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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Tattoos, Cigarettes, & Shoes

I recently had dinner with a group of friends when the topic of dating came up.  One of the men mentioned how he was finding it hard to meet lady-like women.  I challenged him on this because I know plenty of lady-like women who are sophisticated and classy.  How is it that he manages to not to meet them in Atlanta?

He tells me that a lot of women have an image of sophistication but when you get a closer look, they have tattoos and they smoke, which apparently isn’t lady-like behavior at all.  I’m sure we all have our preferences in dating, but do you think judging a person by their tattoos and smoking habits is fair?

I think it goes deeper then judging a book by its cover.  One of the women at the table said that she actually checks out a man’s shoes. When I asked her what a person’s shoes says about them, she said that it lets you know how much they care about appearance. Now, what does that have to do with character? She never truly correlated the two, in my opinion.

I have said it before, but we have ridiculous reasons for ruling out a potential mate. Are tattoos, smoking, and shoes legitimate reasons to pass on someone? What is the most superficial, ridiculous reason you dumped someone? Have you changed your ways since then? Do you still rule people out because of something somewhat trivial?

569 comments Add your comment

Ms. Main

October 23rd, 2009
2:30 pm

IWLDLIKE2DATE… If you speak casually slang and ghetto it’s going to eventually come out in your business – especially if you speak with out thinking.

Disagree…you can get laid back and relaxed and never lose your intelligence.

IWLDLIKE2DATE

October 23rd, 2009
2:31 pm

MsM

October 23rd, 2009
2:33 pm

IWLDLIKE2DATE..

S/O is 52 and is very handsome (too me), and looks younger than most his junior. I’ve always been attracted to older men starting back at 18, then BF was 26. Me and S/O need to stay together because after looking at the dating websites men his age and older I think, damm I’ll be doomed if we don’t make it.

Dream_n

October 23rd, 2009
2:34 pm

you can get laid back and relaxed and never lose your intelligence

Co-sign.. i agree

Ms. Main

October 23rd, 2009
2:36 pm

Leggs @IWL2D, are you one of the kids from “Children of the Corn” all grown up?

Now that was funny…mainly because I’ve never seen that flick (the series rather) until a couple of weekends ago. Was bumming around on a Saturday I think they showed the original and a couple, I guess COTC 2/3

Melo

October 23rd, 2009
2:40 pm

Dream_n

you can get laid and relaxed and never lose your intelligence

Oh dannmn,Really??? :lol:

Let the afternoon freak show begin! :lol:

Blue_Kolla

October 23rd, 2009
2:40 pm

Main So, appreciate your body and work with what you got.

That’s what I’m always telling women, “Work with what’chu got, and throw all’at fake shyt out the windown.”

Leggs

October 23rd, 2009
2:41 pm

@Ms Main, I watched it twice growning up and saw it on the guide. Flipped to it and when I saw the cornfields I immediately turn to another channel. I can’t do horror/scary flicks of any kind anymore.

IWLDLIKE2DATE

October 23rd, 2009
2:41 pm

What is Children of the corn about?

Professor is.....

October 23rd, 2009
2:44 pm

@Melo you strike me as a BMW 745 type of guy

@Elijah thanks for the roses…you never told me your age

@IWLD I am just saying…girl you read funny sometimes

@Leggs now I know a few people from NY that does not have the accent anymore

Leggs

October 23rd, 2009
2:44 pm

It’s about wayward children terrorizing the community and living in the cornfields. Their eyes would become eerily translucent (I think), and they were simply mean little brats (to say it mildly).

Ms. Main

October 23rd, 2009
2:44 pm

Blue – I figure if I appreciate it, why wouldn’t you….you know?

Leggs – It’s sooo funny because I’ve NEVER been one to watch scary movies but I’m finding myself taking in the first 15 minutes and then I’ll chanel jump because I cannot endure the entire movie straight through. I’m even tell my daugther, hey there’s a scary movie on….lol

Leggs

October 23rd, 2009
2:47 pm

I know some people born and raised there and never acquired the NY accent. My boss feels like I have a northern accent, just not one from the Bronx. That’s rich coming from someone born and reared in Mississippi then moving to Georgia all the while never living anywhere near the 5 boroughs!!

IWLDLIKE2DATE

October 23rd, 2009
2:49 pm

@Leggs – to answer your question no I am not. However I was raised in a little town in georgia.

Leggs

October 23rd, 2009
2:49 pm

Hell, the sight of those cornfields makes me want to bite my nails while hiding under the covers. I was truly surprised to see it on tv about 2 weeks ago. They went way in the back of the vault for that one!

Dream_n

October 23rd, 2009
2:50 pm

Ladies what body type are you guys into… We know the males enjoy the ample booty.. nice rack (rack lmao!) thick thighs… skinny waist… for the most part.. some may not..

Are you into the slim and tall… short and buff….tall and buff… Do you guys enjoy a lil meat or is that a turn off???

William

October 23rd, 2009
2:51 pm

Judging a book by its cover will get you two babies and a divorce. Look at all the single parents out there! So much for the chemistry.

Dream_n

October 23rd, 2009
2:51 pm

smh @ Melo’s 2:41…

Ms. Main

October 23rd, 2009
2:53 pm

A kumbaya and blog hug for William…hugs

IWLDLIKE2DATE

October 23rd, 2009
2:53 pm

Does not matter to me as long as he is taller than me and is a male. Right now I wouldn’t mind dating a white guy. I was just at the water cooler and this young white tender walked up with his collard shirt and I asked him which dept you work for. Those baby blues had me mesmerized.

Ms. Main

October 23rd, 2009
2:57 pm

IWLDLIKE2DATE – Right now I wouldn’t mind dating a white guy I was just at the water cooler and this young white tender walked up with his collard shirt and I asked him which dept you work for. Those baby blues had me mesmerized.

OMG – Maybe not funny but I laughed. I couldn’t answer my phone after that one…

MsM

October 23rd, 2009
2:58 pm

Like 5′10, 210-230lbs. (yes, a little meat on him) Loved him at 230lbs, and even more at 210 lbs.

S/O has lost about 20 lbs, he feels better… not so tired, back hurting, etc.

SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.

October 23rd, 2009
2:59 pm

Before I met MND, I would have said that a dude HAD to be at least two inches taller than me and in shape physically. (In fact, have said that MANY times right here on this blog.)

MND is the exact same height as me and LOVES it when I wear heels and am taller than he is when we go out. (It’s funny. He is a guy that is really notices women’s shoes. He likes my CGM’s (Come Get Me’s) best of all.) I’m taking him with me the next time I go shoe shopping.

He is also a little bit chunky. But um, yeah…whatever, he doesn’t have to lose an ounce. I’m crazy about him just the way he is.

I say all the time – I was looking for Idris Elba and found Joe Clair instead. ~LOL~

And what a great find he has turned out to be.

Melo

October 23rd, 2009
3:00 pm

thick thighs… skinny waist…

u were on the right track but thick thighs??? ugh ughh,naw!

thighs are thighs,but they gotta be proprtional to the body…i mean,if uall fleshed up and fat ‘tween the thighs so much so that i cant get to the real deal??

whats the point??
and make sure that belly is tight or reduced in size.
No point looking prego when u last gave birth 5 years ago.
Cut it down on carbos when u go to the resteaurant.

A woman sitting down at the table with a mound of food in her plate,resembling mt. everest/rushmore and whose apetite for food is greater than that for sex, is not a cool look! :lol: She gets out the restearaunt door,full, and staggering with a big belly, like john abraham who jus got a hit,thats not right.

IWLDLIKE2DATE

October 23rd, 2009
3:02 pm

@Ms Main – he did – that guy knows he is one handsome white guy. I usually don’t notice many white males because I just don’t. Every time I see him when I come to work he has on his Brooks Brothers jacket and dressed all prep and all I can do is stare when I pass by him in the morning. I wonder if he wears brute!!!LOL

Nonya

October 23rd, 2009
3:04 pm

@ Dream_n – I like bigger men…5′10 or more and at least 215 lbs. I know it’s a mental thing but hugs (and some other stuff) just feels better if it’s got some weight behind it.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

October 23rd, 2009
3:04 pm

Hello Professor! I have some roses for you! When do you want them?

Eli I’m ready to sign them papers ’cause we through…..how you gone cheat on me right in my face?….

Right now I wouldn’t mind dating a white guy I was just at the water cooler and this young white tender walked up with his collard shirt and I asked him which dept you work for. Those baby blues had me mesmerized.

I’ve thought about it….that’s as far as I’ve gotten,though…..but I am curious to know what it’s like.

M. (pronouned M dot)

October 23rd, 2009
3:05 pm

@Anotha Brotha

Great list!

Another we should add to the WOMEN list is the Attention Seekers. They have to be seen and heard, etc.

Another we should add to the MEN list of our counterparts are the know it all’s who cant be taught anything.

Angie aka Beautiful

October 23rd, 2009
3:05 pm

this topic must be jus for fun, huh? gotta be. cause the regulars have ripped me a new one about being picky. i give a ^5 to all the list of turn offs listed previously. i would like to add sloppy dresser, a unclean shave, and walkin’ around lookin’ like you need a hair cut.

i would love to date a white man, but no swag what so ever. can’t do it.

happy friday folks!

KW

October 23rd, 2009
3:06 pm

I agree that tattoos and shoes may be superficial reasons to rule someone out, but smoking? Smoking can kill you. When I date, I want at least the possibility of a long-term relationship, and I do not want to be in a long-term relationship with someone who is in the process of slowly killing himself and in the process endangering my health through second hand smoke.

Mac

October 23rd, 2009
3:06 pm

I know many of you have been worried about me. I’m now having an extramarital affair with a beautiful woman I men through work. Don’t ever want to go another decade without love in all its emotional and physical forms.

Angie aka Beautiful

October 23rd, 2009
3:08 pm

lmao. why is everyone using fake monikers? shoot, imma make me one up then.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

October 23rd, 2009
3:09 pm

Are you into the slim and tall… short and buff….tall and buff… Do you guys enjoy a lil meat or is that a turn off???

I’m every bit of 5″3′ and I looove em big and tall….I like it when it comes to cuddling,hugging(it’s like the room gets dark)and the obvious. When I say big I’m not talking teddy bear fluffy big cause that’s not my style but I like muscles n such….I want muscles….all over my bawdy

SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.

October 23rd, 2009
3:10 pm

KW – I get what you’re saying, but, really….we’re all dying a day a time anyway. ~lol~

I love that line from The Shawshank Redemption – “You can get busy living or you can get busy dying.”

IWLDLIKE2DATE

October 23rd, 2009
3:10 pm

@Melo – Dang – I was about to get a second helping on some caramel popcorn that one of my coworkers has on her desk. I am rethinking the Abram look now.

Angie aka Beautiful

October 23rd, 2009
3:11 pm

@Sassy
glad to see that they didnt run you off. :o ) have a fab w/e!

Dream_n

October 23rd, 2009
3:11 pm

lol @ dating a white guy..

There are still guys… just white.
Some of them do have swagga I tell ya…. I like the ones that are themselves and don’t try to be like “me” just b/c they are around my peeps!

As for the body type.. I love me some extra meat! Tall with extra meat is a big turn on.. When I was a teenager I used to go for the skinny and slim… but now..

Give me a 35-40 yr old guy, about 5′10 5′11 with a little meat on them splash on some curve, with white pearls, faded right..!!! AHHHH I would be in heaven!!!

add in a little italian/spanish!!!
Hot DARN!!!!

Mac

October 23rd, 2009
3:13 pm

MET through work. Don’t go there.

Melo

October 23rd, 2009
3:13 pm

and some other stuff) just feels better if it’s got some weight behind it.

in porn movies,ive seen guys weigh down the females by the groin,then pin her down real hard with 2 hands as they dig deep inside the chic.

u like it like that Nonya

(i see uall females getting the visual and angie,getting a lil wet) :lol:

Dream_n

October 23rd, 2009
3:15 pm

….I want muscles….all over my bawdy

They way you wrote BAWDY reminds me of that Martin stand up he did… talking about “water glistening all over your BAWDY”!!!

Thanx Sassy I think I’m going to make it a comedy night!

IWLDLIKE2DATE

October 23rd, 2009
3:15 pm

Ok back to the young tender around the corner from me. I would date a white guy he would just have to be real secure with an interracial relationship. People don’t realize you still get some hate from both races so I would need a partner that wouldn’t shrink back from that and can handle it. Ex. I was at an event and saw a white guy married to this black woman you could see how uncomfortable he was. He was the only white person there though. I don’t know if the atmosphere made him uncomfortable or what but I looked at him and he was trying to shrink in his seat not to be noticed. I can’t have that. You have to be comfortable in your own skin wherever we are. Because I definitely will.

MR. Unknown

October 23rd, 2009
3:17 pm

@SexyCool Wow, How wide is your nose right now…Its wide open!! LOl.. But its a good look,, People can hear the honesty in your voice or through your words… Taking him shoe shopping mmmmm I don’t know about that one… And If he does go, three pair limit…

SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.

October 23rd, 2009
3:21 pm

Mr. Unknown – Fortunately, so is he.

There is nothing worse than trying to tango and finding yourself on the dance floor alone.

IWLDLIKE2DATE

October 23rd, 2009
3:22 pm

@ Melo – Please don’t get me started. I was doing so well.

IWLDLIKE2DATE

October 23rd, 2009
3:23 pm

@Sexy Cool And Dreamin – Are you females or males?

Dream_n

October 23rd, 2009
3:23 pm

Where’s Swiss & RAndyt when you need em!!! lol

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

October 23rd, 2009
3:24 pm

Thanx Sassy I think I’m going to make it a comedy night!

You know what I’m thinking the same thing Dream…or at least it’s gonna start off as comedy ;)

Have a good weekend blog fam!! :)

Dream_n

October 23rd, 2009
3:24 pm

IWLDLIKE2DATE

I’ll let you take a guess…

SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.

October 23rd, 2009
3:25 pm

Just found out from a co-worker that Shthead texted her several times asking about me last night.

Apparently, someone mentioned to him that they had seen me out recently.

Sad and hilarious at the same time.

SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.

October 23rd, 2009
3:26 pm

Do I read like a dude?