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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Bonnie & Clyde

I was having a friendly debate with my friend Mark about loyalty in dating relationships. I don’t think it exists.  As humans, we are self-preserving, self-serving people.  Loyalty extends about as far as it can until we decide that our own needs are more important than someone else’s.

He disagreed and said that loyalty is one of the things that people should be willing to prove in dating to lead to a relationship.  Mark and I  joked about how Bonnie & Clyde were known as the most loyal couple in history.

In some twisted way, the fact that she not only stuck by Clyde and covered for him, she  also joined in his crime sprees of robbery and murder. Are women expected to break the law to prove loyalty to their man, though!?

Do you think that loyalty is a realistic expectation in dating? Is it important to you when you are getting to know someone?

How do you know when someone is loyal to you? Is it something you can really prove or a feeling you give?

Do you think that couples have to “keep” their mate loyal?  What kind of person is more likely to be loyal? Is that the kind of character trait you can suss out in dating?

302 comments Add your comment

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 5th, 2009
10:30 am

Loyalty is essential in ANY relationship where the individuals have proven (and earned) mutual trust, respect, honor….and overall caring.
I have learned to be loyal to those who are loyal to me…life is too short to waste energy on people who do not deserve my loyalty…

I agree with that sentiment in that there are some things that must be proven/earned in relationships and loyalty is one of them. However, there are unfortunate situations where some men/women go into it blindly only to later be left jaded,bitter,mad as heyal,etc. Blindly how might you ask?….we’ve all seen people we know that have given blind loyalty, blind love, blind respect to individuals that we know/think/feel shoudln’t get anything but shown the front door.

Dream_n

November 5th, 2009
10:31 am

East Point’s Own

I understand.

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
10:32 am

SexyCool I agree with not being fond of dying. I have no loyalty for anyone that would knowingly even put me in a situation that could cause me harm.

abc

November 5th, 2009
10:32 am

But, Raqi, the reason that you stick by them come hell or high water, the nature of your devotion, faithfulness, and dependability, is that you put their interests first, before your own. One passes by the shiny new model because of commitment to the one whose interests they hold dear.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
10:33 am

if Mike Vick and the dog clan were anything like Bonnie n Clyde…how ‘bout I’d rather be the pit bull …his folk weren’t reliable AT ALL!

Dan -fighting for (inner) peace

November 5th, 2009
10:34 am

@MDot

People cheat because of convenience and out of lust.

Loyalty’s perversion allows them to return to the relationship with a (semi-) clear conscious. donning blog vest

The people that cheat and leave were never really loyal in the first place.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
10:35 am

…i don’t know where that came from…

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 5th, 2009
10:36 am

Cemeeli – loving your 9:47

Morning Party People!

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 5th, 2009
10:38 am

@Dan -fighting for (inner) peace

That’s an interesting point Dan. So they can cheat and come back and its cool? The trust is gone then but that has to be re-earned along with the loyalty.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 5th, 2009
10:39 am

…i don’t know where that came from…

Yes you do Cameeli b/c I’ve always thought the same thing….it’s jacked up that someone in his own camp/family turned on him and started a whole lotta ish. Where’s the loyalty in that?

Dream_n

November 5th, 2009
10:40 am

Question Time:

Give examples of loyalty in regards to a relationship..

Dream_n

November 5th, 2009
10:41 am

okay not really a question.. but you get though :)

Dan -fighting for (inner) peace

November 5th, 2009
10:43 am

@M-Dot

I’m not saying “it’s cool”, I’m saying it’s done.

Cheating is disloyal to the relationship (as an entity) and the other person in the relationship. But notice I said the perverted form of loyalty. It’s the perversion (and selfishness) that makes the cheater return.

SexyCool - Ride or Die.

November 5th, 2009
10:44 am

Fortunately, I don’t choose mates that are into illegal or get me kilt ish anymore. :grin:

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 5th, 2009
10:46 am

why do people cheat? Is it a lack of loyalty or placing self happiness over solutions i.e., working it out?

There are a myriad of reasons people stray but per your question, therein lies the answer b/c it pretty much boils down to what you’ve stated.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
10:47 am

Thanks Mo aka Shawty By Nature…my sister from band dance team over yonder-way…have you seen the latest trend in dance uniforms?

after lunch topic

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
10:50 am

@ Sassy -

Yeah, his camp pretty much help send that man “downtown”…not that they we tryna cover their own azz.

Dan -fighting for (inner) peace

November 5th, 2009
10:54 am

Off topic:

Rihanna is sexy as he!!

back to the regularly scheduled programming….

SexyCool - Ride or Die.

November 5th, 2009
10:54 am

Dude’s loyalty was to himself. He was trying to cover his own ass. See, that’s why I don’t knowingly eff around with folks that do that go to jail kinda ish.

Cause when the cell door slams, I would get diarrhea of the lips. Seriously.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 5th, 2009
10:55 am

Cemeeli – LOL! Well being the SWD Alum that I am, I have checked out some of the “latest & greatest” in uniforms. The many wardrobe changes is what gets me, three uniforms for one football game! I just wore my same old ‘bathing suit made of sequins’ (as my dad called it) & white boots for the whole game :shock: ….the horror!! LOL!

okay back on topic before M. puts me in the corner! :smile:

Rell - da rake

November 5th, 2009
10:57 am

@dan….the death blow is coming to chris brown after that specail airs..he will be out of music…she just hit that cat with the death blow…i was like awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww dayum..she all crying looking all vunerable and ish on tv..but whats funny is when i see her all i see is the naked pics…lol

Wise Diva

November 5th, 2009
10:57 am

Loyal is walking your girl’s dog for her and buying her tampons! :)

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
10:59 am

buying her tampons

LOL That’s when I knew for sure he loved me.

Leggs

November 5th, 2009
11:01 am

Let’s not talk about cheating. If another married man approaches me asking for a relationship (yeah right), I’m gonna drop kick his a$$!

@Raqi, I agree, but was being nice. Emotionally, second answer was the first, but medically first answer probably more on target!

@SCool ~ can we start a support group for those still seeking men that may put you in jail trying to prove your love/loyalty?

SexyCool - Ride or Die.

November 5th, 2009
11:01 am

And in hair news, I have traded the ‘creamy crack’ in for texturizer. It works much better for the styles that I where my hair in – especially with my curly sue style that I wear during the week when I’m working out.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
11:01 am

You should see Pebblebrook and Mays…i was :shock:

Yup sequin was the joint…ain’t nothing like that silver and maroon reflecting off the sun in a parade and on the field :) and the team wore whatever I and the Morris Brown captian picked back in the 90s…but NOW!…Wow…just wow!…My mom dukes did not allow me to wear mine without a warmup over it when i was not performing.

Still got my boots…i donated my uniform back to a young lady the year after grad.

Melo

November 5th, 2009
11:02 am

Give examples of loyalty in regards to a relationship..

Dream_n,not undermining ur mate to ur friends,fam members or other outside pple.

Raqi’s 10.14..if u keep on talking about our stuff to ur mama and dem,then u either immature,disloyal or both.Every relationship has its ups and down and u need to know that be4 u sign on the dotted paper.Dont make every argument and excuse to say,”im bailking out”.That wld mean you aint serious not loyal to the relationship.
If u loyal to me,you run thru me and by me…….

Melo

November 5th, 2009
11:04 am

her and buying her tampons

call me disloyal then,i aint buying that unless she down for week with swine flu!

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
11:05 am

Loyalty is when he pays attention to details…

Speaking of tampons, some of you know that the rods are not to be used after giving birth. You have to use the strips. I gave my honey the honey-do list of things I needed after having the baby and he called me from the store when he realized I had listed something other than that little blue box. He wanted to make sure he was getting the right things. LOL

He is loyal to my needs.

Alright, back to the regular scheduled program….

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
11:05 am

Yeah Rhianna is sexy and Chris Brown might as well hang it up.. I feel bad for him.. He shouldnt have put his hands on that chick but nothing is being said how she beat his a$$.. I mean if we gonna air it out lets get it out there.. They fought all the time with her being the instigator but Chris was wrong for beating that chick like that. If he had smacked her up and shook he could prolly come back but closed fist pummelling a chick.. Dude you are cold.. And no I dont condone smacking chicks.. Im not saying its right.. But I understand..

M. (pronounced M dot)

November 5th, 2009
11:08 am

@Leggs

LOL and have guys hit you with the line that “Yeah I am seperated”?

LOL that is code for I am not happy with my wife but it’s cheaper to keep her….now can do you want to be my mistress? LOL :)

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

November 5th, 2009
11:10 am

Let’s not talk about cheating. If another married man approaches me asking for a relationship (yeah right), I’m gonna drop kick his a$$!

Okay?! What’s up woth that? The part I don’t understand is that sometimes they have the audacity to get upset when their advances are rebuffed…..GTFOH with that.

Dan -fighting for (inner) peace

November 5th, 2009
11:10 am

@Raqi/WD

Then colour me just short of “loyal”. I’ll protect you in everyway I can, but the tampons……

@Raqi

No more feminine product descriptions please.

@DK

“..her being the instigator….” <— there's an entire psychological discipline dedicated to those 4 words.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 5th, 2009
11:11 am

@THE INFAMOUS DK

I was wondering today if we will ever hear the whole Chrianna story…I heard she gave him the gift that keeps on giving….

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
11:11 am

Loyalty is not suddenly needing to be somewhere else when you come by the house and find that the kitty is shedding her innards.

Rell - da rake

November 5th, 2009
11:11 am

@DK…i would have just cut her butt off…i mean he allowed that disrespect so he getting it how he lived..he thought that ish was cute..but i am more shooked at his folks…i would have sent homie on a euro tour or something like that to stick some distance between em….but i agree the close fist treatment was over the top…i would have called security on her or had them come pick me up…but i blame his team for this foolishness..they knew better

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
11:12 am

Oh my god though Rhianna is super sexy.. I put her up there with my Girlfriends Kelly, Amerie and Keri..

SexyCool - Ride or Die.

November 5th, 2009
11:13 am

Rellone of my BMFs – strong co-sign on that 1111a.

You should never let ish like that be okay in your relationship from jump.

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
11:13 am

Loyalty is telling your friends you’ll get with them later because you have more pressing issues to take care of even when it’s just to offer emotional support to your s/o by just being by their side.

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
11:14 am

Loyalty is even when you can’t be there you call to show you care.

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 5th, 2009
11:16 am

M. – Yeah she gave him herpes.. Thats what Im saying.. Come on with the come on.. its out there already might as well be the face of valtrex..

Dream_n

November 5th, 2009
11:18 am

@WD
I knew I wasn’t the only one thinking about loyalty/dogs… lol j/k

SexyC Is the texturizer for short hair?? I thought that was what men put in their hair to give them that wet look…

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 5th, 2009
11:20 am

Cemeeli – yeah I always wore warmups while in uniform! And I SOLD my uniform to a chick that made the squad since I was a senior, as for those boots….hmmmmm! LOL

On Chris Brown/Rihanna: like many of you have said I dont condone him putting is hands on her, however I think his camp left him out to dry in this. They could’ve helped him out (like Rell said with the distance, just not allowing it, etc) and I think even now its gonna be worse with this interview coming out. I still love his music and hate to see a young man get trashed, however with actions come consequences. I would like to see them both come away from this, better people, and still successful

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
11:20 am

@ Ms. Main – I’m going to Fresh 2 Go…tell you the review about this location when i get back.

Cemeeli

November 5th, 2009
11:21 am

Mo – You sold yours? Dang i sheist myself!!!…Naw…i was in the hood and knew how things were.

Leggs

November 5th, 2009
11:22 am

Ok, Rhi Rhi hit Chris and Chris hit back. What amazes me with the entire story is what he saw growing up watching his mother get beat. How he swore to himself that he would never hurt a woman like that. Guess all the anquish his mother went through, that he went through hiding a few times because he couldn’t fight back for his mother only to turn around and beatup a woman himself. He couldn’t muster up enough restraint to walk away from the situation. Both parties are outraged and one’s career may never, ever recover. Bet he thought this may be behind him, but now she’s telling her story full of sincerity and remorse something his apologizes seemed to lack.

@SassyMe, how they think it’s flattering is beyond me. It’s insulting to say the least. A co worker noticed my weight gain and is now showing interest in me emailing me asking me for my number. WTH! Emailed back with “WTH is wrong with you, didn’t you just marry 8-9 months ago. Don’t make me hurt you feelings!” End of discussion.

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
11:23 am

True loyalty is voluntary and not forced by way of manipulation. If you have to manipulate somebody you will never know their true level of loyalty. AND if you have to be manipulated you definitely are not loyal in the first place.

Raqi

November 5th, 2009
11:27 am

Leggs usually when a boy grows up seeing a woman get beat into “acking right”, he comes to inwardly think that is the correct way to deal with a woman. Even when he thinks he never will. It’s like a natural instinct until he learns better.

Just like some women grow up seeing their mother, grandmother and aunts emasculating the men in their lives and think it’s the way things are.

Sad but as with little Boy Brown, he has lived now let’s hope he has learned.

SexyCool - Ride or Die.

November 5th, 2009
11:28 am

Dream’n – yes, the texturizer is for short hair. I had been relaxing mine because although I have a strong natural curl pattern I do like to wear it straight, but have to put to much heat on it to keep it straight because I work out so much.

During the week, when I am working out 3 – 4 mornings a week, I just wet it in the shower and foam it and let it air dry. I wear it straight on the weekends – right now, it’s kinda Kandi from RHOA-like.

I switched from the relaxer because it was making my curly sue too straight. With the texturizer, I can still keep my curls but leave it manageable enough to straighten under the hooded dryer.

Dream_n

November 5th, 2009
11:28 am

Loyal is walking your dog at 5:30 in the morning and you get mugged and your dog bites the he!! out of the attacker even though the attacker has a bat and is beating the sh!t out of both of you…

Now that’s loyalty…..