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Small Gesture, Big Return

One of the things I dislike about being single and unattached is the lack of romance.  Guys can be very light on the romance in the beginning! Especially when they are trying to figure out if you aren’t a gold digger, floozie, or some awful puppy-kicking person.

When the romantic gestures finally arrive, in whatever shape, form, or fashion, I’m ready for it.  I don’t think romance is always like the romance novels or movie love kind of romance.  I have always found that the little things you do or say can offer the biggest romantic returns.

My most romantic moments would probably not even measure high on anyone’s Romantic Richter scale.  To me, however, I really felt something and was moved, and in some instances, shaken!

I always find it really interesting how differently men and women can view romance, though. So, let’s try a little experiment:

List at least five romantic things you want to do for the person you are dating now. If you aren’t seeing anyone, imagine what you would do if you met someone you felt really connected to.

Then list five romantic gestures that you would want done for you.

Ladies, let the men know what their romantic gesture would measure on the Romance Richter scale.

Guys, let us know the same. Do you think women have a hard time romancing you? Could it be that we just don’t know what romance is your book? Do you even need romance when you are dating?

Do you think that your romantic gestures would be well-received? Will the person be able to tell that it was a romantic gesture? Does it count if they don’t?

I am curious to see if we sometimes miss the small gestures of romance because we view romance so differently!

Happy Wednesday!

276 comments Add your comment

Tazzee - Patience is a Virtue

October 28th, 2009
3:09 pm

Mo – I think Mint Condition must have come out when I was ‘in church’ as my BFF likes to say. No secular music from 1992 – 2000, so I only know the REALLY popular songs like Pretty Brown Eyes. I have a Mint Condition station on Pandora so I’m trying to catch up.

Leggs – liver and brussel sprouts for me. Oh and I forgot about going down South for the summer. I think I’m going to try and watch that movie this weekend.

Melo

October 28th, 2009
3:10 pm

It can make some go in the bathroom and touch themselves until actual contact can be made
LEGGS..my woman is very fragile.
I wldnt do it coz she wld total our car on hwy 78.

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
3:13 pm

Tazzee my brother had brussel sprouts, which he hated, for breakfast many mornings. If he hadn’t finished his dinner by the time my mom was ready to go to bed, she would put his plate in the fridge and put it back in front of him at breakfast.

Everyone else was eating eggs, bacon, grits and he was eating the night before brussel sprouts.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
3:15 pm

Leggs – speaking of a visual….dayum!!!

Taz – You are almost exact to the years. Their first release was in 1991. And the album that STAYS in rotation in my cd player and iPod – The Collection: 1991 – 1998.

In Church – I feel ya.

Ms. Main

October 28th, 2009
3:18 pm

Do you guys have any idea how far “just whisper something in her ear or kiss her on her neck before she leaves for the day” will last a woman’s mind. It can make some go in the bathroom and touch themselves until actual contact can be made. Words are powerful

Or be certain to wipe slowly…too fast may cause a burst

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
3:20 pm

too fast may cause a burst

LOL Ms.Main so, so true. I remember back in my “wasn’t getting any” single days…

Mo (aka Dr Seuss for the Day)

October 28th, 2009
3:20 pm

Tazzee – okay chica, you are good then cause you would have missed all their stuff til recently! I actually have all their cds, including the one SCool mentioned and even some soundtracks they were on.

Raqi – my parents did that ‘unfinished-dinner-for-breakfast’ deal too. My dad’s favorite line “aint no bones in that”

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
3:21 pm

@Raqi ~ LOL….I’m full of surprises. Lingering thoughts/words/emotions are pretty profound. :wink:

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
3:25 pm

Mo I only had to do it once with my youngest son and he started forcing anything that he didn’t like down. Once he was acting like he was going to throw-up I told him he would be eating it if he did. I didn’t really mean it but he didn’t have to know that. LOL Either way I never had any trouble getting him to eat to this day.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
3:27 pm

Lingering emotions warmed over like last night’s mashed potatoes.
Leftover thoughts running together like the ramblings from the mind of a mad man.
Unspoken words fall from my eyes like tears sliding down a river.

czBrat

October 28th, 2009
3:29 pm

ok. i never did the “if you don’t eat it you’ll see it again tomorrow” thing, but i was notorious for puting food in front of my kids and my response to their blank stare was “but that’s your favorite”. then they’d shrug and get to eatin. i hate that they’re too old to fall for that now :(

Tazzee - Patience is a Virtue

October 28th, 2009
3:29 pm

Mo and SCool – that’s why I think I will be buying all their stuff after the concert. I like what I’ve heard.

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
3:30 pm

Ok, perhaps it’s just me, but the blog topic = Small Gestures, Big Return. Isn’t that the same as my 3:02! :lol:

@czBrat ~ don’tcha think that’s a happy place. I’m cracking up over here!

Dream_n

October 28th, 2009
3:30 pm

Mo

Leftover food.. I’d die!! Especially something I didnt want to eat the night before… glad I never had to do that..

Unspoken words fall from my eyes like tears sliding down a river.

Something to think about…..damn that’s deep

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
3:30 pm

Yeah Leggs I totally didn’t see that one coming. LOL
Here I am feeling all feverish and achy sipping my hot honey lemon tea and you shocked me. Or as I read a few of us. LOL

But yeah leaving the right words in the ear will have a special one eagerly waiting to get back to you at the end of the day.

And a nice text or email sent can really left the spirits when your S/O is having a hard and/or not so good day.

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
3:34 pm

You guys can act all brand new if you want to.

czB ~ take your fingers out of your ears and open your eyes!

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
3:35 pm

Isn’t that the same as my 3:02!

Leggs yes it is.

The bad girl in me earlier was thinking more in line of how the bible says the tongue is a “small” member…but I am feeling too bad to even finish my thought. LOL

Mo (aka Dr Seuss for the Day)

October 28th, 2009
3:35 pm

Well my parents had us on the ‘clean plate club’ regimen. Now that I am a parent I dont force too much, i just let Lil Mo know that we wont be eating anything else. LOL!

Tazzee – one of my favorite MC songs is This Day, This Minute, Right Now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLHuS1xiY1Q

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
3:36 pm

Mo, my thing is if you are not allergic to it and/or it will not make you sick you are eating it.

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
3:38 pm

The only thing my son can get away with not eating now is the turnip roots that I used to cut up sometimes in my turnip greens and that’s because Mason doesn’t like them.

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
3:38 pm

@Raqi, some of those can be the best comments, when you don’t see it coming. Sorry, you’re feeling all achy! Hope you feel better soon.

Meant to laugh behind “you guys can act all brand new…” Just playing with you!

czBrat

October 28th, 2009
3:38 pm

Something to think about…..damn that’s deep
Dream_n considering where you are right now, that’s either very helpful or incredibly painful. take your time with it.

czB ~ take your fingers out of your ears and open your eyes!
i will, Leggs, but if we start talking smut again i’m going back to my happy place. newbie can only take so much. LOL!

Tazzee - Patience is a Virtue

October 28th, 2009
3:40 pm

Raqi – I threw up once, they didn’t make me eat it though. I was a stubborn child so it might still be there.

Dream_n

October 28th, 2009
3:40 pm

I think I give my lil one too many choices.. lol

If she doesn’t like it, I won’t force her to eat it. I just won’t give it to her again.. I give her things that she likes to eat… thank god she likes the “green” food.. I absolutely hate it!

Melo

October 28th, 2009
3:43 pm

your S/O is having a hard and/or not so good day

RAQI/LEGGS..

isnt it funny how “hard” to men and women is taken so so differently.
To a man,hard is when hes finding it difficult to put back,the engine or transmission that he took down or the jack buckled up under the weight of the car and hes trying to get it up so he can put the tires back on.
To a woman,she will say:

Leggs:ohhh,Keisha,it has has been hard for me these past few months..

Keisha: whats wrong baby,whats the ptoblem?

Leggs: well,u know ever since Jack left,it has been hard for me every nite

Keisha: i know leggs,just be strong sweetie,god is good

Leggs: i know keisha, i know, u dont know how hard it is to just sleep all nite on ur own.

Keish: i know,trust me,i dont know what i wld do if Tyrone were not here

Leggs: baby,u so luck.I havent had any in ma mouf in a minute and its daaanmn hard!(leggs,wiping tears with a tissue) :lol:

Dream_n

October 28th, 2009
3:43 pm

czBrat

I think it’s both :)

I think I’m going to have to put SexyCool on my payroll… some of the poetry and word of the days stick with me!!! thanx SC :)

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
3:44 pm

Ok, ok, I’ll behave (maybe).

As picky of an eater as I am, I’m thankful Mama never made me eat it the next day. Also, thankful that lil leggs isn’t as picky as I am.

Mo (aka Dr Seuss for the Day)

October 28th, 2009
3:45 pm

Dream_n – i do make Lil Mo eat some things only to change up his diet some. He used to be a lover of all things green but now, not so much

czBrat

October 28th, 2009
3:47 pm

one benefit of being a czBrat … if i didn’t like what was on the menu, the nanny made me something else. :razz:

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
3:48 pm

That sausage McGriddle that McDonald’s serves isn’t anything new. I don’t like pancakes now and didn’t like them growing up but when my dad made them I would mask the taste with whatever meat we were having for breakfast. Thankfully it was sausage most of the time. It totally covers the taste and texture of pancakes.

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
3:51 pm

I’m going to kick your arse for that skit, Melo!!! You are a bonafide nut. :roll:

Dream_n

October 28th, 2009
3:52 pm

Mo

Some things that I’ve attempted to make she won’t eat, but as soon as my mom makes it.. She’s all like “Nana I like this”… “Mommy no make this”

and i’m like yes I did, maybe it wasn’t that texture.. or even color, but I made it!!

Ms. Main

October 28th, 2009
3:53 pm

Raqi – Heck if I’m revved up…gotta be careful…lol

Ms. Main

October 28th, 2009
3:54 pm

I can’t really follow the flow of convesation but I just spotted Sausage Mcgriddle…I like those….waaaay too fattening

Professor

October 28th, 2009
3:54 pm

…stepping in for a hot second.

What are we talking about? Did the fellas tell us what they like? I am trying to get ready to pamper my next one.

Atlanta Gentleman

October 28th, 2009
3:55 pm

@Leggs – I was on a conference call waiting my turn when I read your ‘It can make some go in the bathroom and…’ statement.

A mute button is a very good thing to have, too funny.

But whispering something like this can sway them from the bathroom to the ‘other’ room:

Other men said they have seen angels,
But I have seen thee
And thou art enough.
~ by G. Moore ~

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
3:56 pm

Beautiful

October 28th, 2009
3:56 pm

thanks Ms. Main! i think imma just punk out and not talk to her as much anymore. *shrug* me being honest will hurt her feelings. it’s not worth it. and i’ll pick up when i’m up to being supportive . . . two to three times a week. mostly on the w/e.

a romantic thing i love is when he comes up from behind and gives me a bear hug while kissing my neck.

have a good day!

Professor

October 28th, 2009
3:57 pm

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
3:57 pm

Where is Rell? He always complained about how women don’t romance men. I would love to hear his ideas of what women should do in the romance dept.

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
3:59 pm

it’s “mrgreen” :mrgreen:

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
3:59 pm

That was for you, Melo!

AtlGent, mute buttons are necessary when on a conf. call while reading this blog!

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
4:01 pm

Other men said they have seen angels,
But I have seen thee
And thou art enough.
~ by G. Moore ~

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Professor

October 28th, 2009
4:02 pm

Ok my green is not working :eek:

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
4:02 pm

From the lack of response from the guys, I ask this question: Is it that the guys only care about romance because we do? And do things that result in a ‘happy ending’ satisfy their definition of/need for romance?

Mo (aka Dr Seuss for the Day)

October 28th, 2009
4:03 pm

Thanks for stepping back in ATL Gentleman and that quote is nice!! :blush:

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
4:04 pm

Romantic Gestures that I like:

A wink from across a crowded room

Offering me his jacket on a cool evening

Ordering my favorite dessert for me while I stepped away from the table

Offering me a taste of something he ordered on his fork/spoon

A nice lower back rub while waiting in line or to be seated

A kiss on the back of the hand while riding in the car

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
4:06 pm

I like all of those Raqi!!

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
4:11 pm

SexyCool, IMO with more than a few guys it is all about the “happy endings”, but what many of them do not realize is when they play their romantic cards consecutively in right order they could walk a woman to her door after a nice evening out, give her a hug, place a nice kiss on her cheek, turn to walk away and she will be pulling him back to her.

While the happy ending should not be the only reason a person does wonderful things for their s/o, doing those things gives them a better chance of reaching those desired endings.

Make the right woman happy, she’ll make you happy without fail.

Melo

October 28th, 2009
4:13 pm

Is it that the guys only care about romance because we do?

Actually,YES. Men do it becoz they know u think much deeper about such issues than we do.
Lemme give u an example.

U remember hw Tazzee mentioned how her guy laid out the stair case with rose petals to propose??Im sure all her lady friends were given the run down about that and how it went down.
Now his guy,i wldnt be surprised to hear that even his very best friend dont know how it went down,other than the fact that he proposed.They proly werent labored with the female details like that.
He did it coz he knows she wld melt like that and make her happy.
After al the crying and tissue trashing,he proly was like,”u have heineken in ur freezer??” and slumbered on the couch to watch espn,while she was upstairs,talking to her girls and raving ’bout the ring.

:lol: