We all know that it is just a game between both sexes aimed at the ultimate goal – to get some – and yes, ladies, this means you do the same thing!

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since im often considered the hopeless romantic amongst my friends, I think I would def fit that category. being romantic is just my nature (still to this day dunno if that’s a good thing or a bad thing), but i hate to be cheesy-romantic or generic/cliche romantic, because i feel sometimes it just doesn’t come off as genuine enough. but since im in a new relationship & still on that probationary period i guess you could say lol these are my five thing i’d like to do for my boothang….scratch that…insert: WILL DO for my boothang

1. she just got a new job @ loveculture & i recently talked to the manager bout how excited she is about working there so i thought on her first day i’d send her sum white calla lillies, since she hates roses

2. being frm louisiana & georgia & just recently moved to cali (bay area). well she like been here all her life and she has a really big pride for the bay area & all forreal she really puts on for her city no doubt so i was thinkin since she rarely gets the chance to go to san francisco i could take her away for sum downtime across the golden gate.

3. her bday is two days after vday & she’ll be turning 21 so she takin a road trip 2 to atl wit her friends, but ill be workin so i can’t come (damn military) so i thought since i won’t be able to come i’d help her out by filling her tank up, gettin the oil changed, giving her sum extra money, reserving the hotels along the way, cleaning out her car before she leaves, & slippin a lil gift card in the glove compartment. i feel like damn its the least i can do, cuz i kno all she’s worried about is what outfit to wear, what club to go to, & places to shop lol

4. Ok this might seem stupid, but although she is very much on her grown woman bi she still a lil kid @ heart and me too for that matter ya know so i was thinkin i would get her this build-a-bear & name it after her uncle meredith who passed away a while ago. he was like a big influence in her life so i think somethin to remember him by would do her some good as far as rememberance.

5. it maybe a bit on down the line & i kno they say promise rings are played out, but i believe if you make it mean something than it’s function is simply that to cement a promise that i will keep to her. i want it to symbolize the promise and let her know wherever i am in the world im still making damn good on that promise. im thinkin three stone, princess cut in white gold….idk still thinkin bout that one. oh well its a start…

all i kno is that i try to put meaning behind the things i do. i consider gestures far more thoughtful than romantic, but when i do i hope it comes across as either. as long as its appreciated, because i swear on my soul @ the end of the day when all is said and done I just wanna know i made her happy and know im thinking about her even when she doesn’t think i am. thats what makes me feel like im on my job.

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I’m not dating now and it’s been so long since I’ve had romance that I think I’ve forgotten what it feels like. I think to romance a guy, I might make his favorite meal and serve it to him. Or maybe a massage after a long day, (just a massage). Maybe I’ll run him a tub and light some candles, turn on a game for him to watch while he’s in the tub. I think maybe for me, some things I would like are kind of old fashioned, like surprising me by sending flowers. Going to dinner, and dancing and a nice walk. Maybe doing something to make me laugh, anyway like I said, I think I may have forgotten how to be romantic.

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GM All!

List at least five romantic things you want to do for the person you are dating now
1.have a home-cooked meal waiting when he gets home
2.invite him into my bubble bath & sponge him
3.call him in the middle of the day & suggest a hotel room for the night
4.spend a day hanging out with him & his kids
5.turn off my laptop & give him my undivided unattention

Then list five romantic gestures that you would want done for you
1.have my car detailed & serviced
2.let me sit across your lap while i play on my laptop for hours
3.kiss me & tell me to have a good time when i make plans that don’t include you (and really mean it!)
4.spend time alone with my kids
5.laugh when you feel like choking me

Do you think that your romantic gestures would be well-received? ABSOLUTELY Will the person be able to tell that it was a romantic gesture? FOR SURE! Does it count if they don’t? MOST DEFINITELY.

(czBrat now exhausted … wants to go back to bed but gotta commute. see yas on the other end.)

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Romantic Gestures I would greatly appreciate from him right now:

1. Breakfast in bed

2. Wash the windows while I watch listening to some nice music

3. Read to me

4. Get a sitter, pick me up from work and surprise me with a night of dinner and dancing, retiring in a plush hotel and the end of the evening with candles and a bubble bath.

5. Allow me to do absolutely nothing for an entire weekend

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Panda turning of the game for him to watch while relaxing in the tub is a good one.

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I will share this…there were times when I dated and I knew the guy cared because of how he treated me etc., but the relationship lacked that romantic tone. So, when I stepped up and started doing small things he stepped right in.

Raqi…I hope you and Mason are feeling better today. I will do the making the coffee and tasting it to make sure it is just right, and I will take the coffee to him, I guess you can say I do that in lieu of breakfast in bed.

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Happy Hump Day

List at least five romantic things you want to do for the person you are dating now. (lol let’s rewind back 5 yrs.. now I can answer)

#1- I used to wait for him in his room to come home after work (night shift) and have Wendy’s waiting for him so we can talk about our days and eat his fav food ….. I think he’d really like if I did that again…simple but it worked

#2– I would like to take a boat ride around Burnen(?) Harbor just the two of us.. (and capt’n of course)

#3- I would like to pull out all of our pictures and talk about the good memories we had.

#4– He could go to a store and pick out any lingerie he finds appealing… and I’d model it for him while sipping some wine (which i absolutely hate/but he likes) and eating chocolate covered strawberries..yum

#5– I would get plane tickets to Puerto Rico.. So he could visit his grandmother/aunt… whom he hasn’t seen in yrs…

ahhh good times *tear*

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Raqi @ 9:31

I promise… taking care of him is REALLY romantic!!! He might not feel well enough to do anything about it now, But when he fells better, I can assure you he will! LOL

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I believe what she has to say is important and i am honored that she chose to share it with me…

Overly After 20 years you still feel that way? How inspiring!

LOL at me, cz and professor wanting our car detailed!!!

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I haven’t been dating in a while but I do remember, and miss, romance. The big thing for me is that a large part of a relationship is not so much about getting love but giving love.

During this period of time of being single I watch how couples relate to one another and it seems that there isn’t a lot of romance out there. I could be wrong but I don’t see a lot of hand holding or having one’s arm around each other. Do women shy away from these actions or public displays? For myself the part of intimacy isn’t always with the obvious goal in mind. You can be intimate without going to bed.

1. Find out what she likes and unexpectedly get her something related to it.

2. After a long day at work, draw her a bubble bath and have some relaxing music playing for her.

3. When out or even at home, stop whatever you are doing, don’t say anything and cup her face with both of your hands, look into her eyes and give her a kiss, no tongue, just a kiss.

4. Buy a card or flowers when it is not a birthday or anniversary

5. Above all else, tell her that she is beautiful and listen to her, make her feel that she is worth being around.

For myself, I’m probably wrong but I don’t think that I really need that much, have to think more about that one. But I do now that on the surface women need security while men need validation.

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I’d really like to have flowers delivered

ImAPeach:

Have you ever had the edile arrangements?? They are absolutely superb.. Beautiful Decor…and a tasty treat!

Prof… Why am I not surprised mop is #1 on your list.. lol

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Atlanta Gentleman….#3 would totally knock me out(in the very best way)!! If a man sent me a card or flowers, or brought me my favorite bottle of wine, he’d get a heartfelt and sincere show of appreciation and gratitude….but #3….I’d go weak in the knees and stop breathing.

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@Atl Gent- I love your #3

@Dream I like a man that can mop and get the brake dust off my tires that is Sexy

I am really looking forward to taking some notes from the fellas to see what they would like done for them

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Do guyz enjoy bubble baths?????

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Morning All!!

Things I would do/have done:

Send him flowers

Make a CD of songs that make me think of him and give it to him

Make him a basket full of his favorite goodies

Read Erotic Literature to him

Bring him lunch on a whim

Mail him a love letter/sent a message in a bottle to him

Wash his hair/massage his scalp

Things I would like to have done:

Send me flowers (calla lillies or tulips, no roses)

Write me a letter

Have my car cleaned and detailed

wash my hair

Read to me

Be okay with having a good ole fashioned make out session (that doesnt have to lead to s3x)

allow me to fall asleep while laying on you

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@Raqi – hang a “no smoking” sign from your rear view mirror.

@Atlanta Gentleman – on the tell her she is beautiful comment, i’d like to add this. If you discover something about your partner that they do not like about themself and tell them it’s something you like or find beautiful, it will make them feel really really good. I have moles on my face/neck and they aren’t super noticeable but i HATE them!!! Yesterday I was in the bathroom and my “friend” was all in my grill! He was like “I’ve never noticed your moles before… they are beautiful!” and his eyes just lit up and he had the biggest smile on his face. He didn’t know I didn’t like my moles – I’ve never told him. But the fact that he suddenly noticed and he loved them… man, it made me feel so nice.

@Dream – I’ve eaten an edible arrangement lol. And yes! They are tasty!

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@Mo I like this one **Read Erotic Literature to him**

I have done the care bag when my ex was sick…homemade soup,cough medication, cough drops, crackers and juice…

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5) Stock my fridge with his favorite beverages

Thanks for reminding me of this Hopeless. Stocking the fridge and pantry of your SOs favorites is very thoughtful

Fellas can you provide me some honest feedback on a gesture I started??? About 3 months after we began dating, I started a journal. And basically it’s a journal to him and what I’m doing is just writing down things we did and talked about each day. I plan on giving him this as a bday present next year (November). Would you guys find this interesting or a snooze fest? Would you read it or toss it in the corner?

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Dream I had to leave yesterday, but my roll call was sort of serious

Elijah> I spit fire LOL, because I can, but really I am never upset just cracking a few one liners…maybe I will get a gig at Uptown

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@Dream_n

Yup…South Side and a Chicago Public School product!

@ Blog

It seems like a lot of women here just want a maintenance man….lol just go to Home Depot! J/K!!!

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Peach

I know you said fellas, but I did a similar scrapbook for my ex and he loved it! I have done it twice and it went over well…mine were pics, movie stubs and just stuff from things we had done…and I had to substitute with going online and getting pictures because I do not save a lot of that stuff…each page had a theme and I wrote a note on what I remembered most and how it made me feel.

It went over very well I guess because it was from the heart!

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IMO the things that touches the deepest are those things outside of the normal realm of being “romantic” or “romantic gestures”.
There are certain things that are just textbook romance. I think the most unique the gesture and centered around your mate’s personal living the better.

For husband to send me flowers is textbook doings for me. But if helped me plant some flowers or even went out and handpicked some flowers for me that would be very special.

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@ImAPeach404

Cool idea. Also, save receipts from dates, ticket stubs, etc, just to make it more special.

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Professor will you make sure we don’t get turned away at the door???

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@Professor – That sounds really nice!!! I love to write but im not good at saving things, lol. I appreciate your comment and letting me know it was well accepted. It takes time to do stuff like that and I’d hate to think dudes could care less, lol.

It seems like a lot of women here just want a maintenance man…

Yea M. and yall looking for a momma

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Mdot no woman that really appreciates her man is looking for a maintenance man. Just know that the things you all do or can do to make our lives little less hectic and a lot more comfortable counts for a lot.

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@Raqi – I like what you said about sending flowers vs. planting/picking. Tis true but for the gal whom doesn’t have a man who follows the “text book”… receiving flowers can be a big deal.

@M. – thanks for the tip!

@cz – the older I get, the more pop up! I actually had about 40-50 of them removed earlier this year but the Dermatologist told me that the larger/darker ones are not so easily removed on AA skin w/out concern for scaring.
We’ve been together about 4 months and yesterday was the first time he ever saw them which means I probably make a bigger deal out of them than anybody else.
He said “God decided you were so beautiful that he sprinkled your face with beauty marks” that was kind of romantic now that I think of it….awwww!

@AtlantaG – yes, I do include my thoughts… the good the bad AND the ugly!

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Wise Diva,
Relax and let love take its course. A male friend of mine told me something over 15 years ago, that remained with me throughout my dating days. He said that a man could smell a desperate woman. I believe this is true. When ladies meet men, they’re already sizing them up in term of looks, character, career, and material things. It’s as if we’re completing this mental checklist while we are conversing with these guys. You’re right; you don’t want trash or a loser. However, you may want to relax, have fun during your date, and if it doesn’t work out, thank God you escaped a possible dead-end relationship.

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@Dream – Thank you

Just know that the things you all do or can do to make our lives little less hectic and a lot more comfortable counts for a lot. Well stated Raqi

@M. – did you have a bad experience with eating somebodys cooking? I use to work with this lady who would always bring desserts to work. I used to tear them up until she told me she had 11 dogs…

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czBrat – YOU GO CHICA!! LOL! okay you made it this long so you can go ahead and sport ya ponytail! Baby steps, one day at a time.

ATL Gentleman – thank you! And I feel the same way, I love for my SO to run his fingers through my hair…so relaxing

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@ CZ- I will take the door off the hinges, so don’t worry about that!

@ Peach…I did more of a scrapbook and I am not good at saving things either so I had to get creative and go online. For the Hawks game I did not have the tickets, but I went online and printed off the final score and the headline from the newspapers article.

@M. that was funny about the maintenance man. Seriously I really enjoy doing things from the heart and I like receiving those special thoughtful gifts…I guess you can say I am like the line from Lyfe’s song, …someone that is slow to take and quick to give…it must be nice (cooing like Lyfe)

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CZBrat: Thanks for clearing up the car cleaning details!!

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Mdot you know what is super romantic? Cooking together. Since you have an issue with a woman cooking for you the two of you getting in the kitchen and putting together a nice meal would be the epitome of romance. Feeding eat other little taste samples while sipping a glass of wine (or beverage of choice) and listening to some soft music can be H.O.T. So can you standing behind her with your hand on hers stirring a pot and inhaling that awesome aroma together.

Make it happen how you need it to happen.

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@Raqi

I guess people didnt read my list lol that was on my post. #5

5. Let’s make a complicated recipe from start to finish (go to the supermarket, cook and interact together and eat together.)

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Sorry Mdot I was reading from bottom of page up.

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Would you guys find this interesting or a snooze fest? Would you read it or toss it in the corner?

That wld depend on ur guy,his mental make up…

I see my Queen doing the same type of thing.She is a hopeless romantic and wld proly do stuff like that coz she sees “romance flashing signs” in the most mundane stuff.
Give it a try tho!

For me,the most romantic thing that i did once, that really took her by surprise and for which she still talks about is when she was prego with my son,almost nine months and i send a lady home to give her a full body massage.The lady even broght all her equipment(small folding bed)etc and they did the do in my daughter’s bedroom.It was a complete surprise to her.By the time the lady was done,Queen went to sleep and the lady was gone..the house was peaceful and i wasnt even there.
Its always on her mouth.
The things she does for me that i wld consider romantic?? Funny thing is,she does stuff that,upon reflection here,u wld call them romantic but i neva think about it that way,altho i shld:
1) buys me all my underwear
2) buys me most of my dress shirts,i neva ask her to
3) she plants a kiss on my cheek as she leaves for wrk and im lying in bed,tho not asleep.
4) always packs my lunch and leaves it on the counter or fridge
5) if u like how i smell,she picked the fragrance

Anything i wld do for this woman,she will proly find romantic.She likes holding hands when we go out in public,smetimes i have to shake the hand off me being me!

I cannot list here the things i wld want her to do for me coz i think she has done more for me than i have to her.
But then,if i did,I wld have a large clothing and laundry bill coz she wld spoil her clothing and underwear at the most remote and mundane of my actions.

I kinda play hard to catch with her and her emotions.
Im sure she finds that romantic too.Its not deliberate,its just my mental make up.

Morning folks!

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@Professor

LOL no worries its just funny how women have a honey do list change this light bulb, climb to the roof and adjust the satelite, wash the windows on the 2 floor, etc….

@ Guys

What do you call your list for the woman in your life and what is on this list? The Beau Do List?

Wait…this may be…chauvinistic not intentionally! Just want to hear the opinions!

@Raqi

No worries!

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Could “detailing the car” be a euphemism?

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Melo…

I know have a new respect for you… lol

M. I don’t think its so much of a honey to do list…

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A lot of folks mentioned things they do/would do everyday such as preparing dinner, helping getting his tie right, etc…. at what point do things that were romantic become routine? I mean at some point don’t those things that happen on a schedule have to be taken off the list of romantic things???

http://hispointofview.com

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helping getting his tie right, etc…. at what point do things that were romantic become routine?

East it’s not just helping with the shirt and tie but it’s more of when and how it’s done. It’s not something to do every day. It’s the approach. The look in my eyes. The whisper of my voice. The sexiness of my grin. The gentle touch of my hands against his back, shoulder and chest.

I agree some things are just routine and that is why I did not list cooking. I cook all the time. And did not include him giving me gifts because he does quite frequently. The romance of a gesture depends a lot on the timing.

Cheesecake is my crack. But I like it even more because I don’t eat it every day.

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And East that’s why I said it’s all about getting outside of the textbook gestures of romance. i.e. Candlelight dinners, walk in the park, etc.

However I do agree with ImAP when she says that when you are not getting those things it is special when you do. Textbook or not.

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1. Plan/cook his favorite meals
2. Pick up/buy something nice for him
3. Send a hawt message when I know he got a scheduled conference call…(did that once and he came out and said I had to come out of the call for that one AND took a flight in)
4. Engaged with him and his son…even sweeter when his son gave my daugter an unexpected smack…on the mouth…awwwww
5. Stroke him…when he needs it

Back to the cotton fields

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Hey Proff!

I know have a new respect for you

why is that??

didn’t go over too well… lol

Find a romantic book urself and read to him a passage or 2 and hear what he has to say??
He may not be wired that way..we all dont find romance in the same things.
My Queen wants me in the room as she watches a lyfetime movie and im reading my magzne.I dont get it,but she does.

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ImAPeach, the journal sounds like kind of an extreme idea to me. If my girl did that, I’d shutup and be as gracious as possible, but I’d think it was very weird. Writing down a record of our interactions? Hmmm. Weird.

Our way of being romantic is to take care of each other, in all ways. Consideration and respect for the other that outweighs self-interest is the key. I know what she likes; I do those things. She does the same for me. At that point, any activity is romantic.

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YAWN, you really need to do better.

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Melo:

You usually talk about and discuss crude things.. so to hear you speak about ur wife in that manner and to hear what you did for her is quite refreshing….. is all

MO: Yeah, its hard to be nice to a person when you are going to spend your weekend moving back in with your moms

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@Dream_n for some reason I think you mentioned throwing in the towel in a few months. Have you changed your mind?

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Proff..

No, the towel has been thrown in and he will be leaving this weekend… and I will be moving at the end of the month..

I sent the text to try to put some humor in the whole situatuion, but it didn’t work… it’s bitter sweet ya know…

I’m sad as hell, but trying to keep a smile on my face at work… and trying to keep from breaking down… but in the end its the best for all 3 parties involved…. me, lil dream, and him…..

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