just sitting here listening to Gnarls Barkley and I think its time for them to come out with another album.. I could use some of that good ish..

Lord Velonese (Hardy Har Har)

November 5th, 2009
2:34 pm

Three Words Daily – Gag, Vomit, Spew

Dan -fighting for (inner) peace

November 5th, 2009
2:34 pm

@DK

You don’t have the 2nd album or is that what you’re listening to?

Either way, last I heard, Lo was in the studio working on the Goodie album….so Gnarls needs to stay on hold for my taste.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
2:35 pm

@ Dan – Yea…my son thinks he’s 10 steps ahead of me now…really quick and witty…hadn’t gotten smartazz with me.

@ Raqi – I agree with you and Dan’s stance. You can not move back “home” once you’re on your own…and yea…i keep a clock on mine.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
2:35 pm

Willie D – My Dad said “So you think youre a man, huh?” He went downstairs got his snub nose 357 and sat it on the table and said “I brought you in this world and I’ll take you out” with that look in his eyes.. The one thing in our house was respect and my Mom just kept washing the dishes like she was gonna hit me from the left for being disrespectful and it coming to this. I seriously thought I was gonna get jumped on..

Leggs

November 5th, 2009
2:37 pm

Internet trouble.

Great prize selection, Raqi.

Funny comparison to pups lil nut and lil boy trying to “buck” one day.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
2:37 pm

Dan – Thats what Im listening to.. Just a Gnarls Barkley Party One and two.. “I love Mary, Marry me”

Lord Velonese (Hardy Har Har)

November 5th, 2009
2:38 pm

Three more words – Professor is gay

(Especially for that comment yesterday)

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
2:39 pm

Dan – Im listening to both of them at the moment.. “I love Mary, Blind Mary Marry me”

Willie Dynamite

November 5th, 2009
2:41 pm

DK – I can feel that, kinda like when it gets to that point ‘you know you don fugged up right’. I’m sure you didn’t have no mo problems with pops after that.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
2:42 pm

@ Infamous – 2:23…gotcha. So when his nuts fall or he get a lil pubic hair…bigman needed be on standby.

thx

Melo

November 5th, 2009
2:43 pm

Mase already told my oldest that our home is no longer his home

I hope he did not communicate as harshly as u make it sound.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
2:44 pm

Dan – Ceelo is too big for just goodie.. I like to hear him spit with goodie but I like his Perfect Imperfections and Gnarls projects.. That man is Dope.. Drake aint got nathan on Ceelo Green..

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
2:45 pm

We thought we were going to have an empty nest in about 4 years but because he rolled over one night when the stars were aligned just right, we gone be starting preschool in 4 years.

Beautiful

November 5th, 2009
2:45 pm

@ladies
who are you more loyal to? your gf’s or your man? keep in mind how long you have known each person.

Dream_n

November 5th, 2009
2:46 pm

Cee

He MIGHT not even try your dude. My brother never tried my father. When we were younger we were kinda scared of him. We had the utmost respect fo our father. Now our mother was a different brand. While we did respect her we tried her more than once… WE never won, but we tried lol….

My bro rose up on my mom one day and started yapping at the mouth… She pushed him on the couch and punched him in his chest so hard I thought he was going to have an asthma attack.

Kym

November 5th, 2009
2:47 pm

Cee your son is in what 4th, 5th grade. Next year 6th grade he is going to wake up a whole different person. It is like some genetic code kicks in and they go ape-shyt batty. My son kicked in at 6th grade went into over drive 7th grade, and this year kind of pulled into neutral. He has his moments but I think I have a cooling period until 10th grade.

Leggs

November 5th, 2009
2:48 pm

To the men, care to continue sharing your stories on when your father was about to or actually did show you who the “man of the house” was?

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
2:49 pm

Willie D – You know what I didnt but it was crazy cause I’d seen my dad mad and even fight before (He whipped some dude with his belt after he knocked him out) but I’d never seen him with a look of hurt, disgust anger and danger at the same time.. Yeah I was scared and I knew Moms couldnt intervene in this one and I knew she wasnt gonna intervene. I was on my own.

Leggs

November 5th, 2009
2:52 pm

@Deeam_n, my oldest brother got his chest all puffed out and back talked our mother. My mother broke a broom across his back then kicked him in the butt as he was falling to the ground. Mama didn’t play, EVA!

Kym

November 5th, 2009
2:53 pm

Oh yeah and Cee..I am 5′11 ok I can push 6ft in heels. My son is now 5′8 and solid. So yes he will be bigger than me soon. But he knows I am crazy..and I will beat his tail to hell won’t have it if he ever bucks up and tries me. I told him the day he tries is the day he leaves my house..naked and walking. I will love you right or wrong but I will break my foot off in your behind. Plus he has an assortment of crazy aunts, uncles, cousins on both sides of his family. My auntie is 75 and told him “Son don’t let me drive over there with a stick.”

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
2:53 pm

@ Dream_n – Your point is taken…you might be right…he may not. But since my son is a male…the men in my fam kinda said it my come. Then just recent that my gf experience it’s been on my mind. I want as many point of views to appease my thought after my girlfriend was a frazzled because her son was about to get hurt for real!

If lil Cee“think it” one day…there’s a monkey wrench for that too.

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
2:54 pm

Actually he did Melo, but that was because the knucklehead just showed up late one night without any prior notice, and nearly got his head shot off. He has his own apartment. I made it clear with him that that was his place. But he still felt like he could just come walking in the house late at night when he felt he wanted to. Heck he couldn’t even do that when he did live in our house.

Mason told him how it was right then and there. And to let him know how serious he was he called him “Boy” and took the house keys. LOL

I remember once while he was still living down here at with us, I had him on a tight leash. He was working but he was not doing right with his money. He has a son and he needed to buy some things for him. He couldn’t get any money out of me so he went to Mase and was by him that he did not have the pleasure of making that baby so he will not bear the burden of taking care of it. Period.

He wanted to act like a man and do manly things, he’s got to do manly things and be a man now.

SexyCool - Ride or Die.

November 5th, 2009
2:54 pm

Two different brands of loyalty. Apples and oranges, babygirl.