accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Small Gesture, Big Return

One of the things I dislike about being single and unattached is the lack of romance.  Guys can be very light on the romance in the beginning! Especially when they are trying to figure out if you aren’t a gold digger, floozie, or some awful puppy-kicking person.

When the romantic gestures finally arrive, in whatever shape, form, or fashion, I’m ready for it.  I don’t think romance is always like the romance novels or movie love kind of romance.  I have always found that the little things you do or say can offer the biggest romantic returns.

My most romantic moments would probably not even measure high on anyone’s Romantic Richter scale.  To me, however, I really felt something and was moved, and in some instances, shaken!

I always find it really interesting how differently men and women can view romance, though. So, let’s try a little experiment:

List at least five romantic things you want to do for the person you are dating now. If you aren’t seeing anyone, imagine what you would do if you met someone you felt really connected to.

Then list five romantic gestures that you would want done for you.

Ladies, let the men know what their romantic gesture would measure on the Romance Richter scale.

Guys, let us know the same. Do you think women have a hard time romancing you? Could it be that we just don’t know what romance is your book? Do you even need romance when you are dating?

Do you think that your romantic gestures would be well-received? Will the person be able to tell that it was a romantic gesture? Does it count if they don’t?

I am curious to see if we sometimes miss the small gestures of romance because we view romance so differently!

Happy Wednesday!

276 comments Add your comment

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
1:44 pm

Loved “I’m Just a Bill.” Putting that into song was a great way to memorize how a bill becomes law.

Raqi...Feeling a Fever Coming On

October 28th, 2009
1:45 pm

You have to possess a certain amount of corniness to pull off real romance.

czBrat

October 28th, 2009
1:46 pm

LMBO @ Ms. Main! it’s hard on the plantation gurl!

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
1:47 pm

@Melo, SMH…if she has cobwebs, pretty sure she wouldn’t appreciate the text “babe, I’ll be over tonight.” That was funny to me!

Dream_n

October 28th, 2009
1:53 pm

Raqi

I think small things like that can be perceived as romantic.. not romantic in a sense of a candle light dinner or sending flowers, but nonchalantly doing little things effortlessly to help him out… It may seem small but inside he’s bursting with appreciation..

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
1:54 pm

Okay – You guys have said pretty much everything I would have said.

Good Guy, Overly Simple and Atlanta Gentleman – I heart you guys and your list.

One thing I would add – I would like to visit different cities and take carriage rides on warm summer nights or during early fall or late spring under a blanket.

Not big on the flowers – would rather he spend the money on something else.

MND and I were having a conversation last week and he said that women always say that they want a romantic man, but then turn around and complain when that same man is too sensitive or overly sentimental. Of course, he was talking about the big romantic gestures. He believes that you cannot have it both ways.

Oh and yes, a weekend or so ago, after he took his truck for detailing, he took mine. It was a deliciously cared for feeling, even in its simplicity.

Dream_n

October 28th, 2009
1:54 pm

Ya’ll know big brother is ALWAYS watching. They probably said if I can blog, I can take another account…sigh

Ms.Main…

I’m with you.. after my laugh/cough outburst yesterday… Big Brother may be watching a little harder than usual..

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
1:56 pm

So, yes, Raqi – I agree that you have to possess a certain amount of corniness AND confidence to pull off real romantic gestures.

czBrat

October 28th, 2009
1:59 pm

I think small things like that can be perceived as romantic.. not romantic in a sense of a candle light dinner or sending flowers, but nonchalantly doing little things effortlessly to help him out… It may seem small but inside he’s bursting with appreciation..

i think Raqi made a great point when she said it’s all in the approach. if you’re helping your s/o with little things but you’re very matter-of-fact or disconnected through it all, that’s not so romantic. but if you’re sharing the tenderness in doing something for him, then handing him a pair of stinkin’ socks can just about be the highlight of his day!!!

czBrat

October 28th, 2009
2:02 pm

Ms.Main, Dream_n i used to spend my time playing online games. all of a sudden “Access Denied”. can’t wait to see what they’ll do when they realize i’ve discovered blogging.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
2:02 pm

Oh…and another topic that came up with MND and I was about being appreciated and not taken for granted.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
2:05 pm

czB – This blog gets past my IT Nazis because they would have to block access to the AJC site altogether.

I remember a few weeks at the beginning of the year when they were upgrading the servers companywide and I could Facebook at work. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. Seriously LOLing.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
2:08 pm

Oh and I really like the scrapbook/journal idea that you guys talked about. MND is the kind of guy that would appreciate that. I will start one.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
2:12 pm

I’m making some notes about what to put in the scrapbook and had to laugh at the memory of “the first movie we watched together.”

It was Crooklyn on DVD.

And THAT was a horrible movie.

Ms. Main

October 28th, 2009
2:13 pm

CZBrat/Dream_n – It would irke my former manager to no ends, that someone was playing games….she had them removed from the pc and yes, for any other game you can access….access denied. Here recently, they just blocked our gmail and yahoo access. No complaints here cuz I neez my job.

Leggs, one thing I know about learning…for children…singing and visuals sticks so much better than expounding to them daily.

Raqi...Feeling a Fever Coming On

October 28th, 2009
2:13 pm

czBrat Yes. Something as simple and mundane as putting on a shirt can be turned into a very tender moment. Yet get to touch his neck, his shoulders, his chest and his abs. For a little extra tuck the shirt in his pants for him then you get to touch his butt, his hips and his Mr.

Zip, fasten, belt and send him on his merry way. LOL
From experience the more delighted I am to help the bigger the smile on his face.

IMO the magic key is to not let it go beyond just helping him getting dressed. It may give him something to think about as he goes about his day and imagine how he would like to take it further later.

However if he sits you on the counter or takes you to the floor or throws you on the bed and have his way with you before leaving the house, that’s out of your hands. LOL

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
2:15 pm

Oh no, Mr. Zip. Raqi, For Real cannot be rubbing off on you. In the words of My2, “I reject that.” ~lol~

Raqi...Feeling a Fever Coming On

October 28th, 2009
2:16 pm

SexyCool yeah a bit of corniness and confidence is what it takes. Have you ever noticed that the corniness person you know is probably the most outgoing? They are afraid to do the silliest and most offbeat things. And don’t mind verbally expressing.

And a double yes on the taking advantage of.

Ms. Main

October 28th, 2009
2:16 pm

Raqi...Feeling a Fever Coming On

October 28th, 2009
2:18 pm

LOL SexyCool That’s why I separated the lines on purpose. To not make it seem like I was calling it Mr. Zip. That is ForReal’s word.

Zip the pants, fasten and belt.

Dream_n

October 28th, 2009
2:19 pm

No complaints here cuz I neez my job.

*raising my glass* Here! Here!

czBrat

October 28th, 2009
2:19 pm

SexyC i kinda liked the movie and just LOVED the soundtrack!

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
2:20 pm

And yet, I read it that way anyway. HILARIOUS!

Lady J

October 28th, 2009
2:20 pm

SexyCool enjoy the concert honey!!!! So wish I could be there!!!:( LOL

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
2:23 pm

LadyJ – It’s funny to hear the radio spots advertising the concert because the commercials are really heavy on the Eric Benet of it all. While MND and I are prepared to enjoy Mr. Benet AND Ledisi, it’s Mint Condition that has us both excited. LOL!

czBrat

October 28th, 2009
2:24 pm

@ SexyC & Ms. Main i’ve pretty much decided i’ll start bringing my laptop to work. that way i can FB & blog all i want no matter what restrictions they want to place on THEIR network.

Raqi my s/o tells me i no longer believe in love. i do admit i am not romantic. if i started giving him lustful glances and tender touches he’d think he was bout to die or something.

Lady J

October 28th, 2009
2:25 pm

SexyCool I am right with yall!!!!! Mint Condition all day honey!!!!!!!!!!! Sigh!!!!:( Have fun though!

Raqi...Feeling a Fever Coming On

October 28th, 2009
2:26 pm

Menfolk with it getting cold now, if you want to express a bit of spontaneous romance place a nice tender kiss on your lady’s neck while helping her put on her coat. Also whisper something cute in her ear.

Ms. Main

October 28th, 2009
2:33 pm

CZBrat – i’ve pretty much decided i’ll start bringing my laptop to work. that way i can FB & blog all i want no matter what restrictions they want to place on THEIR network.

There’s always a work around…lol

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
2:33 pm

Yes indeed Ms. Main, yes indeed.

@SCool ~ I actually liked the movie because I saw so much of how we lived back then. Especially the opening scene w/the kids playing “skellzee” in the middle of the street. I absolutely loved that game (2nd to dodgeball). Also identified withe scene where the mother came in from work waking the children up at 4:15 in the morning (whatever time it was) to re-wash the dishes and re-fold the clothes to her satisfaction. Goodness!

Melo

October 28th, 2009
2:36 pm

Also whisper something cute in her ear

As u plant the kiss on her neck,in shhhhhhhh tone,”u were on fire last nite” :lol:

Mo (aka Dr Seuss for the Day)

October 28th, 2009
2:38 pm

Lady J/SCool – ya’ll know I so ‘heart’ Mint Condition and hate that I will miss the concert. I will now be youtubing live footage of them for the rest of the day! :smile:

SCool – I thought I was THE ONLY person that didnt like Crooklyn! UGH!! Horrible

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
2:39 pm

Leggs – it seemed like I remember liking the movie the first time I saw it. As a date night movie, it was not a good choice at all. We didn’t even watch the whole movie.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
2:40 pm

It was a movie that was really about nothing. At all.

Lady J

October 28th, 2009
2:44 pm

Hey Mo…Swing by Monday for MNF @ the spot…lol the crew will be there…read between the lines….Can you believe I haven’t been there in 3 months…Monday will be a great time as I pray the Saints don’t kill us! LOL Hope to see ya!

Mo (aka Dr Seuss for the Day)

October 28th, 2009
2:49 pm

Lady J – AWWWW SHUCKS!! LOL! okay lemme see if the folks will watch Lil Mo and Im there chica! You know my in-laws (well former in laws) are talking much ish right now! And they are trying to convert my baby to a Saints Fan :mad:

Tazzee - Patience is a Virtue

October 28th, 2009
2:51 pm

Afternoon folks!

I’m also taking notes, but we do a lot of what was mentioned. But I think I’m going to do that scrapbook thing and give that to him as a wedding gift.

Crooklyn – LOVED.IT!!! I’m like Leggs, it was similar to my childhood. Many a dream has been disturbed to re-wash dishes so we wouldn’t get Tomaine (sp?) poisoning :lol: Oh and I’ve fallen asleep in front of a few plates because I didn’t want to eat what was before me – while my sister and step-brother were watching TV.

Concert – Eric Benet is who I REALLY want to see. I’m pretty sure I’ll fall in love with Mint Condition after the concert but I’ve never heard a full MI album. Oh and Ledisi is my girl! Eric Benet puts on a VERY sexy show ;-)

Lady J

October 28th, 2009
2:53 pm

Cool Mo! Peace Out!

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
2:53 pm

One of the older ladies here actually carries in her purse packs of those forehead thermometer strips. I didn’t think those still existed.

Tazzee - Patience is a Virtue

October 28th, 2009
2:53 pm

Ooh, just got the email that Kem, Will Downing and Kindred will be at the Fox on December 30. Now THAT will be a sexy concert.

SexyCool - Mint Condition Countdown - 3days...

October 28th, 2009
2:54 pm

Because of Crooklyn, I am banned from being able to choose the movie. However, because of a bad dining experience we had at this spot called Five Seasons Saturday night, he has banned himself from choosing where we eat out.

Dream_n

October 28th, 2009
2:55 pm

*Crooklyn*

Note to self.. pick up movie!

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
2:56 pm

he has banned himself…

LOL

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
2:59 pm

@SCool ~ didn’t need that visual…too funny!

@Tazzee ~ hot damn, I’m going to that concert even if I have to go alone! (Note to self: make sure if sitting next to a couple, sit next to the woman)! J/K…not really!

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
3:02 pm

Do you guys have any idea how far “just whisper something in her ear or kiss her on her neck before she leaves for the day” will last a woman’s mind. It can make some go in the bathroom and touch themselves until actual contact can be made. Words are powerful (LOL).

Mo (aka Dr Seuss for the Day)

October 28th, 2009
3:02 pm

Tazzee – thanks for the heads up on that concert!! Thats going to be hott!

Now did you actually say you NEVER have heard a complete MC cd???? Mo is know passing the h3ll out…..

Raqi...Present Temp 100.4

October 28th, 2009
3:04 pm

It can make some go in the bathroom and touch themselves until actual contact can be made.

Leggs you owe me for the cleaners bill for my suit and to retype some forms. I spit lemon tea reading that. You totally surprised me with that one. LOL

Leggs

October 28th, 2009
3:05 pm

@Tazzee, I too have sat sleepy-eyed at the dinner table only to be smacked on the top of my head with a newspaper making me eat those cold veggies. To this day, will not eat peas and carrots, peas nor sting beans!

Dream_n

October 28th, 2009
3:05 pm

Leggs

WOW!!!!!

czBrat

October 28th, 2009
3:08 pm

It can make some go in the bathroom and touch themselves until actual contact can be made.

Leggs the brat is officially sticking her fingers in her ears, shutting her eyes tight and singing to herself. gotta find my happy place!