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Archive for October, 2009

Get Creative

The Fall season brings cooler temps but that doesn’t have to put a damper on your dating. This is the season to kick up your creativity a couple of notches. We all know that you don’t have to break the bank to go on a date. You just have to know the likes/dislikes of the person you are dating then put in a little research.

Do yourself a favor and bookmark our Bargain Hunter blog. Rana Cash outlines all the best bargains and she recently outlined 5 cheap date ideas!

Atlanta can be such a great city to go on a date. The city has its own energy and charm that sets the scene for you. I can tell you that people are getting bored with dinner and a movie.

Let’s have a little idea swapping today and see who has the goods on creative dates.

Raqi sent me a nice category of dates to plan:

1. Best date for under $40

2. Best Morning date

3. Best date centered around a theme

4. Best outdoors date

5. Best free date

6. Most unique dinner and a movie date

What could you add to this list? How …

Continue reading Get Creative »

Keep it Between Us

A reader emailed because she wants help getting out of the doghouse with her boyfriend. This past weekend, he heard her on the phone discussing their relationship with a close friend. He was particularly upset because she was  talking about their bedroom activities as well.

His point was that you don’t give explicit details about what we do in private. He doesn’t understand her need to talk about it, especially if there are no problems.  Now he doesn’t think she is trustworthy and he thinks she’s immature.  She is in her early 20s, so it’s probably a hard lesson to learn but at least she learned her lesson.

Would it bother you if someone you were dating constantly talked about your relationship with other people? How would you handle it?

Guys, have you ever dated someone who would discuss your sex life with other people? Did it bother you? If so, why?

Ladies, do you think that it’s good practice to talk about your man’s skills to other women? Why do so many women do that? …

Continue reading Keep it Between Us »

Your Ex is Satan?

I was on a date recently with a guy who somehow managed to bring up his ex-girlfriend.  I can’t remember how the topic even came up but I distinctly remembered his disdain. Apparently, his ex-girlfriend is Satan. An evil person with no soul, or some equally disturbing description.

I usually don’t penalize people for mentioning their exes, especially if they have children together. This time though, the fact the he mentioned her and called her Satan made me think about how we really have ghosts in our relationship past that still haunt us.

Now I won’t pretend that the mere mention of at least two of my exes can’t make be stabby on a bad day. However, I definitely don’t want to think that they are blocking me from a new relationship!

What is it about our past relationships that haunts us so much? Do you ever mention your ex when on a date?

Do you think that we hold on to our resentment and anger because we never really got closure on the situation?

Do you have someone in your …

Continue reading Your Ex is Satan? »

Unpredictable

I had a date Sunday night with an interesting fellow, I’ll call him Vince.  We met through some mutual friends a few weeks ago.  The evening went pretty well for a first date. I noticed that Vince seemed to have this running theme during our conversation: spontaneity. As in, the more spontaneous a woman is the more attractive she becomes to him.

Interestingly enough, I didn’t get the spontaneous vibe from him at all when we first met. He seemed as if he was a quiet, conservative type. So here is the guy with the Conservative Uniform on, telling me that he likes a woman who can be unpredictable. He “gets bored” easily so if the woman he is dating isn’t able to be spontaneous, they probably wouldn’t get along very well.

Ladies, apparently men don’t want to be stuck with a snorefest, no matter how hot she is. Do you think that you are unpredictable and spontaneous..um, in a completely sane way?

Guys, do you really dig unpredictable women that much? Are you looking for women who …

Continue reading Unpredictable »

Location, Location, Location

I don’t know how to explain it but I call it the Panera Hottie Phenomenon. In the last couple of weeks, whenever I go in to a Panera Bread restaurant, I always spot a great looking guy. Not only is he great looking but he catches my eye in that “he could be my boo” kind of way.  It’s like the guy is literally in Panera bread waiting for me to walk in!

I firmly believe that where you reside, spend time, or hang out has a tremendous impact on who you meet and date.  If you find that these locations are not working for you, it’s time you shake things up! Go to a different part of your side of town, visit friends in their area, volunteer for a different organization.

Where do you spot the best potential dates? Where are the people who want a relationship congregating? Do you think your location is conducive to finding a date?

When I suggested this to a friend of mine, she scoffed at the idea of doing something to increase her chances of meeting someone.  She thinks that if it’s …

Continue reading Location, Location, Location »

Love, Pleasure, Duty

You guys know how fascinated I am by the research studies! CNN recently reported about a study that was conducted to find out why women have sex.  Yes, this was the actual reason for the scientific research! What are the reasons women do it? They also explored what influenced the female sex drive.

After a previous study identified the 237 reasons why women have sex, researchers polled women to see which ones were selected the most.  The responses varied from love, pleasure, and duty.  Is that really all that different from men, though?

One of the researchers, David Buss said he found it surprising how dramatically and variably sexual experience seemed to influence feelings of self-esteem. I am pretty sure Mr. Buss would have already known this if he was a woman!

What do think about the study? Do you agree that women’s motivation for sex is generally related to love and commitment?  Since women are often referred to as the more complex gender, do you think that what women …

Continue reading Love, Pleasure, Duty »

Define Cheating

I have always said that dating can be like getting a Ph.D in human behavior. When you are trying to find common ground with people, you will discover their views and outlook on little things, and big things. Such as cheating.

You would think that this would be a pretty simple thing to define. I have not always found that to be the case. I was on a date recently and the guy said something about an ex-girlfriend who dumped him because of dirty text messages he had been sending to a former hook-up. That led to a discussion on when someone crosses the line and steps over on to the inconsiderate jerk who cheats side.

I have had this discussion before with men whose definition of cheating vastly differs from mine.  I always like to get a man’s perspective about this fairly early on. His opinion about what constitutes cheating tells me a lot about how he handles his business in a relationship.

Everybody has a different idea on what cheating is and it is easier to define when you …

Continue reading Define Cheating »

The Company’s Sexy Ink

I am not sure if you have all seen the news about David Letterman. In a nutshell, Ole’ Dave was dipping his pen in the company ink, repeatedly, for years.  I watched him reveal the story about a man attempting to extort money to keep the dirty secrets on the air.  It was extremely odd because the audience was laughing as he was recounting the ordeal, weaving in humor whenever he could.

I suppose it can be a cautionary tale about dating and sleeping with co-workers.  I doubt that someone with his public image will ever have true remorse about what he did.  I just wonder about the women that were involved.

When you work with people you tend to reach a level of comfort. If you don’t have boundaries, it would be easy to  cross the line and give in to the attraction you feel. It seems as if today’s society is more accepting of workplace romances. I know couples who openly date at work and it doesn’t seem to be problematic for them.

Have you ever dated a co-worker? Was it  a …

Continue reading The Company’s Sexy Ink »

Reminder: Relationships are important

You know we have all discussed the misadventures in dating on the blog. Ad nauseum. We have also talked about the many, many, many reasons why men and women are so disconnected when it comes to relationships. Despite all of that, I believe that we all know what we are fighting for and why we even put in the effort.

It’s the same reason we sit through the bad dates and put up with the bad attitudes. It’s why men have to deal with gold diggers and Miss Independent. The reason is love and as the song goes, love can be a battlefield.

We go through all of the love wars because deep down inside we appreciate and value one another. I think men and women can understand that we are different and recognize the value in our relationships. Sometimes you should acknowledge why we all try and remind ourselves that relationships are important.

Do you agree, ladies? What do you value the most about men? What do you appreciate about what they bring to the table? How have men and your …

Continue reading Reminder: Relationships are important »

Fake it till you make it

I believe it is Sharon Stone, the actress, who is credited with the quote, “Women might be able to fake O’s, but men fake whole relationships.” Now, aside from the quote coming from someone in Hollywood aka Hollyweird, I think it raises an important question about relationships: When you aren’t totally sure about the person you are dating, is it good practice to fake it until you are certain?

By fake it, I mean, go through the motions, so to speak, of a relationship. It seems that there are these unspoken relationship milestones that couples sort of stumble their way to. Then if or when things come undone, you are left wondering what was the point of all those milestones. Just because we have a great time together and I love spending time with you, do I really need to meet your mother?

Sharon Stone’s quote indicts men who fake relationships but I believe what she is referring to is when a man simply doesn’t know and goes along until he gets clarification. Women can certainly …

Continue reading Fake it till you make it »