Great Expectations
Unrealistic expectations can set you for a big let down in dating. A lot of times, we go in to a situation seeking out a companion and heap all these desires in one person. When the person appears to let you down, we use this as an excuse not to try again.
I think men and women both have trouble with unrealistic expectations. Women expect to go on a few dates and the man will see how fabulous she is and instantly try to have a relationship. Men expect that when they take the time and money to ask a woman out, she needs to show him it’s worthwhile for him to continue to do so. Some guys think this includes sexual favors, others want the husband treatment. The things that men who are in a marriage receive, they expect to see in a dating relationship.
The thing about expectations? We rarely ever tell the person what they are. We have discussions and imply and infer them but explicitly saying them outright is simply not normal dating practice. Why is that? Is it because we know that saying them out loud will make us sound slightly wonky?
Really? You expect a man to commit because he thinks you are hot and have a education? Seriously? You expect a woman to cook and sex you up when you have issues with letting her stay at your house by herself?
What do you think are the expectations that we have in dating that set us up for letdowns?
How do we stop having them? What great expectations for dating do you have and are they realistic?
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299 comments Add your comment
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
8:43 am
GM All!
Really? You expect a man to commit because he thinks you are hot and have a education? Seriously? You expect a woman to cook and sex you up when you have issues with letting her stay at your house by herself?
LOL. That is just toooo funny! As for expectations, I guess I just see that as each person’s standard. What’s wrong with setting your standard as to what you want in a mate? If time and repeated attempts prove your standard may be unattainable, then you can make the decision to alter it. Otherwise, seek what suits you.
Are my expectations too great because I seek good hygiene, grammer, manners, faith, education, humor, loyalty, honesty, communication and responsibility? I dunno, but that’s what I have to offer so why not expect (at least) as much?
Nonya
October 22nd, 2009
8:48 am
@ czBrat: I totally agree. I neither expect nor require anything of my companion that I myself am not ready, willing, and able to give.
ImAPeach404
October 22nd, 2009
8:54 am
I expect dudes to KEEP doing what they start out doing. And that, my friends, is where I get myself in trouble!
Rectal bleeding
October 22nd, 2009
8:56 am
I find that too many live in a fantasy world created by movies and TV. My experiences seem to be all the women want to date a Richard Gere character. They set their standards to a level that is not attainable. Even Richard Gere is not Richard Gere. I’m not saying he is a bad person, but he is not the characters he portrays in movies. Neither are all the men in the world.
Get past the fantasy ladies and you will find some decent guys out there.
Lady J
October 22nd, 2009
9:00 am
Such a real issue WD….I’m laughing inside bc I’m guilty!!!! LOL I am truly learning just to date and let it happen….non-verbals are key and going extra slow meaning not pressed for convo, going out, etc…I have founded my self going 200 miles in the start but truly have halted the desperate like behavior…I am seeing the chase is fun and it is an order…slow motion and the rest will follow if it is suppose to…just my inner thoughts…lol
Lady J
October 22nd, 2009
9:06 am
Rectal Bleeding sooo true!!!! I am right now wanting to see Spider Man 3, followed by Love Jones, and Brown Sugar for particular romatic scenes to live it out in my mind!!!! LOL soooo true!!! LMAO!!!
Tazzee - boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
October 22nd, 2009
9:26 am
Morning All!
I had great expectations of seeing Paul Mooney last night…
On topic – I’m like czBrat – I don’t expect anything outrageous. I haven’t had those movie/fantasyland expectations since I was in my mid-20s. Like ImAPeach404 – consistency is key. I expect a man to be consistent and do what he says he’s going to do. AND if I tell a man on the first date that I’m not a casual dater, but that I date for marriage. I expect him NOT to cop an attitude when I don’t want to enter into a FWB relationship. I expect that when a man tells me he’s not seeing anyone, that I won’t get a call from his fiancee…
Whew! I’m SO glad I’m off the market
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
9:35 am
Good Morning All:
There is nothing wrong with HIGH STANDARDS, however the problem comes in when you have high standards for yourself and demand greatness from yourself, and try to bestow this on others. Everybody does not want to be great! You have people that make it through life doing just enough to get by, and guess what they are doing just enough in relationships too.
Well I have come to grips with this and I still have high standards and expectations for me, but I allow reasonable expectations for others. That means the past is the best indicator for the future. Example if I go out with a guy and he is late, tells me he is not really a romantic and talks about his job all the time. Well that is what I expect from him and I don’t get mad when he does not bring me roses etc. Now, I know some guys start out being one way and change on you, but red flags are usually there.
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
9:37 am
Hey Tazzee,
I take it the show did not go well, I hope I am wrong. Did you get your lemon pepper wings?
For Real
October 22nd, 2009
9:48 am
Dude: Hey pillow sweater can you make me a sandwich like the one you made two weeks ago?
Chick: Hold on pound bunny, you trying to get the “Husband Experience”
Dude: The what?
Chick: Yeah, I can see what you doing
Dude: Huh? I like the sandwich made for me last time.
Chick: I bet you did! I ain’t falling for the okie!
Dude: WTF!
Chick: You want me to treat you like we married. I want me to cook and clean without ring. Sex and impress without the wedding dress. That ain’t happen potnah!
Dude: So, I want the “Husband Exprience” huh? Lets see I don’t date or sex unless it’s with you, I pay for everything whenever we go out, I fixed your car, I pay for the insurance on the car, I cut your grass, I listen to you when while you ramble on about how every single chick at your office building is jealous of you, I got your lazy ass sister a job, I paid for your blood pressure pills, I bought you the lastest go to have pocket-book, I paid to have your lights turned back on, and I give you gas money every week! Wait a minute…. Dayumm I’m already getting the “Husband Experience”!!! All that ish and I can’t get fuggin sandwich and sex on regular basis!!
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
9:50 am
So, IMO great expectations should be reasonable expectations.
I remember when I was 20 I dated this guy that was 7 years older than me. We were standing outside in his complex when he said I know I cannot be any good right now to anybody, because I need to get some stuff in order: reliable car, repair credit, career etc. When I drove off and reflected on the conversation I knew my expectations for him…me…us were too great, and I dumped him a few months later.
M. (pronounced M dot)
October 22nd, 2009
9:53 am
Good topic WD. I label myself as a progressive dater. I always have the expectation that all the other dates were good but they did not work out so to me it means failure. My issue is that I always expect the next date/woman to be better than the last and make this one a success, which is not always true. Sometimes they could end up being worse.
I think what REALLY sets us up for failure is not being honest with ourselves and expecting what we see on tv, hear from our friends, and our own interpretations of what a great dating situation/relationship is and how we are going to get there. I am personally not lowering my standards and expectations, but also not going into a situation expecting to get married that same night. I am just going in and we will see what happens. We stop having them by just relaxing and taking the pressure off ourselves! That’s what dating is, getting to know someone.
Grammar King
October 22nd, 2009
9:57 am
It’s kind of ironic that when you mention having an education, you make a basic grammar mistake, Wise Diva. It’s “an education” not “a education.”
Just doing my job as the Grammar King. I won’t even begin to help out with the individual blog comments, though.
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
10:00 am
@ M dot I totally agree with that 9:53. Expecting the Hollywood, Soap Opera affair is not being realistic, nor is expecting your man to do what a guy did for you 10 years ago. I think it all boils down to reasonable expectations.
Tazzee - boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
October 22nd, 2009
10:00 am
Professor – I didn’t even get in the place. Apparently they gave out too many comp and discount tickets. The thing is, my friends and I were going to pay for the tickets but got free ones when my friend went to see Jay Anthony Brown on Friday. So they had this long line of folks that had comp and discount tix. Show was supposed to start at 8pm. At 8:15 the guy comes out and tells us that they’re waiting for the 225 ppl that bought tickets to get their VIP seats first. That the joint seat 400 and that we’ll definitely get in – please be patient. BUT, if we wanted to pay we could get in. At this point we’re probably around 50 in line, so we decide to wait. Next thing we know – we hear Paul Mooney on stage!!!
We left, but since we already paid $15 for parking
we went to have dinner at Utopia.
After dinner we saw a line 2 blocks deep for the 10pm show – we wanted to yell out the window and tell those folks they wouldn’t get in…
Dan
October 22nd, 2009
10:01 am
“That’s what dating is, getting to know someone.” – M Dot
Yeah, this ^ is soooo true.
I’d like to add, though, that in getting to know someone [else], know yourself too.
I realized early on that dating is about that “give and take” or rather: reciprocity. When I’m in something and givng of myself with no concessions returned to accomodate the kid, it’s time to be out.
Knowing and being comfortable with who I am as a person (and who I’m growing to be) gives me comfort and strength to relay that to a potential mate. At the point that I’ve stated my capacities, she has informed consent, to proceed accordingly.
I’ve said it here before folks, our expectations have nothing to do with reality. When we [each] learn to deal with life as it is, it makes people, place, situations, and things much more managable.
Oh, good morning.
Tazzee - boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
October 22nd, 2009
10:02 am
M dot whatever happened with the date and the game? Did you take her?
Professor they did have lemon pepper wings at Utopia but I didn’t cave. I’m saving them for the game Sunday.
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
10:14 am
I’ve lowered my standards at a pivotal moment in my life when I shouldn’t have. I wasn’t aware that I was operating on a “short list” of expectations. Some lessons are learned the hard way.
All I can do now is expect the same as I give. czB and Nonya said it best. Done deal!
@ForReal, that was cute. Any man that does all that and his woman squeals like a pig (complain), it’s time to look for another woman.
@Tazzee ~ sorry to hear about you not being able to get in. I’ve been there once and the food, at best, is substandard. If I ever venture there again, will definitely eat first!
M. (pronounced M dot)
October 22nd, 2009
10:14 am
@Professor is…..
You are right. I remember when Love Jones, Why Did I Get Married, and all these other movies came out, people were trying to mold their relationships and experiences to be like these movies.
@Dan
I agree with you to. If you are always giving and you feel like you are on a realty show to try to impress her to win her over, its time to bounce.
@Tazzee – boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
Another friend ended up coming and we all had a great weekend. What happened with the comedy corner? Did they say yall had a table or that you couldnt sit down unless you ordered $50 or more of food and drinks?
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
10:17 am
All I expect is the guy to call when he says he is going to call. If you say within a few minutes it needs to be within a few minutes. I am tired of checking my phone every two minutes or wondering what your doing. I am a beautiful, successful, spiritual, independent woman doing her thing. I want someone doing the same. No half stepping allowed here.
P.S. **I am still wondering why the guy who says he is not ready for me will be married in a year. Was is it me or him?***
For Real
October 22nd, 2009
10:18 am
The problem with expectations is that it is filled with that person’s prospectives. Remember everything is relative including success. So set expectations with a grain of salt.
M.: Excellent post.. Dating is suppose to be a fun activity not an interrogation. That’s why I give all the pertinent info in the first date and my only expectation is to have fun. If I’m not having fun I leave.
Tazzee: Dayummm!!! And they will be asking themselves what happened when they are closed.
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
10:18 am
Tazzee i was in the 8pm line!!! we got there kinda late and were so far in the back that we knew it wouldnt be worth hoping for seats. i”m soooooo disappointed
sorry you didn’t get to enjoy the show. very glad you still had a good time with your friends.
M. (pronounced M dot)
October 22nd, 2009
10:21 am
@Tazzee – boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
“I expect that when a man tells me he’s not seeing anyone, that I won’t get a call from his fiancee…”
I know you said you date for marriage, but what if the guy is cool but not at that stage yet and tell’s you he is dating, how do you respond or you guys can’t deal with each other?
For Real
October 22nd, 2009
10:21 am
IWLDLIKE2DATE = A wolf pack of 1
Dan
October 22nd, 2009
10:25 am
Wait?
Not trying to start a fight but how does:
“I am a beautiful, successful, spiritual, independent woman doing her thing.”
=
“I am tired of checking my phone every two minutes or wondering what your doing.”
Really?
Please elaborate….
2CPTG
October 22nd, 2009
10:25 am
’sup folks……I expect alotta shyt, I ain’t gon’ lie!
I expect if we’ve planned to go out, you be ontime..
I expect if YOU ask for the date, you gon’ pay!
I expect if YOU invite me over afterhours, it’s goin’ down!
I expect if you say we’re just friends, then don’t you expect more..
I expect if you give me your number you gon’ answer the phone…
Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)
October 22nd, 2009
10:26 am
Tazz I’m waiting for Sunday’s game,too….my brother is a die hard Dallas fan and I’m going for the home team so we gone have us a beer drankin,wing eatin good time.
On topic: I don’t have unrealistic expectations for men b/c I don’t want any placed on me. The only thing I expect/want is reciprocity between he and I….since I’m still not dating right now this time alone gives me the space to realize who I am,what I want and what I have to offer to another should that situation arise. A woman knows how a man feels about her by the way he treats her and vice versa.
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
10:27 am
@IWL2D, you’re a little twisted. Are you on this blog for entertainment?
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
10:29 am
Good Morning All
If I expect to get 100%, I believe I need to be giving 100%.
I can’t ask for more than I am willing to give, it just seems unfair. If I ask him to go get me a tune/up and he does.. is it so hard for me to return a favor if he asks me….
Some women/men want a man/woman to do XYZ, but are not willing to do XYZ in return. You can’t walk around thinking your sh!t don’t stink and everyone owes beacause you belive you’re a great catch. That mind set will get you put in the corner alone!
Nothing wrong with having high expectations in a mate that YOU have to spend your time with, but also bring something to the table other than a nice face.
Is it so bad to want a guy with his own apt, own car,career, education, morals, and all that other good stuff…. Now I don’t think that’s too much to ask for… Hell that’s just the basics of being a man
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
10:29 am
@For Real & Dan – Yes sometimes I am anxious. I have always been the type to go after what I wanted to make it happen. I tackled high school, college, first full time job, moving to another city from a small town, practically everything in my life I’m on it. So yes it spills over into my dating.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)
October 22nd, 2009
10:30 am
2CP I’m liking that 10:25….especially the after hours invite…
Demiwhere you at,yo?
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
10:31 am
@ Leggs – No I am not twisted. Just naturally anxious.
2CPTG
October 22nd, 2009
10:32 am
how many of y’all are REALLY willing to tell the truth? if you ain’t expecting “nothing”, then what ya dating for? c’mon, keep it 100, we all expect something, if not, we’d all stay at home and watch T.V.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)
October 22nd, 2009
10:33 am
**I am still wondering why the guy who says he is not ready for me will be married in a year. Was is it me or him?***
Sounds like he wasn’t ready for YOU or may’ve thought you were too much for him(not in a bad way) or mayge you were outta his league….I’m jus’sayin…
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
10:35 am
Are my expectations too great because I seek good hygiene, grammer, manners, faith, education, humor, loyalty, honesty, communication and responsibility? I dunno, but that’s what I have to offer so why not expect (at least) as much?
Amen CZBrat
IWLDLIKE2DATE….girl, what’s the problem? You’re thinking too much about what you don’t have. Get busy doing something, heck anything…shopping is a good way to kill some time. Too much time maybe? Stop looking and thinking about it. It will happen then.
Grammar King…what’s wrong? Huh?
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
10:36 am
@Sassy – He is working at Wendys part time on the grill and I am an analyst. So maybe that was it. I don’t know.
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
10:37 am
Some guys think this includes sexual favors
WISE..u really funny with that statement!
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
10:38 am
2CPTG
Your 10:25 funny but true
HARLEY GUY
October 22nd, 2009
10:41 am
I DONT GIT IT I DRIVE A NICE CAR(MUSTANG) AND A HARLEY YET I HAVE TROUBLE DATING ONE WOMEN TOLD ME I NEED 2 MOVE OUT OF MY PARENTS HOME BUT THEN I CANT AFORD HARLEY AND STANG I THINK WOMEN JUST WANT 2 MUCH.
For Real
October 22nd, 2009
10:42 am
Dream: “Is it so bad to want a guy with his own apt, own car,career, education, morals, and all that other good stuff” – No it’s not too much to ask for but here where a person’s prospective come into play:
Own apt – Is Perry Homes ok?
Own car – How’s a 73 Gremlin that he has to open the passenger side from the inside
Career – Does 14 yrs as a Stamp & Envelope licker count
Education – Graduate from High School
Morals – I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bumpin & grindin
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
10:42 am
Ok, IWL2D, because you’re answers are in your posts. You’re too eager. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t playing around here. Re-read some of the things you type. You already know you’re a stalker, which isn’t good. Just tone it down a bit. If someone says they’re call and they don’t, don’t fret! Still sounds like a comedy bit.
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
10:45 am
I’ve been there once and the food, at best, is substandard.
Thats not even ur best Leggs.Food there is atrocious! The whole place inside is rotten anyway! Stinky,sticklin tables…ouwwwwww..im throwing eep(up)!
2CPTG
October 22nd, 2009
10:45 am
Dream_n, wasn’t trynna be funny, but seriously, everyone has some level of expectations…you ain’t gon’ tell me when y’all go out it’s simply to have a good time; alotta y’all Expect somebody to approach you! And dudes EXPECT to holla at a female……hell, I do! Ain’t gon’ lie, when I step out, I expect shyt to happen!
Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)
October 22nd, 2009
10:47 am
IWLD sounds like maybe he did think you were outta his league or that he was outta his….either way you’ll find him don’t press…..it’ll soon come. That being said, don’t settle.
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
10:50 am
@Leggs – I love to laugh. Family trait. It comes out sometimes.
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
10:52 am
Heck, I expect EVERYTHING!
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
10:52 am
Heck, I expect EVERYTHING!
Dan
October 22nd, 2009
10:57 am
@Melo
I found comedy in that part of it as well.
@Iwld
You may need some prozac, xanxax, or a release of hormonal pressure.
That you “tackled” the events you name in life doesn’t make you “anxious” it’s made you exitable and self-congratulatory. More than anything, realize that (in the larger scheme of the world) your climb wasn’t as steep as some; or a easy as others.
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
10:57 am
@ For Real
smh… Then I must be shallow, cause none of that won’t work for me…
Damn do you have to play the devils advocate on err thang
@2CPTG
“you ain’t gon’ tell me when y’all go out it’s simply to have a good time;”
I’m going to have to oppose you on this one! When I go out it is for me to have a good time with the girls!
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
10:59 am
Haaaaaaaaa, I was trying to be nice. I was surprised over the setup when I got inside. It looks like a fire trap. My tickets were free and I didn’t have to stand in line. I was curious about the hype over Uptown and wanted to see. Although I’m openminded, all the jokes about a person’s “honey pot” and “dip stick” were ridiculous at best.
@HarleyGuy, please meet IWldLk2Date….
When I go out, I expect a guy to notice me and speak to me. Doesn’t always happen, but it is an expectation of mine.
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
11:00 am
Well maybe I can work with the education/career….
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
11:01 am
IWLDLIKE2DATE – He is working at Wendys part time on the grill and I am an analyst. So maybe that was it. I don’t know.
Some things you won’t EVA get the answers. Let it go. You’re pinpointing careers but he could very well be happy where he is and not be phased or willing to deal with shanigans. Some of the things you mentioned displays stalker tendencies. Heck he can make a buck an hour but if your ragging and bugging him, he’ll pass on your 100.00 an hour to his 1.00 an hour.
Own apt – Is Perry Homes ok?
Own car – How’s a 73 Gremlin that he has to open the passenger side from the inside
Career – Does 14 yrs as a Stamp & Envelope licker count
Education – Graduate from High School
Morals – I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bumpin & grindin
pure comedy OMG…I didn’t know folks on here knew about Perry Homes…
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
11:01 am
@Leggs good question on that 10:27…I am getting ready to order a straight jacket in a minute if this mess don’t cease
@Tazzee Ahh man, I hate that…Am, I wrong to eat lemon pepper wings again on Sunday for the game?
@ IWLDLIKE2DATE- girl calm yo azz down YOU are scaring these mens and I did the ‘’s” on purpose! :green:
@Harley Guy…maybe it’s the Ford…GM rules
Tazzee - boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
October 22nd, 2009
11:01 am
czBrat – yeah, that was pretty foul how they did that. They could have at least come out when he got on stage and said they weren’t letting anyone else in. What tripped me out was dude said that they would only wait another 10 minutes for the VIP folks and then they’d start letting the other line in. We got caught up talking and it was freaking 30 minutes later when we left. They did start letting folks in because we got close to the door. Close enough to realize that Paul was already on!
M dot – If a guy told me that he wasn’t marriage-minded then I’d suggest that we just be friends. No use in falling for someone when we’re on two different paths.
HEY 2CPTG!!!
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
11:02 am
4th time tring to post – perhaps a little re-wording will get past the psychotic filter.
Haaaaaaaaa, I was trying to be nice. I was surprised over the setup when I got inside. It looks like a fire trap. My tickets were free, and I didn’t have to stand in line. I wanted to see for myself what the hype was about Uptown. Although I’m openminded, all the jokes about a person’s “honey pot” and “dip stick” were crazy at best.
@HarleyGuy, please meet IWldLk2Date….
When I go out, I expect a guy to notice me. Doesn’t always happen, but that is one of my expectations.
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
11:02 am
Shenanigans….
MR. Unknown
October 22nd, 2009
11:03 am
I have a new approach in dating.. I like putting a disclaimer out there before dating.. I have no expectations of the person that Im dating, for at least a few months. Simple is better… Morning
abc
October 22nd, 2009
11:03 am
The thing about unmet expectations is that to change the pattern of undesirable results, one must change what the actions that brought the results. Examine your own behavior, stop choosing the same kinds of potential mates. Otherwise, you can expect to get the same results over and over.
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
11:03 am
Harley Guy…sell your Mustang and Harley and get your own place. That will make your stock rise…having your own place that is…
Leggs @HarleyGuy, please meet IWldLk2Date…. lol
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
11:05 am
@Professor, something just isn’t right. Grown women acting like that and pondering what’s wrong has one of my eyebrows raised (and I don’t have any eyebrows)!!!
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
11:06 am
You already know you’re a stalker, which isn’t good. Just tone it down a bit
CORRECTION: Tone…turn that ish off right now! It is scary reading it so imagine what is happening in-person when both the verbal and non-verbal communication is factored in. IMO dude only sees a modern day clip of “One Who Flew Over the Coo Coo Nest.” If you do not have the social skills you may want to reach out to some professional service aka counseling to get things in order…the stalking…not being able to handle a kiss…checking your phone every two minutes is not good, sweetie. Just think even if you get married that junk can end by the YARD (courtyard or graveyard) so you need skills to handle life in a this setting. GOTIT?
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
11:10 am
Professor
Thank you to your 11:06…
I hope it’s juss being said for entertainment purposes.. cause it’s scary thinking my bro can meet a woman with those tendencies… lmao!
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
11:10 am
So what I am taking from these posts which seem to be unanimous is Calm my _____ down. Thats a lot knowing my personality.
@ Dan with my background yes those were hurdles for me that took a lot to accomplish. So yes it was a very long and steep climb for me.
East Point's Own
October 22nd, 2009
11:13 am
If you tell a person what your expectations are, too soon you never know if they are being themselves, or if they are being who you have said you wanted in a mate. I tend to tell people straight forward, that I just want them to be themself and either we will work out or we won’t. But if you tell people what you like,want, expect… if they have reason to want to make you their own, then they have a full catalog of things to do to pull the wool over your eyes. I would rather let folks do what they do and make a decision with un biased data.
http://hispointofview.com
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
11:13 am
Dan
October 22nd, 2009
11:14 am
@Iwld
There’s my point (your 11:10).
You don’t know the intimate details of anyone else’s life journey, so your sample for comparison is limited and thus cannot be used, as it is not representative of a large enough community.
Put simply: “I don’t believe you, you need more people.”
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
11:15 am
OMG, didn’t read past your sentence on toning it down. I see you referenced cukoo’s nest too!!
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
11:16 am
@Leggs something is not right.
@IWLD how did you meet the Wendy’s guy? Will he give me the “hook up” on that spicy chicken sandwich with fries and a small chocolate frosty? Did you know his profession when you met him?
BTW I think you and Harley guy can live together happily ever after.
For Real
October 22nd, 2009
11:17 am
Dream: “Well maybe I can work with the education/career” – What if he applied his job skills in the back seat of the Gremlin? lol.. but do you get my point about expectations and prospective? That goes for the women that like to say “There ain’t no good men”
Ms. Main: Born and raised in the “A”. Meet me at Gun Club I will tell you all about it.
Dude: Awwwwwwwww YEAH!!! Baby that was great!
IWLDLIKE2DATE: Yeah it was lets do it again!
Dude: Fo sho baby give me about 15 min…
IWLDLIKE2DATE: 15 mins? That too long! Here I will put some KY under arm and you can stick it…
Dude: Heyyyyyyy! Hold on now that’s kinda freaky
IWLDLIKE2DATE: Looka here, I tackled high school, college, first full time job, moving to another city from a small town, practically everything in my life I’m on it. So yes it spills over into my dating.
Dude: Huh? Where did…
IWLDLIKE2DATE: What if I made armpit fart while you sticking it in?
Dude: DONE!!!
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
11:18 am
I am being misunderstood here – (Shedding a tear)
For Real
October 22nd, 2009
11:19 am
Ms. Main: “Harley Guy…sell your Mustang and Harley and get your own place. That will make your stock rise…having your own place that is…” – Are you going to be okay with picking him up for dates?
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
11:20 am
@ For Real – lol lol lol
Dan
October 22nd, 2009
11:20 am
@Iwld
You’re not.
But if you feel that you are, please feel free to drop the platitudes and generalizations.
Use the anonimity of this forum to express yourself as clearly as you need to.
Tazzee - boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
October 22nd, 2009
11:23 am
Sassy – I’m not sure where I’m going to watch the game. More than likely it will be in the privacy of my home with my boo.
Professor – LOL, I’m sure you can stand to have lemon pepper wings again Sunday. I can’t do them twice in one week – I’m trying to get beach fine for my honeymoon.
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
11:24 am
@EPO very true. but you know what i’ve found? no one can keep up the act if they’re fronting to meet your expectations. just let them do what they do, you be you, it will all come clear in time.
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
11:26 am
@IWLD
We are progressing you at least see what everyone is saying about the calming down. Now, I want you to get your insurance card out of your coach wallet and google a licensed professional in your area, because your personality will have you in jail or harmed stalking and worrying the wrong person. Sister, you need some coping skills. We all have our flaws, but when flaws become hazardous we have to learn to manage them. You are like a hunter getting tangled up in his own trap…learn how to use your tools properly
…now I want that spicy chicken sandwich for lunch! Whew, who is going to treat me to lunch?
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
11:26 am
Enough venting for me I will be observing from the side lines. Dating is too complicated. Man and women should meet and say they want to do want and do it end of story. Anything else has me anxious. I hate wondering. I work with numbers all do so there is always an answer. Dating has to be the same way or no way for me.
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
11:29 am
For Real
I get where you’re going, but you can’t apply that to the idea of women believing there are NO Good Men out there..
Although I am a firm believer that there are good men out there… just b/c I CAN’t go for something doesn’t mean another woman won’t.
Perry Homes– Don’t know where or what goes on over there, but I’m sure it can’t be good if you’re referencing to it. (with that being said we can meet and have dinner at a restaurant)
73 Gremlin: Don’t know what that looks like, but anything with the word Gremlin in it can’t be good… although shallow… I can’t drive in a car with any doors/windows/heat/AC/ not working accordingly.
Education– Plenty of men/women didnt finish high school and they have made something of themselves and can hold an intelligent conversation…
Morals– If our morals aren’t matching, then no need to further anything
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
11:31 am
WOW @ IWLD 11:26. it’s getting a little scary up in here.
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
11:32 am
@IWLD Dan is right use this blog, but also go in that coach wallet and do what I told you to do…girl it is a big world out here, but you have to know how to play before you can enjoy it.
If you decide not to I will try to find you a male order husband. What are you looking for so I can check the right boxes and order him for you?
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
11:32 am
Professor you just reminded me how much i like (of all things) Wendy’s spicey chicken sammich. Thank goodness there isn’t one anywhere near my job. LOL
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
11:33 am
@ Profess – he lives in another city and works at a wendy not close by.
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
11:33 am
@IWL2D ~ dating is a complexity all in itself. There are no clear answers and that’s why there are so many of us on this blog. Sorry if you actually shedded a tear, but you have to know you wear your emotions/eagerness/desperation on your sleeve. You can’t expect to get a clear answer the first time you meet someone. Dating has peaks and valleys and you may trip over a few pebbles along the way. Nothing is smooth while dating (well, not in the beginning). Relax, breathe and as Nelly would say…”pass it to the left!”
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
11:35 am
@Tazzee I see I need to get toned up some more my little body is not as tight as it could be…I guess I will start again in the spring or something..lol
SexyCool - Status - At about 5.13 on the Cloud Scale
October 22nd, 2009
11:36 am
Three Words Daily – Study success principles.
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
11:37 am
IWLDLIKE2DATE
*If we’re being serious*
The real world doesn’t work like that unfortunately. There are those rare breeds who are willing to put everything on the table during the first meeting of someone and let the other person descide if they want to deal with it or not… Then there’s the rest of the majority that don’t. Yeah dating can be complicated, but it can also be fun…. Stop putting so much out there, you see that it’s not working.. i think someone said earlier… If what you are doing isn’t working for you, then try a different approach. But like Professor said your tendencies that you display here can get you harmed or in jail… and dating shouldn’t end that way!
Sit back evaluate what you are doing that’s constantly giving you the same outcome and come up with a different approach. You’ll be fine.. I hope
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
11:37 am
@czbrat – I meaning I just need clear lines. No wondering what we are and where this is going when I am dating a guy. Don’t waste my time talking to me everyday when you can’t decide what you want to do. It confuses me and makes me wonder. I don’t like to wonder did that on my last relationship.
SexyCool - Status - At about 5.13 on the Cloud Scale
October 22nd, 2009
11:41 am
I expect chemistry, compliments, clever conversation, consistency and over time commitment.
I offer the same.
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
11:45 am
IWLDLIKE2DATE:??
No wondering what we are and where this is going when I am dating a guy
here is a suggestion for u..my brother works in advertising and he can hook u up a nice decal…sme like,
“looking to date a guy to marry,im really nice and bootiliscous,look at me”
U stick that on ur forehead for 1 week at least.
That shld remove all the confusion and noise,making it easy for u and the guys who approach….
U gotta take extreme measure now….
Lemme know!
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
11:47 am
“Don’t waste my time talking to me everyday when you can’t decide what you want to do.” IWL2D, by talking everyday is one way for a person to decide. All jokes aside, few know upfront, THIS IS THE ONE.
How old are you???
SexyCool - Status - At about 5.13 on the Cloud Scale
October 22nd, 2009
11:49 am
Another thing you should do is give yourself permission to move on once you realize your expectations are not being met – especially early in the dating process.
Allow your date the same. Know that your date owes you nothing. In the beginning of getting to know each other, the only thing required is that your date treats you with kindness during your time together.
The one thing worst than holding onto false hope is allowing a person hope when there is none.
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
11:51 am
LMAO at Melo!
Man that is funny, a decal? WTH
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
11:51 am
Ok while a lot of you may be advanced daters. I am not. I have been on the scene since summer of 2006 and have had four dates. Two relationships. I still feel very green.
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
11:52 am
@czBrat there is a Wendy’s close by and I am going today…I have been bad these last two days, but oh well. I just hate ol’ boy works in another city…I was going to tell him to just add the sammich in my bad and only pay for the fries…lol
For Real
October 22nd, 2009
11:53 am
Dream: “but you can’t apply that to the idea of women believing there are NO Good Men out there..” – Sure I can and your list of expectation is proof. I submit to you that every chick that has said “there are no good men” has had at least one. The problem with the term “Good Man” is the chick’s prospective. I bet you couldn’t get two blog chicks to agree 100% (no deleting and no addition) on what a “Good Man” is.
- with that being said we can meet and have dinner at a restaurant – Good for you
- I can’t drive in a car with any doors/windows/heat/AC/ not working accordingly – Yeah but you begged your parents to ride the school bus didn’t you?
- Plenty of men/women didnt finish high school and they have made something of themselves and can hold an intelligent conversation – Exactly education is not a great indictor of intelligence.
- If our morals aren’t matching, then no need to further anything – You didn’t ask for them to match. You only that he has some.
And no I’m not playing devils advocate. I like to be clear. Hey look that communication class is working thanks Ripple.
IWLDLIKE2DATE: “did that on my last relationship.” – Is he alive?
Dan
October 22nd, 2009
11:54 am
Sweet jeebus, she’s a kid.
Woooowwwww, Iwld.
In my less “enlightened” days you’d be ripe for the picking. too young and inexperienced to be jaded; “exitable” enough to believe anything that would come outta my mouf….daggum maturity
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
11:55 am
Proff.
my little body is not as tight as it could be
I like that word,”tight”"! U little Proff??
I know we got some running backs in here….
I luv that chili wendys chicken czBrat I luv it, plain,no mustard,no stale onion nor tomatoe etc.
Other than mickkydee fries,thats the only dog food i can stand!
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
11:55 am
@For Real – Yes he said he was scared I would poison him. So that ended that.
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
11:57 am
@ IWLD
I am green,too! Remember quality over quantity…if you learn a lesson from those four dates and two relationships than you are good.
In fact we all are students in some form or fashion you just need to calm your azz down and get some help. I would to watch a secret taping of you have a drink with a guy, and afterwards they interview the guy to get his take…
Any blog men up for this? Taking I would out with a hidden camera and giving her some feedback. I will take up a collection and we blog folks will offset the cost. Melo…Elijah..DK…Dan…
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
11:59 am
For Real Ms. Main: Born and raised in the “A”. Meet me at Gun Club I will tell you all about it
I smiled at this and got a bit nostalgic
For Real Ms. Main: “Harley Guy…sell your Mustang and Harley and get your own place. That will make your stock rise…having your own place that is…” – Are you going to be okay with picking him up for dates?
I straight out laughed…straight comedy…heck no. I only made a recommendation. He needs a plan. LOL