Great Expectations
Unrealistic expectations can set you for a big let down in dating. A lot of times, we go in to a situation seeking out a companion and heap all these desires in one person. When the person appears to let you down, we use this as an excuse not to try again.
I think men and women both have trouble with unrealistic expectations. Women expect to go on a few dates and the man will see how fabulous she is and instantly try to have a relationship. Men expect that when they take the time and money to ask a woman out, she needs to show him it’s worthwhile for him to continue to do so. Some guys think this includes sexual favors, others want the husband treatment. The things that men who are in a marriage receive, they expect to see in a dating relationship.
The thing about expectations? We rarely ever tell the person what they are. We have discussions and imply and infer them but explicitly saying them outright is simply not normal dating practice. Why is that? Is it because we know that saying them out loud will make us sound slightly wonky?
Really? You expect a man to commit because he thinks you are hot and have a education? Seriously? You expect a woman to cook and sex you up when you have issues with letting her stay at your house by herself?
What do you think are the expectations that we have in dating that set us up for letdowns?
How do we stop having them? What great expectations for dating do you have and are they realistic?
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299 comments Add your comment
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
3:57 pm
At lernnch, i went to ABC,bought some lernch,then,as the cashier walked to sort my order, i borrowed……weeeeell, i stole 1 copy of today’s $1.00 worth of USA today newspaper they sell.
Melo, do you
stealpapers often at lunchProfessor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
3:58 pm
I love me some Andre 3000
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
3:59 pm
awww Angie, please expect more from any potential partner (even in the earliest dating stages). we tend to attract what we put out there. if you’re sending “you don’t have to treat me well” vibes … they won’t.
SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.
October 22nd, 2009
4:00 pm
Melo – Go take them a dollar and maybe dude will bring your computer back.
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
4:02 pm
@ Professor
You are krazy!! but i’m with ya!
I agree with all that, reaping what you sow, karma, getting what you deserve… many names to it, but same meaning..
You get what you put out… although GOD does throw in a few tests/trails/tribulations….
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
4:02 pm
LMAO @ SexyCool
SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.
October 22nd, 2009
4:03 pm
I don’t think God throws in tests or whatever. However, I do believe that he allows them.
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
4:03 pm
no i dont take…steal, often Proff
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
4:05 pm
Not often, just every blue/gray moon.
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
4:06 pm
Abraham and Isaac….Isaac being the sacrifice? God told him to offer up his only son….as a test…no?
Nonya
October 22nd, 2009
4:07 pm
I have to agree with SexyCool that God doesn’t test us. At least 90% of my “tests/trails/tribulations” have been the direct result of my own actions and bad decisions.
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
4:09 pm
SexyCool
I believe he does test our faith.
Angie aka Beautiful
October 22nd, 2009
4:13 pm
Enter your comments here
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
4:13 pm
What about Job… Remember he was highly favored in GOD… God took away everything away from him… his kids, his cattle, his home… his wife even told him to curse him, but he didn’t…. Because he endured the test GOD blessed him with everything back… and even more!
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
4:13 pm
i believe He allows us to be tested by satan. how we fare is largely dependent and indicative of our faith in Him.
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
4:13 pm
I don’t agree that trials and tests are a result of my own actions…I think consequences are. Tests and trials are how we increase our walk…we overcome, we get stronger, we keep going.
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
4:14 pm
Ms. Main
Yes that was also a test.
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
4:14 pm
God did not take from Job. He allowed satan to do so. God restored Job’s blessings when he proved himself faithful.
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
4:15 pm
Okay, I believe he sees where we stand with him…whether it’s the devil tryna ride our backs or him holding out on me getting my hands on funds to see where I stand with him. Because yes, Dream_n and CZBrat, satan had to get permission to go after Job.
Angie aka Beautiful
October 22nd, 2009
4:16 pm
oops! hehehe.
@Leggs
just being honest hun. didn’t you just experience this? i’m jus weeding out the bad ones. pipe down!
@Brat
that’s the problem. i put out too much of myself . . . going all out. that is the reason for me expecting a lot from them.
@Prof
if i invite, yep i pay!
Tazzee - boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
October 22nd, 2009
4:17 pm
czBrat – I was in a meeting but SCool articulated my point. I am very proud of my accomplishments. At the same time, I try to always associate myself with folks that are doing bigger and better things to help motivate me to keep reaching for the stars. I’m pretty simple in the material things I desire so I get motivated by the folks that are going after their dreams. I get motivated by the folks that can stay on the workout grind…stuff like that. Because in the end, I still live by what my Grandma told me – if it can be done, I can do it if I work hard enough.
I remember bringing home a B and trying to act like it was a good thing. My Grandma was like ‘did anyone in the class get an A?’ She then told me that it can be done.
On tests – I believe life is a series of tests. If we don’t pass the test, we take it again. I don’t think God tests us. He’s already given us his commandments and his word. When we disobey his word, we view it as a test, when actually we’re just being disobedient. Once we conquer that area of disobedience, then we move on to the next level of ‘testing’ IMO.
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
4:17 pm
Yep, CZBrat…Job never did the things his friends accused him of…so yep, he was being tested. I do believe too, sometimes we make foolish or bad mistakes and we have consequences but I believe he sees us through that as well…if we want to learn better.
Angie aka Beautiful
October 22nd, 2009
4:18 pm
lol. and BRAT stop with the awww already. you kill me.
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
4:21 pm
My system was down.
@Leggs – Why do you think I am an embellisher?
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
4:23 pm
@Angie, no I didn’t just experience that. I went on a meet and greet not a date and nor would I walk around with that type of attitude. Hell No!
@WL2D, I was laughing at your back, fingers, neck hurting from all the typing.
Blue_Kolla
October 22nd, 2009
4:24 pm
Main I don’t mean to sound so bratty….Ms. Leggs
Quit apologizing. You laid that out real nice and neat.
Nonya Whether the term “karma” is associated with Buddhism, Hindu, Christian, or any other ancient culture, the bottom line is that it originates from the ideology that one deeds and actions will be revisited seven-fold.
Show me any person who is out committing crude, felonious, criminal, or immoral acts, and you’ll see that this same individual is living an unpeaceful, tormented life full of strife. Why do you think that Bill Gates gives all of that money to charity? 1: His wife 2: All that cash and power did nothing for his personal peace. 3: The realization of his own mortality – who really wants to get to the gate and have to tell The Lord that they had enough to feed and cloth a country, but only managed to buy a bum a sandwich?
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
4:25 pm
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
4:26 pm
@ leggs – Oh I just looked it up on Wiktionary
To make something sound or look better or more acceptable than it is in reality, to distort.
to embellish a story, the truth
Well I know to others it may sound off the wall. I assure you nothing I told you today was a lie. But hey you don’t know that. I do though =)
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
4:28 pm
@ Leggs – Oh I got it – disregard previous message -
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
4:28 pm
Blue Kollar…I did a subsequent post to Ms. Leggs that I really wasn’t apologizing but did that for the sake of Lord Velonese…who posted a few posts prior to that one…I was a brat. That was for the sake of Lord Velonese
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
4:30 pm
@Angie, no I didn’t just experience that. My little meet and greet wasn’t a date and it didn’t yield a second encounter. However, I’m not walking around with a negative attitude. I think it’s a crying shame you feel that way cuz I thought you were being facetioius@
@IWL2D ~ I thought it funny that your back, neck, fingers started to hurt cuz you were typing too much. I thought you were being funny as well. That’s why I thought you were embellishing something I guess I do everyday with no ill effects. Sorry!
But, Angie, you’re just dead wrong!
Blue_Kolla
October 22nd, 2009
4:32 pm
Main Sh!t Stain Nevermind… LMAO
Blue_Kolla
October 22nd, 2009
4:35 pm
I’m just playing, but I know I’m gon’ have to take SEVEN jones, just for karma’s sake.
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
4:37 pm
Blue…giving you the blank stare…I’m slow and behind the street times…didn’t get that…but right nevermind
Blue_Kolla
October 22nd, 2009
4:39 pm
I know slim. I just made that wild crack to knock the edge off the blog right quick. I know you were over there WTF did he say. LOL We cool though… I hope anyway.
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
4:41 pm
Hey BlueK, it was laid out nicely! She wasn’t apoloizing to me per se!
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
4:43 pm
I definitely need that massage – deep tissue followed with a stone massage.
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
4:44 pm
I need a deep tissue followed by a hot stone massage. Ohhhhhh yes!!!
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
4:45 pm
We cool though… I hope anyway.
yep
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
4:46 pm
I wish I could pop my back without hurting myself.
Blue_Kolla
October 22nd, 2009
4:47 pm
Leggs Thanks for the confirmation. I know that she wasn’t apologizing to you per se. …said as I peel off your 4″ pump.
Blue_Kolla
October 22nd, 2009
4:49 pm
IWLDLIKE2DATE I wish I could pop my back without hurting myself.
Come back in here tomorrow (Friday) with that same login name and you’ll have at least 7 dudes talkin’ ’bout BREAKIN’ yo back.
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
4:53 pm
You don’t have to peel them off, just slide them off.
I’m having computer trouble….good night!
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
4:55 pm
@ blue_Kolla – well let me get started with the kegel exercise again.
Google Dating Online » Great Expectations | Misadventures in Atlanta
October 22nd, 2009
10:10 pm
[...] more here: Great Expectations | Misadventures in Atlanta This entry is filed under Dating, Dating in Atlanta. You can follow any responses to this entry [...]
I SAW PAUL MOONEY
October 23rd, 2009
7:55 am
@SexyCool – Walking on…good morning-
it was a play on words, i was being facetious and you misinterpreted the statement based on the context in which it was used. allow me to clarify the meaning.
half empty = there is still a void that has yet to be filled.
cup has runneth over = they have had enough of the mundane – same thing day in and day out…reasons why people began to worry and concern themselves with the affairs of others
I SAW PAUL MOONEY
October 23rd, 2009
8:04 am
So, something for the ladies to think about…The other night, Paul spoke directly to Black women when he stated that, “you are ruining our Black men. By sheltering them, attempting to protect them from the “cruel ways of the world” you are crippling them. By spoiling them, and buying them everything they want you are teaching\training them to be pimps = to lean on, manipulate, and depend on a woman to get him the things that he desires…
How do you feel about that?
I SAW PAUL MOONEY
October 23rd, 2009
8:19 am
Karma can be positive or negative contingent upon one’s intentions. many people fail to realize that when karma comes around or goes around, it doesn’t always directly affect the individual who may have commited the act – it most often times rains on someone within their personal circle.
“faith is what you make it that’s the hardest $h!t since MC Ren”
-Andre 3k Benjamin
“faith is one thing but without work you ain’t got nothin, decisions from a mthafka hustlin” – Brad Scarface Jordan
Bo
October 24th, 2009
8:15 am
I’m just now getting to bed from being out all night with strippers. It cost me over $1000 but it was worth it to see the way other guys look at me!