Great Expectations
Unrealistic expectations can set you for a big let down in dating. A lot of times, we go in to a situation seeking out a companion and heap all these desires in one person. When the person appears to let you down, we use this as an excuse not to try again.
I think men and women both have trouble with unrealistic expectations. Women expect to go on a few dates and the man will see how fabulous she is and instantly try to have a relationship. Men expect that when they take the time and money to ask a woman out, she needs to show him it’s worthwhile for him to continue to do so. Some guys think this includes sexual favors, others want the husband treatment. The things that men who are in a marriage receive, they expect to see in a dating relationship.
The thing about expectations? We rarely ever tell the person what they are. We have discussions and imply and infer them but explicitly saying them outright is simply not normal dating practice. Why is that? Is it because we know that saying them out loud will make us sound slightly wonky?
Really? You expect a man to commit because he thinks you are hot and have a education? Seriously? You expect a woman to cook and sex you up when you have issues with letting her stay at your house by herself?
What do you think are the expectations that we have in dating that set us up for letdowns?
How do we stop having them? What great expectations for dating do you have and are they realistic?
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299 comments Add your comment
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
11:59 am
Don’t waste my time talking to me everyday when you can’t decide what you want to do.
perhaps it is in the talking everyday that each of you will come to some realization as to what you want to do next. that’s just part of the process. please try to relax and enjoy.
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
12:01 pm
@ Profess – I don’t like to drink. I want a guy to take me to the art musuem or barnes & nobles. Engage in activities that exercise my mind.
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
12:03 pm
The problem with the term “Good Man” is the chick’s prospective. I bet you couldn’t get two blog chicks to agree 100% (no deleting and no addition) on what a “Good Man” is.
For Real where are we missing eachother at??
Of course I couldn’t get 2 women to agree! Like I said before what I want another woman may not think its that important, or likewise…
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
12:03 pm
@For Real – Yes he said he was scared I would poison him. So that ended that….I seriously laughing now. This can’t be for real (sorry ForReal).
Glenn Close, how did you find this blog????
For Real
October 22nd, 2009
12:04 pm
chemistry: Man we both just finished playing softball and don’t smell wet feet in a hot shoe
compliments: Dayum she got some nice ass thumbs
clever conversation: I know what dude I am. I’m the dude playin’ the dude, disguised as another dude!
consistency: Opps it 2:00 time to take a dump
over time commitment: (while sitting on can for his 2:00) Ahhhh man I shouldn’t ate those garlic crusted devil eggs!
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
12:05 pm
@Dan ~ if you think she’s ripe for the picking in your heyday, sounds like you might have wound up like Demi did with a gun to his temple and his drawers around his ankles…
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
12:06 pm
Glenn Close, how did you find this blog????
Leggs it’s too early!!! lmao!!!
East Point's Own
October 22nd, 2009
12:07 pm
czBrat re: your 11:24 post — That’s true, but you get rid of the fakers much faster if they don’t have a framework in place to guide them…
Dan
October 22nd, 2009
12:09 pm
@Iwld
Found out the hard way that taking a date to B & N, or the art museum is not likely to have a happy ending.
Reading and enjoyment of particular styles of art are too subjective to work, it ruins the “bonding” experience.
SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.
October 22nd, 2009
12:09 pm
For Real – you have missed your calling – comedy writer.
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
12:10 pm
Demi did with a gun to his temple and his drawers around his ankles…
hes in hospital???
Tell him i melo said,”get well soon!”
Is his johnson aaaight tho?? (thats the most important thang)
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
12:10 pm
@ Leggs – I am serious. He said he was scared I would poison him if he did something like cheat or if something went wrong and it was his fault. I don’t know where he got that idea. I never told him I would do those things. I even look back at the relationship I never demanded he do things or else or was possessive at least I think.
Dan
October 22nd, 2009
12:11 pm
@Leggs
“not I” said the cat.
I stays strapped like velro. Woulda been the “wild, wild, west” more likely
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
12:11 pm
likely to have a happy ending.
Dan what kind of ending were you hoping to have?
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
12:13 pm
To me I have exhibited normal behaviors in my relationship.
Dan
October 22nd, 2009
12:14 pm
@Dream
Nasty.
I was talking about how esp. when starting to date, that little differences (such as liking Rembrandt’s style over Monet’s) start to add up. It’s that “if [s]he don’t like ketchup – I could never like her [him]“
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
12:14 pm
i think i’m gonna have to take a que from one of Raqi’s comments a while back and avoid reading certain posts on this blog today. i’m really not tryin to wander around in the twilight zone.
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
12:16 pm
Dan
Well I never…. my mind was not in the gutter… I just needed you to elaborate a little more
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
12:17 pm
czBrat
I can only guess who you’re remaining silent on today…
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
12:19 pm
This blog has been therapeutic for me today.
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
12:20 pm
YESSSS you might as well put the rabbit in the pot!
Glen Close is in the building.
All of that art and BandN sounds good on the blog. Girl just go to D&B and play some games have them to spike your coffee and relax…stop trying to go deep on every date…hell fart if you have too.
Ms. Main
October 22nd, 2009
12:21 pm
Don’t do it IWLDLIKE2DATE…the more you spill the more suspect you become. Better yet, maybe you should air because if you’re serious about some of the stuff you’re saying maybe intervention is needed
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
12:22 pm
IWLDLIKE2DATE??
What kind of art u like…any masperpieces in ur collection? which art gallery u been lately? which artists wrk do u admire the most..
IWLDLIKE2DATE
October 22nd, 2009
12:24 pm
(I’m getting off the couch) I have to take a crap now. Have a nice day everyone!!!
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
12:26 pm
LOL @ Dream_n 12:17 We eye to eye?
Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)
October 22nd, 2009
12:29 pm
sounds like you might have wound up like Demi did with a gun to his temple and his drawers around his ankles…
Please tell me that’s a joke….please…..
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
12:30 pm
@IWL2D, you may not know how he got that idea, but like I said yesterday, you may need to change your perfume. Men can smell/sense you’ll take a machete to their backside in a blink of an eye.
@Dan, yeah, it could possibly turn into the wild, wild west.
@Melo, Demi is not in the hospital….just a story he told us a while back. I don’t ask him about his johnson!
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
12:31 pm
@Dan, if you’re using “velro” you probably shot yourself in the foot when you dropped it.
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
12:31 pm
just a story he told us a while back. I don’t ask him about his johnson!
thank u jesus…was really worried for his lil man!
Dan
October 22nd, 2009
12:34 pm
@Melo – that was ghey
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
12:37 pm
DSan,maybe, if u want it to be…..,he got a new lady and if he hurt,he may need help….
Professor is.....
October 22nd, 2009
12:37 pm
@Melo
I see your girl did not list any artist, masterpieces etc. Makes you wonder when people start talking all this BS and cannot name a painter or their favorite era.
Just be real and say I like going to Applebee’s and blogging all day. At night I like to watch movies and dig in my ears with q-tips
Leggs
October 22nd, 2009
12:41 pm
Glad YOU said digging in ears with q-tips and not with bobby pins!!!!
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
12:41 pm
Proff,yeah i thoght she wld go deep on art and i cld be a potential date…
Instead,she ghosts…..
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
12:43 pm
@ Professor
I agree.. that’s like men/women saying.. I enjoy reading.. but can’t name the last book they read..
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
12:44 pm
LMAO @ PROFESSOR & LEGGS!! nooooo…not bobby pins!!
Dan
October 22nd, 2009
12:45 pm
Outlier – Malcolm Gladwell
moving on to: Renegade: the making of a president, then “creating a world without poverty”
Tazzee - boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
October 22nd, 2009
12:45 pm
Professor – you’ve got me cracking up over here:
Girl just go to D&B and play some games have them to spike your coffee and relax…stop trying to go deep on every date…hell fart if you have too.
I SAW PAUL MOONEY
October 22nd, 2009
12:46 pm
@Tazzee I bough tickets yesterday afternoon on line at about 4pm for the 10pm show. got in – got seated – got my monies worth…lesson -
you get what you pay for – and you paid for nothing – exactly what you got…
Melo
October 22nd, 2009
12:47 pm
Lil Wayne
He acknowledged he had a .40 caliber semi-automatic loaded gun on bus
he entered his plea to second-degree attempted weapon possession, a felony
NOW,how can having a gun in ur possession be called “attempted”??
Law = Fraud
where is Poppa??
SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.
October 22nd, 2009
12:49 pm
I like TGI Friday’s, blogging, writing poetry (and anything else that leaks out of my brain), lazy summer afternoons and watching football on Sundays.
Singing – I also like baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and Chevrolet.
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
12:52 pm
Why people feel the need to be nasty or rude is beyond me..
*shrugs*
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
12:54 pm
@ Melo
If it was loaded and not in a case… that very well may classify it as attempted….
My uncle went to jail a couple weeks back for having a shot-gun in his car.. He has a gun liscence, but the gun was loaded and not in a case…
Mo (aka Moeisha)
October 22nd, 2009
12:54 pm
Afternoon Err’body!
Professor – I am over cracking up at you chica!
So whats good ya’ll?
Dream_n
October 22nd, 2009
12:55 pm
*license* sorry
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
12:59 pm
So whats good ya’ll?
waiting for IWLD to get off the can so For Real & Melo can continue the fireworks.
SexyCool - Walking on sunshine. Dancing on air.
October 22nd, 2009
1:04 pm
MND was offered a fax list for Tuesday’s 10p show. He paid nothing. With $5 tickets for anyone else on our list.
We were about a block back in the line waiting for the 8 show to close. Got great seats. He spent less than $20 on our two item minimum. We went up after the show and bought the dvd and paid for a picture.
We had a great experience.
Tazzee - boycotting Uptown Comedy Corner
October 22nd, 2009
1:10 pm
I SAW PAUL MOONEY – you’re right I got nothing. However it was bad business for Uptown Comedy Corner to give out tickets and then announce to the crowd they were getting in. So guess what – they will be getting nothing from me, plain and simple.
AND I will continue to communicate my experience to anyone that will listen so that there will be a few more folks that will be paying for, and getting nothing from Uptown Comedy Corner. But I’m glad you got a chance to see him and I’m sure there will be other chances for me to see him – at a different venue.
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
1:11 pm
wish i could have taken you up on that offer SexyC. just couldn’t make it Tuesday night
czBrat
October 22nd, 2009
1:13 pm
Tazzee, my sister did warn me that she has gone there in the past and found that they seat you in VIP if the place is empty, then ask you to move if more people show up. Also, she says the servers are real good at disappearing with your change. I thought I’d take a chance anyway cuz I really wanted to see him. I think from now on I’ll just pay more to see performances at the Fox.