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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

The Chokin’ Kind

The other day I saw a music video of singer Joss Stone entitled The Chokin’ Kind. The song kind of haunted me a little because it reminded me of the pain of a past relationship.

I only meant to love you
Didn’t you know it babe
Why couldn’t you be content
With the love I gave
I gave you my heart
But you wanted my mind
Your love scares me to death
Oh it’s the chokin kind
That’s all it is.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and I didn’t want the month to end without discussing it here.  I believe much of the abusive behavior of a relationship arises in the early dating stages. Most people won’t punch their date or verbally attack someone they’ve only just met, but there are red flags. I think it starts with control issues and escalates from there. We often disregard things that we shouldn’t. What are other red flags?  How do you avoid dating an abusive person?

Would you date someone who had been abusive in a past relationship?

Have you ever dated someone whose behavior was suffocating? When did you notice it? How do you handle it?

I wanted to share a few statistics from the Domestic Awareness Project:

1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape.

Three women are killed by a current or former intimate partner each day in America, on average.

Over 22 percent of women and 7.4 percent of men surveyed, reported being physically assaulted by a current or former partner in their lifetime.

It’s staggering looking at the numbers, but behind these statistics are real people, who have experienced painful abuse. What more can be done to raise awareness?

Do you think that men should do more to end violence against women? In a call to men, the Domestic Violence Awareness project listed the first thing men can do: Acknowledge and understand how sexism, male dominance, and male privilege lay the foundation for all forms of violence against women. What are your thoughts?

250 comments Add your comment

Tazzee - Patience is a Virtue

October 29th, 2009
3:54 pm

Leggs – you must send me a picture of you as Diana Ross. I heart her!!!

czBrat – umm, is your 3:44 a jab and Mizz Ross, the Boss? Betnot nobody talk bad about Mizz Ross up in here!!!!

SCool – as always, you put it down.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 2days...

October 29th, 2009
3:55 pm

In seriousness, I hate to see what played out in Clayton County. It reinforces so many negative stereotypes about black men, black women, black love and the fact that it happened in front of impressionable kids was truly the worst of it all.

I wish one of them had chosen to be the bigger person, but reminds me of something I’ve heard said often, “You can’t be big and small at the same time.”

Shameful.

Kym

October 29th, 2009
3:55 pm

Well they both about to be jobless. See this is part of the reason little Johnnie can’t read. Teachers at the school fighting over some dude instead of educating the youth. Kids see foolishness all around them and respond with more foolishness. Who in the sam hill writes a love letter on Facebook?

Leggs

October 29th, 2009
3:56 pm

Flash Forward, Grey’s and Private Practice!

Mo (aka Moeisha, today is my friday)

October 29th, 2009
3:58 pm

Have a good weekend all, hit ya’ll on Monday

Kym

October 29th, 2009
3:59 pm

Speaking of the youth. I have opened “the son” a savings account. All payments into the account are based on academic performance. Since he is can’t seem to read what the teachers want him to read..its boring. (Damn Aries personality) No cash for you until grades come back up to pre-8th grade levels.

In the know

October 29th, 2009
4:03 pm

@Leggs-I have seen that happen as well. One was a rape of a 17yro by a stranger and she wanted to press charges. We find him and the DNA matches but then she decides she doesnt want to prosecute anymore because the boyfriend is giving her a hard time for the rape. Even after we tell her we found there were others. Her family was outraged and didnt want anything to do with her either. She had lots of support that should have over-rode the moron boyfriend but she wouldnt listen…if they will cross the line the first time-on anything-they will do it again. The first time is the hardest and it gets easier everytime after that.

But as far as “A man only doing to you what you allow them to” in most instances is true BUT there are those crazy jokers out there that when you try to bail they take on the stalker role and if I cant have you no one can and try to kill you. So thats why its important to really learn to read people and their mannerisms before you give them a shot…one date can a stalker make!

Raqi....Awaiting Private Practice

October 29th, 2009
4:04 pm

Leggs I kinda lost my love for Grey’s, but I am surely waiting to see Private Practice tonight.

czBrat

October 29th, 2009
4:06 pm

c’mon Tazzee talented fo sho but the look was wack! or am i just lacking in appreciation for that era?????

Ms. Main....popping in for a second

October 29th, 2009
4:08 pm

Sassy – I know for some folks it may come off a bit insensitive but I so believe in a man will only do what you allow. It’s a cliche but every bit of true.

czBrat

October 29th, 2009
4:08 pm

SexyCool you’re right, but since they hadn’t named names or posted pics i was holding out hope that it wouldn’t be a ‘black thang’. :(

i'm swiss

October 29th, 2009
4:10 pm

“It reinforces so many negative stereotypes about black men, black women, black love”

SexyC — See, I’ve been waiting for a topic change to talk about that story…

Look at it this way, you could be my cousins. When it comes to crazy, we take it to a whole ‘nother level. I submit: grown woman astronaut in adult diapers, not to mention any episode of the Jerry Springer Show. See… not so bad by comparison, is it? :lol:

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 29th, 2009
4:11 pm

Aww ya’ll know ya’ll gone be watching the Atlanta Wh0res/wives Finale

Raqi....Awaiting Private Practice

October 29th, 2009
4:11 pm

In the know, my sister defended a 17 yr old young man whose girlfriend teased him over and over again to the point of, I’ll say, him having sex with her. He was tried and convicted for sexual assault. My sister tried her best to get the young man acquitted but it didn’t happen. The boy was not violent at all toward the girl or anyone else but he found himself in a terrible situation dealing with her silliness.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 2days...

October 29th, 2009
4:14 pm

Yeah. I’m going to say it was Keisha and Raynicqua down there acting like idiots over RayRay and will be the first to apologize if there I was wrong.

Tazzee - Patience is a Virtue

October 29th, 2009
4:15 pm

Raqi – I just read about Mase talking in his sleep LMBO! He wants some Raqi lovin’

czBrat – back then her look was HAWT!!! That weave made it through that rain in Central Park, I just KNEW that was her real hair :lol: Man! I wanted to BE Diana Ross. Got a karaoke CD of her songs and I will do a concert if someone would listen :lol:

I am still watching last season’s Greys on Netflix. I thought I was done at episode 22… I’m ready to move to this season. They don’t have Private Practice available so I had to get my friend to give me an update. I plan to start watching this season tomorrow night.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 2days...

October 29th, 2009
4:16 pm

swizzbeats – I will agree that idiotic behaviour is not owned by any one race in particular.

czBrat

October 29th, 2009
4:18 pm

I’m going to say it was Keisha and Raynicqua down there acting like idiots over RayRay

k. when was the last time you laughed so hard you made a snot bubble??? THANX SexyC! :razz:

Leggs

October 29th, 2009
4:18 pm

@Infamous, the finale was last week.

Raqi....Awaiting Private Practice

October 29th, 2009
4:20 pm

EWWW Tazzee. Nah he don’t. Not with that post nasal drip. LOL I’m just kidding.

Yeah sumthin goin’ on over there. :lol:

Ms. Main....popping in for a second

October 29th, 2009
4:21 pm

I thought the finale was tonight…the meet up…with the dude and all of them on the couch

Ms. Main....popping in for a second

October 29th, 2009
4:22 pm

I hope we have a fun light topic tomorrow…nightums

Raqi....Awaiting Private Practice

October 29th, 2009
4:22 pm

SexyCool, I thought hearing about the school bus driver that has been sexing the student this morning was bad, now this.

They should have kept that craziness of campus.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 2days...

October 29th, 2009
4:26 pm

On the bus driver thing, as reported, she was 21 when this happened and the kid was 16 when the alleged relationship started.

At 21, I don’t think she possessed the maturity to deal with students so close to her own age and er, um….don’t y’all judge me – but some of these 15 year olds look like grown ass men running around here. I can see some of these little dudes and get apalled at my own thoughts when I realize that I can potentially be older than THEY MOMMA!!!

SMDH and LMAO at the same time.

czBrat

October 29th, 2009
4:30 pm

um….don’t y’all judge me –

SexyC, how often do you find yourself saying that? hmmmmmm. i’m just sayin ….. :lol:

Raqi....Awaiting Private Practice

October 29th, 2009
4:30 pm

SexyCool, get your behind the damn corner and don’t come out for the rest of the evening. :lol:

Leggs

October 29th, 2009
4:31 pm

Is that considered the finale??? I thought that was just that a “meet up” to discuss what occurred during the season, i.e., all the personality disorders!

To top all of that how about the 66 years old state attorney general caught with an 18 year old prostitute in a cemetery with viagra and sex toys on his lunch hour. Told the police officer who he was and that his wife also worked with him. Officer called wife to confirm his identity and gave him a warning. The wife went to his boss and reported his activity. My first thought is doesn’t the lil blue pill last at least 4 hours. What was he going to do with the rest of the time to ward off the effects of the pill, meet with his wife in the broom closet!?!?

i'm swiss

October 29th, 2009
4:31 pm

Having once been a 16-year-old dude, I can say with absolute certainty that the kid who got his world rocked by the 21-yr-old bus driver was not a victim. :lol:

Raqi....Awaiting Private Practice

October 29th, 2009
4:32 pm

But you know seriously, SexyCool, me having 20 and 14 yr old sons myself make any man under 25 seem like a baby to me.

Melo

October 29th, 2009
4:32 pm

Uall talking about the two teachers in Crapton County and not the school board member who assaulted her live-in guy??

Interesting hypocrisy u women.
Isnt that DV??

Yeah,im back. :lol:

Dream_n

October 29th, 2009
4:33 pm

Okay I need to look up all these stories…

and SexyC you are correct… my cousin is only 17 but looks evry bit of 28, 30, beard and all…..

Tazzee - Patience is a Virtue

October 29th, 2009
4:33 pm

czBrat – I am so mad at you for that snot bubble comment :lol:

When I was in college – my friends used to be bus drivers. Most weren’t 21 yet so I can definitely see how that could happen back then. Now the 21 year old female? She SHOULD know better, but I wasn’t that bright at 21 myself.

Dream_n

October 29th, 2009
4:34 pm

swiss…. tsk tsk tsk

Melo

October 29th, 2009
4:35 pm

ot his world rocked by the 21-yr-old bus driver was not a victim

yeah, i agree.

In the law book,they shld jus term that as deliquency of a minor or sme like that.
I know my Dad wld have taken me to the movies for riding the teacher,if that were me,giving me a smirky smile,eve now and then as we rode into town.
I jus wish my lady teachers were black american :lol:
:lol:

Dream_n

October 29th, 2009
4:36 pm

having 20 and 14 yr old sons myself make any man under 25 seem like a baby to me.

I can definately believe that statement coming from you ..lol

and by the way Happy Anniversary :)

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 2days...

October 29th, 2009
4:37 pm

Silence, African – we just hadn’t gotten around to that yet.

i'm swiss

October 29th, 2009
4:37 pm

“When I was in college – my friends used to be bus drivers.”

I was a bus driver in college — drove the campus buses at UGA. Best gig I ever had, and a great way to mac on the co-eds… :evil: ;-) :lol:

czBrat

October 29th, 2009
4:39 pm

*picturing Melo & pops riding into town for a movie in Zululand*

Tazzee - Patience is a Virtue

October 29th, 2009
4:39 pm

i’m swiss – now that would be a cool job. My friends were driving the buses for the local school system. And they were the silliest folks I know so I don’t understand how they were approved to transport children.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 2days...

October 29th, 2009
4:40 pm

Besides, Melo – I don’t even see a whole story on the other chick. Just the mention of her at the bottom on this story.

i'm swiss

October 29th, 2009
4:40 pm

“I jus wish my lady teachers were black american”

Not so fast, melo — the bus driver in question was one of my people. Trust me, when it comes to female teacher boning males students, I think my cousins lead the league… :lol:

Melo

October 29th, 2009
4:41 pm

hehe,swiss.

I know,all the ladies u had ur eyes on neva waited on the designated spots. :lol:

sexxual favors :lol:

Melo

October 29th, 2009
4:43 pm

I drive my kids to school in the morn and seeing hw some of these high school girls dress,i pity the male drivers.

long azz nails,high heel shoes,wigs,lip stick and brandname clothes…thats some parent paying that for a kid with no income???

Leggs

October 29th, 2009
4:44 pm

She was a stripper, not a pro!

i'm swiss

October 29th, 2009
4:46 pm

“i’m swiss – now that would be a cool job.”

Tazzee — Yep, it was. The last year or so that I drove, I had the Thursday & Friday night Russell Hall night bus route — ran from about 7pm to 12:30 or 1:00am. Sounds like a crappy shift on the surface, but in reality, it was the party wagon for all the drunk, freshmen chickidees in Brumby hall to get downtown. I used to have “karaoke night” on the bus — complete with disco ball & different musical themes. I would force the co-eds to entertain me while I drove. :lol: One particularly talented young scholar did a pole dance on the hand-rail just behind the driver’s seat (sadly with clothes on, but still nice). :lol: Ahhhhhhh… college.

Sag Pants

October 29th, 2009
4:50 pm

I’d like to date Ivana Trump. Anybody got her number?

Sag Pants

October 29th, 2009
4:54 pm

Or Jamie McCourt. I love me some cougar.

Melo

October 29th, 2009
4:56 pm

I love me some cougar

Tameek Foster-Raymond

5 kids,lots of mula and fertile

Cant beat that :lol:

Good nite!

czBrat

October 29th, 2009
4:59 pm

Sag Pants

October 29th, 2009
5:00 pm

Um, no. Vivica A. Fox, yes. Halle Berry, quadruple yes. Priscilla Barnes, quintuple yes.