Great Expectations
Unrealistic expectations can set you for a big let down in dating. A lot of times, we go in to a situation seeking out a companion and heap all these desires in one person. When the person appears to let you down, we use this as an excuse not to try again.
I think men and women both have trouble with unrealistic expectations. Women expect to go on a few dates and the man will see how fabulous she is and instantly try to have a relationship. Men expect that when they take the time and money to ask a woman out, she needs to show him it’s worthwhile for him to continue to do so. Some guys think this includes sexual favors, others want the husband treatment. The things that men who are in a marriage receive, they expect to see in a dating relationship.
The thing about expectations? We rarely ever tell the person what they are. We have discussions and imply and infer them but explicitly saying them outright is simply not normal dating practice. Why is that? Is it because we know that saying them out loud will make us sound slightly wonky?
Really? You expect a man to commit because he thinks you are hot and have a education? Seriously? You expect a woman to cook and sex you up when you have issues with letting her stay at your house by herself?
What do you think are the expectations that we have in dating that set us up for letdowns?
How do we stop having them? What great expectations for dating do you have and are they realistic?
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299 comments Add your comment
SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.
October 22nd, 2009
1:15 pm
OH um, yeah. Said all of that to say that Taz’s experience didn’t have squat to do with not paying for the tickets.
In fact, only once in life EVER have I paid to get into Uptown. Ever. And I will consider Taz’s experience in deciding to patronize Uptown in the future.
Bo
October 22nd, 2009
1:18 pm
I only date strippers. As long I keep feeding them coke, I know what to expect and I always get what I expect!
I like taking them to Falcons games in skimpy clothing. All the guys are jealous of me too.
Tazzee - boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
October 22nd, 2009
1:20 pm
SCool – they started giving away tix Friday, too soon if you ask me because I was planning to buy mine on Saturday… I’m glad you guys had a good experience but that is one establishment that will never see a $ from me. I like to support businesses that treat their customers with respect.
The way I see it – establishments give out free tickets to build up their customer base, not tear it down.
I SAW PAUL MOONEY
October 22nd, 2009
1:21 pm
as for the topic at hand, we all have expectations in 1 form or another. personally i’m of the mind-set that you cannot expect an individual to possess tangibles\intangibles that you do not possess yourself. i understand that we are all looking to “build” with another individual, but i think that many women get caught up in “what” a man has, rather than “who” a man is and what he stands for if anything. character\values\principles\responsibility\ambitious\etc.
these same things are what i’m attracted to in a woman. you may be attrative but that doesnt mean i’m attracted to you. a woman has to be an asset not just a$$ntit$-and just because you females have degrees MBA’s, CPA’s, and you’re highly “educated” – it does not mean that you’re highly “intelligent” – be careful not to confuse the two – dont pass on a brother simply because he does not have a piece of “sheepskin”. if he can stimulate you intellectually is the question you should ask yourself.
just a few thoughtz off the top …
Angie aka Beautiful
October 22nd, 2009
1:23 pm
**I expect if you give me your number you gon’ answer the phone…** lmao.
Tazzee - boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
October 22nd, 2009
1:24 pm
czBrat – my fiance’ didn’t tell me until AFTER my experience that he’d had a bad experience there. Apparently, folks deal with it because they keep on operating that way.
SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.
October 22nd, 2009
1:27 pm
I agree, Taz – They really should not have given any Mooney tix away because there were more than enough people willing to pay to see him.
Angie aka Beautiful
October 22nd, 2009
1:28 pm
@IWLDLIKE2DATE
don’t let ppl discourage you from posting the way you do. keep it flowin’.
Bo
October 22nd, 2009
1:29 pm
How can I post pic on here? I want to post some of one of my dates giving me a massage to prove what a stud I am.
Blue_Kolla
October 22nd, 2009
1:30 pm
I don’t put expectations on a date. When a female fails to reach the standards that I have established within my mind, she gets the gong… followed up by the invisible SandMan; but there is never any emotional letdown, as if the sky was falling.
I really don’t get that whole “letdown” thing anyway. Trust me, half of the people that for whatever reason, don’t work out, probably some issues that you don’t want to deal with anyway, no matter how pretty, fine, or good the p!ssy was.
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
1:31 pm
The trolls are in groves today.
SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.
October 22nd, 2009
1:32 pm
So, Taz – I can’t suggest CNO at Uptown, huh?
Couples Night Out.
~laughing~
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
1:32 pm
Tazzee,i take it u have never been inside Uptown??
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
1:35 pm
Trust me, half of the people that for whatever reason, don’t work out, probably some issues that you don’t want to deal with anyway, no matter how pretty, fine, or good the p!ssy was.
Are we to assume “half the people” referenced above would be women ince kitty is referenced as well? Once again we caused the demise of what could have been. Sigh
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
1:35 pm
How can I post pic on here?
BO..craiglist.com is our sister establishment.
Try there!
Blue_Kolla
October 22nd, 2009
1:36 pm
Now to follow that up, if I’ve got some time and energy invested… say over 8 months, then you doing silly sh!t just might cast a shadow of disappointment (letdown), which if you ain’t towing the line, will lead to you walkin’ the plank.
And obviously I’m not perfect, because I’ve been blown off by at least two chicks myself. LOL
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
1:38 pm
she says the servers are real good at disappearing with your change
Just 500 yards to the west of Uptown is hood.
What do u expect??
this turkey samwgwnch was good!
Blue_Kolla
October 22nd, 2009
1:40 pm
Main Are we to assume “half the people” referenced above would be women ince kitty is referenced as well? Once again we caused the demise of what could have been. Sigh
Since I’m a dude and ain’t on nobody’s down-LOW, that’s exactly right – women/men and men/women. But you’re getting caught up on the flavoring words as opposed to the message.
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
1:43 pm
@Melo, Uptown should have been moved years ago. I was surprised when I arrived. Even their door system is unprofessional. Doorman laughing at women walking up to the club. Yes, they were laughing at two extremely skinny, very pretty young ladies.
Blue_Kolla
October 22nd, 2009
1:46 pm
All I want to know is does the Uptown still have the same sound system that they had when it was on Peachtree? Damn… that joint was LOUD!
Tazzee - boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
October 22nd, 2009
1:48 pm
SCool – LOL, naw we’d have to pass on that CNO.
Melo – never been in there. I’ve been to the Uptown in Houston and it was nice. They had great salads too – nice fresh romaine lettuce and ripe tomatoes…
Back on topic – I never expected a potential mate to have anything that I didn’t have. The problem was when I expected a potential mate to have everything that I had.
Tazzee - boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
October 22nd, 2009
1:51 pm
Melo – I had a turkey sandwich for lunch too. A ham and turkey sandwich from Honeybaked Ham…that sandwich was GHUD!
Professor---My Christmas shopping is almost done!!!!
October 22nd, 2009
1:51 pm
@Leggs…I should have said bobby pins now you got me over here really cracking up!
@Dream and Melo…I was pulling for her to go deep on the art thingy. I am eating this spicy chicken sammich and it is good
Hey Mo!
I had to almost shut it down at uptown when that server aka heifer did not bring my change! sorry flash back
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
1:52 pm
I can’t imagine what Uptown looks like in the daytime, but it looks like a dump at night! Guess my expectations were too high!
Blue_Kolla
October 22nd, 2009
1:55 pm
Tazzee The problem was when I expected a potential mate to have everything that I had.
That’s a helluva statement, for the simple fact that everyone is at different points in their journey. Some are ebbing, while others are flowing; and some are rising while others are falling. And then some things that one might consider necessary, others might not see as being worth 2 dead flies.
So what was the answer to your problem?
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
1:56 pm
Leggs,i wldnt be surprised that the owner has a hook up at the City that keeps his place open.Its seedy inside,been there about 2 x with Queen and a crew of 8,on comp tickets,with nothing better to do on a friday.The tables??they stick,literally.U put ur hand on tha table,it gets stuck in dirt,15 yr old drink spill etc…
The food..ouch.eeeeewww gulp..uggh mmmew*&%$#&&^!! is atrocious.Queen has an alligator like gall bladder and snake/hyena saliva,so she eats wings in there,she eats anything!
Me?? no waaaay!
Professor---My Christmas shopping is almost done!!!!
October 22nd, 2009
1:57 pm
I think I know who Bo is, if he post his email addy in the next ten seconds we will all know that he reincarnated himself with a new blog name.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)
October 22nd, 2009
1:57 pm
The problem was when I expected a potential mate to have everything that I had.
I’ve made this mistake,too but I’ve realized that I can’t assume that to be true b/c people are at different stages/stations in thier lives and it my not necessarily be where I am. I used to think that at a certain point in our lives there are some things we should have but as I’ve said, that’s obviously not the status quo.
SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.
October 22nd, 2009
1:57 pm
Most nightclubs/concert venues look pretty dingy by the harsh light of day.
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
1:59 pm
Hello I am back!!
Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)
October 22nd, 2009
2:00 pm
I think I know who Bo is, if he post his email addy in the next ten seconds we will all know that he reincarnated himself with a new blog name.
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
2:00 pm
@ Melo – I was leaving when your post came up so it was either use the bathroom on myself or respond. I chose the latter.
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
2:03 pm
“…has an alligator like gall bladder and snake/hyena saliva,” I have never read anything like this describing those two areas. You are truly touched!
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
2:03 pm
correction **was either respond and use the bathroom on myself or go use the bathroom***
Professor---:evil:
October 22nd, 2009
2:05 pm
Enter your comments here
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
2:05 pm
Sassy
You and those icons…lmao
I’m doing a web/training and its soooo boring!!!
Professor--
October 22nd, 2009
2:05 pm
Well we don’t want you to have to put on a depend just to blog…so handle it
Professor--
October 22nd, 2009
2:07 pm
…stepping out for a moment
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
2:07 pm
IWLDLIKE2DATE
either use the bathroom on myself or respond. I chose the latter.
u here now and u read what i said…
tell me when ur google research is done.
SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.
October 22nd, 2009
2:07 pm
Just got a flash of the astronaut chick driving with the diaper on.
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
2:09 pm
But you’re getting caught up on the flavoring words as opposed to the message
Not really…I understood where you was going
Blue_Kolla
October 22nd, 2009
2:10 pm
Sassy I used to think that at a certain point in our lives there are some but as I’ve said, that’s obviously not the status quo.
And what exactly are these “things we should have” – character, respect for self and others, dignity, humility, pride… or big house, European auto, stock portfolio, and money sack under the mattress?
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
2:10 pm
@ Melo – I like a various of artists. I tend to like local artists though. I really don’t pay attention to the name because I usually won’t remember them. I do however have a picasso hanging in my bedroom. With that said I love abstract art. Any art that shows feeling and has meaning. One of my favorites, a painting with a red background with a brown board over it with holes burnt throughout it. And white painted on each side of the holes. It was called Burned.
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
2:11 pm
Now Great!!
Queen is hollering at me on the phone.
Some bummer jus smashed the window to our expensive car,in Chamblee(of all places) as she stopped to shop at kroger,reached the trunk and got an AT@T busness laptop.
All they were looking for.
I told her to call the cops…thats lyfe!
Its the recession pple,be careful.
SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.
October 22nd, 2009
2:13 pm
A real Picasso? A Picasso print? Or a Picasso poster?
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
2:13 pm
The artist was meaning for the brown to be their skin and the red to be their blood. The white to be bandages that was healing their skin from being burned by things that occurred in their life. At least thats what I take.
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
2:15 pm
@sexycool a print
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
2:15 pm
You beat me to the punch, SCool.
So so sorry to hear that, Melo!
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
2:19 pm
I really don’t pay attention to the name because I usually won’t remember
WLDLIKE2DATE??
for smebody who likes art and frequents art galleries and museums,thats kinda strange??
i used to have an uncle who spends as much time in the toilet like u do..u may want to cut the time,that may get u more men options.
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
2:22 pm
ahhh, Melo, that sucks! i hope your fam is ok.